Chapter 25 Tripping all the Way

The gang members snickered like the three stooges. The paratroopa took a sip of his cherry soda before crinkling the can and tossing it to the side in a nonchalant manner. The goomba chortled, all without releasing his bite on the cigarette in his mouth. The sledge brother, meanwhile, was busy leaving graffiti marks on the castle wall. All three of them held themselves like mighty kings.

"Yeah, fellas, this is the life," the paratroopa said. He flapped his wings, which helped him rise to the sledge bro's level.

"Totally," the sledge bro said with his deep, booming voice.

The goomba smirked. "TeeheeheeheHEE! We're the most evil guys in this whole evil kingdom! We're bound to stay here for the rest of time."

"HEY!"

All three of the gang members blinked, exchanging confused looks with one another.

"Seriously?" the paratroopa asked. "Someone else is coming after us?"

The sledge bro rolled his eyes. "When will Bowser learn that this is our terf now?"

"I know," said the goomba. "Tsk tsk tsk."

"HEY NUMBSKULLS, LOOK THIS WAY!"

The gang members turned their heads. Funnily enough, all three of their heart beats skipped a beat when they saw who had called them. Despite that, they all put on a collective smirk.

"Oh wow. Look who we have here," the sledge bro said.

"Yeah." The paratroopa snickered as he faced the Koopalings."Hey losers! I think the auditions for Wimpiest Bosses Ever are down the street!" He burst into laughter, as did the other two.

Morton sniffed. "Oh look at that. They've heard of us."

Wendy just took a deep breath, puffed out her chest, and took a step forward. "Listen up, Blockheads. You've got a lot of nerve stepping onto castle property. So, why don't you get your butts out of here before we kick them into next week?"

The goomba snickered. "Yeah, I don't think you guys are capable of 'kicking' anything."

The paratroopa smirked. "I don't know about that, Gary. They probably kick themselves pretty well after they lose to Mario every month." This got another round of laughter from the trio.

Roy scrunched up his brow and stepped forward. "Okay. First off, we don't kidnap Peach every month. We do it every WEEK! Whatcha gotta say to that?"

Their laughter grew stronger. "Every week?" The paratroopa shook his head. "You must REALLY like getting your tails handed to you on a silver platter!"

Roy gritted his teeth. "That's not TRUE!"

The sledge brother snorted. "Oh. Is the platter gold then?" The other two laughed so hard they nearly fell to the ground.

Larry placed his hand on Roy's arm. "Don't let them get to you, big guy. They haven't seen our trump card yet."

Roy took some deep breaths. "You're right." He backed off, allowing Wendy to step back up to the plate. She grinned a cocky grin.

"You guys won't respect us? Alright, that's fine. Maybe you'll respect a special instead."

With that, she cleared the way, allowing Lemmy to take center stage. The way he carried himself, the way he walked, the expression he wore; it was exactly how and Ludwig rehearsed it. The oldest Koopaling beamed from his spot at the back of the group.

"It's like looking in a mirror," he said proudly.

The gang members froze, much to the Koopalings' delight. They exchanged glances, their nervousness as stinky as their sweat. Wendy grinned as she displayed the "oldest."

"Let me introduce you to Ludwig Vanessa…"

"AHEM!" Ludwig said.

Wendy chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry. Ludwig von Koopa."

"Yeah!" Lemmy exclaimed. He displayed his fists. "That's right! I'm Ludwig von Koopa! I'm important!"

Ludwig's face fell from proud to cringing. "No!"

Unfortunately, the gang members expressions went through the exact opposite transition; tey rose as they snickered. "Dude. What's up with his voice?"

Lemmy, despite a small yet visible crack in his facade, still stood strong. "You'd all better watch yourselves! I'm a special, which means I've got superpowers! And if you don't do what I say, then I'm gonna…do…stuff with them!"

Ludwig put his head in his hands. "No no no!" He shook his head. "I knew we should have covered what to say."

The gang members laughed. "Seriously!" said the paratroopa. "What is wrong with your voice; you sound like a garden gnome!"

More cracks appeared in Lemmy's expression. "That may be true…" He put the face back on. "But you're forgetting that…garden gnomes can be scary too!"

Ludwig sunk at least five inches into the ground. "Yep, yep. There goes my reputation; right down the drain."

The sledge bro seemed to agree, as he chuckled. "In what universe?"

"In…Dimension Four and Nine Eighths!" Lemmy exclaimed. "Where garden gnomes aid plants in the fight against the zombie apocalypse!"

Ludwig did an impression of an explosion. "Oh wow! Would you look at that! I actually DID end up losing my sanity before I turned thirty!" He glared at Lemmy's back. "Congratulations Lemmy, you've officially ascended to the level of prophet."

From right beside him, Morton flashed him a look. "Ludwig, calm down."

Ludwig gave him a look of his own. "Oh, I'm sorry if I'm not the biggest fan of this performance; I was promised something intimidating, not cringeworthy."

Morton's brow actually furrowed. He let out a breath before stepping forward. "Guys, it's not working. We need another plan."

"Like what?" Larry asked. "We can't exactly back down now!"

Wendy nodded and turned back toward Lemmy. "Lemmy, you have to show them who's boss. Turn it up a notch, give them threats, just please! Do something!"

Despite the sweat dripping down his face, Lemmy still nodded. "Alright." He faced the thugs again, displaying his fists. "You guys laugh now!" He took a step forward. "But will you be laughing when I burn your faces…" Before anyone knew it, Lemmy tripped. "AAHH!" He screamed as he fell face first into the dirt. The Koopalings cringed. The gang members laughed.

"Wow," said the paratroopa. He gulf clapped. "BRAVO!"

"You guys really think you can scare us with that pathetic display?" asked the goomba.

"I haven't seen such sad excuses for Koopas in my life!" said the sledge brother. "You didn't even need to have Mr. Shades but no Brains throw a punch!"

Roy growled. A vein throbbed his forehead, a particularly big and red one. Wendy was just about to cajole him, but she was unfortunately too late to the punch.

"YOU GUYS WANT A BEATING! WELL SO BE IT!"

He rushed forward with his fists out. Yelling at the top of his lungs as he charged, he was certain that he was going to turn these dunderheads' mugs royal purple.

"YAAAAAAAA..Oh?"

The sledge brother caught his fists before it even made contact with anyone's face. Roy stared at him in wide eyed surprise before swallowing a lump.

"I immediately regret this decision."

The sledge brother kicked him in the crotch so hard that he went flying through the air in an arc. He left a miniature crater when he landed. Roy groaned, dealing with both the circling stars and his bruised "special parts."

The gang laughed. "Well, that was easy," said the sledge bro. He sent a wicked grin to the rest of the group. "Who's next?"

Wendy inhaled. This was all her fault. This was her stupid idea, and now she had to pay the price for implementing it. Realizing this, she exhaled and got her rings out.

"Alright. You guys like to laugh?" She gave them a heated death stare. "Well let's see how well you can laugh with a broken jaw!"

She hurled her rings, one at the sledge brother and one at the goomba. In a blink and you'll miss moment, the paratroopa caught them and set both right back at her. They hit her right smack on both sides of her jaw. The koopa princess knelt down on the ground, both hands holding her face.

Larry stared at his sister in horror. "Man, these guys need to be taken down a peg." He turned to face the gang with a glare. "Luckily, I am a master when it comes to taking people down."

He got into his shell. Moving at speeds comparable to a lightning bolt, he hit all three of the gang members right in the face. When he exited his shell, he observed his handiwork with a confident grin.

"Oh heck yeah! I'm awesome!" He jumped up and down, victory dancing like he does when he just beat someone in Mario Kart. Unfortunately, his success proved to be short-lived when the sledge brother grabbed him by the mohawk.

Larry's eyes grew wide. "Uh…hello."

The sledge bro spun him around like a sling before letting him go. He flew a good twenty feet before faceplanting right on top of a very thick rock.

The sledge brother smirked as he dusted his hands off. "Okay. Three down…" he looked at the others. "Three to go."

Lemmy and Ludwig, their eyes wider than the sun, looked at Morton. "Morty, do something!" Lemmy whispered.

Morton shook. Considering that the sledge bro was able to take out Roy without much of an issue, his own confidence was pretty much nonexistent. His teeth chattered as the sledge bro approached.

"Oh. I just remembered!" He nervously wiped sweat off his brow. "I forgot to feed Toasty again; silly me!" He turned and bolted away.

The sledge bro snickered. "Coward." He leapt into the air, landing with a ground pound. The tremors stunned everyone, but they stunned Morton most importantly. While he was immobilized, the sledge brother punched him in the cheek, sending him flying into the castle wall. He groaned, gingerly touching the red bruise on his face.

All three gang members smirked. "Nice one Max!" The paratroopa said. All three of them faced the remaining two Koopalings. "Looks like it's just you two left."

Lemmy's wide eyed expression served as the window to his terrified soul. Ludwig wasn't doing much better. "What do we do?" He whispered. He looked at the goomba and paratroopa in front of him and the sledge brother behind him. "We're surrounded!"

Lemmy, surprisingly, seemed to be a little calm. "Ludwig," he whispered. "There's a smoke bomb in my hammerspace. Think you can find it?"

Ludwig slipped his hand into Lemmy's hammerspace. His heartbeat accelerated when he grasped the smoke bomb. "Got it!" He pulled it out just as the goomba chuckled.

"So. You guys want this to be quick or slow?"

Ludwig smirked. "Actually...I think we'll go with...NEITHER!" He threw the bomb to the ground. It was a powerful one too; it clouded everything within a five yard radius. Lemmy and Ludwig made their escape while the thugs were still coughing.