Chapter 5

Setsuna sat in a chair next to the desk in Marina Ismail's room. He glanced out her window where morning desert air was blowing in and ruffled his messy black hair. Marina entered the room carrying two cups of coffee and set one down in front of the Krugis man. He nodded and sipped on the drink as steam rolled out of the cup.

"How have you been Setsuna? You seem troubled," Marina asked him as she sat down.

"I'm still trying to find the right path," he replied.

"I still stand firmly by my offer for you to stay here and stop fighting," Marina told him with a frown, "You're a good man Setsuna and you could still do so much without violence."

"I've told you it's all I know," he sighed, setting his cup down.

Marina looked sad and then asked, "How are the others? You and Feldt?"

Setsuna shook his head, "That was over a long time ago and she left."

Marina's eyes widened, "She left?"

The Krugis man leaned back in the chair, causing it to creak and his dark eyes stared out at the desert landscape as the warm breeze continued to blow in. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to quiet his mind.

Marina waited silently until he finally spoke, "She left our organization. I don't know where she is now."

"Oh Setsuna, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. Neither of us were prepared for that kind of relationship, our hearts were elsewhere," he said before taking another drink out of his mug.

"Where is your heart?"

Setsuna paused and his eyes went back out the window to the desert landscape, "I don't know."

Marina frowned and reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder, "That's alright."

…

Tieria rolled his eyes as he watched Lyle and Lasse growling at each other during an arm wrestling match. They both had downed multiple drinks and empty cups were scattered around them.

"You're both idiots," Tieria spat and stood up to leave the mess hall, "Trying to prove your masculinity through some ridiculous show of physical strength."

The pair paused and looked over at the purple haired meister. They both started laughing and Lyle poured two more drinks, sliding one toward Lasse.

"Come on over pretty boy, you can do it too," Lyle teased.

Allelujah sat with his head in his hand with an embarrassed sigh. Lyle and Lasse returned to their match and the helmsman slammed Lyle's arm down onto the table.

"No match," Lasse laughed and Lyle groaned in defeat.

Tieria shook his head and left the room without a look back. Allelujah watched as Lasse cleaned up his cups and left as well. Lyle remained by himself, pouring another drink and Allelujah suddenly felt irritated. He reached out and grabbed the Irishman's arm firmly.

"Lockon, stop it," Allelujah snapped.

Lyle jerked his arm out of the super soldier's grasp, "Get off it, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? How about what's wrong with you? You're in a downward spiral and I want to stop, but you're not helping yourself. It started when Feldt was dating Setsuna and it's gotten so much worse since she left," Allelujah said with desperation in his voice.

"You're overreacting," Lyle scoffed and took a swig of his new drink.

"I get you've always enjoyed a drink or two, but you're having multiple a day now and drowning yourself in the bottle. What's going through your head?" Allelujah asked.

Lyle refused to look at the mismatched eyes that were watching him with concern, "I've said before I've always enjoyed a few drinks."

Allelujah growled, "Get your head out of your ass Lockon, I know you love Feldt. It's not a secret. Quit drinking away your sorrows and go tell her that."

The room was silent for the moment except the sound of Lockon placing his cup back on the table. Allelujah felt his heart pounding in his chest from the flash of anger he just had.

"I don't know where she is," he said barely above a whisper.

Allelujah's eyebrows rose as he saw grief flash over the Irishman's face. He immediately felt bad for snapping. He knew what it was like to be separated from Marie and couldn't imagine not knowing where she was. He also knew that it was kept secret where Feldt had gone because she wanted to start a new life and she had requested her location not be disclosed. The only person who knew where she went was Tieria.

Lyle stood up and left the room without a word. Allelujah was left sitting alone and he stared at the empty bottle that the meister had left behind. He wanted to help, but didn't know what to do. He finally stood up, realizing he had to do something.

….

Sumeragi sat in her room and drank a glass of wine. She let out a satisfied sigh as the alcohol ran down her throat. She heard a tap on her door and called out for whoever it was to come in. She glanced over her shoulder, taking a gulp of her wine with a look of surprise on her face as she saw who walked in.

"Allelujah?"

"Miss Sumeragi," he said quietly and entered the room.

"What's going on?"

Allelujah sighed, "Where is Feldt?"

"She left, you know what," the tactical forecaster said, immediately becoming cold.

She was still raw from Feldt leaving. Having Feldt and Christina both gone was a punch in the gut. The least she could do was hold up her promise to the girl. She wasn't going to let anyone find her if it was the last thing she did. She didn't know exactly where Feldt was, but she wasn't going to provide any clues.

"Where?"

"I don't know."

The two stared at each other and Allelujah nodded, "Alright."

The super soldier turned and started to leave the room and Sumeragi called out to him, "Allelujah, don't do this. She wanted it to be a secret. I don't even know where she went."

"Right," he replied, knowing he couldn't let it go.

Allelujah moved down the hall knowing where he was headed next. He found Tieria's door and tapped on it with his knuckles. He paused when he heard a raised voice inside and the door opened. His jaw dropped as he immediately recognized the voices.

"Lockon?"

Lyle and Tieria looked to be in the middle of a heated discussion.

"Get this idiot out of here," Tieria told Allelujah with a scowl, "He needs a glass of water and a nap."

"What are you doing Lockon?"

"He's asking me where Feldt went, apparently someone told him I'm the only one who knows," Tieria said with a glare directed at Allelujah.

The super soldier's eyes shot down and he cringed at how he had apparently made everything worse.

"Tell me where she is," Lyle begged, "I need to know."

"She doesn't want anyone to know, especially you," Tieria huffed.

Lyle reached out and grabbed Tieria's jacket with pleading blue eyes, "Please."

Tieria's crimson eyes stared into blue and he was silent for several moments before saying, "She's somewhere close to your heart."

Tieria proceeded to swat Lyle's arm away, "Now get out, that's all I'm saying to you."

…

Months passed by and the Ptolemy was passing through the atmosphere back to the surface of the Earth. Lyle found himself numb in battle, shooting the enemy mercilessly without a second thought. There was a block of cement in his chest where his heart used to be and he felt nothing. Each night he would help himself to several drinks in order to fall asleep and he had isolated himself from the others. Allelujah had eventually given up trying to help him figure out the clue Tieria had given them about Feldt's whereabouts. Tieria had frankly told him if he couldn't figure it out or didn't want to work hard enough to find her he didn't deserve to see her. Setsuna was back to his usual self being obsessed with his Gundam and righting the twistedness in the world in his own way.

"We're going to spend a few days relaxing, feel free to do what you please," Sumeragi told them as she prepared for a few days of lounging by the pool with a cold drink.

Setsuna left to visit Marina as everyone expected. Tieria stayed on the Ptolemy, muttering how much he detested the surface and wished to return to space. Marie and Allelujah went with Sumeragi and were in agreement that some rest by the pool sounded perfect. Lasse also declared he'd be going for some relaxation by the pool. Sumeragi secretly laughed at the thought of him putting his speedo on and doing push ups by the pool like he always seemed to do. She glanced at the Irish meister with questioning eyes.

"I'm going to go back home," Lyle said to the group who nodded at him with approval.

It had been awhile since he had been to visit his family and Anew's graves. The last time he visited them he hadn't been alone. He swallowed dryly and prepared a bag before leaving.

"I'm glad he's going back home," Allelujah told Marie, "Maybe that's what he needs."

"It's exactly what he needs," Tieria stated dryly.

…

Feldt strolled through the busy streets of Dublin. A light drizzle was falling and her raincoat rustled around her as she moved down the narrow sidewalks. She carried a side bag with her computer in it and made her way to the college campus. This was one of her rare occasions that required travel and she had been asked to speak to one of the college classes about computer software design. She enjoyed briefly coming to the city, but was always happy to go back home to her quiet little house in the countryside with its beautiful ocean view. Even in the dreary weather college students bustled about in groups, some laughing while others seriously talked about exams they had just taken. Feldt watched them in awe, wondering what it would have been like to go to school like a normal kid and make her way through the education system. Instead, she had learned all of her skills from her parents and Celestial Being. Her skills were real, but her documentation that she was certified for such skills was her own creation when she created her new life.

Feldt entered the castle-like college and made her way down the wide hallway to the classroom she would be teaching in. She entered and saw only a few students were seated since she was early. She started setting up her computer for her presentation and students slowly filed in. They all chattered and sat down, setting up their own computers without a care in the world. Feldt smiled at them and once the clock hit 0900 she started her lecture. She was a shy girl and speaking in front of others made her nervous, but when she talked about computers she would get lost and could talk for hours. The students were engaged and would periodically stop her and ask questions that she would answer and show examples on her own computer.

At the end of the hour class was dismissed and Feldt packed up her things with a satisfied sigh. The teacher of the class approached her and thanked her for her time and guest lecture. She left the building and noted the rain had gotten heavier. She pulled the hood up on her jacket as she walked quickly down the sidewalk in the direction of her car. Her shoes splashed in the puddles and she cursed herself for not wearing boots like usual. She decided to stop at one of the coffee shops to get a hot cup of tea to help warm her up and sighed in relief when she entered the warm store. She dropped her hood and ran her fingers through her pink hair that was frizzing from the rain.

A loud slam echoed through the shop and there was a splatter that made Feldt cringe. Someone had dropped their cup and made a mess. She glanced around the room and she found the source of the dropped drink. Feldt inhaled sharply and instantly felt like she had been punched in the gut. The color drained from her face and she instantly spun on her heel and left the store as quickly as possible. She pulled her hood back up quickly to hide her hair and took off running down the sidewalk. She bumped into people who snapped at her and she continued moving without hesitation.

"I have to get to my car, almost there," she mumbled as she breathed heavily, her feet splashing through puddles and moisture soaking into her shoes.

She finally made it to her car and yanked the door open, jumping in quickly. She huffed from exertion and started the engine which rumbled to life. Immediately she pulled out, cutting a bus off that honked angrily at her. She waved at them for an apology and moved down the road to get out of the city as quickly as traffic would allow.

…

Lyle had been back in Ireland for a few days and had visited his family as well as Anew's graves. He had also gone up to Galway and visited a couple old school friends. They had gone out to the bars and had a great time. He hadn't laughed like that in a long time and was grateful for their company. He left them and decided to go to Dublin to see a family friend for breakfast at their favorite coffee shop. They talked about the old days when Lyle and Neil were little kids, before Amy was born. Lyle knew those were the good days, before he had gotten older and lost in his twin's shadow. He sipped his black coffee and glanced out the window where the rain was falling heavily. It was typical Irish weather and he was glad he had worn his long coat today.

The door swung open and a slim framed woman walked in. She wore a black jacket and the hood was up. She shook her sleeves and pellets of water fell off her onto the floor. Lyle frowned as he thought about having to go out in the rain and get soaked like that. He watched her nonchalantly and she reached up to pull her hood down. Lyle was lifting his coffee mug to his lips and starting to look away when the color pink sent a rush of adrenaline through his system. He inhaled sharply as the hood was finally down all the way and his heart pounded in his chest. His cup fell out of his hand and crashed to the table as his eyes stared at the women in utter shock. Coffee splattered everywhere as he stared at a head full of pink hair. The person in question turned around to find the source of the sound and their blue eyes met.

"Feldt," Lyle whispered, feeling like all the air had left his lungs.

He couldn't move and he was stunned as she turned around and ran out of the store.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," he told the person sitting across from him who nodded with a baffled expression.

Lyle stood up and jogged out of the store into the rain. He looked both ways and saw a disturbance in the people walking down the sidewalk to his left and he took off in that direction.

"I can't believe she's here," Lyle breathed to himself as he tried to follow after her, "Somewhere close to my heart… that bastard."

….

Feldt made it to her house after driving a couple hours. She sighed in relief to be back by the little town and her small house by the sea in the country. She opened her car door and could hear sheep echoing over the hillside. Chilly salty air hit her face and the rain had slowed to a drizzle. She eagerly went inside her house and closed the door; making sure it was locked. She knew she shouldn't be surprised, it was only a matter of time before she ran into him or someone he knew. He was bound to figure out she had come to the country he was born and grew up in. She could have easily picked somewhere else to go, but during her trip to Ireland she had fallen in love with it and at that time knew if she were to ever pick a place to live it would be here.

She threw a pot on the stove to heat water for tea since she missed her chance after running out of the coffee shop. The pot whistled when it was ready and she made hot irish tea with honey. She kicked off her wet shoes and put fuzzy slippers on; snuggling into her comfy chair with her laptop. She was startled when there was loud knocking at her door. She instantly felt sick and dread filled her as she knew he had probably been able to track her back home.

"Feldt!"

Feldt sucked air in. It was him. She knew this moment was coming and someday she would have to confront him. She slowly stood up and made her way to the door. Her heart was thudding in her chest and she trembled as she was overwhelmed with emotions she thought she left behind in space. She hesitantly unlocked the door and opened it a crack so half of her face was visible.

"Yes?" she squeaked out as she was met with an intense blue gaze.

"Feldt, please, can we talk?" Lyle asked.

Her eyes traced his face and he was handsome as ever. His chocolate brown hair was darker after being soaked in the rain and his eyes were as blue as the sea on the horizon behind him. Her chest felt like it was about to burst and she clenched her fists.

"I don't think it's a good idea," she said and her eyes went down to her front porch step and his boots.

"Let me in," he said urgently and added with a hint of desperation, "Please."

"Lyle, don't do this," Feldt said with a shaking voice, still unable to look back up at him.

Feldt could feel her willpower breaking down inch by inch as the Irishman on the other side of the door gazed at her with pleading blue eyes. She had never seen him look that way and she wanted to slam the door in his face to escape, but she was frozen.

"I love you."

Feldt gasped and her knees went weak. She placed all her weight on the door she was holding slightly open and Lyle put his gloved hand up to keep it from closing completely.

"I love you, now please let me in so we can talk," he said, putting a little pressure on the door.

Feldt said nothing and allowed him to continue pushing until the door was wide enough for him to slip inside and close it behind him. He wore a dark trench coat and pulled it off, hanging it on the coat rack next to the door. She backed up slowly, her eyes on her pink slippers and was unable to speak. Lyle took a step toward her and she put her hand up and pointed at the mat where her own shoes were sitting.

"Shoes," she said, instantly while staring at his wet boots.

"Right," he chuckled awkwardly.

Feldt turned away and walked back to her comfy chair and crawled into it, curling her legs underneath herself. She made herself as small as possible and wrapped her cold hands around her warm cup of tea. Lyle slowly followed her into the living room and sat down on the couch across from her. She brought her eyes up to see his damp chocolate hair, questioning blue eyes, black crew neck shirt and jeans.

"This is a nice place you have," Lyle said as he looked around the little house.

Feldt nodded silently and took a sip of her tea. She had hated this man once upon a time and then became infatuated with him. Before she knew it, she was in love with him and couldn't let him go. It had been so back and forth, but here he was sitting in her living room. He had followed her from space and now was sitting mere feet from her. She couldn't believe it. Part of her was thrilled and the other part was devastated. She wanted to start a new life and have a fresh start. This was digging up old memories that she had tried so hard to get away from.

"Do you want something to drink?" Feldt asked quietly as she stared into her tea.

"If you don't mind," Lyle shrugged.

"Do you like tea?"

"I'm Irish, of course I like tea," he smiled at her, his eyes softening.

Feldt nodded and made her way to the kitchen where she turned the stove back on to reheat her pot of water. Her body felt like it was floating and she shuddered as his eyes had seemed to pierce right through her.

"Milk or sugar?"

"Nope."

"Honey?"

"Yes?" Lyle questioned with a hint of humor in his voice.

Feldt blushed intensely and snapped "The food honey, do you want it in your tea?"

He let out a laugh, "No, black is fine."

Feldt sighed and brought him his cup. Lyle took it gratefully and sipped with a content sigh. It warmed his bones after being in the cold rain for most of the day.

"Why are you here?" Feldt suddenly said.

"Because I love you," Lyle said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Feldt blushed again, "Stop being like that. I've been gone for months, what magically changed for you to show up on my doorstep? And how did you figure it out? It was kept a secret from everyone."

"Luck I guess," Lyle shrugged and bounced her question back at her, "Why are you here?"

Feldt was immediately embarrassed. He probably thought she was some kind of crazy stalker, moving to his home country and starting her own life.

"I love it here," she replied honestly, "I fell in love with it on our trip and knew if I had to live somewhere it would be here."

"You like rainy weather and almost no sun?" Lyle laughed and took a swig of his tea.

"It's beautiful," Feldt said dreamily and continued, "I love the small town I live next to. I walk to the markets every couple of days and the people are so kind. The landscape is breathtaking and the ocean is at my fingertips. I can taste the salt in the air and I feel at peace with myself for the first time."

At that moment Lyle fell in love with the girl all over again. He couldn't describe how he felt watching the woman he loved talk about the country he loved with such passion. Feldt paused when she saw Lyle staring at her with a small smile on his face. She suddenly felt very embarrassed.

"I still don't understand why you followed me here," she said.

"I told you, I love you. I came to tell you that and put it out in the open," he said honestly.

"Where is this coming from?" Feldt stammered, "You said you wouldn't love another person besides Anew."

Lyle nodded and took another drink of his tea, "I did say that didn't I? Well, I'm not always right."

Feldt's eyes went down to the floor and she clutched her drink tightly, "I'm not Feldt from Celestial Being anymore. I've started a new life and have no intention of going back."

"I know that."

"Then you know there is no future for us, you're going to go back to space and will keep fighting," she told him.

"What if I didn't?"

Feldt gasped and her eyes shot up to meet his serious face. She was silent and a cool breeze blew in one of the cracked windows. She trembled as her feelings swirled inside her like a typhoon. She was incredibly confused. Did she love this man? He caused her such anguish and at the same time could make her so happy. She wished Christina was here so she could talk with her about this. She would know what to do.

"I don't understand why you love me," she muttered.

Lyle's eyebrows rose, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Feldt sighed and set her cup down on the stand next to her. She played with the hem of her shirt and brushed a stray hair out of her eyes.

"I'm a lot younger than you, inexperienced, quiet, shy, indecisive, and I'm not that beautiful, not like Anew was anyway," Feldt said.

The young girl thought back to when Anew was on the ship and remembered how she had marveled at how beautiful and mature she was. She was incredibly smart, had a great personality and the curves of a woman. Feldt always felt inadequate when she compared herself to the other women on the ship who all had large breasts and perfect curves in the right places. She was lean with smaller breasts and looked like a child.

Lyle scoffed and became irritated, "Just stop right there. Don't be negative about yourself like that. You're quite a catch Feldt and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we were here on our trip. Seeing you with Setsuna made my blood boil because I wanted you for myself. I hated it and when you broke up with him I was pleasantly surprised. Your age doesn't matter. You're a grown woman who makes her own decisions clearly. You made the choice to leave and start a new life. I also love that you're quiet and shy, it's endearing and you're breathtaking. Don't say you aren't beautiful, that's a lie."

Feldt couldn't stop her eyes from starting to water and soon tears were running down her cheeks. She was flushed with embarrassment and her heart hammered in her chest. No one could make her feel like this and she knew at that moment it was because she was hopelessly in love with Lyle Dylandy. She stood up out of her chair with wobbly knees and slowly made her way over to him and he watched her without moving a muscle. She sat down next to him, the leather couch squeaking as her skin slid across it and wrapped her arms around his neck. Feldt squeezed her arms tightly around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. She inhaled his masculine scent that was a mixture of rain and cigarettes. Feldt paused and leaned back, their noses almost touching.

"I thought you quit smoking."

Lyle grinned sheepishly at her, "What can I say? I'm not perfect and I've been a bit stressed recently."

"Knock it off," Feldt scolded him, "You were doing so well."

"I need you to keep me in line," he told her playfully and bumped her nose with his own.

Feldt smiled shyly at him and he rested his forehead on hers, his blue eyes staring unblinking, "I missed you," he said quietly.

"Me too," she whispered back.

"Don't disappear again, I can't go through that another time," he told her and embraced her firmly.

"I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere," Feldt trailed off then added, "But where will you be?"

She was incredibly worried that they would have this amazing reunion and then he would be gone the next minute, back in space fighting. She respected that he had a job to do, but had no interest in being put through that kind of emotional duress.

"I'm here right now," he told her and the worried feeling in her gut grew.

Lyle could feel the girl tense in his arms as he spoke and he knew she was worried about him leaving her. He understood her hesitancy and he had a few things he needed to figure out for himself. He wanted to drop everything and stay with Feldt, but it wasn't that easy. He kissed the top of her pink head and held her until he felt her breathing slow as he rubbed light circles into her scalp. He smiled at the sleeping girl in his arms and let out a sigh. He couldn't believe that he was holding her once again and he felt at peace. He needed to talk to Allelujah.