FIND HER: THE HUNT FOR ROLLINS

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: SVU or its characters. The following work is strictly fan fiction.

Story takes place several months after the Season 22 finale.

Note: There will be trigger warnings including kidnapping, rape, assault, etc. Please read to your own discretion.

Chapter 9: Support

Amanda sat uncomfortably at the edge of the chair, waiting for the nurse to come in. She glanced at a bag that had the chemise she'd been wearing when she was brought it. It had already been collected as evidence before she was changed into a hospital gown. She held the gown they'd asked her to wear tightly closed and stared at the floor. She didn't want to be there. She shouldn't have to be there. They were already trying to link Carl Clinton to several other rapes and murders, why did she have to be put through this? His attorney will try to pin his other victims on his father. Your rape kit and testimony will help make sure he doesn't go free. She heard Olivia's words in her head. She didn't want to testify. She didn't want to face him again. She was having a hard-enough time getting the image of Carl out of her mind. Any touch, any sound, she flinched feeling he was there. Olivia tried to convince her to get the rape kit done. If she chose not to testify, that was one thing. But if she chose not to get the rape kit done and changed her mind the evidence would be lost. Amanda knew she was right, but it didn't make it any easier.

She wasn't sure why but at the time, when Olivia offered to stay with her, she said yes. Was she too scared to be alone? Was it for moral support? She wasn't sure but a part of her was regretting her decision. She was still struggling knowing that her Captain had witnessed the first time Carl assaulted her. She knew she shouldn't, but she felt embarrassed knowing what'd she'd seen. What was even more so, was that she dreaded the moment Olivia would ask her to disclose what happened – every detail. She was surprised Olivia hadn't asked yet, but perhaps she was trying to give Amanda space to breathe – tackle one thing at a time.

"Amanda, you doing okay?" Olivia asked, placing a hand on her shoulder – noticing her silent tone.

"I don't know."

"That's alright. We just take it one step at a time. If you need a break, or need to stop just say so," Olivia gently said.

The women looked up as a nurse knocked before coming through the door with her assistant.

"Hi, sorry I'm late," she said as she approached them, looking at the chart in her hands. "You must be Amanda Rollins. I'm Tessa, I'll be conducting your exam. And who do we have accompanying you today?"

"Olivia Benson," she responded after the nurse had acknowledged her.

"Captain Benson? I've heard a lot about you. It's a pleasure," Nurse Tessa nodded to her before turning back to Amanda. "Alright, so before we start I'll explain-"

"I know how this works," Amanda answered sharply, cutting the nurse off before she looked down at her lap.

"Amanda is one of my detectives with SVU, so we are familiar with the procedures," Olivia said when she noticed the nurse surprised by her detective's swift response. Nurse Tessa looked from Olivia to Amanda and nodded.

"Alright," Nurse Tessa responded. "So, you know if at any point you want to stop, or you need a break let my assistant Amy or myself know. As we go through each procedure, we need you give consent. Understood?"

"Yes," Amanda responded.

"We will start by documenting your injuries. Can you start by removing your robe?"

Amanda took a deep sigh as if building up her courage to do so. Olivia took a step back to give the Nurse and her assistant room to work. She also wanted to give Amanda enough space but remain close enough should she need her.

Olivia did her best to keep a neutral expression as she wanted the camera flash. Amanda just looked away and stared at the wall as she held the rope lower. The bite marks on her neck were clearly visible, the parts where his teeth sank were now a dark red. Olivia made no reaction as she noticed Amanda also had marks on her chest that resembled the marks on her neck, had he bitten her there too? Her arms were covered in bruises, and she shifted the robe when they asked her to so that they could get photos of her sides. She uncomfortably tried to stay covered as they asked her to lift her gown as high as she could so they could get a photo of her thighs. She had some bruising on her inner thighs, but the largest and darkest parts were on her left thigh around the side and back. It was as though she had multiple bruises, one on top of the other. Shades of black, purple, blue, and red all merged together.

The nurse swapped Amanda's mouth before they took hand and began to collect any evidence that might be under her nails, and then her hair. She sat silently as they did their job, only speaking when she had to, anytime they asked to proceed.

Olivia noticed her tense as they asked her to lay back so they could do a vaginal examination.

"Amanda, you okay?" Olivia asked as the blonde just stared aimlessly. Olivia glanced at the Nurse who took a step back to give them a moment. Olivia walked towards Amanda and stood in front of her, catching her attention. "Amanda?"

"I can't," Amanda shook her head tensely as she shivered. "I, um."

"I know, it's a lot but they're almost done, and then we can go home. You can do this," Olivia paused as Amanda shook her head. Olivia took her hand and squeezed it. "You're safe okay? And I'm not going anywhere. I will be here the whole time."

Amanda looked at her, shaking. She stayed staring at her for a moment before she slowly began to lay back, Olivia helping her. Olivia stood next to the table, holding Amanda's hand as the blonde gripped her tightly. Olivia began to stroke her hair, trying to comfort her and calm her. She waited a minute before she nodded to the Nurse to proceed.

Olivia watched as Nurse Tessa rolled her chair back towards the table. She asked Amanda to place her heels on the footrests, and then to just gently drop her knees. She waited as Amanda slowly did as she was told. Before she did anything, she asked Amanda again if she consented, having to repeat her question when Amanda didn't answer the first time. Finally, she said yes.

Olivia felt Amanda's hand tighten and saw her eyes close as she felt the Nurse's hand touch her thigh.

"Amanda, you're going to feel some pressure okay?" Nurse Tessa said before she did anything. "You have a lot of bruising so it's going to hurt a little. Let me know if you're not okay."

Olivia nodded to Tessa when she saw Amanda shake her head to acknowledge what she said. Amanda was keeping her eyes bolted shut, as if it would shield her from it all. Olivia kept her grip tight, and placed her other hand on Amanda's shoulder.

She gave her a squeeze as Amanda let out a small cry of pain as she felt the pressure of the speculum. Olivia tried to steady her as she saw Amanda shake, and her back arch up in pain.

"You're doing great, Amanda," the Nurse said. "I'm almost done."

Amanda let out a small cry of relief when she felt the nurse finish. Olivia stroked her arm to calm her. She nodded to Amanda, offering support and encouragement as the blonde looked up her as if searching for something to emotionally hold onto. Olivia was her rock and was determined to continue to be. She could see the exhaustion in Amanda's eyes. She had barely slept in the hospital. It'd been less than six hours since they'd found her and brought her in. She had been so weak she passed out on the way in. She'd barely slept, and there she was – using everything she had to make it through an invasive procedure.

Her Doctor had tried to argue that it was in Amanda's best interest to stay the night to be monitored, and Olivia agreed – but she knew Amanda wouldn't. She'd been there. If she were Amanda she'd want to go home too. She felt relieved Amanda had agreed to the rape kit. She was worried the blonde wouldn't concern and it would be too late, but she did it. She made it. After everything Amanda went through with Carl, and now the pain of this, she deserved to be able to go home, shower, and rest in her own bed.

Olivia helped Amanda sit up when she was ready. She held onto her arm, sensing her friend was a bit unsteady. Amanda took the pills the nurse gave her and the glass of water.

"Thank you," Olivia said as they left the room to give them some privacy. She turned to Amanda who sighed, and popped the pills in her mouth before taking a swig of water. Immediately, as soon as she did, Olivia grabbed the garbage beside her and held it for Amanda as she began to throw up. She began to rub her back as Amanda continue to puke. She waited a few minutes to make sure she was finished before she placed the can down and grabbed her a tissue to wipe her mouth. "Are you okay?"

"I don't feel well," Amanda responded honestly.

"Maybe you should stay the night, just in case."

"No," Amanda shook her head firmly. "I want to go home. Please just take me home, Liv."

Olivia nodded. She was certain she would get more rest there than in a hospital bed. Olivia felt thankful Amanda agreed to let her be the one to stay. She could spend the night checking on her, knowing personally that she was okay or able to tend to her as she needed. Olivia was worried for her and didn't want to take her eyes off of her. She watched as Amanda sat before her pale, sick, and shaky. She needed to feel safe and rest.

"Okay," Olivia said, as she helped Amanda off the table. "Let's get you home."