Chapter 22 This Sickening Cosmic Dance

Two days later, Ludwig had decided to make his way toward the common room. He had a book (a particularly large and dusty book) tucked underneath his left arm when he did. He of course was going to read it; there was no joy for him in the real world (or at least this version of the real world). He wanted peace; the kind of peace that an introvert can only find in perfect solitude. Unfortunately, he would come to find that would be easier said than done, as Wendy and Larry were playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe.

Larry smiled when he saw his oldest brother. "Hey Ludwig! Do you want to play Mario Kart?"

"Do I look like I want to play Mario Kart?" The voice he was using was his own; he hadn't been under the influence of the voice transfer spell since that conversation with Kamek.

Larry smirked. "I don't know; you look like someone who usually wants to play Mario Kart."

Ludwig glared at Lawrence. "Ha ha ha!" He shook his head. "Well, I didn't come here to play Mario Kart; I came here to get away from Lemmy." He took a seat on the couch. "That kid is driving me crazy! I mean, I knew he was annoying before, but now he's annoying with my face! Let me tell you; I didn't know I was capable of making half the expressions he makes!"

Wendy wore a smirk not too dissimilar to the one Larry had just worn. "Yeah, I see what you mean Ludwig. I'd be freaked out if I saw you smile too." This jab got a laugh out of Larry, and a shake of the head and glare from Ludwig. The oldest opened his book to a random spot in the middle and began to read.

However, he didn't get to make much progress with reading, as Lemmy came into the room. When he saw the Koopa who was in possession of his body, Ludwig held back a groan.

"Oh. Great; it's you."

Lemmy's brow furrowed. "That's not the warmest of greetings. Then again, it is better than what you said to me earlier."

Ludwig's eyebrows lowered in a slanted position. "Our younger siblings are in the room. I can't exactly repeat that in mixed company."

Lemmy nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he did. He turned toward Larry and Wendy, and his expression rose. "Oh sweet! You're playing Mario Kart! Can I join?"

"Sure!" Wendy exclaimed.

"Yeah! We can switch to three players," Larry said as he restarted the game.

Ludwig rolled his eyes as Lemmy took a seat in front of the TV. While this wasn't surprising, it was still irritating. He licked the tip of his finger and turned the page.

Lemmy giggled as the three of them selected their avatars. Larry and Wendy picked themselves, and they were fully expecting Lemmy to pick himself too. Surprisingly, he didn't; instead, he picked Rosalina.

"Woah; a heavyweight!" Larry exclaimed. "And a hot one too; nice choice Lemmy!"

"Thanks! I really like Rosalina; her backstory is what makes Super Mario Galaxy interesting. I mean, the game itself is fantastic, but her presence really enhances it."

"I agree," Wendy said.

Larry nodded as well as he selected the mode. "Hey, you want to do' 200cc?"

"Nah," Lemmy said. "That's fun, but can be a pain on certain tracks. I say we go Mirror; Mirror doesn't require you to use the break as often. Besides, it's slightly faster than 150cc."

Ludwig, who had been listening, lowered his book. "Oh my God." He directed his gaze off into the distance. "I am in the body of a gamer. I can only imagine how many pizza slices and soft drinks have gone down this throat." He shuddered and delved even deeper into the world of his book. Sadly, once again, he didn't stay there for long. Roy came into the room with a happy-go-lucky smile.

"Hey dudes; what's up?"

Ludwig groaned. "Oh, NICE! Nice, nice, nice! Why don't we get the whole kingdom in here while we're at it? We can hold the Koopa Kingdom Annual Gala right here, right now!"

Roy's eyes grew wide. "Oh man, can we really do that?" He turned toward the door. "I need to go get my tux ready!"

Ludwig closed his eyes in frustration. "I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!" Thankfully, this exclamation prevented Roy from leaving the room, at least for the moment. The prodigy opened his book back up.

Lemmy, Wendy, and Larry got ready as Lakitu counted down the race. "Uh oh." Right as the light turned green was when Lemmy's face fell. "Guys, can we pause?"

Larry paused the game and furrowed his brow. "What's up?"

Lemmy cringed. "I have to go to the bathroom."

Ludwig sighed. "Of course you do."

Wendy blinked. "Wait, you mean you've been swapped for five days and you haven't needed to go to the bathroom?"

"Yeah, I know, it's weird!" Lemmy said. "I'm starting to think that's another one of Ludwig's superpowers!"

Ludwig shook his head. "No, that's not it. The reason why that is is because of something that happened to me when I went to…" Ludwig noticed everyone staring at him, which jolted his shame gland out of its temporary stupor. "Never mind." He turned another page.

Lemmy put down the controller and rose to standing. "Okay, I don't really want to have an accident right now. So, Ludwig, if it's okay with you…?"

Ludwig sighed in defeat. "Go ahead. Might as well; it's better than doing it out here."

Lemmy nodded his head and left the common room. Ludwig waited a second before he noticed everyone staring at him again. He put on a fake smile.

"Ah. Now listen to that awkward silence." His fake smile got wider. "Don't you just love those?"

Roy scratched his head. "Man. How is it that your voice is coming out of Lemmy's mouth? You sounded like Lemmy when we were at the breakfast table the other day."

Ludwig blinked before groaning and pinching his brow. "Okay, Roy, Lemmy is currently going to the bathroom in my body. I am NOT in the mood to explain this concept to you again!"

Larry rose from his siting position and looked at Ludwig curiously. "I don't know Ludwig; your situation is an interesting one. There's a lot we still want to know."

Ludwig sniffed. "Well, I do like playing the role of wise man. What question would you like me to answer, mere mortal?"

Larry beamed. "Well, I was wondering. Maybe, when your souls got swapped, it's possible that little pieces of your psyche stayed with your bodies, thus allowing you and Lemmy to have telepathic conversations." His eyes glittered. "Can you read each other's minds?"

Ludwig gave the youngest an incredulous look. "Yes, Larry; we can read each other's minds. Lemmy is currently thinking about pasta and I'm currently thinking about what a major doofus you are. NO WE CAN'T READ EACH OTHER'S MINDS!" He raised his book for the umpteeth time. "It's bad enough that I'm trapped in his body; I'm not going anywhere near his brain!"

Larry bit his lip to contain his joy. "Well, you only really swapped souls, and the only physical aspect you managed to keep were your voices. So…on a technical level, don't you kind of already have his brain?"

Ludwig would have shuddered, but unfortunately, he was too overcome with shock fatigue to feel disgust at that suggestion. So, instead, he wore a miffed expression as he looked back down at his story. "I might not have my powers at the moment, but I still have the ability to kill or not kill; just saying."

Larry nodded and took a seat back down in front of the TV. About half a minute later, Lemmy came back into the room. "Whew." He let out a breath as the door closed. "That…that was an experience."

The atmosphere was as thick as fog as Lemmy retook his seat. With his back to Ludwig, he spoke up. "Hey Ludwig, did you know about…"

"I know."

There was another second before Lemmy spoke up again. "Also, did you see how…"

"I know!"

Another second before Lemmy turned and spoke again. "And, did you know about this thing that…"

A vein in Ludwig's forehead throbbed. "Okay, Lemmy! I'm going to make this easier for you; I. KNOW! Now can we please change the subject?"

"Oh, Okay." Lemmy turned back toward the TV. Ludwig had just finished reading a sentence when Lemmy spoke again. "Also, based on what I've seen, I think you have a serious medical problem."

"GRRMMMMMHHH!" Ludwig didn't even know if there was a name for the sound he just made, but it was certainly an angry one. He felt ready to turn to the nearest person and punch their lights out.

"Okay, okay," Wendy said, holding her hand up in a stern yet gentle way. "Let's move on." She turned back to Lemmy. "Iggy still hasn't made any progress, has he?"

"No," Lemmy said with a shake of his head. "It turns out trying to find someone who's been dead for the past century is a lot harder than it looks." He perked up and turned toward Ludwig. "Oh, and speaking of things that are harder than they look…"

"LEMMY!" Ludwig glared at the Clown Prince, his throat tight and his entire form shaking. "I had to go to the bathroom too. Do you want me to spill all your secrets to the world?"

Lemmy blinked. "What are you talking about? I was going to say playing the piano!"

Ludwig did a double take. "Oh." His tone simmered done to a calmer level. "Piano. Okay, I guess that's fine." He looked back down at his book. He read two more sentences before he noticed everyone else staring at him. "Don't look at me like that," he said to Larry, Wendy, and Lemmy. He redirected his attention, hoping he could actually finish a paragraph this time. Unfortunately, chortles escaped from Roy's lips. They rose in intensity until they were no longer chortles, but full on laughter.

Ludwig lowered his book. "Roy! Stop it! It's not what you think!"

Roy continued laughing, grabbing onto the side table for balance. "Sorry. Sorry; I just need a minute." He put his other hand to his chest and wheezed.

Ludwig rolled his eyes while cringing. "This week keeps getting worse and worse." He turned the page. "I swear, if Iggy doesn't find that duplighost soon, he's going to be joining it in the afterlife." He began reading, this time fully determined to read it all the way through. Interruptions be damned.

"Who's going to be joining who in the afterlife?"

Ludwig felt like screaming. In fact, he was just an inch away from doing so. However, he regained control over himself when he saw that it was the koopa troopa servant, Hikaru. The others reoriented themselves.

"Oh, Hikaru!" Wendy looked at the screen. "We were just talking about the video game we were playing."

Hikaru raised an eyebrow. "There's an afterlife in Mario Kart?"

"Yeah," said Larry. "We were playing battle mode."

Hikaru's eyebrow rose even higher. "On a race track?"

"Yeah! You can do that in Mario Kart 8!"

Hikaru gawked. "But…you're playing the Deluxe version."

Wendy rolled her eyes and turned around. "Forget about that; why are you here?"

Hikaru cleared her throat. "Well, I came to deliver a message from Bowser. There is a gang of thugs down near the castle wall. They've been there for the better part of the past three hours. He's already sent the guards down there, but the thugs still refuse to leave. He wants you guys to go take care of them."

All of the present Koopalings blinked. "Us?" Larry asked.

"Yeah. Or at the very least, as many of you as possible."

Lemmy and Ludwig exchanged a look before Lemmy spoke up. "We can't do that!"

"Yeah!" said Ludwig. "Hikaru, not all of us are fit to fight at the moment."

"Bowser is aware of that," Hikaru said. "And he is requiring both of you to participate in that fight. He said you two can consider it punishment for the trouble you got in over the past few days."

Both of the soul swapped Koopalings gawked. "But…but…" Ludwig sputtered.

"No buts," said Hikaru. "You are required to fight that gang. And if they aren't gone by the time you're done, then Bowser says that all seven of you are grounded." She smiled. "Have a good day, your majesties!" She left, leaving everyone to chew on that information.

Ludwig turned toward the others, his jaw dropped and his eyes unblinking. "We aren't really going to fight those guys, are we?"

Roy shrugged. "Why not? Ludwig, all we have to do is put you in front of those thugs and we'll be all set!"

Ludwig sniffed. "Listen, Roy, I like beating random nobodies senseless as much as the next Koopa, but I don't know if you noticed (and considering it's you we're talking about that isn't out of the realm of possibility), my ass kicking capabilities are kind of out of commission at the moment."

Lemmy stood up. "Well, maybe you can teach me how to use your powers?"

Ludwig snorted. "Yeah, that would be a hell no! Lemmy, I wouldn't trust with a potted plant; you really think I would trust you with my powers?"

"Oh come on!" Lemmy exclaimed. "I left that plant outside one time!"

"It was during a volcanic eruption!"

"Come on! It was a potted plant; it's not like it was that important!"

"IT WAS A DINO PIRANHA; IT COST ME 50 THOUSAND COINS!"

"Okay guys, cut it out!" Wendy said as she stood up. She flashed Ludwig a look. "And who keeps a potted plant in a volcanic region anyway?"

Ludwig allowed his shoulders to relax. "Regardless, the point still stands. I am not going to teach Lemmy how to use my powers. At this point, I would rather set myself on fire." He raised his finger just as Larry opened his mouth. "And Larry, I know what you're going to say, but before you say it, I'll just let you know that those flames can't hurt me. The only way I can use them as a heat source is if I use them to light a campfire. Or something to that effect."

Larry nodded, a look of comprehension on his face. The others exchanged looks.

"Well, we still need to fight them," Wendy said. "We'll be grounded otherwise!"

Ludwig snorted. "Oh, I'm so scared. I've been stuck in the body of a midget for the better part of the last week; I'm pretty much grounded already!"

Lemmy snickered. "I get it; because you can't fly anymore. That was a good pun."

Ludwig grit his teeth. "Shut. The Fuck. UP!" Lemmy stopped giggling, allowing Ludwig to exit the tense position. He addressed everyone else. "I can't fight like this! Lemmy's right; since my powers are tied to my body, that means I don't have them anymore! Besides, I don't know if you noticed, but the physical stats I'm working with are…limited." He flexed, making it clear that Lemmy wasn't the strongest Koopa of all time.

Wendy's face fell. "You're right." She turned toward Larry and Roy. "So, I guess that's something we're going to have to work around."

Roy bit his lip. "You make a good point." He tilted his head up. "But that's alright Wen. I'm sure the rest of us can figure something out."

"How?" Larry asked. "Ludwig is the best fighter out of all of us!"

"Yeah! I am, aren't I!" Ludwig looked back down at his book. "Interesting how people don't appreciate what I do until I can't do it!"

Wendy flashed him a glare, but only a little one. Even she had to admit that the oldest was right.

Roy, however, didn't. "Woah woah. Best?" He smirked. "That's debatable; I think I'M the strongest Koopaling."

Lemmy stepped in. "You are strong physically Roy, but you aren't a special." He lowered his head. "And neither am I, for that matter."

Wendy looked back and forth between her brothers. "Well, that doesn't really matter right now. We're wasting time that could be spent getting those thugs off of castle property." She feigned a confident grin. "We've dealt with stronger enemies before; I'm sure we can deal with a few gang members."

Larry nodded. "Yeah. You're right."

"I see what you're saying," said Lemmy.

"I still think I'm the best fighter," said Roy.

Wendy smiled. "Well, then I guess it's settled." She turned toward the door. "Let's go get Iggy and Morton; we could use their help."

Ludwig, with his eyes on the book, scoffed. "Yeah, you might want to rethink that plan Princess, cause Ignatius is NOT going anywhere!"

Wendy sent him a glare before sighing. "Okay, fine. We'll go get Morton." She made her way out, with Roy close behind. Lemmy and Larry looked back at the oldest.

"Ludwig, you coming?" Lemmy asked.

Ludwig sighed. "Yeah. Just give me a second; need to save my page." He pulled a bookmark out of his hammerspace and set the volume down on the side table. "Okay. Let's get this over with." He dismounted the couch and made his way over. "Loserville, here I come." He was just about to exit when Larry touched his shoulder.

"Hey Ludwig. About that medical problem you have. You know, they have surgeries to correct that. Heck, if you really want, I bet you could ask Iggy…"

"It's. Not. That." Ludwig said, his grumpiness present in every word.

"Oh." Larry thought about this for a minute before giving Ludwig a confused look. "Then what is it?"

Lemmy was about to speak up, but Ludwig silenced him with a raised finger, a shake of the head, and a death stare. Once Ludwig was sure that he would be quiet, he turned back to Larry.

"Tell you what. When it's your turn to switch bodies with me….YOU'LL FIND OUT!" With that, all three of them exited.