Chapter 14: Answering the Call
Sleep was going to be hard to come by that night.
After calming Erin down outside, James did not hang around in the front garden of the Quinn house for long, driving home to have his dinner and contemplate the news. It may not have been the first time he'd thought about what it truly meant to him, but it was the first time when the stakes were clearly so high. When he'd got home though, he found himself confronted with a further battle of his emotions.
A second letter from mum.
The letter was addressed to him at the bank again, and as the McLoughlin brothers knew where he lived, one of them must have dropped it through his letterbox whilst he was out. With the news that he'd learned at the Quinn house combined with the new letter, it made Friday evening particularly difficult. He didn't open the letter immediately, getting himself something to eat first and trying to distract himself from the world with anything he could until it came to bed. Sat out in the garden where he'd enjoyed himself with Erin and Anna that afternoon, the joyous laughter was nothing more than a memory already. Laughter would not be Europe's chorus any longer.
It wasn't until he finally clambered under the covers that night, that were lonelier without Erin's presence beneath them, that he finally decided to read it.
Dear James,
I feel I have to start every letter to you with an apology. I have barely been able to live with myself for not finding the right moment to write a second letter to you. I am truly sorry my beautiful boy.
Life here in Switzerland has taken a dramatic turn for me, which is the reason for why it has taken me so long to write to you. I know this will come as a shock to you and it really did to me, but sometimes you have to stick with your beliefs in the moment, as not all chances come around again.
I've married.
The Lord who I work for, we fell in love not long after I wrote the first letter to you and we married at the end of July. I did not expect to find a man like the Lord but as I have said above, life occasionally throws these once in a lifetime opportunities that must be taken without hesitation. I know you've often been the only man in my life, so this hopefully takes the strain off of you when you come to live with us here. If you want too of course. I should not presume, as you may be enjoying life in Derry and I would not want to pull you away from it. I just want you to know that the offer is there should you wish to take it up.
With the privilege of marriage comes the privilege of being able to give you our address, which I will write at the bottom of this letter. You come with the highest regard to the Lord after I informed him of your ability as a pilot and banker. He would be delighted to welcome you even if only for a day, although you must write to us to arrange the day. His schedule can be quite demanding you see and mine can be too.
Although, I fear our meeting may be postponed for the foreseeable future. I am sure you are receiving the same reports as we are about the aggression from Germany against anyone who tries stopping whatever it is that they are doing. The word war is banded around a lot here in the town and it scares me James. Germany is not so far away but the Lord ensures me that there are defences in place that will keep us safe. Of course, you may have choices to make yourself about fighting, though I trust you will make the right one.
Please give my best regards to Deirdre, Martin and Michelle. Has Michelle found herself a man yet? I do fear for the young men of Derry even with the limited knowledge I have of her!
When we will speak again, I do not know, but I nonetheless look forward to your letter in return should you wish to send one.
I love you my big handsome boy.
Your loving Mother Kathy, Lady Aregger.
Married.
A Swiss Noblewoman.
It was both a surprise and an expectation, he thought, putting down the letter. If anyone could adjust to life in a new country so quickly and to such an extent where they'd entered the nobility of the country at the same time, then it would be his mother. Kathy's talents when it came to the high life were incredible. The difference from the first letter startled him, as he came away from the second without the worries he had carried from the first. He was happy for her… and he had enough worries of his own without adding any extra ones.
His only concern came from hers over the threat of Germany. Knowing what was now happening with Poland on one of their borders, Switzerland was sat precariously on another, with the Italians waiting on the southern side too. A country which would always opt for neutrality appeared to be in one of the worst positions of all. The defences that she'd mentioned in the letter would need to be sturdy to withstand any attacks from either side.
That was all he could find himself to be concerned about though when it came to his mother, which was very fortunate for him. His concerns would all be directed to Erin. Erin and the conversation that they would be having the following morning.
But that would wait until the morning.
With a rush of thoughts after finishing the letter, James knew that going to sleep would be impossible. So instead, he lit a candle and placed it on the desk in the corner of his bedroom. Getting a pen and some paper, he wrote his reply.
Dear Mum,
Just now I am sat in my bedroom in the cottage that you so brilliantly selected for me, burning the midnight oil to write this reply to you. Pen touching paper feels as if you were back by my side like you have always been throughout my life. You might be miles away from me by road, but you will never be allowed out of my heart.
I have so much that I wish to tell you, but I want to focus on you first. I am delighted over your marriage. It feels very strange to write to your own mother to congratulate her on marrying a man who is not your father. A conventional life is not one that you have always led, a truth which I only value you more for. Like you though, I fear from the latest news about Germany that this visit may not be for a while. Perhaps next summer when all of this aggression has been put to bed, I may come to see you. I found some information from the Library on Martigny and I hear that it is a beautiful place in the Valais region of Switzerland. Your life sounds almost too good to be true. I am so happy for you that it is though.
The job that you helped to secure for me at the Ulster Bank has been a highlight of my time so far. After an initial period of scepticism about my job there, I feel I've thrived under the pressures of what the job entails. Every day seems to bring a new challenge and a monotony that I expected to be present rarely shows itself at all. I have made friends with my colleagues there, not without effort though I must tell you, but friends that I would consider firm. I have found other friends too. My best friend, probably the best one I've ever had, David, accompanies me to the pub most weekends for a drink. His wife is one of Michelle's best friends and they too are good friends of mine, all with their own unique personalities. I am yet to crack Michelle despite my persistence. I think I will just have to respect that she does not wish to be a friend to me. And to answer your question, she has not found herself a man, though many have found themselves with her.
Do you remember Mary and Sarah, the McCool's?
If you do not, they certainly remember you!
Anyway, Mary's daughter Erin is more than just a friend to me.
Mum, I have fallen in love with her. She is a woman that I do not deserve, making me pinch myself every minute of every day to check if I am not in the deepest of dreams. She's beautiful, everything that I could have ever asked for and more. I have not worked out when I will do so, no doubt the German problem will cause me a problem with this too, but I am going to speak to her father about asking for her hand in marriage. Knowing the family though I will need to also ask permission from her little sister, who is absolutely adorable I would add, her mother, her cousin (David's wife who I mentioned earlier in this letter) her aunt, her grandfather and the dog. The last two I fear the most! Erin makes every day a lot brighter. If I can make that every day of the rest of my life then I will be the luckiest man to have ever walked the earth.
When I hear from you again might be out of our hands as you know. Yet I wish for you to know that I think about you daily and to a time when we might spend our days together like how it used to be in the halcyon days of our life in London.
Your loving son
James
As the pen was finally put down for the night, a lone tear stamped the letter that would be heading back to the address in Switzerland. He hadn't even realised he'd been crying until he finished the final sentence. Being able to talk to her through the pages may have been the closest thing he could get to having her there with him, but it was more than enough… because it had to be more than enough. Whether the letter would even reach her was a whole other matter entirely given the war that he knew was going to come.
A war he was going to have to take part in.
He would answer the call to fight for what he believed in. To fight for a way of life that needed to be defended at all costs from the destructive manipulation that the terror of Nazi Germany emitted. Fighting for the life he wanted with his family and friends afterwards.
The marriage he wanted with Erin was no illusion to him. He might not have voiced the thoughts properly to her, but once the short war was over, Gerry would be spoken to. Any fears that he might be rejected from having her hand were long gone from the knowledge of how much her family admired him. The accent would not be a barrier to putting a ring on Erin's finger.
Barriers were the problem though.
For every barrier that the major allied nations of Europe put up, the Germans bulldozed their way through.
Diplomacy was at an end.
The days of bullets and bombs had begun.
At the crack of dawn, whilst the first birds of the day chirped away in harmony from the trees at the back of the house, Orla woke in her bedroom. Waking at that time was becoming a regular theme to everyday of the week, something which she'd put down to the pregnancy. Before falling pregnant, she was always very hard to wake on time for work, having been late once or twice from Sarah simply being unable to rouse her. Now, most mornings she would be playing the role of sleep disturber to get David up from his slumber next to her, but that Saturday morning they woke together.
Realising that she was awake, David leaned over to give his wife a kiss on the cheek.
"Good morning Mrs Donnelly". He chuckled lightly into her ear after.
"Aye mornin' Mr Donnelly". She whispered back, chuckling.
Like James, his night of sleep wasn't perfect. Though he might not have had Erin to contend with when it came to the topic that had to be discussed, he held more responsibilities than his friend. Orla wasn't carrying the neurotic presence that her cousin was, however, she could still become highly emotional when the right ingredients came together. The trait seemed to run in the family; in one way or another, they wore their hearts on their sleeves.
"Orls…". He started. "… we… we need to talk about somethin'".
"Is it to do with the mess I left last night? Aye I couldn't help it ye know, I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed…".
"No love". He stated bluntly. "It… It isn't that".
The mess was created when she knocked over a plant that they kept in the living room, spilling soil all out onto the carpet, which Napoleon promptly trapsed through the house once he'd walked in it. Sarah and David spent a good hour or more returning the house to a proper state that was fit for guests, whilst Orla snored her head off in bed. Although she wouldn't have been expected to do too much to help clear it up, it was fair to say that neither her husband nor mother were too impressed by her saying nothing about it. Though equally their ire was turned on Joe who'd immediately cited his refusal to help clear the mess up, insisting that David did it.
Shifting slightly so that he was tucked into her side, David continued.
"Ye know the news about the Germans?"
"Those wee fellas are right head melters, aye?" She mused in her own little world. "What do they want with the wee Pole fellas anyway? Mammy thinks it's because the Poles have more cabbages than they do…"
"The Germans aren't invadin' Poland for cabbages, Orls". He remained serious, as much as he wanted to burst out laughing.
"Then I am lost, so I am".
Taking a second thought, David realised that he may have been too soon in thinking he was going to have the easier conversation out of him and James. Erin might have been very clingy and protective, but she would at least understand the topic of discussion. There would be no tangents to escape on with her at least.
"There might be a war, Orls". He spoke softly, taking her hand.
"A war over cabbages?" She replied, confused.
"Love, it's not to do with cabbages". He reiterated. "It's far more complicated than that ye know".
"Oh… right".
His poor wife looked so befuddled by his genuine attempts to talk to her, that he took her fully into his arms to hold her tightly. Tears were itching to pour from his eyes, chest burning from the strain of the words that were waiting to be said. The pain from knowing it could be one of the final times he ever held her, grappled with him internally on the raw, open plain that was his conscience. A battlefield of emotion where every gun was loaded and piping hot.
"War will be declared on Germany Orls, young lads like me in England, Scotland and Wales, will have to go to fight them".
"Ach but there in those countries, ye don't have to…".
"Orls… remember we talked about this".
A couple of weeks earlier, one Saturday night, they were sat up in the same bed where they were talking at that moment. David first brought up about going to fight in a war if there was one that night, initiating a rare but brief glimpse of the true Orla beneath her chaotic randomness. She'd been supportive at the time, encouraging him to go and fight should the need arise. That night he made sure to tell her that it was just precautionary, and that the likelihood of a war was very small, yet two weeks on and the pendulum had swung the other way.
"Aye I know…". She sighed. "Yer goin' to fight aren't ye?"
"Aye love. I'm going to sign up".
The agony within his chest could have convinced him that he was already at war. If he hadn't had known better, the words could have been bullets fired from a machine gun when they left his voice box, somehow turning in the air to pierce his torso. Even though the inevitable conflict would be an ephemeral one in his mind, being away from her with their child so close to being born would be excruciating. A child which he craved to hold in his arms.
"Yer so brave…". She mumbled to him, kissing him on one cheek whilst cupping his other.
"I don't feel brave love…". He admitted in almost a choke. "I… I'll be leavin' ye on yer own to bring up our baby for a few weeks. Nothin' brave about that…".
Stopping his melancholic outlook before it could recess any further, she moved to capture his lips with hers to keep his mouth contained. He responded by kissing her more deeply, their tongues meeting for a brief joust before they separated. Having been calmed immensely by her action, he took a deep breath.
"I won't be alone David". She spoke before he could. "I have Mammy and Granda Joe, Napoleon, Aunt Mary, Uncle Gerry, Erin, Uncle Colm, the funny wee fella from space…".
"Not that again…". He grumbled.
"I'm tellin ye, that wee green lookin' thing was in our room and he said he was from Mars ye know". She argued her point.
"How would he know English love?"
David's brows were furrowed as he waited for her to either concede defeat or come up with a dramatic idea in response. He got the latter of the two.
"Maybe he went to the Library and got a book".
"But how… forget it. I get ye, ye have yer family… but ye don't have me".
"I know and I'll miss ye like, yer my husband and I love ye!"
Her slightly dramatic delivery gave them both cause to laugh hysterically. The laughter continued for another couple of minutes until they finally calmed down.
"I'll miss ye too".
"Aye I know ye will David. But I… I understand why ye know".
"Ye do?" He asked, rather surprised.
"Ye want the world to be a happier place, safe for our baby".
Orla was not as inattentive as she was sometimes perceived. An unsafe world was not the world he wanted their child to grow up in. The world for their baby needed to be healthy and happy; the scourge of Nazism prevented that.
"I do love… I can't stand by and see what's happenin' to those poor Polish girls and fellas. Some of them might be like us… a young family with hopes and dreams which are now in trouble. I don't want the Germans comin' here".
"I wish I could come with ye…". Orla sighed. "…I could help with my bow and arrows!"
"Alright there Robin Hood, ye calm yerself now". He jested.
"That wee Hitler's moustache is a good target ye know".
Sniggering, David couldn't help but agree that the moustache made the German leader stand out. Whether it would be useful as a target for practice with a bow and arrow was a different story entirely.
"Ye'd need to be able to use a gun now".
"A gun? I reckon I could handle that…". She surmised defiantly.
"I could see ye now…". David started merrily. "… standing on top of a wall with a gun and watchin' German after German go down in front of ye…".
"The war would be over in a week".
"It would Orls… it would".
She put her hands to her stomach, wincing slightly, which drew a worried look from David. He sat up to look into her eyes, finding no panic on her behalf.
"Baby's kickin' that's all. Don't panic David".
Moving down the bed, he took up position by her swollen belly, lifting the top she'd worn to bed up to put his hand on her bare skin. They exchanged a look of pure unfiltered love, Orla aware of what he was going to do, David having done so many times before.
"Hey you in there…". He whispered to where their child was growing. "… ye need to stop kickin' yer mammy. She's doin' a grand job for ye so show her some love. There's plenty of kickin' to be done with a football when yer grown up".
"Mammy still loves ye though". Orla made sure to add.
"Daddy too".
Planting a kiss onto her belly first, he pulled the top back down a second later, returning to his position further up the bed to snuggle into her side. They lay there for a few minutes with nothing said between them because there didn't need to be anything said. She knew he needed to go to war, to battle for their family and see the world safe again. It would be difficult, the birth and the early days without him, but Orla knew that the minute David returned from war, he would devote all of his energy into caring for their child. That was a promise he'd made when he married her and a promise that he would keep.
Orla was the next to speak, turning herself slightly to look him dead in the eye.
"Where will ye go?" She asked, noticing his immediate confusion. "Ye know, to fight?"
"James said he knows someone in the Air Force. We're flying to England this afternoon to sign up. Erin wasn't kiddin' when she said about him being an ace pilot ye know".
"This afternoon?"
"Love… I…". He came to a stuttering halt.
Pulling his head forward so that their noses were touching, she placed a tender kiss on his lips to cease his panic.
"I thought we might have longer, but if ye need to go then ye need go. Bit like Mammy always said about havin' a p-".
"Alright Orls, I know". He snorted, completely aware of where she was going.
There was another brief pause as they simply looked at each other. Without vocalising it to each other, one knew what the other was doing. Enjoying the view until they could enjoy it properly again a few months down the line when the Germans were put back in their place.
"So James is going too then?" She enquired with him.
"I can't fly a plane on my own Orls!". He chuckled. "We've talked about it a couple of times ye know and he's gettin' packed up this mornin'".
"Does Erin know?"
David was a man of many talents, but any attempt at convincing his wife that her cousin knew about them leaving would have been a waste of time. She might have asked the question, but Orla already knew the answer. The gentle shake of the head her husband gave her a second later was merely a final, but unnecessary confirmation.
"He'll be next door soon to tell her".
"She'll be ragin'".
There was nothing like stating the obvious. David didn't speak his mind, but that was all he could think after her comment. He was lucky that she'd moved on from her crush on him from years before as he wouldn't be the one dealing with her apoplectic reaction the moment she found out. Poor James would.
"We should be there".
"For Erin?"
"No David, for James". She uncharacteristically replied with a stern tone. "He's goin' to need us to help calm her down".
Too right… too right…
"Ach but that's later so it is".
"So it is". He tried to force a smile whilst replying.
"That means we have time for a wee cuddle at least".
They shared more than just a wee cuddle. Embracing warmly, tears were shed by the two of them once the talking was concluded. The rivers of droplets were required for them both, a shared sobbing where tears conjoined with their cheeks so close together, an emotional bond that fell onto the sheets of the bed for ten minutes.
There were going to be many tough months ahead for the young couple, but their love was a solidified union that would stand against anything that would prevent it from staying that way.
Fearing more for the union between James and Erin, the strength would need to be shared from cousin to cousin.
Life without their fellas was going to be arduous.
At best.
The Quinn house was full come nine o'clock that morning. Joe, Sarah, Orla, David and Napoleon all arrived from next door as they were finishing breakfast, walking into the relatively peaceful atmosphere in the house that morning. Anna was reading away in the corner whilst Erin helped Mary clear the table after they'd finished eating. Despite the news of the day before, it all seemed very much normal.
"Where's Gerry?" Sarah asked her sister.
"He's outside on the vegetable patch". Mary answered.
"Good". Joe snorted. "That means I don't have to look at him".
Unfortunately for Joe, Gerry returned no less than a couple of seconds after his comment, prompting him to grumble extremely loudly to the added presence of his son in-law. Forever the diplomat, Gerry didn't rise to the challenge.
"Morning everyone".
"Mornin' Uncle Gerry". Orla nodded. "How are the wee veggies?"
"They're fine Orla, thanks for asking".
She nodded to him again to accept the compliment, Gerry having to ignore Joe's continued grumbling from across the room. No one's curiosity was particularly peaked at them all coming over that morning, it not exactly being against the grain for their house to become the centre of family activity.
"Does anybody want a drink?" Mary enquired.
"I'll have a cup of tea love". Her husband was the first to answer.
"OI!" Joe reprimanded him. "Ye'll make yer own drink ye lazy dose!"
"Da!"
"I'd have a tea, Mary". Sarah piped up.
With Joe returning to a level of calm that was manageable, Mary set about making cups of tea for the two. Everyone else congregated in the living room where Erin went to sit with Anna to help her with her reading. Orla and David occupied the sofa where they sat holding hands. Choosing not to discuss David's impending departure before the arrival of a certain Englishman, they instead conversed with Gerry and Sarah once they'd gotten their cups of tea off of Mary. Joe hovered around between living room and kitchen, asking Mary if he could bludgeon Gerry but being typically denied. One day he hoped the denials would stop; in the meantime, he wouldn't stop asking.
The peace was somewhat disturbed by the sound of an engine, James' calling card. Erin was the first to shoot up on realising that he'd pulled up outside, but Anna forced her back down again to continue to help with the reading. The distraction from her sister meant she missed the look that Orla and David shared between them, as well as the gulping on the latter's behalf. The action didn't escape a confused Gerry though, who stared at the couple to seek an explanation. The explanation was not one that could be aired just yet, so David shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to stop Gerry's inquisitive introspection.
Owing to his position hovering around the door to the hallway, Joe went out to greet the Englishman first, holding the door open for him as James walked up the path.
"Mornin' James son". He addressed him once James was in earshot.
"Good Morning Joe".
The answer was not the usually cheerful one that James gave. Joe didn't miss the twinge of apprehension within the very much normal greeting. The older man noted the letter within his hands too.
"Who's the letter for?"
"It…". He paused to cough lightly. "… it is for my mother".
"She wrote to ye again?" Joe asked, eyebrow raised.
"Yes. With an address to write a letter in return to as well. She's married now".
James struggled to read Joe's reaction to the news. It almost didn't seem to shock him that she'd done so, though from hearing of his mother's reputation when she was younger, he attributed the reaction to that.
"I have some letters to post myself, do ye want to me to do it for ye son?"
"That would be most helpful Joe". James smiled appreciatively. "But there is an additional cost for this I would presume and…".
"Don't ye worry about the money son". Joe's hand went to his shoulder. "I'll cover the cost. Ye've done a lot for my family since ye've been here, allow us to pay ye back".
Naturally, James went to protest in his gentlemanly nature, but Joe's stern look prevented him in taking it up with the man any further. Handing the letter over, they shared a brief smile, before heading inside to join the rest of the family. David, having extracted himself from his position next to Orla, waited for them just inside the hallway. Joe walked past without raising suspicions of what they were doing, leaving the two young men very much relieved.
"I… I've told Orls". David whispered to him.
"Did she take it well?" James mumbled back.
"Aye. But we're worried for ye with Erin".
James sighed as quietly as he could. When he eventually fell asleep after writing the letter to his mother, he'd slept heavily only to wake up with a stomach that bubbled. He knew why it was bubbling, his emotions manifesting themselves within the inner linings of his belly. There was little surprise for him that Orla was able to take the news well, even if David left out their fit of crying, as she was not quite the complex emotional young woman that Erin was. Having the knowledge of her dreams for them in the future very much close to his heart, those ambitions would be even closer to hers. James going to fight in a war threatened a complete shutdown of her emotionally.
"We have to do this though David".
"I know…". It was David's turn to sigh. "… I'm not turning back now mate. I want these fuckin' Germans gone".
"Me too… Me too".
In a rarer moment of affection between friends, David grabbed the back of the Englishman's head and pulled him in for a hug. Feeling the watery flow prodding the corners of his eyes, James quickly cleaned them as he was wrapped around his mate. Composure needed to return for him to deliver the news to Erin.
When the two finally walked into the living room, all eyes were on them, most with accompanying brows furrowed due to how long it had taken James to get into the room. Orla knew exactly what was going on, but chose to hide her knowledge, instead copying the looks on the face of her mother and cousin.
"James!" Erin got up from where she was sat with Anna. "I wasn't expectin' ye…".
"I… I need to talk to you… privately".
Whatever it was that he wanted to say already frightened her. Erin wasn't used to seeing her fella so nervous and unsure of himself, only seeing rare glimpses of it, like when he'd received the first letter from Kathy. She nodded hesitantly, hoping that he might expand upon his reasons for the need for privacy, finding herself disappointed in the seconds that proceeded when he did not do so.
Are we breaking up?
Is it Jenny… is he with Jenny now!?
Is he… leaving?
The questions assaulted her mind quicker than she could move, swaying slightly from the fear that was now instilled deep within her.
"Anything ye need to say can be said in front of all of us".
James turned to find Mary at the entrance to the kitchen, holding her wooden spoon menacingly in her right hand. He knew she would be jumping to very similar conclusions as Erin, but those conclusions were not the correct ones at all. Unwilling to put her through heartache in front of the rest of the family, he persisted with the need for privacy.
"Please Mary, I need to talk to Erin alone".
"We don't like keepin' secrets in this house son and ye best start learnin' that fast, ye hear".
"Mammy…". Erin tamely tried to intervene.
"No Erin!". Her mother shouted, almost bellowing at her. "James here might be a nice fella, but I won't have the two of you's sneakin' around behind everyone's back. If he wants to say somethin', he has the room".
Sensing any further protests would lead him absolutely nowhere, the Englishman took a couple of very deep breaths. The tension in the room was a thick, soupy smog, a weather that he'd seen in person a few times in London, but never in non-meteorological terms in a crowded space such as the living room of the Quinn house. He looked to his right to see David, a face of encouragement to help him through what he already knew would be the toughest couple of minutes in his life. Orla tried to convey the same encouragement too when he looked to her but those were the only friendly faces that he could find. The tears were already glistening in Erin's eyes when he glanced up at her, whilst everyone else was either frowning or in Anna's case, pulling a silly face at him. Even Napoleon looked inquisitive from where he perched in the far corner.
He closed his eyes, and with one final deep breath, re-opened them to begin what needed to be said.
"Myself and David are leaving for England in a few hours. We are going to sign up to fight".
The living room became a vacuum for human emotion, sucking the life out of the room upon the statement being delivered to them all. They all looked between each other for a few moments, with most eyes falling upon Erin.
"No".
The simple phrase was all she could muster. For once her body decided to work in tandem with her head, darting forward in order to flee the room that she no longer wanted to be in. James stood in her way to leave, holding his arms out for her but finding them pushed out of the way when she barged past.
"Erin, wait…".
He put his head in hands when the door slammed behind him, hearing her footsteps on the creaky floorboards of the stairs whilst she escaped to the sanctuary of her bedroom. It was the reaction he was expecting, though it did not make it any easier to deal with.
"Go". David told him quickly. "I'll deal with everyone else".
Putting a hand onto his friend's back, the Englishman escaped before any questions or abuse could be sent his way. Making his way over to the stairs, he ascended them as quickly as he could, listening to poor David having to defend their actions to the rest of the family.
"What the hell are the two of you's playin at, David!?" Mary's shout echoed through the house.
"Mary…".
"Do ye know about this love?" He heard Sarah ask Orla.
"Aye I do Mammy. They'll be cracker fightin' those German fellas, won't they?"
"CRACKER!? Have ye forgotten yer husband's leavin' ye to…".
David was certainly a braver man than he was. Tuning out as Mary became more aggravated, James' mind focused solely on Erin. He'd only been up to her room on a couple of occasions yet knew the way like it was a journey he'd done a thousand times before. There was a silent, stillness to the upstairs of the Quinn house, a stark contrast to the fiery living room where Mary continued to dig away at David. Trying to justify the need they both felt to do something about the Germans was not an easy task at all, especially when contending with a woman like Mary. There was little doubt that she was a brilliant mother to Erin and Anna, but she could be narrow-minded when it came to the bigger picture. He would never express that opinion to anyone of course, though David had hinted his own belief in the same viewpoint. Mary could only see the impact on the family right there and then. The boys were looking at a picture that extended far beyond the city of Derry.
"Erin…". He called out softly, his knuckles wrapping the door. "Erin… please can I come in? I want to talk".
Despite the lack of an answer, he pushed the door open anyway. He found her stood in front of her window, looking out to the back garden with her back to him. She didn't turn even though he knew she'd have heard him enter and shut the door behind him.
"Erin…".
"Do ye not love me James?"
Her statement was unfiltered, coming straight from the heart which ached inside her chest. One of her hand's had come to rest over it, the pain being that great, whilst the other hand wiped away the tears from her eyes.
"You know I love you Erin". He replied, his own voice threatening to crack. "Please, let me explain…".
"What is there to explain. Ye value killin' other men over loving me".
He put his hands on his hips, breathing out in frustration. There was a reason he wanted to address it with her privately. Her initial reaction would have been easier to contain if it were just the two of them together. Mary just had to have her own way…
"It is not as simple as that".
"Really!?"
Her shouted snort niggled away at his conscience. He couldn't see it, but tears were pouring out her silently. She was cracking apart but didn't have the guts to show him how badly she was.
"Erin, please look at me".
The request went unanswered. She couldn't look at him without it hurting anymore than it already did, petrified of collapsing or simply exploding from training her eyes on him. Her eyes were closed and her breaths stuttering when his arms suddenly came around her. She couldn't help but ease back into his chest when it offered itself to her.
"I…". He struggled to channel his inner strength, but the gentleman within him forced it out. "… I have to do this".
"No James… ye don't…". She muttered a cry.
"I do Erin… I do".
He rested his head on top of hers, placing a kiss into her blonde hair, his hands stroking her sides at the same time. Glancing down, he noticed the tears streaming out of her, moving his hands up to intercept them on their advance down her cheeks.
"Please, do not cry…".
"How can I not!?" She wailed. "I LOVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME!"
She offered no resistance when he turned her around quickly so that her head came to rest on his chest. She continued to wail into it, drenching his shirt with the thick tears that he was the creator of. James began crying too. The strain of watching her breakdown became too much for the English fella, who sobbed into her hair. Hearing her love for him would never cease to amaze him, but upon the terms it was being offered in her room that morning, it was a love that danced over the fire of devastation.
"Erin…".
"PLEASE! PLEASE!" She roared through sobs.
"I love you too!" He cried, lifting his head from her hair. "I never wanted to do this, but what choice do I have?"
"Ye do have a choice! STAY!"
Her mumbled shrieks ripped away at him, so much so that the conversation stopped to allow him to cry. Guilt, sorrow and depression were the tidal waves that drowned the essence of his soul, his mind being more of an enemy than any German could have been at that point. Love was going to tear them apart.
"I cannot stand by whilst innocent people die by the hands of the Nazi's…".
"But there isn't even a war!" She continued to protest, his shirt stifling the true ferocity of her rebukes.
"There… there w-will be Erin". He choked out. "It is the only possible action left to stop Germany acting in the way they are".
"You don't have to fight though James! You don't!"
"A difference has to be made my love…".
"NOT BY YOU!"
He bore the full brunt of her shout when she viciously wriggled her way out of his grasp, coming to stare at him, their irises locked together.
"Or by David!" She continued angrily. "Yer supposed to look after me and Orla but the pair of ye's are goin' to fight. What happens if y-".
"Erin…".
"No James!" Another shriek was torn from within her. "How do… how d-… how do ye… ex-… expect us t-to go on without you's".
She was back in his arms with her head on his chest again a second later. There was pure devastation festering in his chest as he was listening to her cracking, her voice trailing off in misery from thinking about a life where he and David were to perish. Death was a part of war though; they knew what they were signing up to do. To die if necessary.
"And why England!?" She recovered to continue the onslaught. "Hmm? Why can't ye sign up here and serve. We could still see each other then… so why are ye so desperate to get away from me!?"
He didn't want to. But he had no choice.
"THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU ERIN!"
He shouted at her. He shouted at his beloved and hated himself for it straight away. It needed to be said though… she had to be told because she was too narrow-minded like her mother. Erin appeared slightly shellshocked, but oddly to him, did not start to cry.
"I am sorry. I should not have shouted…".
"No. I… I n-needed that".
It was his turn to be stunned. His shouting changed her mindset within an instant. He was right after all and she knew it. They might have been in love with the world at their feet, but that world was not one which could exist happily. Life existed far beyond Saturday afternoons in his bedroom, a life that was going to come under threat should it be allowed to go unchecked. He was going to fight for that life. That life that they could lead together.
"We are going to England because I know someone from the military back home who can get us into a decent squadron". He explained. "I will do everything in my power to keep David close by".
"There's no squadrons here then?" She asked, sniffling.
"No. Derry's more of a strategic concern for the navy and I'm a pilot, not a sailor".
"I know. Yer my pilot… my hero".
"I've hardly done anything heroic". He laughed.
"Yes ye have". She stood firm. "Ye love me, that's heroic in my eyes".
Coming together in a kiss, the previous tension that had followed them from the living room, dissipated, leaving only the familiar touch of each other coursing through their veins. Every second of the kiss was enjoyed because they knew there would not be too many more for some time.
"It will all be over by Christmas…".
They'd began a slow sway as if they were dancing when he muttered into her ear. Her face was brighter when he pulled away, feeling safer from his belief that everything would be back to how it should be, come the festive season.
"Christmas morning, we will wake together in my bed and spend the day as a couple, just the two of us, no one else".
"It sounds like a wonderful dream". She sighed a little, but not with total dejection.
"A dream which will come true".
Looking up at him, there was a beaming, radiant smile across her face that matched the same one on his. The tears of both had dried to be replaced with a happiness, an uneasy one, but one all the same. Love could be the catalyst of tearing them apart, but it was also the foundation of everything they held as a couple. Foundations could either be built upon or destroyed. They had the former in mind, the evil tyrants of the world had the latter.
"I love ye James. So… so much".
"I love you too Erin, my beautiful love".
He would have to return home to prepare, as well as rescue David from Mary's questioning, but for another fifteen minutes they enjoyed a dance together in her room. The need for music did not exist. A melody from the vision of a bright future was the tune that they swayed to.
A future that would come at a cost.
But the price was yet to be negotiated…
It was a little after one o'clock when a usually quiet farmer's field was full of friends and family. The farmer's son, who'd been very understanding with James during his time in Derry, couldn't quite believe it when the large party appeared from out of the trees. When James took him to one side to explain that he would no longer be needing the barn, the young man felt sadness, but when the Englishman handed him an envelope with some money in it as a thank you, his respect and understanding only increased. James' personal plane would probably be broken up for parts once they'd landed back in England, a fate he understood. Everything for the war effort.
Martin and Gerry were given the honour of helping James and David prepare the aircraft, which required some fuelling ahead of take-off. David confided his worry to James that they might be shot down flying over to England, with nervous anti air crews getting trigger happy on sighting a plane which they might have believed belonged to the Nazi's. James knew what he was doing though, able to reassure his friend that there would be no hassle when it came to getting across the sea and to the airfield they were going to land at just outside London.
Out in the fields, there was quite the crowd ready to see them off.
Erin, Orla, Mary, Anna, Deirdre, Michelle, Joe, Sarah, Napoleon, Clare, Sean and Geraldine.
They'd all come to see the two brave young men commence their journey into the unknown. Tears were shed by some. Before he'd been to the Quinn house that morning, he'd stopped at his Aunt and Uncle's to explain his decision to them first, Michelle hearing it too. She'd passed the information on to Clare, and the moment she heard that the two men she considered firm friends were leaving, she'd wept uncontrollably. In her troubled personal life, hidden from them as well as the girls, she considered the two to be rocks of stability. Without them she feared she would crumble.
David and Martin exited the makeshift hangar first, heading straight over to the awaiting crowd. Erin recognised the jacket that David wore as the same one she donned whenever James would take her up into the sky. That would be another treat she would miss, though the prospect of meeting a German aircraft in the clouds made it somewhat less appealing. Gerry soon made his way out too, James following just a short way behind him. The doors to the hangar remained open for the boys to taxi out and get up into the air.
It was time to leave.
David went over to Orla, the two coming together in an embrace, their hands meeting on her stomach where the next generation of the family was only a few weeks away from arriving. They'd done their crying that morning in bed, using the last moments of being in each other's company to revel in the warmth of each other. James made his way over to Erin to do the same, though she did have to clear a few stray tears of her own after being overcome with sadness from realising how little time they had.
"Oh James…". She sighed. "Take care of yerself. I want ye back safe and sound at Christmas, ye hear?".
Taking her into his arms, he placed a kiss onto her lips. A kiss that was slow, full of passion and longing. Longing that would remain lingering for some time for each of them.
"I will. You will be on my mind… always". He told her sincerely.
"Always". She hummed back.
The two young men caught each other's eyes and knew that time was up. Extracting themselves from the loving embraces of the women they held so dearly, they each went to the rest of the family to say their goodbyes. James held Clare for the longest to try ease her upset, an action which her parents were thankful for, though Sean was confused as he knew James was already with Erin. Quite why he held so much affection for his daughter was lost on him.
Once they'd finished, the two men turned their backs to the family to walk towards the hangar. It was the most solemn walk of their lives, leaving behind everything they held dear to travel to wherever they were commanded to. Perhaps to Poland or Germany, or wherever the Nazi war machine fell upon next.
"James!"
Mary's voice rang out, stopping the two of them from proceeding. Both turned back to see what she had to say. But it wasn't what she had to say.
Walking over to them, she handed over a precious gift to the Englishman. A gift that he recognised as a promise to her. A promise that he would return home for her daughter.
Her wooden spoon.
"Ye never know when it might come in handy". She informed him.
"But won't you miss it?" He joked.
Mary shook her head.
"A wooden spoon is replaceable James. You aren't".
Hugging the woman he hoped would be his future mother in-law, the responsibility of the wooden spoon became his. Whether his superior officers would allow him to carry it in combat remained to be seen, not that it would stop him anyway. He would guard it with his life.
Minutes later, as the aircraft took off bound for England, Erin and Orla held hands to watch their fellas fly away.
Neither admitted to the sinking feeling deep within them that said they wouldn't be coming back.
"Well, the dickhead has finally listened to me and fecked off". Michelle's foul mouth, which had mostly been silent, suddenly opened with a volley. "Time for ye to get a proper man, Erin".
Everyone wanted to shout at her for the insensitive insolence she was showing, but Erin went one better than all of them. Opening her hand out, she swung round, and slapped Michelle clean across the face, her friend stumbling from the sudden assault.
"Erin!"
Her father's call did nothing to stop her storming off, though he made sure to tail her. The rest of their family and friends soon followed behind, leaving Michelle to the mercy of her glaring parents.
"Ye deserved that". Deirdre huffed at her honestly.
"Mammy…".
"No Michelle!" Martin cut her off. "This hatred towards yer cousin has gone too far! Yer comin' home and we're gettin' to the bottom of this, or I swear ye'll be lookin' for somewhere else to sleep tonight!"
Under the pressure of her father's shouting and still stunned from Erin's slap, she nodded her head in agreement. It suddenly became very unfortunate that Sister Michael had allowed her and Clare a week off of cleaning the school that afternoon.
Still, it could have been much worse. She could have been a young Polish woman caught in the crossfire of the invading Nazi's, who were beginning their bloody scythe through the country.
What it would take to stop them was about to be discovered…