A/N: Okay, so I've fallen very deep back into the rabbit hole of all things One Tree Hill, and I'm really missing my little, Baby Ava. So...*drum roll* I think, I think I'm going to start writing a story where Ava was raised with Nathan in Dan's household. I want to see just how much of Ava's personality is a direct result of her environment.
Warning: It gets a little heavy towards the end of the chapter, nothing brutal, but just be warned. I'll be real with you, Ava is kind of losing it.
There is a brief panic attack.
Chapter Five:
"We missed you at the game tonight." Q told Ava. "First game of the season and I didn't have my girl cheering me on. What's up with that?"
"I'm really sorry about all that. I got locked in the library for the entire game." Ava explained. "It sounds ridiculous now that I'm saying it out loud, but it's totally true."
"Man, how did you manage to get locked in the library?" Q couldn't help but laugh at her expense.
"The genius construction workers made sure to take the knobs off of the doors from the inside." Ava rolled her eyes. "But it wasn't so bad, I wasn't alone. I was surrounded by crazy people, but I wasn't by myself. I heard you guys won? I was sorta watching the score on the computer."
"Yeah, we won." Q had some more pep in his step than usual. "Sorry you didn't get to cheer. I know you were really pumped for it."
"Thanks, but I had a…productive evening." Ava smiled as they made their way to the Riverwalk.
She was such a night owl.
Beautiful lights everywhere, cool breezes flowing, people drinking hot cocoa or coffee, and a small jazz band playing music to fill the air.
"Did you start your report yet?"
"Les Mis? I tried." Q led her to an empty bench to sit, pulling the book out of his bag. "It's so slow."
"Still at the beginning, huh?" Ava laughed lightly, opening up the book to skim through it. "All you need to know right now, is Jean Valjean has spent the last nineteen years in jail. The first five years were for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his family and then the rest were for his failed escape attempts."
"Tough breaks. A loaf of bread?" Q questioned, jotting down notes as Ava summarized.
"French Revolution, Q." Ava quipped. "Times were hard…..uh, what's next? Myriel, a man from the clergy invited him into his home, Valjean accepts and then sneaks off with his valuable silverware."
"Way to bite the hand that feeds you."
"You'd think so, right?" Ava was glad that Q was seemingly getting into the story. "The police caught him and brought him back to Myriel, who told them that he had actually given the silverware to him as a gift."
"Sounds like a cool guy."
"He was. He even pretended to be upset that Valjean left some candlesticks behind. So, the police had nothing on him and had to leave him alone. Myriel told him that by taking those candlesticks, he would be making a promise to be an honest man."
"Nice."
"Glad you think so." Ava snorted. "Valjean didn't. Not at first anyway. He actually left and stole a silver coin from a little kid. But that disgusting act is what woke him up, making him understand what Myriel had told him."
"So…it was Myriel's kindness that had that effect of Valjean in the end?"
"Exactly."
"What's up with Fantine and Tholomyės?"
"Oh, not much really. She got pregnant with his child and he left them on their own to fend for themselves." Ava shrugged. "Fantine had to leave her kid with the Thėnardiers so that she could work to support her, but they really, really suck."
"Cosette? Right?" Q wrote. "And they force her to do all the work? Like Cinderella? And they use the money her mother sends and keep it for themselves?"
So he did read some of it.
"Bingo."
"Too bad…..she seems like a good kid."
"She is." Ava nodded. "Twelve years later, Fantine gets fired from her job because the nosy people in town find out she has an illegitimate kid. Then she does all these less than desired things to earn money, some guy harasses her, she snaps, Madeleine comes to her rescue and promises to take care of Cosette."
"And Madeleine is Valjean."
"He is, but he's made something of himself. Fantine gets sick and Madeleine keeps his promise to take care of Cosette, but not before people find out that he is Valjean."
"All these pages just to say that?" Q shut his notebook, putting everything back into his bag.
"Hugo was very detailed. I prefer Tolstoy."
"Thanks for helping me out, it means a lot." He kissed her gently.
After everything that happened that night, Ava really did need that kiss.
"It was no trouble, I enjoy doing it." She furrowed her eyebrows when her phone rang. "I thought this was on silent."
"Who is it?"
"Nathan." She signaled for him to be quiet as she picked up. "Hello?"
"Where are you? I thought you would've gone home with Luke, but he says he hasn't seen you. Now, I'm not one to worry, but you leaving without saying anything really doesn't sit right with me, Havana."
"Oh my gosh." Ava's hand flew to cover her mouth. "I'm so sorry, I thought I told you I had plans after the game tonight. I knew I was forgetting something." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"Where are you, Ava? I'm coming to pick you up. I don't like you being out late like this. Especially if I don't know where you are."
"I'm at the Riverwalk, but I'm headed home now. We're done here."
"We?" Nathan questioned on the other line. "Who are you with?"
"A friend." Ava sent Q an apologetic look. "Don't worry, I'm in good hands and I'm perfectly safe. I'm coming home right now. Nate, I'm so sorry. Is Haley worried?"
"Lucky for you, she isn't home yet." Nathan told her. "Straight home. No detours. And we'll talk about it when you get here."
"Got it." Ava sighed and hung up.
"A friend?" Q didn't seem upset at all. Actually, he was teasing her.
He had no problem in keeping the relationship on the down low until Ava worked up the courage to tell her brothers that they were an item.
"Yeah, sorry about that." She grimaced. "I haven't told anyone about us yet. Well, besides Brooke and Maddie, but they dragged it out of me. I wasn't about to tell him over the phone."
"I don't know, I kind of what to see him fly through the phone to come and get you."
"I don't think you would." Ava playfully shoved him.
"How about I give you a ride home? It's late and it's faster than walking."
"I'd love that. Thank you."
"Thanks again." Ava smiled at her boyfriend once they pulled up outside the house. "Walking didn't look all that glamorous to me."
"I wasn't gonna let you freeze out here anyway." Q smirked. "I'll see you at school?"
"Or perhaps….." Ava pecked his lips. "Before?"
"That's messed up."
"What?" Ava teased, kissing him again. "This?"
"You know full well, you need to go inside and you're over here, kissing me like we've got all the time in the world."
"That bother you?' Ava allowed herself to osculate yet again.
This kissing thing was nice. She loved expressing how much she loved her boyfriend through physical affection.
But what she loved the most was that it never went any further than that. She and Q actually sat down together and had a talk about it.
He was her very first boyfriend and she was only fourteen. She didn't feel comfortable going any further than kissing. Q, being the amazing guy he was, understood that. He never pressured her into doing anything she didn't want to do.
Sometimes he even asked her if she was okay.
"No." Q mumbled.
"I'll see you, Q." She smirked, getting out of the car. "Get home safe."
"I will." Q smiled and pulled away once he saw her step inside.
"Where were you?" Carrie was on the girl as soon as she entered the house. Ava hadn't even realized she was home. This was supposed to be her night off.
"Uh, hello to you, too." The teen gave her a look. "And space is good." She gently pushed the woman an arm's length away from her, moving to the kitchen to get a drink of water.
But with her luck, Carrie followed her in there.
"Nathan is worried sick about you!"
"Where is he?"
"Taking a shower."
"So…he's so worried he decided to take a shower?"
"Don't get smart with me." Carried pointed a finger at her. "You were wrong to do what you did."
"Okay, first of all, I know that, but that's between Nathan and I. You're not my nanny or my anything as a matter of fact." Ava began, pouring herself a glass of water to take a few sips. "Second, you need to get your finger out of my face before I break it. I'm not the one, Carrie."
"If you were one of mine, we'd be having an entirely different conversation. There's no way I'd let this slide."
What was she talking about? And why was she so peeved? This had nothing to do with her.
"See, that's the thing. I'm not one of yours. I have a mother, a wonderful mother who loves me very much and doesn't attack me as soon as I get through the door. I heard about that whole, Jamie calling you 'Mama' thing, I saw you flirting with my brother, and honestly, it's getting creepy" Ava made a move to leave.
"Where do you think you're going?" Carried stopped her.
"Upstairs." Ava deadpanned. "I'm tired, I wanna get out of this uniform and get to bed."
"You were with that boyfriend of yours, weren't you?" Carrie accused.
Ava had no idea she even knew.
Creepy much?
"I saw you two at Tric. You're a little too young for that sort of thing, don't you think?"
"I think that this is none of your business."
"Drop the attitude, Ava." Carrie glared. "Your brothers don't even know about him, do they? That figures. Every teenager is the same, sneaky, vindictive and—"
"—Shut up and mind your business. Nathan doesn't want you and you're not earning any brownie points with him by playing 'mother'."
No sooner did the words leave Ava's mouth, did Carrie's hand connect with her face, sending her head to the side.
Neither of the two said anything for a few moments, but once Ava gained her bearings, she backhanded the woman so hard, she stumbled back.
"I already warned you, Carrie. I'm not the one." She ignored the shocked look on her face and stalked upstairs, leaving her to cradle her cheek all by herself.
"Ava? You're still up?" Haley entered the house and found her sister-in-law sitting on the stairs, dressed in her pajamas.
She looked like she had been dozing off while waiting for her to come back home.
"Yeah, I need to talk to you." The teen stood up. "It's about Carrie."
"Oh? What about her?"
"She's nuts, Haley." Ava put it bluntly. "She's obsessed with Nathan, she's obsessed with Jamie, and a few minutes ago, she slapped me."
"What?!" Haley grabbed her chin, looking at the light bruising that was forming on her cheek. "She did this?"
"She did." Ava confirmed. "But don't worry about it. I got her back."
"That's not the point! What she did was—"
"—It's okay, Nathan." Haley heard Carrie say from upstairs. "I love you, too."
She and Ava shared a look before dashing up the stairs to the bathroom, only to find Nathan and Carrie in there.
Together.
Now, Ava knew that this was all Carrie's doing, but Haley was too outraged to think straight.
And who could blame her? Everyone had their breaking point.
"Haley!" Nathan's eyes widened like a deer in the headlights. "This— this isn't what it looks like, okay? I swear to you, I didn't— look, I haven't. Carrie, tell her!"
Why he would ask Carrie of all people to tell him the truth, Ava didn't know.
She just shook her head and continued to watch everything go up in flames.
"Nathan loves me, and I love him back."
Haley had heard enough. Her nostrils flared and her face went red as she grabbed a chunk of Carrie's hair right at the roots. "I want you to get out of my house right now!" She bellowed, throwing her out in just a towel.
Ava would be lying if she said she didn't stick her foot out to trip her on the way.
"Haley, look." Nathan was desperate and Ava felt like she was intruding on something personal, but she couldn't walk away. "I know this looks like—"
"—You get out, too!"
"Look, I didn't—"
"—Get out!" Haley glared before stalking out of the bathroom so fast, Ava almost didn't have time to get out of her way.
She, of course, didn't want to incur Haley's wrath by not allowing her to path while she was so upset.
She looked at her brother for a moment before deciding to say something. "Uh, I know that this." She waved her hand. "Wasn't your fault. I'm sorry that lunatic did this."
"I let it get too far."
"You did." Ava nodded. "You'll work it out."
"I don't think so, but thanks."
"I'd hug you, but we're in a bathroom and that's weird." Ava joked, getting him to at least crack a small smile. "I'll text Luke and tell him you're heading his way… don't worry about Haley and Jamie too much, I'll take care of it. And, uh, you might wanna press charges. I think that was harassment."
"Mama?" Ava answered her phone as she got dressed for school the next morning. "Hi!"
"Hi, Sweetheart." Karen sounded happier than usual on the phone. "It's so good to hear from you!"
"You, too." Ava threw on a cropped long sleeved shirt and parted her hair in the middle. "What's new?"
"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing. Lucas called and told me you got home pretty late last night. Now, that's not the reason I called, but if there's something you'd like to tell me…."
"I was with my boyfriend." Ava shoved a shoe onto her foot, holding her phone between her shoulder and her ear.
Her mother was miles away from Tree Hill and it wasn't like she was going to make a federal case out of her having a boyfriend.
She was a woman, she understood.
"Boyfriend?" Karen coughed, having been caught off guard.
"Mama."
"I'm sorry, honey, it's just…..you're dating someone?"
"Yes, Mama. I'm dating someone. Is it that crazy?"
"No, it's not crazy, it's just…you're my baby and I wasn't prepared to hear that." Karen cleared her throat. "Alright enough of that, what's he like?"
"He's kind, funny….he gets on Lucas' last nerve, so that's cool."
"Does Lucas know? Or Nathan?"
"Absolutely not." Ava laughed bitterly. "And they're not gonna."
"Ava, this isn't the kind of thing you can hide." Karen scolded. "It's better they find out from you than from someone else."
"I know." Ava sighed. "I'll tell them eventually."
"Speaking of your brothers, how are they?"
"Well, Lucas is happy with Lindsay, but Nathan and Haley had a…what's the word I'm looking for?….Marital issue last night."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, something about crazy nannies and secrets that blew up last night." Ava spoke as best as she could as she put on a little lip gloss. "It's a mess and I'll explain it to you in full when you get down here….you're still coming, right?"
"To the wedding? I wouldn't miss it."
"Is that my sister?" Ava heard Lily in the background. "I wanna talk to her! Let me talk to her, please?"
"I guess that's my cue." Karen chuckled. "I'll catch up with you later, honey. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Rosie! Rosie!" Lily's excited voice took over.
Ava loved talking on the phone with Lily. Every day with that girl was a new adventure and she just glad to be along for the ride.
"Lily, you don't have to scream into the phone, babe." She told her, shoving her books into her bag and slinging it onto her shoulder. "What's up?"
"Mommy and me are coming to Luke's wedding!"
"I heard." Ava humored her, acting as if she hadn't known prior to the phone call. "Are you excited?"
"Yes! I get to play with Jamie!"
Those two were the real twins in the family. Whenever they were around each other, they did everything together.
"I bet he'll love that." Ava made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, waving at Haley and Jamie. "Listen, I have to get to school, okay?"
"Awwww."
"I knowwww." Ava mocked. "But we'll talk later, I promise. And when you come up for the wedding we'll talk some more. You'll be sick of me."
"I can't get sick of you, I love you."
"Right back at ya, Lily."
"Hi." Jamie waved when he noticed that his aunt was speaking to Lily on the phone.
"Jamie says, hello, but I have to go, okay?" Ava told her, sensing her little sister's disappointment. "Go torture Andy for me."
"I will! Bye!"
"Bye!' Ava hung up and set her phone and her school bag down to get herself something to eat. "Good morning."
"Morning, Ava." Jamie piped up from his place on the island.
"Morning." Haley smiled. "I made breakfast if you're hungry."
"Actually, I have to run." Ava grabbed an apple, picking up her phone and bag once again. "But I appreciate it." She kissed her cheek before doing the same to Jamie. "Bye, Jimmy-Jam."
But Jamie didn't respond. He was kind of hoping she would've stayed to eat with them. Nathan wasn't home, Carrie was gone, and everything was changing.
"What's wrong?"
"There's supposed to be a smiley face." Jamie looked down at his breakfast.
"What?" Haley asked.
"Where's Nanny Carrie?" He asked. "She knows how I like them."
"Nanny Carrie is not home right now, and it's probably gonna be a little while before she comes back."
"How long?"
"I'm not sure yet, sweetheart."
Ava didn't know why she was lying to him. Carrie wasn't allowed back into the house at all. She wasn't going to come back. Giving him this false hope was kind of silly.
And it was going to come back to bite her.
But, hey, Jamie wasn't her kid. He was Haley's. If she didn't want him to know that Carrie was history, then Ava would respect that and keep her trap shut.
"Who's going to take me to school?"
"I am." Haley grinned. "In fact, I got everything ready. I made your lunch and packed your backpack. Yummy."
"You cut my PB&J sideways. Carrie cuts it in half. I like it cut in half."
"Well, it tastes the same both ways, I promise."
"Katie Brown's mom cuts her sandwiches sideways, and she's always trying to kiss me."
"Yuck." Nathan smiled as Jamie rushed at him, a result of his surprise visit.
"Daddy!"
"Jamie, can you go upstairs for a few minutes, sweetheart?"
"Why?"
"Hey, why don't you go upstairs and fire up the Playstation?" Nathan suggested. "Mommy's gonna let you play for ten minutes before you go to school."
"Sweet!"
"Sweet!"
"I'm gonna head to school." Ava decided to make herself scarce, stealing some bacon from Jamie's plate.
"Luke's outside in the car if you want a ride."
"Thanks." Ava waved and exited the house, tapping on the passenger side glass. Lucas was sitting in the driver's seat, listening to some of that old rock music he liked so much. "Morning."
"Morning." He smiled. "This came for you."
"What is it?" Ava asked, taking an envelope from him as she climbed into the backseat.
"Dan's up for parole." Lucas explained as she read the letter. "Nate and I are going to the hearing."
Ava stared at the letter for a minute in disbelief. "They're seriously letting this guy out? He murdered someone in cold blood."
She wanted to be more outraged than she felt, but part of her kind of missed Dan. The old Dan, before he was a murderer.
"It's happening." Lucas shrugged. "I didn't want to burden you with that news before school, but I didn't want to hide it from you either."
"I wanna go." Ava spoke without thinking.
"What?"
"I wanna go." Ava repeated. "To the hearing."
"Ava, this isn't something that I want you around, honey." Lucas was trying to put it delicately for her.
He still remembered how excited she had been to get to know their father and how devastated she was when she was told the truth about him. How sick she had gotten when it finally registered in her brain.
He didn't want Dan to have that effect on her ever again.
"Please?" Her voice was just above a whisper.
"No." But Lucas wouldn't be persuaded. "I can't do that to you, Ava."
He wouldn't do that to her.
"I get it." Ava crumpled the letter up. It was a long shot, she didn't think Lucas would go for it. So she wasn't disappointed when he said no. "By the way, Q's hand looks like it's been bothering him. He isn't saying anything, but I thought you should know."
"You totally flaked on me at the game!" Maddie bumped Ava's shoulder as she sat down next to her for lunch. "I called you, like, a hundred times and you still haven't responded to me. What's up with that, Ava-Rose?"
"I'm sorry." Ava apologized. "I wasn't at the game, because I couldn't be at the game. I got locked in the library. Sounds stupid, but it's true."
"You have the best luck, Ava." Maddie laughed. "What happened in there? Who were you with? I need details."
"Well, I was with Peyton, Mia, Brooke, Haley…and Lindsay."
"I take it you and Lindsay are still not tight?"
"Eh." Ava shrugged. "I feel less strongly about her, but we've got a long way to go. We're getting there."
"Well, good. Your brother's marrying her soon. You'd better get used to her being around." Maddie joked. "What'd you guys do?"
"Argued mostly."
"Ah, Peyton loves Lucas, but Lucas loves Lindsay." Maddie mused.
She always knew what was going on in the family because she was pretty much a part of it.
"Bingo." Ava took a cookie out of her brown bag and broke it in half, giving one to her friend.
A lifelong tradition that continued.
"And you had nowhere to run. You poor thing."
"Well, I got in some of my own grievances, so it balanced everything out. Sorry, I didn't call you after I got out. Nathan and Haley had a thing."
"So that's why she was so off in class today."
"Yup. I've been trying to be there for her and my brother." Ava sipped her iced tea. "But I'm also trying to keep Jamie from worrying about them, too."
"Well, if you need anything, just call me. You know I like hanging out with the little guy."
"Thanks."
"Are you busy after school?"
"Actually." Ava ran a tired hand over her face. "My father is up for parole and his hearing is today."
"And you're going." Maddie raised an eyebrow.
"No, but I thought about it."
"Look, Ava." Maddie sighed. "I don't mean to upset you when I say this, but I don't trust that man. I never have and I never will. When we were kids, I heard about the things he did to other people, but I kept my mouth shut because your relationship with him was important to you. But we're older now and I can't keep this to myself anymore."
"What?"
"I don't like that man, Ava. He's your father, I know, I get it. But he hurt you and in the worse way possible. He took Keith from you. I can't forgive that."
"Maddie—"
"—And after Keith was gone, you didn't speak to anyone for weeks. It was like you were a totally different person. It was Dan's fault. And then when you found out the truth about, him you crashed. Hard."
Maddie had been there, every step of the way with Ava. Through thick and thin. The two were connected. When Ava was hurt, she was hurt and when she was hurt, Ava was, too.
That's just how it worked.
"I know….."
"I will never forgive him for doing that to you, Ava. I can't." Maddie shook her head. "You of all people didn't deserve that. But if you want to go to the hearing, go ahead. That's your choice and I'll be here for you 100%."
"Thank you. It means a lot." Ava smiled. "I just…..I'm confused, you know?"
"About what?"
"He's my father, but Keith raised me. I loved Keith. But I still wanted to have some sort of relationship with Dan. And even knowing the truth….I'm angry and I'm hurt, but Jamie just started to become so fascinated with him and it brought up all these old feelings of me wanting my father, but after what he did, how can I?"
"If you feel like this, I think you should talk to someone." She'd been telling this girl that for the longest time, but Ava seemed to want to carry the load all by herself.
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"Good afternoon." Dan spoke to the parole officers in front of him.
His hearing had just begun and some part of him was grateful both his sons showed up. For whatever reason, they were there. He was also a bit relieved that Ava was nowhere to be found. He didn't want her to have to witness any of this and reopen old wounds. He'd caused her enough pain.
And he swore, that if he got out, he'd spend all of his time doing everything humanely possible to sew their torn relationship back together.
It would never be the same, but it would be a start. Something was always better than nothing.
"When I was seventeen years old, I fell in love. Her name was Karen. And for a long time, she loved me back. We had a son, Lucas. And then, I had a daughter many years later. But we never became the family we should've been. Instead, my brother, Keith, assumed that role. And in my heart, something died. I deserve to be in here. There's no excuse for the crime that I committed. And believe me when I tell you, I spend every moment wishing I could take that fateful day back. Keith Scott is dead because of me. And that's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. So, I'll just make one pledge here today. If at some time, you decide to grant me my freedom, know that I'll spend every living moment trying to mend the lives of the people that I hurt by my actions. Because I have lost more than my freedom. I've lost something far more important than that. My family. These young men stand at the dawn of their adult lives. And my daughter, who isn't present, has just begun her adolescence. So far, because of what I've put them through, they've had it pretty rough. They deserve better. They deserve a father. I hope someday you'll give them that."
Dan was nothing if not good with words.
It's probably where Lucas got his talent from. Only, he used his words for good.
"Thank you, Mr. Scott. Does anyone else wish to speak at this time?"
"Yes." Lucas stood up. "Uh, I'm Lucas Scott….I'm his son."
He could only look at that man, his biological father, with contempt. This disgraceful, despicable, disgusting excuse of a man who was up for parole after murdering his own brother. A brother that tried his best to help him, and love him, and love his children. A brother that he betrayed without a second thought to what the ramifications might be.
Lucas had nothing but ill feelings for this man.
"Please, go ahead."
"My father abandoned my mother when she was pregnant with me. He left us to struggle on our own, even though he was a man of means. To top it off, he had an affair with another woman while married to my brother's mother. That woman became pregnant with our sister. This woman did not feel comfortable enough to leave our sister with her own father and yet sought my mother, a woman she had never met, out for help. Growing up, we had only one person to look after us. Keith Scott. And this man." He pointed to his father. "Killed his own brother. In cold blood at point blank range. Next week, I'm getting married. Keith would have been my best man. But he's not gonna be there. Just like he didn't see my state championship or see my first novel published, or my sister's first day of high school or any of her dance recitals. Dan took all of that. And he did it with malice and premeditation. Dan is an educated man, and if he is nothing, he's very persuasive. Do not let him fool you. He has a very dark and ugly heart. And he should never be allowed to walk the streets a free man. So as you deliberate his fate, I ask you only one question. How can a father hope to influence his children when they never even came to see him? Never even once."
"Thank you…..uh, actually…..it looks here that, uh, Nathan. You've been to visit your father recently. Is that true?"
"Yes." Nathan confirmed, avoiding his brother's eyes.
It was only once and it was for a purpose. He wanted to tell him that he was done with him. He didn't think that the courts would put that on record to bring up today.
He should've told his older brother instead of hiding it. It would've been so much better coming from him and it would've been less of a betrayal if they had time to discuss it together.
"And I see here that your little sister had managed to visit him as well."
Their little sister? Ava-Rose?
Now that was a curveball.
"Hey, Cosette." Q caught up with is girlfriend after the final bell rung, just as she closed her locker, slinging an arm around her shoulder.
"Cosette?" Ava looked at him. "Where did that come from?"
"Well, I was reading the book and I kinda really got into it. Cosette is pretty cool, you know? She had this pretty rough childhood, but she didn't let that change who she was."
Ava flushed at the compliment and smiled. "I'm sure Haley will be glad to know that you're enjoying the work."
"I'm not enjoying it. I have to read the book, so I'm reading the book." Q cleared his throat to save face.
He really was enjoying the book. Ava was right, but he needed to keep his reputation. He could have anyone thinking that he liked doing schoolwork.
"Whatever you say." But Ava knew better.
"Do you have to rush home?"
"No. Haley's picking Jamie up, so I don't have to worry about him. Why?"
"Well, my mom's been bugging me about bringing you by the house to meet her…..and my brother isn't any better."
He could've kicked himself. Why would he say that?
Sure, he and Ava had been dating for a while, but not even her brothers knew about them. And here he was, insinuating that he wanted her to meet his family.
"Okay." Ava shrugged.
It was no big deal to her. If Q wanted her to meet his mother and his brother, she'd consider it to be an honor.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, okay." She repeated herself. "I would love to meet your family."
"Mom?" Q called, letting Ava step into the house before he closed the door behind her. "I'm home!"
"Q!" A little boy who looked to be around Jamie's age, rushed at him.
"Hey, Andre." Q bumped his fist. "How was school?"
"Fine."
Ah, the classic one word answer to the infamous question.
"Just fine?" Q scoffed, resting a hand on his brother's head. "Hey, I want you to meet somebody." He gestured to Ava, who was standing there with her hands in her pockets. She didn't know what to do with them, so she figured that was her safest option. "This is Ava. The girl I told you about."
"Hi." Andre smiled at her, easing her nerves.
She was hoping to start off on the right foot with Andre. She was normally so good with kids, but she was still nervous to meet her boyfriend's little brother.
What if he was the one kid that didn't like her?
"Hi." Ava returned the smile. "I've heard a lot about you. You're five, right?"
"Yeah!" Andre beamed at his age being mentioned.
Ava remembered how proud she used to get whenever someone brought up her age and got it right the first time. Her shoulders would square and she'd stand a little taller, because they had acknowledged something that way important to her.
She couldn't help but extend the same courtesy to Andre.
"Wow, that's a whole hand!" She pretended to gasp. "You know, I have a nephew who's almost five. I think you two would really get along."
"Does he like basketball?"
"He loves basketball." Her tone matched his enthusiastic one.
And Q just watched the interaction with a silly smile on his face. There was nothing better than seeing the people you cared about, getting along. "Is Mom around?"
"Yeah, she's in the kitchen." Andre pointed to where they should go and grabbed Ava's hand. "Come on, I'll show you."
Ava shared an amused look with Q, before allowing the five year old to lead her to his mother.
The woman had been preparing a meal for dinner and was so preoccupied, she didn't even hear when they had come in.
"Mama, look who's here!" Andre caught her attention. "It's Ava!"
And he had said that as if he had known Ava his entire five years, instead of five-seconds.
It was cute.
"Oh!" The woman wiped her hands on her apron and walked over to greet her. "I'm so sorry, I get so into my cooking sometimes, I get lost!"
"Oh, that's alright. I'm the same way when I get a good book in my hands."
"Mom, this is Ava." Q politely introduced, eyeing his mother's reactions. "Ava, this is my mom."
"It's nice to meet you." Ava shook her hand. "I'm sorry I interrupted you."
"Nonsense." She waved her off. "I'm Denise Fields. It's so nice to finally meet you. You know, Q just cannot stop talking about you."
"Oh really?" Ava smirked at her boyfriend who looked like he wanted to dig a hole right there in the kitchen to jump in.
Well, isn't that cute?
"Oh yeah." Denise nodded. "He's always going on about how you're helping him with his report and how wonderful you are. It means a lot to me that you take time out to read Les Mis with him."
"Well, thank you." Ava blushed. "I don't mind. I love doing it."
"Would you like anything to eat or drink?"
"Oh, no thank you." Ava smiled, sitting down in a chair that Q pulled out for her at the table. "I just drank an entire fruit smoothie, so I'm good."
"Alright." Denise sat down and lifted her youngest son onto her lap. "So, how long have you two been dating?"
Q and Ava shared a nervous look before turning their attention back to his mother.
"We're…uh, we're not—"
"Q, don't you lie to me." Denise cut her son off. "I figured it out the minute you two walked in here. And with the way you've been going on and on about this girl, maybe even before then."
"Oh my goodness." Q put a hand to his head. Why did his mother insist on embarrassing him today of all days?
"It's nice to know you think well of me." Ava laughed at his expense.
"And he's treating you right?"
"Mom!"
"You raised him very well, Mrs. Fields."
"Call me Denise." The woman told her. "Tell me about yourself, Ava. What do you like to do?"
"Oh, well. I love to dance. I take lessons during the week.…..I like to read…..a lot. I get that from my brother." Ava tucked some hair away from her face. "My mom jokes with me and says I learned to read before I learned how to speak in full sentences."
"That's an excellent hobby. Reading opens up so many doors to different worlds."
"That's what I love most about it. I can visit so many places without ever leaving my room."
"I like to read, too." Andre piped up just so he wasn't left out.
"Oh yeah?" Ava humored him. "What's your favorite book?"
"The Cat in the Hat."
"I like the 'Cat in the Hat', though I'm more of a 'Green Eggs and Ham' kind of girl." She winked.
"That's my next favorite!"
"You've got good taste. That Sam-I-Am is a tricky one."
"You said, you got your love of reading from your brother?" Denise kept the conversation going, loving the way the girl had just accepted her son as a part of the conversation without ever putting him down through condescension. "He's coaching for the basketball team, right?"
"Yeah, Lucas." Ava nodded. "He was so excited when they offered him the job. He can't play anymore because of his heart condition, but this gives him a way to get involved again."
"That's so wonderful."
"Mmhmm. Nathan, my other brother still plays though. He's helping the team out as well."
"Do you play?" Andre asked.
"I used to."
"Why'd you stop?"
"I…a lot has happened." Ava tried to explain it in a way that he'd understand. "I love the game, but I haven't really found the drive to pick the ball up yet."
"Andre, you shouldn't ask questions like that."
"Oh no, that's okay. I've got a nephew at home. Kids ask questions. I don't mind. I was a lot worse." Ava laughed. "If you ever meet one of my brothers, I'm sure they'll tell you all about it."
"I can tell you love them very much."
"Oh yeah." A grin worked its way onto Ava's face. "They're my absolute best friends…..besides my actual best friend, Maddie. She doesn't really count though, she's like family."
"It's good that you have such a good relationship with your family." Denise commented. "Family is important."
"There's nothing more important." Ava agreed.
"Where've you been?" Lucas asked once his sister walked through the front door.
He had been sitting on the couch waiting for her ever since he had gotten back from the hearing.
That bombshell that had been dropped was irking him, and the longer he waited, the more upset her grew.
"I was with a friend." Ava peeled her denim jacket off and set her bag down away from the door. "I always hang out after school. Uh, are you okay?" She asked, taking notice of the hard look on his face.
He almost never looked at her like that. Sure, he got mad at her sometimes, but it looked like he wanted to wring her neck or something.
"I'm fine." The blonde stood up to meet her. "How was school?"
"It was fine." Ava responded warily. "How was— how was the hearing?"
"Funny you should ask." Lucas chuckled humorlessly and Ava noticed just how much he actually towered over her small frame. "But before I actually tell you, do you have anything you want to tell me?"
"No. Not that I know of. Why, is something wrong?"
"You tell me." Lucas played coy. "Today, it was brought to my attention that you've visited Dan in prison."
Ava couldn't stop her jaw from dropping. She had been caught. She had no idea her brothers would find out.
She didn't want them to find out.
"Who told you?" She couldn't stop herself from asking. "How did…..how did you find out?"
"How did I find out?!" Her brother finally exploded. "His parole officer told me! And it should've come from you! Actually, you shouldn't have been there at all! What were you thinking, huh?! You went to see Dan! He killed Keith, Havana! How could you go and visit him?!"
"I'm sorry!"
"When did this happen?"
"I don't know…..during the summer. I picked a day…..and I hopped on a bus and I went to see him. But it didn't mean anything!"
She and Nathan were so much alike, it drove Lucas crazy sometimes.
"It meant something, Havana!" He snapped. "It meant something to you! It meant something to his parole officer! It meant something to Nathan! It meant something to me! You lied! You lied and you kept this to yourself!"
"I'm sorry!" She had never thought of it as lying. The thought never even occurred to her. Her intentions weren't to be deceitful, she just acted impulsively.
And now it was coming back to bite her.
Which makes me wonder…..what else have you been lying about? I obviously can't trust you anymore." He shrugged bitterly. "What were you really doing today?"
"I told you, I was hanging out." The fact that he thought he couldn't trust her cut deep and now she was beginning to clam up. They'd always been able to trust each other.
Had she really screwed up that much?
"With who, Havana?" His eyes narrowed dangerously.
"A friend."
"You've been hanging out with Q, haven't you?"
"I—" Oh no.
Oh no. Oh no. He knew. He knew and he was ticked off.
Her mother was right! She should've said something a lot sooner.
"—And you've been hanging out with him for the past few months without any of us knowing it."
"Luke, you can be mad at me for visiting Dan, but you can't get mad at me for hanging out with Q."
And instead of coming clean and explaining herself, she dug her heels in.
"I can be mad and I will be mad! You've been going around behind my back doing who knows what?!"
Okay, that was legitimate. Ava couldn't see it right now, but it was a valid concern. It wasn't like she had been going about any of this the right way. She had definitely been lying and she had been sneaking around, telling her brothers she was going one place, when she really was going to hang out with Q at another.
He wasn't wrong to be angry. He was concerned and he was scared she was going to do something that would end with her getting hurt.
But Ava was too emotional to think rationally. All she knew was her big brother was yelling at her, it scared her, she didn't like it, and she had to fight back.
"What do you care?!" She let her anger rush to the surface to hide how hurt she was, but all that pain just tumbled out of her mouth instead. "It's not like you ever really asked me in detail! Your tongue was always shoved down Lindsay's throat! The day I visited Dan, was the day I told you I was going out and all you said was, 'Okay'." She deepened her voice to do an intentionally horrible imitation of him.
Immature, but she didn't care.
"You didn't ask me where I was going, or how I was going to get there! You didn't care, because you were with Lindsay!" She blurted. "You're always with her as if she were some sort of missing appendage! To spend a day or even a minute with you, I have to make an appointment seventy-two hours in advance! Or I have to accidentally run into you in the gym! And even then, you're occupied with something or someone else! So, yes, I do hang out with Q. I hang out with Q a lot. And I'm gonna keep hanging out with him and you're not gonna stop me! You know why? He's my boyfriend!" She finally admitted the truth. "Because if it isn't you and your lack of decision making skills, 'I love Lindsay! No! I love Peyton! No, wait, I love Lindsay!" She threw her hands up in the air, mocking him just to express her annoyance on the subject.
The triangles were getting really old and she was sick of it.
"Or Nathan in a wheelchair, pouting about how his life is over, or Haley being at odds with him, or Lindsay attaching herself to your hip, or Jamie confiding in me about how he's scared because Nathan and Haley are always fighting because they can't be two functioning adults and get it together, or Peyton being a lovesick puppy on your stupid behalf! I have no one!"
Lucas had never seen his sister like this before. It was shocking, but he knew she needed to get all of this off her chest. It wasn't going to be healthy for either of them if he cut her off.
"I have problems, too!" She screamed. "I feel things, too! I get happy and I get sad! I get really, really sad! Can't you see that? Can't you see I'm hurting?!" Her shouts were becoming more and more desperate as she went on, her resolve shattering.
The girl's hands flew up to the collar of her sweater and her fingers began to yank on the fabric covering her chest, as if she were trying to claw her agony away. Her movements were so frantic, it sounded like she was pummeling her chest.
"You don't see it." She swallowed a lump in her throat, leaving her mouth dry. "Nobody sees it. I'm all alone...Oh God..." She sobbed, her adrenaline skyrocketing as her body came to the wrong conclusion that she was in danger. So she stopped ripping away at her sweater. "There's a hole and I can't fill it. I can't fill it no matter what I do!"
The material was too thick for her to actually do any damage, not that she wanted to. What she wanted, was a strong drink.
Vodka or something that would leave her brain fuzzy for a few hours. Long enough that she didn't have to think about this.
She could feel Lucas moving closer to her, more than likely to pull her into his arms, but she didn't want to be touched. She felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest. It was hard to breathe, hard to think.
The last thing she thought she needed was a hug.
"When I'm with Q, I'm not alone and I'm not second or third to anyone else or their stupid, never-ending cycle of issues! It's just me and him! When we're together, we're present! So, yeah, I enjoy my time with my boyfriend! And as far as I'm concerned, Lindsay can have you, because I don't want any of you anymore! Especially, you!" Ava finished her rant and rushed right back out the door, leaving it to slam behind her.
She only ran two doors down to Maddie's house and knocked on the door. This was always the place she'd go to when she needed help.
And when Maddie answered, she gasped at the sight of her.
Ava was a mess. There was tears flooding down her face, her cheeks were flushed, her nose was sniffly, and she just looked all around distraught.
"Ava, what happened?" She asked, pulling her in for a quick hug, pulling away when she felt Ava resisting. "What's wrong?"
"I didn't know where else to go…" Ava cried softly. She felt trapped, like a cornered animal. "I can't go home."
"What? Why?"
"I went to see Dan…..and Lucas found out and he hates me!" She sobbed. "I visited the same person who took Keith from us and I hid it from him! You were right!"
"He doesn't hate you. I know he doesn't."
"He does!" Ava insisted. "He was yelling at me and he told me he can't trust me anymore! I ruined everything! I told him about Q and it made it even worse and I—"
"—Ava, I know Lucas. He doesn't hate you. Things are just tense right now. He'll forgive you."
"But he won't!" Ava wiped her tears away with her sleeve only for more to fall. "I blew up at him and I said all kinds of awful things about how no one ever has time for me! And I feel like such a brat!" She confessed. "I told him that Lindsay could have him, because I didn't want him anymore!"
"He knows you didn't mean that." Maddie, rubbed her arm.
She felt bad for the girl. Maybe her delivery was off, but Ava had meant what she said about not being seen. Maddie had noticed it long before Ava had.
She noticed it a few months after the babies were born, she noticed it after Karen left with Andy and Lily, She noticed it when Lucas started dating Lindsay, she noticed it during the four months that Nathan was in his wheelchair, and she noticed it somedays at school.
Ava was starving for some one on one attention from someone. Anyone. Just some time that didn't include the basketball team, or Jamie, or talking about school, or being trapped in the library.
She just wanted someone to sit down and have a nice conversation with her with no strings attached.
And that was probably why she had gone to see Dan.
She had been desperate and she sought for the loving relationship she had once had with the man.
Because when they had been together, she was always had his full attention.
Ava never wanted to admit that that was what she was feeling, because she thought it was selfish.
But Maddie knew her best friend better than Ava knew herself.
And she didn't think it was selfish at all. There wasn't a selfish bone in that girl's body.
"Ava?" Lucy, Maddie's mother came to the door. "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine." Ava sucked in most of tears at the drop of a hat, it was almost impressive. "I'm okay."
"Are you sure? I'll call Lucas to come and get you. Something is wrong." Lucy didn't wait for an answer, she just walked back into the house to dial the phone.
"Ava, don't run away from this." Maddie could see the gears moving in the girl's head as she stepped off the porch.
"I have to go." And she was right. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here. It wasn't right of me to dump this all on you. I'm so sorry."
"Ava!"
"Hello?" Ava marched through Nathan and Haley's house with purpose.
She didn't receive an answer, so she figured they must've been out somewhere.
Ava would come to regret this, very, very soon, but her emotions were at an all time high and she needed to get herself under control somehow.
So she found herself walking right into the kitchen, and opened the liquor cabinet, her eyes catching a bottle of vodka that had been untouched up until this point.
After seconds of deliberation, she snagged the bottle and left the house without another word.
Ava had no clue where she was going, but she knew she was getting there.
Her feet had a mind of their own and she just led them guide her...right to the Rivercourt.
She hadn't expected Q to be there, but he was, and it was kind of a relief to see him.
"Ava?" He stopped what he was doing when he saw her. "I thought you went home?"
Ava didn't respond. She just marched right up to him, grabbed the back of his neck and slammed her lips up against his, her other hand clinging tightly to that bottle she had yet to even open.
It was so bold a move that it shocked him.
The kiss deepened as the two stumbled over to the bleachers, turning into something more than before.
Ava, though cold from leaving her jacket back at the house, moved to lift her sweater over her head, leaving her in a long sleeved shirt. Q was puzzled for a moment. He and Ava had already talked about this and she said she wasn't ready.
What changed?
And what was the drink for?
"Ava, are you sure?"
"I've never been so sure of anything before." She nodded firmly, pushing all her doubts away. She knocked the top of the bottle lightly against the bleachers, successfully getting the top off and took a a few long gulps.
It burned going down her throat, but she didn't care. That kind of pain was better than the one she was feeling in her heart. It could be mended.
"Ava, are you sure?" He repeated himself, taking a sip when it was offered.
"I'm sure." She gave him the okay. "Do it."
Q took a deep breath and his hands found the bottom of the girl's shirt, pulling it up and over her head, leaving her in a camisole.
Ava allowed him to do it and laid back on the cold metal of the bleachers. She needed to feel something, anything. She needed this. This was the right thing to do.
The wind whipped through her ears and her breath quickened when she felt his hands move further south, but she didn't say anything. She was going to make herself ready for this. Nothing else mattered right now. Nothing but this.
She loved Q and he loved her. This kind of intimacy was supposed to be a display of how true that was.
"Ava." Q stopped abruptly. He couldn't bring himself to go any further than this. It wasn't that he was afraid. No, that wasn't the case at all.
He could feel how frightened Ava was as soon as he touched her. She wasn't ready for this yet and she probably wouldn't be for a long time.
What he wanted to know was, why was she so adamant about forcing herself to do something she wasn't comfortable with?
Ava." The poor girl's eyes were squeezed shut and her jaw was clenched. "Ava, open your eyes." He waited until those beautiful, chocolate brown orbs were staring right back at him before he continued. "This isn't right. C'mon, sit up."
The boy reached out to help her do so and his heart shattered when his hands felt her trembling form.
"Why'd you stop?" Her teeth chattered, though not from the elements of the weather.
"Because you're not ready."
"Q—"
"—Ava, you're not ready and that's okay." He stopped her before she could start tearing herself down. "This is too big of a step and I'm not gonna let you force yourself into doing it. You know I'm right. You're drinking just to distract yourself from how much you aren't ready for this. Don't make this mistake."
And what he said had brought her crashing right back down to earth. What was she doing? What had she done? Had she lost her mind?
"I-I'm sorry." She stammered, throwing her sweater back over her head as quickly as possible. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I...I'm sorry."
"Ava, wait —" But the girl was gone and she left the bottle right there on the bleachers with him.
The one good decision she had made that night.
"Mother, I am not discussing this with you right now." Brooke spoke angrily into her phone's receiver, marching towards the door as the bell rang. "This is my company and—" She stopped short when she saw an upset looking Ava on her doorstep. "I'm gonna have to call you back."
"Hi." Ava sniffled, playing with sleeves, looking very much like a kicked puppy.
"Come inside. It's cold." Brooke ushered her in and closed the door. "What are you doing here, Honey?"
"I don't know…..I was walking around town and I didn't know where to go…so I came here. I'm sorry."
"No." Brooke held up an authoritative finger. "Don't ever apologize for coming to me when you need anything. Ever. Even if it's to stop by and say hello, you are always welcome to do so."
She had been very surprised to see Ava that night. The girl was the only one that hadn't stopped by to see the new house since she moved in. Brooke understood that maybe she felt that maybe because they weren't that close she should stay away, but Brooke wanted to make it clear that that was silly.
Ava was family. She always had been.
"Thank you." Ava sat down as she was led to the couch. Brooke had the fireplace lit, so as soon as the heat from the flames licked at her freezing skin, she began to relax just a little bit.
She didn't even know how she got there. Her head was so fuzzy and her eyes were slightly unfocused. She wasn't even in her right mind.
"Now, tell me what's wrong, sweetheart."
"I…..nothing."
"Ava, you come to my house in the middle of the night, with tear tracks on your face, shaking like a leaf. I don't know, that looks like a lot more than nothing." Brooke swiped her thumb across the girl's cheek. "What's going on, Buddy?"
"I can't go home." A new flood of tears gathered at her eyes. "I messed everything up and I can't go home." She hiccuped, prompting Brooke to wrap her arms around her. "He hates me."
"Who hates you?" Brooke cradled her head.
"Lucas. We had a fight and I said awful things I didn't mean, but I can't take any of it back!"
"Ssshhh. Shhhh." Brooke soothed. "What did you fight about?"
"Please don't be mad?"
"I won't get mad, Honey. Just tell me what happened and we'll try to fix it, okay?"
"I told him about Q." Ava admitted first. "And I went to see Dan."
She purposefully omitted what happened between her and Q not even hours before, along with how she stole Nathan's alcohol and got drunk for the second time. She wouldn't be able to take it if Brooke heard the news and began to look at her differently.
This was probably one of those things that were better left unspoken.
"Oh." The brunette had to take a second to regroup. "I see."
She already knew about Q, that was old news. But she had no idea that the teen had gone off to visit her father.
She hated her reaction to it, but there was really nothing to say about it. She wasn't going to shame her for going, it was her decision. Dan was her father.
But she really did think that this was a conversation Ava should have been having with her brothers.
"I'm so sorry! I can't take it back! He hates me now!"
"He doesn't hate you." Brooke assured her. "He's just a little upset at you."
There was no way either Lucas or Nathan could ever hate Ava. It was physically impossible. She had those boys happily wrapped around her finger.
"But I said I didn't want him anymore.…I told him Lindsay could have him…..and I said other awful things and it wasn't even his fault." Ava sniffled.
"It's gonna be okay, Buddy. I promise, okay? But I need you to calm yourself down and take some deep breaths before you make yourself sick."
"I didn't mean it."
"I know, Honey. I know."
A/N: Very angsty today. Ava kind of screwed up a bit here, but not on purpose. A culmination of things just piled up on her and she's finally reached her breaking point. But on a positive note, how precious is Q? And how awesome is Brooke Davis? Ava is really lucky to have people like this in her life. She thinks all is lost now, but things will get better. XOXOXO