CHAPTA FYVE – HERE THE DRAGON GOES AGAIN

AN: I AM SU SORRY I RLLY DO WANNA STAY FRIENDS COS YOU LIKE RLLY GET ME HOE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHSHASAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH – SIMPLE BEES

The urple cloud dississiptaed and underneath the purple stuff was Duchess Doris Doris Rumbridge. On her knee was her famous ben gaul cat – Charlie Sheen – he famously had srs drug problem, he was snorting a fat line o coke off her nee caps. Charly Sheen was wearing a suite of armor, likely fashuned from da eyebrows of fallen giants.

"Oi!" I hollowed at Doris Rumbitch "We are here to join da dargon hunt!"

She gapsed at us, we were being su rude in her court room and she snarled like a fat pig. As she wuz snarling she kpet storking Carlie Sheen (an: perv)

"Charlie Sheen having pronlems with copey us amo8nts of crack?!/!?/" cliché that nate.

Doris was more fofedned now.

"why do u want da dragon hunt? I dnt even no who u r!1" She shooted arngirtlrttku,

I puzzled sexily "He has stollen my glasses nd I knead to get dem back bcos eljiah says I am do cheesen one nd alice says I have to find da trufe" (AN: SPOILERSSSSSS MATE!)

Doris Rumbridge cackled. Fucking stupud witch. Suedcitvelu7.

"No!" she screamed. And suddenly her I's were full of rage SHADOW LEGENDS (buy it now) "I du kno who u are! Ma spies reported to me dat u were talking to da well hawt goffik guy who lookin like Swan Masterchief in da shop where dey sell all dose berries!"

I tried to lie to her.

"I did nut hgo into dat shop!"

"You fookin did too! I can see a massive bouqet of berries in ur hand yu stupid fucking lying slag go fook yourself and ur mum!"

I was defeat.

"Fine. But I dnt want to slep with him – honestly it wud never work, I am prep, ne he is goffik af."

Doris slowly considered. I fought: omfg what if da only reason dat swan medlens did nut want to fuk me was bcos he was a ctually only a gay and not a bye sex well, bcos dat meant he wud only fook boys and not gals like me. It made me sad. But den I kinda understood and suddenly I was nut anger any more. But then my cat died!

Charlie Sheen collapse.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Scremed Dumbelsag, Alice, ELjiaj and Doris Rumscuttle.

"It must have been da dargon's dark magic skillz!" I blowed.

"Erm ah god!" Doris jazzed "U are do chosen one plz save ma cat! Charly Shin ois da love ouv my life derpressing life nd he is the only happiness wi will ever find."

I puzzled in my earlobes.

"ONLY IF U LET ME JPIN DAR DARGON HUNT SU I CAN FIND MUH GLASSES AND SEE DA TRUF!"

"FINE FOOKIN WHATEVER just save muh cat baby seexy!" She shouted sexily, as she nibbled on her elbows.

Dumblhore incapapiteadd a smell in his wand, and it turned in2 a deafvibrator. Then I ran over 2 da cat and swiped it off dorri's knee and smelled it happily. It wuz dead. I put it on da floor.

-hopital scene – dis is srs mate1121211111-

"Eljiajaja gto get me a duck, a horn, a plunger, a scalpel, 7ft of industry-graded iron cooper wire, some rupe, and finally a glass of sweet lemonade – dat just 4 me am famished"

Eljia said cloche stupid fucking bastrd and ran off into da casdtle reooms looking 4 the stuff I asked him 4. Den I turned to da cat, Charlie Sheen face was on fire. I put da defibbywibby on him and he started vibrating like fooking crazy, and then flie returned to his eyes. And instantly he snorted another gram o crack off doris rumbridge's left tit. He died again from da drugs (Dun do drugs cidz), but alice told me dat she had seen a bision of da future in witch da cat was living so I bought him back 2 life to fullfilll da fututure.

"Now we can join the dragonic hunt?" I looked at Doris with expectation in my face.

Sge nodded although was dsissapoint. I dnt think she licked me n ma friends. Den, happy as spencer Stevenson, me alice eljiahaha and da bucket of berries left the room.

"GO TO DA FRONT GATE AND SEE THE CAPTAIN OF DA DRAGON HUNT – Cher from Mammia 2: Here we GO again! AHAHAHHAA GEDDIT HERE WO GO AWAY!"

OKE I SAID, AND WE WENT THERE.

In da courtyard, I suddenly heard a deep contraolto voice echoing over da branches of lemon ;eaves. It reminded me of da meal I wanted with ma unc katswiggy nevergrown. I said eljiah u bttr still come and he just cried.

"FERNANDO. CAN U HEAR DA DRUMS:?" Cher paced up da stairs towards a big statoo of a man who I gess wuz called fern an he.

Three hours later, filled wiv rustling noises from all da ofookin tinfoil she had on her arsese, she resached da stachoo and stroked its face.

"Hello I am here, Doris –" Cher cutted me off, and then Alice did as well.

"I no who u are – Doris told me u was coming" Cher had a voice on her.

"I have had a vision of u." Alice shooted at Cher from Mammia 2, and Dumblyswag gapsed.

"Oh that's lovely child, wut is it?" Cher puzzled at Alice.

Cher turned as if scrayed.

"When I live on, at da end of da world, when da dargons and salamanders have swallowed all o da sun's fire and da great green sea serpent, Nagaschwitx has spun around the dead sun forty-one times and da world descends into darkness, you will exist on with me."

"Oke that's great!" Cher smelled happily. "But back 2 da task at hand… it's a vital one… … … … …. … … … … .. … … ….. … ….. …. … .. . ."