Catharsis

By: Aviantei

a

I don't know if I could say anything about it that would do it justice. They weren't often, but there were times when I couldn't do anything but think about writing. I would sit around, lock myself up, forget to eat, forget to sleep, forget to do anything that didn't have to do with putting words on a page or think about what sort of words I would put on a page once I was satisfied.

Mostly, these times were vacations. I had no other obligations towards anything in the world, aside for some homework that I would steadfastly ignore until the last second, so it only made sense. Dad would always check in to make sure I was okay, although I kind of suspect it was because my mother was sick and tired of having to make sure her almost full-grown daughter wasn't killing herself from neglect of personal care.

But that was fine. I didn't want to talk to anyone besides the characters in my head anyway.

And maybe that was why I did it. I didn't care about anyone else. I didn't want to admit there was an outside world, a world where my parents existed, where my classmates were. I could hardly even consider them that way. I almost considered them the fiction, and what I was writing about was reality.

None of it was very good. I was a terrible amateur back then. Still am. You only consider yourself a writer with no need for practice if you are not even a writer at all, or something like that. I needed to want to be better. I needed to think that I could.

I wonder how I see it now. I honestly wouldn't know if I tried.

b

So, as far as I could tell, being a member of the Literary Club was no different from working with the Literary Club and not being a member. When it came down to it, I was stupid for saying that I didn't want to do it. Aside from having to tread through some poorly written pieces by high school kids, it was a bit relaxing. Active club memberships looked good when you were trying to get into schools, even if entrance exams were ultimately the deciding factor.

Although, I wasn't sure what school would end up taking me. I wasn't even convinced that I should go to school. It would be a waste, considering I had made it into the advanced classes, but I was wasting the opportunities I was already being handed there. In the end, I still hadn't managed to completely catch up with my homework over the week, and I had been stuck in the classroom after school more than once.

At least Ishikawa didn't bother me, though I had the feeling I'd be speaking with some teacher sooner or later at this rate.

Surprisingly enough, none of my club mates complained about my tardiness. I didn't even have to explain myself to Nase, and she had been the one I had worried about the most, considering she was the club president. I wasn't sure if she was less concerned since I was essentially the extra help, or maybe her lack of action had to do with the fact that I showed up unlike her truant brother and the other rumored members of Literary Club.

The work on the anthology was actually going smoothly, too, which impressed me even more. Kuriyama and Kanbara seemed to take the assignments I gave them seriously enough. I had checked their work, and while their choices weren't exactly the same as I would have done, there was more than one reason this wasn't a one-person job.

They had followed the principles I had given them well enough. Even if I was now a member of the Literary Club, it was more of their anthology than mine, though. Their decisions were the ones that really mattered. I was just an advisor.

c

As the weekend drew closer, I became increasingly paranoid about the get-together we would be having. I may have cleared up my tardy homework situation by Friday, but come Saturday's classes, I was sure I'd have another pile of assignments on my hands. Even so, that was farther back on my list of priorities than my real concern.

To be blunt, I wasn't looking forward to having my house invaded by the Literary Club again.

I almost thought about skipping Friday's meeting, but I decided against it. If I didn't go, there was a large chance that they would make a decision without me, and I'd end up with the trio on my doorstep again. And while I had managed to keep things clean over the past week, that didn't mean I was prepared for anything of the sort.

So, not being late for the first time ever, I slid open the Literary Club room's door to an almost empty room were it not for Nase. The brunette girl looked up to me as I entered, then stopped sparing me a glance in favor of her anthology work. Kanbara and Kuriyama weren't present yet, so I closed the door behind me and settled into the chair that was slowly becoming mine.

The room was quiet without the other two members, and actually kind of peaceful. They could get to work when forced to, but Kuriyama and Kanbara were prone to small talk, mostly consisting of "glasses" and "How unpleasant!"s. Nase only made the occasional noise while eating her sucker, and those were easy enough to block out while reading. I made some good headway into my current anthology expedition before the door opened, making way for my already noisy underclassmen.

"Sorry I'm late!" Kanbara called out, and Kuriyama murmured the same thing. The male headed to his seat and almost fell into it, while Kuriyama shuffled to the shelf next to the window. For the first time I noticed the bonsai tree. I didn't know if it got there when I wasn't paying attention or if it'd always been there, but I guessed it was Kuriyama's. She did say she liked gardening after all.

That didn't really matter though, because Nase cleared her throat. Kuriyama jumped a little, but managed not to knock her precious plant over. I felt a bit glad for her—I remembered reading just how delicate you have to be with those things and I didn't want to imagine the fit the first year might throw if it got hurt.

"About this weekend's meeting," Nase started and I got a knot surge up in my stomach. There it was and I still wasn't ready for it. I thought about requesting that it wasn't not at my apartment before I remembered that sort of thing was useless. It was better just to stay quiet. Already, I'd become accustomed to being pushed around.

How pathetic.

"Oh, are we still meeting at your place, Mitsuki?" Kanbara asked. I almost praised the gods, the sheer selfishness of the action stopping me. The last time I had gone to a shrine was for New Years, and that was more out of habit than anything.

"We are," Nase confirmed. I shook my leg to disperse my excitement without cheering. My school shoe tapped against the floor but I didn't care. "However, I have a proposal." My mind automatically changed proposal to order. They were practically the same thing when Nase used them. "As we discussed, meeting at my house is the easiest way to get my idiotic brother to pull some weight. If anything, to make the most of his utility, we should spend the weekend in one place."

Any relief I had been feeling dispersed on the spot. A sleepover. She was proposing a Literary Club camp-out in her living room or something, and Nase still maintained her cool like it was nothing. Once again, I was jealous, but that wasn't as prominent. As long as it had been since I had invited people (or in this case, been forced to have people over) to my house, it had been even longer since someone invited me over to theirs.

I wanted to quit the Literary Club right there, but the blinding smile on Kuriyama's face stopped me.

"Really, a sleepover?" she asked, eyes shining. Nase nodded again. "I haven't been to a sleepover before! This will be really exciting, don't you think, Senpai?"

I tried to pretend she was talking to Nase, but Kuriyama's gaze undeniably directed at me. I couldn't tell her my thoughts were the exact opposite of hers, but I couldn't bring myself to agree either. Fiction and lies may be the same thing, but I wasn't any good at spinning falsehoods off the page.

Kanbara grinned, sparing me from answering. It was almost worth listening to the words out of his mouth. "Wow, this'll be perfect," he said, that tone in his voice that was always present around his weird fetishes. "Two girls in glasses in one place together for a sleepover. And I'll be there, too. It's almost too much to handle."

"Don't worry, the rooms will be separated," Nase directed her words more to Kuriyama than to me. I hadn't been all that worried beforehand, but now I was. Even rarer than me being in any kind of somewhat intimate social situation was being in something close to that with a male. "Girls in one, perverts in the other."

Um, was she including her own brother in that just now? My theory about their relationship only gained more evidence, though I really should have asked for all the guesswork I was doing. That moment wasn't really the time, though, so I let it go.

Kuriyama nodded her approval, and Kanbara slumped down onto the table. It seemed that was enough to comfort any worries the first year had, so I should have been calm as well. However, I couldn't quite manage it. Guys and girls having a sleepover in the same house, all around the same age? That was just waiting for a romantic comedy disaster.

"So, no objections then?" Nase proposed her rhetorical question. Kuriyama shook her head, and Kanbara was too busy sulking to participate. That would have been my chance. I could have made up any excuse on the planet—hell, I could have said that I needed to visit my parents, and they wouldn't have been any the wiser! The main problem with that was Nase was anal enough to make me provide proof, and that wasn't worth it.

Regretting every second, I said, "No."

Nase nodded, pulling her half eaten sucker out of her mouth. "Then it's settled. Everyone is expected to be at my place by two tomorrow afternoon, no excuses. Don't show up on time, and we will come and find you." I had the distinct feeling that last statement had been meant for me.

I spent the rest of the meeting packing up club supplies for our weekend trip and wondered if Dad would be willing to pay the hospital bill if I just so happened to trip down the stairs and break something on the way home.

d

When I had gathered up my things and followed the handwritten instructions of Nase (I was impressed she had bothered to exert the effort at all), my first thought was, Oh, that Nase.

I hadn't even thought about it at all, and now I felt incredibly stupid. I was in the advanced courses, and even if I was slacking, I still should have been able to figure out that Nase Mitsuki was clearly the daughter of the richest family in town.

I'll admit that I didn't know the history of the Nase family well since I had only moved here for the sake of a high school education. However, I had heard enough from around town and a few not-so in depth questions. From what I had gathered, the Nase family was an older family, prestigious all the way, and had earned their fortune from divination or some bullshit thing or another.

I mean, I had an active enough imagination. I had read enough books and stories to entertain thoughts of the supernatural—it would have been amazingly cool if worlds like Bakemonogatari could actually exist, right underneath our noses! However, I had little tolerance in believing that fantasy could be hidden from mankind so well for so long, or that fantasy things would even want to be hidden in the first place.

I had decided all of this in middle school, and stuck with it ever since. I had been told that I let my childhood die at that moment, but that had been fine with me. There was limited time in this world, and spouting fantasy on the page was at least slightly more productive than trying to pursue things off of it.

Putting that aside, though, I really didn't care how the Nases made their living. Good for them for having a steady and disposable income, but that was about it. At least it made sense why the daughter was such a brat at times. She had probably been pampered her whole life, so that sort of activity was natural to her. In some ways, it really wasn't Nase's fault.

I had still mouthed off to her, though. That probably hadn't been the best idea. Whatever. I didn't intend to stay here longer than I had to. Surely I could make it through less than a year without a major incident and move on with my life.

Maybe.

I finally steeled myself and rang the doorbell to the manor's gate. There was no point in loitering outside. At least I didn't have to worry about being late since I had left as soon as I could. In fact, I was quite early. I had even packed the previous night so I would have enough time to get there!

Man, I was so whipped.

Finally, the intercom crackled to life. "Hello, how may I help you?" a female voice that was not Nase asked.

"U-um, hi," I responded. I had stuttered, too. Damn it. "My name's Sugiyama Kazue. I'm with the Literary Club." Ugh, just saying the words felt like a loss in their own way. I would have to try and regain at least some of my pride during this meeting.

"Yes, Mitsuki-sama's been expecting you." Sama. They fucking called her -sama. No, more accurately, Nase had servants, the stupid little rich girl. "Please come in!"

With that invitation, the gate opened. I walked inside and up to the front door, where the voice on the intercom greeted me in person. There was actually a human body attached to that voice, and sure enough, it was a maid. With a "This way, please," the woman lead me down a few halls into a rather expansive living room area.

Really, I had underestimated the Nase family's richness, maybe because this was more of a rural-ish town than the city I had lived in before, but that was a mistake. Seriously, Nase's living area was at least half the size of my apartment, if not more, and I had a larger than average apartment. There was just so much empty space that I wasn't sure what to do.

How were you supposed to handle yourself with so much air and no outside?

As per usual, there was a table set up in the middle of the room, though that was a bit bigger than the average as well. Nase was already there, and Kuriyama was sitting at one side, Kanbara flanking the first year's left. Really, they had come even earlier than I had? Was this some practical joke or something? I shook the thought off. Sure enough, the last empty cushion was beside Kanbara just for me, leaving him to his glasses paradise while copies of the anthology were scattered across the table.

So, that just left the person sitting at Nase's right, which left me thinking, once again, Oh, that Nase.

Now, I just felt even more stupid than before. It was one thing being oblivious about the world around me, since I really didn't care, but I had to have been introduced to my own damn classmates before, and at least three times at that if you counted each school year's class introduction. And while I didn't think I had been in the same class as Nase Hiroomi during my entire high school career, it did hold true for my third year.

Which was, to say, now.

Man, he and Nase even looked like siblings. Their faces shared some structure, their hair the same black color, and they even had similar haircuts divvied up in accordance to their genders. Their eyes shared a shape, too, way smaller than Kuriyama's. Maybe it was the fact that they were different colors that had prevented me from making the connection, even if that was a lame excuse.

But, really, Nase—no, Hiroomi, I guess—was a bit of a weirdo, from what little experiences of him I had registered. My memory of my classmates was less than optimal, but I definitely remembered that he always wore some scarf or another to school, even in the middle of summer, and apparently that habit didn't change when he was at home.

"Oh, there you are, Sugiyama-senpai!" Kuriyama said, smiling with a teacup in her hands. "We were just telling Hiroomi-senpai about you." I felt a pang of pity for her formality—being the youngest, everyone was Senpai. "You didn't tell us that you were in the same class."

What was I supposed to say? Oh, sorry, you see, I totally forgot! Yeah, no way that would go over well. I was having a hard enough time maintaining my credibility as the reliable upperclassman with Nase pushing me around. "Well, you see…" I started, hoping that my subconscious would supply a proper end to that sentence.

"I'm not surprised, though," Hiroomi commented, his smile not faltering. "Sugiyama-san isn't the most social of people. Sometimes I wonder if she even knows the rest of us exist."

I had been getting ready to sit down, but it appeared I needed to double take first. Yeah, sure, I was like that, but how could he just drop it into the conversation like it was nothing? No, even more important, how had he gotten such an accurate reading of me? Most people would assume their antisocial classmates were just shy, not that they really just didn't register the people around them!

Had I said something like that before out loud? I didn't think I had.

And the most infuriating part of it was that he could say something like that and not just drop out of my radar. Normally, people like that—his little sister included—just ended up on my mental shit list where I didn't bother to show them any shred of respect. Ugh, it was probably because he looked so cute in that scarf of his. Damn.

That was probably the only reason I actually still remembered Nase Hiroomi's name at all. When I finally sat down, I made sure I was closer to Kanbara than my own classmate.

"Oh, Sugiyama-senpai is the type that lives in her own little world and doesn't even bother with people outside of it," the second-year male commented, his hand on his chin. Really, I just wasn't safe at this table, period. "So she's very 'my-pace,' then. Wow, that's just perfect for a girl with glasses!"

Excuse you, who was my-pace?

"Don't be stupid," Hiroomi automatically retorted. "That sort of behavior is obviously more suited for a little sister, Akkey!"

Oh. Suddenly, I understood way more than I wanted to. Just as much as Kanbara held onto his insane preference for glasses, the same applied to Hiroomi and his tastes. I didn't know how you got a little sister complex when you had a sister like Nase, but I didn't ever intend to understand what it was like to have a little sister period.

But, seriously, Akkey? I felt like crying and I wasn't sure just which reason why.

"Now that we're all here," Nase said as if the entire interlude had never happened, "let's get started."

At least one of us could keep a poker face around here. No, at least one of us could keep a serious expression and be genuinely serious without spouting off complete and utter nonsense. I had to hand it to them, though. Kanbara and Hiroomi were true to their fetishes no matter what.

e

Our meeting hadn't come down to anything overly serious. Sure, we worked, but it was mostly at getting more reading done on the stack of anthologies Nase had brought home with her. After listening to Hiroomi talk for a little bit, it was obvious that he could handle himself in evaluating works, so I let him to it. Kanbara had improved since I had last reviewed his selections, so Kuriyama was the only one left that needed help.

For this purpose I traded seats with Kanbara. He pouted a bit and lamented about no longer having his glasses paradise or whatever, but went through with it. From that point on, he and Hiroomi whispered more than they did any work, but I felt like I had made progress with Kuriyama, so it didn't matter much. Nase hadn't been kidding when she had mentioned her brother being a slacker.

But, really, that scarf just happened to fit him so well, even when he was clearly trying to prove why his affection for his sister was better than Kanbara's obsession with glasses. It was really unfair.

Eventually they got loud enough to the point that even Nase couldn't ignore them, and Kuriyama was a blushing mess so her focus was out the window. I could have kept going, if only because I was used to tuning other people out. Regardless, we dismissed without so much as a debriefing and ate dinner, which I decided wasn't worth taking up space in my memory.

f

As expected, the Nase family bath was huge. I had stopped wasting my energy on marveling at the sight, but Kuriyama was another matter. She just stared, mouth open, and I was surprised she didn't drop the towel around her body in shock. Nase just went through her motions, and pushed one of the stools against the door for good measure. I couldn't say anything about Hiroomi, but I wouldn't have put it past Kanbara to be the type to try to peak.

With that done, I sat down a few stools away from Nase, soaking myself in the water. I had only been to a hot springs a long time ago, and while the bath wasn't that big, it definitely had more than enough accommodations for the three of us.

"So how was it?" Nase asked. Kuriyama had just gotten to her senses but wasn't by the showerheads yet, so I guess her intended conversation partner was me, even if she was still staring at the wall.

"It was alright," I answered. If she wasn't going to look at me, I wasn't about to look at her, either. Besides, eye contact wasn't really needed in this relationship. "I think Kuriyama-san will be able to hold her own soon, so things should go quicker tomorrow. We should probably have a discussion, soon." I took a glance in my peripheral vision, and Nase nodded. "Now that brother of yours is a piece of work."

Kuriyama sat down, right in the middle of us. "Oh, Hiroomi-senpai?" she asked, getting started on rinsing herself. I started on shampooing my hair. "He and Senpai are both pretty strange, but they're nice people. I mean, they've helped me a lot, even if they can be more than a bit unpleasant at times…"

Helped, huh? I wasn't really in the mood for hearing that particular backstory, so I let it go. I didn't want the Literary Club snooping around in my business, so the best way to avoid that would be to extend them the same courtesy. It didn't matter that part of me was curious, though. I mean, really, those two weirdoes being helpful?

Excuse me if I don't believe it.

"Let's try and get a little bit more groundwork out of the way in the morning, then we can start to make some decisions over lunch," Nase said. She turned on her faucet, effectively rinsing herself off. "If we set up the table properly, we should limit the number of distractions. If worse comes to worse, we can temporarily split up." Good, she had noticed our fundamental problem, too. That made things easier.

"I can't believe that Hiroomi-senpai and Senpai just talked like that the whole time," Kuriyama complained, a small pout on her lips. I wondered if her annoyed expression would have set of Kanbara's fetish triggers if the girl were wearing her glasses. "They're so unpleasant!"

I made a small hum in agreement, starting to wash myself off. Nase headed to soak in the bath, and even though Kuriyama had started after me, she followed our club president before I even reached for the spray nozzle. I was moving slower than I usually did. Had the day really taken that much out of me? Forcing myself out of my lazy autopilot, I rinsed myself off, almost missing a trail of soap on my leg.

I stood up. Kuriyama and Nase were chattering in the bath, but I wasn't registering any of it. It wasn't even that late, but I needed to sleep. I'd have to skip a soak for the night. Trying my best not to trip due to my less than spectacular depth perception without my glasses, I managed to secure a towel and start to dry off.

"Eh, you're not coming in, Senpai?" Kuriyama asked. I shook my head, digging around for my pajamas. "Oh, that's too bad…"

The note of sadness in Kuriyama's voice wasn't lost on me, and it hit the mark of making me feel bad. She had probably been looking forward to a group bath as part of her sleepover experience. Regardless, I was halfway dressed already, so it would have to wait for another time.

Wait, another time? Oh, I hoped to all hell there weren't going to be too many more Literary Club meetings like this. I'd sleep for a week, and then my homework situation wouldn't be able to be recovered even with a miracle.

"Sorry, Kuriyama-san," I said. "I really gotta get some sleep. I gotta be ready to kick those stupid boys into shape tomorrow, anyway." Finally secure in my pajamas, I left the bathroom before Kuriyama or Nase could say anything.

At this point I could care less about the next day's meeting, but it was as good as an excuse as any.

g

I counted the doors down the hallway to get into Nase's room, which I had been shown earlier. Just like everything else in this goddamn mansion, it was huge. My bags had already been moved there by the staff, and from the light coming into the room from the hall, they had already set out futons for us as well. There were only two by the looks of it, so Nase would probably be sleeping in her bed, but as long as I could crash, I didn't see any reason to complain.

The light from the hall was enough, so I didn't bother to find the light switch. I did my best to memorize the layout, then closed the door behind me, stumbling towards the futon closest to the wall. My feet eventually pressed against blankets instead of carpet, so I settled in, almost falling into the blankets.

I just barely remembered to take my glasses off before I passed out.

h

It was warmer than I had expected when I woke up, but it wasn't bad, either. In fact it was comfortable, a steady warmth coming into my body from my shoulder, which was odd, but I wasn't going to complain. I couldn't even really count the state I was in as being awake since I could easily doze off the next instant.

If it weren't for the part where my point of warmth was shaking me.

"Sugiyama-san." –san? No one had called me that in years, save for my teachers, and I could say with some sort of certainty that none of them were present. Sure, Ishikawa-sensei had pestered me, but never outside of school, and definitely not on the weekends. "Sugiyama-san, you need to get up."

"What for?" I grumbled, reluctantly sitting up. I had to blink my eyes a few times, too, attempting to adjust to the light. Ugh, I had said that I needed to sleep, so why would anyone do that? Light was the best stimulus to wake up the human body. I knew Nase wasn't exactly the epitome of kindness, but still, this was a little too much for me.

The voice addressing me chuckled, and I realized that it was male several seconds far too late. Nothing as cliché as my heart stopping happened, but I could definitely feel myself start to panic. I took the last few blinks necessary to clear my vision, only to see Nase Hiroomi leaning over me, close enough that I didn't need my glasses to see him clearly.

"Sorry to wake you up," he said, dressed in pajamas and that stupidly adorable scarf still around his neck. "It's just that Mitsuki's room is across the hall, and I figured you'd rather be there instead of here."

Mitsuki's room. Meaning that this wasn't it. I wanted to punch myself. I had counted the doors right, but gotten the side of the hall wrong. And if Hiroomi was the one waking me up, that meant that this was more than likely his room.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered. I looked around trying to readjust to my surroundings. Kanbara was sitting on the floor on the opposite side of the room, probably watching. Just what I needed. Moving on, I finally locked eyes with the door, as blurry as it was, and bolted for it, not even letting out an apology.

It only took a few seconds for me to cross the door, and I slammed the door behind me, far too out of breath for just a short sprint. Nase's room was dark, but there weren't any shouts or complaints, so I guessed that the girls were either heavy sleepers or not back from the bath yet. I still didn't bother with the light switch, stumbling across the room and almost tripping over the table in the middle of the floor before I found the line of futons.

This time, I fell face first into the pillow, keeping my face buried there until I had to gasp for a breath, resetting my lungs. A few deep breaths later and I could feel my heart slow down, and I did my best to tuck myself into the blankets. They were missing any built up body heat that my previous futon had, but the blankets weren't any different, just as comfortable as the last. I tried to count numbers to shut my brain back down, but I wasn't getting anywhere. Something about being in the room alone was really throwing me off, as was the absence of warmth from Hiroomi's hand on my shoulder.

The room was pitch dark, and my eyes weren't adjusting anytime soon, so attempting to look up at the ceiling made it seem like Nase's room just went on forever, even if I knew that wasn't true.

Catharsis

THIRD

It suddenly felt like too much space for me.

What's this? An actually on time update? Blasphemy.

But thanks to shirokitty, Cloe Gryffindor, and NightlyRowenTree for your favorites and reviews. I'm glad to see that people are enjoying this story, even though it's just a giant experiment. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

I'm actually in the middle of finishing up Camp NaNoWriMo right now (and I pulled an all-nighter), so my brain's not quite up to a full detailed author's note. Still, I enjoyed building this scenario, and trying to play on it the least cliche way possible... Lemme know how I did!

I currently don't have an estimate for the next update.

Next: FOURTH

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