A/N: Chuck and Sarah are now sharing an apartment. What next?
Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter. Great to see people enjoy this. I know the title is becoming less relevant as Sarah is getting less and less angry; someone must be good for her, huh?
Thanks also to MarkeyDaSad for the beta work, both spotting where it needed Americanizing and where it just didn't read well. He also highlighted the lyrics here, ones that really capture how Sarah Walker is feeling in this chapter, maybe generally up to this point.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.
Anger Management
Chapter 6: Changes
When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong.
"The Rose"
Bette Midler
Sarah and Chuck have been sharing the apartment for three weeks now and have settled into a routine. Two routines, actually.
For the first week, Chuck had been working the day shift, so he rose first and made coffee for them both. Sarah would hear his alarm through the wall between their bedrooms and groaned. Yes, that was part of her routine. It told her that she needed to get up as well. It was usually around five minutes later that she forced herself out of bed and headed into the bathroom for a shower.
The first morning, she hadn't thought about getting dressed and had wandered straight from the bathroom to the kitchen, with just a large towel around her body and a smaller one around her head. Chuck had frozen seeing her like that and she'd hastily headed back to her bedroom to change.
After that, she'd always arrived in the kitchen dressed for work in that awful uniform, although Chuck trying to be a gentleman and making himself avert his eyes from her legs was something that she was starting to like. Maybe the uniform wasn't so bad.
She was starting to like her roommate more and more. She had, of course, liked him from the first time she met him, but now it was becoming more than like.
She had never intended to get into another relationship after the last two were such disasters. She knows Chuck well enough now to know he wouldn't treat her like either of them had and certainly wouldn't cheat on her, but it still felt too soon after Ryan. Wasn't it?
She managed to mask these feelings when she was with Chuck, thankfully. She didn't want to lead him on and really didn't want to hurt this wonderful man.
The first week's routine continued with him having his shower, dressing and then she'd drive them to work.
They would meet for a later lunch together and, at the end of her working day, she'd eventually wander into the Buy More to wait for him. Sometimes, she'd go and buy groceries first.
When they left, they'd head home and, after changing, one of them would cook a meal which they'd share, chatting. Sarah had never talked so much in her life!
They'd watch one of his many DVDs before retiring to their separate bedrooms.
The second week, he'd been on late shift, and they hadn't seen each other until he arrived back at the apartment and then only for a short time before she needed to get some sleep. That week had felt more like when she had lived on her own. Miserable apart from the small amount of time with Chuck.
The third week he was back to the day shift, so had been much better. Having said that, she still went to bed thinking about Chuck.
Being honest with herself, she knew he was too good for her. She was a broken, angry woman not a kind likeable person like he was. If she was stronger and more in control of her temper, she might have a chance of being a good girlfriend for him, but she knew she was weak and would somehow spoil it and then they'd both lose everything.
So, she'd lie in bed, wishing she was different and good enough for him, even on the days he was in the next room snoring so quietly that she could hardly hear him. She knew that if they shared a bed, that snoring wouldn't be enough to keep her awake.
Sarah had been surprised at how domesticated Chuck was. Both her boyfriends had been smart individuals, but in their own apartments less so. She had been very shocked when she first encountered the common problem with Bryce, finding the toilet seat left up, but he refused to change, so it had been a constant thorn in her side. Ryan had changed after a lot of nagging. With Chuck, that was never a problem. In fact, he was the hygiene/ cleanliness freak, pointing out things she "could do differently." That phrase had irritated her initially, but she appreciated him not saying it in a harsher way. She knew that was because he didn't want to trigger an angry reaction, so found she wanted to change to meet his expectations.
As it was, it was their jobs that made her angry. Hers in the way it always did, but his because she felt his kindness and willingness to help was abused. When Sarah had chatted to his sister about it, Ellie groaned saying she had been telling him that for years.
Apart from their jobs, life in domesticated happiness with her best friend was better than she'd ever had.
She knew she was lucky to have met him and his sister and they had made her life so much better than it had been. She also knew that Chuck had strong feelings for her, which only made him walking on eggshells more embarrassing, but also increased her feelings for him.
The last three week had been both great and awful. Great when he was with Sarah but separating had been so much harder. His late shift week had been really bad. Her scent was in the apartment when he was there, but she wasn't. Those evenings together were too short, far too short.
Next week he'd not only be on the late shift, but he also needed to provide the overnight cover. He'd warned Sarah about that, but he didn't think she realized how disruptive it could be. He was dreading it.
On top of all that, he knew he was falling for her more and more. He could even be in love with her. Damn it!
Every second he was with her, he just took in her beauty. She had those amazing eyes, but the rest of her face was equally beautiful. Her body was too, which he appreciated when he knew she couldn't see him admiring her form.
The first day they had shared the apartment, she'd come out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. God, it was like he'd seen an angel floating towards him. Unfortunately, she had realized what his expression meant, the expression he never meant to show. She'd run back into her room, but when she emerged in her work uniform and he saw her amazing legs again, which still thrilled him.
Since then, he had managed to keep his eyes up whenever she wore that. He never wanted her to think of him as being like her 'customers' that she had to suffer.
Their evenings, when he was on day shift, had been wonderful. Working together on the meals were the best and watching movies with her, even though he'd seen them before, made him enjoy them so much more. She unconsciously leaned against him when they sat together watching them. The closeness made him want to wrap his arm around her, but he resisted, not wanting to ruin anything.
So, here he was, sharing an apartment with his dream girl, but not in a relationship with her.
He obviously knew he wasn't good enough for her. Their earnings weren't that different but look at her. She could win any man she wanted. She had been with far wealthier men than him and could easily do the same again. Why would she go for a loser like him?
That didn't mean he wouldn't try again. If she'd have him, he wouldn't question it.
He also wanted to help her get a better job. Tonight, he was going to talk to her about that. He had no idea why the solution hadn't occurred to him after her telling him about Ryan. Well, maybe he did. Brycegate had happened, taking all his thoughts into a spiral. Then Ellie had come up with the brilliant idea of them moving in together which totally consumed his thoughts.
He just hoped she reacted well to his suggestion.
Chuck was looking nervous. He had been all through the food preparation and the meal. She was now getting nervous too. What was it that he wasn't sharing?
When she asked him if he was alright, he'd just said he was fine. She wasn't stupid. Fine meant "No I'm not okay," but she hadn't pushed him. That alone was a change for her. She always used to be pushy. He was definitely affecting her.
They had just finished cleaning up after dinner and would now normally go and select a movie.
"Can we talk before we watch anything, Sarah?"
She knew he was finally going to share his thoughts. She hoped it wasn't anything bad. "Sure," she replied.
They sat on the couch facing each other.
"I- I have a suggestion for you, Sarah," he started.
She tensed, but then thought this couldn't be bad; this was Chuck, after all. She relaxed, waiting to hear his thoughts.
He looked slightly more confident. "You told me that Ryan's mom liked you."
She had told him that. She frowned. "Why are you mentioning that?" she asked.
He rushed out his reason. "I think you should contact her and see if she could help you find a better job over here. She might have contacts."
Sarah was stunned. "Wow! That's quite a suggestion, Chuck!"
As she thought about it, though, it did seem like a good one. Maybe Megan Johnson could help. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea.
Chuck was looking at her with his nervousness back in full. He was starting to sweat. Does he think I am going to be annoyed? Shout at him?
She didn't do either of those things. She flung her arms around him and kissed his cheek.
When she pulled back, noticing his stunned look, she told him, "You wonderful, wonderful man. That is a fantastic idea."
He beamed at her and her returning grin was just as large.
"I'm no good with writing emails, Chuck. Can you help me compose one to her?"
"Absolutely," he replied.
They spent the next hour composing that email. The essence was easy but asking it in a way her Personal Assistant would let through to her was harder. Eventually, Sarah felt the email was perfect and she sent it.
Once it had been sent, she hugged him again. "Thank you, thank you, Chuck."
He squeezed her just as much as she did him. "You are welcome, Sarah."
The next day, he was back on late shift, so after she said she needed to get some sleep, she left him to watch whatever he wanted and started to prepare for bed.
This wonderful man might, just might, have helped her escape the Wienerlicious.
Sarah got home from her daily Wienerlicious shift and immediately opened her email app. She was eager to see if she had had a reply.
Nothing.
Her shoulders slumped and she was totally dejected. It had seemed such a good idea and she had gotten no reply.
She couldn't face cooking anything, so she just heated a soup in the microwave and slumped down on the couch to drink it.
She was still sitting there, in a mood, when Chuck arrived home.
He could obviously tell from her lack of greeting that she wasn't happy. "Hey, what's up?" He sat beside her.
"No reply, Chuck. Nothing," she whined. Yes, she whined!
"She probably hasn't seen your email yet," he calmly replied. "She may not even be at work."
Sarah hadn't thought that. Her mood changed once again. She leaned into him as her tears started to flow. He was right, but she was so uptight she couldn't hold it in.
Chuck just held her as she sobbed into his chest.
After a couple of minutes, she pulled away. "Sorry about your shirt, Chuck. It's soaked."
He just smiled at her, which made her feel worse.
"Come on, you," he said as he stood. He reached down and took hold of her hand and pulled her up. Then he led her to her bedroom.
He looked at her sympathetically. "You get some sleep, Sarah. This will take some time, but I am sure she will help you."
She just nodded.
He started to leave her, but then turned back. "Oh, and don't forget I'm on-call this week, so if you hear my phone, me talking or me going out, it's all okay."
He had told her about that last night, but in all the excitement of the email writing, and today the disappointment, she'd forgotten.
She nodded again as he walked out of her room. She didn't feel like sleep, but knew she needed it.
Quickly changing for bed, she headed over to the bathroom.
She did hear his calls, or at least his phone ringing. Chuck himself was very quiet. He must've moved to the other side of his room or even into the living room before he spoke. She quickly went back to sleep each time.
The one time he had to go out, the sound of the front door never interrupted her sleep. Chuck must have crept around so quietly.
So, she was surprised when she padded into the kitchen and found him there when she got up the next morning.
"Morning, Sarah," he greeted her.
"Morning, Chuck. Why are you up?".
"Only just back from a support call," he replied.
"Oh," was her eloquent response.
"Good news is that I can spend time with you."
That made her pulse race at bit. He wants to be with me more than get his much-needed sleep!
"Keep checking your email. You never know when she might reply," he advised.
She checked. Still nothing.
Her mood darkened again. She didn't have to say anything, Chuck could read her expression.
"As I said, it might take some time." His cheerful manner bothered her, but she just nodded.
The next two days followed the same pattern, apart from Chuck's overnight calls. He didn't have to go out, but instead, both mornings got calls around 7am, so he still was with her for a coffee.
For Sarah this was wonderful, but she could see the bags under his eyes and felt sorry for him. It was just a reminder that she wasn't the only one that needed a new job. After she has one, she will work with him, work on him, to get him to make a move too.
On the fourth day since sending the email, she still hadn't heard a peep. Being on her own in the evenings had been dragging, but this evening she was spending it with his sister, Ellie. Both women on their own, it was perfect.
They spent some time talking about her anger management. This wasn't the first time, but things felt different to Ellie, who asked, "So, anger issues?"
Sarah hadn't really had much recently. "They aren't so strong right now. "
Ellie raised an eyebrow.
Sarah had no issue with telling her. "It's your brother. I feel calmer around him and when I feel angry at work, I ask myself, 'How would Chuck handle this?' It helps, y'know."
Ellie grinned. "You've got it bad, Sarah."
Initially shocked, Sarah then sat and thought for a minute before answering. She did have strong feelings for Chuck but didn't think it was that obvious and she hadn't even talked to her mom about it. However, maybe talking with his sister wouldn't be a such a bad idea. In a somewhat subdued voice, she replied, "You're right, Ellie, but he's too good for me."
Ellie glared at her. "That's crap, and you know it."
Sarah is taken aback by this and justified her views, "I'm just an angry mess, Ellie."
"But you said you're not around him," Ellie highlighted.
Sarah replied, sarcastically, "I can't be around him all day and all night."
Ellie eyed her. "You could be all night."
Sarah looked at her friend, shocked. "Are you suggesting I sleep with your brother?"
"Tell me you haven't thought about it," Ellie challenged.
Sarah's silence and deep blush answered for her. Ellie grinned.
"Maybe," Sarah eventually replied.
"You know he's crazy about you, don't you?"
"I- I know he wants to date. I don't know any more than that, Ellie," Sarah replied.
Ellie gave her a hard look. "He'd do anything for you. Doesn't that tell you?"
"But he's so kindhearted, he'd do the same for anyone," Sarah pointed out.
Ellie nodded. "Well, yes, he is, but not anything for anyone. He adores you, Sarah Can't you see that in how he looks at you?"
Sarah thought about that. There was always something in his eyes. "He's probably given up on me in that way. We are just friends, Ellie."
"You should know him well enough by now, Sarah. He won't give up until you tell him to get lost," Ellie told her.
Sarah scoffed, "Ha. Even if I wanted him to leave me alone, I couldn't as we need both salaries to live in that apartment!"
Ellie started to get annoyed. "Chuck would be respectful of your wishes, Sarah. That's who he is. If he wasn't, he would have made advances, physical ones, by now."
Sarah knew this. He was such a gentleman. "Maybe I will make advances on him," she challenged back.
Ellie burst out laughing. "Do that. He'll probably have a heart attack!"
Sarah grinned. That was probably true! Then she got serious. "I want to get a new job first, then I will feel more worthy."
Ellie started to object, then reconsidered and just asked, "How's that going?"
Sarah looked downcast. "I've not heard anything from my contact yet. Chuck tells me to just be patient."
"Good. You need to be. These things take time."
Sarah chuckled. "I hate that, but I'm trying not to be angry about it!"
On the start of the fifth day after sending the email, she found an email reply. Chuck was still asleep, but she couldn't stop herself from squealing.
Chuck rushed into the kitchen in just a t-shirt and boxers. Sarah noticed his legs, but was so hyped up, she didn't really look, although she would have done any other time.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Email," she replied and opened it.
Sarah,
So good to hear from you. I hope LA is treating you better than Chicago.
I:m sorry it's taken me a while to reply. I had to check out some options.
You'll get a call from a friend of mine, Diane Beckman. She has an opening that I think you would be good for.
She is a bit stern and pushy, but she is a great person, so keep an open mind.
Good luck and tell me how you get on.
Megan
xx
"Oh my God, Chuck. I might get a new job!" Sarah exclaimed.
She leaped up and kissed him. It was their first real kiss, but she put all her thanks into it.
When she pulled away, he looked stunned. She felt it, too, but justified her action to them both. "You did this, Chuck."
"You haven't got the job yet, Sarah." He urged caution.
That knocked her back. He was right, but she was just feeling elated at getting this far.
Sarah had just finished cleaning the tables after the main lunch period. She was preparing to meet Chuck for lunch.
Last week's on-call was over, and he was back on days.
They usually met outside the Buy More and she now left the Wienerlicious to head over there.
Her phone rang. She thought it might be Chuck telling her he couldn't come, and she felt extremely disappointed, but when she looked at the unknown number, she knew it wasn't him. "Hello," she answered it.
A clipped female voice asked, "Is that Sarah Walker?"
Sarah answered, "It is. Who is this?"
"My name is Diane Beckman. A mutual friend, Megan Johnson, gave me your name. Can you talk?"
Sarah was almost jumping up and down. "Yes, Ma'am."
"Tsk. None of that, please. Call me Mrs. Beckman. If things go well for you, you might get to call me Diane."
"Sorry, Mrs. Beckman." She decided to just say it. "I am quite excited to hear from you."
"Hmm. Well, you haven't got the job yet. Can you come and see me? Tomorrow?"
"I am working tomorrow, but might be able to get off early, but I'd have to get cleaned up before I could come." She worried that this was too awkward.
"Hmm. I like the loyalty. I will be busy until 5.30pm anyway. Can you get here by 6pm? Beckman & Associates?"
"Absolutely," Sarah replied.
"Good. See you then."
"Thank you, Mrs. Beckman."
She stood stunned for a few seconds, then roused herself. She had to tell Chuck!
She looked up from her phone. He was standing in front of her, grinning.
She grinned back. "How much did you hear?"
"Just that you're going to meet a Mrs. Beckman tomorrow."
"Yesss!"
Having gone home full of excitement, reality was setting in. What the hell do I wear?
She spotted Ellie walking to her apartment and rushed to the door, calling to her, "Ellie, you've got to help me!"
Ellie was surprised but just shifted direction and walked over to her. "Hello to you too, Sarah," she said, sarcastically.
"Sorry, Ellie, but I've got an interview tomorrow after work and have no idea what to wear."
By this time, they were in Sarah and Chuck's apartment.
Ellie looked confused. "What did you used to wear in Chicago or New York? What's wrong with the same again?"
Sarah looked at her friend, embarrassed. "I want to impress this woman, Ellie. What I used to wear won't do that."
"Do you want to wear something of mine?"
Sarah looked at her friend. "That's a lovely suggestion, but you're a bit bustier than me. You're tops wouldn't fit me."
"Hmm. Then we're going shopping!" Ellie grabbed Sarah's hand and pulled her towards the door.
"I can't afford anything, Ellie," Sarah whined.
Ellie replied instantly, "I'm buying! You've pulled my brother out of his funk. I feel I owe you."
There was nothing Sarah could do to persuade her differently.
Within an hour, Ellie had driven her to the shopping mall, dragged her into Ellie's favorite clothing store, she'd found, tried on and bought a blue skirt suit and a new white blouse. Next were shoes to go with it. Sarah couldn't believe how she looked in this outfit. "Ellie, you have to let me pay you back for this."
Ellie smirked at her. "Get the job, then wow my brother. That'll be payment enough!"
Sarah laughed with her but wondered what Chuck would think of her in this.
Sarah hadn't had a chance to show Chuck her outfit the previous evening as he had been called out from work on a long call and she was asleep when he got back. She had been hoping he'd help her with some interview practice but had to just fret over it on her own.
Now it was lunchtime and she really needed to talk to him. She'd sent the text almost demanding a meeting and, thankfully, he was able to meet at 2pm.
She rushed over to the Buy More and walked in. When she didn't see him at the Nerd Herd desk, she started to panic. She started to scan the rest of the store.
She spotted Lester and Jeff starting to walk in her direction. No, that wasn't going to happen!
She ducked back out of the store and sent him a text.
Where are you?
She started pacing up and down just outside, then got a return text.
Just coming. Sorry.
He came rushing out of the store. He was soon standing in front of her. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground spinning round. It was so unexpected that all her tension vanished, and she laughed feeling lighter than she had, well, ever.
As he put her back down, she felt like kissing him, but managed to hold herself back. "Thank you for that, Chuck. It was just what I needed."
"Getting nervous?" he asked.
"You have no idea!" she exclaimed.
"Just be yourself," he advised her.
She shook her head. "God, no! Angry Sarah will not impress!"
He smiled. "Okay, no anger or shouting, but be honest and be how you've been recently. I've not seen that anger for a while."
She gripped his arm. "That's all you, Chuck. I don't get so angry when you're with me, but in the interview, I'll be on my own." She started to tense again.
He was obviously touched by her admission. "Thank you, Sarah. Well, just imagine I'm there with you, quietly sitting beside you."
That wasn't a bad idea. She smiled at him. "I'll do that, Chuck. When she tries to wind me up, I'll think 'how would Chuck answer this?'"
He grinned. "Depends on the question, Sarah. If she asks how someone as beautiful as you is still single, I wouldn't be able to answer."
Sarah blushed but gripped his arm a bit tighter. "Thank you, Chuck. You really know how make a girl feel good."
He smiled. "It's not just a compliment, Sarah."
Her blush darkened. God, he is so good for me!
She tentatively asked, because she didn't know how much time he had, "Can I run through my thoughts of what she might ask and how I should answer?"
"Sure."
They spent the next half an hour going through this. He pointed out how she might want to answer some questions differently and asked some questions she hadn't considered. By the end of that time, she felt a bit more prepared.
Beckman & Associates were on the third, fourth and fifth floors of the building, so she had to sign in at the entrance and then take the elevator up to the third floor to the firm's reception. She spent the time in the elevator straightening her jacket.
As the doors opened, she walked out and followed the sign to the reception. The receptionist was obviously waiting for her. "Miss Walker?"
"In person," Sarah replied.
The woman chuckled at that. She made a call. "She's here Mrs. Beckman. I'm bring her to you."
"This way." She led Sarah to an office with a closed door and knocked, then opened the door ushering Sarah in.
Diane Beckman was middle aged with dark red hair scraped back into a bun. She was short but looked formidable. Sarah wasn't sure what it was, but it was impressive. She stood and smiled at Sarah, but it didn't look that natural to her, as if she rarely did that. "Sarah, thanks for coming."
She held out her hand across her desk and Sarah walked to the desk and shook her hand. "Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Beckman."
The woman's grip was firm, but Sarah held as tightly. Somehow that seemed to please her potential boss who gave her a decisive nod. "Take a seat, Sarah."
She sat in the chair on her side of the desk looking at this rather frightening woman, desperately trying to quell her nerves.
A/N: An interview for a new job. Hope Sarah gets it, but if she does, how will that affect her time with Chuck?
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