Chapter Eleven:
"The longer you stay silent, the harder this will be on the both of us."
"I thought you get paid either way." Ava snarked at her therapist, her left leg bouncing steadily as she looked directly at the woman. "If I don't cooperate, that means you're earning a living by just sitting in a comfy room."
Linda sighed, shaking her head as she clicked her pen and jotted something down in her notepad.
Ava was now, by far, the toughest patient she's ever had the experience of speaking to. But that just meant that when she finally did open up, they'd have a lot to work through, which was a good thing. Ava would finally be acknowledging that there is a problem and she'd be finding healthier ways of coping.
"I heard you got into a fight." She clicked her pen once again as she finished writing.
"So?"
"What was it about?" The woman relaxed and leaned back into her upholstered chair. "You know, when I was a kid, I got into my fair share of fights."
"You?' Ava eyed her skirt suit and tightly pulled back hair with disbelief. Linda didn't look like the type of person who got into fights. She didn't even look like she got into verbal disagreements.
"Yes, me." Linda bit back a smile when she noticed Ava was now interested in talking to her. "I wasn't always like this."
"What were you like?"
"I was an active kid, a tomboy. I never worse dresses or skirts and I was always roughhousing with my brothers. Kids are cruel no matter where you go, they liked to tease me, so I fought them to get them to leave me alone."
"Did they?"
"Sometimes."
"I got into a fight with someone from the opposite team." Ava began to open up. "He was a real jerk and I let him have it...but that wasn't the only reason."
"It wasn't?"
"No." Ava gave her head a quick shake, lifting her foot so that her ankle rested on her knee, giving her the opportunity to pick at her shoelaces.
"There was something else on your mind?"
"I think so...that's what Haley says. She thinks I was blowing off some steam." She shrugged. "I found out that my dad's heart condition is getting worse and if he doesn't get a transplant...he only has, like, half a year."
"How does that make you feel?"
"I don't know." Ava pulled her shoelaces loose, tightening them to tie them all over again. "Confused? Everybody says that I can feel whatever I wanna feel, but what if I feel something that'll make them mad?"
"You're always entitled to what you feel no matter what anyone else thinks. What is it you're feeling that you think will cause such a reaction?"
"I feel sad." Ava answered honestly.
For a few seconds, Linda could see that little girl that Karen had been telling her about before she and Ava even had their first session. Her eyes were wide and innocent, her voice was just above a whisper for fear of someone else hearing what she had just admitted, and she looked so small and vulnerable.
They were making great progress. In order to really move on, Ava had to go back that place where it all began; her pre-adolescent years. She had to confront that piece of her past.
"Why do you feel sad?"
"He's still my dad." The teen untied her shoe once again, a tactic that Linda noticed she used in order to make it easier to talk about something that made her uncomfortable. "He used to tell me stories before I went to sleep, he'd take me to dance class when he wasn't busy with work...I used to sit on top of his desk when he'd fill out important forms." She smiled at the memory. "I was the only one who could sit in his chair that was in his office...and sometimes I would dress up in his clothes and pretend I was him to make him laugh."
"Sounds like you two had lots of fun together."
"Yeah. We did." Ava was wistful. "He almost never called me by my name."
"What did he call you?"
"He called me, 'Baby'." She giggled. "Because I'm the youngest and the only girl...I really miss him. Is that wrong?"
"No, it's not wrong." Linda assured her. "It just means that you're human. You and your dad had a special bond, he's your father. He loves you and you still love him."
"But he killed my uncle. I should hate him. I shouldn't even be talking to him. My mother and my brothers hate him, why can't I?"
"You're different, Ava." Linda smiled.
"Story of my life."
"It's not a bad thing. In fact, it might just be the thing that'll help get you and your family through all this."
"You have your key?" Nathan asked Ava. "The spare one is gone."
"What makes you think I need a key?" She scoffed, testing the doorknob to her childhood home to see if it was unlocked.
When it didn't budge, her fingers searched through her hair to find a bobby pin that she opened slightly, pushing it through the keyhole.
"Are you kidding?" Her brother bristled.
"That's so cool!" Jamie marveled. "How do you know how to do that?"
The teen's tongue stuck out in concentration as she jiggled the pin to get it just right before she answered, "Charlie's Angels'."
"Unbelievable." Nathan rolled his eyes.
"Hey, do you want to get in or not?" Ava cut him a look before she turned her attention back to the lock, jimmying it open with a satisfying click.
"Can you teach me how to do that?"
"Sure, I can."
"But you won't." Nathan arched a brow. "One delinquent in my house is enough."
"I resent that." She turned the knob and opened the door, allowing them to enter the house through Lucas' room.
They hadn't seen him since the game and that was a week ago.
It looked like he hadn't bathed in a week either. The smell certainly backed that up. It was a mixture of alcohol and pure sweat.
"I think you drink too much." Jamie commented, looking at his uncle.
"I think you're right." Lucas' voice was muffled by the pillow over his head.
"Man." Nathan whistled. "You'd think somebody got thrown through a plate glass window. Dude, it seriously smells like crap in here."
"And rotten cheese." Jamie added, his nose scrunched in disgust.
"Go away." Lucas murmured, still not moving from his place in bed.
"Oof." The five year old cringed. "And bad breath."
"I said, 'go away'!" Lucas ripped the pillow off of his head, revealing his mohawk.
Ava couldn't help but take a picture to memory's sake. She wondered how drunk Lucas had been to even ask for that to be done to his head. She knew her brother, and she knew him well. The last thing he'd ever want to do to his hair, is get a mohawk.
"Oh my goodness." She didn't even bother hiding her laughter, snapping another picture.
"What?" He growled, making her take a step back just so she was out of arm's length incase he decided to snatch her.
"Have you seen your head?' Nathan asked, watching the exchange with a snort.
"Not lately."
"Obviously." Ava tutted.
"You have a mohawk."
"I do?"
"And it looks—"
"—Awesome." Jamie hopped onto the bed, playing with the older blonde's hair. "Can I get one, Daddy?"
"Sure, if you wanna look goofy like your Uncle Lucas."
"It's kinda like he has a tail…just on his head."
"He looks like an idiot." Ava sent her brother a pointed look, still out of grabbing distance. "I can't believe you didn't answer my calls because you were out getting a 'Ricky Martin' makeover."
"Oh, shut up." And she was right to stay away. Lucas was sure that if she were any closer, he'd would've yanked her right off of her feet.
"You're really 'Livin' La Vida Loca', huh?"
"Hey, why don't you two go and get Luke a water bottle?" Nathan suggested, stopping a potential fight between his siblings before it started. In reality, it wouldn't even be a fight. Lucas was way stronger than Ava. So, Nathan was really only saving Ava's neck.
"That was 'one too many', huh?" But she did get the hint.
"Just a little bit."
"Come on, Jamie." Ava lifted Jamie off the bed and set him down on the ground, leading him into the kitchen to leave her brothers to talk.
"I thought we were gonna see you at the school board hearing."
"Yeah."
"They suspended you, Luke. Ten games."
"There's only eleven left." Lucas sat up slowly.
He wasn't sure if he cared enough about missing all those games just yet. Right now he wanted to wallow.
"Not for you."
"Here you go!" Jamie ran back in with a water bottle, handing it over to his uncle.
"Alright, Jamie, let's get going." Nathan opened the door. "Where's Ava?"
"She's still in the kitchen."
"Okay, well, Luke, tell her we're headed out."
Ava would probably ended up staying in her own house tonight to keep and eye on Lucas, and even if she didn't, she was more than capable of finding her way back home by herself.
If anything, she'd call and he'd drive over to pick her up.
"Sure thing."
"Bye, Uncle Lucas. Cool hair." Jamie grinned before exiting the house.
When he got home, he was definitely asking his mother if he could get a mohawk. It was the coolest thing he'd ever seen.
"Wait for me right there, okay?"
"Okay."
"Look, Luke." Nathan closed the door for some privacy. "I know from experience, whatever answers you're looking for…..you're not gonna find them like this. Trust me. I know it sucks that Lindsay's dating. And it sucks that you grabbed that player, but don't make it worse. The darkness doesn't have any answers, Luke."
And with that, Nathan left.
Lucas mulled over his brother's words and laid back down.
He wanted so much for Lindsay to see how much he loved her and come back. But now she was dating other people.
He knew the way he was coping wasn't right. How could he have flipped out on a kid like that? He was so stupid.
What was going on with him?
"Hey, I figured you haven't eaten a real meal in well….a week." He didn't exactly know how long he had been laying there after he dragged himself up and got dressed, because Ava had startled him out of his thoughts. "So I made breakfast."
The fifteen year old came into the room carrying two plates of French toast with sausages and syrup.
She knew that French toast was his favorite breakfast food, so she figured it might cheer him up a little bit.
"Thanks." He forced a smile, taking the plate as she sat down in front of him.
She could be a little gremlin a lot of the time, but she had her moments where she was very, very sweet.
"I thought maybe it would make you happy."
"It did." He took a bite, not realizing how hungry he had been and now that he was aware, he had to stop himself from inhaling all the food at once. "It's good."
"Good." She took a bite of her own.
"I heard about what happened after Nathan dragged me away."
Haley called him not to long after everything was all said and done to tell him exactly what happened in his absence.
He wished her could say that he was shocked that Ava had been in a fight, but given her history, he was more surprised that Nathan was able to pull her away.
He was glad that she held her own, all things considered. It had nothing to do with him being upset with what Ronnie did to him or to Q. The minute he found out that he laid his hands on his baby sister, all bets were off. Nathan was right to tell him to stay away, because if he had been there, then he'd be missing a lot more than ten games.
Apparently, tempers ran in the Scott family.
"Oh, that."
"Are you okay?"
There was no sign of bruising on her face, so that was good news.
"Yeah. He looked worse than I did, but I'm okay. Are you?"
He was taking this break up hard. This is exactly what she didn't want to happen and she even tried to prevent it from happening the minute she met Lindsay by attempting to scare her off. She didn't like seeing Lucas so hopeless and after Peyton, she never wanted it to happen again.
No one, not even a well meaning little sister, could prevent a heart from being broken.
But she could help it mend.
"I'll get there."
"Someone told me once, that it's okay to feel what you're feeling." Ava looked at him. "It's okay to be sad."
"What goof told you that?"
"You did." Ava smiled cheekily. "It's true."
"I know."
"But what's not okay, is you wasting your life away in your room when you can be out doing something to make yourself feel better. And what's definitely not okay, is that mohawk." She commented, making him laugh.
"Yeah, I don't even remember how I got this thing."
"Dude, you're a mess." She deadpanned.
"What about you? Fighting with some guy bigger than you?"
"Hey! He was a few inches taller and I did that for you." Ava sighed when he shot her a look. "Fine, partly."
Lucas never wavered as he stared her down.
"Okay, I did it for me...but he had it coming!"
"I'll take that answer. Did you get in trouble at school?"
"I got three days of detention, because Principal Turner said he couldn't let me off the hook completely even though I didn't start it. He said that parents would call and complain or something."
"He must really like you, kid."
"I think out of the three of us, he likes me best."
"I'll say." Lucas joked.
"Well, well, well." Haley had come in through the front door so quietly, neither of them had heard her. "What is all this?"
"Not sure."
"I would laugh if this whole thing wasn't such a mess."
"What whole mess?"
"Are you kidding?" Ava quipped, still eating.
"You." Haley answered him. "Your head. All of it. You and I are going for a drive. But first." She pulled out his desk chair and plugged his razor in. "We're gonna fix the ferret above your face."
"Why?" Lucas nearly pouted, sitting down.
"We're taking a drive because I'm your best friend and you need me. And we're fixing your…very punk rock haircut because I have a five year old son, who unfortunately, wants to look just like his Uncle Lucas."
"How much do you wanna bet, he's sporting a faux-hawk right now?" Ava giggled at the picture in her head.
"You'd win that bet, Honey." Haley turned the razor on and shaved off some of Lucas' hair. "Are you coming for the drive?"
"No way. I'm not getting in the middle of your relationship-fixing drama. I just came to make sure he wasn't starving."
"You're so sweet."
"No, I'm not. If I let him starve, I don't think Mama will be too happy with me."
"Nice to know I'm appreciated."
"I'll see you later, Eeyore." Ava rolled her eyes and set her half eaten plate down on his desk.
"You made French toast?" Haley's jaw dropped as Ava walked over to the door.
"Yeah, you can have the rest of that if you want it."
"You're so good to me."
"Nice faux-hawk." Ava ran a hand over her nephew's hair. "Very chic."
"Don't make fun of me." Jamie pushed her hand away, continuing to feed Chester with a carrot. "I like my hair."
"And you should." Ava smiled and sat down next to him, petting the bunny. "Why so glum?"
She hoped it wasn't because of anything she said. She loved teasing him and riling him up, but she'd never want to hurt his feelings.
"No reason."
"Okay, have I done something to upset you?"
"No."
"Do you wanna be alone?"
"No."
"Alright. Then I'll sit here with you." She settled on the floor by the foot of his bed.
"Hey, Buddy." Nathan knocked on the opened door. "Thought you might wanna go for a swim."
"No, thanks."
"It's been a while. I don't think I've seen you in the pool since your accident."
It was true. Jamie used to love swimming, but ever since that night, he hadn't been in the pool at all.
"It's okay. I have to feed Chester."
"Jamie? Are you afraid?"
"No." Jamie didn't meet his eyes. "I just don't want to."
"Are you sure? It might be fun."
"No, thank you."
Ava smiled sadly at her brother and watched him leave the child's ball on his bed before heading back downstairs.
Nathan couldn't get through to him, but maybe she could. She had a somewhat similar experience, maybe if Jamie felt like he wasn't alone, he wouldn't be so afraid.
"You know, I'm afraid of water." She spoke nonchalantly, playing with Jamie's lego.
"You are?" Her admission obviously peaked his interest. "How come?"
Everyday he learned something new about his aunt. All this time, he thought she just didn't like getting her hair wet, which is what she always told him, but really, she was afraid to jump in.
"I…I had an accident when I was nine. I almost drowned."
The limo accident had been one of the worst experiences she'd ever had. Between Rachel's drunk driving, falling off the bridge, and then trying to swim out of the vehicle she was trapped in, it was no wonder Ava didn't want to be anywhere water unless it was to shower, or drink.
It had gotten so bad that she even stopped taking bubble baths. It was too much to even be sitting in water.
She knew she'd have to get over a fear so crippling, but she wasn't ready yet.
The longer she waited, the worse it was going to be.
That's why she wanted to convince Jamie to try again.
"Like me?"
"Like you."
"Did you ever go swimming again?"
"No." Ava shook her head. "But I wish I had. You made it look like a lot of fun. I thought I was missing out on something."
"Yeah."
"It's okay if you're afraid." She told him. "But don't let that fear get in the way of doing something you really love to do."
"I'm not afraid."
"I know, Jimmy Jam."
"That sounds nice."
"Oh, hi." Ava stopped strumming her guitar as Peyton entered the recording studio. "I'm sorry, I just—"
"—Hey, I don't mind." Peyton smiled. "You had something on your mind and you needed to let it out. It's cool with me. Come in anytime."
She of all people knew that inspiration struck at any time. She wasn't going to stop Ava from expressing herself using such a safe outlet.
"Thanks." The teen plucked a few arpeggios. "Uh, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"Do you love Lucas?"
"What?"
"Are you still in love with Lucas? Because I really do think that you are and it's none of my business, but I've seen the way you look at him and—"
Her gut was screaming that Peyton and Lucas belonged together. It was obvious. They connected to each other in a way that they never did with anyone else.
Why couldn't they see that?
"—Yes."
"Yeah?"
"Absolutely. Yes." Peyton admitted. "I'm completely in love with your brother and there's nothing I can do about it."
"But there is!"
Now that it was out in the open, there were things that could be done. Ava wasn't a meddler, but she'd stick her nose in this one to get the job done if she had to.
"There isn't, Ava."
"But there is!" She insisted. "Lindsay's gone! And she left because she knows that he's still in love with you! He spent a week in bed because he's just too stupid and stubborn to admit it!"
"He said, 'I do' at that altar!"
"I did say he was stupid!'
"Ava, I know you want to believe that we can get back together, and I really love you for it, but it's not gonna happen." Peyton smiled sadly, sitting on top of her desk.
"Why not?" Ava put her hands on her hips.
Adults really did think too much.
"Because he told me that he hated me and I ruined his life."
"Is that all?" Ava laughed.
"What's so funny?" Peyton had been really hurt by what Lucas told her and she couldn't believe that the teen found it amusing.
"Sometimes…..very rarely, he isn't good with words, so he says the opposite of what he really means."
"Ava….."
"Believe me, Peyton. He loves you. 'The Comet' was about you!"
"I wish that was true. With all my heart, I want to believe that it's true."
"What's stopping you then?"
"Nothing! I told him I loved him and I told him I wanted to be with him! And I even showed him how much I did! I wrote songs lyrics to 'The Cure' on the Rivercourt and it did nothing! It was all for—"
Peyton was cut off by her cellphone's ringtone before she could get another word out.
"Who is it?" Ava asked.
"It's Lucas."
It was all falling into place! It was happening!
"Well, answer it!"
"I am!" Peyton batted her hands away and answered the phone. "Hello?"
She tried to keep her voice even in order to not let on that she was super excited he called, but she was failing miserably.
As she listened to the call, Ava made kissy faces at her just to make her laugh. She was so immature.
But hey, she was still kid. What was their excuse?
The call ended just as soon as it had begun, leaving Peyton sitting there, stunned. Had that really just happened? Was she dreaming? Was it really true?
"What happened? What did he say?" Ava snapped her out of her thoughts.
"He's at the airport."
"And?"
"He's got two tickets to Las Vegas…he wants to get married."
"I told you! I told you!" Ava squealed, hugging her tightly. "You have to go home and pack!"
"Yeah."
"I was right!"
"You were right." Peyton acknowledged, tears of joy in her eyes that threatened to fall at any second. "You were right."
A/N: Ava's still conflicted about Dan, but she's actually talking to her therapist now, so she's getting a better understanding of her feelings. I have to lol at her picking locks, though. Nathan was so shocked :D But the poor girl is still terrified to swim. :(