CHAPTER XVIII
NEW HANOVER, JUNE 9TH 1900
The weather had turned pale, with a heavy overcast reigning over the land. Rain had drizzled onto the glass windows of the carriage, but stopped just as soon as it had began. West Elizabeth was soon out of sight, and the weather had served as a rather unfriendly farewell.
Actually getting to Riggs Station however, and using the tickets from David to board the locomotive had been an easy ordeal. Almost as if life had decided to give the trio at least one break after the tough hardships of that morning as well as the previous two days.
With their horses stabled comfortably in one of the far end carriages, Sawyer, Vic and Ellie had all taken their seats together on the train in a relatively empty carriage. Other than them, there were only four other passengers, all seated separately across the rail-car, which was nice. If Vic or Sawyer wanted to discuss the events bound to take place within Saint Denis, then it served better to talk it over in as little company as possible.
The young huntress had never been on a train before, and ever since seeing it arrive on the station platform all the way to taking her seat, had been in absolute awe of it's size and structure. Ellie had only ever ridden horses for most of her life, with the occasional journey on a horse carriage with her Father or Vic. Never before had she seen anything remotely like the train, with it's high chimney constantly blowing out black fog and the long, far stretching line of carriages, each holding different amounts of strangers, of whom none seemed as astonished as she was.
"Do the folks around here get on these thing's a lot?!" She'd asked Vic earlier, as she walked down the carriage's aisle.
Vic had nodded, "Yup, every day. How a lot of the people here get themselves around."
"How come we don't got 'em back home?"
"We do, just ain't as common. I guess New Austin ain't quite caught up yet with the rest of the country." Vic had replied, exhaling smoke, "Which... Gotta admit, I'm thankful for."
Since the the train had jolted itself into movement and had set off far down the tracks, Ellie's eyes had not stopped gazing out of the windows, seeing the world move by like she hadn't seen it before. She was enthralled and it was nice to see, the outlaw next to her thought.
The girl and Sawyer sat together on one row, with Vic sitting alone on the seats behind them. The lawman took up two seats, comfortably extending his legs and feet across the pleasant, soft, patterned seats. All rows were made up of only two chairs each, all facing the same direction that the train was going. After awhile, Vic rested his head back on the window and closed his eyes. The journey to Saint Denis would likely be a few hours, so he wanted to catch up on as much sleep as he could.
Sawyer, on the other hand, didn't really feel that tired anymore. Now that the group were on the road to Saint Denis, and possibly only hours from being face to face with Roland, the outlaw couldn't rest his mind to that degree. Instead, he held his Pump-Action shotgun and started to clean it with some gun oil and a cloth.
Ellie still gazed out of the window at the wide expanse of trees and hills. Even in the grim and miserable overcast did New Hanover look beautiful. The huntress found the stark contrast between the lush greenery seen there and the more barren, sun-scorched brownness of home so interesting. She was amazed at how different the world could look, even when she was still, at least on paper, close to where she belonged.
"This shit is so fuckin' amazin'" She said, looking round at Sawyer.
The outlaw glanced at her briefly and chuckled, bringing a huge smirk out of Ellie for once rather than a fiery outburst.
"What?" She asked.
Sawyer just shook his head, "Nothin'... It's just funny is all."
"What is?" Ellie asked again, with more haste.
"Just... Seein' someone get on a train for the first time." He said with a grin, "Somethin' so small, but so fuckin' nice."
Ellie scoffed, "You don't think these thing's are pretty fuckin' incredible?"
"'Course I do. I remember gettin' on one for the first time myself." Sawyer said, wiping the shotgun, "Still prefer horses, though. More reliable, and more loyal. Much sooner place my money on Neigan than some fella in a boiler suit, a mile ahead."
The girl smiled and laughed with Sawyer again, "So, what're you sayin'? Neigan's the thing you trust the most?"
After sighing, the outlaw looked her in the eye and nodded nonchalantly, which took her by surprise. She had only been joking with him, but didn't expect the fella to admit that his own horse was the only loyal companion he thought he had in his life. Ellie's face showed clear confusion and surprise.
"Really? You ain't serious." The huntress said, with unfounded certainty.
Sawyer kept nodding and smiling, "I'm as serious about that as Vic is about the law."
"That's fuckin' depressin' ain't it?"
"If you wanna look at it a certain way, I guess it is." Sawyer said, "But I look at it my own way."
"A horse can't stab you in the back?" Ellie asked, "That the way you look at it?"
Sawyer didn't say anything back. Instead he took the few moments of silence to finish cleaning the shotgun. Afterwards, he loaded it with shells and laid it across his lap. Only then did he physically turn to Ellie.
"The way I look at it is this... That horse is one of the only things that ain't let me down in this god forsaken life of mine." Said the outlaw, "The other? Probably just myself."
Ellie's eyes then widened into a glare "You forgettin' me and Vic? 'Cause we ain't plannin' on lettin' you down. You expectin' us to?"
Sawyer laughed again, "Nah, I never said that, Ellie... And don't worry, I ain't tryin' to make some deep statement about fuckin' horses and loyalty. Was just statin' a point. So far, I ain't ever been given the best evidence to trust that many folks."
"Well then who exactly do you really trust, Sawyer?" She asked, "If not just yourself and a fuckin' horse?"
"I trust what matters." Sawyer then stared back, "That's my answer."
"Well... Don't we fuckin' matter to you?" Ellie asked, her face starting to scrunch.
"Sure, more than most." Sawyer said, "But hell, I do expect to be cut loose and forgotten once this is all fuckin' over."
The girl's face turned from anger to stern, "And why's that? Just 'cause you don't think much of yourself? Get the fuck over it."
Sawyer's face twisted and he lent back in his seat, dumbfounded at such a remark being made by a girl of her age. Sure, she was an adult, but still younger than he was, and had a real knack for finding the sensitive spot on him. The outlaw wanted to reply but couldn't think of anything to say at first.
"I don't exactly follow." He said blankly.
"We're your fuckin' friends, Sawyer." Ellie said, "And from all the stories you tell, we're the only actual ones you've ever had."
Sawyer kept listening as the girl continued.
"Stop lookin' down on yourself, it's fuckin' pathetic." Ellie said, "You're a'ight, and I know it... Obviously Vic does too, since you're the only damn criminal I've ever seen that he ain't fuckin' strangled or shot."
The young fugitive could hardly take such nice comments, to the point he had to look away, to his shoes, his shotgun, anywhere that wasn't Ellie. Even she noticed he couldn't accept what she was saying, but that wasn't going to stop her.
"Just because you done some bad things, don't make you a bad guy. Not in my books, anyway." The huntress said, "So please, pull your head outer your stubborn ass and remember, you do have some worth, a'ight?"
Sawyer eventually looked back to his friend with a sly smirk, "So that's uh... Depressing, pathetic, criminal and stubborn... You wanna rip me another one, or are you all done?"
The New Austin girl's eyes widened with fury. It was almost as if Sawyer wasn't taking her seriously at a time that she was being so truthful.
The two then just sat, somberly glaring at one another for a few moments, letting the moving train rock their bodies around slightly. Eventually, as both had expected, they started to grin and laugh again. Neither could seem to really get angry at the other, as much as Ellie maybe wanted to at times. Sawyer did have a tendency now and again to be sarcastic, but she managed to tolerate it. Just.
"You can be fuckin' annoyin' you know that?" Ellie said, grinning and shaking her head.
"Been told." Sawyer replied, "But don't hold it against me."
"I'll try not to."
The outlaw then nodded his head in gratitude, before unholstering his Schofield revolver and cleaning that gun too. Ellie watched him do it with great interest. She'd never seen Vic clean his LeMat's, but then again they were renowned for their reliability.
As she watched the young fugitive clean the revolver and appear to be in deep thought, she felt she needed to add something.
"How 'bout you stop holdin' thing's against yourself too then, huh?" She asked, with a stubborn smile.
Sawyer stopped mid clean, sighed again, and looked at the girl, "I'll try not to."
"Good, thank you." The young huntress then said gratefully, before leaning forward and kissing the outlaw on the cheek.
The kiss took Sawyer by surprise, almost startling the outlaw. He stopped cleaning the revolver again and looked across at Ellie with a very blank expression. Words were flying around his head, but none were making their way to the mouth. What did she mean by doing that? He thought. Especially with Vic sitting just behind them?
"Anyhow, we probably got a long ways to go yet before we get to your fuckin' hometown." Ellie then said, breaking the silence and putting her hat against the window, "I'm gonna get myself some rest. Enjoy the ride, Sawyer."
The outlaw was still staring at the girl plainly, nodding. It took a good few minutes before the young renegade continued cleaning his firearm, which at that point took much longer to do than it usually would have.
That girl seemed to see through all of the cracks in people, Sawyer thought. No lie, whether it be to himself or others, seemed to get past her. He couldn't comprehend how she managed to do that. Maybe it was her daddy's bartering instincts, since Vic had mentioned her old man being a trading merchant. Or maybe it was even Vic himself, teaching her to spot liars, given he had to do it on the daily. Still, none of that explained the kiss.
Sawyer had been with women before, but only in saloon rooms, drunk on whiskey. No girl had ever kissed him soberly and without exchanging cash first, so it had really taking him off guard. It wasn't something he needed, not while his mind was consumed with other things, so he soon fought off the thought about the peck on his cheek and distracted himself with everything else.
Soon another hour had passed calmly, the train was many more miles down the tracks and the land outside started to change. The green fields were becoming more yellowish and flat. Chances were, the train was finally crossing the border and into the swampy marshes of Lemoyne, a treacherous and yet lush area. The outlaw had spent many a time in his youth running through those marshes, looking out for alligators and trying to collect rare bird eggs. It was a shame that Ellie and Vic were sleeping, he thought, since they both might've enjoyed the view.
The sun then started to break through the grey clouds and almost blind Sawyer as he sat alone. He pulled his duster cap down a little further to block the powerful light from his eyes. Everyone else in the cart seemed to be napping other than him. One stranger in the bottom corner was even snoring peacefully. Sawyer longed for a restful, uninterrupted sleep once in a while, but it still wasn't the time. He just continued cleaning anything he had on him that could be cleaned. In the event he had to use any of it, he didn't want to be let down.
Once he'd polished everything, including his knife, he sat and did nothing but think. About Roland, about the bank, about Vic, about the future and about Ellie. The outlaw couldn't settle his ever active mind.
Out of sheer boredom, Sawyer began to imagine what it was going to be like to finally put Roland Payne to rest. Was it going to be easy? Or was it going to be hard? Deep down, he knew it would probably be the latter. Having seen how dangerous the man was and how easy he found butchering people, Sawyer knew they were going to have to tread very lightly. Still, despite that, he welcomed any thoughts of killing him. The idea of beating him to a pulp, as he had done to Sawyer. Throttling him, as he had done to innocents. Shooting him point-blank, as he had watched Roland do to far too many.
Before those obsessive thoughts could take much of strong hold on him, Sawyer distracted himself again and began trying to think of better things. Things that prevented him from feeling so hateful of the world and the hands he'd been dealt through life. The young fugitive thought about Vic, he thought about Ellie and mainly of how accepting they'd both been of him. Sure, Vic had aimed a gun at Sawyer twice, but the reasons were understandable. Deep down, Sawyer knew that he and Vic were on the same page.
Nobody though, as far as the outlaw could recall, had ever given such warmth and acceptance like Ellie had. Since meeting her, the girl had shown extraordinary affection and kindness. She'd never looked down at him, or felt she was better than him. And she seemed to completely disregard everything that Sawyer had done up until that point. The stuff she knew about anyways, he thought. The girl had even admitted, rather touchingly, that she and the deputy truly were his friends. And that was something he would never forget.
As he then looked at Ellie as she slept peacefully, Sawyer wanted to thank her in some way. Since she was sleeping, words weren't going to cut it, and as the young huntress had done it to him first, the outlaw felt he should return the gesture. Slowly and gently he lent down to kiss her cheek too, yet his lips didn't make it all the way there, as the outlaw became startled by a certain sound. A lighting match.
Vic was now awake and had already lit a fresh cigarette before wafting the match, extinguishing the tiny flame. The lawman also wafted his white shirt's collar, sweating from the change in temperature now that they were further south. Sawyer could see the visible sweat patches on his dark-blue coat.
"Sawyer." The lawman greeted his friend, rubbing the bags under his eyes.
"Vic." The outlaw said, "Ain't gonna be too long now. We're in Lemoyne, so it should be another hour, max."
Vic took a big drag, "Lemoyne, huh? Is that why this carriage feels so fuckin' hot?"
"More than likely." Sawyer replied, "Hotter than New Austin?"
Vic blew air from his lips, "Feels like it, at least in here."
Soon, the deputy noticed that Ellie was sleeping soundly against the window. She was snoring ever so faintly, just like she had done the night before.
"She been sleepin' long?" He asked the outlaw.
"'Bout an hour. Must need it."
Vic rubbed his eyes again, "I know I fuckin' did."
The outlaw came to the conclusion that if Vic hadn't said anything by now, he clearly hadn't noticed seen Ellie kiss him. And consequently, it mean't he also didn't notice that the outlaw had also went to gently peck her cheek too. Sawyer was more than fine with that, since if there was any danger around such an action, it was the deputy.
"You sleep a'ight?" Sawyer then asked.
"As good as I could on a fuckin' train." Vic said, "How 'bout you?"
Sawyer shook his head, "Ain't slept. Too busy thinkin'."
"Thinkin' what?"
"About everythin', and how it's all gonna play out when we get there, you know?"
Vic leaned onto the back of Sawyer and Ellie's row, "We're gonna manage, a'ight? Just like we've done so far. We're after Roland and we're gonna get him."
"We might be after Roland, but there's more than just him to worry about, Vic." Sawyer said, "You thought anymore about the fuckin' Pinkerton that's on our asses?"
Vic sighed and leaned back again into his own chairs. Agent Wilson was on Vic's mind and had been quite a lot since he'd disappeared into the darkness the previous night. The lawman had simply just tried to block him out, since he couldn't think of any way to deal with him yet.
"You just let me handle Wilson, kid." Vic told the outlaw rather sternly, "He ain't your problem, a'ight?"
Sawyer scoffed, "Damn right he ain't. 'Cause if he was, I'd have put a fuckin' bullet between his eyes long ago and been done with it."
"We ain't killin' law men." Vic said quietly, "Thought we agreed on that."
"Fair enough, I ain't sayin' we should." Sawyer whispered, "But if you can think of a better solution, I'm all ears."
Vic took another drag of his smoke, "You reckon he's gonna be in Saint Denis?"
"Absolutely, that slimy motherfucker's on Roland's side, remember? And he's gonna be there for his fuckin' cut of the robbery." Sawyer replied, his voice still low.
"Look, I'll handle it." Vic replied quietly after thinking for a moment, "If the time comes, I'll handle it."
The outlaw leaned forward, "And how exactly do you plan on doin' that?"
"I'll think of somethin'."
The outlaw sighed again, "Wish I had your confidence, Deputy."
"Well you oughta get some shut-eye, kid. That might help." Vic said, "Was a long night last night and could be an even longer evenin' today. And you ain't hardly slept for a fuckin' minute."
The outlaw winced and shook his head again, "I don't sleep a lot anyways, Vic... And even when I do, I dream of killin' him. Always serves as a good way to wake up disappointed."
Taking another puff of the smoke, Vic sat up and leaned back on Sawyer and Ellie's row again. The deputy and the outlaw were now within a real close earshot of each other.
"You let it get to you that much, huh?" The deputy asked, his voice low.
The fugitive nodded once, looking angry, "Just want that piece of shit dead."
"And he's gonna die." Vic then assured him, "Make no mistake."
Sawyer kept nodding, agreeing with what the deputy was saying. He knew Vic was right, but it didn't stop him being so impatient. The thought of getting revenge was becoming all too consuming on Sawyer's mind and the lawman could see that.
"How'd you even come to be on the same fuckin' road as him, kid?" Vic asked, taking another drag, "'Cause from where I've stood the last few days, you don't seem the type to ride alongside killers and thieves."
"If I'm gonna tell you that story, Vic... I'm gonna need a smoke."
Hearing the outlaws request, Vic promptly pulled out a fresh cigarette and offered it to him. Sawyer took the smoke and used his own matches to light it. Before continuing on, the younger man took a big drag and held it in for longer than usual, to the point that the smoke didn't even seem come back out when he exhaled.
"He was uh... In chains. You know, in one of those prison wagons." Sawyer said, "I was ridin' with a few thugs from Rhodes. Same shit as usual, robbin', pillagin' old folks on the trail."
"And you did that stuff too?" Vic then asked.
Sawyer then turned properly to his friend and winced hard, "Ain't sure this is the right fuckin' time to pass judgments, deputy."
The lawman just raised a hand, nodded his head and backed off. He hadn't actually been judging Sawyer or making any assumptions at all, but clearly the topic at hand was a sensitive one to his younger companion, so he respected it and stopped talking.
"Anyhow, one mornin' we came up on this prison wagon. And all the fella's, includin' me at the time, didn't really like the concept around men of the law. No offence."
Vic finished his smoke and crushed the ember of his boot, "None taken."
"In the cage at the back, if I recall right, there was three prisoners." Sawyer said, "All in chains and those stupid fuckin' black and white clothes."
"You and the boys decided to free 'em all?" Vic then asked, through power of deduction.
Sawyer puffed away at his cigarette, nodding as he did.
"You know how it is... Criminals don't like the old idea of other criminals bein' punished by the Marshall's." Sawyer said with a grin, "So yeah, the guys made quick work of the law men first and then we broke the lock of the cage and let the fuckers out."
"And Roland was one of 'em." Vic said, knowingly.
"Yup... First thing he did was snap one of the other prisoner's necks." Sawyer then admitted, "Apparently he'd owed Roland a lot of cash. Lord knows what for."
Since there was still time to kill, Vic sparked up another smoke. He then soon found that he was running low on cigarettes, so he was going to have to ration them until they got to Saint Denis. Once the fresh smoke was placed between his lips, he let the outlaw continue.
"For a few hours after, Roland rode with us, on the back of my fuckin' horse." Sawyer said, "That's how me and him got talkin', you know? About how the guys I was already ridin' with were assholes."
"And you agreed with that?" Vic asked.
"Yes I fuckin' did, they were assholes. But I didn't know yet that the guy I was makin' a deal with was worse than any of 'em." Sawyer replied, before dragging his cigarette to the end.
"Made a deal? How d'ya mean?" Vic then asked again.
Sawyer then crushed out the ember of his own smoke with his own boot before throwing the butt in a corner of the carriage.
"We kill the assholes from Rhodes, loot their shit and then ride on together... That deal." Sawyer said, his voice grim, "I guess we both thought we'd have a better chance if it were just the two of us instead of a huge fuckin' gang."
"Better chance at what?" Vic asked, "What exactly was the fuckin' goal?"
The young outlaw just shrugged his shoulders, "Money?... A better life somewhere else?... That's what my goal was anyway. But Roland... He had different plans. At first though, he did seem like a decent ally to have on my side after I watched him butcher all the fella's I'd been ridin' with in a fuckin' matter of seconds."
Vic became surprised at the way Sawyer was describing Roland. The deputy had seen first-hand how dangerous and unpredictable the man had seemed that night in the Cumberland Forest, but the outlaw seemed to be describing him as a real monster with, dare he say it, skills.
"Once they were dead and we'd taken their things, Roland and I just started travellin'." Sawyer said, "At first, I kinda liked the guy. He took no bullshit from anyone out there. I had more money in my satchel than I'd ever fuckin' had before."
"But I also had more Marshall's, Deputy's and any person who owned a gun after my ass than ever before." The outlaw continued, "He just kept... Killin' and killin' and killin'. There weren't no motive to it... Nothin' to gain... Just blood."
Vic stared at the younger fella ominously. He wasn't acting. It wasn't melodrama. As a lawman, Vic had seen liars and deceivers for as long as he could remember. But Sawyer wasn't one of them.
"Everythin' I told you back in the Valentine saloon was true, Vic." Sawyer said, feeling he had to assure, "Roland Payne will not hesitate to shoot me, you or even Ellie if he wanted to."
The deputy then gave the girl a quick and careful glance. The idea of anyone hurting her was enraging to him. It seemed that Sawyer was managing to spread his abhorrence for Roland to Vic himself.
"But believe me... If he has the time and the place... He wouldn't shoot any of us..." Sawyer said slowly, "The man's got a taste for slow pain and torture. Just look at my fuckin' face."
It was true, Sawyer's face was still reddish and bruised from the hit Roland had give him with his own Schofield. His lip was also still bruised and blistered badly. Vic kept listening, wanting to know as much about Roland Payne as he could before they were to inevitably come face to face with him.
The young fugitive then leaned closer, "He murdered a helpless woman and her fuckin' son. The boy couldn't have been more than five years old, if that. And when I woke up, the man who found me told me... That Roland had shot the boy... In his stomach."
The lawman didn't even blink, his face was so serious and calm. He didn't know Roland well at all, only that he was a criminal who had killed two of his closest fellow deputies. He was a name to go and kill. But now, with Sawyer there to give more context, it was starting to dawn on the maverick lawman just how dangerous he was.
"That's a goddman painful way to die for anybody, let alone a fuckin' kid." Sawyer said through gritted teeth, "But that's what Roland decided to put that little boy through. He doesn't make it quick... Unless he has to."
Vic and Sawyer's eyes were locked as the outlaw spoke. If the young outlaw had done anything right, it was make Vic want Roland dead almost as much as he did. But alas, it didn't really seem like anyone could want that man dead as much as Sawyer did. Vic could see the look in his eyes. There was real, pure hatred there and almost a need to kill.
"That is who we're dealin' with." Sawyer whispered, "That is why I want that man dead, no matter what the cost."
The deputy had to ask, "Even if the cost is yourself?"
It took a long silent minute before Sawyer turned back to Vic with an answer. The outlaw inspected the train, it's other passengers, the view through the window and finally to Ellie, who was still sleeping soundly.
"Maybe."
Upon finishing his tale and speech, Sawyer let out a huge sigh of relief. Like he'd gotten something out that had been nesting for a long, long time. He lay back casually on his seat of the train and kept on breathing heavily, trying to control the feeling in his gut.
Vic eventually did the same. There was no need to speak or do anything else. Instead he felt it was a good idea to let the outlaw settle again and give him some space. If nothing else, the lawman definitely had the upmost respect for his younger friend, who was seemingly one of the most honest men he'd ever met, despite whatever past he held.
For the remainder of the journey, neither Sawyer or Vic said anything. They were both just waiting calmly. Waiting to get to Saint Denis, waiting to get to the bank and waiting to finally get to Roland Payne.