Part 7
Once more I felt Howard's muscles holding on to me, opposite of Mile's arms that were stringy and slim. Howard's arms could crush me, but deep down I knew he would never be violent toward me. How did I know that? I just knew. Our lips devoured each other in the night. I could taste the alcohol on his lips, but it wasn't heavy. He wasn't completely out of his mind tonight. I didn't care what happened tonight, whatever we were going to do it would be done. I kept my grip tight on his shoulders as he tore his lips from me pressing his forehead against mine rubbing against my slowly. He was panting heavily too as was I.
"It ain't good for you to be naked right now." he said against my lips, eyes clouded as they stared at me, his arms remaining locked around me as if doing so restrained him from touching more of me. But with his body basically against mine, I could feel his manhood pressing into me. I bit my lip softly not really thinking before I spoke.
"Why don't you get naked then it won't be bad." I replied breathlessly. His eyes stared down at me almost stunned but he wasted no time in throwing off his shirt and then pulling off the shirts underneath. I quickly leaned down and grabbed the blanket opening it back out again on the grass. I felt one of his hands on my bare bottom cheek and I bit my lip again feeling the shiver of the night's wind against my spine. I leaned back up and faced Howard again. No one is watching. That's the only thing I kept chanting to myself as I faced him once more. Now his shirt was off and I got another full look at his powerful chest. He was kicking his boots off to the pile of shirts beside him and I suddenly moved up to him grabbing his hands and stopping him. He looked at me with a deep gaze, a gaze that I felt a sense of happiness would only be pointed at me. I just leaned up and let my face meet his, our lips meeting in a loving kiss.
He responded with restraint, not rushing to taste every inch of me. While our lips enjoyed each other's, we both removed his pants and I could feel the thick fabric sliding down to the ground. His knees move up once, twice, and now he's kicking them away, his face still nuzzling against mine the entire time. My lips stretched into a smile without much thought. Howard smiled too and I felt his thumb come up and gently run across his bottom lip.
"So beautiful. God couldn't have created a more beautiful woman." he whispered. Now I smiled more for I had never heard someone say that to me before.
"He made Eve." I replied and he shook his head.
"No. You're better than Eve." he said pecking my lips gently. "You ready?" I swallowed nervously. That was the question wasn't it. I looked into his gorgeous blue eyes before nodding and moving over to the blanket and he remained standing just long enough for me to see all of him. He was a giant of a man and that giant of a man wanted me despite the world telling him not to. He crawled over me and I was sitting up for a bit. We just stared at each other for a moment, my hand reaching up to gently caress his cheek. He leaned into my touch closing his eyes for a split second and letting out a gentle groan as he moved to kiss my hand. His lips were warm against my palm. Slowly he came back in to gently peck my lips of which I responded and we stared at each other intimately again, just like the last time in his barn before we both leaned in for a more passionate kiss.
This was it neither of us were turning back. I parted my lips and let his tongue enter and find mine immediately. I let out a gentle moan in response, I feel his large hand cup my breast. His hand was so warm against my flesh, I liked it.
"This okay?" he muttered against my lips and I nodded quickly before kissing him more, wanting more of him against me. I let my hands wrap around his neck and slowly I start to lie back and he responds by following me, moving on top of me. Now his body is on mine, slowly he starts to gently rub against. I feel his shaft rubbing against me. I've never felt anything hard against me like that before. So I gently parted my legs so his lower half could fit between mine. My fingers curled into his hair and when he comfortably positioned between my legs, I instinctively gave a gentle tug to his hair, the nervousness growing in the pit of my stomach. It mixed however with the desires growing in the core of my vagina.
I feel the head of him rubbing at my vagina and with my other hand I grip his shoulder. Now his lips start to gently pepper my face for a second before he looks down at me our eyes locking on each other. Here were, together beneath the moonlight together. Once more he just gazes down at me.
"What are you thinking?" I asked softly. He looked my face over some before smiling.
"I'm thinking… that I ain't ever gonna let you go after this night." he said and I stared at him stunned by his words before smiling warmly up at him. His hand reaches down between us and I feel him take hold of himself and gently guide himself against me and it only takes him a few seconds to find my entrance. I take light even breaths trying not to panic. There are worst pains then this, that I know. His eyes were still sweet and gentle even as he slowly began to push into me. Now I felt afraid, but I didn't let him know that. This was the only hard part. He takes his time slowly tearing into me. I feel pain, but it's nothing unbearable that much I knew. He met resistance and slowly he pushed past my maidenhood. My lips parted as the pain began to grow and I tried my best not to tighten up. But my muscles were doing it on their own.
Howard closed his eyes tight as if trying to focus as he continued to push and my head fell back as I felt my toes curling from the pain. But as he kept going slow, the pain wouldn't get too bad. I heard him mutter something out, and I could have sworn it was him saying 'I'm sorry'. I couldn't register it in time before he pushed right in to the hilt and for once I groaned out. He shuddered and released a low moan as he didn't move now. I was somewhat glad he did this. Get that hard part over with. He remained perfectly still as he looked down at me, eyes asking if I was okay and I just let out soft even breaths as I felt him all the way inside me. He cupped my face in his large hands and slowly smiled wiping away the tear that fell over the side of my face. I just nodded to tell him I was ready for him to move and he slowly removed his head from me and I felt the light burning, but immediately he set an even rhythm that made it tolerable to feel him inside me.
"Damn girl." He panted heavily against me his hips trying their hardest not to move too fast, even though I could see the darkness in his eyes. He wanted to ravage me and his tightened fists on either side of me told me he wanted to. This is what being a woman was about and he made me one. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him hard letting my arms wrap around his firm hips. He responded back with a low growl and he began to pick up speed immediately. The pain vanished quite quickly, but there was still tightness and my stomach definitely hurt, but I bored it all just to feel him inside me.
He moaned heavily against my lips grinding his hips back and forth into me and I could feel every inch of him stretching me out. Slowly the aches and cramps dissolved and I was relieved at that. I held on to his arms as I felt the pressure starting to transition into a low throbbing in my muscles. Now my legs were tightening around his hips tighter as my head fell back as I starting to find tingling, a good tingling inside me. I cried out feeling Howard's lips against my exposed neck as he started to move faster and harder into me. Each thrust was powerful and I felt every inch of it.
He panted hard and heavy into my flesh as he moved faster. I feel one of his hands cup my breasts hard and it immediately sent shocks of pleasure inside me so quick I gripped his hair again. We both looked at each other as if making sure the want and need was still in each other's eyes. I had to make sure this was still real. I knew I would probably ache tomorrow, but I didn't care. I knew my father could wake up and become hysterical that I was missing and I didn't care. I wanted to live in this moment- this feeling forever. It felt too good.
Our lips found each other once more, his grunts and pants getting rougher against me. I felt so devoured with pleasure I didn't even realize my orgasm sneak up on me. My body jerked hard, my legs shaking around his hips. I moaned out into the air and boy did I moan. It seemed my sweet noises made him buck heavily as he groaned heavily against me releasing himself inside me.
"Oh fuck." he groaned before collapsing on top of me. I let out a soft whimper as I felt his weight on me. He quickly rolled off me and immediately pulled me a top of him, our panting still evident. I was completely exhausted and let my eyes close for the longest time so I could rest. I feel his arms around me, that protectiveness starting to seep into my body again making me feel at peace and calm. We stayed in this position for a long time, his hands running over my back and I just listened to his heart beat. That rest turned into sleep.
I could feel light coming through my eyes and I slowly opened them. I saw the trees across from me. A doe and her baby were gently creeping from them to move to the lake. The doe was watching me carefully making sure I was not a threat to her baby. I blinked a few times looking around to see I was still on the blanket from last night. I hear a low grumbling behind me and lift my head a bit to realize it's snoring. I then feel a tightness around my stomach and I look down to see a long arm wrapped around my stomach. Howard… he was still here. I looked up at the pale sky.
Papa wouldn't be up right now, but he would be soon. I finally rolled over on my back and then rolled over my side again facing him. Now he was awake, staring at me with tired eyes.
"Hey." he said and I stared at him lightly.
"Hi." I replied. We just stared at each other for a moment his hand raising up on the blanket between us, hand open. I looked at it for a moment knowing what it was asking. Did last night mean anything? Did we mean anything to each other? I looked back up at him and raised my hand to slowly meet his. His hand covered mine completely. The heat from his hand began to move into my own. We slept bare in the wilderness and luckily it wasn't cold so we wouldn't get sick. We probably had a few bugs crawling over us though. Slowly we sat up and I groaned a bit placing my hand over my stomach rubbing it some. Howard looked at my stomach before looking back up at me.
"Does it hurt?" he asked softly, worry in his eyes, and I shook my head.
"I'll be fine. It'll go away soon enough." I replied looking at him now. His hair was completely messy and it actually made me smile some. He tilted his head.
"What?" he asked and I shook my head again smiling some.
"Nothing." I replied looking down at my body some more wondering what happens now. Howard answered my question before leaning over and giving my shoulder a kiss. "I'm probably gross from the lake. I will need to get home before my daddy wakes up and finds me gone. Don't need him searching the woods with his gun." He nodded gently.
"Can I see you later?" he asked kissing his way up my neck. I looked down in thought of his question. I looked at him and instead asked if he'd walk me home. I could tell he was discouraged by my question, but nodded. We stood up and got dressed quietly. My body ached more and I looked over my shoulder as I only had my nightgown to put on. My panties were covered in ants. I fell asleep on my gown so there weren't any bugs on it. I looked over my shoulder at Howard staring at his back. I noticed how smooth it was. His back wasn't chewed up at all from war. I guess he was one of the lucky ones. I dusted off my slippers and rolled up the blanket and we began to walk back in the direction of my home. It was quiet and a bit foggy in the forest, but I felt safe around Howard.
We were both quiet for a moment our eyes staying ahead. Howard rubbed the back of his head some.
"So… what's this mean for us?" he asked and I looked up at him before looking ahead. The air was tense around us but maybe that was because I knew this talk and this walk could be the last thing we ever did together if I pulled away now. Howard may be a man of few words, and a man of action, but he wasn't one to be toyed with and I wasn't the toying type. He was upfront with his feelings and I knew I was upfront with my fears of what happening last night being caught by someone. And then I forget he's a Bondurant and no one would step up against a Bondurant. I glanced at him for a bit.
"I'll admit I'm still afraid for what people may do if they find out about us." I replied looking down at his hand and slowly moving to reach for his and slowly our hands wove together. "But I feel less afraid when I'm with you." His eyes seemed to sparkle at my words.
"So we can see each other?" he asks. I smiled more and nodded.
"We can." I replied. Now he tore his hat off and hollered to the sky like a wolf. His voice echoed into the trees and I laughed shushing him quickly. He took my hand again kissing the top of my palm.
"I won't let anything happen to you." he said. I smiled up at him before it faded with worry.
"Oh no, my daddy will be very angry and maybe disown me if he finds out we are together. He still has plans for me to marry." I replied. I watched him look ahead as he seemed to be thinking hard.
"The preacher's boy. Well we can't have that, now can we?" he asked. I looked at him sideways.
"Howard whatever you're thinking of doing, don't. Miles is a nice man." I replied.
"I ain't gon' hurt him. I'm just going to talk to him and convince him to not want to marry you." he said. I looked up at him with a look that said I didn't believe him.
"And then what, say you convince him not to marry me. It'll only mean my daddy will keep looking. I don't even know what he's going to do when I tell him about us." I said with worry. My father kept his head down and looked out for his own. He didn't mind the Bondurants or other white farmers on our side of the county, but like everyone else, he didn't want us mixing either. He knew the hatred of white men and didn't want to see them on such a level with any of his family especially his only daughter. I looked down trying to hide my fear of what he will do to me. Howard saw this and winced and squeezed my hand some.
"So don't tell him." he said and I looked at him stunned. "We can keep this hidden from everyone else until we're ready to tell our family. If your pa and my brothers know and don't fight us on it, then who cares what everyone else thinks?" he explained. I could tell from his voice he felt strongly about this. I felt his idea was good for now. We keep things between us and slowly tell others. I nodded leaning into him some.
"Okay." I replied and he smiled and began to swing our hands some.
"You're my girl… this is a great morning." he said. I smiled up at him feeling my cheeks burn at his happiness. As we approached the back yard of my house, we stopped and looked at each other.
"To answer your question, if I can get away today, I'll see you at the station?" I asked and once more his eyes sparkled happily.
"Yes." he replied.
"Velvet! Velvet where're you at, girl!" I heard father blurt. Howard and I snapped our heads to the house. I had to get inside. I made a move to hurry to the back door. Howard grabbed my hand again and pulled me back and quickly kissed me before taking off into the woods. I bit my lips and moved to the back door heading inside. I had to quickly say sorry to daddy when he found me and told him Lucinda snuck over early this morning to talk about her wedding. Cold feet, my daddy reluctantly agreed.
But after the big breakfast I made him, he was happy again. He kissed my forehead and went out into the field to work and I just moved back outside to wash up from last night.