Chapter 43: Blitzing the night away 15th April 1941
They were not expecting to have an Easter break, but after months of hard effort, the work at the factory had begun to slow. Without any major engagements for the army, at least not on the immediate front with France, uniforms were not being destroyed in combat, which meant the army were fully stocked. Pilots and sailors still required new uniforms but even the Air Force and Navy were beginning to reach their maximum limit for what they needed. The whole month of April was frightfully dull at work, the easiest month since the war began. It made for calmer days for the girls, a couple of times even being allowed back home early when there was absolutely nothing to do. Meyler was especially kind to them in the wake of Erin's return to her old self, at least in working terms, which allowed them to enjoy plenty of freedom. They did not dare to say, but a hint of normality was returning to their lives.
The same could not be said for the state of the world. The war might not have been directly on their doorstep, but it raged on in various other places. Bombs continued to fall on English cities, with London continually hit as the Luftwaffe refused to stop attacking. The attacks were almost futile though, as nearly a year on from when they'd first started, they'd failed to achieve their desired impact of damaging British morale. If anything, the consistent bombing fostered a spirit that was even sturdier than the one that had been in place at the beginning of the previous summer. The more the bombs fell, the more the people of London and beyond would defiantly go about their business. There were casualties of course, innocent civilians caught up in the business of death when they should not have been. The whole of the country pulled together though, the Royal Family included, who'd found out that even Buckingham Palace would be targeted. No respect for the Royal residence was given by the German Air Force.
For every gain in spirit and resilience though, there were losses on another fronts. The African campaign against the Italians, supplemented by the heroism of the Swordfish Squadrons at Taranto the prior November, was going very well until a certain man entered the fray on the opposite side. The Germans were ready to give their support to African operations alongside their Italian allies, who were embarrassing themselves thoroughly against the British forces in the desert. Erwin Rommel was the man who was changing the tide in Africa. Appointed to lead the German forces in the desert, Rommel was a far better commander than any that the Italians could offer. Arriving in February, he'd re-organised his forces efficiently, aided massively by British numbers being cut as the men were needed in Greece. Churchill decided that it was required himself, Britain having long standing obligations to Greece in case of German attack. The previously brilliant campaign being conducted was hit with hammer blows from both sides, with Rommel wasting no time in pushing his newfound advantage.
Towards the end of March, the true power that Rommel could muster was revealed fully when he committed to occupy El Agheila. The battle was already raging around the Libyan city from earlier in the month, but with a concerted push, the British forces holding it knew they could hold out no longer. A desperate retreat back to Egypt began, back past former strongholds such as Benghazi, another city that was victim to the legendary partnership of Maguire and Donnelly. September was well in the past though, and back under Axis control, the city no longer feared the aerial threat of the two men. They were being pushed back all the way into the heart of Egypt, with Alexandria and Cairo not that far out of the sights of the Germans, who still retained some of their Italian colleagues for the fight.
However, he was facing a problem at one city along the way. Tobruk, against all the odds, held out against the German Afrika Korps' repeated attacks. They were trapped, with all of the territory around them on land being occupied by their enemies. At sea though, it was a different story. The Italian Fleet was in disarray after Taranto, but there was still a fighting force capable of taking on the British Mediterranean Fleet under the right circumstances. Sadly for the Italians, it was under circumstances favourable to Admiral Cunningham, thanks to the incredible work of the decoders at Bletchley Park. Knowing that the Italians were at sea, the British Admiral lured them in before five minutes of absolute bombardment when half of the fleet walked straight into the lion's den of British battleships without knowing that they were there. With no radar to help them, they were ripped apart at Cape Matapan, where the remarkable Swordfish played their part again, albeit without the most talented man to ever fly one being present.
A further complication arose around the world too, in favour of Britain. The United States, the apprentice that now stood tall over its old master, were becoming increasingly more involved in a war they'd desperately tried to stay out of it. Thanks in part to the American envoy, 'Wild Bill' Donovan, as he was known, Washington were informed of just how strong the British resolve was when it came to standing up to Nazi Germany. He'd been in Britain on days where the capital was bombed, staying in shelters himself, watching on as a country received bloody nose after bloody nose but kept on rising from what should have been the canvas. He was privately confident, a confidence he imparted on President Roosevelt, that they should aid Britain, who merely needed additional numbers to win the war to add to their spirit. No formal alliance was yet made, but America were beginning to sell weapons to Britain, riling up Hitler who was forced to think about what to do if America were to be involved. Although his own ally in the east, the Japanese, were thinking along the same lines too.
Back in Derry, they did not have to think about war strategy, content to enjoy the Easter break which they were given. Once they'd discovered they had the weekend to themselves the week before, the girls planned a full itinerary around the plans of the family. The weather was somewhat reasonable each day too, with the odd shower mixed in with regular sunshine. Church was the main obstacle to plan around, especially when Sean would drag Geraldine and Clare to almost every service that was on that weekend. The diminutive blonde would not dare go against her fathers wishes even though she was twenty years old and more than within her right to. She was still very much a home girl though, her respect for his iron fist being greater than her wish to be with her friends. He could be very unreasonable with Geraldine, she knew, Clare not wishing to come away with the bruises that her mother did.
The Quinn's, McCool's and Mallon's were far more relaxed about church, though the girls were expected to attend on Good Friday and Easter Sunday as a bare minimum. To help their own causes for the day they wished to spend completely as friends on the Tuesday, they also went to church on the Monday evening. It was good enough for their parents, Sean even relenting and allowing Clare out unchallenged, much to her surprise. They'd planned an early start that day, with breakfast at the Quinn house chalked up for six o'clock so that they could be out by seven. There was not vast amounts to do in the city during the war, but taking a picnic with them and plenty of reading material, they could at least relax.
Two additional guests would be joining the four friends, a matter of necessity more than anything. Orla wanted her precious little daughter to come along with them too, with Michelle being adamant that her wee angel came when her friend suggested it. Clare and Erin didn't protest either, the former being particularly happy to have the company of the little girl that they all cared a lot for. Marie continued to progress well, maturing alongside Orla who was learning to mature as a parent every day along with her. For a young woman who was famed for being distracted easily, her focus was laser-like when it came to her daughter. Their second guest was the family dog, Napoleon, loyally accompanying them on their trip out to one of the parks in the city. A quiet and unseen beacon of strength, he would often make his way to Erin when she was crying, offering a head to pat and a warm body to snuggle into. The Labrador did not spend many nights at the Quinn house, but in the evenings when he came round with Joe and found himself with Erin, Joe would leave the dog with his granddaughter to help comfort her. Always obedient, he was a brilliant ally to have in a time of great sorrow.
A morning of playing with Marie and Napoleon ensued, the girls smiling away brightly in the warmth of the mild sunshine. In addition to speaking, over the months that followed her first words, Marie began to walk too. Slowly and steadily at first, by the time that morning came around she was darting around the park like a marathon runner. She particularly enjoyed kicking a ball around, and though none of them were particularly keen on football, they all participated anyway. There was no game as such but utilising the little they knew about football, Michelle made a goal and occupied it whilst the rest of them took shots at her. They were all terrible, Marie being the best in the end, although she was aided greatly by Michelle diving out of the way of some of the shots.
Lunchtime soon rolled around though, which meant they could start their lovely picnic. Erin and Clare set out the blankets while Michelle got the food together. Orla sorted out Marie behind them, Napoleon standing watch over mother and daughter. The dog seemed to be in a very jumpy mood that day, having barked at almost everyone that passed the girls when they were playing football and when they were sat eating. His barking only got worse throughout their lunch break, setting Marie off crying once forcing Erin to reprimand the dog. He seemed to be quieter after that, but as soon as they'd packed the picnic back into the wicker basket they'd taken out with them, he began to act up again.
"Napoleon!" Erin shouted at him again. "Be quiet, boy!"
Growling back at her in an unexpected show of defiance, for the first time in a long time Erin felt slightly afraid of him. Noting the fear of her friend, Michelle stepped into the breach, reminding the dog who was boss.
"Oi! Ye heard her boy, keep it down!"
He certainly took note of Michelle's instructions, even though they were unfamiliar to him, settling back down in the afternoon sun. After a few minutes, the strangely behaving dog was asleep, concluding his baffling behaviour. It interrupted their reading, except from Orla, who was asleep with Marie on the blanket that they shared, her little daughter clenched tightly to her side. They'd all fawned over the scene at first as the two slept, a cute and loving picture of their bond. It was an image that needed David in it to be truly complete, each of them picturing him there with his family individually. Sadly, nothing could be done to remedy it at all, nearly half a year on from his untimely demise.
"The hell is up with him today!" Michelle moaned. "I've never seen him act up like that before".
"Neither have I". Erin responded.
"Ye know, my Da told me something about dogs once".
The other two looked to Clare with raised eyebrows, wondering which glorious life lesson Sean Devlin had given to his daughter. He was a man of very odd beliefs in many ways, not just his devotion to religious ones, with plenty of strange ideas about how certain elements of the world worked.
"Aye right…". A sceptical Erin commented.
"Hear me out!" Clare demanded, the other two reluctantly nodding. "He said that dogs could have premonitions… ye know, seein' things that will happen in the future that are good or bad".
"We know what premonitions are, Clare!" Her fellow blonde huffed. "How could a Labrador have one? He's ye know, a dog!"
"I don't know but maybe he's seen something".
"I think you've fuckin' taken somethin'" Michelle snorted. "Have ye been swiping morphine like Winnie the Needlesnatcher?".
Winnie was another one of Michelle's seemingly insane stories about something she'd seen. The girls really didn't know what to think of her ridiculous tale about the seventy year old she'd apparently seen climb through the window into the doctor's surgery to empty the medicine cupboard of its pain relief supplies. Granted, the surgery was robbed on the same night of the alleged break in that formed her story, though Erin suspected her friend's story may have been egged on by the substantial reward for information. It was more than enough for Michelle to get hammered on a regular basis on, that was for sure.
"Not that again Michelle…". Clare sighed.
"What? I'm tellin' ye, she's nimble for an old hag, so she is. Ye wouldn't believe it what I saw that night, it was unreal".
"No. We don't believe it".
Erin proceeded to roll her eyes in addition to her comment, Clare shaking her head in agreement opposite her. Michelle knew it was pointless in trying to argue any further, but she was determined to be proven correct again like she'd been about Norah in the past as well as plenty of other apparently wild stories she'd told. There were the occasional lies mixed in, but on the whole, in her own mind at least, she was a teller of the truth.
Peace returned for the rest of them, each settling into their books whilst enjoying the serenity of an afternoon that they could spend together. Although completed at a far more sedate pace than their adventures during schooltime were, being able to just spend a peaceful afternoon together was a blessing during the war. There was always the threat of bombs, even in Derry where none had yet fallen, but thanks to the RAF's dominant display over the skies of Southern England during the previous year's summertime, the Germans only ever bombed at night. The bombing was far more terrifying at night of course, not that they'd truly experienced an evening of it yet.
Orla and Marie both woke after a while, slightly dazed and confused at first until Clare's beaming smile reminded the former of where they were. Lifting Marie up into her arms as she rose, one smiling face soon became three as they all looked on at mother and daughter.
"Ach, alright there sleepyheads!" Michelle greeted them.
"Mic-helle!". Marie called out to her.
Her book thrown to one side, Michelle raced over to Marie to scoop her up into her arms. All of their hearts softened at the caring scene, a caring side to their friend that was becoming visible more often, cherished further for each appearance. She invested a lot of her loving heart into the little girl to act as another figure in her life, to fill the void left by David. A father to the wee angel she could not be, but a strong, almost secondary mother was well within her capability.
"Mic-helle!"
"Aye that's right Marie, that's me". Michelle told her, clutching her closely to her chest. "Do ye like cuddles with yer Auntie Michelle?"
"Ye!"
"Good girl!"
She did not hand Marie back over to Orla for a minute, the two cuddling unopposed. The little girl in her arms was so precious, stirring thoughts once more of her own prospect of being a mother in the future. Petrified of ever committing to another man but even more worried by what people would say about her as a single mother, the young Mallon did not know how she would achieve it but definitely wanted to do so. There would come a time, somewhere in the future, that all of the stars would align. It was a wait that she was happy to conduct, the longing for a child pushed back away to the rear of her mind for another day.
Back within her mother's grasp, Marie settled to read a book of her own along with Orla. They both enjoyed the illustrations, Orla never having grown out of looking at them. Clare, Erin and Michelle were all soon back to books of their own, whilst Napoleon stayed calmly asleep by their side having finally settled. They spent another half an hour or so sat on their blankets before deciding that they'd had enough for that part of the day, planning to spend the rest of it at the Quinn house before they separated. Working as a team, as usual, they packed away everything smartly before making a swift exit from the park. Pushing Marie in her pram, Orla led the way back to the house with Michelle at her side, Clare and Erin falling in line behind them. The conversation went back to work, where they would be the following day as their break came to an end.
"I bet the rest of the week will be mental…". Michelle commented. "… always feckin' is whenever we have a break!"
The dread in the pits of their stomachs was always present after multiple days away from the factory, even sometimes on a Monday morning. Working a three-day week would ensure that there would be no rests for the remainder of it in order for them to fulfil everything that they needed to. All of the women would usually work at a ridiculous pace during it, banding together to ensure that they could all get home on time on the Friday evening. No one wanted to see a colleague left to try to catch up alone, especially not on a Friday.
"Aye, we'll be workin' till we bleed". Erin concluded grimly. "At least the weather's decent".
"Too right, makes Friday night all the more sweeter… if ye know what I mean".
All of them knew exactly what she meant. Michelle and a Friday night meant Michelle disobeying her parents to stay out to find herself a fella to spend the night with. Though she'd learnt that taking the fella back to her house was not a good idea, she was yet to comply Martin and Deirdre's wishes to not go back to the fella's. They could not say too much, Michelle an adult in control of her own destiny, but it still did not sit well with them when she would go galivanting off for the night wearing a frock that showed more of her than it did cover her.
"I wonder who the lucky fella will be this week". Clare snarkily commented.
"Well I have had my eye on one, I must admit". She replied confidently. "One of those soldiers, so he is. Big lad, no brains, probably a good shag… my type of fella".
"Really Michelle? A soldier?"
"Alright Erin calm down! It's hardly like he's a Nazi!"
There were many soldiers stationed in and around the city, some of them locals and some of the British. The girls were all keen to learn which category the specific lad fell into, hoping for Michelle's sake that she wasn't getting the poor lad into too much trouble with her temptations.
"Is he English?" Orla questioned.
"No Orla, he's from Strabane actually…". Michelle informed her. "… I was talkin' to him the other week, but he had to go back to the barracks, so he did. He said he'd be out the Friday after Easter though, so my eyes will be peeled".
"He might not want to see ye". Clare remarked, with a fair amount of snark still.
Coming to a stop, Michelle turned around to the little blonde, who stared back at her in fear of what she was going to say. It was fair to say that the dark-haired girl was not amused by her friend's persistent comments, which were annoying her greatly. She would make sure that they would not continue.
"How can any lad resist…". She stopped, running her hands down her sides dramatically. "… this!"
Shaking her hips slightly to manifest her joyful verve, Clare was finding it increasingly harder to resist Michelle the way she was flaunting herself. Those thoughts were becoming annoyingly more frequent when it came to Michelle, who was just her friend, she kept telling herself. There was no way that she was of the same mind as her even in the slightest, having bedded more fellas than the Germans had killed it seemed. Michelle was very attractive though but locked away from the world that Clare wished to live in, in more ways than one. Unobtainable through their friendship and the dark glares of society, the thoughts were consistently pushed away to a different place in her mind where they could be held without fear of discovery. The last thing she was going to do was tell Michelle…
"Some fellas do have self-control, Michelle. You just don't attract those types do ye?" Erin winked.
"See Clare, Erin gets it!" Michelle exclaimed, putting her arm around Erin's shoulders. "Besides, we need to get you back lookin' for a fella".
Clare had hoped Michelle had forgotten about the date that never happened, but it appeared she had not. The double date that her friend was supposedly arranging did not go ahead as planned, the deaths of James and David putting pay to any happiness that could be found that week. In the weeks that followed, they were so focused on getting through each day at work, that none of them stopped to think about the hunt they were arranging for Clare to find someone. However, the night was always in Michelle's mind, she'd merely been unable to find a convenient time to mention it. Months on from when it should have happened, she was all for arranging it again.
"I… erm…". She panicked, unable to find a response.
"Ha! Ye can't get out of it that easily, Clare!" Michelle shouted exuberantly as they began to walk again. "How about Saturday night, that way ye can be back earlier because I wouldn't want ye to have yer Da takin' yer block off Sunday mornin' if ye can't get up for church".
"That's nice of ye Michelle". Orla noted.
"Aye I'm dead kind to wee Clare, aren't I?"
Forcing the young Devlin into a date with a fella was the unkindest thing that she could do to her friend, but Michelle was blissfully unaware of the upset she was causing by doing so. She did not have to mention anything about the date either, making it all the more angering for her friend that she'd done so. The past should have been left where it was, in the same way that they were trying to help Erin and Orla move on from theirs. It would be foolish to disagree with her though, and just like she'd been in the Autumn, Clare found herself backed into a corner with no other answer available other than yes.
"Fine". She huffed.
"Yes!" Michelle roared. "I already have a plan for the fellas… this is going to be so cracker!"
Cracker was the last thing it was going to be for Clare, who was already contemplating how she would deal with a fella trying to kiss her, should it go that far. Michelle's previous insistence was that it would be pleasant but taking her word for it was never a good idea when she was known to be extremely… economical with the truth.
She would have to face up to it like many men and women were facing up to more difficult lives throughout Europe, at the cost of her heart.
A heart which would never receive the love it so desperately wanted.
While the girls were out enjoying themselves with Marie and Napoleon, Mary and Gerry were also out in the city. Taking Anna with them, the three of them were walking around the shops, some of which were open. There was nothing for them to buy, with little money spare for anything anyway, although Mary wished to see if there were any buttons she could buy to repair one of her cardigans. No one in the house owned up to damaging it, but she was sure that one of them must have caught it whilst carrying it up the stairs for her. The button was never found, and it never would be thanks to the collusion of everyone else in the house. During one of her days of upset, Erin was the culprit for the missing button. Sensing the impending argument on the day in question, Gerry hid the button in one of his work's coats, placing it onto one of the storage ships in the harbour so that it would remain away from Mary's eye forever.
They'd been out for about an hour or so, with Mary finding the buttons that she wanted very quickly but still dragging Gerry and Anna around the rest of the city centre. She insisted that the fresh air would do them good, though Gerry suspected there was an ulterior motive to their constant back and forth through the streets. Every so often, their route would take them into viewing distance of Pump Street, where she would deliberately stop to look down. Joe was round early that morning before disappearing off without saying exactly where he was going or what he was up to. As soon as Sarah came over after he'd gone, the sisters were convinced he was off to see Maeve, giving them a chance to catch him. Unfortunately, Sarah had a lot of washing to get done that morning, which left her unable to flex her espionage skills, which did not exist.
"Are you ok love?"
Mary stopped again, looking down Pump Street for Joe, but this time Gerry spoke up to say something. He'd exchanged frowned glances with Anna on the prior trip that skirted close to the street, with a second exchange convincing him that something needed to be said. Anna could even sense that all was not right and she was only five, albeit being about the smartest five year old anyone had ever seen.
"Why wouldn't I be!?" Mary answered defensively.
"No reason love…". Gerry smiled. "… but ye know, we have been past Pump Street a few times and ye keep stoppin' so…".
"He's up there I'm tellin' ye!"
Resisting the temptation to roll his eyes, Anna rolled hers for him. It hadn't taken long to get the truth from his wife, who was once again transfixed by the street in question. In multiple attempts she was yet to get a glimpse of Joe, wasting their time by her constant visits to the end of the street. It took quite a lot to frustrate the calm, almost placid Gerry, but she was doing her best to frustrate him greatly.
"Come on love, I'm sure Joe's not doin' anythin' he shouldn't. He's an elderly man, he's hardly goin' to be runnin' riot all over Pump Street, is he?"
"Ye don't know what he's capable of, Gerry!" Mary growled back at him. "My da's crafty, so he is, especially when it comes to women. My poor mother's barely co…".
"There he is!"
Anna's smarts were hitting new levels in her father's eyes. Distracting Mary with her fake sighting of Granda Joe, she saved them both the pain of a statement that Anna had heard three times in her lifetime, Gerry having the monologue about Mary's mother barely being cold in the ground more times than he cared to remember. It was a rare time when Sarah wasn't there alongside her, mind, not that it made any more comforting that she was not. Lying to her mother might not have been the best idea, but with Gerry prepared to protect his youngest from his wife's tongue, she'd played the situation perfectly. A little giggle did her no harm too, Gerry unable to hide the smile on his face when she did.
Eventually, after a couple of huffs, Mary walked off in the direction of the shops again, conceding defeat to husband and daughter. As they walked away, Joe exited a house from Pump Street behind them. Mary and Sarah's hypothesis that he was there was absolutely spot on, but they would never get to find out how right they were. Hurrying off in the direction of the McCool household, Joe was in the clear, having watched Mary from behind the curtains of the house that he was in before he finally ventured out. A risky game he played when his daughters were sniffing around what he was up to, though Joe could be a wily old fox when he needed to be.
Walking back through the city centre, two familiar faces walked out of a shop in the distance. Sean and Geraldine Devlin were also out and about that morning as Clare enjoyed herself with her friends, attending morning mass before heading into the city. Smiling as the families spotted each other, the Devlin's stopped where they were, Mary making a beeline for them whilst Gerry and Anna followed behind.
"Ach alright there Mary". Geraldine addressed her. "Yer lookin' well".
"Ach thanks Geraldine, yer not lookin' too bad yerself".
Unused to such pleasant comments, Geraldine found herself blushing. Sean would rarely pay her a compliment like that whenever they were out, failing to notice her beauty after years of marriage. It was hardly a marriage of great intimacy unlike others, Sean being very adamant that they did not get up to any business that could be described as funny. It wouldn't harm his cause to make her feel young and special again, but she would not dare ask either. The back of his hand was not a surface she was wanted to have contact with again.
"Ye alright Gerry?". Sean addressed him in his usually bland tone.
"Not so bad, Sean. Enjoying the sun?"
"Aye it's not bad, is it? Makes up for the terrible news at church this morning…".
The three of them, Anna included, all sighed at hearing that another life was lost. Church was often the place where they would hear of the deaths of Derry's fighting men, when the families had not yet made public their losses to the rest of the community. There were still many men out fighting from the city, brave young lads who were prepared to volunteer to fight the Nazi menace. Stirring memories of James and David's deaths, a tear was in Mary's eyes as she looked towards Sean. Out of the corner of it though, she noticed that Geraldine was scowling at him from over his shoulder. A most peculiar reaction when it came to the deaths of the poor lads, she was totally unsure of what to make of it.
"Which fella was it?" Gerry enquired.
"Fella?" Sean frowned. "No it was nothing to do with a fella".
Having made the assumption that anyone would have done given the time that they were living in, Mary and Gerry were both left very confused by his reply. Anna was too, running through her brilliant mind to try to piece together what it could be, given what she knew about Sean. Proving to be an unnecessary search, Clare's Da answered it for her.
"There are rumours floating around, Father Peter told me, that there is another dyke among us…".
Vocalising his disgust for those who sought love from their own sex, he almost spat the word out as he explained what the problem was. An embarrassed Geraldine began to glow red beside him, aware of how much more open minded that their friends were. Nothing surprised Mary and Gerry when it came to Sean and his beliefs, sickening them at times with how draconian they could be. Sure, if Erin or Anna were to reveal that they were that way inclined, they'd be worried for how the city would react to it, but they would still love and respect their daughters' choices as well as the choice of any other young woman for that matter. Sean seeking to vilify those who felt that way displeased them both.
"Why is that bad?"
Anna on the other hand was surprised. Unversed in the ways of love according to the church, she did not know what a dyke was or why it was problem to be one. Mary's cheeks matched the shades of Geraldine's when her youngest spoke, the day for that conversation being far in the future, she thought. However, Gerry believed differently. Anna was far too smart to have to wait that long for an answer, as she would understand the connotations from the point of view of a relationship without the need to expand the reasoning further.
"Well love…". He began to tell her, bowing his head to her. "… yer taught at church that love should be between a man and a woman, like me and yer ma…".
"Aye…". A still confused Anna nodded her partial understanding.
"A… dyke…". Wincing, Gerry hated the sound of the word rolling off of his tongue. "… is a woman who loves another woman and… not a man".
Taking all of the information in, Anna spent a good ten seconds digesting it to come up with a response. Mary desperately hoped one of them would say something to stop her bringing her opinion into it, because Anna was not socially aware, no child of her age having to be. Geraldine and Sean didn't say anything and she couldn't, leaving Gerry to be the one to have to say something. He was not prepared to do so though, determined to see his daughter develop her analytical brain, believing he knew exactly what she would say.
He was right as well.
"So… why is that bad?"
Possibly the worst question ever asked in the presence of Sean Devlin in history, was uttered by the younger Quinn sister. Mary could not find a scream, the air sucked out of her throat when it was required. She cursed Gerry in her head instead, thoroughly prepared to explode at him as soon as they got home for creating tension with Sean. Sean himself reared up, shocked to hear such a challenge from a young girl like Anna.
"The bible says it's not natural, Anna…". Sean explained through gritted teeth. "… love should be between a man and a woman only".
"But why?" She pressed.
"Because that's how God wants it to be".
Allowing herself another couple of seconds to think about what Sean told her, Anna tried to understand why God would think that way. For a man that she'd been told was all loving, it would not be right that he would block that love to people who loved someone who was the same as them. In her unconditioned mind, the thought of love being restricted based upon the genders of the two people that share it, was wrong. From over her shoulder, Mary attempted to grab her by the shoulders and pull her away, but Gerry moved over to stop her from doing so. He was going to let his daughter have, and most likely, win, the argument with Sean.
"Why does he get to decide?"
"Because God is the almighty, love and we respect our Lord". Mary told her sincerely, nervously looking towards Sean who nodded.
"But if he loves everyone and wants everyone to be happy, why would the bible say that two women can't love each other? What if they make each other happy?"
He might have been a man of God himself, though not one who would shout about it, but Gerry found himself highly entertained by Anna's introspection of God and religion. Anna was a curious young girl with a fantastic brain, who would challenge what everyone thought was possible on a daily basis. Challenging Sean Devlin on matters of religion was not the wisest decision, but it was one which his daughter held no fear over. Sean could not react in the same way he would with his wife if she'd spoken up against him. If he dare lay a finger on Anna, Gerry would have no hesitation in dealing with him on a far more unfriendlier basis.
"They can't Anna, they're not allowed". Sean was firmer on the second challenge. "That's the way God wants it and we obey him".
"But…".
They were all glaring at Anna except from Gerry. Geraldine joined Mary in praying that Anna would keep her mouth shut, watching her husband grow angrier by the second as Anna continued with her line of curiosity. He was furious that she would question the Lord's teachings, the very set of beliefs that he lived his life by. The girl in front of him was no ordinary five year old though, a different kind of competitor for him to debate with.
Standing her ground with her mother's fiery resolve burning through her, Anna was ready to argue her own beliefs all the way with Sean. She was at the point where it had gone too far though, even if she was right. In her own head, she'd wondered for some time whether God was even real at all. After all, she thought, her Mammy told her that ghosts aren't real because you can't actually see them, but the same woman also made her go to Church to believe in a holy being that she could not see either. Hypocrisy was a word she'd been taught by Sister Michael one day at school, Anna becoming to associate religion with it.
"I think someone didn't have a very good night's sleep". Gerry laughed lightly as he pulled Anna away. "We best be off actually, we've got to get back for lunch soon anyway".
"Us too!" Geraldine piped up. "We'll be seein' you's".
"Ach see ye soon Geraldine".
Relief ran through Mary as the Devlin's walked off, the look in Sean's eyes being enough to frighten even her. She was used to being the officious parent in the house, but at the Devlin's it was very much the other way. Hoping that Geraldine would not have to suffer for what Anna had said, Mary turned her attentions back to her daughter, who was due a stern telling off.
"What in the Lord's name were you playin' at Anna Quinn!" She hissed.
"I didn't agree with Mr Devlin". She replied. "He was wrong! God's not very nice if he doesn't let people love each other!"
Anna began to shout, drawing attention to them on the street. Mortified by the prospect of rumours spreading that her youngest was a deviant, Mary acted quickly to ensure that they would not stay in the public eye for very long.
"I will be having words with you when we get home. Yer grounded!"
"But Mammy…". A tearful Anna tried to argue back.
"No but's Anna! I am very annoyed with you!"
Storming off in the direction of home, ironically right past Pump Street again, Anna was left to begin to cry as she watched her mother walk off. She did not understand the significant influence that the church held over the people nor what the rumours about a deviant child could do to a god fearing woman like Mary.
Although she might not have had her mother's support, Anna most certainly had her father's. Proud of his daughter as ever, he wrapped her up into a hug, lifting her off of her feet. She would be carried home like a Queen, he decided. Mary looked back with wild eyes at the affection he was showing Anna, who was supposed to be in trouble, but he did not care. The argument about the incident with Sean would rage on behind closed doors, no regrets held by him for not stopping Anna. It was important for her to be able to express her opinions, even if they went against the rest of society. He could hardly disagree with her either…
"Yer a good girl, Anna. Daddy loves you".
Whispering it into her ear as he carried her home, Gerry wore a beaming smile on his face. He loved her so much.
Anna remained a pariah in her mother's eyes for much of the day. Gerry came to her defence when Mary began her rant at home, though the two were outnumbered by her superior skills in an argument. Anna was still grounded, but only until dinner, when she would be allowed back to the rest of the family for a couple of hours in the evening. Taking it in her stride, she did some extra schoolwork that was completely unnecessary, but would put her even further ahead. The teachers were already handing her complex mathematical problems to solve, which entertained her even when she could not do them. The thrill of tackling the questions made her happy, an afternoon spent in pure happiness much to Mary's displeasure. For once, her authoritative nature did not pay off, thanks mostly to Gerry failing to stand with her. He was still beaming with pride in how Anna tackled Sean on the topics of love and religion, happy to see Sean squirm when his views were picked apart. The two would always be friends thanks to their daughters, yet Gerry would not shake his view that Sean was, for want of a better word, a bit of a prick.
Erin returned home with her friends for the afternoon, Napoleon returning next door into the care of Joe and Sarah whilst Marie stayed with them. Most of the rest of the afternoon was spent fawning over Orla's little girl, who played with Michelle and Clare mostly, as Erin played the role of supervisor alongside her mother. Orla did not need to spend all of her time playing with her as she received plenty of time to do that every single morning when she woke up. Sharing was very much caring when it came to the wee angel that was Marie Donnelly. Mary got herself involved at times too, not wanting to miss out on any of the fun.
By the early evening, Michelle and Clare returned to their homes, whilst Joe, Sarah and Napoleon arrived from next door for them all to enjoy a family meal. Spreading out around the kitchen and the living room, there were smiles on all of their faces following days that most of them enjoyed. Mary still gave Anna the odd glare to make her know she'd not forgiven and forgotten so easily. Anna knew not to take it too offensively though, more than smart enough to know she'd played dangerously when arguing with Clare's Da about whether a woman could love another woman. Too clever for her own good, it would not be long until her Ma was smiling at her again. Another life lesson taken in her stride.
After the meal, they all sat down to enjoy a pleasant evening of conversation. A lot of it centred around the repeated attacks on Joe about his whereabouts earlier in the day, which he remained tight lipped about. Mary admitted that she'd looked out for him on Pump Street when they'd passed by it, neglecting to mention there were multiple visits. Gerry did happen to mention it though, albeit it only earned him Joe's ire when the family patriarch believed that it was his idea to conduct operations of espionage against him. The rest of them were more than happy to allow Gerry to take the blame so that they could enjoy another argument between him and Joe. It made for all the more entertainment on an evening that was not short of it when Sarah managed to trip over a chair in the living room, falling face first onto the sofa. There were the inevitable theatrics afterwards where she worried that her nose would never be the same again, but Mary consoled her sister whilst trying to stop her eyes rolling out of her head.
Marie fell asleep in Orla's arms around nine o'clock. A sight to behold, there were even tears shed by Mary at the scene of the little girl drifting off into slumber. They could not be cuter if they tried, she thought, Orla's eyes fluttering too as she fought to stay awake after a long day. The girls could have gone out to a dance at the Guildhall that evening with a lot of other people their age, a popular event for the lads and lasses of Derry. However, the thought of being way off the pace at work the following day stopped even Michelle from going out. They needed to be on top form for the hard labour of the next day.
"I suppose we should think about heading up soon".
Erin was the only one left with her parents by the time the wee clock ticked over towards half past ten. With Marie asleep and Orla as good as, Joe and Sarah took the decision to get them back to bed next door before the two became too comfortable. A brilliant evening spent as a family came to an end with smiles on the faces of those heading back next door, although Napoleon had begun to act up again. The dog was mostly sat quietly in the corner during the evening but around the time they decided to go, he'd started to bark. Something troubled their loyal Labrador, though none of them could figure out what. Neither Erin nor Orla mentioned Clare's narrative about Sean's belief in dogs being able to sense terrible events on the horizon, a blessing given the trouble Anna had with the same man earlier that day.
"Aye yer not wrong there love…". Mary agreed with her eldest. "… I will sleep well tonight after all of that walkin' we did earlier".
"Unnecessary walking some of it, Mary".
Staring at her father in disbelief, Erin couldn't believe that he would make such a comment in the late evening. They were supposed to be winding down for bed; comments like that only riled Mary up into a state of argumentativeness that would keep them all awake. Worse still, Anna was fast asleep snoring upstairs and Mary losing her cool would wake her from the sleep she required herself.
"Catch yourself on Gerry!" Wife reprimanded husband. "Are ye colludin' with my Da now? Because you don't seem so keen on catchin' him in the act!"
"Do ye really think Joe would let me collude with him, if I actually wanted him to?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.
"I don't know what to believe, but he's up to somethin' with that tart… it's obvious!"
"Love, if it's that obvious then ye don't need to catch him".
Gerry raised an incredibly fair point that blindsided his wife, his eldest daughter watching on in amazement from where she was sat next to them. Convinced she was asleep and dreaming, watching her father speak to her mother in that way was insanity in a normal world. Bizarre it was though, as she certainly was not yet asleep. To her left, Mary was left to digest her husband failing to take her side again, counting on him to support her when it came to dealing with Joe. Allowing his greatest chance at getting one over on his father in-law to slip through his fingers, Mary couldn't understand Gerry's logic in refusing to agree with her.
"Disgustin so it is, an old man carryin' on like that". She huffed.
"There might be an innocent explanation". Gerry tried to reason. "He might have been to see some old friends or just gone for a long walk".
"Gone to disrespect the memory of my mother, that's what he's done!"
If there was one line of reasoning that could be scrapped in Gerry's eyes, it was that. Joe loved his wife even though she'd been deceased for more than twenty years. He would not even think to do anything that would disrespect the image of her. It was up to him if wanted to seek a new relationship in his latter years, though Gerry firmly believed he'd not gone out to see Maeve that morning. A better theory eluded him, not that it was his fight to have.
Whilst Gerry thought about what he might say in return, a distant noise pricked up their ears. Whatever it was, it was some distance away, but it was not an obvious sound. There were many potential responsible parties for the noise, though at that time of night it was strange for such noises to be heard in the distance. None of them could piece together what it was in their heads, with Erin the first to speak up about what she'd heard.
"Did you's hear that?" She enquired, nose scrunched up.
"Aye. Must be that dancing gettin' too raucous. Young un's yer age should learn a bit more respect, sure we wouldn't make that much noise when we were that age, would we Gerry?" Mary responded.
"No love. We wouldn't". He replied, equally curious as to the source of the sound. "I'm not sure it was dancin' though…".
"Well it wasn't Orla fallin' down the stairs, was it?"
Mary's hands were on her hips, annoyed at Gerry for defying her opinion yet again that Easter Tuesday. The spirit of the time period must have bitten him, she assumed, his behaviour being far from the usual defensive outlook that saw him agree with her all of the time. It wasn't new to Gerry, but he was only ever used to sheltering the feelings rather than outing them to his wife. He was a man of few words when he wanted to be, but also a savvy conversationalist at other times.
"I wouldn't put it past her actually". Erin added.
"Me neither". Gerry agreed. "She can be a wee bit clumsy".
"Gerry, I know what Orla fallin' down the stairs sounds like and I'm tellin' ye, that's not it!"
She knew the sound a lot more than they realised. It was years ago, on a day where Sarah was not around to look after her daughter, delegating the responsibility to her sister. Erin was outside in the garden when Mary called her sister's daughter down from what was the spare room, before being converted into Anna's room. She'd bounded out of the room at such a pace to answer the call of her Aunt, she tripped over a slight ridge in the carpet of the first stair, launching herself down them.
A second noise, similar to the first yet seemingly closer, made them all frown again. Erin, who would have normally been thinking about going to bed, to the dark place that she would fight against every night, was transfixed by whatever the distant sound was. There was no logical explanation to what the clattering sound was, a sound unlike any other she'd ever heard. It couldn't have been the dancing, as it sounded further away, as if it came from far outside the area around Derry. Whatever it was would have been incredibly loud at the source, deafening those around them… that's when the light flickered on in her mind.
Derry was about to received London's medicine.
"Ye don't think…".
Before the youthful blonde could finish her sentence, a piercing shriek called out across the Derry air. The noise was one they'd heard before at night, but only during practice drills for an event that they thought would not happen, given their distance away and the lack of importance of the city compared to others.
The air raid sirens sounded out on both banks of the Foyle.
"Oh my god…".
Mary knew that it was not a drill, not this time. Derry was really about to be bombed by the Germans, just like London and all of the other cities in Britain still reeling from Luftwaffe night visits were. They'd trained for what to do should they sound, but there was nothing quite like the real thing when it happened. Erin and Gerry were far more focused than she was, the latter transitioning into his natural protective state as a father that needed to protect his family.
"I'll get Anna".
Racing off up the stairs, Gerry left his wife to sort out what would happen downstairs. Erin looked to her for guidance on what to do, watching as her mother suffered a cack attack at the thought that a bomb might land on their home in the minutes that followed. They would need to get themselves out to the Anderson shelter, their main hope should any bombs indeed fall on them. Unless they received a direct hit on the shelter itself, it would keep them safe until the raid was complete. Mary would head there first, turning to Erin to explain to her what she would need to do. Sharing the shelter with the family next door, it would be the tight fit that Joe unwisely suggested it should be.
"Go and open the front door love!" The matriarch ordered. "Make sure they all get in here safely, ye hear me?!"
"Yes Mammy".
Replying slightly half-heartedly, Erin's mind was already going elsewhere. She did have a job to do though and the thoughts that were distracting her would be placed to one side in her mind until the raid was over. She would have time to process them properly afterwards, should they all survive. Briskly striding over to the front door, she yanked it open, already unlocked as Gerry was yet to lock it as he would every single night. Orla was already on her way over with Marie when she looked down the dark path, racing forward to greet her cousin who stood outside, with her hand stretching back inside to hold the door open.
"Those bomber fellas are here Erin!" Orla shouted.
"I know Orla, ye need to hurry up!" She shouted back at her. "Mammy's in the shelter, go out the back to her".
Nodding, she rushed through with Marie and a gas mask in her arms, narrowly avoiding Gerry, who was carrying Anna down the stairs to get them to the safety of the Anderson. Back at the front of the house, Erin could hear Sarah coming next, bringing with her what appeared to be a bag full of makeup, prepared as ever. The war was interrupting her schedule yet again and she was far from pleased about it.
"I'm going to look a right state tomorrow at work Erin, this is not on!"
"Ye won't be at work tomorrow if ye don't shift it Aunt Sarah, now come on!"
Sarah ignored being shouted at her by her niece, hurrying on through to the back of the house in the same way that Orla and Marie had just seconds before her. It left only Joe to arrive, presumably with Napoleon. The latter was certainly going to be in attendance, confirmed moments later by his barks. Clearly disturbed by the distant noise, that was much louder to him than it was to them, the Labrador would not stop barking. Joe was barking back at the dog too, albeit barking in shouts rather than doing an impression of one. On another day him trying it would be humorous, but not when the air raid sirens were blaring.
"Napoleon! Behave!"
Tussling with the Labrador as he almost ran up the path to the house, Joe looked up to find Erin holding the door wide open. With her eyes she urged him on, aware that they were both in need of hurrying along before the bombs found them. Above them, a new sound filled their ears, one which Erin knew well. A sound which reminded her of James, though he would not be the man piloting the aircraft that she could hear that night. The buzzing noise of the engine was still in the distance, but through the breaks in the sirens, it was distinct to her.
Napoleon could hear it too. The usually perfectly behaved Labrador's behaviour was poor all day and it appeared to be coming to a head. Startled by the constant noises, the frightened dog suddenly broke free of Joe's grasp, turning to scarper off towards the street.
"Napoleon!" He roared. "Get back here!"
Joe could not chase after it, unable to afford being caught by any of the bombs that were going to fall. His family needed him a lot more than they needed the dog, that was for sure. What he did not anticipate, nor would anyone of them have, would be the scene he witnessed in the seconds that followed. Without hesitation, without warning… Erin let go of the front door, ducking under her Granda's arm to chase after the dog. Straight out into the danger zone of a city facing the German bombing squadrons at night. The worst decision he'd ever seen made played out in front of him, and he was powerless to stop it, try as he may.
"ERIN! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"
"ERIN!"
She did not flinch at the call of her name or at the prospect of the telling off she would receive later for acting so recklessly. Joe McCool was a fearsome man to disobey, but there was nothing he could do to bring her back in line. Stuck between chasing after her himself or going to the Anderson shelter with the rest of the family, he paused in the doorway for a moment. There had been few times in his life where he was as unsure as he was at the door of the Quinn house that night. Worried for the many and not for just Erin, Joe slammed the door shut behind him, running through the house and giving the back door the exact same treatment.
Mary was at the door of the Anderson shelter, on edge as her nerves reached breaking point. They were actually being bombed by the Germans, the war finally coming to their doorstep after well over a year where it stayed away. She was terrified, a terror that only increased when she saw her father darting across the back garden alone.
"WHERE'S ERIN!?" She yelled.
"She ran off!" Joe shouted back as he approached.
"WHAT! OH MY GOD, GERRY, GERRY, OUR LITTLE GIRL!"
Erin might not have matched Mary's description, but when her creation was facing the gravest of danger, she would revert to it in her mother's mind. Finally making it to the Anderson shelter, Joe stepped into the packed room where the rest of the family made home for what they knew could be hours. Sarah was busy applying some makeup in the corner, having swiped a small mirror on her way out. If the Germans were going to get her, she would want to be at her best when she got to heaven.
"Napoleon's ran off and Erin's gone after him!"
Joe informed them through hard breaths, panting from the burst of acceleration he'd been forced to produce. Naturally, he turned on his son in-law.
"This is yer fault, ye southern shite!" He jabbed at his chest. "Erin shouldn't have been stood at that front door!"
"MY FAULT?!" Gerry screamed back in his face. "WHY DIDN'T YE STOP HER?!"
"YE THINK I DIDN'T TRY?!" Joe bit back.
Distracted by the scenes of the unbelievable commotion between the two, none of the adults in the Anderson shelter remembered that the door was still open behind Joe. They were very lucky to have a bright young girl like Anna as part of the family, the Quinn's youngest sneaking around the side of her Granda to yank the door shut behind him. He was too busy getting in Gerry's face, the two both having blood rushing around them as they squared up. The threat of physical blows being landed rather than verbal ones was always there, but it was never as realistic as right there in the shelter. Mary was too distraught about Erin to try to stop them, leaving it to Anna to yet again fill the void where those who were supposed to, could not.
"DA! GRANDA! STOP ARGUING!"
Her roar, a lion's call in the tin can they found themselves in, silenced the two men before punches could be thrown. Gerry found an anger within himself that he did not know existed when Joe came back without Erin, ready to pummel the old man for his negligence, but playing the role of circuit breaker to his brain perfectly, Anna stopped it from happening. The two of them arguing was doing absolutely nothing to help Erin at all.
"We need to sit down and wait for it to be over so we can find Erin! There's nothin' more we can do!"
The five year old took charge of the scene like a seasoned army commander, none of them attempting to override her orders when they were given. Gerry sat down across from Joe, coming to put an arm around his wife, who was shaking in fear, sobbing that their eldest daughter was out on the streets where she would most likely die. Joe crossed his arms in the corner, flexing a face of thunder to hide the guilt he was carrying from being unable to stop his granddaughter from chasing off after the poorly behaved Labrador.
Squeezed together like sardines in the overcrowded shelter, the family waited for the bombs to fall like all of the other families across the city. Not many were left out on the streets, the Air Raid wardens even retreating inside to find a safe place to hide from the Luftwaffe's explosives.
Napoleon, loyal Labrador of the McCool's, was.
As was Erin Quinn.
Neither were safe from the aircraft that the latter knew was overhead. There was only one German bomber in the air over Derry that night, straying wide of its intended target, which was Belfast. The bigger city endured one of the worst nights of bombing Britain had ever seen, the city burning due to an issue with the firefighting equipment, another present from the Luftwaffe. Deliberately targeting water supplies with their first wave of bombers, the second wave wreaked havoc in the city itself. A firestorm engulfed Belfast, burning alive those unfortunate enough to be caught in it. A corner of Britain largely untouched by the war before that night, was already lying in ruins towards the end of it.
Back in the North West, Erin raced through the streets, trying to catch up to the runaway dog that bolted from out of Joe's hands. Napoleon was almost out of her sight, but she kept running anyway, hoping he hadn't run too far or turned off from the main road into a garden. It seemed like an age for her, the bomber being further away than she first thought. The dog really had bolted, as an out of breath Erin approached the Messines Park area, where all the veterans of the Great war lived. She held great respect for them, her Granda telling her about their bravery many years before. At one time Colm lived there too before he moved to the house he lived in, though his house was not too far away from where she was running anyway.
Legs burning with lactic acid, Erin was running out of energy quickly. She'd ran for minutes through the dark night of Derry, not running into anyone. Apart from any foxes that may have been lurking around during the evening, there was nothing to run into. Coming to a halt by the crossroads next to the area, she looked up, finally spotting Napoleon clearly. He'd stopped a little way into one of the pathways that led to a house in the area. Allowing herself a moment to catch her breath, Erin was ready to shout to him to get his attention, praying that she would be fortunate enough to get the dog home. He would need to be told off sternly like she knew she would be, but they would be alive at least.
Fate again turned on her though, like it had done one night over the skies of Taranto for her beloved.
The aircraft was almost directly overhead. The pilots thought their parachute mines were being dropped into the Foyle, ready for another day to wreak havoc on supply ships that would not expect them there. Instead, Messines Park was mistaken for the river, with fatal consequences for those inside who'd not been able to get out to the shelters or simply did not have one.
They were not the only casualties either.
Hearing the bomb coming at the last second, Erin found herself exposed without any cover whatsoever. She looked into Napoleon's eyes as the Labrador found himself in the path of the parachute mines that were barrelling towards Irish soil. He'd been such a loyal dog to the family for years, comforting them at their darkest moments when a warm body and a friendly tail were sorely needed. The favours he'd done for them, to Erin herself especially, could never be properly repaid. There was no time for him to escape.
Napoleon, blown apart, was gone.
The bomb practically landed on the dog, the explosion tearing its way through Messines Park. A second one followed it shortly after, killing many of the veterans who'd lived through the front lines in the previous war, only to die behind the lines over twenty years later in the next one.
With nothing to protect her, Erin was thrown viciously by the blast, into the outer wall of the house that was behind her. Shrapnel rained into the air, delivering further destruction to all of those around who were unlucky enough to be caught by it. The lone bomber, its payload delivered, turned around to head back to the French coast, toasting in a victory that claimed the lives of innocent Derry men and women, who'd not raised a fist to them. Death was in the air as the sounds of ambulances filled the street. The danger was gone, Derry escaping lightly compared to Belfast, but still handed its share of hurt. Those first on scene headed straight for the burning buildings, some already reduced to rubble, ignoring the blonde crumpled up against the wall behind them.
The blonde who'd only seen darkness and was yet to move…
The second that they could risk it, the whole family, except for Orla and Marie, were out on the streets looking for Erin. Joe could feel the back of his throat burning, anticipating that their worst fears would come true, unable to forgive himself for not stopping her. He should have done more, chased after her, but then he too would have placed himself in danger when he was needed by the family. Erin was too stubborn like her mother, and the stubbornness that defined the females of their family was coming back to haunt them on the dark streets of their city that night. People in Belfast were completing the same walks down the streets, despairing as they came across more destruction. The German bombers had done a real number on the cities of Northern Ireland on the night of Easter Tuesday.
Following the smoke, they went straight to the Messines Park area, praying that Erin would be around somewhere, watching on unscathed. As they approached, the men fighting the fires told them all to step away from the scene so that they could control. Unlike in Belfast, their water supplies were unharmed, which made fighting the fires manageable rather than waiting for them to burn out. From a distance, they could see the bodies being carried out of the houses. Sheets covered the mangled corpses, some of whom were totally unrecognisable having been blown to smithereens by the parachute mines that landed on their heads. Lives were destroyed in front of their very eyes, when before they'd only seen the aftermath of a bombing raid in the newspaper.
"Gerry…". Mary cried. "What if… what if…".
"We don't know that, love". He spoke softly, stroking her arm. "She'll be alright, I know she will".
Lying horrendously, Gerry was scared stiff that his eldest had gotten herself killed by the bombs that fell on Messines Park. The war had already taken so much from them as a family, but if it were to take her as well, the usually strong man questioned whether he could cope. He could not bear to think that he'd lose his daughter in such fashion. Sarah was just as upset as her sister, though she felt anger more than any other feeling. The Germans had no right to kill the poor veterans who only wished to see out their later years in peace. It was disgusting, she thought to herself as tears began to trickle from the corners of her eyes, that they would dare to act so callously.
Once again, it was left to Anna to hold the family's spirits up. She was worried sick for Erin but did not show it like the rest of them. Her eyes were constantly focused on the gaggle of people around the edge of the perimeter that the fire services made, huddles blocking her view of who they might be treating up against the walls to the side. Through the mist of the smoke that was covering the thick night air, she spotted locks of blonde hair through lamp light. Whoever the blonde she saw was, the figure was helped to their feet by two men, who turned her slowly to face the perimeter. As soon as the lamp light held for a second, Anna's face lit up.
Erin was alive.
"MAMMY, LOOK!"
Glancing up from where she'd buried her head into Gerry's shoulder, Mary's heart fell back into place. The two firemen helped Erin on the trip towards her family, who were barely able to be held back by those holding the perimeter. She was limping as well as sobbing, pain travelling around her body at an immense speed. She'd thought the day when Big Mandy gave her a kicking was the most painful day of her life, believing them to be the worst injuries she would ever receive. The impact of the blast was far worse though. Knocked completely unconscious, it took minutes before one of the nurses was able to wake her. Incredibly lucky, Erin escaped any severe lasting damage, but the immediate pain after waking was immense. Her head ached badly, the effects of the concussion leaving her fairly dazed for a couple of minutes before she'd properly come around. Her knees were badly bruised, having turned slightly in mid-air so that her kneecaps bore the brunt of the wall along with her head. An angel must have been on her side that night too, as all around her lay shrapnel when the nurses found her, but not a single piece struck her at all.
"ERIN!"
Mary cried out to her, though the sound only made Erin's head ache more. On seeing that her family were there for her, the firemen released her from their hold, but she was still unsteady on her feet. Gerry was there to catch her though, scooping his eldest into his arms like she was a wain again. His back ached under the sudden strain, unused to carrying her as a full adult who no longer weighed absolutely nothing. Joe breathed the greatest sigh of relief behind him, wiping away the tears from his own eyes before any of them could comment on how upset he was. Sarah and Anna were overjoyed, the older of the two left wondering where the dog was after a second of thought for Erin.
"Oh daddy, Napoleon… he… he got hit by the bomb!" Erin wailed into the same shoulder of her father's that Mary occupied before her. "He… he's gone!"
"There, there, Erin, love…". He breathed out, stroking the ends of her hair. "… we'll miss him, we will. But yer safe, so ye are… ye had us worried sick".
They all spared a thought for poor Napoleon, Erin confirming what most of them suspected when she did not return with him. The Labrador was an ever present in their lives, dependable and loyal without ever causing too much trouble. He could be boisterous at times, but always in a loving way rather than doing it aggressively. To be ripped apart by a bomb, his guts thrown out all over the roads of the city, was not the way a good dog should have gone. Once they all had a moment for him, Mary and Gerry indicated that they wanted to have a moment with their daughter alone. Sarah and Anna were both a little confused, leaving it to Joe to move them away, understanding perfectly what his daughter wanted.
"Why did ye do it love?" Mary pleaded for the truth. "We all loved Napoleon, but ye didn't need to chase him through the streets. Ye could have get yourself killed!".
"Ye've scared yer Granda to death". Gerry added, Mary nodding. "He would have never forgiven himself, Erin. Why? Why did ye do this?"
Her head might have been hurting her in the aftermath, yet Erin could still remember the reasons for her hunt for Napoleon vividly. The decision was in an instant at the front door, a justification she thought about in her own mind many times before that night. Joe was in the wrong place at the wrong time as the pieces came together, the dog charging off down the street acting as the perfect opportunity for her. It was not an easy truth to tell, but she could not hide it from them either.
"I… I… I just…".
Sighing, her head and heart tried to stop her lungs from giving her the air to vocalise herself. It would have to be a battle lost for them though; her Mammy and Daddy needed to know why she'd acted so suicidally when she did not need to.
"I… I thought I-If a b-b… bomb hit me then… then I could be with James again… in heaven…".
Choking up as she finished, her sobs became shrieks into Gerry's shoulder. Their hearts sank for her, as once again it was her grief for her English beloved that dictated the course of her life. He'd been dead for months, yet no matter how hard their eldest daughter tried to move on from him, she could not. There were glimpses of hope, even sustained periods such as during her work hours, where she would be able to put the memory of him to one side to be able to do her duty for the kingdom. Those flashes papered over the cracks though, hiding a heart that was broken in half for what she believed would be forever.
All she wanted was James, but he was serving God where he must have been needed more.
Her death would have been for nothing if it had come, the family left to wonder why she'd ran after the dog for the rest of their lives.
She did not know that James was still alive in Italy, surviving the impossible.
His heart was still beating.
Beating for her.
But she remained unaware, her own heart no longer beating properly at all without his love.
The war had truly ruined their life together.