Part 5

Velvet's POV

I had to keep my mind clear as I drove. That Howard Bondurant is a fool. War has made him stupid! Why would he ever want me? We belonged in separate but equal worlds. I tried to shake him from my mind, but all I could think about was his shirtless body. He was always an intimidating man, but seeing him so bare. It made me feel something I never felt before. I just shook my head.

"If God really wanted me to even give that man my attention he'd send me a sign." I muttered in disbelief. Once I returned home, I saw Daddy working on his truck. Seeing him immediately made me think of Miles Abraham. I winced as I got out of the car.

"Hey, Dad." I replied and he looked up at me with a nod.

"Hey. Lucinda called earlier today, asked if she could come on by. I said she could for an hour." he said. I nodded and moved over to the porch.

"I'll get dinner started." I replied.

"There's some cow in the fridge." he said. I nodded. "One mo' thing. Howard Bondurant called, asked to borrow a shovel and axe. You gon' bring it over to his farm tomorrow after church."

I paused on the front porch and looked up at the sky shocked. God, was this your doing? What the hell was that man trying to do? I looked at my dad and nodded.

"Yes sir." I replied. I made us some greens, mashed potatoes and steak. I didn't have much of an appetite. I was too busy thinking about what could happen tomorrow. What if Howard tried something? I don't think he'd ever hurt me, but the thought of being alone with him… I just didn't know what to think of him going to these efforts just to keep my attention.

Lucinda came around not too long after I cleaned up the dishes and she and I sat on the porch together looking up at the stars.

"My wedding is in a few months. You're going to be there right?" she asked. I looked at her stunned.

"Of course I will be!" I stated. She smiled and nodded leaning her head on my shoulder.

"Good. I know Miles Rockwell will be there." she soothed and I groaned.

"Do not mention that name." I replied. She leaned up and looked at me confused.

"What's wrong with marrying him?" she asked. I shook my head.

"I don't want to be someone's maid." I replied and she gave me a dumb look.

"Oh don't be naïve. Marriage is more than that. I am sure Miles will be a great husband. He'll provide for you and soon you both will have a family." she said. I was already going insane from the talk already. I stood up from the porch.

"But what if I don't want that right now!" I snapped looking at her. "What if I just wanted to live my life and find a husband who will treat me like a queen! I don't want to marry and cook and clean and then have some man's babies and raise all of them while he's out working!"

She looked at me stunned as if I was crazy and I just shook my head.

"I just don't want to be like some of these women who stay with their husbands who aren't loyal and are out making babies with other women or beatin' their wives." I said.

"But you don't know if Miles is like that." she said gently standing up and taking my hands in hers smiling warmly at me.

"Oh Velvet, there's so much more to marriage. And I know Aunt Hattie raised you, but you don't have to worry about anything. You're young and beautiful and smart, any man who wins your heart will be happy to keep you happy. Just you watch." she said. I smiled at her words and leaned in hugging her tight. Lucinda was my best friend and I would never want to lose her.

The next morning, I was sitting with my daddy in church singing hymns in church. We clapped and danced and enjoyed the sermon. I looked on the other side of the church looking for Lucinda but I didn't see her or her parents. I did see Miles though, sitting a row up on the other side. He looked my way smiling big at me and nodding at me. I politely smiled back and turned away. I was in a red dress and matching heals, wearing my pearl necklace. My hair was pinned up and neat. It was a lovely sermon, speaking about temptation and how we must protect ourselves from Satan's tricks.

Once it was over, everyone was talking and discussing who was meeting at whose house for dinner. I was standing beside daddy while he spoke to a few older women. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Preacher Abraham and Miles approaching. Now was the perfect time to slip away to the car so I could deliver the tools. Daddy and I took different vehicles. Before I could get away though, Daddy gripped my forearm and pulled me back coolly with a smile.

"Preacher Abraham, just the man I was wanting to see." Daddy said and I immediately looked to the ground hiding my scowl.

"Ellis, Happy Sunday." the pastor said. Miles looked at me with another warm smile, but this time I didn't return it.

"Happy Sunday, Pastor. I have been thinking and I have decided that I think it would be a good idea for young Miles here to court my daughter." he said. Both men's eyes popped and the father's shook hands.

"Oh that's great to hear!" Preacher Abraham said looking at me with a smile. "This is exciting news!"

"It's something." I muttered. The preacher patted his son's back happily.

"How about you take Velvet here for a ride in your car, son?" he asked. Daddy raised his head.

"Oh it can't be right now. Velvet needs to take some tools over to the Bondurant home first." he said. Now the preacher frowned lightly.

"You trust a white man alone with your daughter Ellis? They wouldn't trust any of us with their daughters." he said. I stiffened some finally raising my head some.

"The Bondurants have been nothing but kind to our family. I feel perfectly safe going over to Howard Bondurants house." I stated almost proudly. Preacher Abraham and Miles looked at my father, the preacher almost offended while Miles more nervously. Father shot me a look.

"Girl mind your manners. Go and deliver those tools now." he said. I nodded obediently and hurried from the church. I've never wanted to get out of there fast enough. I couldn't believe my father agreed with the Rockwell's for courting and future marriage. I had to hold myself together and not let this shake me. I got in my car, looked at my back seat, to make sure the tools were back there before driving off without saying goodbye to anyone. I could see it in Preacher Abraham's face. He did not like a woman speaking out of turn that much was for sure. And my daddy wanted me to marry his son? This was just insane! I looked ahead with sadness sniffling some as I tried to think of Lucinda's encouraging words of marriage. I just wanted it to be my choice. After thirty minutes, I could see Howard's farm coming into view. I don't think it was really his farm. I heard the owner of the land pays him to work it.

But I don't listen to rumors. I could see cows in the fields fenced off so the wolves don't get them. I parked in the grass and got out moving around back. Just do this so I could go anywhere else but home. I could see him working inside cutting something open. I could tell it was an animal. I gently knocked on the wooden doorway. He looked back at me and I could see the stunned look on his face as he looked me over. I held the tools close to me as I stared up at him. He was in a faded green shirt and brown jeans. A dirtied apron covered his legs. We just stared at each other for a moment.

"Wow you look… amazing." he said and I politely smiled.

"Thank you." I replied staring at him now. He had a large bloody knife in his hand which he set down on the table before him. He wiped his hands on the apron before slowly approaching me. I winced visibly and he paused.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I shook my head definitely not wanting to tell him my dad was trying to set me up to be married. But I could feel the tears wanting to slip. No. I would not cry!

"Nothing here are your tools." I said shoving them into his arms and turning to walk away.

"Come here." he commanded immediately making me pause. His tone was so stern that it made me shiver. I slowly turned to look at him.

"Did you even need the tools?" I asked and he sighed heavily shaking his head.

"No." he answered and I nodded.

"Why are you doing this, Howard? Why are you trying to be in my life?" I asked. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He looked down at the tools before sighing heavily.

"Look Velvet, ever since the day I met you, I felt some kind of… spark inside me. It's something I have never felt for any woman. I just want to get to know you again- know you for real like before I went off to the war." he replied. I looked at him almost unsure. All the times he's ever asked me whether it was to give me a ride home or to let him into my home so he could protect me, he's always asked me. He's asked no other man, my daddy, for permission or access to me. It was always my choice. He walked over to me throwing the tools to the ground. "And I know you feel something, even if it's small, for me."

I had to look up at him as he towered over me and I looked away now.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said. I suddenly feel a hot palm on my cheek and I almost gasp as I am turned to look up at him. The fact his skin touched mine, made my heart beat faster and my legs tighten together.

"So you weren't looking at my body for all that time yesterday because you liked it?" he asked.

"No." I answered all too quickly, but he shook his head.

"Don't lie." he said firmly, but not with aggression. My lips quivered some as I shook my head, his thumbs now slowly massaging my cheeks making me melt even faster.

"You do not know what you ask. To want anything to do with a colored woman- you should want a white woman like this." I replied, his eyes softening on me the more his hands caressed my skin.

"A man knows what he wants… I don't want no white woman. I want you." he said. I was completely shocked and my face showed it. Slowly he glanced down at my lips as he began to lean closer to me. On instinct I nearly inch back from him and he pauses. "Kiss me… and if you don't like it, I won't bother you ever again."

Once more he gives me a choice, a choice I know he would respect should I not want to even kiss him. I looked up at him with mild traces of fear, but the softness in his eyes did not reflect that drunken look men get when looking at a woman. It was genuine. He leans in again and I raised my hands to touch his chest. He pauses one more time, staring at me deeply now. Feeling his firm chest made me come back to life once more. It's not okay for a colored woman to be curious of a white man, but in this barn, no one could see us. No one could stop us. Howard starts to lean down one more time to me and this time I do not stop him. He leans down and I slowly, very slowly lean up to meet his lips. We both stop inches from each other, our eyes slowly closing as we meet.

Finally, we both crossed that line together and let out lips collide. His were thin and warm and immediately I felt… alive. His lips moved in sync with mine and it was awkward at first, but the more we wanted it, the more our lips moved, the more intense it began. Immediately I broke it though panting heavily now biting my lip and looking away. My body felt different. I hadn't noticed I was gripping his shirt now. His hand brought my face to his once more and this time I felt his tongue enter my mouth. I gasped now, my mouth opening wide so his tongue could explore my mouth further looking for his tongue. Before I could hold back, a moan slips from me. Immediately, Howard's hands moved down my face and over my shoulders easing to my hips. His hands were calloused and held me in place. I… liked the hold he had on me. His large hands made me feel safe in some way. I finally raised my hands letting them slide up his chest and around his neck. I had never been in such a position with a boy really.

I've kissed a few boys in my youth, but this was different, this was an intensity I had never felt before. I felt his body lean over me, his hands sliding down my body and he suddenly gripped my bottom and raised me up. I yelped gently as he was now carrying me across the room, past the table and over toward his larger and wider table where his tools would have been hanging. Luckily the wall was empty. I felt I wanted to do more. The second he sat me down, my hands were moving to unbutton his shirt. As I did this, he leaned in to my neck kissing aggressively on my soft flesh. My head fell back and another moan escaped me as I kept unbuttoning his shirt. Suddenly, I felt his body move between my legs, making my dress ride up. His hands were already starting to paw at my legs and thighs. He was now moving closer to my panties and now I felt myself whimpering my mind coming back to itself. I pulled back now.

"No please!" I whimpered and now he paused looking at me confused and panting heavily. I shook my head.

"I've never done this before." I said quickly feeling embarrassed already.

"Which part?" he asked, his voice ragged. I swallowed looking at him now.

"All of this. I ain't ever been with anyone before." I said and his eyes flexed some as he leaned back.

"Oh." he said leaning back. I closed my legs and with his help moved off the table straightening up some. I wiped down my dress unable to look at him trying to just walk around him. He stopped me thought. "Hey, hey, you don't have to go."

"Yes I do Howard." I said trying to pull back, but he gripped my hands.

"Hey I know you feel the same I do." He said. I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter what we feel! We can't do this and you know why!" I said. He shook his head.

"I don't care. I don't care what others say and you don't have to worry, no one is going to hurt you for wanting to be with me!" he said trying to make me see reason. Now the tears were falling and I shook my head.

"My dad is trying to make arrangements for me to marry someone!" I blurted. His face twitched a bit and he stood up now.

"Who?" he asked. I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter. We can never do this again okay. We just can't!" I said pulling from his hold and moving from the barn. He was behind me gripping my forearm and turning me to face him.

"Do you want to marry this guy?" he asked. I stared at him through wet eyes as I shook my head.

"No, but what does it matter what I want?" I replied.

"It matters to me." he said. I just sighed sadly and shook my head.

"Just forget about me Howard, we can't start this. We can't ever start this." I cried. His eyes softened sadly as he slowly released me.

"Okay, Velvet." he said in defeat. I closed my eyes feeling more tears fall and I turned and hurried and got in my car and drove back home.