SUMMARY: Anko, Ra and Gaara struggle. Gai is observant.
Is this it?
Is this how she is going to die?
Not even in a epic battle?
She is completely at Orochimaru's mercy, once again.
She can't say she's missed it.
Her Sen- former Sensei bends down.
She manages to suppress her shudder.
She is Anko Mitarashi.
She is not going to die like this.
Like some meek lamb.
She staggers to her feet.
If she is going to go down, he is going to come with her.
Before she can do anything, the man approaches her once more.
Anko cannot move away this time.
"If I were you, I wouldn't cancel the Chunin Exams." he says.
Anko wants to hit him.
Wants to thrash him.
But she can't.
How dare he say it like that?
Like they are friends?
Like he is giving her a piece of advice rather than a threat?
As if he is helping her?
She doesn't have an answer for any of those questions.
She doesn't try to hold back her anger when the man dissipates.
Clone.
She screeches.
Perhaps it is meant to be below her.
Anko does not care.
It is utterly liberating.
She is grieving.
She deserves it.
Maybe they will whisper about her.
Something about her sanity.
Hypocrites, the lot of them.
Besides, it's not like it's anything she hasn't heard before.
They have been talking about her for what seems like forever.
People talk.
It is a fact.
She is used to it.
It shouldn't hurt.
But it does.
She grieves for the girl she was, could have been.
She grieves for her Sensei.
But she doesn't have the time to grieve.
She has to think.
She is good at thinking.
She doesn't do the whole emotions thing.
Her brats have been rubbing off her a lot more than she thought.
Her brats are here.
In the same place as... Orochimaru.
He is Orochimaru to her.
Anko pulls herself together.
She has things to do.
All because he decided to turn up and grace them all with his presence.
Anko gets up.
She has to.
It takes some time for Gaara to calm down.
He cannot concentrate on anything but the deep, deep pain.
He wishes he'd never know about it.
Gaara's not terrible at thinking.
But thinking doesn't stop the pain.
So he lets himself be vulnerable, lets himself feel.
He feels too much anyway.
He knows how to feel.
But as the sobs continue and there is no hint that they will stop, he wishes he were a better thinker.
Maybe then he could think the pain away.
But he isn't.
So he can't.
He wishes he could but it hurts.
He thought he was doing better.
Thought he would be strong enough.
He was a fool.
A naive fool.
No one can change that truth.
Why does he keep trying?
For friends that will leave him once they know about Suna's attack?
For siblings who will see the truth one day?
That beneath the monster sealed in him, he is a monster too?
He doesn't know.
They make it to the Tower.
Together, they open all four scrolls.
Iruka - the only teacher in the academy who was decent to Naruto - appears.
It is a little awkward because he seems stuck between the two scrolls - sort of hovering.
Perhaps they shouldn't have opened all of them at the same time.
Ra gathers them together.
Iruka smiles sheepishly at them - like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't.
It is an odd look to see on their former Sensei.
He doesn't stay long.
He glances at them once.
They are nearly pristine.
Gaara has composed himself for the time being.
They have passed the second stage.
He congratulates them.
As they look at each other, the air feels heavy.
It is wrong.
They should be light.
Joyful, even.
It doesn't feel like a cause for celebration.
The target on their backs is clearer.
The gravity makes them struggle to breathe.
Something is going on.
And they are not the players of the game.
It is a dangerous position to be caught in.
They are to be caught in the collateral damage.
They refuse.
Kurenai smiles in relief.
She smiles in victory.
No one is to know about the second reason.
Happily, she collects her winnings.
They are part of the reason she is smiling in victory.
Accommodation and even food sometimes are covered but Shinobi life is expensive.
If you don't have the best materials, you die.
It doesn't matter how talented you are.
Kurenai knows that all too well.
Even in Genjutsu, her skill is doubted.
Because her body is wrong.
He, her teammate, is dead because he didn't know anything about herbs.
Apparently, he didn't need to know.
Knowledge is a weapon too.
And Kurenai will defeat one of the Sannin before she lets her Genin go without.
She pockets the winnings.
The other Senseis thought she was simply sticking up for her Genin.
They thought she was overly sentimental.
They were right.
Sort of.
Kurenai trusts her Genin.
She doesn't care what the other Senseis think.
Except for Gai.
Gai who can see more than the rest of the room combined.
Gai who tells her they need to talk.
Gai who she thinks she might actually care for.
Gai who could be a real friend.
Gai who is truly a kind soul.
Maybe he can see her, but she can see him too.
He'd better hope he is the best thing for her Genin.
Maybe then, they can consider being partners.
Otherwise, she'll be more than happy to show him what this 'overly-sentimental' Jounin can do.
It is not an easy thing to do.
For that they respect the Sand siblings even more.
It must have been such a difficult decision.
They cannot deny that they are pleased.
Clearly they mean something to them.
It is only appropriate that they show them it is reciprocated.
And they are appropriate.
Really?
Perhaps not.
They do not think most of what they have done falls into appropriate.
Perhaps kind is a better word.
Re and Ru have always been kind.
Ra is working on it.
This seems like a good place to start.
Normally, she would go straight to the plan but with Re and Ru's support and assurances that they will help, she tries to consider the situation first.
If the other two have taught her anything, it is that emotion is a much greater factor than it is given credit for.
Come to think of it, Re used emotion to present that information to her in a way that she wouldn't immediately reject it.
Ra takes a breath.
She can do this.
It can't be that hard, can it?
She takes it back.
She has gained a newfound appreciation for Ru's limited success with planning and Re's patience.
It is no wonder the girl has a short temper.
And, at least, Ru manages success.
This is not going to be as easy as she thought.
Why did she agree to do this again?