(A/N: Hey, folks. So, starting from this point on, my older brother[the very same who gave me the idea to do this, along with the intro and the co-writer for Across the Multiverse Productions] is going to be a recurring guest star for these reviews. He's not going to appear in every review, just the ones that appeal to him, or something that he might not like, but he thinks could've been better. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Also, this might be after the holiday, but Happy Halloween! *Lightning strikes as a witch cackles in the background*)
A trio of glowing dots looked at the readers.
Critical Mew, looking for you
The glowing dots split into the Legendary Titans(excluding Regigigas).
Critical Mew, where are you?
The Critical Mew flies in, wearing a trench coat and a hat, giving the readers a wink.
Come on, Mew, where you been?
The Critical Mew took off the trench coat and used Transform, becoming a king, a dame with blonde hair, a waiter and an Elvis impersonator.
Trouble's on the loose again
A mysterious figure showed up, trying to crush Mew with a sandbag, only to narrowly miss. He looked behind him to the embodiment of stress, who proceeded to chase him to a door of things to review, which began to do the Thriller hip movements.
(Mew)
They're not gonna get you
(Critical Mew)
The Legendary Titans went in a protective circle in front of Mew, protecting him.
Uh uh, the Regi Trio's gonna help you
(Mew)
Mew was in a barrel full of toys, deciding to peek out only for the floor to break under him, causing him to grab a loose floorboard with his tail.
Ooh, the comment's gonna be there
Registeel jumped on the floorboard, launching Mew into the air. Regice and Regirock caught Mew in their arms. Regieleki and Regidrago let out a sigh of relief.
And the readers too
The Critical Mew floated past Lavender Town, only for the ghost of Marowak to appear, scaring him away.
Critical Mew, looking for you
Mew was surrounded by loads of Ghost and Dark-Type Pokemon, all about to ambush him.
Critical Mew, where are you?
Only for the Legendary Titans to attack them all, saving Mew as they head back to the Tree of Beginning.
Mew, Critical Mew
Mew
The stuff to be reviewed danced once again, doing the Thriller hip moves.
Critical Mew
Mew
A pair of eyes zoom out, showing Mew and the Legendary Titans with the Tree of Beginning in the background.
Critical Mew!
The Critical Mew-Season One
Episode 10: The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo-Featuring ? as a Guest Star
Halloween-Tree of Beginning
"Happy Halloween, folks!" Mew greeted, floating in front of the camera, wearing a cat costume, based on the cat suit from Super Mario 3D World.
"And to celebrate the holidays, we're going to talk ab-"
"Are we not going to talk about the fact that a literal demon stole my ring?!" Hoopa interrupted, panicked.
"Hoopa, not in front of Giratina. He's sensitive," Mew chastised, covering Giratina's ears.
"Not that demon! Giratina is a Legendary. I meant Satan trapped in a human body!" Hoopa shouted.
"Oh," Mew said, uncovering Giratina's ears. "You heard that, big guy. Your feelings aren't in danger this time." Mew said.
Giratina's face lit up with a smile, as he held up a sign that read, "Yay!", before heading back to the Distortion World.
"May I ask why…?"
"Ask about his feelings, Hoopa, so you can use it as a prank, and I will, no joke, eat your soul." Mew threatened.
"Okay."
"Anyways, tell me about this 'false demon' so I can get back to the review I've been preparing for the past couple of weeks. Heck, I even got this costume custom-made by VIrus Groudon!" Mew exclaimed.
"Wait, what?" Hoopa asked.
"Yep, he's actually a good Pokemon to talk to once you get to know him. He's just angry and does the whole 'sucking any life' thing due to being made wrong, but he's actually made great clothing." Mew said.
"Oh."
"Now, tell me about the 'fake demon', so I can do this review."
"But I'm actually telling the truth!"
"Yeah, that's what you said 65 million times, and every one of those times it turns out to be a prank."
Flashback-Many Years Ago, Kalos(Exact Time Unknown)
"Oh my gods, it's a demon!" Hoopa, back in his Unbound form, shouted.
"Where?!" Every Legendary and Mythical Pokemon asked, arriving to drive off the demon.
However, Hoopa started laughing. "Just kidding. It was my shadow! You should've seen the look on your faces!" Hoopa taunted.
Mew floated up to Hoopa and punched him in the face, surprisingly hurting him.
"Next time you pull this stunt, we're not going to believe you." Everyone said as they started to leave.
"Yeah, right. It's not like there's an actual demon who's going to come." Hoopa snarked.
Present Time, Kanto Region
"Look, I know I tricked you 65 million times, but you gotta believe me!" Hoopa pleaded.
"Hmm, let me think about that. No." Mew said with no hesitation.
"Please!" Hoopa begged.
"No. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. Fool me 65,000,000 times, and you're making an unnecessary mountain out of a huge Doofenshmirtz molehill." Mew said.
"Oh come on! You're not gonna help me fight Chernabog?!" Hoopa shouted.
"Really, I thought he was Ursula." Mew pointed out.
"No, Ursula is a woman. What we're dealing with is the god of evil!"
"Guess this means I'm married to Maleficent and Grimhilde." A voice said from behind Hoopa. "That, or I had a child with Zhan Tiri, but that's a can of worms no one wants. Again."
"It's the Devil!" Hoopa shrieked like a girl in a horror film.
Mew sighed before teleporting Hoopa away. "Finally. Ready to get the review on the road, Andrew?"
"There are points where I get annoyed with the name, but yes." Andrew said.
"Good. Then it's time to talk about the darkest Scooby-Doo show of all time." Mew said, holding up a package with the words, "Darkest Scooby-Doo show" in Sharpie.
"Oh no. Not that one! I keep getting Vietnamese flashbacks!"
"Look, I know the show is divisive, but it's not that bad."
"Not that bad?! Asshole parents, 5th-grade doodle monsters, plot that goes nowhere, character assassination, and last, but not least, Scoob is not part alien! The Doos just talk! What, are all Hanna-Barbera characters related to aliens? We don't need an explanation, all Hanna-Barbera animal characters just talk!"
Mew had a look of confusion at first, before realizing what Andrew was ranting about. "No, no, no. I'm not talking about Mystery Incorporated. Arceus, that show is overrated." Mew said.
"Oh thank Vanessa." Andrew said in relief.
"I was talking about The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo." Mew said, unwrapping the package to reveal the poster for the series.
"Good thing I've brought the complete series, which my brother got for me on Easter last year during the quarantine period, thanks to COVID. And it's also thanks to that period that, well, I'm not quite the same. Not to mention the first pet I have is in this urn right here, magic tampon cat," Andrew said, holding up said urn.
"Oh. That's...unfortunate." Mew said after a moment. "Um, anyways, ready to review this series?"
"Yes. And I have my second pet with me." Andrew said, putting a bearded dragon on his shoulder. "Dojo, the magical disinterested dragon."
"Anyways, as you all know, I gave a brief overview on the 13 Ghosts when I first started these reviews with the first episode of Crystal Rose of Pollux's second season. Spoiler alert, I'm only reviewing the second season, because A.) it's a good place to end, and B.) not trying to be mean to her, I like the fact that she has a plan for further stuff regarding this particular era of Scoobert Doo, but I think the third season is unnecessary, since the second season would be enough to wrap up everything for the 13 Ghosts.
"However, I never brought up the reason why the show was cancelled in the first place, hence the reason why people have been waiting for a proper conclusion. Something that Warner Bros. failed epically. So, I'm giving you guys a chance to guess the reason why.
"Was it A.) the studio was tired of the hoax being real? B.) low viewership? C.) the hatred between Scrappy and Flim-Flam was so divisive that not even the fans and the people working on the show could decide which one to hate? D.) two out of the three? E.) all of the above? Or F.) none of the above?" Mew asked, the options lit up on the screen like something out of a game show.
"Well, if you choose D.), then congratulations, you got B.) and C.) right." Andrew said.
"Hooray, Dojo guessed right!" Mew exclaimed, as balloons and streamers appeared out of nowhere. "Somehow," he added.
"Oh my Ursula, what did he win?"
"Absolutely nothing. Warner Bros. doesn't give out prizes to anyone who cares about Scooby-Doo, given how much they try to hide the fact that real monsters are a thing."
"How dare you, Warner Bros.?! Dojo is just a boy!"
"However, we delayed this for too long. Time to start the review. This is The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo." Mew said.
"So we begin with the series premiere, 'To All The Ghouls I've Loved Before', where the gang are trying to head to Hawaii. However, as this episode and the later movies show, Scooby can't read a map for shit. And shit is the most readable person to ever live." Andrew said.
"I swear, if someone in the audience is planning on making a toilet joke about how turd is readable, I'm out. Plus, don't be hard on Scooby. After all, he did manage to get them to Beauregard's plantation...barely." Mew said under his breath.
"*Cough* Hypocrite. *Cough* Sorry, allergies. Must be allergic to Shaggy And Scooby-Doo Get A Clue." Andrew said.
"Hey, at least Scrappy isn't the one trusted with the map. Not trying to be mean, but remember the time he put it somewhere for safekeeping?" Mew asked.
"Like I'm ready to get to this fancy girl school and taste some of their fancy cooking," Shaggy says, and laughs.
"Ree Roo," Scooby agrees.
"In the meantime, I'll check the grub compartment," Scrappy says.
He opens the compartment in the van and pulls out something to eat, "Hey! There's a sandwich left."
Shaggy takes the sandwich and takes a bite out of it and swallows it.
Shaggy surprisingly reacts, "Yuck!"
Shaggy looks at the sandwich and the bread falls out. Turns out the inside of the sandwich is a map.
"Like anyone for a road map run rie," Shaggy asks.
Scrappy takes the map and says, "I put it in there for safe keeping, Shaggy."
Shaggy says, "I think we're lost."
"Then again, he is smart for his age, but he is still his age: AKA, a young pup. Remember that, James Gunn. And no, we are not over that sick joke you pulled. You may have apologized, but if even Tim Curry walked out on the film because of it, then you should've changed it so that children wouldn't leave the theater in tears!" Mew shouted.
"Then we get introduced to Bogel and Weerd, who are the Horace and Jasper for this show. And, surprisingly, they are competent at times. Hell, they even managed to force the gang to land their plane. Luckily, no one was harmed during the makings of this show or this franchise." Andrew said.
"Except for those who gets beaten up by the crooks of the day, the monsters and ghouls who dies at the end of their films, Tim Curry and his ghostly ancestor, the entire cast of background and supporting characters at the end of Mystery Incorporated, and Fred, Velma and Daphne might be putting up fronts, but they might be suffering from emotional scars from Sands of Time and Space, not to mention Scrappy and Flim-Flam might need counseling at some point. Oh, and Vincent Van Ghoul, due to his past prior to The 13 Ghosts." Mew said.
"Okay, okay. Just stop! Jeez, you magic tampon cat!" Andrew said.
"Heck, you can say the only ones who surprisingly managed to evade any injuries, physical, mental or emotional, are Scooby and Shaggy, despite their guilt for releasing the 13 Ghosts. And you can chalk that up to Shaggy knowing black magic." Mew points out.
"Vincent, notice it!" Andrew shouted, shaking the camera.
"Anyways, the gang meets Flim-Flam McScam, and I'm not ashamed to admit this, I actually find the last name clever." Mew said.
"So his parents' last names are McScam? Wonder where they ar-" Andrew began, before the scene suddenly cut out, and then cut back in, with no one reacting to it at all.
"Anyways, the townspeople tell the gang to leave. Daphne tells them that their jet is still there, only for the mayor, I think, to tell them to leave it, and that a coachman will take them out of town. So, they wait in a tavern, where they meet...Vincent Van Ghoul, played by Ratigan and the Red Death himself, Vincent motherfucking Price, who couldn't reprise his role due to, um, legitimate reasons. And it didn't involve money." Andrew said.
"It's because he's dead. A true tragedy to the world." Mew said. "Especially for the guy who made sure that his kids never see any film where he plays the bad guy."
"Can't blame him. If Dojo saw me in that role, I would hide it from him, no matter what anyone says. Plus, the box art says that Vincent Price is incomparable." Andrew said.
"Anyways, Vincent tells the gang to leave town, but as we all know, the gang refuses. However, Daphne drinks some water, which turns out to be wolfsbane, and it turns her into a werewolf, at the exact time that the townspeople turn into werewolves as well." Mew said.
"Where is that explanation, Alvin?" Andrew asked.
"What a twist!" M. Night Shyamalan said.
"Shyamalan!" Andrew shouted.
"Shaggy, Scooby, Scrappy and Flim-Flam ducked into the sewers, only for Daphne to follow them." Mew said.
"Luckily for everyone, though, there's Flim-Flam's Lotsa Luck Joy Juice, which cures Daphne and the townspeople. Wow, the back cover was right. Flim-Flam is a con artist/magician. Who knew?
"Anyways, Vincent tells Daphne, Flim-Flam and Scrappy about the 13 Ghosts, and suddenly the intro doesn't seem like a lie anymore, does it?"
"Which makes it more horrifying when Bogel and Weerd manage to trick Scooby and Shaggy into opening by making a game show. And, well, I think the results speak for themselves." Mew said.
The Chest of Demons opens...and all hell breaks loose.
"Sorry, Rose of Pollux, I like your works, but just like WhiteFangKakashi300, I can point out the flaws in the franchise by going with what the original source material states. I'll get to that when we get to Villain Spawns...again, because WhiteFangKakashi300 really needs the help.
"Anyways, the point I'm making is, this is all Chernabog's doing, not Hades. I'm used to the Disney version of him, so sorry if I'm not sticking with his Kid Icarus incarnation. I only know Palutena, and that's because of, um, research. Yeah, let's go with th-Wait, is this still on?" Andrew asked.
"Due to releasing the 13 ghosts, the gang are now morally obligated to recapture them, starting off one of their darkest adventures ever." Mew said, throwing away Mystery Incorporated.
"And since we review the first episode in its entirety, somewhat, the rest of the series are lightning rounds. Also, to make sense of continuity for us, 'Scooby in Kwackyland' takes place before 'Scoobra Kadabra', due to Vincent not helping the gang in the former episode, as opposed to the latter, where he did provide some help. With that out of the way, on to the lightning round!" Mew declared.
"'Scooby in Kwackyland', Vincent is a dick, the gang are trapped in a comic book world, and Demondo, well, hide your kids, parents. Bogel and Weerd do terrible improv, and of course, Platypus Duck. Serious, that's his name. Platypus Duck. Also, the comic book characters are in the real world now, and Demondo is in the Chest of Demons because they threw the comic strip he was stuck in, into the Chest of Demons"
"What makes this hilarious is that he would have succeeded in destroying the Chest, if it weren't for the fact that he accidentally sent it into the comic strip with the gang. So, he failed by his own logic." Mew points out.
"Anyways, 'Scoobra Kadabra'. You get Sleeping Beauty, The Sword in the Stone, and The Black Cauldron vibes, all in one episode. ...That's not a good thing, isn't it?" Andrew asked.
"No." Mew said. "Bring on the mariachi band.
*Heavy rock music plays in the background*
"That's not mariachi, Ga-!" Mew shouts. "When did Ganon hijack a mariachi band? What's next, Dick Dastardly stops to cheat?" Mew asked as the two TV Tropes pages for Ganon and Dick Dastardly appear on screen.
"Yes. Anyways, we get to a legitimate ghost who isn't named Demondo, Maldor the Malevolent, voiced by Peter Collins. Now we know how Nemesis Prime sounds in Transformer Prime. Now, only if I still had Transformers Animated.
"Anyways, he wants the Wonder Wand of Zadgraz which is really a golden spoon. It's a Wonderful Scoob, I guess." Andrew said.
"No, this is 'Scoobra Kadabra'. We won't get to 'It's a Wonderful Scoob' for another seven episodes." Mew points out.
"Magical tampon cat, get a hold of yourself, goddamnit. They tricked you!" Andrew exclaimed, backhanding Mew.
"Ow." Mew groaned out, after hitting the ground.
"However, Maldor fucks around with the gang before putting Daphne in a sleeping curse."
"Luckily, the curse can be broken by a Great Danish Prince."
"Quick, someone call Phillip!" Andrew said.
"Sorry, he died of old age long ago." Mew said.
"Florian?"
"Same."
"Eric?"
"Ariel wasn't in a sleeping curse, and again, same as the other two."
"First of all, I know that. I have seen the movie way too many times, and I still remember it, scene by scene, frame by frame, dialogue by dialogue. Second, who else do we have then?!"
"Scooby. After all, he is a Great Dane."
"I guess that works."
"Anyways, they turn Maldor into a toad, break the sleeping curse, freeing Daphne and the princess who turns out to be a female Great Dane herself, and they all went on their merry way."
"Wait, you forgot the most important scene of all!" Andrew said.
Mew gasped. "How could I have forgotten?" he asked.
Water poured out of the crystal ball and swept up Vincent's dinner off his table.
"This is getting quite annoying," Vincent said.
"Spoken like a true saint he is." Andrew said, before pointing at the title card. "Now let's get down to brass tacks. Ow," he said, hitting his knee lightly with a tack.
"Onto the next episode, 'Me and My Shadow Demon', the gang accidentally loses the Chest of Demons to the Shadow Demon…"
"Title drop. Well, half of it, but you get the gist of it, folks." Andrew said.
"And they tell Vincent about it," Mew finished.
Vincent: In all my years dealing with the macabre, I have never screamed.
Daphne: We lost the Chest of Demons.
[Beat; Vincent does an Eye Take]
"I'm pretty sure he'll take it as calmly as anyone would when being told about this. I mean, after all, Vincent Price is well known for being reasonable and his ability for being ca-"
Vincent: ARRRRGH!
"Woah, Vincent, calm the fuck down! Jeez, this is like Ratigan all over again." Andrew said.
"Don't you mean, Iron Tail?" Mew asked.
"No. At least Iron Tail didn't shout out his words like he was gonna murder Peter with his bare paws!"
"No. He was trying to make Easter a dictatorship."
"Well, it's better than trying to kill Basil, that's for sure."
"Anyways, so of course they go to Befuddle Manor, located entirely on Bald Mountain." Mew said.
"I was kidding! You mean to tell me that Chernabog actually did have a hand in this? Holy of mother of fuck! And yes folks, Fuck's mother is actually terrifying as shit. And don't let me con-"
"STOP! Let's cut back to this review!" Mew said.
"Okay. Anyways, they find out that one of the 13 ghosts, Morbidia, had taken over Befuddle Manor and plans to destroy the Chest of Demons. However, they get saved by Baron Befuddle and his shadow demon. Scooby and Shaggy sing a song, titled 'Me and My Shadow Demon', title drop by the way, to distract Morbidia, and Vincent hightails it to Befuddle Manor to help the gang.
"Of course, they have to pull out the biggest distraction, allowing the sun to rise up, turning Morbidia to dust. And it's unknown whether she died or not. I doubt even the show writers know the answer." Andrew explains.
"Also, there's a plot point during the episode where Flim-Flam broke the crystal ball, and at the end of the episode, he and Scooby take a magic carpet to get that fixed, something that was touched on in one of Crystal Rose of Pollux's one shots." Mew adds.
"Next episode, 'Reflections in a Ghoulish Eye', where the gang head to an Arabian town, where they get attacked by Reflector Specter, who traps Scooby, Shaggy and Daphne in the Mirror Dimension." Andrew said.
"At least they weren't sent to the Shadow Realm. Or Florida. Or Australia." Mew listed.
"Or that isle that Hades was trapped on!" Registeel shouted, only to get tackled by Regirock.
"Oh, for goodness sake," Mew muttered, facepawing.
"Anyways, it's thanks to Vincent's pendant, that he gave to Daphne at the beginning of the episode while in a disguise, that they were able to get out. Also, Scrappy and Flim-Flam introduce a new weapon: The Vacuum Spook!" Andrew declared as lightning struck behind him.
"Which catches Reflector Specter," Mew said.
Ian pushes the button. "That was easy," a voice said from the button.
"Next episode, 'That's Monstertainment'." Andrew said.
"That's something that Sabrina the Animated Series or Archie's Weird Mysteries would come up with," Mew said.
"Well, when DiC does it, it sucks. When Scooby-Doo does it, you bet your ass you're gonna sit down and watch it, god damn it! It's Scoob!" Andrew said, as the poster for Scoob! appear in front of him. "No, not that film. Definitely not that film."
"Anyways, Zomba traps the gang, and Vincent, in a movie. More specifically, The Son of the Bride of the Ghost of Frankenstein! And of course, this episode goes through all the horror movie cliches, though Shaggy asked the most important question everyone wonders about these monsters." Mew said.
Scooby: It's alive! It's alive! It's alive!
Shaggy: But is it paper-trained?
"And no, this isn't toilet humor!" Mew points out.
"Quick, before we get to Critic territory, basically gets her butt handed to her by mother freaking security systems! And of course, finds out that the Chest is fake, so she goes into the movie to get the real Chest." Andrew said.
*Scene of the gang being chased by Zomba, but with the stereotypical chase music replacing the actual music*
"Also, Scoob finally gave Scrappy a cousin: the Frankenscoob Monster! And of course, they trapped Zomba, escaped the film, and had a lot of fun or something." Andrew said.
"Anyways, let's do a quick commercial break so we can tackle the second half of this show." Mew said.
"Agreed." Andrew said.
"Commercials!" Registeel shouted before getting knocked out by Regirock.
"Ha ha, I win," Regirock said, before getting frozen by Regice.
"Dude, why don't you cool down?"
"That's a lame pun, asshole!" Andrew shouted.
"I know," Regice said, turning on the commercials.
(Cue instrumental of theme song)
(This review has been brought to you by Boris Kreepoff's show, Believe It Or Else. Disclaimer, Boris is off doing something for Athena, so someone else is in charge of the show for now.)
Found something that's hard to explain? Something that might be out of this world? Or something that is supernatural?
Then come over to the studio of Believe It Or Else, where we listen to anyone who has seen the unnatural phenomenons! Your story would be on the air, where everyone will believe it, and you, or else they'll wish they had. That is, if they had time to regret it.
So come on down to the studio and talk to Boris, today! He's a friendly guy. Sure, he might have almost doomed the world by re-unleashing the 11 recaptured ghosts from the Chest of Demons, but he regretted that, and the problem was already solved, so don't hold that against him.
Believe It Or Else, where everyone listens to the ones who see the supernatural. Get interviewed today, or else.
(Cue instrumental of theme song)
"Well, we're back. And if you are all going to complain about the commercial being bland, the disclaimer said that Boris is doing something for Athena. Otherwise, he would've done the commercial for us," Mew said.
"Anyways, next episode, 'Ship of Ghouls', where we get the repercussions of the franchise," Andrew said.
"You mean the fact Scooby has PTSD?" Mew asked.
"Yes. Everyone has it. Including me," Andrew said.
"...In a way, you're right. There are multiple ways to get PTSD, and no one would know it. Heck, Trainers can get it just by walking and rather continue their journeys instead of getting the proper help they need."
"That's the tagline, 'Gotta catch 'em all!'. At least there's no dogfights in this universe," Andrew said.
"Um, moving on to 'Ship of Ghouls',' Mew said nervously.
"Wait, I want to know the story." Registeel said.
For a moment, no one made a sudden movement.
"Sorry!" exclaimed the old guy(with Registeel's head animated over his body) as he was thrown out of Kuzco's palace via a window.
"There. Now we can talk about the episode," Mew said, dusting off his paws.
"Anyways, the gang decides to take Scoob on a cruise. However, the cruise is hijacked by Ganon-I mean, Captain Ferguson, and of course, he takes the ship to the Bermuda Triangle, where the Chest of Demons would be open. Wonder how that giant gold ball fits into all of that." Andrew said.
"Can't forget Scooby being hypnotized to be calm," Mew said.
"Yeah, ex-Wait a minute, this is exactly like Pirate Ahoy! The gang taking a cruise, hypnotism, Bermuda Triangle…" Andrew said.
"All we're missing is Skunkbeard finding the meteor and we're set!" Mew declared.
"This episode is also confusing for whether Ferguson is a 13 ghost or not. And the answer is...still debatable. And no, The 13 Curses doesn't count, considering everything wrong said about it! I don't care about what they said behind the scenes, Ferguson is still debatable." Andrew said.
"Not even the fans know whether Ferguson is the ghost or not. Some say he is, and some say it's the ship." Mew said.
"Also, we get tornado monster." Andrew said. "Next episode, 'A Spooky Ghoul Like You', where Vincent is at a warlock's convention. Wow, it's like Comic Con all over again."
"Except this time, no one is wearing costumes or trying to trample one another just to talk to a celebrity...or even to get merchandise." Mew pointed out.
"Anyways, Nekara is there, and no matter what Rose of Pollux says, she's not a Gorgon, she's a succubus, given she drains the life out of people."
"Like Verosika?" Mew asked.
"Never expect a Pocket Monster to watch a show about demons." Andrew said.
"Eh, I have a lot of time when I'm not doing any reviews, so I just watch whatever videos I decide to watch." Mew explained.
"Well, if your friend thinks I'm the black god, I guess this isn't a shocking bit. Also, we meet another one of Vincent's friends, Voudini. While Rose of Pollux based him off Christopher Lee…"
"Scoobypedia states that Voudini is also based on Harry Houdini himself."
"Anyways, Nekara hypnotizes Vincent and plans to marry him."
"Plans to? She actually did marry him, even if she didn't get to drain his power."
"And throughout this episode, the gang pulls out everything to stop her, no Scooby Snacks required, and barely manages to prevent her from stealing Vincent's magic."
"However, what no one bothers to mention is that the Chest of Demons is the ultimate divorce papers." Mew said.
Meanwhile, in the Chest of Demons
"Well, my plan to steal Vincent's magic had failed, but I still tarnished his reputation, and his bloodline, by marrying him." Nekara gloated.
Suddenly, a piece of paper hit Nekara's eye. She unfolded it and read it, before frowning. "...Really, it took you this long? Are we really going with this?" Nekara said, upset more about the fact that Vincent filed the divorce papers in 2016 rather than the fact that her plans were completely, and utterly, destroyed.
Meanwhile, back at the Tree of Beginning
"Anyways, next episode, 'When You Witch Upon A Star', which involves Marcella, the Brewski Sisters, AKA the Hex Girl's parents, and wacky hijinks. How can you combine all of these and make a great episode out of it?" Mew asked.
"Just have it similar to a Three Stooges episode." Andrew said.
"...Brilliant!" Mew declared.
"Marcella plans to use the Brewski sisters to escape the Zone of Eternal Evil." Andrew said.
"Wait, so she got herself free from the Chest of Demons, and trapped in the Zone of Eternal Evil?" Mew asked.
"Yes."
"Were the show writers trying to make some of these ghosts stupid or something?"
"First of all, she got trapped there by accident. Second, shouldn't you say the same to Zomba, who should've known how the Chest of Demons felt?"
"...Touche. ...Turtle." Mew joked.
"No one is gonna get that reference ever." Andrew said.
"Try telling that to Jellystone!, the series that brings back every Hanna-Barbera character either popular or forgotten."
"Okay, then where's Snaggletooth?"
"Easy, he's Snagglepuss."
"Okay, then explain the Jetson and the Flintstones being in the show."
"...Actually, I don't know."
"Anyways, the gang has to stall for time, once again, for Vincent to come. Which, speaking of Vincent, he gets trapped and has to be rescued by a fairy. But luckily for everyone, he gets freed, gives the Brewski sisters the incantation to send Marcella into the Chest of Demons, and the day is saved, thanks to a fairy!" Andrew said like the narrator from The Powerpuff Girls.
Ian pushes the button. "That was easy," a voice said from the button.
"Next episode, 'It's A Wonderful Scoob'." Andrew said.
"Easily the scariest episode, thanks to the ghost of the episode, Time Slime," explained Mew.
"We get introduced to a new weapon: The Time Scepter!" Andrew declared as lightning struck behind him. "A weapon that can essentially control all of time and space itself."
"We should be glad that Cyrus didn't have this, he would've actually succeeded." Mew said, before pulling out a voice recorder. "Actually, note to self: never let any head of any evil organization get a hold of this, there's no telling what they would do."
"Scooby accidentally uses it and goes through time. While he saw his birth, which is adorable-"
"Don't watch actual dog births, they're not pleasant." Mew warned.
Baby Scrappy: Hi, mommy.
Ruby Doo: Oh, Scrappy-Doo.
Jeffrey Kitsch: *Smiling* Aw.
*Scene of actual dog birth appear on screen*
Jeffrey Kitsch: *Disgusted, covering his eyes* Ugh.
"I was too late," Mew said, horrified.
"And then things take a turn for the worst when he relives the moment he opened the Chest of Demons, causing him to quit from the whole thing." Andrew said.
"So while the gang gets a replacement for Scoob, only to get captured, Vincent heads to Dooville and takes Scoob with him to the bad future, where we get to see what happens if Scooby sticks to his decision to remain retired," Mew said.
"Daphne is a slave, Scrappy and Flim-Flam are biker gangs from Hot Topics-" Andrew began.
Spongebob Squarepants: Oh no!
"And Shaggy is insane." Andrew finished.
"What makes this much more harsher is that Crystal Rose of Pollux has in her continuity that Shaggy being insane is due to his mind breaking from Time Slime's failed attempt to mind control him, since he continued to have hope that Scooby would come back to help them." Mew explained.
"So, Scooby quits retirement…"
Scooby: Oh, I quit that after I heard about this!
Time Slime: ...You quit being retired?!
"...stop Time Slime and put him in the Chest of Demons, thus saving the day." Andrew finished.
"And despite the trauma, he still trudges on. Because as he learned from the time he went to Hollywood, he must do it for the kids. His fans. But most importantly, to save the world!" Mew said.
"This time, this meddling dog is packing!" Andrew exclaimed as gun fires sound off in the background.
"Coming next year, Call of Duty: The War for Scooby Snacks! ...Wait, what were we talking about again?" Mew questioned.
"'Coast-to-Ghost'." Andrew answered.
"Oh yeah." Mew said.
"Where basically Rankor, the first vampire in history, even before Dracula, using the Eye of Eternity to petrify Vincent." Andrew said.
"Well, that went dark pretty quickly." Mew said.
"I know. It's like they're trying to tie with 'It's A Wonderful Scoob' for the darkest episode."
"What's next, they're going to have 'Horror-Scope Scoob' be dark as well?" Mew asked sarcastically.
"Anyways, the gang go to find the mask to break the curse while reluctantly allowing Bogel and Weerd join them. Only for the two ghosts to try and stop them at the end. This is what I meant when I said they're competent at points in the show!"
"Yeah, given that in this series, the gang never tried to put Bogel and Weerd in the Chest due to viewing them as nuisances. It was this episode that pushes the gang over the limit and tries to actively put Bogel and Weerd in the Chest. And Sands of Time and Space doesn't make things better." Mew explained.
"Anyways, they stop Bogel and Weerd, get the mask, save Vincent, and put Rankor in the Chest. Which he is the only one who willingly went in due to the sun coming up and Scrappy and Flim-Flam offered the Chest and he went in, thanking them for it as he did so." Andrew said.
"Yeah, but now he'll never live down the shame of this moment because the other demons will mock him for giving up his chance of vengeance. Then again, they'll also make fun of Morbidia for possibly dying, and Marcella for getting sent in via a spell, while everyone else got trapped by the gang, yes, but it took a lot of effort and trickery to do that." Mew explained.
"Next episode, 'The Ghouliest Show on Earth', where a circus comes to Dooville. However, it's runned by Professor Phantazmo, one of the 13 ghosts." Andrew said. "Though, Rose of Pollux, answer me this: how can a circus exist back in Ancient Greece?"
"Better yet, explain why Rankor isn't a vampire in your continuity? Or Nekara being a Gorgon instead of a succubus?" Mew asked.
"Exactly!" Andrew said.
"Anyways, the main character of this episode is Flim-Flam, who gets hypnotized into joining the circus." Mew said.
Spongebob Squarepants: Oh no!
"But don't worry, Flim-Flam breaks free from mind control and saves the day. Also, Phantazmo is revealed to be an old man who gets stronger, and younger, with more people under his mind control. This episode has to be based off Something Wicked This Way Comes, because it has some of the similar things. Evil carnival magician, freaking mind control, children being targeted! All we need is a final battle involving a carousel and we're set!" Andrew ranted.
"At least we don't have evil clowns," Mew said.
"Don't tempt fate, you flying hairless cat!" Andrew shouted.
"First of all, I have fur. Second of all, 'Horror-Scope Scoob', the series finale." Mew said.
"Ah yes, the plot of this episode is simple. Boris Kreepoff, an old friend of Vincent, and based on Boris Karloff himself, invites the gang for an interview, accompanied by the Chest of Demons. However, the lion demon, Zimbulu, comes in, planning to use the winter solstice to open the Chest of Demons and gain power from it. Yes, this show establishes that the ghosts can open the Chest, as long as the stars are aligned or something." Andrew said.
"At least we're not unleashing the Titans." Mew commented.
"God no, that's legitimately Greek and we all know Hades isn't going to try that stunt again." Andrew said.
Hades: *Screams in anger, causing an explosion*
Hercules and the citizens of Thebes distantly heard the explosion, but decided to not react to it.
"What about Hera?" Mew asked.
"No, that's legitimately evil, and Lord knows we can't have that." Andrew said.
"Turns out Boris took the Chest of Demons so he can open it, on live camera, for publicity. That, and he was also jealous of Vincent for being popular with the ladies. However, at the last moment, he changes his mind." Mew said.
"Of course, Zimbulu opened the Chest, but thanks to the Vacuum-Spook, he gets sent to the Chest of Demons. Boris apologizes for kinda sorta aiding Zimbulu's plan, but also not aiding his plan, but Vincent forgives him, because forgiveness. Also, we found out that Vincent went to Terror Tech in 36. Not 1936, not 1836, just 36. Wow, he's really that old." Andrew commented.
"And no, they never explained which 36." Mew added.
"So, while Rose of Pollux sticks to 36 B.C, given that the episode was vague, it could be any 36." Andrew said.
"And that was The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo." Mew said.
"And while it's sad that the show ended the way it did, it's satisfying to see the fans continue the series, adding their own lore to the series. Whether it's Rose of Pollux using Greek mythologies for a show about ghosts and demons, or someone who made two original characters to fill Fred's role while giving Asmodeus a redemption arc, something that The 13 Curses could've gone with if it didn't suck ass. Even DeviantArt is on it this, to the point where they give all 13 ghosts a backstory and even a fan comic fixed The 13 Curses. So yeah, this incarnation of the show is becoming a cult classic recently, when back then, it was obscure as ass." Andrew said.
"Sure, it is sad the show got cancelled, at least we should be glad for what we got from it. Good characters, great plot, and some of the darkest villains in this franchise, which were never topped by anyone that came before, or after, this show. This has been the Critical Mew, and we reviewed this so you don't have to." Mew said.
"Wait, isn't there some-"
"You!" Hoopa shouted, bursting through the wall.
"Oh great, the Will Smith genie returned." Andrew snarked.
"You, demon! What are you still doing here?! How did you de-?!"
"Do you want to stop him, or do you want me to?" Mew asked.
"Nah, I can stop him myself," Andrew said, walking towards Hoopa.
"Oh, what is a demon human going to do to a Mythical like me?" Hoopa asked.
"What the Black God always does," Andrew said, summoning the souls of the damned to torment Hoopa.
"...Just make sure that most of him is still alive. Mainly so he could do the jobs Palkia has for him," Mew said, not reacting to the moment in front of him. "Anyways, what next for my review?"
Suddenly, a DVD landed on his desk. Mew looked at it, as his face turned to horror. "Oh come on!" Mew screamed.
"Hey, what's that DV-No, no, no, no. I'm going back to my place to learn some more tricks." Andrew said, jumping through the ring he stole.
Next time: Steven Universe The Movie
(Cue instrumental version of theme song)
Credits
The New Scooby-Doo Mysteries
The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo
Crystal Rose of Pollux's The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo second season and affiliated works
Super Mario 3D World
Kid Icarus
Disney's Hercules
Disney's Descendants
Spongebob Squarepants
Jeffrey Kistch's Character Chronicles: Scrappy Doo
Hercules And Xena The Animated Movie: The Battle For Mount Olympus
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Emperor's New Groove
Bulbapedia
Fantasia
The Little Mermaid
Phineas and Ferb
Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School
Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers
Robot Chicken
Invader Zim
WhiteFangKakashi300 works
Smosh Going To The Mountains