Kotetsu sighed and leaned back in his chair, pressing his palms into his eyes as he tried to will the tears that were forming to go away. He hated how weak he felt thinking about his old life and how desperately he wanted it back. How desperately he wanted to be a Hero beside Barnaby again. He heard footsteps and quickly threw his arms down to his sides sitting upright and pretending to just be getting off the phone.
His mother walked in a moment later and smiled at him "morning my wonderful son," she said and ran her fingers through his hair as she walked over to the coffee pot, taking a steaming mug of it and shuffling back out of the kitchen, calling over her shoulder "Kaede is about to leave, you should go say a farewell to her at the very least."
Kotetsu sighed again and pushed himself up from the table, heading into the adjoining room just as Kaede was sliding her shoes on in the front entrance.
"Ittekimasu!" She called without even looking back her hand already on the door to leave.
"Itterasshai," Kotetsu said softly watching her go. He was surprised to see her head spin around and look at him, her eyes wide.
"Dad! You're up!" She smiled brightly at him, leaving Kotetsu puzzled as the last time he got up with her she had yelled at him about not being a baby. He had avoided getting up with her the last few weeks because of it. He had also stopped making her lunches when she said they were too "embarrassing" because he made everything tiger shaped.
"Ya baby, I always get up and watch ya go," it wasn't a lie, not entirely. He usually stayed in bed, but he would watch her from his bedroom window run for the school bus. Or cheat and use her copied hundred power to just run to school. He hadn't called her out on it, he did the same thing when he was her age, so who was he to talk.
She blushed bright red at that "daaaaaad!" She whined stomping her foot a bit before pushing the door open "you are so embarrassing!" But she had a smile on her face, the first one he had caused for her in what felt like weeks. It lifted his spirits a bit.
She waved a hand behind her before launching out the door, the screen door bouncing back into place as she skipped down the road towards the bus stop.
He moved back into the kitchen, his mother was sitting in there now enjoying her coffee while she read the paper. He sighed inwardly and sat down. Another day, another hourglass of time with nothing to do to fill it. His mother lowered the newspaper and looked at him.
"You know, she says she is embarrassed by you, but that doesn't mean you just stop trying," she picked her paper back up after that.
"But when I push too hard she just hates me more. And when I give her space she hates me. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, I don't think I am made for this fatherhood thing. I wish Tomoe was still here, she was great at this stuff…" he whined as he twisted the ring around his finger.
"Tomoe didn't have to raise a teenager unless you count looking after you and Antonio when you were all kids. She had the easy stuff; kissing boo-boos better and reading stories. You are a good father Kotetsu; you just need to have a bit more confidence in yourself. Look how much you helped the other Heroes, look at how much Barnaby changed," She wasn't looking at him as she said all this, just flipping through the paper.
"Thanks ma," he said reaching into a basket of fruit on the table and taking a banana. He had flinched at Barnaby's name; as usual, his ex-partner's name was enough to shock his system. He kept the smile on his face, even if his mother wasn't looking at him, it would help keep his voice even. "I'm gonna go for a jog and see if the shrine keepers need any help today," he turned and walked towards the stairs to go upstairs and to his room to get changed, lobbing the banana peel at the kitchen wastebasket as he went, he missed, didn't notice, and just kept walking.
Ever since getting back to his hometown, he had yet to find a job. He helped out at Muramasa's liquor store but he wasn't needed there very often and usually made Muramasa grumpy by making mistakes. He had taken up helping out in town anyone who needed it. The shrine on the hill had needed a lot of help, rebuilding and clearing debris from the flood last year. He had helped with lots of the heavy lifting, even without his hundred power he was still in excellent shape while most of the shrine keepers were either young and had not trained a lot, or ancient and unable to help.
Helping out there helped keep his mind off of his depression over all the loss in his life, but whenever Kaede got mad at him, watched Hero TV, or anyone mentioned it or Barnaby it took everything in him not to spiral into a depressive episode. Losing his powers slowly had reminded him of his slow loss of Tomoe.
Tomoe had been his sun and he had orbited around her, basking in her warmth, light, and guidance. When she died it wasn't in the supernova it should have been, a wake of destruction so devastating it took all other life with it. No, it had been a black hole instead, quiet, slow, and only sucked the light out of those closest to it. Kotetsu had lost his light, but refused to show it to anyone, had taken up the mantle of being his own sun for others to orbit around, but never as closely as Tomoe, never as brightly, and definitely not as sincerely.
Kotetsu was many things, but a person who took loss well he was not. After tomoe died a little bit of him died with her, his exuberant personality that had always been a beacon of hope for others was now a facade. He put on smiles and gave inspiration, but it wasn't the same, didn't have the same drive or gumption behind it, just a mask to hide the black hole that Tomoe had left in his heart.
After meeting Barnaby though his smiles were a little less fake, his inspiration to others a little more heartfelt. By the time Jake was defeated Kotetsu was almost felt back to normal, the black hole had finally been closed up. But then the power loss came, and like a sucker punch to the soul, the black hole was torn open and he was slowly being sucked into its never-ending abyss. Saving his daughter and all the other Heroes had been his last final flash of bright light, his last moment of glory before his light, both metaphorically and quite literally, faded out forever. He was never going to be a Hero again, he was never going to love again, and he would give everything he had left to making his daughter happy. Even in that endeavour, he was failing, as Kaede had once more started to call him uncool for being home all the time, for being lazy. Kotetsu was at a loss for what he was supposed to do with his life, he couldn't seem to catch a break.
He made his way to the shrine, but as per his last few visits, the only thing that needed to be done was basic cleaning, which was a part of the shrine maiden's training. He offered to lend a hand should they ever need it, as always they could call him, and started walking back towards town. Perhaps someone needed help repainting their storefront or moving something heavy. His powers had somewhat evened out in the last few months. He was sitting around a minute and it hadn't gone down since. Every time he used it he kept track of how long it lasted, writing it down in that little notebook he had started his notes in over a year ago. He whistled while he walked hands in his pockets, hat carefully placed on his head.
He came into the main square and waved at people as he went, his goofy grin in place as he did so. Everyone knew he was Wild Tiger now, his face having been plastered all over the news as a murderer and then him in his old suit proclaiming he was the real Wild Tiger. Since then the people in town treated him a bit differently. Usually, he was called out by some of the older women for abandoning Kaede, now they just ignored him entirely. Others, when he first moved back, had come up to him and asked for pictures, autographs, and even thanked him for his service as a Hero. But after the novelty of having a local Hero wore off, everyone went back to treating him as usual, either ignoring him entirely or treating him like any other citizen.
He didn't mind the lack of attention; in fact, he often welcomed it because it felt more normal. Bunny had been the popular one, not him, never him. His time to be popular died with his number one fan.
Some of the younger merchants had smiled and waved back, he had helped many of them do repairs to their shops or helped them move stock from place to place. He was a local handyman, a skill he had acquired not by being Wild Tiger but rather Kotetsu T. Kaburagi, husband, son, and brother. Over the years he had had to fix many fixtures and ceilings from damaging them using his powers without meaning to or control. These skills translated to him being good with his hands when he and Tomoe moved to Sternbild into the townhouse they bought. It had been run down, absolutely in shambles when they bought it, which is how they afforded it. He had spent every waking minute when he wasn't off being a rookie Hero fixing the place.
Once he was done it was the nicest most renovated house on their block, he had even helped his neighbours on either side repair some outer damages and helped clean up their yards. Over the years the block became nicer and a respectable part of Bronze Stage, partially because of the nice new neighbours that were willing to help but more so the sudden interest of a young rookie Hero that just happened to be around at night keeping thugs off their street.
As Kotetsu walked and reminisced about his first year as a Hero and his time with Tomoe he completely forgot why he had come into town and ended up simply walking around until he sat down on a park bench. He remained sitting there day dreaming of his glory days for a good half hour before the local church bells chimed the hour. He looked at his watch and sighed; if he went home right now his mother would just be leaving for her afternoon tea with her gardening club group. If he waited a bit longer he could avoid bumping into her on her way out, thus eliminating an entire day of her nagging him to figure out what he was going to do with his life.
So he stretched and decided to get a bit of exercise before going home, he bent at the hips stretching downward until his palms were flush against the ground, no bend in his knees, he stretched his legs and back out, holding it for a good thirty seconds before shifting into a stretch leaning to the side as far as he could.
After working through a few more stretches to limber up he started jogging lightly around the park, making his way further from his home intending to circle back around and follow the far trail all the way back to his mother's place.
As he jogged his mind slipped back into daydreaming thinking about how nice it would be for Tomoe to still be alive, the two of them retired together, what she would have thought of him having a work partner. What she would have thought of Barnaby. She would have loved him, probably would have had to keep the two apart actually. He wasn't one to get jealous, but Barnaby was a hit with every woman he met and somehow he just knew that Tomoe would have eaten up his snide attitude and Prince Charming smiles. God knows Kotetsu had. As he rounded the corner to head back towards his mother's place he picked up the pace. Thinking of Tomoe always hurt, but somehow thinking about her as if she were alive and daydreaming about her and Barnaby having conversations and making fun of him put a smile on his face. He really missed her as well as Barnaby, but thinking about the two of them interacting was hilarious in his mind.
He could just see it, Tomoe pinching Barnaby's cheeks and calling him a cute Lil Bunny just to get a rise out of him, and Barnaby taking the bait. He laughed out loud as he ran thinking about it, he was less than a kilometre from home and barely felt tired from his run.
He slowed down as he approached the house, starting his cool-down jog so he wouldn't get sore from built-up lactic acid. Even though he was fit he still knew his body wasn't what is used to be and a bit of lactic acid could mean a Charley horse or cramps later in the day or while he slept.
He walked up the steps to the front door, fishing his keys out of his front pocket, unlocked the door and threw his keys down on the small table beside the entranceway; sliding his shoes off before stepping into the main house. "Tadaima," he said quietly to himself as he stepped further into the house, hoping no one was home to nag him about his life choices. He knew he needed to get off his ass and find something to do, but he didn't need to be reminded of it constantly, it wasn't helping.
He snuck through the house just in case, sliding into his room and locking the door behind him. He sat down on the edge of his bed and put his face in his hands, the cool band of metal around his finger pressed into his cheek. "Tomoe, what should I do?" He asked, his eyes peeking through the cracks in his fingers to look at a framed picture of her on his nightstand.
He let out a sigh and lay back on the bed, staring up at his ceiling his mind wandering back to the fun he had had imagining Tomoe and Barnaby interacting.
"Ah! Look at how poofy your hair gets!" Tomoe would have said while dragging her long fingers through Barnaby's bouncy curls. She had always loved running her fingers through Kotetsu's own hair, one of the many reasons he had kept it longer since he met her.
Barnaby would get all flustered, his nose would scrunch up and he would complain, but because he is always overly polite with everyone (especially pretty ladies), other than Kotetsu, he would endure it with a prince charming smile and maybe an off-hand comment like "yes, it's naturally curly, I go to the salon twice a month to keep it healthy."
Tomoe would tease him relentlessly about it, if she treated him even half as casually as she treated himself and Antonio, she would end up sitting in Barnaby's lap running her fingers through his hair just baiting him to finally admit he didn't like it. "Come on Bunny don't be a sour puss," she would say once he finally did grump at her.
Kotetsu smiled to himself as he felt he was starting to fall asleep laying on his bed, his imagination conjuring up images of his wonderfully lovable dead wife and his equally adorable ex-partner. He felt his consciousness begin to slip and he let himself fall into a nap, as he had nowhere else he needed to be.
He was laying on his bed in his home in Sternbild, it was summertime and he could feel the breeze from the window fan blowing across his overheated skin. His left arm was wrapped around his beloved, her long hair draped up and over the pillow beside him. She was snuggled into his neck and side; her soft breaths tickled his skin. He turned and smiled as he pressed his nose into the top of her head, taking a deep breath and just experiencing her smell, the light lavender scent of her shampoo, the soft musk of sweat from the heat of the room. His beard caught stands of her hair and he had to wiggle his jaw back and forth to try and free himself of her. All his shifting must have woken her, for she pulled her face from the crook of his shoulder and opened her deep hazel eyes. She looked up at him with a relaxed sleepy smile. He felt dazzled, she had barely moved and yet he felt his breath sucked out of him by her elegance, the natural grace of her body, the perfection of her smile.
He leaned forward and kissed her smooth full lips, gently taking her bottom one between his own, sucking ever so lightly, his tongue giving her lip a quick swipe before he pulled away. She grinned up at him, the dazzling brightness of her full smile nearly knocking him out. She laughed then, obviously at whatever face he must have made, and rolled on top of him, her hair draping over her shoulders like a curtain closing them off to the outside world.
"Morning sleepyhead," she said and leaned down grabbing his top lip with her own, sucking it into her mouth and giving it a little nip. He, in turn, pulled her lower lip back into his own mouth, teeth grazing over it, his tongue sliding across the surface of it. She tilted her head ever so slightly to the left, allowing a little more space for their noses, a little more air for them to breathe. She deepened the kiss, pressing his lips apart with her own, her tongue sliding into his mouth, running across his teeth, along the roof of his mouth before gracing his tongue with a playful roll.
He smiled into the kiss, letting her take the lead and pressing his mouth against hers, his lips splayed wide over top of hers, allowing her access to the inside of his mouth. Her hair brushed against his cheeks, resting on his chest and shoulders, wrapped around them like a blanket, giving them privacy. His hands were on her hips, holding her in place. Her hands were braced on either side of his head, holding her up as she continued to delve into his mouth.
He closed his eyes as he kissed her, pulling her gently to the side, rolling them over so they could lie together more relaxed. His lips never leaving hers as they shifted, bodies moving together as one, a team so perfect he knew that there was no other explanation than that she was the other half of his soul. He felt the kiss shift, her lips pressing more firmly into him now, more aggressively, he loved this side of her, the possessive side that no one else got to see, the one reserved only for him when they were alone. She had her arms wound around his neck, fingers pressed into his nape, winding through his hair and rubbing circles with the tips. He pressed back against her, his hands exploring her body, shifting from her middle back to across her shapely behind, her smooth skin under his calloused fingers felt like silk and honey. His hands roamed down her thighs as far as he could reach before sliding back up over her tight pert little ass, he gave it a squeeze and kept moving back up her back, onto her shoulders and neck, then slowly back down. She let out a little giggle each time he squeezed her butt, which only made him squeeze at it more. With her giggles she had lost her upper hand in the kiss, so he slid his tongue between her lips, invading her mouth and pressing his advantage. She allowed him to roam her mouth, her own tongue only gently nudging against his, her lips pressing and releasing over and over, sucking his lips in and out of her own.
Their breath was coming out a bit faster, the air was hot and wet with summer and her hair had wound around them as they shifted. He raised a hand up to brush the long strands away and met much less resistance than he had expected, eyes opening to see why her hair suddenly felt so short.
He blinked his eyes, his face still pressed so closely to hers during the kiss that he couldn't see properly, for Tomoe's features looked very different suddenly. Pulling back from the kiss, lips popping apart, a trail of spit strung from tongues and lips, Kotetsu focused his gaze on the lover in front of him. Emerald green eyes stared back, sharp defined jawline, straight flat gorgeous nose, and golden curls bouncing with the gentle movement of their owner. Barnaby Brooks Jr., the hottest bachelor in Sternbild three years running, was staring back at him, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, and a look of such lust in his eyes that Kotetsu worried he might get pregnant.
"B-Bunny?!" was the strangled cry that came out of his mouth, the shock of seeing his ex-partner instead of his dead wife was more intense than he had ever experienced. His heart had jumped into his throat, as his hands were still firmly held on the opposite's very fine ass, his legs twined between the others, and his mouth still mere millimetres away. He gulped as Barnaby gave him the sultriest smile he had ever experienced, leaning forward and pressing his lips once more to Kotetsu's.
Unlike Tomoe who he had memorized the exact texture, taste, smell, and feeling of, Barnaby was a mystery. He could feel the other, his intensity was unrivalled, his exuberance unmatched, he had twisted himself on top of Kotetsu, pressing him into the mattress, Barnaby's tongue delving deep into his mouth, exploring, twisting, and tasting every little crevice. But there was no taste, no texture, only pressure, and wetness, it felt nice, but not real, not like when he kissed her, not like when he remembered what it was like to kiss her. He wanted more, he wanted to know the real thing, what Barnaby tasted like, smelled like, felt like, what the inside of his mouth's temperature was: everything.
The two broke apart, Kotetsu panting, Barnaby smirking. "Can't keep up old man?" he said before leaning in to press Kotetsu back into the mattress, hips grinding down into him. Kotetsu pressed himself up into the body above him, the summer heat exponentially hotter pressed under the hot body of the other. The strong muscles rippling against his own as Barnaby shifted, to press his hips down onto Kotetsu's hard cock, rocking rhythmically against him. "This is what you want isn't it old man? You want this young sexy body?" Barnaby said pressing harder into him.
Kotetsu groaned and looked up into Barnaby's eyes, but he wasn't looking down at him anymore with the love and lust that had been there before, but a look of disgust. His face twisted into a sneer. "As if I would ever want you," he said before the bed fell out from underneath Kotetsu and he started falling into a swirling vortex of purple haze and inky blackness.
Kotetsu sat up with a shout, sweat dripping over his body, tears streaming down his face. He looked around the room, the light from the afternoon sun was pouring in, and even with it being autumn the heat of the sun had raised the temperature of his room to a sweltering degree. The dream, having left him dazed and confused, he looked at the time, tears still dripping down his face as he tried to regain his composure. Only just after noon, plenty of time before anyone was to be home.
He lay himself back down, letting the devastating pain in his heart take over.
He had rarely dreamt of Tomoe the last few years, not since meeting Barnaby, and he had never dreamt of them together like that, never conflated his love for Tomoe for his affection for Barnaby. He felt a sob tear its way out of his throat, the tears rolling down his cheeks and soaking into the pillow he held to his chest.
Why, why had his mind decided to dream of things he could never have? Why did it have to taunt him with such sweet love from his wife, and adoration from Barnaby? He could never have either of them, could never be with them; why had he tormented himself with these thoughts? He needed to move on, needed to get over his lost love, his lost powers — his lost life.
It didn't matter how much he knew he needed to move on, he was trapped in the past, his heart still torn asunder, the black hole had spread, and was slowly gobbling him up. He lay there and cry, his sobs wrenching out of him in great cascades. Since the loss of his powers, since the loss of being a Hero and breaking his promise to Tomoe, and leaving Barnaby, he had not cried, not really. But now he mourned, he mourned for his life.