Kotetsu was furious, absolutely one hundred percent furious. Ok, maybe ninety percent furious ten percent elated. Barnaby being back was great in that he knew his ex-partner wasn't dead or being tortured. It was downright awful because it meant that Barnaby didn't care about him nearly as much as he had thought (hoped?). It also meant that their partnership may never be the same again. How could he do this? Not call, not text, hell a postcard! A telegram! Show up on a goddamned fansite! Bigfoot had more sightings than Barnaby over the last year!
He let out a huge sigh as he walked through the halls of Apollon Media towards the exit. He stopped before he even reached the doors. Where would they go that no one would recognize this idiot? How had he hidden himself for a whole year? If they were going out drinking to talk, he didn't want to be interrupted.
"Kotetsu?" Barnaby spoke questioningly as he came to a stop.
"Trying to figure out where we can go that you aren't going to draw the attention of every goddamned person in the city," Kotetsu said before turning around to face his ex-partner. "How did you manage to not been seen by paparazzi, fans, hell security cameras, for a whole year?" He asked with a bewildered look on his face.
"Well… when I was abroad, I'm really not as famous as here… it was easier to blend in most places. Once I was back in Sternbild I don't think anyone was actively looking for me so... change my glasses, cover my hair with a hat, wear different clothes… had a beard for a bit," his cheeks got a little pink at the end.
"Bunny with a beard, eh? Trying to match this Old Man?" Kotetsu said scratching at his own beard, he couldn't help but fall back into their old ways, teasing Barnaby was one of his favourite pastimes. He forced the playful smile from his face. "Well that doesn't help us now, you are going to stick out like a sore thumb. So… I'm guessing you still have your apartment right? My place isn't unpacked yet."
"Yeah, I still have it… full liquor cabinet too," Barnaby admitted looking towards the parkade doors. "My car is here as well, I can drive us there?" If Kotetsu wasn't so mad at Barnaby right then he would have thought he was being awfully cute with his head tilted slightly towards the parkade doors, hopeful look in his eyes.
"Fine, but only because you said 'full liquor cabinet'," Kotetsu grumbled as he started toward the parkade.
Barnaby, true to his nickname, practically hopped to keep up with him, quickly rushing forward to get the door. Someone in his life must have taught him "be extra nice to the person who is mad at you" because he was being the perfect gentleman.
The two drove in silence, Kotetsu was sure this was not Barnaby's preferred mode of travel, as he kept making quick glances his way. But he wasn't ready to talk, not yet, he needed time to think. The longer he was near Barnaby the angrier he got. He wasn't just "not dead" he looked amazing. Was Kotetsu's memory faulty, or had Barnaby always looked this good? He knew he was attractive (anyone with eyes knew that) but the way the light caught his alabaster skin, it almost shone it was so perfect. His eyes as well, crystal clear, beautiful emerald. So focused on his trauma before that they always had a haze of anger in them. Not now, now there was peace in those eyes; they reminded him of the perfect few weeks after they defeated Jake.
As they pulled into Barnaby's apartment complex, but before they reached the underground parking he breaks the silence, "Kotetsu, if you want to be alone tonight, I can drive you somewhere else…" he says while looking straight ahead, knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel.
The request surprises him, Bunny had looked like a kid on Christmas to be asked to come out to drinks, but now… those haunted eyes were back. Barnaby looked like someone had just kicked his dog. He must have taken the silent car ride harder than Kotetsu thought, probably overthinking things per usual in that big head of his. "No, Bar-Bunny," he wasn't used to saying his nickname, so used to avoiding it for the last year, "let's go deal with this, the last time we didn't sit down and talk something through I got a laser beam to the chest," It was meant to be a joke, but Barnaby looked even more hurt now, but he did as he was told and pulled his car underground and parked it in his stall.
Kotetsu got out and stretched. "ugh, I always forget your car was made for a lovely lady passenger, not a full-grown man…" he said as he rotated his shoulder.
"Sorry, I didn't know any old men when I bought this car," Barnaby said with the same shit-eating grin he always wore whenever he said something snide.
"Riiiiight, well lead the way," Kotetsu said motioning with his left hand to get going, his right tucked into his pocket. The two of them made their way into Barnaby's apartment, which was just about as bare as it had been when Kotetsu last visited, the only difference being the addition of some barstools beside the kitchen island.
"Wow, I see you spruced the place up," Kotetsu said motioning to the stools. Barnaby shrugged at that.
"I've never really needed much in this space, the stools were added out of necessity more than aesthetic," he said offhandedly, making his way into the kitchen pulling out glasses. "Wine, or something stronger?" he asked holding up two wine glasses in one hand, a whiskey glass in his other.
"Whiskey for me, unless you have sochu," he took a seat at the counter, the stools were actually a lot nicer than he expected. Plush seated, with a small raised section at the back to support your lower back. "You gonna name this place Bunny's Bar?" he said while motioning to how he was sitting, waiting to be served a drink.
"Ha ha, very funny, no. I usually don't invite people over, other than you," it was true Barnaby didn't really socialize much, which is one of the main reasons why it hurt so much that he wasn't the first to be contacted and informed that he was ok, and back in town no less.
"Well maybe that should change, seeing as you don't need to have me over as much, what with you being so close to Antonio and Agnes all of a sudden…" he knew he wasn't being fair about that, that obviously there was more going on, but he felt betrayed.
Barnaby practically slammed a glass of whiskey down in front of him. "You know what Old Man, not everything is about you all the time. I know I messed up, but I was messed up," he started pacing back and forth in the kitchen, feet slapping against the tile in his anger. "When the dreams started I was in another country, I barely knew where I was without being fucked up in the head," he jabbed fingers at his head in frustration as he spoke, then started pacing again. "I had this desperate need to try and do things on my own. I wanted to prove that Maverick didn't control me anymore, that I could do this on my own. But when things got worse, I knew I couldn't do this on my own, but I refused to disturb your family, to put you through more than I already had," he stopped pacing and turned to look squarely at Kotetsu, eyes blazing and jaw set. "Damnit Kotetsu don't you get it? This is the same fucking thing you pulled with me last year; I must have picked up stupid from you. I didn't tell you about my problems for the same reason you didn't tell me about your power loss, you didn't want me to worry; didn't want to be a burden."
Barnaby finished this by snatching the glass of whiskey he had just poured back off the counter and taking a huge gulp of it and then sitting down in a huff on the stool next to Kotetsu.
Kotetsu was silent, that rant was more than he had been expecting, and yet somehow it all made sense. Barnaby was pulling the same stupid move he had pulled so many times, tried to solve everything on his own. He sat contemplating what Barnaby had just said and it dawned on him why he was so angry. "But to not call, not once the entire time you were gone. You never thought to check in with anyone even once? You didn't have to tell us about your problems, but a quick 'hey, I'm in Rome looking at naked people statues, talk to you later!' would have been nice!" Kotetsu said taking a small sip of the whiskey Barnaby had poured him, though nearly gone thanks to him downing it. It was top shelf, of course, Bunny couldn't help but buy the good stuff.
Barnaby sat staring at the counter for a while until he seemed to give up. He just deflated, all his energy seemed to leave him. A softer voice came out now, he sounded so young all of a sudden, "I didn't know that none of you didn't know where I was and that I wasn't alright. I've never had to check in with anyone but Maverick my entire life. Maverick always had tabs on me, always set a curfew for me, never let me be my own person. When I was younger I thought he was just strict, now I realise he was literally controlling every aspect of my life. So yes, I didn't want anyone else to have that kind of control on me, so I cut ties with everyone that didn't matter. You were the only person I ever once thought about contacting in that whole time I was away. Yet you were the only one I didn't want to burden with my problems," he turned then to look up at Kotetsu, tears in his eyes. "I've never had anyone to worry over me other than Aunt Samantha, and with her gone I just… I don't know, I was an idiot," he turned back to face the counter, head hanging.
Kotetsu wanted so badly to reach over and scoop Barnaby into a hug. To squeeze every last ounce of sadness out of him, but he held back. Barnaby needed to learn this lesson and coddling him now wouldn't help. "So when you got back to Sternbild and contacted people, why was I still not contacted? Why did you not get in touch right away?" He had to know, had to be told that he just didn't matter anymore.
Barnaby was silent for a moment before turning in his barstool once more to fully face Kotetsu. "I didn't contact you because I was afraid you would come running back to Sternbild and leave your family, leave Kaede… that you would put my life before yours like you always do," tears actually spilt out of his eyes, slowly sliding down his cheeks. "I lost my parents when I was young, Kaede deserves to spend time with hers… and you deserve to spend time with your family."
"Aw Bunny…" Kotetsu couldn't take it anymore; he reached forward and pulled Barnaby into an awkward hug as they both still sat on Barstools. "You are my family," he whispered more to himself than to Barnaby. Obviously he was heard because Barnaby took a sharp breath in before sliding off his barstool and moving closer to Kotetsu. Barnaby had his arms wrapped so tightly around him that Kotetsu was sure he would have bruises, and he thought Kaede hugged too tight.
A shudder ran through Barnaby as he took in a deeper breath, obviously trying to calm himself down. "I missed you, Old Man," was all he said as he continued to stand there holding onto him almost desperately.
Kotetsu sighed and ran his hands up and down Barnaby's back trying to soothe him. How did it turn out like this? Wasn't Barnaby supposed to be the rational one? But how could he stay mad? Barnaby was obviously going through things, though he was an idiot for not calling, he couldn't really blame him. "It's ok now Bunny, I'm back… I missed you too," he said as he kept running his hands up and down Barnaby's back.
The two stayed like that for a few minutes more until Barnaby finally pulled away, adjusting his glasses and sitting back down. "I really was going to call you tonight," he said before picking the whiskey bottle up and pouring more into Kotetsu's glass, which apparently was both their glass now, as Barnaby took another sip from it.
"You really didn't know I was in town until tonight then?" He asked picking up the whiskey glass and taking a sip.
"No, I was on my way to Apollon to see everyone else when I saw you on the big screens, almost crashed my car," Barnaby said with a small laugh.
"So you just what… sped to Apollon, got in your suit and tracked me down?" He was so confused, how had Barnaby even gotten there that fast?
"Basically ya, Saitou thankfully already had my suit prepped, I got into it and raced over to where you were, ditched my bike up on Gold stage and jumped down to silver where you were… I wasn't even thinking. As soon as I saw you, saw you were back in town, back being a Hero I just snapped. I had to see you, right then," his eyes were downcast once more.
"Ya know, that is something I would have done… maybe my stupid is rubbing off on you," Kotetsu said before reaching over and ruffling Barnaby's hair.
The two spent the rest of the night like this, talking things over, Kotetsu explaining how he managed to become a hero again (heavily edited and the same story he had told his mother, that Kaede thought he was uncool, not that he desperately wanted to be a Hero again).
Barnaby explained how the dreams had started and when. Examined how they left him in a state of confusion afterwards and that he often had to piece back together his memories (heavily edited as it was with his therapist, he didn't need to go into detail about the fact that he was remembering his first crushes from university).
By the end of the night, they had gone through half that whiskey bottle, a bottle of wine and at least a few beers. They ended up passed out on the floor of Barnaby's living room, much like the first time Kotetsu had been over.