Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, nor do I own Harry Potter. All ideas are my own.
Confusion spreads through me, clouding my judgement. I'm unable to solve the puzzles that this letter has presented me with. Numerous questions dance about in my brain: why does she think me and Malfoy are going to be connected? Why was it so important to write this when she was dying? How did she know that me and Malfoy had just had a huge row?
I would understand if I knew Astoria Malfoy well, but I didn't. The first time we ever met was this year at the station, but I remember seeing a glint in her eyes that I couldn't quite place. Maybe this letter is my answer to it. I was hoping that my confusion would be answered by the letter, as she said it is here to give me whatever I need, and right now I need advice, but I didn't see the loopy handwriting appear on the page no matter how much I wished it would be there. It must be to do with Malfoy then, the letter will only respond to me when I have been involved in something with him.
I feel very much tempted to go and row with Malfoy all over again just so the letter might say something again, but I have a feeling the letter would know I was trying to trick it into responding. I also doubt very much that Malfoy wants to see me right now, judging by the way he stormed off during detention.
These thoughts consume me all day, practically eating me alive. I can't tell Malfoy about the contents of the letter now, there is no way he'll ever believe me. He'll think I'm making it up and am just messing with him, and I'll end up making him mad, he'll make me angry and we will argue all over again.
No, I have a feeling that Malfoy and I won't be talking for a while, well at least until our next detention, and to be honest, I'm glad. The last thing on Earth I want to do right now is have a conversation with Scorpius Malfoy, the very idea of it lights a flame that courses through my veins.
And regardless of our argument, I can't actually show Malfoy the letter for proof anyway, as the writing disappears when any pair of eyes other than mine look at it. I know because I asked Alice about it, and she thought I was going crazy.
"It's blank Rose. Are you sure you're getting enough sleep? Seeing things isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world", she asks kindly.
She's been low recently, feeling sad for Albus. It's as if she feels his emotions: he is sad and therefore so is she, like proper soulmates. It also must be particularly hard to see the guy you like be heartbroken over a girl who isn't you.
I hope it works out for them in the end, I really do, I can't think of a better potential couple. One day Al will realise what's in front of him, I'm sure of it, after all, it took my parents 7 years of friendship before they decided to act upon it.
Trudging across the muddy Quidditch pitch, which is the first time I've dragged myself out of bed pretty much all day, I meet Astrid, who, to my surprise, is without Ciara. Before I even begin to wonder where the latter is however, I look to my right and see my cousin with his hands all over her.
They're snogging like it's the last thing they'll ever do, and I quickly look away before the image is burned in my head forever.
I am happy for them, of course, I don't know how many times I need to say it, but I'd rather not see my cousin touching up one of my good mates if I can help it.
Luckily for me, Fred throws the snitch at James head, breaking him out of his reverie.
"OW you dickhead. What the fuck was that for?", James asks angrily. He is flushed, and trying to catch his breath. If it weren't for Fred breaking them up, it appeared as if they were gonna start shagging on the pitch.
Ciara is blushing furiously, but when she catches my eyes starts giggling. I break into a fit of laughter too, I just can't help myself, no matter how awkward it is, it's still a funny situation to be caught in.
Still giggling, I turn around, hearing soft squelches of people wading through the mud behind me. I expect to see Lucas and Roxanne arriving to practise, but, instead, I am faced with Nott, Zabini, and Malfoy.
Brilliant, that immediately puts me back in a shitty mood. I literally spent my morning skiving lessons in order to miss seeing Malfoy, only to bump into him later this afternoon. Well, what a waste of learning that was.
"What's so funny Weasley?, Nott sneers, clearly still fuming over recent events.
I ignore him, not even bothering to spare him a glance, and look over his shoulder, searching desperately for Al.
I haven't spoken to him properly since he told me what happened. Truth be told, I've been too wrapped up in my own business, which I know sounds really selfish, but I'll make sure to really catch up with him over this weekend, after Hogsmeade of course.
To no surprise, he isn't there. Benji is in his place, a reserve chaser on the team, and is stood looking very uncomfortable. I'm not surprised, he is very close with Al.
"Oi Weasley", he starts again, shoving my shoulder, "I asked you a question."
"Ask someone who cares Nott", I respond boldly.
Unlike the other day, when I was pinned against the wall, I don't feel fear. I know I'm in the safety of the Quidditch pitch, surrounded by my friends and family, and cannot come to any harm with them by my side.
"Mateo, lay off it", Malfoy starts gently, deliberately ignoring my tentative gaze while placing his hand on Nott's shoulder.
Relief washes over me, as well as surprise, Malfoy isn't going to join in too. Clearly he wants to forget about yesterday as much as me, and is happy to let bygones be bygones.
"She isn't worth it", he suddenly says, "Don't waste your breath on someone as pathetic as her"
That stings. An unfamiliar sensation stabs at my heart, which I desperately try to brush off, but I can't. But the feeling only continues to grow, coursing through my body, until I feel myself slightly lose my balance.
A firm hand grabs my back, and steadies me.
"Watch it Malfoy. Keep talking like that and I'll make sure you regret it."
"Ooooo I'm scared Potter."
James has come up behind me, saving me as if I'm a damsel in distress. I know he's only trying to help, and that it's for a good reason, but I'd like to believe I can handle myself in a situation. And sometimes I wish I could prove it.
Both boys are glaring at each other now, chests heaving. Fred and Lucas have gathered around James now, so it's one trio versus another. Before it escalates, I decide to step in between them. Looking back on it now, it was a stupid idea, getting between 6 boys about to rip into each other, but I did it anyway. I'm just lucky that this time the situation was much calmer.
"Drop it James. Come on, we've got a match to prepare for".
I try to drag him away, but he shrugs me off, adamant that he's staying where he is.
"Don't Rose, Malfoy doesn't get to talk to you like that and get away with it."
Malfoy is silent, glaring at James, refusing to meet my eyes once again. Although he has managed to insult me, he still won't look at me.
They're both stood goading each other on, eyes asking the question of who dares throw the first punch.
"Back off Potter", Nott interrupts, "I've already put one Potter brother in his place, and who says I won't do it again."
And there we have it, the straw that broke the camel's back.
James lunges forward, knocking the air out of Nott. They roll around on the floor for a bit, one desperately trying to hit the other. As bad as this sounds, they look like children having a tantrum. I should be trying to intervene again, as everyone else is just standing and watching them fight, but I don't bother.
Sometimes, as stereotypical as this sounds, boys just need to fight and let off energy. I remember it so clearly with my brother and cousins growing up, my Oma would be horrified that they were fighting, believing that they were seriously injuring each other, but we all knew better. They were just letting off steam, which seems to be what James and Nott are doing now.
It's slightly comical really, us all stood surrounding the two boys scrapping on the grass, as if they're animals in a zoo. They carry on like this for about 5 minutes, before we're all just fed up and bored, we have better things to do then stand and watch a pathetic fight.
I watch Fred and Zabini exchange a look, Zabini raises his eyebrow at Fred and Fred reluctantly nods his head, seeming to agree. I don't know what's just gone on but realise, once they both bend down to haul each of the boys up, that they've finally decided to step in and break them apart.
Well that was the most anti-climatic fight I have ever witnessed.
Neither of the pair say anything, they actually look slightly embarrassed. The group has stood in silence for the past 5 minutes, watching them feebly attempting to punch the other, the silence occasionally broken by an odd grunt, or sound of a foot kicking a shin.
To us girls, the fight was not important, it was just as over as quickly as it began, but for the boys it was everything, a way to assert dominance. And this time no one won, neither James nor Nott came out on top, instead they came out of it as equals.
James and Nott won't physically fight each other for a while now, now that it's been established that neither can beat the other. I guess the boys fighting is just a way of duelling, only that even though fighting is frowned upon and disciplined, it's not banned from Hogwarts like duelling is.
The boys fighting, or attempting to, then just mutually agreeing to stop, without speaking, and then walking away from each other in silence, is one of the weirdest things ever, but how it goes. That's how fights at Hogwarts work really. One challenges the other, and either there is a victory, or there isn't. Most of the time the fighting occurs across houses, usually Gryffindor and Slytherin (quelle surprise), and when it is between these two houses, the importance is bigger than ever.
People like to pretend that inter-house unity is encouraged, like the Sorting Hat did at the beginning of this Welcome Feast, Gryffindor and Slytherin are, together, exceptions to this rule. The prejudice and stereotypes of the two houses has always run deep, but at the moment it seems to be mounting the highest peak.
James, now standing, stalks away with Fred and Lucas by his side, leaving us girls here with Malfoy and his cronies. Before I start arguing with Nott, which I think Roxanne can tell is coming, she drags me away, but not before furtively glancing at Zabini. Interesting, that's a potential relationship that would be one to watch. I know she's fancied him for a while, but didn't think she'd every act upon it.
From the sobs I heard the other night, Roxanne isn't fairing much better in the relationship department than Albus. I did try and warn her that this current boyfriend was no good for her, but she didn't want to know.
Quidditch practise runs smoothly, despite the initial rough start. As a team, the spirit moral is high, we've been playing like this for the past 2 years, and have only lost on a handful of occasions, so feel as if we have this game in the bag, even if it is Slytherin.
Before returning to my dorm, I stop off at the Owlery, despite the fact that it is after curfew. I need to write to Victoire, as I'm supposed to be meeting her after my date with Anto this weekend. My plan is to meet Anto, go to The 3 Broomsticks with him, and then go on to meet Victoire at the Hog's Head afterwards. That way, I have a get out of Azkaban free card if worst comes to worst and my date goes to shit.
I can't say I'm excited for my date, as that would be lying, but I'm not entirely dreading it. It could be a lot worse, and at the end of the day I agreed to going, so the blame lies with me, and me solely.
I won't put a lot of preparation into it either, I won't dress really fancy or girly, as that's not my type of vibe, I'm not about to change myself for someone just because they might like me better that way.
I find it is so important to be authentic, and genuine. If someone doesn't like me for me, then cool, they don't have to like me. I'm very content with having enemies and people who don't like me. I am very glad I'm not a people's pleaser like Dominique who wants everyone to like her and be happy. I'd rather have enemies, if it means that I'm being true to myself. And I must be then, being true to myself, as it is very clear that I don't get along with everyone.
I get along with most people, just not fake bitches, arrogant toerags who think it's okay to sleep with someone's girlfriend, and tall platinum blonde ferrets who take pleasure at my misfortune.
In the Owlery, dusk is beginning to set in. Due to it being October, nearly November, the sun sets at about 5:30pm in England, which is a nightmare when you think about the fact that I live in a castle with the only light source of candles.
It is these winter months that make me miss electricity of the muggle word. It would be so much easier if we had light switches and light bulbs, instead of matches and wax candles, but I suppose it wouldn't be the same, would it. Can you really imagine Hogwarts lit up like a Christmas tree, because of all of those lights, lamps, and chandeliers?
I quickly write my letter, telling Victoire of my plan. I roll up the parchment and tie it to Louis's owl, which I can see grooming itself in the far corner. It makes sense to use Louis's owl, Hootie, as he will be flying in that direction anyway to drop off Louis's letters. I can only tell by the letters attached to Hootie's other leg that he is about to make that journey, and it reminds me to quickly add a spell to the letters which makes them weightless, so Hootie isn't weighed down on his flight.
I know, Hootie, what a name for an owl, but to be fair to Louis he did get it when he was 5, and as a 5 year old, your vocabulary isn't the most imaginative.
I really ought to write to Mum and Dad, and check in with them, but decide that I will just leave it until next week, after the Quidditch match. Hugo and I only wrote to them recently, so next week I will have much more to say.
I always do this, leaving writing letters until the last minute and then end up writing a 6 page essay on what I've been up to recently. Mum loves the letters, and thrives off of all the information we give her, but I know Dad only skim reads and looks for the important parts, not that I blame him though, as I would probably do the same. Ironic isn't it, I'm happy to write letters that are 6 pages long, but wouldn't read one myself.
Friday skips by and before I know it it's Saturday, the first Hogsmeade weekend. I manage to avoid Malfoy all of Friday, despite us taking the exact same subjects, but as I don't have Potions on a Friday, I'm excused from having to sit directly next to him. All my other teachers like me too much to pair me up with Malfoy, or at least that's what I like to think, they're probably doing it to avoid the 3rd Wizarding War breaking out.
I see Al on Friday and catch up with him briefly. He is doing better, but still isn't 100%, and promises to talk to me properly on Sunday, as when I bumped into him he was rushing off to Herbology.
Lily and Evelyna are especially excited when I tell them I have a date for this Hogsmeade weekend, with Lily insisting that she does my makeup and chooses my outfit.
Lily isn't particularly girly either, but definitely knows what she's doing when it comes to style and fashion. I take her up on the offer, as long as she promises to not over do it, which she agrees to, and surprisingly holds her word.
Looking at myself now, I look nice and natural, but not too much. She's painted my eyes in a light shimmer of brown, with mascara accentuating my long lashes, so I look like me, but in high definition. I have only a light layer of foundation on, with contour highlighting my cheekbones. There is no need for blush, as no doubt I'll end up embarrassing myself at some point on this date, and will end up turning tomato red. My hair is tied back in a bun, half up, half down, with soft auburn ringlets hanging gently round my face. They keep sticking to my lipbalm, a clear colour that highlights their natural pink, but it's worth it as I do look good.
I feel so full of myself saying that, and I know it's fully down to Lily's makeup skill, but one must give credit where it's due.
Walking down with Ciara and Astrid to the courtyard, I wrap my thick black coat around me, bundling myself up under it in order to protect me against the bite of the chilly wind. As my face looks half-decent, I thought I could get away with dressing casual. A royal blue jumper accompanies my coat and scarf, black denim jeans and thick Dr. Martens boots protect me from the cold.
I'm careful not to slip on the ice as I make my way across the courtyard, where I see Anto stood with James, Fred, and Lucas, giving me a charming smile. Quickly saying hi to Evelyna, already stood with Lucas, "You look lovely Rose!", I go to stand next to Anto, who hasn't taken his eyes off of me since I came round the corner.
"Hey," he says, no awkwardness present in his voice, "You look great Rose"
"Thanks", I respond politely, "You don't look too bad yourself".
He does look very nice, dressed smartly in a long olive coat, black jeans and brown boots, but I still don't feel any of the excitement that I ought to on a first date. I almost have to force the compliment out of my mouth, as it would be rude not to compliment him back, but god it's hard doing so.
"You ready to go then?", He asks, offering me his arm.
I take it, but not before a sight of platinum blonde hair catches my eye, only slightly visible in my line of sight.
Turning my head, I lock eyes with Malfoy, who is leaning casually against the wall, next to none other than Belle.
He smirks at me, glances between me and Anto, and then slowly looks my body up and down, deliberately taking as much time as possible.
I'm never able to work out if he's satisfied by his findings, because as soon as he snaps his head back up, he pulls Belle into a passionate kiss, hands going straight to grab her arse.
The unfamiliar familiar of earlier is back, settling in my stomach, before growing as it did this afternoon. I feel sick, but it's not from the pure disgust I normally feel at girls throwing themselves at Malfoy, no, it's something different. It's like I've just been put under a spell, as Anto has to snap his fingers in front of my face to get my attention.
Anto follows my line of sight, before swallowing hardly and furrowing his eyebrows, tightning his grip on my arm.
"Come on Rose," he urges, "It's time to go, we don't want to miss the first Hogsmeade weekend."
I'm not sure about that Anto, I want to say, right now I'd rather be anywhere but here.
We've made it to chapter 10! Like I said this chapter was really hard to write. Each chapter won't be fully polished until I finish the story I don't think, as even though I'm going back and changing them slightly (not majorly, but just checking for spelling mistakes), I will want to see how the story reads as a whole. If the story follows the plan, which currently has 30 chapters, we are 1/3 there! I have a feeling though that this story could end up being a bit longer... Next chapter will be up tomorrow, like I have said before I live in England so it will be up on Monday 24th May, my evening time. Hope you enjoyed :)