hey hi friends! again, sorry with the delay!

kinda a short one this time. soooooo sorry! might come back and add more but not sure yet. again y'all know I'm not one to like, proofread or even go back lmao

enjoy :)

-endless

a million dreams

I can't move.

My body refuses to function. The air turning my blood to ice clearly only hangs over my head, and though I can't see anyone, I know they're all arguing. They're probably arguing about me - why they're here, why I'm here, what I've done to land all of us here. They're probably wishing I was fucking dead. Through squinted eyes, I see each one of them standing rigid, like they're about to enter a war.

My baby brother faces my older brother, and I'm terrified at the anger in Ponyboy's eyes. The raging fire that is expolding around the room, covering everyone in flames, doesn't melt the ice from my skin. All I wanna do is go to him, dragging Darry's ass with me, and leave. All I wanna do is will my body to move, to turn, to stand so that I can get the fuck out of here.

"You know how much he means to me." Fuck. Pony never gets pissed, but he's fuming.

"He's not your only brother" - put Darry in that "doesn't really get pissed but is right now" bubble. I feel him move, feel him get to his feet, and my brain screams at my arm to move, and thank God my body actually follows the instructions. I snatch Darry's pant leg and hold him there, and I feel the push back from his step forward, and then he just stands there. "And last time I checked, you've been the one to build a wall around the two of you. This is the one time I've been able to be alone with him since he woke up."

I mentally shrug in agreement just as Pony hisses, "And look where it got you. Where it got him."

And then I feel it. I feel something launching up my chest, clawing towards my windpipe. There's a rabid choking noise that splits the air as I try to get onto my stomach, onto my back, or just onto any other fucking position, but it's too fucking late. The thickness reaches my mouth and I throw myself away from Darry. I grimace as my white pillow turns into a black pit, and specks of red rush down the porcelain white wall in front of me.

One body turns into three in a split second. The ice on my skin thickens when they touch me, fully rolling me on my stomach. I know their minds aren't sure how to react and completely faded as far as a solution. I can feel Steve and Two-Bit just staring at me, disgustingly shocked, while Darry's hand rests on the small of my back.

"You're okay," I can barely make out the words that come out of Darry's mouth. "You're okay, Soda. Just breathe."

"Yeah man," Two-But says ruggedly. I smile inwardly, knowing that he's attempting not to gag as more blood is leaving me. "Just, uh..."

Steve's voice is a little more stable as he says, "Just relax. Let it happen."

"Let it happen," Darry repeats, then changes to the authority figure. "Get the doctor, Two-Bit." When Two-Bit doesn't move an inch, I feel the air shift as Darry turns and shoves him in the direction of the door. "Move, Two!"

Two-Bit is roused by nearly slipping in the blood - my blood - on the floor and bolts. If it weren't for this exhausting effort, this tightening in my chest, I would've happily laughed until I was blue in the face. I hear him throw something over his shoulder, and finally, Ponyboy stands between Steve and Darry. I can feel his eyes staring directly at my pillow, and then my hospital gown, and then directly at my face. His anger with Darry still crackles like lightning between them, but Darry pulls Ponyboy close to his side.

I seize the opportunity and tilt my head so I can see them. Blood is caked over my face and they force themselves not to show their disgust, and I smile at their effort. I'd give them a gold star; an "A for effort."

Why the hell do I always want attention? I try and throw that message into their minds, but nothing sticks, just as I predicted. I feel my lungs filling with blood, and I debate just letting it drown me, but I know I can't do that. I'd ruin them if I did.

So I settle on the next best thing: groaning and doubling in on myself just as the doors launch open and I hear people yelling something about a "code blue."