Chapter 40: Two Empty Coffins 18th November 1940
Erin Quinn was awake at five on that Monday morning. She'd barely been asleep all night anyway, deciding that five was the correct time to wake fully with no hope of going back to sleep. It was a precious commodity, sleep, one which she'd seen little of in the few days following the news of her beloved's passing. She did not return to work on the Friday as she should, spared the disgrace of being sacked only thanks to everyone else attending and Meyler fighting her corner with the senior management. She would have to return that afternoon, as he could not keep her in place forever, but it brought her a whole weekend where she could mourn her fella. Mourn him she had too.
How it was humanely possible to cry for days straight she did not know, but that is what she'd done. Her hopes for the future were dashed and with nothing to cling to, her mind would constantly question what the point of life was without James in it. Before he'd arrived into her life, it would have been an absurd notion that a fella, especially an Englishman, would ever have such an effect on her. As usual though, James broke through the norms that should have left him as just another man. He was her man, her future. Without him, there was no future. Every morning her eyes would open to a new day which no longer held the prospect of him coming home to her, shattering her within seconds of waking every day to leave her a crying mess for the rest of it.
Reading his letter home, written in case the unthinkable happened, she'd fallen apart to new extremes knowing of the plans that he held for them. She'd thought of marrying him too, wanting them to become husband and wife when he finally got the opportunity to have some leave from fighting in the war. To be considered his would have been an honour beyond any that she could have possibly dreamed of, showing the world just how strong their love was. She would have had the most beautiful of white dresses, she thought, James going the extra mile to make sure she would look her best for the big day. Their family, friends and just about anyone who wanted to, would be in attendance as she walked down the aisle to her fella, who would have been clad in his finest military uniform with David by his side as his best man. The thought of children was another matter, but it was not as if, she told herself, she hadn't thought of that before. It was certainly a topic that required significant discussion between them when he did return though he'd said he was happy to wait until she was ready. Typical James, always caring for the needs of everyone else before himself.
He could no longer be that man anymore though, the Italians seeing to it that the pilot that blighted their Fleet for months would never see the light of day again. There were no Italian families in Derry, which was only a positive, as all Erin could think about was finding an Italian and beating them mercilessly for what they'd done to James. She hated them. It was not the fault of the Italian people, but they would be collateral damage in her mind because someone would have to answer for why her James would never be able to come home to her again. A broken heart would have to seek answers.
Orla was equally as upset, but she hadn't cried relentlessly like her cousin. There were still tears, there was never going to be a scenario where there wouldn't be, but she was able to control the outbursts far better. Marie still needed her attention, which helped to distract her somewhat from her heartbreak, but her daughter was still a constant reminder of the husband that she'd lost. She hadn't thought about the Italians though, not seeking the same answers as Erin from the country whose soldiers shot him down. Life was having to continue on at the house next door even under the unfathomable circumstances that the young widow found herself in. That was the difference between the two. Orla still had a future to devote herself, Marie being that future whereas Erin was left with absolutely nothing.
The letter from the Admiralty that Joe had read out to them on the fateful morning, also contained details of what was to happen with the estates of both men. Or at least it should have done. David Donnelly left the world as a smart man, as he'd changed his will whilst on active service, to ensure that all of the money that he owned went to his wife. There was not much of it because he was not a rich man, but there was enough to supplement their lives for a short while until Orla could find work again. Without his death, she most likely would never have worked again but the lack of income owing to his passing meant that her arm was forced. Orla would have to find herself a job. However, the letter stopped there. There was no information about what would happen to James' estate, a sizeable one if they were all to guess. It was not discussed in front of Erin, but in a rare civil conversation, Gerry and Joe were in agreement that Kathy would have been the most likely beneficiary although even then there should have been something to say that she was. The truth was far different. None of them would ever see James' money again. There was already a plan in place, implemented by Lieutenant Colonel Menzies, to return the young man's money to where it came from, a place that very few people knew. Erin would never see a penny of her fella's money, wealth that she could certainly lay a claim to.
She didn't care about that in the immediate aftermath though. Money could not buy back the happiness that she'd lost by losing him to the war. She'd read the letter from the Admiralty herself the following day and the thought crossed her mind that his estate was not mentioned, but she left it for another time when she could focus on it. That day could be weeks or even months away, such was the devastation that she'd been left with. Erin was not without support though and in the dark atmosphere at five o'clock in the morning, support came her way.
The door to her room creaked open, her eyes darting over to the entrance to see who had come to disturb her. For the briefest of seconds, she entertained the thought that it was James, the mistake that she'd originally believed in turning out to be true. It was the briefest of thoughts though, that went away when she remembered the painful reality that she was living.
"Erin…".
Anna's voice was the one that she heard. Not one to wake so early, Erin was confused by her sister's presence at such a time. Where the usually tough Orla's strength wavered at times and Erin's being non-existent, Anna was forced to stand up. A four year old taking on the responsibility of remaining strong for her family was unheard of, but there were no four year olds quite like Anna Quinn. Whenever either her older sister or her cousin would falter, she would pounce upon them like a beast on its prey, cuddling them until their sobbing either ceased or slowed down completely. Without her, the two young women would have been far more demoralised. She would not allow that demoralisation though with both of them meaning far too much to her to see them depressed. In quiet moments, usually at night when she was put to bed, Anna would have a little cry too with the loss that she was having to live through. Losing David hurt; for as long as she could remember, he'd played a part in her life. Although losing James appeared to hurt a lot more. He was meant to be her confidante, who she could speak to about anything that she pleased and not having him there to perform that service any more was upsetting to her. For a four year old though, she still coped remarkably well.
"Anna, what are ye doin' up!" Erin hissed. "Go back to sleep!"
Pausing with the door half open, Anna considered whether or not to comply with the request. She certainly shouldn't have been up at that time, she knew that herself, but equally she did not want to return to her own room. Moving herself into the room fully, she made the decision to close the door behind her to indicate to her sister that she would not be following her instructions despite risking the older sibling's scorn.
"Erin…it's cold in my room". She moaned quietly.
"It's the winter Anna, it's always cold!" Erin grumbled back.
Sitting up, Erin could understand why her sister was cold. Removing her hands from under the covers where they'd been in the warm, the freezing cold of the early morning set off a series of goosebumps around her body. The cold that blighted the previous week was continuing on the Monday morning it would seem. Over the weekend there had been rain too, which only compounded the feelings of misery for the two heartbroken young women. They could deal with the rain by simply not leaving the house, but the cold would invade their homes to provide a consistent nuisance to the evenings and mornings.
"Can… Can I get in with you?".
It was not the first time that Anna asked to share the bed with her sister, holding the hopes that Erin would relent and let her in. Clutching her teddy, which Erin had not spotted until she caught a glimpse of the ribbon around its neck, Anna was stood shivering in her older sister's room. The temperature must have been below freezing, far too cold for them even though they knew to expect it in November. Seeing her so cold, Erin could not refuse.
Opening the covers, a rare smile was plastered across her face which Anna just about made out in the dark of the room. She'd missed Erin's smile since the news of James' passing and although she knew that it would be a long time until she would display it again, there was hope for the four year old that the old Erin would return at some point.
"Come on".
Racing forward, Anna threw her teddy onto the bed first, striking Erin straight in the face with it. The button of the teddy's nose caught Erin in the eye with force but before she could exclaim any pain, the rest of her body was assaulted as Anna practically jumped on her.
"Anna!" She angrily whispered her reprimand. "Be careful, ye nearly had my eye out!"
"Sorry…".
Proving that her apology was sincere, Anna leaned over to give Erin a kiss on the forehead. Instinctively, Erin threw her arms out around her little sister, holding her close. She was glad that they were not like other sisters, who would be at each other's throats all of the time. Their close relationship became something for her to rely on in her time of grief. Anna giggled when she was squeezed tightly into her sister's chest, with Erin returning the favour by planting a kiss on her head.
"I love ye Anna". Erin whispered.
"Love ye too, Erin".
Releasing her sister from her grasp, Erin allowed Anna to snuggle in next to her. The younger sister was soon asleep, her teddy held closely to her in her left hand, whilst she turned to the left and draped her right arm around Erin's stomach. Erin's arm came around her as she slept, stroking her arm gently whilst she began to surrender to her body's cries for sleep. With James in her mind and tears streaking silently down her face, sleep won the battle against her emotions after another ten minutes. The snores of both sisters filled the older one's room in the icy dark of the early hours of a Monday morning that would bring with it significant pain.
"Mary…".
Gerry whispered to her as she crept along the hallway behind him. Beckoning her to the door of Erin's room, they were both able to look fondly upon the scene of their daughter's cuddling each other. His arm went around her shoulders, pulling her close to him as they both fought to hold back their tears. Rare tears of joy after days of tearful sorrow, they would always love to see their children showing each other affection. Although they did not know it, the two had been asleep for just under a couple of hours when they came across them around seven o'clock. Unfortunately, they could not leave them asleep for too long. There was far too much to do before they went out.
"We need to wake them…". Gerry noted to her.
"Aye…". Mary sighed. "… but not for another minute".
"Aye".
Another minute would not hurt at all. Their snores were no longer as loud as they'd been when they first fell asleep, the pair of them instead offering soft whistles to convey their slumber. Sleeping until seven o'clock was a luxury on a weekday, but it was no normal Monday that they were being faced with that day. After the minute passed, or perhaps it was two by the time that the loving couple could bare to ruin the image of their perfect children asleep together, Gerry gave Mary a look to say that the time was up. He would be the one to do the waking, with Mary stood by behind him to greet their daughters with affection that would be sorely needed.
"Anna…". He spoke softly, grabbing her by the arm and shaking her. "Anna… wake up…".
What came out as a whimper, Anna's noise told him that she was slowly coming around to the new day. Looking across to Erin, he nearly jumped back in shock as her eyes were wide open staring at him. He assumed that she would be harder to wake than her sister, but it was an assumption that Gerry got completely wrong.
"Christ Erin… ye scared me!". He uttered, totally shocked.
"S… sorry Da…". She muttered as the tears began to well up.
Rubbing her eyes, Anna turned over to find her father stood over her. Raising her arms up to show that she wanted a cuddle from him, the task was obliged, Gerry going the whole way as to lift her out of Erin's bed and into his arms like she was a baby again.
"Thank ye, Da". She flashed him a smile. "Sorry I'm not in my own bed… I got cold so I got my teddy and…".
Gerry placed a hand over her lips, his own lips curving into a smile for his youngest.
"Ye don't have to explain love. It was a cold night, so it was, and I'm not goin' to tell ye off for comin' to get warm with Erin".
Anna's arms were around his neck a second later, nuzzling herself into his shoulder where she rested her head. Safely in her father's arms, she looked over her shoulder to Erin, who did not have any emotion on her face other than the tears which she was battling again. If she could get downstairs without crying, then it would be a landmark achievement that would tell her that she could cope without James, that life would go on. But that meant she thought about James… so the tears began to flow.
"Oh love…".
Mary rushed over to her eldest daughter when she began to wail tearfully about the Englishman that she'd loved. Taking his cue to leave, Gerry carried Anna out back to her room. She'd began to cry again herself at seeing Erin so broken by the loss of James. It was a day that was starting in tears, that would certainly be accompanied by a lot more as it went on. Everyone was expected to cry at some point during the morning, as it would only be a natural reaction to the events that they would witness.
"I CAN'T MAMMY! I CAN'T!"
Unable to hold back her own tears, Mary cried with her daughter, holding her just as tightly as Erin had held Anna during the night. There was nothing that she could really say that would help Erin, nothing positive to be taken from the deaths of either man. It was the same for Sarah next door, who did not have the necessary words available to comfort Orla. The words just simply did not exist for two young women who'd lost the loves of their lives so early in those lives, that they were faced with the prospect of being broken hearted forever. Some women would be able to move on and find another fella, which was certainly what James wanted Erin to do, but in the days following the announcement, there was no way for her to see that it was possible. She could not go on without him.
"It's alright love, just let it out…".
She was letting it out in abundance, not requiring any helpful assistance from her mother in that regard. Lacking the words to ease her daughter's pain, it hurt Mary more than she was willing to admit to anyone. A mother should always be there to protect her daughter from the evil of the world, she'd always believed, but there was nothing that she could say or do that would bring James back. He was dead, dying for her as he said he would if there was a need for it, but it was not the way that it should have happened. If it was a last stand, where Britain was on its knees in need of a hero, then she would have accepted that death and Erin would have certainly coped with it better. Reading in the papers about Taranto, the sacrifice that James and David made was certainly not necessary in her mind. It might have been a crushing victory for the British Mediterranean Fleet but they'd surely lost so much more when even Mary Quinn knew that James was the best pilot they had. Above all though, he'd died for Erin when he shouldn't have had to, which only broke her poor daughter more.
"WHYYYYYYYYYY! WHY MAMMY, WHY!" Erin continued to wail.
"I know love… I know". She sniffled. "But yer Mammy's got ye, yer safe here with me".
"BUT I WANT JAMES!"
Mary did not attempt to stop her kneejerk wince at Erin's demand. She took no offence that her comfort was not enough because it would never be enough when her daughter loved the English fella so much. He was irreplaceable in her heart, the ruler of her atriums. A mother's love was not enough to fill the void that he'd left. She wanted a man that she could no longer have, for the wheels of fate decided to take him away from her. It was so cruel, leaving her nothing to hold onto as the next chapter of her life began regardless.
"James is gone love…". Mary started the painful explanation. "… I know yer hurtin'… ye loved yer fella so much but ye can't keep cryin' like this love. James wouldn't want ye to keep doin' this to yerself…".
It was not her best explanation, which she found out a moment later.
Erin had never dared slap her mother before, but she'd done so before she could even think about it. Pulling away from her mother's grasp, her palm cracked off of Mary's cheek, the matriarch tilting her head in response to the pain that flared up from it.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT HE WOULD HAVE WANTED!" She yelled.
Taken aback by being struck by her daughter, Mary took a couple of moments to return to a conscious state to deal with it. However, after shouting, Erin became very much aware of what she'd done and was completely horrified by it. She'd slapped her mother who was only trying to comfort her. What had she done…
"Mammy… I… I'm so sorry!"
Tears started to flow again for Erin, but for her own actions and not for James. Reaching out for her mother, she expected to be pushed away but Mary was a more understanding woman than she was often credited for. Normally, she would have pushed Erin away and punished her daughter, but the factors behind her violent action were not normal ones. She shouldn't have spoken about James while Erin's grief was still so raw.
"No love, don't be. I know it's a tough day for ye… it is for all of us…".
Mother and daughter embraced warmly, the water ceasing in their eyes. Mary was not wrong though; it was going to be a very tough day.
For them all, David's family too.
The Monday in November, the eighteenth day of the eleventh month of the year, would be the day that two empty coffins would be placed into the soil of the church graveyard. The funerals of two heroes of the Fleet Air Arm, lost during its greatest ever triumph. There would be men from the branch there, sent by the Admiralty.
Sent to attend the funerals of James Maguire and David Donnelly.
The church could often get full on a Sunday, but there was not a spare spot in it for the funerals of the two young men. Some men who would fall abroad would not get a service, instead being simply chalked out onto the list of those who'd fallen. For the two of them though, there was never not going to be one given the families that were involved and James' rank. For some reason, the papers did not report that they'd been killed at the Battle of Taranto, not even the Derry Journal. It was understandable that the big newspapers in London would not want to mention a man of such high rank as James being killed, but the local papers not doing so was a mystery. Martin voiced his thoughts to Deirdre that it must have been because he was English but she'd fairly countered that David's death was not listed too. Either way, it did not appear to have affected attendance at the funerals of the men. Just about everyone that they could think of was there.
The family were stood outside waiting for the horse drawn hearses to arrive, carrying the two empty coffins to their final resting places. There was the hope that one day they would be able to go to Italy to retrieve them, though that would rely on Britain winning the war, which seemed very unlikely despite the bloody nose that the RAF had given the Luftwaffe over the summer. Erin and Orla stood together holding hands, trying to give each other the strength to get through what would be an extremely tough morning. Anna was by Erin's side too, holding her other hand tightly. The cousins were both sniffling, having been doing so since the moment they arrived at church, clad in black. They both were fortunate, although very unfortunate for why they needed them, to have black dresses in their respective wardrobes. Unworn, the beautiful long dresses made their debuts in the worst possible arena, surrounded by others dressed in the dark colours that signified that a funeral was taking place.
Distant neighing signalled that the horses were on the way. Stood furthest from the church, Joe and Gerry were together watching as the two hearses arrived. Four horses, two for each, pulled them along, with the funeral conductors sitting atop the carriages where the coffins were held. Standing away from the rest of the family, they were having to be the pillars of strength where the others could not hold their emotions. It did not change how upset the two of them felt about the deaths of both men. Erin and Orla being left so emotionally vulnerable did not sit well with them at all, but like Mary that morning, they were unable to say anything that would help them. All that they could do was hold firm in the face of the tragedy that they were experiencing as a family, to try to give the girls the fight that they needed to get through it.
They were still Joe McCool and Gerry Quinn though.
Leopards did not change their spots.
"Gerry". Joe addressed him as they watched the horses approach.
"Yes Joe". He answered immediately.
"If ye mess this up, yer goin in with the coffins, ye hear me".
Sighing, Gerry knew that he should have expected some warning. Oddly, he did not take it as a personal attack as Joe was making a good point. He'd never carried a coffin before, being unable to make it home in time before his parents were buried years before. The last thing that the family would want in their time of collective grief was a dropped coffin, even if there were no bodies to spill out from within.
"I won't Joe. I wouldn't". Gerry clarified sincerely.
"I know that ye wouldn't ye eejit". Joe huffed through gritted teeth. "Just… be careful, that's all".
Joe turned to look him in the eye, smiling slightly. Joe smiling at him in a way that was not menacing was a novelty to Gerry, but he would not call his father-in law out on it. There was a time and place for him to gain a victory or two over Joe, but the churchyard on the morning of James and David's funerals was not that time.
There would be four men apiece to carry the coffins inside once the hearses came to a stop outside the church. For David's coffin, Joe would be joined by David's father, Sean and Colm, who'd volunteered to step in to be the final pallbearer. Gerry would be one of the four to carry the wooden box with James' name on. The McLaughlin brothers who worked with him at the bank would shoulder the burden with him, with Martin taking up the final spot, understandably wanting to do so for his nephew. The coffins would be carried in one behind the other, David's first with James' behind. Orla and Erin would lead the rest of the family in following the coffins, though they would likely have Anna at their side for support too. They'd even brought the dog, Napoleon standing protectively next to Sarah as he ran his beady eyes over proceedings.
Only thirty seconds or so later, the horses were slowed to a stop once they were outside the church. Erin and Orla's sniffles turned into sobs as they caught their first glimpses of the wooden boxes, but were quickly calmed by Anna, whose beautiful smile and strong grip on their hands did something which was unexpected.
Anna stopped their tears.
It would not be a permanent solution, but it allowed the girls to remain calm before entering the church for the service. The pallbearers made their way to the rear of the carriages, where the funeral conductors commanded them in retrieving the coffins from the rear. Eyes were drawn to David's, with his coffin being the first onto shoulders of the four men that were to carry it, the four taking firm grips despite the weight of a body being missing. The wooden coffin was still heavy enough without a body in it. Heeding Joe's words, Gerry took no risks when he took James' coffin onto his shoulder, focusing on only getting it to the spot in the church where it would rest for all to see.
The priest was outside with them, receiving a nod from the funeral director that they were clear to proceed into the church. It was not Father Peter for once, as he was out, not available to take the service. Michelle informed them all of why it was the case, but none of them believed that he was making a visit to a certain lady within the city to engage in pleasures that a priest was certainly not meant to. An older man, the priest that would be taking the service for James and David, smiled lightly at each member of the family as he made his way around the coffins, sprinkling holy water on both of them. Anna doubted whether the water was holy at all, holding those doubts for some time, though she smartly chose not to enquire with either the priest or the rest of the family. It would remain a mystery to her for the time being, but one which she hoped that she could figure out in time.
Singing began in the church, as a hymn was sung to greet the arrival of the coffins into the house of God. The noise that could be heard from outside was tremendous, a full church singing with spirit to remember the lives of the two men that would be laid to rest. The younger Quinn sister could do nothing to help her older sister nor her cousin when they heard the singing, both bursting into uncontrollable crying as the magnitude of what they were walking into hit them. In the hour or so that would follow, they would let go of the men that they loved forever by committing their coffins to the ground. Their bodies might not have been in them, but the two were certainly deceased. The burial told all those who were watching that the girls were at the point of their lives that they could not come back from. Life would go on after the church service but how they went on was down to them as individuals.
Their seats were at the front in the first couple of rows. Erin and Orla sat together, their hands still locked as they cried. Dark streaks of makeup ran down both of their cheeks, making them quite the sight on any other day but one that was to be expected during a funeral. On the first row with them were David's parents, along with Anna who tried in vain to help her family. At four years of age, she was carrying the responsibilities of someone ten times her age without raising any complaints about having to be the one to do so. The rest of the family were either over on the first row on the right or sat behind them. Gerry made sure that he was behind his oldest daughter, his hand occasionally coming to rest on her shoulder when certain moments of the service became too much. Orla did manage to pull herself together, but Erin could not find the same amount of courage as her cousin, no matter how much she tried.
She could barely speak as everyone in the church read out the Lord's prayer. Orla only muttered the words but she could at least vocalise herself. Erin just did not have the strength to do it, even with the encouragement of Anna, Gerry and the courage that she could see from her cousin next to her. At a mumble she completed the prayer, though refused to say one part of it. There was no need for her to ask God not to lead her into temptation, for there was nothing left for her to be tempted by. James was her temptation. He had been the moment he arrived in Derry, when she first saw his beautiful smile and his muscular frame. She'd been unable to resist him then, yet she could not see how it could be wrong to submit to him and give her body to his love. Sadly, when the thoughts ran through her mind, it only made her cry even more as she would never be able to enjoy that love again.
The service reached the stage where eulogies would be delivered. With only a few days to prepare, the question of who would deliver them was hastily banded around the family until someone stepped forward to do it. At first, there was going to be a eulogy each, but that would mean a lot longer sat in church having to stare at the coffins, by which point Erin and Orla would have had enough. A joint eulogy was therefore proposed but there were far less volunteers when it came to a joint one. Anna was enthusiastic about doing one, however Gerry forbid her from doing so, the pressure of holding an audience of mourners being ridiculous for a four year old, though he made sure to praise for her courage for speaking up to want to do it. Eventually, one candidate did step forward, the only one to do so. Taking the day by the scruff of the neck, Michelle put herself forward to be the one to do so. In any other circumstances, giving Michelle an audience full of people to spew to would be an absolutely horrendous idea, but her own brand of positivity was exactly what was needed. She could push tears back into eyes that would previously have seeped them uncontrollably with her sheer personality.
As the priest called for the eulogy to begin, Michelle looked across to the snivelling Clare who nodded her on. Clare was panicking and worrying all morning about just about everything that could go wrong at the funeral, but Michelle managed to calm her somewhat as they waited for the hearses. Being herself, her tears did return during the service, but dabbing them away with one of Sean's handkerchiefs, she did not wail as to not draw attention to herself. Making her way up between the aisles, the young Mallon glanced to her left to find Orla's warm smile. The dried makeup made her look like a coal miner although Orla being Orla, she retained her usual essence of beauty around it. There was a nod from her too, wishing for her friend to deliver a fitting send off for both men but especially her husband. It was nothing less than they deserved. Erin could not nod or smile to Michelle because her head was in her hands as she sobbed away.
Clearing her throat, she scanned the room to find morose faces staring back at her. From the men dressed in military uniform to the nosy old ladies at the back of the church, the common theme was melancholy. James and David meant a lot to a great number of people.
"Ye know, I didn't really know what I was going to say about David or James this morning when I woke up…".
In her grief-stricken mind, Erin cursed Michelle for not having prepared something in advance. The whole reason that they'd allowed her to do it, apart from having no other willing speakers, was that she would take it seriously. Failing to plan for one of the most important speeches she was going to give was a poor start. Jumping to conclusions however, Erin was soon proven to have written her friend off too easily.
"I suppose ye never really think that ye'll ever be in the position where you have to find something to say about two people that you expected to live the rest of yer life alongside. Not yet anyway, like. It got me thinking about what they would want me to say about them… ye know… how they would want to be remembered".
A positive smile on her face, the hearts of those watching on began to lift. It was not that Michelle did not think about what she was going to be say, for she'd done that extensively since she knew she would deliver the eulogies, but it was a case of how a twenty year old was supposed to prepare. She'd told her audience just that, that someone so young should never have been faced with eulogising at the funeral of two people her own age. One of them even being her cousin, an Englishman that she'd been incredibly rude too when he'd arrived in the city. There were dips of head throughout the rows, the young and the old alike coming to agree with her stance.
"I can't remember a time when I didn't know David a little bit…". She continued. "… in school he was always so energetic, full of life, like. I remember one day when he just couldn't stop talkin' and Sister Michael got so angry with him because he wouldn't shut up. He just didn't care one bit about what she thought, even though it meant he ended up with about twenty detentions. I asked him after, 'David, why did ye do it?', and he just said to me, 'Because I can Michelle… because I can'. That was David, it really was".
His parents smiled at the memory that Michelle rekindled. They'd disciplined him severely for his attitude against Sister Michael but looking back, they too believed it reflected their son. David was almost a blend of his two also deceased older brothers. He held Peter's sensibility but Lorcan's flair of mischief. In just over a year of war though, they'd lost all three. Sister Michael herself remembered the day far less fondly as it was a rare time when her control over the school children slipped. She was sat towards the middle of the church, her eye constantly keeping watch over Erin and Orla. It did not matter that they were twenty years old, she still cared for all of the children she'd brought through the school irrespective of who they were.
"He made Orla really happy as well…".
Turning her attention to her brunette friend, Orla sniffled slightly but appreciated Michelle's kind words. A reminder of her love for her dearly departed husband, lit a cooling fire in her heart, a pulchritudinous memory for her to cling to.
"The day I found out that they were getting married was cracker, so it was. It was a bit weird like, still teenagers and getting married but they were a perfect match… and to me they always will be. I know how happy David made Orla and of course, then little Marie came along. She's our little wee angel, so she is!"
Marie was not with her mother, instead being looked after by her grandmother. Sarah lifted her up at Michelle's words, to show her off the wonderful little girl that David and Orla welcomed into the world just over a year prior. She was not dressed in black like the rest of them, lighting up the room in her little pink dress and white socks. The one year old did not know what was going on at all, although she seemed unfazed by the eyes that were all on her.
"I think the rest of you's would agree with me that she's David's little girl. She's a wee cutie but ye can see his eyes when ye look at her closely. Her Daddy was a hero, so he was and I reckon Marie will be one too".
Nobody challenged Michelle's view as they were all in agreement that Marie carried David's features. In time, there was no doubt that his personality would live on through her, mixing with Orla's vibrant free-spirited nature to make the perfect young woman. That was her final word on him though, a send-off fitting for the friend that she'd lost. He might not have been a massive ride in her eyes, but he was a brilliant husband to one of her best friends and above all, a caring gentleman. Michelle would miss him a lot. Not as much as she would miss James though. Nowhere near.
Finding it hard to think of what to say about David, it was a lot harder to vocalise what she wanted to say about her cousin.
"I won't lie to ye all, I was horrible to James when he was here. I was… really… really nasty…".
Michelle had to stop, to wipe away the water that leaked from her own eyes. The makeup which she carefully applied earlier that morning was ruined by her tears, not that she stopped to think about caring. Erin took her hands away from her face to see why she'd stopped speaking, her wide blurry eyes staring at her friend. They locked eyes, Michelle horrified by just how upset Erin was. They all knew how badly Erin would take James' death, but she truly was a broken young woman. Her makeup smudged, her hair frazzled, shivering in fear in the church, it was a look that Michelle hoped she would never have to witness again.
Composing herself for a few seconds, she continued on with the remembrance of her cousin.
"We all know what it's like when we hear an English accent, ye just want the limeys to go back to where they've came from…".
Amazingly for a funeral, Michelle managed to draw a chuckle from the mourners. It could have been considered disrespectful to have such amusement at what was meant to be a service of sorrow and remembrance, but in a way, she knew James would have liked it. He was too much of a gentleman to want everyone to be depressed after his passing. All he ever did was make people happy, lifting their spirits with his gentlemanly kindness. He would want them to be just as happy without him too.
"In my head I made James just another limey that we didn't want but… but he was so much more than that. He was a gentleman that I don't think I've ever seen the likes of before, ye know and I… I guess I was quite jealous of him. I don't think any English fella could ever just walk into Ireland like James did… fitting in the way he did, being everyone's friend. He just… he was brilliant".
She stopped again, noticing that Erin was finally smiling. Mustering the courage that previously eluded her, the young Quinn glowed at the description of her fella. Michelle had always been disgustingly horrible to him during the few months that he'd resided in Derry before the war, the two having argued about it on more than one occasion. For her friend to look back, with guilt and regret, and re-evaluate him, could only ever make her smile.
"The way he looked after Erin was pure class. I've never seen her as happy as she was when she was with him. Another pair that were made for each other, so they were. I don't know what he got up to every day flying his planes, but I know how proud we all were when he got himself promoted. He was an ace, so he was… I… well I can't go back and change things but I wish I'd have been able to tell him how much I loved him myself. I… I think… sorry…".
Michelle's eulogy for her cousin came to an abrupt end as she broke down herself. Her overwhelming guilt forced its way out of her system at the most inopportune time, right in front of a full church audience who would watch her cry. She was not alone though. Erin, Orla and Clare all rose from their seats to form a huddle around her, where they cried together. It was an uncommon sight for church, with some of the nosy old ladies at the back baulking at seeing what they were doing, but they were all left contending with Joe's ire when he turned around to scowl at them upon hearing their snickering.
Two minutes passed before the priest moved them on gently, an act which all four of them were grateful for. It was a rare moment between the four Derry Girls in their adult life, one where they all came together to grieve over two men they'd lost as a group.
Speeding up the service, the priest soon reached the end of the mass inside. All of the prayers that needed to be spoken, were so as well as the hymns that needed to be sung, being so too. The pallbearers were invited to the altar, where they received his blessing alongside the funeral director before returning to their positions to lift the coffins onto their shoulders. The priest said one final piece before dismissing the audience. They'd requested that only the family be present for the burial, paying kind thanks to anyone else who'd attended whilst politely requesting that they leave. Complete compliance was achieved with no additional fuss from any of the attendees who might have disagreed.
James and David were to be buried side by side, on a row which featured other fairly recently deceased residents of the city. David's brothers were on the row behind them, their graves directly behind the two dead men of the Fleet Air Arm. A quartet of pain, the crosses in the ground marked out where the brave men had fallen for their country, trying to stop the war machine that raged through Europe. The Germans and Italians had claimed two men apiece, the latter claiming a man who was more important than any of them knew at the church graveyard that morning. All bar one man, who didn't truly know the full answer himself…
Part of the plan made with Lieutenant Colonel Menzies, Smithers took up his role as the fictitious Captain Penrose of the Fleet Air Arm. A man who was equal in rank to James, he was chosen to represent them by the Admiralty. That was the story that was told to anyone who asked. He had, of course, made sure that he was the man sent by the Admiralty. He was there for two reasons, first and foremost to watch on as the family reacted to the passing of both James and David, ready to report back anything of note to Menzies. But there was other business at hand too, a meeting of convenience that would take place as the relatives laid the men to rest in the cold Irish soil. Charlene Kavanagh had proven herself to be of great value to their cause over the year or so that she'd been under their instruction. With James' death, she no longer held any active role. Keen not to lose her impressive loyalty, Menzies instructed his officer to give her a new set of instructions for a task which no one outside of the three of them could know about. Even Emerald Two would be bypassed for the mission.
"Miss Kavanagh".
The two were stood away from where the two were to be lowered into the ground, watching the huddle as they all listened intently to the priest. In the exact same fashion that Joe and Gerry spoke before the service, neither made eye contact with the other to make it seem as if they were just interested in what was going on, rather than discussing espionage.
"Captain…". She pryed.
"Penrose". He responded sharply. "Your efforts to the country have been most appreciated".
"Aye, well… I am just doing what my Da would want me to".
Her father was a most valuable ally to Britain too. Smithers never dealt with the old Colonel himself, but Menzies was an acquaintance. The Kavanagh family were assets which they would hold onto for as long as they possibly could, their loyalty unquestioned.
"We have something for you…". He informed her. "… but we cannot discuss it here".
"I understand". She replied.
"Good".
She understood that they would need to retreat to the comfortable surroundings of her family's estate to discuss the mission that she would be given. Before they left though, Smithers did need to make one thing very clear to her.
"You are to cut ties with Miss Quinn immediately. She is no longer a concern to us".
"Thank god". Charlene praised the instruction. "Not a day too soon".
The pair of them left without anyone noticing them go, getting into the car that Smithers was given for the trip to the funeral. An era was over for the activities of British Intelligence in Derry, with a new one to begin that had Charlene as the driving force behind it. Emerald Two would be kept on, completing their normal duties of reporting any findings of enemy collusion, but their importance was far less than the young Kavanagh's now was.
Back around the site of the two graves, the priest completed a final set of prayers that would see the young men committed to the ground. Handkerchiefs were left dabbing at eyes, with most of the family choking up again at the symbolisation of what was about to happen. The world was about to truly let go of James and David, even though their bodies were not inside the coffins.
Not everyone was ready to let go.
In her head, Erin was mulling over her options. She did not want to admit defeat, unwilling to allow James to become dead to the world. He'd gone, she knew that, but there still remained a small part of her mind that tried to tell her that he was alive and that there was a mistake. They were cutting him off too soon, she told herself in another breath. He was going to come home and marry her… then everything would be alright, they would see. The memories of the summer of love that they shared together the year before still burned brightly in her aching head. The Saturday afternoons where they would spend so much time together, even going up into the air in his plane to look out over the world… the memories were still at the forefront of her mind. Then there were the times when they would make love in the heat of the afternoon, when her fingers would glide across his perfect chest. How could she let that go?
She had no choice though, watching on as the coffins were lowered together. The final resting places, sans the actual corpses, of James Maguire and David Donnelly were filled with wooden boxes adorned with their names. Engraved into small plaques on each coffin, they would easily be identified when dug up again once their actual bodies were recovered from Italy. Whether that would ever happen was still unknown, but even if it was to happen, it would certainly be some years away. In those years Erin and Orla would have to move on and find other loves if they chose to, but by the time that any bodies could be recovered, the two men would be a distant memory to a lot of people in Derry. Just another two men that the city lost to the war.
Gerry could sense his daughter's mental anguish next to him, putting an arm around her shoulder to pull her in close to him as the coffin was lowered. Erin's emotions all flooded out into her father's shoulder. His duty was to protect her from the ills of the world but all he could do was offer his shoulder to cry on, as there was nothing that he could do to protect from having to let go of the man that she loved.
They stayed and watched as the graves were filled in, the soil covering over the wooden boxes that lay in the cold ground. Orla was able to keep herself together, sniffling at her loss but knowing that a new life began from that moment. Marie needed her mother to be there for her where her father could not be. Taking her daughter into her arms, she left with them all except from Erin and Gerry. Erin simply could not leave without giving one final message to James, even though he would never hear it.
Kneeling down next to the cross which also held his name, she did not care that her black dress became dirty with soil stains. She leant forward, placing a kiss on the freezing metal where James' name would be engraved forever.
"I love you, my wee English fella".