Chapter Fifteen:

Ava rolled her eyes at a stupid freshman who flew right in front of her on his skateboard. She should've knocked him over, maybe then he'd learn to pay attention to his surroundings.

Idiot.

"Sorry!" He shouted, rolling away.

It was too late for apologies now, he already managed to tick her off.

Ever since that incident with Carrie happened, Ava had been absolutely angry at the world.

She wasn't angry at anything specific, but her blood boiled and she felt irritated by everything.

And sometimes, she took it out on everyone else.

She thought that maybe she'd be really scared of things like that happening again, or she'd be really traumatized by what she'd seen.

No.

It was like her body was tired of being scared and it was fed up with being sad. It wanted to feel a different emotion.

The only one left was anger. She was angry with her herself, she was angry at her teachers, she was angry at her friends. She was angry at Carrie, her school, her family.

She'd snap at Jamie, catch an attitude with Nathan and Haley, she was freezing Peyton out, and she wouldn't answer any of Lucas' calls.

He was on a tour to promote his latest novel, so he was out of state. He called every night and sometimes, every morning, to make sure that she was alright, but she sent him right to voicemail.

And she completely ignored her mother's calls.

She wasn't proud of it, but that's the way it was.

The teen glowered at nothing in particular and pushed the doors to shop open, to cut through and avoid traffic on the quad.

If one more kid bumped into her today, she'd knock them flat on their back.

As she passed by the various cars, she noticed someone sleeping inside of one.

And honestly, it was selfish on her part, but Ava really wondered why she had to be the one to find her.

Of all things that had been happening to her, she needed a break.

A big one.

She was going to walk away and pretend as if she hadn't seen anything, but her heart gave a tug that she couldn't ignore.

So, she huffed and knocked on the glass window, startling the girl out of her sleep.

It was Sam. She was probably having a rough time in the foster home she was in, so she had decided sleeping in a car instead of at home was a better option.

Against her better judgement, Ava climbed into the backset next to her and closed the door. "Hey."

"Hey." Sam gave her a look. Ava was the last person she expected to see here and this early, too.

"I haven't seen you in a while." Ava kept her eyes in front of her, her tone very icy and clipped. She didn't mean for it to be that way, but it just came out like that. "What brings you back to Tree Hill?"

"Foster home."

"Figured." Ava nodded. "I guess that answers why you've been sleeping in this car."

"Yeah. Look, I know we haven't been keeping in touch and all and we're not close anymore, but I'm really sorry about Quentin…..it must be really hard."

Sam hadn't spoken to Ava since they were kids. She didn't know why, it wasn't like she didn't know where she lived and wasn't able to send any letters.

Maybe she had been upset with her for spilling the beans on the less than stellar living situation she had. It wasn't Ava's fault, though. She did the right thing.

But Sam liked living in Tree Hill and she liked having friends. Having to give all of that up was really hard.

"Yeah." Ava's eyes darted down to the ring Q had bought for her. "It's hard…..but there's nothing I can do about it…except try to move on."

But she didn't want to move on.

She felt that if she could trick her mind into thinking she was fine, then her heart would mend itself.

"Yeah."

There was nothing much to talk about after that, so the two girls just sat in silence.

"You know, Hales, with everything you've been through lately, I'm sure Principal Turner would understand if you needed a little more time off." Nathan told his wife as they walked onto the Tree Hill High campus.

Being chased through a cornfield by a crazy nanny was literally the straw that had broken the camel's back for Haley. Between trying to help Dan, protect herself, and then her son and her sister, she needed a break.

And she did end up taking one. Being a teacher, she just called in and explained the situation. Admin was more than accommodating for her and told her to take as much time off as she needed.

Ava on the other hand, was back in school literally the Monday after the incident happened. She didn't want to spend time moping around at home with nothing to do but think about how Carrie managed to catch them all by surprise that day. She needed to do something to get her mind off of her troubles.

So if she wasn't at school, she was working at Clothe's Over Bro's. She didn't want to rest or take a break. Taking a break meant that her mind would have the opportunity to play games with her.

And now, Haley could see just why she felt that way.

"I think two weeks of replaying that day in my head is enough. It's time for me to get back to my life. Besides, it'll be nice to have the distraction."

Haley couldn't keep hiding away forever. She needed to get back out of the house and go to work, get back to living her life.

There was no threat anymore. Carrie was gone, Dan made sure of it. There wasn't anything to worry about anymore.

"If you need me, you know I'm here." Nathan had been telling all three of them that. The only two who happened to listen, were his wife and his son.

His sister was becoming harder and harder to reach as time went on. Sometimes he just really wanted to shake her.

Siblings, right?

"Yeah."

"You know what?" Nathan wiggled his eyebrows very playfully. "Let's cut through shop."

"You can cut through shop?" Haley's jaw dropped.

"You were such a nerd in high school." Nathan mused, opening the door for her.

"I was an honor student!"

"Exactly. Nerd…..then again, Ava knows about the shortcut, too."

"Whatever!" She laughed. "Nerd'. You don't know you'd do without me." Haley gasped suddenly when she caught Sam and Ava sleeping in the unfinished car she had been passing by. "Nathan!"

"So, you wanna tell me why you were sleeping in the backseat of a car at school?" Haley sat down on top of her desk in her classroom.

Once she found the two girls, she woke them up and had them follow her to her classroom to have a talk. Neither of them were willing, but what could they do?

"I've always wanted to have the experience of sleeping in a car in the middle of shop." Ava spoke without thinking.

"Well, it was either there or that smelly couch in the teacher's lounge." Sam shrugged, bouncing off of her.

"That couch is disgusting." Ava scrunched her nose.

She was sure that there were things living and making their home in that couch. It was never cleaned.

And it smelled like stale sandwiches and cigarette smoke.

Hm, cigarettes...now that was something she's never tried before.

"I can't believe you sit on that thing."

"For the record, I don't go near that thing." Haley shook her head. "So, tell me where you live, because I'm pretty sure it's not in shop class."

"You don't need my address, do you?" Ava asked, making Sam chuckle.

Maybe subconsciously, to a certain degree, she was trying to take the heat off of Sam so that maybe Haley would forget about the whole thing.

But Haley didn't find it to be all that amusing.

"I live in a foster home."

"Okay. Well, give me your number. I'm gonna need to speak with your foster parents."

"Uh, no." Sam refused. "That'll just make it worse. This is none of your business, okay?"

She wished Haley would just drop it. It wasn't like any of this was affecting her. She was only going to make things worse.

"Sam, if there's a problem at home, tell me. I can get you some help."

"There's not a problem. This is one of the better foster homes I've been in. The other ones were….not so good. Ava knows what I'm talking about. It's just a little crowded. It's okay."

"It's not okay, Sam. Is there anybody that was worried that you didn't come home last night?"

"You don't get it." Sam laughed bitterly. "Nobody cares. It's kind of like being invisible. Cash their checks, I don't slapped around. That's the deal. And it's a pretty good deal. So, don't screw this up for me."

"Sam, I cannot just pretend like this didn't happen. You're fifteen years old. There has to be something better for you."

"You seem nice." Sam stood up and shrugged her bag onto her shoulder, making her way to the door. She was done listening to all of this. "But I'm not your girl. I'm not anybody's girl. It happens."

"Sam!" Haley tried to stop her from leaving, but was only answered by a closed classroom door.

"Well." Ava forced a petulant little smile on her face as she got up. "That went well, wouldn't you say?"

"Sit down, Ava. We're not done here."

"What else is there to talk about? She doesn't want your help and I'm not going behind her back and calling child services. Not again. She might end up somewhere worse than she is now."

"This isn't about Sam." Haley told her. "This is about you."

"What's the problem, then?"

"Your attitude is the problem." Haley glared. "I know it's hard. I understand, I do. We've been giving you time and we've been really, really patient with you. But your attitude is just getting worse with the time we're giving you. Your brother is at the end of his rope and I don't know what else to do for you."

Ava's eyes rolled and her arms crossed as Haley continued to lecture her.

She needed to get to homeroom and this was a waste of time.

"Is this gonna take long? I have to get to class."

"See, that right there?" Haley pointed a finger at her. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. You're bottling up your emotions and it's getting to the point where you're taking your frustrations out on the people who love you and want to help you."

"So, what do you want from me?"

"I want you to come to us and talk about what you're feeling. I want you to acknowledge that you're not okay right now and stop ignoring that. I want you to let yourself heal."

"I am healing, Haley."

"No, you're not. You're doing the complete opposite."

"Whatever."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Can I go now? Or do you wanna sing the theme to 'Barney' before I go?"

"Yeah, you can go." Haley waved a dismissive hand. "But don't make any plans after school."

"Why?"

"Because you're not running away from this anymore, Ava. We're not gonna let you."

"Taking a trip down memory lane?" Nathan asked his father after finding him in the school hallways.

"I was just dropping Jamie off."

After Dan had saved Haley, Deb, Jamie, and Ava, both Nathan and Haley decided to allow the man to pick Jamie up from school so that the two could bond.

Dan was giving Ava her space, hoping that one day, she'd eventually come to him to talk. He didn't want to push her into doing anything she didn't want to do.

"I know."

"I heard about Quentin Fields. I'm sorry. He was a good basketball player and a good kid."

"Yeah, you should know. It's a tragedy." Nathan moved closer to him, maintaining a comfortable distance. "Makes you wonder how somebody could do something like that."

"It was good to see you, son." Dan wasn't going to rehash a conversation that they had had over a hundred times. He didn't have the stamina for it right now.

"You saved my wife. You saved my son. You saved my sister. But you killed my uncle, right here where I'm standing. I don't know where that leaves us. At least my son and your daughter love you."

Nathan knew Ava still loved Dan. He saw it every single time he was brought up as the topic of conversation, he saw it whenever she fiddled with the bracelet their father bought her for her birthday (which she always had on her wrist), and he saw it whenever he looked into her eyes.

"And my son hates me."

"Both of them."

"Hi." Dan greeted his daughter, who had just turned the corner.

"Hi." Ava responded dully. She obviously hadn't expected either of them to be there.

"Are you feeling alright?" He checked in on her.

"I'm fine." She shrugged. "How's your leg?"

"It's healing."

"Good….bye, Dan." Ava turned her attention to her brother as Dan smiled and walked away, before she glared at him.

"Hello to you, too Ava."

"Yeah, hi." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm glad to see your mood has improved since this morning."

"Whatever. Haley told me I had to stay with you this afternoon."

What teenager wanted to spend time with her older brother after school?

"Yeah, I wanna talk to you." He took her hand in his and led her out of the building, internally grateful that she didn't put up a fuss, because then he might've had to carry her to the car. "Let's go."

"What if I don't wanna talk?" Ava asked, climbing into the front seat of his car.

"Then you can listen."

Ava huffed as he began driving down the street and turned on the radio. She needed some noise to fill the silence.

So far, there was nothing good playing, but she was positive she'd find something.

"Leave that alone." Nathan smacked her hand and shut it off.

"Ow!" Ava gasped, sending him a sharp look. "Have you lost your mind?!"

"No, but you have." He answered, his eyes remaining on the road ahead.

Ava just responded by slumping in her seat and massaging the hand that had been hit. "Haley already talked to me."

"And you're still acting like this? Ava, I've tried to be patient, but you're really starting to tick me off."

"I'm starting to tick you off?" She scoffed.

Unbelievable! Why didn't anyone understand that she didn't want their help? She didn't need them to butt into her business like she was some little kid!

"Yes, Ava. You." Nathan nodded as he made a left. "Look, a lot has happened. I get it. I'm sorry. If I could take all of that pain away from you and carry it myself, I would. But I can't. And you can't hold that against me, or the rest of the family. We're trying our best here."

"I'm trying."

"No, you're not! You're letting this eat away at you." He shook his head, stopping at a red light. "Let me ask you something, if Keith was still here, would you be like this? Because I don't think you would, but maybe you have a different answer for me."

Ava didn't answer that.

She knew what the response was.

A hard no.

If Keith were still here, then that meant that the hole in her heart wouldn't be there and she wouldn't be at such odds with Dan.

She'd still be hurting for Q, but she'd have Keith.

….And Keith would never have let her get this far. He would have never let her act this way.

"Anytime Haley and I try to say something, you bite our heads off, you don't talk to Lucas or Peyton, I have to give your mother updates on how you're doing because you send her to voicemail every chance you get, Linda hasn't heard from you in weeks, and Jamie is afraid to talk to you with all your mood swings. Is this really how you want to live, Ava? Something's gotta give, Babygirl." He sighed. "You remember when you told us that you felt like you weren't being heard? Well, we're listening to you now, Pidge. We can only do so much."

She was hurting and that was okay.

What wasn't okay, was her taking her pain out on everyone else.

She knew that, but Nathan had just snapped her out of her funk. She needed to stop this.

Now.

She wasn't just destroying herself.

"So, how'd it go with Brooke?" Nathan asked Haley, smiling softly when she put her feet up on his lap.

Haley had actually approached Brooke to ask her how she felt about fostering Sam. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try.

"She's just not ready to take in a rebellious teenager right now."

"Well…..she could stay with us."

"No." Haley shook her head. "I thought about that, but Jamie's been through so much. It's just not a good time for him. And Ava's about the only rebellious teenager I can handle for right now."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Speaking of, did you talk to her?"

"Yeah, I talked to her." Nathan sighed.

"How'd it go?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if I got through."

"Give it a little more time."

"Hi." Ava pushed some stray hair out of her face as the wind blew it wildly. "It's been a long time….."

After her talk with Nathan, she needed to get away.

So, she went somewhere she hadn't been in years.

She went to visit Keith.

"I'm sorry, I never came to visit you after…" She sniffled as her nose ran from being out in the cold. "But it was just too hard, you know? Sometimes…..I get up in the morning and I forget that you're not here anymore and it— it doesn't feel good."

The leaves on the trees rustled and Ava sat down to make herself comfortable, her legs aching from her walk around town.

"Anyway….I have a lot to tell you." She laughed despite herself. "Uh, Dan? He saved me. Twice. I don't really know how to feel about him right now, because you're here because of him…..but it feels like he's trying to change. And I feel like I'm betraying you or something by just being civil…..but I can't help it. I'm sorry. I'm— it's hard."

Ava remembered something she had brought with her and pulled it out of the pocket of her sherpa jacket.

"I, uh, I made this for you." She spoke once again. "It's a flower necklace…..forget-me-nots, remember? I made it into a necklace 'cause I figured that it'd be windy and I didn't want the flowers to blow away." She sighed, placing it down carefully. "I had this boyfriend…..Quentin Fields? We called him, Q. He was my first boyfriend…my first love. He was shot recently and I haven't really been myself. He was gonna propose to me…..that's what this ring is."

Her fingers found the beautiful piece of jewelry gifted to her and twisted around a few times to compose herself.

"We weren't gonna get married like Nathan and Haley, we were gonna do it after college when we had our lives together." She fiddled with the band. "I've been pretty awful ever since I found out. I didn't mean to be, but I have been. You wouldn't be very proud of me….but I'm gonna be better, I promise."

The girl shivered as the wind cut through her jacket and blue jeans as the temperature began to drop. The sun was going to and it would be dark soon, so she had to wrap this up.

"I just…..I feel like sometimes everything just keeps on piling up on me. But it's my fault, because I let it. But I— I really need you." Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. "I didn't want to come here, because that meant that I had to admit that you're never coming back and I can't— I don't want to let you go. I can't let you go. I need you to be here with me. But you can't be…..I know that. So, I'm gonna keep you right here." She wrapped a hand around the locket he had given her for ninth birthday that was sitting right above her chest. "Because that's where you said you'd always be, and I'm gonna make you proud, because that's what you deserve."

The teen brought her corduroy sleeve up to her face to wipe her tears away from her cheeks.

"I can't keep holding onto you the way I have been. It isn't healthy, not for me and not for everyone around me. You certainly wouldn't want me crying over you every single time your name was mentioned." She couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous that sounded. "You and Q are gone, but that doesn't mean I have to lose myself. I love you, Uncle Keith. Thanks for the talk."

"Hey." Peyton furrowed her eyebrows as Ava walked through the kitchen door.

It was her home, but Peyton hadn't really seen much of her lately and was surprised by her presence.

"Hi." Ava forced a smile.

"Lucas is on his way back." Peyton figured maybe she'd want to wait for her brother to come home from his book tour to talk to him.

"Yeah….he called me earlier."

"Good."

This was awkward.

"I'm sorry." Ava blurted. "I've been awful and I understand if you're really mad at me. I've been pushing everyone away and I shouldn't have been. I'm just…really sorry."

"Ava." Peyton placed her hands on the girl's shoulders. "I'm not upset. I do appreciate your apology, though. I understand why you've been acting this way. Trust me."

"You do?"

"Look who you're talking to!" Peyton laughed. She couldn't believe Ava had asked her that. "I was the queen of suffering alone in high school. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I didn't get any better until I started letting people help me."

"Yeah…..I really am sorry."

"I know you are. I forgive you." Peyton noticed the girl was trembling in her hold. "Are you cold?"

"A little…I took a walk."

"Ava, it's like, forty degrees out there!"

"Really?" Ava shivered as her teeth began to chatter. "I couldn't tell."

"I'll make you some hot cocoa." The blonde rolled her eyes, walking over to the stove. "In the meantime, you take a hot shower and get into your pajamas before you get sick."

"I'll warm up in a minute." Ava hugged her jacket tighter around herself, but once she caught the nasty look Peyton was giving her, she smiled sheepishly and did as she was told. "On second thought, that shower sounds really nice."

"Mhm."

"It's late, shouldn't she be in bed?" Lucas asked Peyton, referring to his sister who was sleeping on the couch with the tv on in the background. Evidently, she had fallen asleep during a rerun of 'The Nanny'.

Gracie had just given up her 'imaginary friend', Imogen now that Fran was in her life. She didn't need Imogen anymore, she wasn't lonely now that she knew she had a companion and friend in Fran.

Lucas had gotten back home an hour before and had just finished changing into something to sleep in when he noticed the teen sprawled out on the couch.

His book tour hadn't really been successful, but Lucas saw this as a bit of a win.

He didn't need to spend weeks away from his fiancé, who was the girl of his dreams. He got to stay at home and be with her.

"She wanted to be awake when you got home."

Look how well that turned out.

"Seriously?" Lucas raised an eyebrow. "She won't answer my calls, but she'll wait up all night for me?"

"Actually we talked about that earlier. She knows she'd been a little difficult and she's sorry."

"She wasn't difficult." Lucas relaxed as she ran her fingers through his hair. "She was in love."

"She's gonna get through it."

"I know." He sighed. "I should get her to bed."

Lucas kissed Peyton's forehead and walked over to his sister's sleeping form, expertly scooping her up in one fluid motion.

"Why don't you put her in our room?" Peyton suggested before he could go anywhere. "She shouldn't be alone tonight."

"Are you sure? She can sleep in her own room." Lucas didn't want to impose on his fiancé. He knew that Peyton missed him and was excited to finally have him home.

"Lucas. You're not the only one that loves her."

Lucas couldn't help but smile at that and nodded. "Alright. Thank you."

And that's how the three ended their night.

Nuzzled and cuddled together in a warm bed.

A/N: I decided to go a different route with Ava's grieving process. I don't like seeing her upset all of the time, so I wanted there to be a silver lining. She's learning how to let people in again. This is a tough burden to bear alone, but she's realizing that she doesn't have to do it alone.