Catharsis

By: Aviantei

a

Homework and I had never gotten along. Back in the good old elementary school days, I was that kid who hated school because they just wanted to laze about all the time. Middle school hit, and in that time I realized that homework took away from my writing time, so it was a constant source of bickering between me and my mother. And since being in the prep course was my mother's nonnegotiable condition for funding my high school days out of the prefecture, homework and I had come to an agreement that, while neither of us liked dealing with each other, it was a necessary evil.

My third year of high school, we had gone back to the plain "just don't wanna" phase. Almost prophetic, my elementary school days were, huh?

Putting that aside, after I wasted a good few hours on my blog and making dinner, I did manage to plow through the rest of my homework. Near the end my effort was pretty shoddy, and I did lose a few hours of otherwise precious sleep, but the damn work was done and submitted on time, so none of my teachers raised a complaint. Turning in my assignments on time: that had been the deal.

It was a good thing my improved performance was enough of a shock or something, because no one even gave me shit for dozing off a couple of times in my morning lectures. If I just kept myself in line, there wouldn't be the impending doom of my upset parents waiting for me.

Good enough for me.

b

"Stand. Bow."

I had been so spaced out that I hadn't even noticed we made it to the end of the lecture. I scrambled to my feet, knocking my chair into the desk behind me, and tried to bow in sync with the rest of the classroom. Sleep had been tugging at my eyes all day, but there was something about that last hour of classes where every minute dragged across the clock that just made you want to give up on functioning. There was sunshine waiting outside, the promise of another nice May afternoon.

Or, it did for other students. For me it just meant the next episode in the Literary Club saga.

I slumped back down into my desk the moment I could and got to packing my things up. My homework may have been done, but I'd lost out on my anthology time because of it. Sure, we hadn't set up any major checkpoints to reach at our next meeting, but the end of the trimester was looming closer, and we really didn't have time to spare.

"Are you feeling alright, Sugiyama-san?" Hiroomi asked, appearing at my desk side. I gave him a perfunctory nod and collected the various pens I'd strewn over my desk in an attempt to keep alert during classes. It hadn't worked. "You seemed a bit…distracted today."

That was a rather nice way of saying that I'd almost slammed my head into my desk a few times as I nodded off. Then again, he hadn't even scolded me for spewing fruit punch over him the day before, so maybe politeness was just part of a rich kid's upbringing. Either that or Hiroomi was compensating for Nase's total lack of tact. Both seemed likely.

"I was just up a bit later than I expected last night." Not wanting to show weakness, I blinked my eyes a few times before dumping the rest of my notebooks into my bag and stood, tossing my bag over my shoulder. "Some guy decided he needed to take me out to eat yesterday, and it cut into my already cramped schedule." If a schedule could be cramped with the latent desire to do absolute jack shit. I shrugged with a smile. "I dumped my drink on him. Hopefully he learned his lesson."

I surveyed Hiroomi's clothes for any trace of a stain, but none were forthcoming. He had changed his scarf out for the day, though. I didn't think I'd seen him wear the same one twice. Hiroomi chuckled, keeping up his ridiculous unruffled vibe. If it weren't for his sister complex, he could be a pretty popular guy.

"I'm sure he learned plenty, though it may not have been the lesson you were aiming for," Hiroomi said, with an amused lilt I just didn't like the implications of. More of his fortune teller BS? Heat curled up my neck as I remembered the whole thing seemed like a fishy setup for flirting with me. At least I could blame it on the unnecessary heat building up from my winter uniform. "Still, are you ready to go? Mitsuki was talking like she had important plans for today, so we shouldn't be late."

"That's not like you to care about such things," said I, the Truant Queen of the Prep Class (though no longer if I could help it). "Though if you were worried about being late, you didn't have to come and wait on me."

Hiroomi raised an eyebrow, though the show of confusion didn't reach that smile of his. Hovering right above the line of his scarf, it was a nice smile. "I seem to remember being ordered that I wasn't supposed to leave without you escorting me, Sugiyama-san."

Ah, hell, I had said something like that? Maybe if I was lucky this would turn into one of those red herring series—y'know, the ones that look like cute high school slice of life crap then by the end of the series everyone's dead, there's blood everywhere, and you, as the viewer, can't sleep well for a week straight afterwards from the psychological impact.

"I'm more surprised that you actually take me seriously." I was almost missing Nase's unimpressed attitude with me. Good thing we were heading to club today. I could get my external depreciation in spades. "Whatever, your poor life decisions are yours to make. Let's just get going. This damn anthology isn't going to get done any faster if forty percent of the membership is missing."

I went to start walking, but Hiroomi was right in the way of the easiest way out, and he wasn't moving. I could've taken the long way around, but something in his gaze stopped me. He watched me with those almost olive colored eyes of his, holding all the serenity he'd possessed while "reading my fortune" the day before.

Unnerved, I jammed my hands into my pockets, as far away from him as I could get without outright backing away. I scowled. "You planning on moving or what?"

Hiroomi blinked, his near trance-like state broken. "Sorry." He stepped closer to the line of desks, gesturing me forward on the path he'd made. "Ladies first," he said.

I, for one, thought chivalry was complete drivel, but I dodged around him anyway, too concerned with his gaze to worry about if anyone else in the still chattering classroom had been watching.

c

It was a goddamn miracle that we all arrived to the club meeting on time.

It also seemed that everyone was just as stunned about this outcome as everyone else.

Hiroomi and I had arrived after Nase and Kanbara (the latter of which's ear seemed red, like Nase had dragged him along by force), the duo already setting up stack after stack of anthologies on the table. Kuriyama made her way in as Hiroomi and I got settled, though the stacks of books just kept increasing. Sure, there were multiple copies of each issue to accommodate our full-fledged membership of five (in some schools, we wouldn't have been able to form an official club until this point), but it was still an intimidating stack of reading material, even for me. Kuriyama looked like she might faint.

"Um, Senpai?" she said, trying to peek around the pile of anthologies before her to even get a glimpse at Nase. "Just what are all of these?"

I had gotten the displeasure of being seated right beside Nase, but it was one of the few arrangements that kept Hiroomi and Kanbara from blabbering at each other. Since I hadn't been volunteered to be in the middle of their idiocy, I could take it. Nase ducked down to reach into her bag, pulled out a box of pocky, and popped one of the snack sticks into her mouth. "These are the anthologies we have yet to review."

A collective mix of gloom and groans washed over the table. In the past week, we had made decent progress, but this was still a tough order to fill. Club activities plus being a good prep course student plus my own layabout tendencies was intimidating enough, and if we didn't have the anthology finished before exams, we'd have the added pressure of publication on top of studying.

I was not the only one that wanted to avoid such an outcome.

"Are we gonna be able to get through all of this?" Kanbara asked from my other side. He poked at the stack of anthologies closest to him, running his finger across the spines. I stared down the pile in front of me, which had at least six five different individual volumes in it. There were seven similar looking stacks on the table. "Sheesh, I know this is the fiftieth addition, but I thought we'd gone through more than this so far. There's no way we'll be able to read all of this."

I had to agree. Since they were thin, I could sink my way through the remaining thirty-or-so of these in that timeframe, but the others were another story. Based on the pace everyone had taken at our weekend meeting, Nase and I had the fastest reading speeds. It was hard to get an accurate read on Hiroomi and Kanbara since they had spent the whole time acting like idiots, and Kuriyama had a leisure-reading approach that worked just fine, but left a lot of speed concerns.

Still, when you did the math…

"It's almost the end of May," I said. "We got through about ten of these suckers last week. If you'd started on this from the beginning of the school year, even with your membership size, you guys could've almost been done by now." And without me, no less. Personal bitterness level increasing. "Just what the hell were you guys doing with your time?"

The next silence that fell was a bit different than our collective stunned quiet at staring down the work we had left to do. It was awkward enough that even I felt it. Kuriyama seemed to mutter something I couldn't quite hear. I opened my mouth to see if I could pry anything out of her (even though it was mean to think, she was an easy target), but Hiroomi cleared his throat first.

"More importantly, what are we going to be doing with our time moving forward?" he asked. Since there was a stack of books separating my view from him, I willed my glare to go through it instead. They were all friends, and I was just the forced-upon outsider; what did it matter if they kept secrets from me? Knowing these guys, no one wanted to just admit they'd been slacking on recruiting new writing and had made the anthology a collection because they thought it would be easier. Hiroomi's hand popped up over the top of one of the stacks and slipped a book from the top. The sound of rustling pages followed. "Even if we keep up our current work pace, we're going to be on a tight schedule."

Nase snapped the end off of her latest pocky stick. "This wouldn't be an issue if our whole proper membership showed up on a regular basis," she said. "That includes you, Aniki."

"Apologies, my darling sister, but I had other concerns to attend to. If I'd had my way, I would have gladly spent every day after school in your lovely presence, you know that!"

I wish I didn't know it, Nase's deadpan stare said without her having to say anything at all. "If we just needed to select pieces by that time, we might not have much of an issue. But there's another issue we need to concern ourselves with."

"T-there is?" Kuriyama asked, the tremble of concern and relief adding a bit more of a stutter to her words than normal.

"Yes. Everyone, flip through the opening pages of an anthology. It doesn't matter which one."

Hiroomi, who already had a book in his hands was able to do so first. The rest of us did as instructed, and Kanbara hummed a bit as he skimmed over the pages with an intensity reserved for cracking codes (it stands to note this paled in comparison to his trademarked Megane Appreciation Stare). I focused on my own anthology. Given that it was over a decade old, the formatting looked like it had come off of a typewriter rather than a computer, but that wasn't much of an issue. As to be expected, the first pages were a short table of contents, not even covering both sides of a single sheet of paper.

It was what came after that that Nase was getting at.

"An introduction," I said, letting my anthology flop closed in disgust.

"Yes," Nase said, snacking away. I slumped into my seat. Kuriyama let out a sigh of admiration, while Kanbara still stared at his book, brow crinkled. "As is tradition, our anthology should have an introduction page. Since this is an anniversary collection of sorts, it would be a shame to break it." I wondered if I jockeyed for Ishikawa's favor we could scrap the mess. Remembering how he'd lectured me the day before, I doubted it. "Normally, we'd reflect on our club activities and the pieces we've written, but this is a bit different since we're pulling from past years. As a fiftieth anniversary edition, it should be something special as well."

With that bombshell dropped, Nase didn't say more. She didn't lean back in her chair to see what would happen, but I got that metaphorical impression if nothing else. Sleep still clinging to the corners of my eyes, I wondered if it'd be worth it to steal some pocky for a sugar boost. Yeah, that one was gonna be a no.

"Well," Kuriyama said, raising her voice when no one else did, "I don't know about the other books, but in this one it looks like the president wrote the introduction. Doesn't that mean you, Senpai?"

Good work, Kuriyama-chan! It wasn't as snarky as I would have worded it, but it was the same as I was thinking: that Nase should put the effort forward. It was just pathetic, watching her try to shirk off her duty onto someone else.

"While that's a good point, that doesn't have to be the case." Nase surveyed the anthologies, finding the one she was looking for. She cracked it open and displayed the introduction page for us to see. She had to stretch it overhead for us all to get a good look at it, but it did well enough. I was just impressed the table was still standing. "For example, for the tenth club anniversary edition, they had a founding member alumnus write the introduction for them."

I raised an eyebrow. "You wanna call in an old member like that?" Sure, I'd noticed through the publication dates that the Literary Club was about sixteen years old, so it wasn't like we had to worry about a potential guest writer being dead or anything, but it seemed a pain to hassle someone over our own half-assed work. I wouldn't want to be bothered for a dumb reason like that.

Nase pointed her latest pocky stick at me with an expression of near blank disapproval. "I was simply proving that there are exceptions to the rule." Not willing to wait on her snack at further, into Nase's mouth the pocky went. "I was thinking that since this is a highlighting addition, we should have someone who has a great level of technical skill write about why these pieces are the best that the past fifty editions have had to offer."

I had known where that was going to moment she started elaborating, but Nase's gaze landing on me all but confirmed my suspicions. I didn't know what I did to earn her ire, but I wasn't appreciating it in the slightest. Hell, all getting put on Nase's shit list did for her was further cement her place on mine.

"Ooh," Kanbara said. "Oh, oh yeah, that could totally work." He laughed like a pervert. That is, to say, Kanbara laughed. "The studious bookworm with a keen eye for the finer parts of storytelling. That sort of image is perfect. You're the Ultimate Megane, Sugiyama-senpai! But don't fret, Mirai-chan, I still adore you as well. No sort of upperclassman beauty will take away from your unique charm!"

"How unpleasant!" Kuriyama shouted at the same time I muttered it under my breath. There was a thud, which seemed to imply that she'd kicked Kanbara beneath the table. With a huff, Kuriyama's voice evened out. "But I do think it's a good idea. Sugiyama-senpai, you've been a great help with making us understand how to critically read fiction. I wouldn't have gotten so far if it weren't for you. I'm sure you could write us an amazing introduction."

I should have somehow become a bit more immune to the constant slathering of admiration after two weeks with the Literary Club, but all Kuriyama's words did was just make me feel more sick. Kanbara's enthusiastic nods didn't help either. "I'd really rather—" I tried.

"Come on!" Kanbara whined, almost shoving himself into my face again. I scooted back my chair to avoid head-on Megane Otaku collision. "You're perfect for the job, Sugiyama-senpai. Besides, it's your third year. Don't you wanna leave some impact on the club before you go?"

It had been quite a while since such a simple question had made me feel so sick. Screw this nonsense, screw what Ishikawa would say. Forgetting about the whole mess would be easier.

The sound of Hiroomi clearing his throat drifted over the top of the stack of books. A rainbow of colored spines had never seemed so intimidating before. "Don't you think we're getting ahead of ourselves?" he asked. Kanbara backed into his chair to sit like a normal person. "We can't very well assign someone to write an introduction when we don't even have a complete anthology to write it for. You should know better, Mitsuki."

The way Nase directed her gaze to the ceiling gave the impression she was avoiding her brother's expression. I pressed against the back of my seat, trying to find a clever way to describe the unease forming in my stomach for later use in a story, but no words came to mind. "I suppose that's right," Nase relented, and I sighed in relief. "Then we need to decide on a strategy for dealing with this."

"Well we either need to up our reading speed or change our approach," I said, more than happy to take the redirection of the topic and run with it into the damn hills. I thumbed at the stack in front of me. "How many more anthologies do we need to read?"

"There are thirty-two of these, when you take out the twenty-fifth edition, which had a similar premise to ours."

"And they're all damn heavy," Kanbara groaned. Sure enough, he had done most of the heavy lifting of assembling books when we first came in. Nase had just been giving directions. Why were they friends again? "I mean, I don't think I can read any faster than I am right now, not without getting sloppy."

I caught the flash of Kuriyama's red hair around the books. At my best guess, she seemed to be nodding in approval. "As unpleasant as it is to admit, I can't go much faster, either." It was all too easy to picture her fidgeting on the other side. Kanbara perked up enough, trying to sneak the best peek he could at her.

"I figured as much," I said. Then I stood, slapping a palm into the books before me. With the boost in height, it was easy to notice everyone's gaze on me. "Well, I can up my reading speed a bit, but that's not rational for everyone. So we'll have to adjust a bit." I sucked in a deep breath. This was stupid, but if I took on more work in this regard, I could leverage myself into better territory to stay the hell away from the anthology introduction. "If you're all willing to trust me, I'd like to split up the anthologies amongst everyone, then I can narrow down your top picks into something more digestible for the group to finish in time. How does that sound?"

I shot a look to Nase first. I had expected her usual unimpressed glower at my antics, and it wasn't that she looked in awe like the others or anything. But there was a moment where surprise flashed through her red eyes, before she caught herself. "If you think you can handle it," she said, before giving her attention back to her pocky where it belonged.

"Wow, Senpai's amazing," Kuriyama said. I should've known that the stunt would just get me more admiration, but it would be worth it. Maybe. I hoped so.

"I'll say!" Kanbara put a hand to his chin and nodded. "My pace or not, when she gets fired up, she's good to go. Sugiyama-senpai, the Lazy-Hardworking Megane Switch! I love it!"

That's Truant Queen of the Prep Class to you, dammit, I refused to say out loud.

Hiroomi was smiling as well, though he seemed more satisfied with the outcome more than just my taking control of the situation. "Well, I have every faith in Sugiyama-san's abilities," he said, bringing the impromptu vote to a landslide in my favor. "Like my dearest sister said, if you're sure you can handle the responsibility, then we'll trust you." Something about the encouragement made my earlier discomfort start to fade a bit.

So I leaned across the table and grabbed onto both ends of Hiroomi's scarf, tightening the wrap around his neck. "Thanks. But if you even think about slacking off on me, I will make your classroom experience a living hell." There was a scrape of a chair next to me, and I managed to shoot out my foot just in time to make Kanbara stumble in his poor escape attempt. "Same for you, Kanbara. I do own contacts, you know."

Kanbara fell back into his seat with an overdramatic gasp. "No, anything but contacts! A scourge against mankind!"

Nase stood up, not even making a move to stop me from strangling her brother or best friend. "I'll give you a few minutes to knock them into shape, Sugiyama. We'll start tallying out the remaining anthologies when we're done."

I hummed a vague sound of agreement. Kuriyama excused herself from the table, not even giving the boys a second glance, and went to tend to her bonsai.

d

The rest of our meeting was spent between divvying out the anthologies across us, then getting to work on our reading. Once everyone had their par for the next few weeks and the boys had cleared the extra books off the table so we had room to work (Kanbara griping for being shoved into hard labor again), we settled down into personal reading time. It was the sort of event that might be more enjoyable if it hadn't been for a deadline, but overall it was peaceful.

Hiroomi and Kanbara were pretty diligent after my scolding, though on occasion they traded off nonsensical opinions as a form of break. Kuriyama zoned in on her anthologies, and every now and then a giggle or a sniffle would slip out in reaction. Nase ignored us all with earbuds tucked in her ears, tearing through what seemed to be an even ratio with each anthology she worked her way through. I got into my best speed reading mentality I could, making short hand notes as I went.

All in all, it was a pretty productive meeting, and I was kind of surprised of what we could accomplish when we weren't acting like idiots.

It was almost like we were a real club or something.

I took in a breath through my nose and focused on the task ahead.

e

A few hours later, when Nase called an end to the meeting, I had read through enough anthologies that even the thought of looking at kanji made my head spin, though I would keep going in a heartbeat. There was something almost cleansing about reading so much, even if half of the anthology entries made me want to tear my hair out at times.

Should someone who couldn't write anything to save her life be so critical of others who were brave enough to put words to the page? Maybe not, but hypocrisy seemed to be growing on me lately.

"Man," Kanbara said, stretching his arms above his head. "My shoulders are stiff. These chairs suck."

"It's because your posture is so awful, Senpai," Kuriyama said with a frown. On her face a frown looked like a pout at best, though. "If you didn't slouch so bad, your body wouldn't tense up like that."

"Whoa, even when you get in trouble with them, a girl with glasses really does make everything better. It's a miracle, a miracle, I say! My shoulders have never been so limber."

"Senpai, if you keep that up, you're going to knock everything off the table!"

Dodging out of the way of Kanbara's sudden flailing about, I started on packing up my own bag. While everyone else had one or two anthologies heading home with them, being the one with the biggest workload, I was trying to see just how much I could shove into my bag without it bursting. School bags were nice and sturdy, but that didn't mean they could always fit everything you needed.

"Well, I'm glad we've at least got a plan of action that works for everyone," Hiroomi said. He closed up his own bag and adjusted the rumpled ends of his scarf. I was sorry for wrinkling it, but not much else. Not that wrinkles took away from the appeal factor. "Ah, Mitsuki, you're leaving already? What about locking up?"

"Akihiko's Vice President. He can handle that much." Her straight black hair fluttering with the movement, Nase strode towards the door. "I have a test to study for, so I don't want to stay out late." Since they were in the same year, didn't that mean Kanbara had the same test to study for? "Try not to die on your way home, Aniki."

Without so much as a glance back, Nase slid the club door shut. "That girl…" I said, then decided it wouldn't be the best move to insult someone when their brother with a sister complex was within earshot. I didn't want to start that eruption. Not when Nase's words had reminded me of something. "Ah, Nase-kun?"

"Hm?" Hiroomi had been looking at the door (by this I mean he looked ready to run after his sister at breakneck speed), but he came to proper attention soon enough. "In case you forgot, Sugiyama-san, you also forbid me from walking you home again." That was enough to make Kanbara and Kuriyama pause in their comedy routine, but I just rolled my eyes.

"Well I thought with your 'fortune telling' you'd be able to guess something a bit more logical than that. I actually have a different favor to ask," I said. Pausing in loading more books into my bag, I instead pulled out a notebook and a pen. Kanbara inched closer to the conversation, and Kuriyama hesitated a moment before following. "I kinda spaced out a bit during class today. Can you lemme check your notes so I don't forget any homework?" Being responsible was exhausting, but having just a one-day record of being punctual was just kinda pathetic.

Hiroomi blinked a moment, his surprised expression highlighting the similarity between him and his sister. The scarf undeniably made him the cuter of the two, though. "Sure thing, Sugiyama-san."

"Man, that's it?" Kanbara asked. He sighed, leaning way too much against my shoulder. "You two are boring. I thought we were gonna have some real club drama here."

"We've had enough drama to last us for the year, Senpai," Kuriyama said. "You're being unpleasant again." Her cheeks were flushed red, though. Based on her story suggestions, Kuriyama liked a good love story. I refused to go that route.

"Contacts. I mean it," I said, shoving Kanbara off and almost tripping over his chair. He caught sight of the key Nase had left for him and slumped further. "We'll get this taken care of quickly, so you guys won't be stuck long. I just need the assignments and I'll take care of the rest at home."

Hiroomi's handwriting was pretty neat, even in his notes. They say that your handwriting for personal use says a lot about a person (at least, that sounds like something people would say), so I kept my own weak-willed scribbles under wraps and flipped to a new page before copying down the homework in my best script. It wasn't a lot, but if I overdid it on reading anthologies, I'd never get anything done.

It's this or getting in trouble with Mom and Dad. Eyes on the prize.

"Thanks a bunch," I said when I was done. Then I made my exit before anyone could even suggest we all left together.

f

The walk home wasn't the bad part. Movement was an easy enough distraction. I even stopped by the convenience store to pick up some extra items for dinner. Being in a public place was enough to keep my thoughts occupied.

Getting home was another story.

I didn't care about the dumb workload anymore. I wasn't invested in the anthology by a long shot, but it was going to have the Literary Club name on it, and, by extension, my membership meant I was responsible for it. And I wasn't about to let something I was responsible for turn out awful when it involved writing. Schoolwork was manageable, too, and I could put up with anything for a prolonged peaceful existence.

But the stupid way Kanbara and Kuriyama admired me picked up all my insecurities and twisted them through my guts. Hiroomi's encouragement made it worse. Even Nase, who's dismissive attitude tended to keep me in my place, wasn't as effective as usual.

"If everything they said was true I'd have a name for myself already. I'm not impressive enough for all that."

Catharsis

SIXTH

I'm really not.

[Author's Notes]

Hey, there, how's everyone handling the new year? I hope you're all well! Let's get things kicked off with the latest installment of Catharsis!

Infinite amounts of thanks go out to waranaudrey, NightlyRowenTree, ibeanzzz, 4orra, chiyouki, cappie14, Kpooper, en2michelle, CassieThrone, Meta-Akira, Titosch, makenzie2000, Iris Maya, Darki1905, PaperWorld, KookierThanFiction, TheWinglessAngelOfHell, and Igheallnation for all the favorites, follows, and reviews since chapter five! You really are to good to me. Hopefully this latest update doesn't disappoint!

Things are slowly building up amongst our group, little by little. And if all goes as planned, I'll have more chapters for you guys in the coming year, so please look forward to it!

-Avi

[12.30.2018]