Chapta 9 – robster

AN: HONSLEE NAH FOOKIN QUANTINE is making me deoressed as shiz. Ma lyf is a steaming pile of grab baggage – and honestly if anyone cares bout ma life den just fook off, I wanna be sad in a hol in da grund. Bye beaches. Enjoy da chapta.

Shawn mednes was still behind da counter. He wandered ova 2 me and h aksed me whay I wonted. And he aksed me wot I wanted.

"I cried." I cried into his shudder "I want sum nightcock berries – they are 4 ma new frend she lives in da forst and she has da heart of stoen" I wuznt rlly meant to tell ppl bout dis but fook it no one gives a shit, shawn mangle is the love of dumblyspunk's life anyway "But dnt tell anyone I said dat oderwize cher will be angry at me."

"I'm more of a maddomma fan myself tbh." Swank replied.

I drove my knife deeper into his bare chest. Twisti g it. How dare he disrespect my kween like dat. She would kill him for dis. But I would kill him first.

"RHAGJHAASGIJAGAGFIAFGU" He spurted as I stabbed. Then I stopped. "I'm sorry" I wishepred sexily, and he wept into my neck as his chest bled. I patted him on da back, and alice ghosted around the place like a fucking plotyghast swinging her tits around.

"Anyway how is ur uncle LlamaSweat ConckleDick?"

"He died last night." I shouted arngrily, beating my chest and pounding my chest with ym fists and finers like tarzan in that film (cant rememver da film name lol)

"Oh I'm so sorry." Swan sobbed.

"It's oke he'll get better." I reply.

"dat is good."

"So…" the berries, I aksed again, and this time shave meminge gave me another bucket of them. But this time he said he was gonna charge me for them. I stuck ma fiddly munger up at him for being a goff and charging me – but den I stopped cos am a prep and preps are well nice ppl (btw readers: have u listened to taylor swift's new album folklore? It's absoloute gold, album of the year, all the haters can go fuck demselves, its amazing, like legit I cri – enjoy it. Bitch)

I hugged my bucket of berries, and then lobbed them at eljiajaja head and he caught them in between his noses luckily.

"CLICHEEBEAVSPB. THROW" I DKNT LIKE DAT GAM.

Alice came and stroked my back. As she slowly slipped her funger in my ass, I wimpered like a ummmm…. I wimpered like a … hmhmhmhm…. … … … do ya want me to come up with somet foe that? Awhhh um….. …. … I wimpered like a … … … … … … like a baby in the soft moonlight of the night. Hmhmhmhmmhmhm eheheheheh.

Alice told me that we had better go back to mcgonacum soon before it was dark because.

"I said why/"

"plot, not gunna say." She squealed.

We left da city, and just outside the gates we found mcgonacaoll's house, under the brifge with a big sign on it saying mcgonk's house. Elijaha screamed that we were stupid 4 getting lost b4 so I gutted the bitch like a fish and chucked him in hellfire. He would evenchlley recover.

We entered her house, and she was there – but not for long!1111!111 soon she was not there, but the heart of stoen was sat on her bed wiv a note that said plz take da hart of stomp bcos I dnt want it no more. Giv it to dat supid bitch cher. Tell he I hated her last alnum. We lef tht berries and then headed back to cher.

Cher was leaning against a blue wall in a corner of the castle, with some bricks on one side and den da other side was just a plain ass sea looking thing. Her hair was all big n black n frizzy. N she had pink eyelids and eye-surrounding area. She looked just like Cher from her self titled album Cher from her self titled album Cher from her eponymous album Cher from her eponymous LP Cher from her self titled LP Cher. From 1986.

She suz also wearing a hawt b;ack leather jackit with some jewels on it.

"HELLO!" She bellowed like a bison on crack. "DO HAVE DA HEART OF STONES?"

"I DO." Alice said, but she was lying because I had it not her. Stupid twat.

I picked a pebble from by her veet and handit it to her. Here u go. U lie – she speat.

I do not lie. Iam the truth.

She spat in my eyes and I cried

" ia m lying. Dat is no da herat of stone. It is here instead!"

I lifted the true heart from my pocket and it glowed like fire. Her eyes lit up and she saw it.

"… … … … Do You believe in life after love?" She questioned

"What?" My eye was a game of monopoly?

"Sorry. Nothing." She took the rock from me "This is not the heart of stoen/2

"WHAT?1!?1?!1?1?1?/!?" I erupted, and a volcano erupted behunhind.

"yes dis Is actually aother album of mine – dis is Bittersweet White Light from 1973… confuse."

She threw it over her shoulder.

"There is something else you must know… come to da castle tonight…

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