Hey, y'all! Just a quick note to begin!
I'm gonna be putting this fic on my Tumblr soon, so I'll be editing a lot of this story - the earlier chapters especially. I just wanna polish it all up a bit before posting it on Tumblr.
I want all versions of the story to be consistent, so I'll be posting the edited chapters here too - replacing the older versions. I'm not gonna be changing anything huge, just a lil bit of polish and general improvement. So um, if u wanna read those polished chapters, you can! They'll be released on Tumblr periodically, but all the chapters will be released at once on writing sites.
So no changes to this story really, aside from the edits. This shouldn't cause many delays either. (Hopefully)
Trigger warnings for this chapter are: ed references, sh references,self-deprecation, and cannibalism (it's a tg fic lmao!)
Anyway. Hope y'all enjoy!!!
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Bunny's silence is deafening.
They sit on their bed, staring at the doorway with wide eyes. They shudder, teeth chattering as they quiver.
Lyra stares at them, balling her fists and chewing the skin from her lips.
Bunny doesn't acknowledge Lyra now that Tsukiyama has gone, which irritates something within her. She finds herself approaching Bunny, who still does not move.
She imagines what she'll say to them ; something to irritate them, to upset them, maybe something about Kazuo, perhaps.
She pictures it, Bunny sobbing, snapping at her, staring at Lyra with large, sad eyes. She feels herself fill with a satisfactory rage as she imagines the scenario - hurting Bunny would feel so good.
Lyra suppresses a smile, the words are coiled in her throat like a viper - fangs dripping with venom. She opens her mouth to speak, edging closer to Bunny ; a snake rearing up, preparing to spit.
But she doesn't say anything.
She stops, staring only at Bunny, and silently taking a seat next to them.
Sitting next to Bunny in silence, Lyra soon finds herself fixating on something; Bunny's breathing. The shaky shudders of their breath, the way their teeth chatter, like a rattling cage. Lyra's own breath appears to have subsided, as if she's being fed by Bunny's breath.
She edges even closer to Bunny, inhaling their sweet scent. They smell of tropical rum and sweet raspberries, hints of treacle, with twists of haemoglobin and petroleum.
Lyra finds herself staring at Bunny's exposed skin. She wonders what Bunny's skin would taste like. Would it taste the same as they smell?
She imagines herself licking the sweetness off of Bunny's skin. She imagines Bunny's skin is cold. Smooth. Perfectly untainted, waiting to be tarnished.
She imagines biting into Bunny's skin. She can practically feel it - her teeth piercing their cold flesh, sinking into the perfectly warmed meat within.
Lyra's heart is racing. She licks her bloodied lips - her blood is so metallic, so boring. Is Bunny's blood that boring? No, that would be impossible. Bunny's blood will be warm. It will taste like deep wine or sweet fruit punch.
Lyra stares at Bunny's collarbones. She imagines licking them, before sinking her teeth into Bunny's trapezoid. She will tear a chunk of flesh away. It would feel soft, but chewy. Like some kind of chewy flesh fruit.
What would Bunny's flesh taste like? Lyra can't quite imagine it.
Would it taste sweet, tangy, with a slight fruitiness? Maybe it would be slightly salty - like a salted cucumber?
Perhaps it would be deep and rich, like a dark chocolate cake? Would Bunny taste like ostrich steak or rabbit pie? Is Bunny a slice of cheddar with strawberry or a piece of honeycomb - crunchy and sweet, teaming with wriggling bees that vibrate and tingle in your mouth?
Oh!
Just what would Bunny Deverill taste like? We simply must know! Come on, Bunny, let us taste you!
Bunny gulps, shuffling slightly as they continue to rattle. They tremble even more, side eying Lyra and the rest of us.
Lyra blushes, looking away. Her heart still pounds. She looks at her hands.
What? What am I thinking? What the fuck! That's foul, Lyra! You're like one of those things! Stop it, you foul thing, stop thinking things like that!
Lyra shudders, gripping her forearms. She digs her nails into her flesh, feeling a small release as the pain registers in her brain.
How foul. How foul! I'm foul! A monster! An evil beast!
I need to get out of this place. I want to get away from them. I want to get away from me. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. If the world exploded right now I wouldn't care. I'm foul. I'm disgusting. I need to get away from myself. I need to go home. I must be removed from this world.
"Lyra?"
Lyra jumps, broken from her spiralling thoughts.
It's Pasha, stood by the door, looking at her with an undeserved warmth, "I'm back. Thank you for looking after Bunny," He says, smiling softly, "Are you ok?"
Lyra nods, smiling nervously.
"That's good. Bunny? Bunny?"
Bunny doesn't respond, still rattling away, now chewing a lock of hair. Lyra resists thinking about eating Bunny's hair herself - she gets the feeling it was taste like avocado and watermelon.
Pasha kneels in front of Bunny, blissfully unaware of Lyra's thoughts, "Bunny, sweetheart, we're going to bed now. Ok? We're going to bed.
Bunny seems to look through him, still chewing their hair.
Pasha inches closer to them, trying to touch them. When his fingers brush their skin, they let out a shriek and move away.
"Ok, ok," Pasha says, "I won't touch you. Can you get yourself into bed then?"
"I can do it," Tsukiyama is back, and in an instant, has thrown himself between Bunny and Pasha. Bunny is taken aback by his sudden approach, letting out another shriek.
"Don't be so sudden!" Pasha says, "You'll scare them."
"You're scaring them."
"Tsukiyama!" Imakita snaps, now also stood in the doorway, "For goodness' sake, you're worse than a baby! I told you to go and get ready for bed!"
"That's what I'm doing."
"No, you're in Bunny's room."
"Yes."
"You're not sleeping in here—
"Bunny needs me."
"Bunny has Pasha. You're sleeping in the spare room with Lyra."
"What?" Tsukiyama gasps, "I will be doing no such thing—"
"Would you prefer to sleep on the sofa?"
"No. I'm going to sleep with Bunny."
"You're most certainly not."
"Imakita, it's not that big of a deal, he can—" Pasha starts.
"Don't encourage him, Pavel. Tsukiyama, you'll sleep in the same room as Lyra or you'll sleep on the floor. Or outside, if you want to push it that far."
"How dare you—"
"Um, I want to go home, actually," Lyra says.
"Yeah," Pasha nods, "Lyra said she wanted to—"
"Everyone's staying here tonight, Lyra," Imakita says, "It's safer."
"But Lyra only lives next door."
"If Lyra wants to go, we should let her," Tsukiyama says, "It's not like she's been very useful tonight anyway."
"You be quiet. It's late, Lyra, and it's barely one night, you'll be fine."
"But I want to go home."
"You can," Pasha says, "I don't see why—"
"No. I want her to stay here. It's safer," Imakita persists, "I swear, you'll be the death of me, all of you."
"I just want to go home," Lyra mumbles.
"You can go home tomorrow. Now, both of you, go get ready for bed. I'll find clothes for you both."
"I don't want to—"
"Tsukiyama, I'm very close to putting you outside."
"Why me? Why can't Lyra just go—"
"Guys, come on, please," Pasha says, "We're all tired, we've all had enough, can't you all just go to bed? I don't even understand how you all have to energy to fight!"
"I'm trying, Pavel," Imakita says, "Believe me, all I want to do is sleep. Unfortunately, some people insist on giving me a headache."
"That's so selfish and insensitive, Imakita. Look at Bunny's head."
"Tsukiyama, I swear to God—"
"Bunny has a huge head injury, but no, Imakita, we'll bow down to your stupid little headache."
"Oh, you nasty little shit—"
"Stop it!" Pasha says, "If you insist on fighting, do it somewhere else. Bunny needs to sleep."
"This isn't my fault—"
"I don't care. Just take it outside."
Imakita sighs, "Fine. You heard him, both of you."
Lyra scuttles to the door, eager to leave Bunny's room. She takes a final look at Bunny, embarrassed by the amount her mouth waters at the sight of their fave.
Her view of Bunny is soon blocked by Tsukiyama ; who makes a massive fuss of saying goodnight to them, using all manner of gestures and French nothings.
When all three of them are outside of the room, Imakita simply sighs and says, "Just go to bed. Please."
"Can't you sleep in the spare room with Lyra?" Tsukiyama asks, "I can sleep with Doryo—"
"Doryo's been through enough tonight, and if you don't get ready for bed this instant, I swear to God, I'll lock you outside."
"I'm fairly certain that's illegal."
"Oh, because we're having a terribly legal night."
"Then there's no need to make it worse—"
"It'll be ten times worse if you don't shut the fuck up and get to bed."
Lyra stands in awkward silence as Imakita and Tsukiyama bicker. It ends when Imakita has had enough and shuts the bedroom door in Tsukiyama's face, abruptly ending the argument.
Tsukiyama huffs, "I can't believe this. I have to sleep in the guest bedroom, not even the master bedroom. And with Lyra of all people…"
"…I wanted to go home."
"I'm not deaf, you don't have to keep saying it," He shakes his head, "Whatever. Where's the spare bedroom?"
"Um. I don't—"
"I wasn't asking you."
"Then who were you—"
"Here it is! Oh, For goodness' sake!"
"What?"
"It's so small! There's not even a bed! It's a futon! A futon!"
Lyra glances in the room. It seems to be the most traditional bedroom in the house - Bunny's bedroom is terribly western, and Lyra assumes Pasha's is too.
The room itself is only slightly smaller than her flat, and much tidier. It's obviously a spare bedroom, seemingly used for meditation and yoga. Lyra's sure Bunny or Pasha had mentioned converting it into a wellness room once, whatever that meant.
"At least it's traditional," Tsukiyama sighs, sitting on the futon, "And at least somewhat comfortable."
Lyra looks to the futon. It's big enough for both of them, but sharing a bed with Tsukiyama sounds like it would be terribly painful.
"Oh," Tsukiyama says, appearing to have had the same thought, "I move around a lot in my sleep, so it's probably better if I sleep here. Also, you're like, a skeleton, so I could probably cut myself if I slept next to you, so it's not really safe for me to sleep next to you."
That's the nicest thing he's ever said to me, Lyra thinks, suppressing a smile, So skinny I could cut someone. Mm. Mhm.
"Okay. Then where do I—"
"You can sleep on some of those yoga mats or something."
"Um, well, can't you sleep—"
"No. I could hit my head."
"…So could I."
"Yeah, but it's not really that important if you hit your head."
"I—" Lyra trails off - he's probably right. She sighs and says, "Whatever," Before going to prepare her bed, all whilst Tsukiyama glares at her, telling her to hurry up, because he's very tired.
When she sits down on her bed, he asks her, "Do you snore? I bet you snore."
"Um, I don't think I—"
"You look like a snorer."
"Huh?"
"OhmyGod—Whatever. I'm tired. Just keep it down. And stop breathing so loudly."
"I'm…I don't breathe—"
"Shut up!"
Lyra chews her lip, slowly lying down in her bed. She knows she won't sleep. The usual insomnia paired with the events of the night has guaranteed a sleepless night. She waits a little, until she's sure Tsukiyama is asleep, beginning to sob.
She does her best to keep it down, but it soon gets louder, and she begins crying out - her cries easily escaping her lips despite desperate attempts to stifle them.
"Why are you crying?" Tsukiyama asks. Lyra doesn't know if she woke him or if he was still awake. Either way, she can feel him glaring at her in the darkness.
"You shouldn't cry. It's really annoying," He continues, cracks of sleepiness slipping into his usually smooth voice.
Lyra curls up into a tight ball, sobbing harder.
"Stop it! I'm trying to sleep!"
Lyra continues to cry, ignoring Tsukiyama. She hears him get up from his bed, before standing over her.
"Why are you crying?" He demands, "Don't tell me it's about that pet-food downstairs."
Lyra whimpers, sobbing harder.
"Oh, it is, isn't it? That's awful, Lyra, really. He wasn't anything other than a filthy old pervert. His death is practically a blessing."
Lyra can practically hear Tsukiyama shaking his head, before going to the other side of the room, then returning to sit at her bedside.
"Here," He says, pushing something against her head, "Cry into that. It's very rude to get bodily fluids on someone else's bedsheets, unless you're having intercourse, I suppose."
He's smiling. Lyra knows he's smiling. She isn't smiling.
He sighs, "If you must insist on being upset about that wretched man, then think about what he did to Bunny, and goodness knows how many others. It's foul. You shouldn't cry over someone like that, Lyra."
Lyra curls up tighter, whimpering.
"Please use that handkerchief, it really is quite rude," He continues, nudging her, "And sit up! I can't understand all your whimpering when you're sat like that."
He pulls the blanket away from her. She curls up tighter.
Tsukiyama pauses, watching her. She feels him lean closer to her, nudging her, "Mon Dieu, why are you crying so much? How can you be upset about the pet-food pervert? Oh, that's a good name! It sounds like some kind of…Some kind of obscure American serial killer or something. Yes! That's it! Oh, I am good, I am so good."
Lyra's crying has slowed slightly. It's quieter now.
"…What exactly are you so upset about?" He continues asking, "Was it seeing the Pet-food pervert getting eaten? It wasn't that bad, you know. Haven't you ever seen animals eating things before? Are you that weak-stomached? You shouldn't cry about it, Lyra. It's just nature," He says, "Now, you really should sit up and wipe your face. You'll get a headache if you keep crying."
Lyra sniffles, shivering.
"It's only blood and flesh, Lyra. Nature. If it upsets you that much - well, maybe you're not—"
Tsukiyama is cut off by a sudden noise from upstairs.
It's a most awful noise Lyra has heard. She looks up, frozen in fear.
It's the most awful noise ; a great howl of pain, like a rabbit caught in a snare, a fox after getting shot.
The noise is coming from upstairs, and it's clear who - or what - is making it.
--
Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I had loads of mental breakdowns, I ran away from home again lol - just so much stress. But hopefully I'm going to hospital soon, and I recently got a great new therapist, and I'm already making great progress!
Anyway. I hope y'all enjoyed this one! Remember to leave kudos / like (whatever platform we're on), comment ; all that jazz!
Follow my socials! @ghostalope on Tumblr & Instagram, or dm me/comment for an invite to my Discord server! It's very chill and definitely not a cult!
(Also! I have a very chaotic oneshot coming soon so um….Watch this space!)
Stay safe y'all! Stan Nyarlathotep!!!!!!!!! And Dolly Parton!!!!
Bye!!!