(A/N: Hey, everyone. Sorry this took me a while to get out. First off, the new place I'm at{forgot to mention it, but me and my family moved again} is next to Monument and the Rocky Mountains, so it's a lot colder over there. So, I haven't been able to use my laptop until recently due to the temperatures dropping below 0 for a few days. However, I'm back since it's starting to warm up, so that's a good thing.
As for this review, though, well, I know from my other two reviews that I have problems keeping a tight leash with my annoyance when it comes to the Steven Universe franchise. However, this time, I'm sure there's no issue in keeping down those extreme negative emotions{mainly because this is one of the rare pieces of media in this franchise that doesn't try to dump on Pink Diamond…much}, however, that doesn't mean I won't find something to complain about.
Anyways, hope you enjoy the review. Please leave a comment. And if you don't like the review, at least complain about the quality of it, not the opinions I gave. After all, these reviews aren't made to change anyone's opinions, they're just my opinions on the content that are being reviewed. If you like, or hate, anything that I review, then that's fine with me. Just don't send comments trying to get someone else to change their opinions to the ones you want.
With that out of the way, onto the review.)
A trio of glowing dots looked at the readers.
Critical Mew, looking for you
The glowing dots split into the Legendary Titans(excluding Regigigas). Andrew stood in the background, annoyed about being in the background.
Critical Mew, where are you?
The Critical Mew flies in, wearing a trench coat and a hat, giving the readers a wink.
Come on, Mew, where you been?
The Critical Mew took off the trench coat and used Transform, becoming a king, a dame with blonde hair, a waiter and an Elvis impersonator.
Trouble's on the loose again
A mysterious figure showed up, trying to crush Mew with a sandbag, only to narrowly miss. He looked behind him to the embodiment of stress, who proceeded to chase him to a door of things to review, which began to do the Thriller hip movements.
(Mew)
They're not gonna get you
(Critical Mew)
The Legendary Titans went in a protective circle in front of Mew, protecting him.
Uh uh, the Regi Trio's gonna help you
(Mew)
Mew was in a barrel full of toys, deciding to peek out only for the floor to break under him, causing him to grab a loose floorboard with his tail.
Ooh, the comment's gonna be there
Registeel jumped on the floorboard, launching Mew into the air. Regice and Regirock caught Mew in their arms. Regieleki and Regidrago let out a sigh of relief. Andrew was standing off to the side, pretending not to care, despite the fact he does.
And Andrew too
The Critical Mew floated past Lavender Town, only for the ghost of Marowak to appear, scaring him away.
Critical Mew, looking for you
Mew was surrounded by loads of Ghost and Dark-Type Pokemon, all about to ambush him.
Critical Mew, where are you?
Only for Andrew to fly a helicopter with a huge net, using said net to grab the Dark and Ghost-Type Pokemon. Andrew held up a sign that said, '13 Ghosts is the best Scooby-Doo series!'
Mew, Critical Mew
Mew
The stuff to be reviewed danced once again, doing the Thriller hip moves.
Critical Mew
Mew
A pair of eyes zoom out, showing Mew, Andrew and the Legendary Titans with the Tree of Beginning in the background.
Critical Mew!
The Critical Mew-Season One
Episode 14: Steven Universe Future
(Alternative Titles: Steven Universe Pain, Steven Universe Torture{My and my co-star came up with that one})
Tree of Beginning, Kanto Region-Late February/Early March
"I'm back, folks. And we all know what needs to be done," Mew said, holding up the DVD case for Steven Universe Future.
"Can't believe it's been almost a year since I reviewed this franchise. Part of me wants to go back through time and stop Regirock before he requests for this whole thing to be reviewed. But if I do that, then I wouldn't be able to defend Pink Diamond from the haters." Mew said.
"Anyways, we reached the end of an era…literally. The last entry in the Steven Universe franchise, outside of the Light trilogy, comics and artbooks, Steven Universe Future, or as the fans dubbed for reasons I'll get to later in the review, Steven Universe Pain is a mini series.
"However, I dubbed it Steven Universe Torture, since it's torture to review it. Especially since I know those who like the show and hate it when anyone gives it the slightest bit of criticism will be furious that I talk bad about their favorite series.
"However, since the Light trilogy and comics are non-canon, mainly due to the fact that the events of the games and comics are never referenced at all in the series. Though I do plan on reviewing the Light trilogy eventually just to be done with this franchise. And while I did get the artbooks to know the behind the scenes facts for the series, along with stuff that should've been in the show, I'm not an art person…or Pokémon, so I'm not reviewing those either.
"Anyways, time to dive into Steven Universe Future. Let's see if this show has fixed any of the problems from the previous show and movie, or if they made things worse, proving once and for all that the series should've ended back in the very first season." Mew said.
"Wait. Why was this show made in the first place?" Registeel asked.
"Oh, to show what happened after the events of the movie," Mew said.
"But why, though?" Registeel asked.
"Because Cartoon Network thought it was a good idea. Or, in a nutshell: because," Mew said.
"...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Registeel shouted.
"Congratulations, Cartoon Network. You did the one thing George Lucas dreamed of doing: giving Registeel a much bigger lung span than Luke did when he found out his father was Darth Vader," Mew snarked.
"Why?" Registeel asked sadly.
"Anyways, we begin the review with the intro. Why the intro, you may be asking? Well, because not only was the intro released two months prior to the show, but there's a moment in the intro that everyone talked about, that everyone was right about. So, I'm just going to show you the intro," Mew said.
[Garnet] We...
[Amethyst] We...
[Pearl] We...
[Steven] We...
[Lapis, Peridot and Bismuth] We…
*White Diamond's hands cover everything for a moment. The hands moved, revealing Steven, Connie, the Crystal Gems, the Diamonds, Spinel, the Off-Colors and some of the uncorrupted Gems*
[All] ...are in the future!
*The Warp Pad activates, changing the scenery from the hill near the Lighthouse to DeMayo's barn. Steven and the Crystal Gems run down the road, smiling*
Here we are in the future and it's bright
*The camera zooms in on Steven's shirt, before swiping off to the side. The scenery changes to a purple background, revealing Jasper, Cactus Steven, two Lapis, Bluebird, a pink White Diamond clutching her head, and a purple Gem creature, all with glowing eyes.*
*The scenes change to Steven driving Greg's car, while the Crystal Gems are riding in the car. Peridot hovers next to them, using her magnetic powers on a trash can lid, Connie is on Lion, and Lapis is flying via her water wings.*
I can't believe we've come so far
*Steven, Connie and the Crystal Gems go around the corner, passing citizens of Beach City, including Greg. Soon, Steven, Connie, the Gems and Greg are sitting around a fire on the beach*
Steven Universe Future, here we are!
[Peridot] *Standing up* Steven Universe Future!
"So, you're wondering which moment was important, huh? It's the moment where we see our 'antagonists' of the show. However, Jasper isn't evil, Cactus Steven, well, I'll explain soon, and giant worm creature is the thing I'm talking about. Everything else that was shown is evil, though.
"Anyways, back when this intro came out, everyone made theories that the giant worm creature is Steven but corrupted. And once the episode, 'I Am My Monster' aired, they were right, kinda." Mew said.
"However, I'll get to that when I get to the second half later in this review. For now, we're focusing on the first half, starting with 'Little Homeschool'. And we begin the episode with Steven uncorrupting a Cherry Quartz." Mew said, before smiling.
"That's a great choice. I wonder if Cherry Quartz's power ties in with the actual gem's: healing someone's emotional wounds, amplifying positive emotions while disputing the negative emotions. Arceus knows Steven needs it after everything that happened thanks to the Crystal Gems, the Diamonds and Spinel." Mew said.
[Open Int. Steven's Bathroom]
(Steven is seen filling his bathtub full of warm water. He retrieves three Diamond Aura Bottles from the mirror cabinet, winking at himself in the mirror, and drips a drop from each bottle into the bathtub.)
Steven: Mwah!
(Steven kisses his finger, coating it in his healing spit, and dips it into the water, turning it into rainbow-colored healing water. He then reaches for a bubbled gem next to him.)
Steven: Happy welcome-back day~
(Steven places the bubble in the bathtub and it pops, dunking the gem into the water. The formerly-corrupted Gem begins to reform, revealing to be a Cherry Quartz. Startled by her own return, the Quartz stumbles in the bathtub.)
Steven: Hello!
Cherry Quartz: Where am I? Who are you?
Steven: That used to be a loaded question, but now I can say with confidence that I'm Steven Universe! And you're in my bathroom.
Cherry Quartz: *looks at herself in the mirror* What happened to me? *gasps and grabs the plunger* What is this?! *points it at Steven in rage*
Steven: You were corrupted in a Diamond blast, but you've just been healed! And that is a plunger... *lowers the plunger down*
"...A plunger? You had Cherry Quartz, a gem that is known to heal emotional wounds, point a plunger at Steven? Did you do any research on Cherry Quartzes, Rebecca Sugar?
"And I get that Gems are going to be confused about the change in their environment and their appearances, and wonder why a random stranger is smiling at them, but why make Cherry Quartz act like this, especially since she only appears in this episode without knowing her history?
"Anyways, Steven drives Cherry Quartz around town while explaining what happened after the movie. All you need to know is that Lars has a bakery, Connie is studying for college and Steven and the Crystal Gems have made a school for Gems and humans," Mew explained.
Suddenly, the sound of a record scratching could be heard in the background. "Wait, what did I just say?" Mew asked.
"Steven built a school for Gems and humans," Regirock said.
"How? The series established that Steven didn't know what school was until Connie was let out for summer vacation, and Steven was 13 at the time. And the comics don't count since they never address that time Steven did go to school in the show, not to mention the ending contradicts with the years in which Steven was on Homeworld
" So, how does Steven know how to run a school? And don't say Connie, because from what we see after Season 1, she never talks about being in a teaching position, nor did she research how to run a school. What, is this something that'll never be explained? Because I want answers!" Mew exclaimed.
"Dude, chill. You're letting the show get to you just by the first episode," Regice said.
"It's not letting me give it a chance. The problem with the show, along with the franchise, is how it doesn't bother hiding its flaws, on top of having the show only have Steven's perspective, thus robbing us of actual character development and story." Mew ranted.
"Mew, take a deep breath…while I use Regirock as a meat shield," Regice said, hiding behind Regirock.
"What? Why me?" Regirock asked.
"Because you're the one who started this mess," Regice bluntly stated.
Before Regirock could protest, Mew inhaled deeply…and let out a loud, deep scream. A scream that began blowing stuff away, including Regirock. After a moment or two, Mew stopped, rubbing the spot between his eyes in annoyance.
"You're right, Regice. I can't let this series continue making me upset just so I can delay the review to rant. I'll be doing the exact same thing as this franchise has done: the definition of insanity." Mew said.
"What's the definition of insanity?" Regieleki asked.
"Listen to the lecture of Professor Vaas," Mew said, pointing off to the side.
Vaas: "Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity... Is... Doing the exact... Same fucking thing... Over and over again expecting... Shit to change... That. Is. Crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so - boom - I shot him. The thing is - He was right. And then I started to see it everywhere I looked -Everywhere I looked, all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing... Over and over and over and over again thinking, "This time is gonna be different. No-no-no-no-no please... This time is gonna be different..." ...I'm sorry, I don't like the way... (punches crate aside violently) ...you are LOOKING at me! Okay, do you have a fucking problem in your head? Do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? FUCK. YOU. (beat) It's okay, man. I'm gonna chill, hermano. I'm gonna chill. The thing is... all right? The thing is I killed you once already, and it's not like I am fucking crazy. It's okay. (beat) It's like water under the bridge. Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?"
"So in a nutshell, the franchise stagnated?" Regidrago asked.
"Finally, someone else sees the flaw with the franchise! Anyways, we see that Garnet and Pearl teach yoga and communication via phones respectively. You know, the very things they sucked at in the original series.
"Amethyst is great at her job, though. The reason why? Just watch," Mew said.
(Lastly, Steven brings Cherry Quartz to attend Amethyst's class, where Ocean Jasper, Biggs Jasper and Onion are gathered.)
Amethyst: Hello. I'm Professor Amethyst. Go on, take a seat wherever. I'll be teaching "How to Decide Stuff for Yourself 101". Today's lesson is: there is no lesson. *casts aside her glasses* Just do whatever you want for an hour. *turns to Steven* Hey, Steven, you wanna grab some lunch?
Steven: Sure!
(Steven and Amethyst begin to walk off, leaving a confused Cherry Quartz behind with the class.)
"If I wasn't reviewing right now, I would take the form of a human and take her class. Unfortunately, I'm stuck reviewing this, so I can't drop this review and take the class." Mew said.
"Anyways, while eating fry bit, Steven and Amethyst talk about Jasper. Mainly about Steven being upset that Jasper refuses to be a part of society," Mew said.
[Trans. Beach City Boardwalk]
(Steven and Amethyst are seen sitting on a bench, eating fry bits and drinking soda.)
Amethyst: *sighs* This school thing's such a cool idea. I love being a teacher. No one's ever looked up to me before, you know? Except for, uh, widdle baby Steven!
(Amethyst playfully rubs Steven's belly, causing the latter to laugh.)
Amethyst: Seriously, dude, it's been going great! Everyone wants to come and learn how to be an Earthling.
Steven: Uhh... not everyone.
Amethyst: Pfff! Man, forget her!
Steven: I don't know, I'm worried. We healed all these Gems, and built that town and the school, because I wanted to fix some of the bad things the Diamonds did. Knowing there's someone out there still hurting because of the Diamonds, because of... my mom... Uh- I mean, I know it's not my fault, but if there's a chance I could make it better, shouldn't I try?
(Amethyst slurps loudly at her soda, unimpressed by Steven's remark.)
Amethyst: I think you... should stop trying to fix everyone.
Steven: Yeah. You're right...
"I like Amethyst's character here. Not only did she mature, she also tells Steven that it's not his job, nor place, to help everyone. However, Steven ignores that and goes to see Jasper to try and convince her to rejoin society. Only for her to refuse, which annoys Steven." Mew said.
Steven: Okay. What are you even training for? There's no one left to fight.
Jasper: There's always someone to fight! There's just no one left worth fighting.
Steven: In that case, maybe you could come join us at Little Homeschool?
Jasper: No.
Steven: Come on. We're all learning and growing together.
(Jasper snorts in disinterest.)
Steven: An-And you could be a part of that.
Jasper: Sounds dumb.
Steven: You know, half those Gems are soldiers who fought by your side before they were corrupted and turned into monsters. They're lost and confused and still a little messed up, but they're getting the help they need.
Jasper: So? Who cares?
Steven: *getting angry* I do! And if I didn't care, you'd still be a monster too!
Jasper: And what? Now I owe you?
Steven: No!
Jasper: You think because you did something I never asked for, I'm going to obey you?
Steven:No! That's not-
Jasper: Like all the other Gems you used.
Steven: *frustrated* Arrggghhh! I only came here because I felt bad for you, but all of this is your own fault! All the other Gems were corrupted by the Diamonds, but- but you corrupted yourself just to win a fight, which you lost, to me! No one's making you stay here all alone in the middle of nowhere ready to fight a war that's been over for years! Are you just gonna sit here for centuries waiting for someone to give you a purpose?! Because I'm TRYING to give you one!
Jasper: Listen, weakling! You might have Pink Diamond's gem, but you are not my Diamond! *presses her finger on Steven's forehead* And I am not going to take orders from some weak, sappy, useless piece of dirt! If you think you're hard enough to tell me what to do, then fight me and prove it. *walks off*
Steven:Fine!
Jasper: *pauses, and turns around excitedly* ...Really?!
(Steven takes on a fighting stance.)
"I like Jasper's face. Not only is she excited to get something she's been waiting for a long time, which is a fair fight, but she also was expecting Steven to say no, so to her, this is a victory, along with the start of an actual good Death Battle." Mew said.
The Death Battle logo appeared on screen
"Anyways, they fight for a while, only for Jasper to gain the upper hand while giving Steven the ultimate 'You Suck' speech." Mew said.
(Steven quickly summons his bubble shield and Jasper punches him away, sending him rolling into the woods. Steven begins rolling away from Jasper, who chases after and attempts to punch him. She then delivers a kick, knocking Steven into a tree, which causes a bird nest to fall off a branch.)
Steven: No, no, no, no! Babies!
(Steven catches the bird nest and uses it to catch the falling baby birds. He then bubbles the nest and throws it into the bush, putting it out of harm's way.)
Steven: Touchdown!
(Jasper quickly approaches, and Steven summons his shield to block her attacks, which knocks him off his feet.)
Jasper: Stop trying to help those tiny flapping Earthlings, and fight me!
Steven: I'll never stop trying to help them! Or you!
(Jasper kicks Steven's shield away, causing it to dissipate as it hits a tree.)
Jasper: I don't need your help! *stomps on Steven* You're the one that needs help. You think you've beaten me, but you've never beaten me on your own. You've always been a fusion! You've always had your FRIENDS! Because you're nothing without them! You think everyone needs help!
Steven: *tears up* I- I just...
Jasper: But it's only you. No one is as pitiful as you!
"And Jasper hit below the belt! A bit too much, since Steven starts blushing in embarrassment," Mew said.
(Shaken by Jasper's words, a pink glow suddenly envelops Steven. Manifesting this new power, Steven pushes back against Jasper's stomp with great strength, knocking her into the air.)
"Oh, no. I didn't need to know what thou are doing with thy Jasper," Regidrago said.
"Actually, that's his Pink State." Mew said.
"Yeah, I see thou is pink. That doesn't ex-" Regidrago began.
"No, no, no. It's Pink Steven, but this time it doesn't involve Steven getting Pink ripped out of him," Mew said.
"...What?" Regidrago asked.
"I did some research. It's actually Pink's destructive powers that she suppressed due to an incident that I'm sure is going to make me upset at the writers for adding more fire to her hatedom. Anyways, it's only affecting Steven since he has PTSD along with an extensional crisis from the fact that everyone has their futures figured out and he doesn't," Mew explained.
"...But why did it begin with Jasper? Why not with Spinel, or the Diamonds, or even when he couldn't summon his shield?!" Regidrago asked.
"I don't know. My only guess is that Jasper finally opened his eyes to the truth, even if he tries to deny it later on in this show." Mew said.
"Anyways, Steven beat Jasper, but Jasper still wants nothing to do with him or Little Homeschool. However, Steven tries asking Jasper to teach him," Mew said.
Steven: I... think I had you all wrong. Maybe, you don't have something to learn from me. Maybe, I have something to learn from you.
(Confused, Jasper raises an eyebrow.)
Steven: Would you ever be interested in teaching?
Jasper: Tssh! At your crummy little school?
Steven: No, just me. You brought something out of me I didn't know I had.
(Jasper walks up to Steven, places her hand on his shoulder, and kneels down to him.)
Jasper: Consider that fight back there your first, and only, lesson. *begins walking off*
Steven: Well, can I come back to see you sometime?
Jasper: Do what you want. *walks away*
(Finally coming to a form of reconciliation with Jasper, a happy Steven begins walking back to town.)
"This episode did something right: Jasper, despite being defeated, refuses to do what Steven wants and still continues what she wants. Unfortunately, this is the only episode, outside of another episode, where someone tells Steven 'no' to what he wants.
"Anyways, Steven narrates the lesson he learned from the episode, only for Cherry Quartz to interrupt the moral to remind Steven the very reason why he brought her to Little Homeschool in the first place," Mew said.
Steven: Am I right?
Cherry Quartz: Yeah... So, uh... Can you sign off on my class schedule?
Steven: Oh, uh, right. Let me help you with that.
(Steven signs his name on Cherry Quartz's class schedule, finishing it off with a star.)
[END]
"Did you like Cherry Quartz? Well, too bad, because she was a one-off character created just to explain what happened after the events of the movie, despite the fact she has no idea who the majority of the characters are.
"Heck, we don't know her backstory, her powers, her possible weapon, which side of the war she was on, nothing! If they wanted to make a character to reintroduce everyone to the world of Steven Universe, then at least use a Crystal Gem that was recently uncorrupted. While they wouldn't know the human character, they would know who the Gems are.
"Or heck, if you're going to have someone be confused about everything on Earth, use a Homeworld Gem who had never been to Earth, was away on assignment, and never heard the news about Era 3. That would've worked, and that way, all of their backstory would've been explained.
"Then again, that would mean the Crewniverse had to think of the logical outcome, not the nonsensical one," Mew said.
"Anyways, just to breeze through the rest of the first half, and this review, I'm bringing back the lightning round, in which I summarize episodes that aren't important. And don't anyone lie to me: outside of a couple of episodes, the first half of the series isn't important since they didn't add much to the plot." Mew said.
"With that out of the way, onto the lightning round." Mew said, as he grabbed a microphone.
"Starting with episode 2, 'Guidance', Steven finds out that Amethyst allows Gems to do what they want, which is the same thing they've done on Homeworld. However, since Steven is the main character, he decides to have them do what he wants, which are things that they aren't capable of doing. But that backfired on Steven, so he and Amethyst fused to fix the problem.
"The third episode, 'Rose Buds', Steven, while dealing with his emotions towards Pink, invited 3 Rose Quartzes to hang out with him and the Crystal Gems, only for Pearl and Garnet to leave due to their own feelings, leaving Steven alone. Oh, and Amethyst is with the Famethyst, so she's not here to help out. Anyways, I would be upset about an episode that talks badly about Pink Diamond, but I think this scene managed to do its job well," Mew explained.
("Shy" and "Hippie" Rose stand on the Warp Pad, preparing to leave, as "Superfan" Rose hops in.)
"Hippie" Rose: Let's get out of here.
"Superfan" Rose: I'm trying! I-I just got to get this sleepy sack off!
Steven: Wait! *runs in* Please, please don't leave like this! I- I'm really sorry. It's not like I don't like you or don't want you here. It's just that... you look so much like her; like my Mom. I thought I was ready to move on and not have her hanging over me anymore, but I can barely be in a room with you because I still feel all twisted up about her. I've been pretending that I'm fine because it's not your fault, but... I'm not fine...
"Shy" Rose: We've been pretending, too.
Steven: Huh?
"Shy" Rose: To be fine.
"Superfan" Rose: We're not pretending! We're having so much fun!
"Hippie" Rose: Come on, let's give it a rest.
"Superfan" Rose: Fine...
"Shy" Rose: Your mom created us, too, and got us all bubbled, just for being Rose Quartzes.
"Hippie" Rose: But, you know, it's cool. It's whatever.
"Shy" Rose: It's not whatever. I don't expect you to understand. I swore I wouldn't talk about this.
Steven: But I do understand. Ah, man... If anyone can understand how you feel, it's me. I've been thinking about you guys like my mom times three, but we're really more like siblings.
"Superfan" Rose: Siblings? What's that?
Steven: Well, Mom created all of us, and we've all been living in her shadow. *unzips "Superfan" Rose from her sleeping bag* We'll always be related to her, but that means, we'll always be related to each other.
"Superfan" Rose: That's pretty awesome!
"Hippie" Rose: I'm so glad we're related.
"Superfan" Rose: Yeah! Siblings forever! *hugs Steven and giggles*
Steven: So, wait. Do you all still want to live here?
"Superfan" Rose: Oh gosh, no! I don't know why I said that.
Steven: Well, feel free to visit if you want. N-No pressure.
"Shy" Rose: Thanks, Steven.
Steven: Later, Rose Quartz.
"The writers didn't add any more crimes to Pink in this scene. They took the whole 'pretending to be a Rose Quartz' thing and showed the consequences, which was the actual Rose Quartzes getting their lives, and reputation, ruined by complete and total accident.
"I'll admit that while Pink is still a great character, she's not flawless. She made decisions that resulted in other people getting hurt since, thanks to the Diamonds never giving her the actual experience to be a leader, she never had the chance to determine the pros and cons of her decisions. And it's great to see Steven and the Rose Quartzes realize that, even with some of the accidental damage Pink'd done, the good thing that came out of that is being siblings." Mew said with a smile.
"Unfortunately, they lose that momentum with the next episode, 'Volleyball'." Mew said, taking a deep breath. "The episode begins with Steven healing Gems who got their, well, their namesakes, cracked. However, when trying to heal Pink Pearl, it doesn't work for some reason.
"So, along with Pearl, they head to the Reef, hoping that it will fix her. However, it states that it can't fix her since, while her Gem is fine, she's psychologically injured, thus the Reef can't heal her. And just when we thought it was White Diamond who did this, the writers decided to do something that gives Pink Diamond haters a lot of joy," Mew said.
[Trans. Int. Care Center]
Shell: Welcome to the Care Center. We have everything here to update or repair any Pearl.
(Pink Pearl steps onto a panel in the middle of the room.)
Shell: Scanning in progress.
Pink Pearl: So, how do I look?
Shell: I am sorry. There is nothing I can do.
Steven: But you just told us you could repair any Pearl!
Shell: Her physical form shows damage, but her pearl is perfectly fine. This injury must have been so impactful that it continues to manifest despite the fact that her pearl has been repaired.
Steven: So, it's like... psychological?
Pink Pearl: That's absurd! I am fine.
(Pink Pearl turns to Steven and Pearl, forcing a smile, as more cracks manifest on her eye.)
Steven: *frightened* Ahh...
Pearl: How could White be so careless?
Pink Pearl: *chuckling* Oh, no, Pearl. You've got it all wrong. Pink did this.
Pearl: What did you say? *approaches Pink Pearl*
Steven: Pearl, no!
Pink Pearl: It's a funny story, really. Once, Pink got tired of asking Yellow and Blue for her own colony, so she went straight to White. Of course, White told her she wasn't fit to run one, and, well, that set her off.
Pearl: "Set her off?" What are you talking about?
Pink Pearl: You remember how she was with her destructive powers, throwing tantrums left and right. She had a scream that could crack the walls. She didn't mean to hurt me. *chuckles* I just happened to be standing too close to her that time and-
Steven: *covers his ears in anguish* Doesn't matter, I'm gonna fix it!
Pearl: Destructive powers? Pink didn't have destructive powers; she was a healer! She didn't throw tantrums; she kept her feelings secret.
Pink Pearl: The Pink I knew couldn't keep a secret to save her gem.
Pearl: Are you kidding? If anything, she was too good at keeping secrets, even from me!
"I know they did this just to piss me off. However, since I promise I wouldn't let this show get to me anymore than it did, I'm going to let this guy do the emotion for me," Mew said.
Caddicarus: *Head over a soufflé* "I'M RISING LIKE A SOUFFLÉ!"
"Why make Pink Diamond the one who injured Pink Pearl?! Heck, that contradicts what was established in the End of an Era artbook. And in that case, it turns out that the other Diamonds shattered Pink Pearl because she called them out for making Pink Diamond miserable.
"But that's not enough for them. No, not even close. When they gave Pearl to Pink, which was the concept art for this episode, by the way, they gaslight Pink by making it her fault that they shatter Pink Pearl, thus causing Pink Diamond to blame herself and vow not to break her new Pearl!
"Seriously, why continue adding more reasons to hate Pink Diamond and trying to make the other Diamonds sympathetic when even the original concept has them shattering a Pearl, Pink Diamond's best friend, because a common servant dared tell the oppressive tyrants off for being toxic abusers?
"Heck, the only one I actually believe deserves redemption, out of the three Diamonds, is Blue Diamond! And that's because she actually cares about Pink, even if she's misguided. And, as I have researched, some people need to be told that what they're doing is wrong so they can work to become better people.
"But White and Yellow? No, they don't deserve redemption at all, since they knew what they did was wrong and they were willing to continue until Steven called them out on it. So, again, it makes sense to have White Diamond, the Gem who we establish will do anything to prove that she's right, to be the one who harmed Pink Pearl just to make Pink think it's her fault.
"Or heck, why not Yellow? We see her as someone who attacks first, asks questions never. And she's the one who was, besides White, the most abusive towards Pink, from what we've seen. So, it would make sense that she harmed Pink Pearl out of anger that Pink Diamond was being friends with the 'slave'.
"But no, that has to mean the Crewniverse has to stop beating Pink Diamond with a dead horse for a moment to think. To realize that Pink was right for leaving a toxic relationship, despite what the show, and the haters, try to claim otherwise. And they can't say that because that has to mean they're the ones who was wrong, so they decide to paint a bigger target on Pink Diamond's back by having her accidentally injure Pink Pearl, thus justifying White's narcissistic, perfectionist tyrannical rule by taking Pink Pearl away and taking away her personality for 8,000 years." Mew ranted.
"Anyways, Steven is finally at his breaking point when it comes to hearing how many skeletons are in Pink Diamond's closet," Mew said.
Steven: *groans loudly* Stop it! I can't deal with one more horrible thing she did, Okay?! (The Pearls gasp.) I don't want to hear about it! I don't even want to think about it!
Pearl: Steven...!
Steven: I just... want to fix it!
"Honestly, I don't blame Steven in this case. It's how I'm reacting to the number of times that the Crewniverse continues to take cheap shots at Pink's character.
"In fact, if, for some ungodly reason, they ever decide to bring back Steven Universe, they should fix their mistakes by not taking dumps on Pink Diamond. She's a flawed character, and they intentionally show her character development in reverse just so people can hate her.
"However, I get the feeling it's like Meg from Family Guy. Without them hating Pink Diamond, then they don't have a lightning rod to direct their hatred at. So, of course, they made Pink Diamond specifically for that purpose, and I hate that idea.
"In fact, it's just like Scrappy-Doo all over again. I wouldn't be surprised if they started a club or something due to them being hated on, and that's not a good thing.
"Anyways, Steven's breakdown causes the Reef to try and rejuvenate the two Pearls, who fused due to realizing that they have been making excuses to justify Pink hurting them." Mew said with a frown.
Lindsay Ellis: Thanks, I hate it.
"And they managed to escape the Reef. However, the Pearl fusion reveals that both Pearls finally got the whole picture when it comes to Pink," Mew said.
Steven: ... I'm so sorry. The whole trip was for nothing.
Mega Pearl: No, it wasn't for nothing. Your mother's Pearls never had the whole picture. One knew your mother was trying to change, but she couldn't understand why. The other never expected her to change at all. Now, I get to understand everything. Now, they finally get to have each other.
"Again, hate this episode!" Mew declared.
"Anyways, the fifth episode, 'Bluebird', has the return of Aquamarine and Eyeball, but as a fusion known as Bluebird. When Steven tries to remind the Crystal Gems about the threat the two Gems posed individually, they don't take it seriously," Mew said.
[Trans. Int. Steven's Bathroom]
(Greg brushes his hair and Steven knocks on the door.)
Steven: Sorry, Dad. Emergency meeting. Don't panic. I think Bluebird is a fusion of Aquamarine and "Eyeball"!
Amethyst: Well, duh.
Garnet: It's pretty obvious.
Steven: What?! Well, how come you're all so calm about this? Did you forget that Aquamarine kidnapped me? How about the fact that "Eyeball" tried to stab me and ratted me out while I was on trial? They must've fused because they both hate me!
Garnet: That was them. This is Bluebird.
Steven: But she pranked me earlier today! She put a sign on my back that said I... smelled good, switched my juice with tomato soup, neatly stack toilet paper... on top of my car?
Pearl: None of that stuff sounds particularly malicious.
Amethyst: Besides, don't you like tomato soup?
Steven: Yeah, but isn't it convenient that Bluebird just showed up here at my house?
Pearl: Steven, you've literally invited all problematic Gems from across the universe to come here and learn a better way of living.
Steven: Well, right.
"On one hand, Steven has a point. On the other, I find it funny that Pearl points out that Steven put himself in this situation. So, I'll let Bender have this moment," Mew said.
Bender: *Closes dictionary and stands up* -now that IS irony!
"However, after a bunch of false pretenses, it turns out Steven's suspicions were right. And, I'll admit, this scene is funny," Mew said.
Bluebird: An era ago, there were two Gems celebrated for taking down Homeworld's greatest traitor. But then, they were cast out, forgotten, when the traitor duped all of Homeworld into loving him instead. Now, they've come to Earth for their revenge! And forever shall he rue the names - *unfuses*
Aquamarine: Aquamarine!
"Eyeball": And Ruby!
Aquamarine: Well?! It's us!
"Eyeball": It's always been us, and you never knew!
Steven: I always knew. Everyone knew.
Aquamarine: What?!
"Eyeball": If you knew, they why were your Gems bein' so nice to us, huh?!
Steven: That's 'cause they're nice! They're nice people!
"It's funny, because Eyeball and Aquamarine really are that stupid to think Steven and the Crystal Gems, beings who fused 70% of the time, don't know a fusion when they see one," Mew chuckled.
"Anyways, Eyeball and Aquamarine tries to blackmail Steven into destroying everything he made by threatening to harm Greg if he doesn't. However, Greg makes the ultimate sacrifice: he decides to eat Taco Be-just kidding, he cuts his hair," Mew said.
Greg: ... Aah! That's enough!
"Eyeball": Hey!
(Greg swipes "Eyeball"'s chisel knife and cuts his hair and falls.)
Steven: No!
Aquamarine: What!?
(Steven catches Greg.)
Steven: Dad, are you okay?
Aquamarine: Ugh! Disgusting! *throws Greg's hair*
Greg: *whimpering* Oh, my baby! *crying*
"So of course, Steven beats the two Gems up for forcing Greg to cut his hair. …Oh, and also for everything else, but mainly Greg's hair. However, when the two fail to fuse, Steven tries to give them a speech about changing for the better." Mew said.
Steven: Tsk, tsk, tsk. You guys fused just because you hate me, didn't you?
"Eyeball" and Aquamarine: Yes!
Steven: If that's the only reason, then it's no wonder you can't keep it together.
Aquamarine: What are you talking about?
Steven: There are so many other reasons to fuse, like friendship and responsibility... and love. Imagine how much better it would feel to fuse to support each other instead of tearing someone down. Your life would fill with warmth and friendship and joy, and love and -
"Eyeball": Wowie, wow! He is so annoying!
Aquamarine: I hate him so much!
"Eyeball" and Aquamarine: I know! Me too! *they fuse again*
Steven: Are you kidding me?
"Congratulations, Steven. Now you know how your mom feels when she deals with her haters," Mew said.
"Anyways, Steven and the Crystal Gems defeat Bluebird, who leaves while swearing vengeance. However, they're not appearing in this show again, so whatever," Mew said.
"Then we get to 'A Very Special Episode', my worst episode. In fact, I think Animat said it best," Mew said.
Animat: *Through gritted teeth* Oh, my favorite.
"And no, it's not because it's a PSA episode. It's not because of the reappearances of Rainbow 2.0 and Sunstone. In fact, I enjoy the moments where Rainbow 2.0 and Onion hangs out.
"No, it's because, for a series that addresses that Steven has mental health problems, this episode treats it as a joke. All to teach a moral about 'managing your time well'. I would be lying if I say I was surprised that Cartoon Network aired this, but given Teen Titans Go! is still airing for almost a decade, it proves they're willing to do anything just for a cheap laugh.
"However, imagine people who watch this episode and have mental health problems. They'll feel like they're getting attacked just because they supposedly can't manage their time just as well as people who don't have mental health problems. Which is false, since everyone has issues managing their time, regardless of their mental health, and people still work to fix that.
"But no, let's make fun of Steven and his problems. Because why actually have a joke about something else when we can turn our main character and his deteriorating mental state into a joke?! In fact, here's a present, Crewniverse." Mew said, holding up a paw.
"Clearly, you can't see since my anatomy prevents me from separating these, but I'm trying to flip you the Pidgeotto," Mew said.
"You know what would've made this episode better? Not making Steven's suffering a joke. I don't care if it's a 'Very Special Episode' thing, where a character dies due to making bad life choices in a television show or PSA, Steven not managing time well does not warrant him and his problems being a joke for 11 minutes." Mew ranted, before taking a deep breath.
"Anyways, the next episode, 'Snow Day', has the Crystal Gems, trying to spend time with Steven again, bring back Steven Tag during a snow day, while also treating him like the child he was during the original series.
"Excluding Amethyst, who did make sure to not dump her emotional baggage on Steven, it's too little, too late in Pearl and Garnet's cases. Anyways, Steven decides to tell the Crystal Gems about how he feels about what they're doing." Mew said.
(Steven blasts through the bombardment and lands successfully on the lighthouse's roof, staring down menacingly.)
Steven: You shouldn't have messed with me. Huh? (And Steven is tagged by the unlikely Sapphire.)
Sapphire: Tag.
(Everything shatters around Steven. He falls off the lighthouse.)
Steven: Oh, no. Is this the end of my adult life?
(Crash landing. Steven Tag is finished.)
Amethyst: Ha ha!
Ruby: Sapphire, you did it! You're the best! *They fuse back into Garnet*
Garnet: You've been tagged.
Amethyst: You have to tuuurn into little Steeveeen!
Pearl: Those are the rules!
Steven: Hmph. No.
Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl: Do it! Do it! Do it!
Cat Steven: Meow.
Steven: *sighs* Et tu, Cat Steven?
Cat Steven: Meow.
Steven *groans*: OKAY! I'll do it!
(Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl watch as Steven shape-shifts into his younger self.)
Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl: He's so cute!
Steven: No, I'm not! This is tough for me, you know? I-I feel like no matter how hard I try, you still see me like this!
Amethyst: Buddy, we just want to spend time with you.
Pearl: Yes, like we did when you were-
Steven: A kid?
(The Crystal Gems frown with concern.)
Steven: I don't want to disappoint you, but this isn't me anymore. Please, I need you to see me...
(he shape-shifts back into his actual age.)
Steven: ...for who I am now.
(Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl hug Steven.)
Garnet: Please forgive us.
Amethyst: We didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Pearl: We just miss you, Steven.
(Steven's eyes well with tears and his lip quivers.)
"A heartwarming moment, true. But like I said, it's too little, too late in Pearl and Garnet's case. More so Garnet because she made it all about her when the truth about Pink was revealed, instead of giving Steven time to process who his mom actually was.
"Anyways, the next episode, 'Why So Blue?', has Steven and Lapis try to convince two more Lapis to stop terraforming a planet and join Little Homeschool. They kinda succeeded since one of the Lapis attends at the end of the episode.
"Then we get to 'Little Graduation', while planning for the graduation party of the Off-Colors, Steven finds out that Lars and Sadie aren't dating. Not only that, but the Suspects are no longer a band, due to each member pursuing their own careers, Lars and the Off-Colors are heading back to space, and Sadie has been dating Shep, a non-binary person, for two months." Mew said.
Caddicarus: *Steven's face photoshopped over Caddi's face* Oh no!
"Yep, that's Steven's reaction in a nutshell. Anyways, Steven accidentally summons a dome that threatens to crush everyone. When they tried to get Steven to open up, he denies he has problems, then acts like Lars and Sadie are the ones who need help, only for them to explain to him that they tried," Mew said.
Steven: I think this dome activated as a reaction to some powerful feeling someone here has been bottling up. And, I guess we all know who that is. Lars!
Lars: What are you talking about?!
Steven: We won't be able to leave until you work out your feelings towards Sadie. You guys haven't even talked since you got back.
Sadie: We did, though... Look, Steven. The two of us tried to reconnect a few times, but we both just grew apart.
Lars: Sadie knows I miss her, but she knows how happy I am that she found someone better for her.
Shep: Awww.
Sadie: And Lars knows I'm really glad he found himself in space with his new Gem friends.
Steven: But when did this happen?! I didn't see any of this!
Sadie: That's because it was private.
Jenny: ... *cough*
Steven: But, I thought you were only leaving because you were jealous of Shep.
Lars: I'm leaving because I like being in space. There are still adventures waiting for us out there. We can take what we've learned to other planets!
Steven: But if there's nothing to work out... *looks nervously at everyone* Is it getting claustrophobic in here, o-or is it just me?
(In response to Steven's emotion, the dome closes in on itself. Those trapped try to halt its progress through pushing.)
"However, they all survived because Shep manages to calmly explain Steven's problems, without brushing them off. Unlike certain Gems," Mew said.
Jenny: Steven, You wanna get rid of this dome already?!
Steven: Okay. I can control this. I just gotta think real hard!
Shep: Hey, Steven?
Steven: Not now, Shep. I need to concentrate.
Shep: Just, hear me out-
Steven: Look! If I don't figure out how to get rid of this dome, all my friends are gonna die!
Lars: Wouldn't be the first time.
Shep: Well, but, your magic's all about your feelings, right? I don't know. It just seems like you're sad about all your friends drifting away, so you trapped us all in this dome to keep us from leaving.
Steven: I don't see the connection.
Shep: Maybe, you're trying to figure yourself out right now, and you want your friends along to help you through it.
Steven: It's just that, I've always been trying to help my friends! I don't know who I am without them!
Sadie: Steven, you're great, but you need to let us live our own lives.
Shep: If you don't give people room to grow, you'll suffocate them. In this case, literally.
Steven: I know. I don't want to hold any of you back. I just can't help it if my dumb heart misses you guys.
Jenny: Awww, Steven!
Sadie: We'll still be your friends.
Lars: Even if we're light-years away.
Steven: You guys...
(Steven's normal color comes back and the dome dissipates, freeing everyone from impending doom.)
"Heartwarming as well, but as I found out, this somewhat hurt Steven, according to TVTropes some some people on the internet. However, I don't see how, so we'll never mention again. Anyways, everyone leaves, Steven listens to Sadie and Shep's song, and he hands over Little Homeschool to the Crystal Gems to try and figure out his own stuff.
"Which brings us to the last episode for the first half, 'Prickly Pair'. In this episode, Steven tries to cope via raising plants. However, he makes a Cactus Steven, who he vents to about everything.
"However, this causes Cactus Steven to become angry and fights Steven and the Crystal Gems until Steven realizes his mistake and apologizes. Despite that, Cactus Steven leaves, causing Steven to think he should keep his emotions bottled up." Mew said.
Steven: He's repeating me! He's repeating everything I said to him. *gasps* He's copying me. Th-that's it! Guys, stand back, I've got an idea! Cactus Steven, get a load of this! *drops his shield; it rolls away and disappears*
Steven: I'm sorry I mistreated you. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone- you're just learning from the only role model you've got: me! I should've given you more of the love and kindness that you deserve. So...who wants a hug?
Cactus Steven: Huh?
Steven: *hugs C.S.'s leg*
Cactus Steven: *grunts, then leans down to hug Steven*
Amethyst: *pointing* Look!
(Pink flowers bloom all over C.S.'s body.)
Cactus Steven: I'm sorry. *steps back*
Steven: *teary-eyed, covered in spikes* Ohhhkay... C'mon, big guy. Why don't I take you back to the dome?
Cactus Steven: No!
Steven: W-wait! Where are you going? Please don't leave, I-I'll fix up the dome extra nice for you!
(C.S. picks a flower off his own back and offers it to Steven. Steven takes it. C.S. bursts out of the front of the house.)
Amethyst: Hey- dude?
Pearl: Is there anything you need to talk about...?
Steven: ...I think I've said enough.
[END]
"Anyways, that was the first half of this show. I'll be back after the commercials to review the second half," Mew said, heading to another portion of the Tree of Beginning.
"Commercials!" Registeel exclaimed, playing the commercial.
(Cue instrumental version of theme song)
(This review has been brought to you by Little Homeschool)
(Steven is seen warping into Little Homeworldl.)
Steven: Hey, all you Gems out there in the universe! Have you been feeling lost and confused in this new era? Then come on down to Little Homeschool! Are you used to destroying things? Then learn to be constructive instead! Are you used to plotting? Then you can tend to this plot of land! Feeling lost without direction from the Diamonds? Come and find your center. Everyone deserves a chance to change, so come on down today!
*Screen turns to black as the commercial ends*
(Cue instrumental version of theme song)
"Finally, a normal commercial in a long time. Which reminds me, we should stop doing commercials after the next review," Mew said.
"How come?" Regieleki asked.
"Just so we don't risk another commercial getting ruined by something we can't control." Mew said.
"We're still doing the #SaveScrappy commercial, right?" Registeel asked.
"Yep. That's the last commercial we're doing anyways." Mew said.
"Anyways, how do we begin the second half of Steven Universe Future?" asked Mew.
(Camp Pining Hearts song plays. "Starring, Olivia Bouchard, Jasmine", and "Starring, Victor Tourtiére, Rodrigo".)
Rodrigo: Oh, Jasmine, I wish you would fly into my arms, *voice fades* but every time...
(Later that day.)
Steven: Wha- *to Peridot* What-
Steven & Peridot: *shouting off screen* WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!
(Steven and Peridot appear on screen.)
Peridot: What is with this Rodrigo guy!? He has no charisma!
Steven: And can we talk about this cinematography?
Peridot: GAHHHH! They've changed all the characters, and I don't care about any of them! *lifts up the television dramatically, slamming it on the ground* How could you do this to me?! *leaning over the TV, sobbing* Camp Pining Hearts helped me escape when everything around me was in chaos.
Steven: CPH brought us together.
Peridot: And now... LOOK AT THIS NIGHTMARE!
"Ah, the complaints of a reboot. That's exactly how everyone reacted to Teen Titans Go! and the recent Scooby-Doo movies, and yet Cartoon Network and Warner Bros. only care about making money instead of making a good plot." Mew said.
"Anyways, Steven and Peridot decide to try and make their own reboot using Steven's dreams. However, all it does is make Steven relieve every traumatic moment in his life. However, while it's sad that Steven would think what I'm about to show would happen, I actually chuckle a bit due to Steven thinking something like that would happen," Mew said.
("Stefan" looks at Rodrigo but he doesn't. "Stefan" sounds weird, but Jasmine and "Stefan" exit his dream. Connie Maheswaran and Steven appear in his dream by turning Connie Maheswaran into Obsidian. Obsidian tries to stomp Steven by squashing him.)
"I don't know why, but it's funny. More so when I add this line from Robot Chicken." Mew said.
Luke: That's...chk...very unlikely.
"And no, this isn't like 'A Very Special Episode', where Steven's problems were a joke. Here, it's funny, because while, yeah, he's suffering from this, Steven's dreams are just like anyone else: random, weird, and ending right before you get the results. So, despite using his powers, Steven is clearly experiencing something normal for once.
"Anyways, we get to see how tired Steven is from fixing everything, yet, thanks to the Crystal Gems, it's all he knows." Mew said.
Steven: *sighs heavily* ...Peridot? *walks over to Peridot* Peridot! Come on, we gotta stop! (Peridot does not respond.) Are you listening to me? Why won't you look at me?!
(Steven turns her around, her gem and visor have been filled in with the SMPTE color bars and the rest of her face is neutral. Steven's past house disappears in his dream. Steven's pajamas turn into his own clothes and sees everything.)
Steven: Peridot?! Peridot! Where are you? Peridot! *runs*
[Trans. Int. Steven's Dream]
(Steven enters at Beach City but it exits out. Peridot walks alone at Steven's own house.)
Steven: Peridot! Wait! *grunts; runs up* Stop! Don't go in there! Please! I still really want to hang out with you! (Steven's door then disappears.) Huh?
(Steven jumps out of the black hole.)
Steven: Peridot! (Steven's house turns into a glitch over SMPTE color bars.) We've always had something to fix together! The Cluster, the Diamonds, or Spinel! I don't think I know how to be friend without something to fix! But I- I just can't do it anymore! I'm so tired. Now I'm even doing it in my dreams! *starts crying* I'm sorry I can't do this for you! Please don't leave...! Don't... Leave...
"Fortunately, Peridot, realizing how much Steven is suffering, decides to stop their plans." Mew said.
Peridot: *initially muffled* Steven? Steven! STEVEN!
(Steven is in bed, crying.)
Peridot: Steven, I saw everything! *stammers* It's fine! We don't have to do this anymore. I don't care about the show, and I definitely don't care about Rodrigo! Ugh, I'm such a clod!
Steven: But I really wanted to spend time with you! I just wanted an excuse to hang out.
Peridot: We don't need an excuse to hang out.
Steven: Can we still watch CPH together? Even if it sucks?
Peridot: *laughing, removing her visor* Of course.
"And the episode ends with them laughing at how bad the reboot is.
"Then we get to 'Bismuth Casual', which has the reappearance of Connie. So, how do we reintroduce Connie as a character in this episode?" Mew asked.
"Um, actually Mew, this is more of a Bismuth and Pearl episode than it is a Connie episode," Regirock reminded.
"...Dang it. Okay, what do they do for this episode?" Mew asked, before an idea came to mind. "Wait, I know. They probably brought back the Mystery Girl from 'Last One Out of Beach City'! I mean, it was due to her, along with reconciling with Greg, that Pearl began trying to be friends with humanity as a whole. I mean, we haven't seen her since the original series, so surely they'll bring her ba-"
Pearl: Yoo-hoo! There you are! *runs over to three people*
Jaime: Yo, Pearl! *they stand up and start laughing*
Bismuth: Wow, so that's Pearl's fan club, huh? They seem so... *Pearl pulls a roll of toilet paper out of her gem and throws it to Khadijah and they laugh* friendly and interesting.
Steven: It's like she has a whole other life going on.
Pearl: *waving them over* Steven, Connie, Bismuth, this is Khadijah, Jaime, and Brandish. They're just a few of my human friends.
"...Where's Mystery Girl? Wait, don't tell me. It's because she looks exactly like Pink in her Rose alter ego, and that would set Pearl's character development back a lot if she interacts with someone who looks like her, right?" Mew asked sarcastically before groaning.
"You know, Crewniverse, you had Pearl's interaction with Mystery Girl being the thing that helped Pearl, not hurt her. And this episode would've brought things close circle by showing Steven and the Crystal Gems that just because someone looks like Pink Diamond doesn't always mean things have to be awkward.
"But no, you have to bring up things that were helpful to other characters, then toss them aside once they served their purpose in their only episode." Mew said, letting out a deep sigh.
"Anyways, Steven is awkward around Connie's friends due to forgetting how to interact with humans. You know, thanks to every Gem attacks and missions that the Crystal Gems had brought him on. Not to mention the ones which Steven had tagged along, or that one time he brought Lars and Sadie to an island.
"Oh, and Bismuth has a crush on Pearl. …Wait, what?" Mew asked, shocked.
(Bismuth skates over to Steven.)
Bismuth: Hey, Steven. Done tearing it up?
Steven: Bismuth, I think I've forgotten how to talk to humans.
Bismuth: Really? Have you tried one of these?
(Bismuth pulls out the roll of toilet paper that Pearl gave her, and gives it to Steven.)
Bismuth: Pearl says it's supposed to help.
Steven: Maybe later...
Bismuth: What's the deal? I thought you got along great with humans. What about Connie and Greg?
Steven: Greg's my dad, he doesn't count. And Connie, it's fine when it's just us, but I don't know how to talk to her when she's with her friends. You did fine making friends, right, Bismuth?
Bismuth: Oh, yeah, um. It was alright.
Steven: Alright? It was what you came for, wasn't it?
Bismuth: Uh, well... um.
(Bismuth looks at Pearl.)
Steven: W-Wait, Pearl? Bismuth, you're here for Pearl?
(Bismuth covers Steven's mouth.)
Bismuth: Shh!
(Pearl looks at Bismuth and Steven. They wave at each other.)
Steven: Are you trying to hide it from her?
Bismuth: I just don't want to take her away from what she's got. She's got her own thing going on. She's like the Pearl I remember, but a little different. She's happier. I just wanted to catch up.
"Okay, I would be okay with this relationship. Except, there's one problem: there was no build up for Bismuth's crush on Pearl. And before anyone tells me that Bismuth was 'flirting' with Pearl during the events of 'Bismuth', know that she was also doing the same to Garnet.
"And, when it comes to relationships in this franchise, aren't we supposed to see the build up? We see it with Pearl's one-sided romance with Pink Diamond. We see it with Pink Diamond and Greg. We see it with Ruby and Sapphire. We see it with Steven and Connie. We see it with Pearl and Amethyst. Heck, we see it with Lapis and Peridot somewhat and with Lars and Sadie's friendship.
"So, why not see it with Bismuth's crush for Pearl? Like a couple of hints, or maybe she blushes at times whenever Pearl compliments her, or something!
"Oh, wait, that's asking for the writers to take time to think about Bismuth's character outside of her being a jokester blacksmith who is willing to do anything to defeat Homeworld in the original series, and once that part of her was taken away, she literally had no other character traits besides being laid-back." Mew said.
"Anyways, Connie reaffirms her friendship with Steven, the two fuse into Stevonnie, they win something, thus they get to choose a song, and Pearl possibly realizes that Bismuth may have feelings for her.
"The next episode, 'Together Forever', reinforces the reason why I hate Garnet. Her and the two Gems that fuse to make her," Mew said.
"So the episode is all about Steven realizing that soon, Connie will be in college and Steven still doesn't know what to do about his future. So, he tries to get some advice from Garnet. However, instead of taking a little bit of time to give him advice, as she usually does in the franchise, she does this," Mew said.
(Steven walks down from his room and sees Garnet.)
Steven: Garnet? You're still home?
Garnet: Steven.
Steven: *runs over* I could really use your advice.
Garnet: Mmm. Come back to me later. I gotta split.
(Garnet unfuses into Ruby and Sapphire.)
"...And somehow Garnet has fans?" Mew asked, annoyed.
"Anyways, Steven follows Ruby to her Gem Scouts meeting, where he tries to ask her for advice," Mew said.
Ruby: So what did you want to talk about?
Steven: Every time I'm talking with Connie, I just realize that she knows exactly what she wants to do with her life, and I don't. When we're Stevonnie, I feel ready for anything. But on my own, I feel lost and stuck. I... *sighs* Ruby, what do I want?
Ruby: Wow, that's a tough one.
Steven: I know! Connie will probably go far away for college. And I'm gonna stay here, not knowing what to do and so far from her! I want to stay with her, like you and Sapphire. *paus* Wait, all I want to do is be with Connie, so maybe that means that... Connie is my future!
Ruby: *excited, running* STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN- *sees fire under her feet* Woop! *runs offscreen to grab a towel and puts it on the grass, putting it out* Ah! STEVEN! Propose!
Steven: What? Propose? Well, Ruby, I'm not-I'm not sure if this is, uh...
Ruby: Don't say you haven't thought about it.
Steven: *blushes* I...Of course, I have.
Ruby: *jumps onto him* Do it! DO IT! DO IT!
Steven: Y-you sure?
Ruby: Buddy! It worked for me! And if you do it, you'll have the honor of receiving this... *holds up a badge* proposal badge! *Steven gasps* If you're not so sure...You should ask someone who can *winks* see the future.
"First of all, Ruby, why would you suggest for two teens to marry? And seriously, using the whole 'it worked for me, so it'll work for you' is the dumbest reason to tell a minor. And two, you're telling him to go see Sapphire? She only sees one future, so she'll tell him to d-Oh, Arceus no." Mew said, hiding his face in his paws.
[Ext. On the beach, Sapphire is teaching her class near the water.]
Sapphire: Alright, class...
Steven: *running over* Sapphire!
Sapphire: Steven, right on time.
Steven: Sapphire! I'm sorry to interrupt your class! Ruby says I should propose to Connie, but she said to check in with you and your future vision.
Sapphire: I understand. Let's run the numbers, shall we? *walks closer to the sand, where Steven follows* Alright class, using the concepts we've reviewed so far, we're gonna calculate the probability of Steven's proposal to Connie succeeding. *draws in the sand* Let's start with the probability she will be willing to spend her life with someone. Then we'll multiply that by your differential factor of sociocultural marriage acceptance, which is then multiplied by the happiness potential of your cohabitation, multiplied by the factor for fear of engagement, multiplied by the intensity of the reciprocal love for each other, and finally, multiplied by the robustness of your life plans. *to Steven* Are you following so far?
(Steven looks back at the sand, seeing complicated mathematical equations in the sand.)
Steven: N-N-No?
(The tide comes in and washes away the equations in the sand.)
Steven: Oh no! Sapphire, your work!
Sapphire: And there we have it. *chuckles* Do you understand, Steven? My marriage with Ruby, our fusion as Garnet, eluded my future vision, defied every odd, and changed the course of time! We can write equations in the sand all day, but a wave of chance can just come crashing in and wash it all away. Love-it's unquantifiable! Even with my clairvoyance, I know better than anyone that true love makes the impossible...possible! Do it, Steven. Do it! Do it! Do it!
Steven: Yeah. Yeah! *to the class* Alright, friends! Take a good look at this guy while you can, cause today may be his last day as Steven Quartz Cutie Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe! (Class cheers)
"So, going with one future that wouldn't make sense, along with peer pressure from Ruby and Sapphire since they claim to know true love better than the person who officiated their marriage, Steven plans on proposing to Connie, complete with a picnic and a song. All so he and Connie could be Stevonnie for life.
"Which I'm not going to show, since it's not going to help out Steven's case. Not to mention the Caleb Hyles version just makes it seems like Steven is self-loathing himself, so I'm not showing. However, when Steven asks the question, Connie does the smart thing and gently shoots down the idea, pointing out the very logic that Ruby and Sapphire should know. Especially Sapphire." Mew said.
Connie: *claps* Steven, that's so beautiful!
(Connie pauses, seeing Steven get down on one knee and hold up her glow bracelet.)
Connie: S-Steven?
Steven: Connie... will you marry me?
Connie: What?
Steven: Let's get married and live as Stevonnie!
Connie: What?! *chuckles* Steven, maybe we should talk about this first?
Steven: I know you might think I'm being sentimental, but this makes sense! For example, I don't know what you've been studying, but Stevonnie does! We can go to college together!
Connie: Steven, come on, we're really young!
Steven: You... You don't want to be Stevonnie with me?
Connie: Of course I do. But I want to be my own person too.
Steven: Well, yeah. But... *closes his hand on the bracelet* (Connie goes over to hug him.) Is-Is it a "no"?
Connie: It's a "not now", Steven.
Steven: But if we're sure that we're gonna spend our lives together, why not say it now?
Connie: *holds his hands* We've got plenty of time. Don't worry.
Steven: I'm not worried, I'm just happy to be with you, that's all.
Connie: I'm happy to be with you too. It's just that- *phone alarm rings* Oh no! My alarm! *turns it off* Forget studying right now, it doesn't matter.
Steven: Yes, it does. It's important to you.
Connie: You're important to me!
Steven: I'm fine! We'll talk about it later. Lion's waiting for you.
Connie: Steven, a-are you sure?
Steven: Yeah.
Connie: *hugs him* I'll call you tomorrow at lunchtime.
(Connie waves to him as she goes home on Lion.)
Steven: Good luck studying!
"After Connie leaves, Steven makes a crater on the beach, due to his Pink Form. Hours later, Steven gets out, and walks back with Garnet. And here, she proves why she's my most-hated character in this franchise, next to White Diamond." Mew said.
(After Connie leaves, Steven falls on his back, turning into his pink form again, and starts an explosion of the things around him, leaving him in a crater, tears in his eyes. Spending the entire afternoon in the crater, Steven later gets up with tears in his eyes, and notices Garnet sitting right next to where he was, with the picnic blanket. They both walk home on the beach together.)
Steven: I don't get it. Ruby and Sapphire said I should go for it.
Garnet: You can't trust love advice from those two hopeless romantics.
Steven: Then why didn't you stop me?
Garnet: There was no future where you didn't propose to Connie.
Steven: Of course.
Garnet: *hugs him on the side* Your soulmate is your complement, not your missing piece. Ruby and Sapphire love being together, but they each have their own individual lives. Whatever hole there is in your life, Steven I want you to understand that Connie-Stevonnie won't be able to fill it.
"Oh, now you're going to give him advice. Right after you told him you knew he was going to propose to Connie and didn't do anything to prevent him from doing it. Seriously, why do you have fans when you pull stuff like this and expect people to do the opposite of what you see without telling them what you saw in your future visions?
"And you're the one calling Ruby and Sapphire the hopeless romantics? You were the same way, telling people what fusion is supposed to be like. And sure, Pink may have said the same thing, but you take it to an extreme level.
"Anyways, Steven decides to eat some cake, hoping that it will help with the situation." Mew said. "It doesn't help, by the way.
"Then we get to the next episode, the one that confirms everyone's suspicions, 'Growing Pains'. We begin with Steven, still upset over the rejected proposal, begin to swell while glowing pink, which Connie notices, due to calling Steven. So, she convinces him to see her mom at the hospital. And this episode confirms that Steven has never been to a doctor before, something I'm sure Priyanka is going to talk with Greg about," Mew said.
Priyanka: Let's start with your symptoms.
(Priyanka puts a thermometer in Steven's ear.)
Priyanka: Hm. Mild fever.
(Steven glows pink as she walks away to grab a stethoscope, then comes back.)
Priyanka: Glowing pink color to skin.
(Priyanka checks Steven's heartbeat, then has a listen to his gem. It makes a sound.)
Priyanka: Hmm.
(Priyanka goes to grab a blood pressure machine, then comes back and puts it around Steven's arm. As she takes his blood pressure, Steven's arm swells up and rips the machine. Priyanka falls to the ground in shock. Steven returns to his normal color again.
Priyanka: *takes note on clipboard* Blood pressure is... high! *gets up* Well, these readings are certainly... interesting. If you don't mind me asking, who's your GP?
Steven: GP?
Priyanka: You know, your general practitioner? Your regular doctor?
Steven: I guess you? I've never been to the doctor before.
Priyanka: You're 16 years old and you've never been to the doctor?!
(Steven goes pink and his body swells up again, then goes back. Steven pants in stress.)
Priyanka: I-It's okay! It's okay! I'll have a talk with your father later. We'll just need to run some more tests.
(Steven looks at her scared.)
Priyanka: Get undressed, and let's get you into a hospital gown.
(Priyanka opens the cabinet and tries to find a hospital gown for Steven.)
Steven: Is that one of those blue things that doesn't cover your butt?
Priyanka: *throws the gown next to Steven* Yes. Now let's get started. *puts glove on*
"Okay, Steven's reaction to the hospital gown and Priyanka's blunt yes was funny. It's exactly what some people who go to the hospital for the first time will go through." Mew chuckled.
"Anyways, after some tests, Priyanka gives Steven the official diagnosis. And we find out how badly everything that the Gems had put Steven through, regardless of whether they're Crystal Gems or Homeworld Gems, had affected him. Oh, and also when Ronaldo kidnapped him too." Mew said.
(Priyanka puts a tongue depressor into Steven's mouth, Steven glows pink again. Next, Priyanka tries to measure Steven's height, but his neck keeps changing in length. She then hits Steven's leg with a reflex hammer, triggering a bubble that traps her arm. Finally, she gives Steven an x-ray. Later, Priyanka sits Steven down as they are going through some x-rays.
Priyanka: So this is a typical human skeleton. Now, a couple of months ago, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl allowed me to x-ray them for research purposes. Their charts look like this.
(Priyanka goes through the gems' x-rays one by one, with only their gemstones showing due to their bodies being made of light.)
Priyanka: Only their gems appear on the radiograph.
(Amethyst's x-ray shows some food and other objects that she has eaten.)
Priyanka: *clears throat* And this is your chart. Definitely a human skeleton. There's a clear history of numerous fractures like here on the skull. Everything is perfectly aligned. It almost looks like as if the bones healed themselves the instant the injuries occurred.
Steven: That's good, right?
Priyanka: Well, you seem to have made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. You've recovered physically, but have you recovered mentally?
Steven: You think there's something wrong with my brain?!
Priyanka: Not wrong! It's that adverse childhood experiences, or childhood trauma, can have a lasting impact on how your body responds to stress. This can affect your social, emotional, and physical development. When humans are in crisis, the brain releases the hormone cortisol. Your heart races, your muscles tense. I wonder if your body is reacting to a gem equivalent of cortisol. Steven, do you remember anything bad in your childhood that particularly stuck with you?
Steven: I-I guess. I kinda freaked out when they canceled my favorite ice cream, and then I got attacked by a giant bug monster, and I got trapped in a bubble and almost drowned, I lost control of my body and turned into a blob of cats, I almost turned so old I died, Amethyst almost died, Pearl did die, Garnet got destabilized right in front of me, I woke up with a black eye imprisoned on a spaceship—
Priyanka: Steven, this is serious!
Steven: But— that was just the early stuff!
Priyanka: I think all these experiences have been subjecting your body to a harmful amount of stress, and that's affecting your ability to respond to new forms of stress in a healthy way. You've been dealing with genuine threats from such a young age, your body is now responding to minor threats as if your life were in danger!
Steven: But— why am I only swelling up now?
Priyanka: Stress is less harmful when we have people we trust to help us through it. Maybe if— if you're losing your supportive relationships, or if you had a recent experience that was practically off—
(Steven screams as he turns pink, falls out of the chair and rapidly swells up, cracking the ceiling.)
"Connie comes back into the room, concerned about what's happening. When Priyanka tells Connie that she asks Steven about any recent thing, she realizes that Steven is still upset about the rejected proposal, which neither of them told Priyanka.
"And while I should be upset that Steven is somewhat shocked that Connie didn't tell Priyanka but he didn't, I also remembered that Steven didn't get the chance to tell her, nor was he planning on doing that since he was trying to keep his emotions about it buried. And Connie, let's face it, she is studying a lot. I doubt she's going to find a moment in her busy schedule to drop that bombshell, given she only has 15 minutes breaks, and something like that would take longer.
"Anyways, Steven tells Connie that he can't be near her at the moment, and Greg arrives, revealing that Connie called him about the situation." Mew said.
Steven: Oh, no! Please— j-just GO!
Connie: Steven!
Steven: I...! can't...! be AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!
(Steven's shout shatters the windows. He then breathes heavily as Greg comes rushing through the door.)
Greg: Steven!
Steven: Dad...?
Greg: I'm here! *runs up to him*'
Connie: Come on, Mom. Let's give them space.
Priyanka: Right.
Steven: H-How'd you know I was here?
Greg: Connie called me about an hour ago.
(Priyanka and Connie start to leave the room.)
Steven: Connie...
(Connie pauses.)
Steven: Thank you...
Connie: Yeah... I'll be here when you're ready.
(They leave the room.)
"While it's sad that this takes Connie out of the series for a few more episodes, this kinda makes sense. Sometimes, you have to give people space and time so they can recover from a stressful situation. And it's best to get their family involved, since they're the ones who know the person best.
"Anyways, Greg calms Steven down, managing to get Steven back to normal. And so, they return back to the house, where Greg gives Steven tea." Mew said.
[Trans. Int. Steven's room]
(Steven is seen in his bed with Greg sitting with him, Greg gives him a cup of tea.)
Steven: I guess I thought I could just follow Connie to college. Like if we got married I'd know what to do with myself. But I'm the one that's gotta figure that stuff out.
Greg: Cut yourself some slack. It's okay to be worried and make some mistakes when you're figuring out what to do with your life. That's not unusual. Uh— the magic swelling is a little unusual, but that's okay too! If you wanna be a giant boy, we can use the car wash as a shower.
(Steven spits out his tea.)
Steven: Dad, your tour! I've—
Greg: Don't worry about me. Just get some rest, kiddo. You don't have to solve all your problems in one night.
Steven: Yeah. Thanks, Dad.
[END]
"That ended on a heartwarming note. Hope nothing bad happens to ru-It gets ruined in the next episode, doesn't it?" Mew asked.
"Yep!/Yep!" The Regi Quintuplets reply.
"Of course. Because it's not enough to have Steven's mental health go down the drain, it's not enough to make it a joke in one episode, it's not even enough to have the Gems act like how they did in the original series for two episodes when it comes to how they treat Steven, but now the Crewniverse decides to kick him while he's already down. Because that's exactly what people with PTSD and/or mental health problems go through everyday." Mew said, barely keeping his anger in check.
"So, the episode, 'Mr. Universe', has Greg and Steven go on a roadtrip to discover the origins of the Universe name. After a montage, they break into a house. But not just any house, it's Greg's childhood home, which his parents still lived in. Greg starts to complain about his parents while Steven is amazed about seeing Greg's old house," Mew said.
(Steven goes and looks around the house, worry clear on his face.)
Steven: Is there really no one here? This is wrong. I better write a note, they must have a pen and paper somewhere.
(As Steven's going down the stairs, he stops and glances at a picture on the wall before continuing down.)
Steven: But what would I even say? "Sorry for breaking into your lovely home. You seem like such nice people with excellent taste. And who enjoys potpourri." ..It's like a snack for your nose.
(Steven goes and looks around again.)
Steven: "Your fancy foreign spoon collection is impressive. As are your tiny glass goats."
(Steven sighs and grabs a pen from the pen cup.)
Steven: Ah, geez. It's as good a start as any. Any paper in here?
(Steven opens a drawer, looking for some paper, but instead finds a neat pile of letters.
Steven: Huh? Letters from dad? They're all unopened.
(Steven then gasps and runs up the stairs again, stopping at the same picture he did before, but looking at it more closely. The picture is of a man, a woman, and what must be their son. Steven immediately recognizes the boy in the picture.)
Steven: DAD?!
(Greg is still searching through boxes for something when Steven runs into the room again.)
Steven Dad! Wha- Th-Th- This is your house?
Greg: Not mine. My parents'.
Steven: *gasps* This was your room! Wha- This place is beautiful! I thought you said you grew up in a prison.
Greg: I did. You have no idea what it was like- curfew, chaperones, meatloaf.
Steven: You didn't like meatloaf?
Greg: Not every Thursday for twenty years.
Steven: Aw, it couldn't have been that bad.
Greg: Steven, it was horrible! Do you know how old I was the first time I had a taco? *sighs* Too old.
(Steven then looks through a box as well, but with much more enthusiasm than Greg.)
Steven: Ooh, so this is your stuff! Is this your little hand? And your tiny baby boots! Wh- A wrestling trophy? I didn't know you wrestled.
Greg: Not by choice.
Steven A middle school yearbook? Ooh! You had braces!
(Steven took a picture of Greg's school picture on his phone.)
Steven: You look just like me! Only more...human.
(Steven looks sad for a moment before perking up again.)
Steven: So many people signed this. Tim wants you to have a great summer, and *gasps* who is Lauren Hecht? She sure wrote a lot.
Greg: We were in mathletes together. It was just one of the million things my parents made me do.
Steven: Where are they, anyways?
Greg: At their time share on Florida Island. They go every single winter every single year. They threw a fit the first time I refused to go with them.
Steven: Your hair, it's so short!
Greg: Oh no, is that my graduation photo? They made me cut it, and it was right before a gig.
Steven: Do you have any photos of you on stage?
Greg: Ha! Are you kidding? Everything music was off-limits. Which is why I had to..hide my stuff.
(Greg opens an air vent and pulls out a small box.)
Greg: Yes! This is it! We can finally get out of here. Now, leave that junk behind.
(Greg climbs through the window again, this time with more difficulty.
Greg:Alright, one leg at a time.
Steven: Can't we use the front door?
Greg: Oh, sorry. It's a habit.
"Okay, that was funny as well," Mew chuckled. "Unfortunately, this is where the episode decides to ruin Greg and Steven's relationship, not to mention Greg as a character. As the two are heading back to Beach City, with Steven behind the wheel, Greg plays the CD he grabbed, which reveals he got the name 'Universe' from the song 'Mr. Universe'.
"Steven is not amused about the origins of his last name, and he argues with Greg about Steven never getting a normal childhood." Mew said.
(Steven turns off the song, Greg frowns and looks at Steven with confusion. as Steven starts to grow angry.)
Steven: I don't need this song! I need...I need what you had!
Greg: What?
Steven: I wish I could've grown up in a house like that.
Greg: No you don't!
Steven: Maybe your parents weren't so bad. Maybe they gave you curfews and chaperones and meatloaf f-for a reason!
Greg: Steven, you don't know what they were like!
Steven: They can't be worse than mom's family. I went halfway across the galaxy for them, and this was right here?!
Greg: Steven, I couldn't do anything growing up. Everything I liked, or wore, wanted was always wrong! Trust me, you're better off then I was.
Steven: I can't believe I never realized, you're.. you're just like mom!
(Steven then glowed pink and his grip tightened on the steering wheel.)
Greg: You grew up with actual freedom!
Steven: I grew up in a van! I never went to school! I've never been to the doctor until two days ago!
Greg: Steven! You're a gem! You're not like other kids!
Steven: I could have done all that stuff! My problem isn't that I'm a gem, my problem is that I'm a UNIVERSE!
"While in my review for the original series, I said it was Steven's fault for not having a normal life, since he not only wanted to be on missions with the Crystal Gems, but he also decline Greg's offer of paying for college as well due to that reason, I realize now that it isn't entirely accurate. I realize that technically, it was the Crystal Gems and Greg's fault as well. And Greg didn't do it intentionally.
"The Crystal Gem were the ones who decided to take Steven and train him how to use his powers, despite Pink wanting Steven to have a normal life. Heck, they started the road to Steven's current mess by kidnapping him as an infant!
"And sure, fans might argue that they might not have known about the video, except that's also false, since Garnet could see every future, thus she would've seen the one where Pink made that video for Steven, which means Garnet knew what Pink wanted for Steven and ignored it.
"And sure, Greg may have a point about Steven not being like other kids, hence not going to school. Except, here's the biggest question: what was preventing Greg from homeschooling Steven? Plus, despite what people tend to say, there are doctors who don't charge people, or if they do, it's not expensive, so why didn't Greg think of finding one of those doctors to be Steven's regular doctor.
"Heck, Priyanka didn't charge Steven nor Greg for Steven's appointment, so why didn't Greg just take Steven to the hospital? Not to mention, if you were to put the comics into the show's canon, Steven went to school and nobody made fun of him for his powers. They were fine with it. So that argument fell flat on its face. Yet, I could give Greg the benefit of the doubt since he was young back then, and he clearly had a lot on his mind, even by the point of this show.
"Heck, the only thing that Steven was wrong about is thinking Greg's parents were in the right, and that's because he never met Greg's parents, so he never knows who they are as people. Sure, TVTropes might claim that Steven never met an abusive human before, but he has met Marty, who Greg points out was emotionally abusive back in 'Story For Steven', so Steven has met an abusive human before.
"The only thing that makes Steven in the wrong, besides never knowing his paternal grandparents, is just his emotional and mental state, which this episode effectively destroyed because we can't have Steven being happy, now can we?!" Mew ranted.
"Anyways, Steven crashes the van, and when he wakes up, Greg is concerned for him. And then the Crewniverse has him say the worst thing at the wrong time." Mew said.
(The sound of Greg's voice calling Steven's name progressively gets louder over a loud ringing as Steven slowly blinks his eyes open. Steven is lying in a dirt patch on the side of the road with Greg hovering over him. The van is destroyed behind them.)
Greg: Oh, thank goodness! You really scared me there, kiddo.
Steven: *groans in pain* What did I do?
Greg: Tow truck's on it's way. The van's seen worse.. We'll all get through this. And- look, I-I-..I'm proud of you.
Steven: ...What?
Greg: Y'know, I never had the guts to tell my old man off like that. I'm glad you can tell me anything. You know you can tell me anything, right? You're having a hard time right now, I-I get it. We'll get the van fixed up, we can head back home. We'll get you some more ice cream, how does that sound?
(Steven is not listening, and instead is looking at the picture of middle-school Greg he had taken earlier. He stares at it for a few seconds as his finger hovers over the delete button. He clicks.)
[END]
"Did the Crewniverse forget that Greg can be a parent at times? Given back in Season 1, he, along with the Crystal Gems, had grounded Steven for trying to run away with Connie. Or how he told Steven that hate is a strong word when Steven says he hates Kevin. And even after being told what happened with Kevin in 'Alone Together', he still thought hate was a powerful word.
"Or everytime he was concerned for Steven's safety. Or even when he told Steven that not only is he justified in trying to figure out the mystery behind Pink's palanquin, but also that Pink never had a 'magical destiny' for him, since she only wanted him to live life the way he wanted. So make him this oblivious to Steven's problems when he's the one who notices the problems 9 times out of 10?" Mew asked. "Especially since he canceled Sadie and Shep's tour just to be with Steven." Mew added.
"Anyways, we get to 'Fragments', where the Crystal Gems try to get Steven to open up about his emotions. It goes as well as you imagine," Mew said.
[Open. Int. Crystal Temple]
(Bismuth and Greg are seen trying to fix Greg's van after Steven crashed it in the previous episode. Steven is then seen watching them over the balcony, then heads back inside.)
Pearl: How could this happen? You crashed the van with Greg inside? You know how fragile he is, these pink outbursts of yours are getting out of hand.
Steven: It's not an outburst! *turns pink*
Pearl: See? This is exactly what I'm talking about! What's happening to you?
Steven: Nothing! ...It's nothing.
Pearl: S-Steven! Where are you going?! We're not through tal-
(Pearl hits Steven's generated force field.)
Pearl: Steven! Drop this wall!
Steven: *gasps* Pearl, sorry. I'm trying- I just... (Steven's dome dissipates.) need... some space, OK? I'll be in my room.
Amethyst: Not so fast, my dude. You gotta tell us what's going on.
Garnet: It looks like Steven is trying to avoid a serious discussion about this all together.
Steven: No! I'm not!
(Steven slams his fist into the stairs, unleashing a room-wrecking shockwave from his rage.)
Garnet: Steven, you have got to calm down and talk to us!
Amethyst: Just chill, man!
Steven: Nnghh...
Pearl: We need to do something about this before someone gets hurt!
Steven: NNGGHH...
Garnet: Don't let this power control you. You're better than this.
Steven: NNGGHH... Leave me alone!
(The Gems start moving in slow motion.)
Steven: Huh? I'm speeding up again. I gotta get out of here.
(Steven runs out of the temple as everything returns to its normal speed.)
"Seriously, is no one questioning the fact that Garnet knows that Steven wants to avoid the conversation at all? It just confirms that she knew the whole time about everything in this series and did nothing to help Steven, nor told Pearl and Amethyst, so they can prevent things from getting any worse." Mew said.
"Then again, this also confirms that she knew the whole time about Pink's fake shattering. Even if she trusts Pink enough to see her future, she would've seen Pearl's future and saw that." Registeel brought up.
"That's something I thought about, and realized as the truth. Which means Garnet was willing to let Pearl suffer through all of that just so she can wait for the perfect moment to act like she didn't know, unfuse into Ruby and Sapphire, and make everything about herself just so Steven wouldn't have time to properly process how he felt about his mom since everything has to be about Garnet. You can see why I hate her as much as I hate White Diamond.
"Anyways, Steven decides to get some training from Jasper, and after three days, he fights her. However, given this is Steven we're talking about, surely it won't go far besides just poofing Ja-" Mew began.
(Steven's laugh becomes more maniacal as he kicks Jasper to the ground, then launches four shields around her, pinning her in place. Jasper grunts as Steven begins to make a huge barrier while floating in the air.)
Steven: You're right, Jasper.
(Steven's huge barrier grows spikes, his irises take on the shape of white diamonds and he smiles maliciously.)
Steven: I have been holding back.
(Steven throws the barrier at Jasper. Her eyes widened in fear as a crack of thunder flashes. Cut to black.)
[Trans. Int. Crystal Temple]
(Later, as rain falls at the beach house, Steven is seen running to the temple in his normal state and size.)
Pearl: I've sent so many messages but he hasn't replied.
(Steven storms through the door with his hand inside his pocket while Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl are waiting for him inside the temple.)
Pearl: Steven! Where have you been?!
(Steven ignores them as he rushes to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Amethyst: *outside the bathroom* We looked everywhere for you!
Steven: Not now!
(Steven turns on the faucet for the bathtub, then immediately grabs the remaining Diamond aura potions and throws them into the water. Steven breathes heavily as he pulls out Jasper's gem from his pocket, revealing that he had shattered her from the impact he caused. Steven puts the pieces of the gem back together.)
"Congratulations. In trying to prove that Steven and Pink aren't the same person, you've destroyed the very rule they've made: never shatter any Gems," Mew said, his tone full of barely suppressed anger.
"And before any of you Pink Diamond haters say anything bad about, know that, despite Pink being a flawed character, she had her one rule, the very rule she had never broken, the very rule that the other Diamonds had ignored until Steven came into their lives: never shatter a Gem.
"It's why she was horrified about what happened to Pink Pearl, both in the original ideas for Pink Pearl, and in this show. It's why she had Bismuth make weapons that only poof a Gem, not shatter. It's why she bubbled Bismuth when she made the Breaking Point. It's why she didn't go with her fake shattering plan until the last minute. And it's most likely why she told Steven to live a normal life, something that the Crystal Gems outright ignored and made Steven end up this way.
"So, congratulations, Crewniverse. You had officially made your franchise much worse than the entirety of Dragon Ball Super. And that's not something anyone should say, given how that show takes everything great about the Dragon Ball franchise, including Dragon Ball GT, and drives them into a junkyard.
"And for anyone who thinks this is a great idea, anyone who say with a smile on their face that this was storytelling at its finest, shame on you for thinking it's a great idea to have a teenager, who already suffering from PTSD and already thinking so badly about himself, commit murder just to make you happy. Especially since, due to this, Steven isn't going to think of killing Jasper and think it's fine, he's going to think that on top of every bad thing he believe he is, being a murderer is much worst." Mew said in a calm, yet angry, tone.
"Anyways, Steven brings back Jasper using the Diamonds' essence and his tears. Didn't know Diamonds' sweat could bring back Gems. Regardless, Jasper is back alive, smells like gym socks, and declares that Steven is her Diamond, something that Steven, and Pink Diamond, never wanted to happen. Ever." Mew said.
"Then we get to the next episode, "Homeworld Bound', where Steven decides to head to Homeworld to talk to the other Diamonds. They, however, don't help out much, due to their powers changing from 'redemption'. Yellow could only change someone's physical appearance, Blue makes people feel happy with happy clouds that are secretly drugs. And White, well, see for yourself." Mew said.
Trans. Int. White Diamond's room
(Steven and Spinel walk in and see White Diamond calmly sitting down.)
White Diamond: What perfect timing Steven. I've just got back from my recent charitable escapade. I've been going from planet to planet giving voice to the little gem.
(Steven and Spinel proceed to walk up to White Diamond, prepared to see what she can do.)
Spinel: White Diamond's powers work in reverse now!
Steven: What does that mean?
White Diamond: Why don't I show you. May I, Spinel?
(Spinel gets very excited, ready to show Steven White Diamond's new power.)
Spinel: Yes please.
(White Diamond starts using her powers, allowing Spinel to take control of her. As this happens White Diamond's voice and color changes to match Spinel's.)
White Diamond and Spinel: Guess who?
Steven: What?
"That is literal nightmare fuel. Why would anyone think that's helping? If White Diamond's powers work in reverse, and her whole thing involves taking away someone's personality to fit her level of 'perfection', then shouldn't her powers be more in line with helping people accept themselves and their flaws?
"Anyways, White Diamond decides to 'help' Steven by allowing him to take control of her. It goes as well as you imagine," Mew said.
(White Diamond sits down, getting closer to Steven.)
White Diamond: Half a Diamond, half a creature of earth, in all the universe there's no one else that could know what you're going through, so maybe it's time you talked to yourself.
(White Diamond reaches out to Steven, pointing to him.)
White Diamond: Would you like to try?
Steven: Okay.
(White Diamond uses her powers, allowing Steven to gain control of her.)
Steven and White Diamond: Woah, this is so weird. I'm... I'm... I'm a diamond. This—this is the last thing I needed to see. I don't want to be you, I don't want to be anything like you! Why won't you just GO AWAY!
"What were you expecting, Steven? Though, then again, I was also expecting something different, so I can't be completely upset. Seriously, my idea would make more sense, but the Crewniverse never asked me, so I went ignored.
"Steven realizes he's in control of White, though, so he doesn't have to fear her. Okay, you have him shatter one Gem already. Are you trying for t-"
(Now extremely vengeful, Steven begins steering her towards the pillar, clasping her hands to it.)
White Diamond: Let me go! Please, you're scaring me!
Steven: This is for everything you put me through!
(Steven tries to slam White Diamond's head into the pillar, in an attempt to shatter her gemstone. However he instead snaps them out of it and hits his own head, allowing White Diamond to regain her control.)
"...Okay, you are." Mew said.
Nostalgia Critic: Sorry, going for two!
"Fortunately, Steven didn't shatter White Diamond. It's shocking that the words 'fortunately' and 'White Diamond wasn't shattered' were put in the same sentence. I'm on fire right now from saying it," Mew said, showing that he was, indeed, on fire.
"Anyways, Steven leaves, kickstarting the next episode, 'Everything's Fine'. Trust the title, everything's fine. Just ignore Steven glowing pink, and his diamond pupils. It's fine.
Lindsay Ellis: He's fine with it. He's fine. Really. He's fine. See? He's fine. He's fine, it's fine. It's fine. This is fine. It's fine.
"Until the end where Connie does the smart thing and gets the Crystal Gems and Greg to help her do an intervention." Mew said.
(The scene changes to Steven's house. Steven himself warps in.)
Connie: Steven!
Steven: Huh?
(Connie is standing next to Steven's couch while Greg, Amethyst, Pearl, and Garnet are sitting on it.)
Connie: I knew it! You are swelling and glowing again. I've been trying to call you, but I came as soon as I saw this.
(Connie holds out her phone, on which Steven, glowing and swelled up, is doing the plant Steven's dance and looping the message "Steven's here to help!")
Connie: What is going on?
Steven: I... broadcast my subconscious sometimes these days. It's really no big deal.
Connie: Okay, but... I can tell something is bothering you.
(Connie holds out her phone again. The message changes after some static from "Steven's here to help!" to "Steven help!" The static continues, switching the two words repeatedly.)
Steven: Ah, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine! Awesome, in fact. Come on, you've seen me when I wasn't doing well.
Greg: Steven, if being like this is what you want, then we'll support you one hundred percent. Whatever makes you happy. But, if you're not happy, if something's wrong-
Steven: Nothing's wrong! Besides, I don't want you to worry.
Connie: We are worried!
Greg: Steven, you know you can tell us anything.
(Steven looks down and frowns.)
Steven: It's not that easy. You know what? I don't have to deal with this.
(As Steven moves toward the door, Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie run to block his path. Off-screen, Garnet stands and blocks the path to the warp pad.)
Amethyst: Hold up, dude.
Garnet: Steven! You have to stop running.
"Oh, like you did after the truth of Pink Diamond was revealed?" Mew snarked.
"Roasted!" Registeel exclaimed.
Greg: Please.
(Steven seizes up and his face swells.)
Connie: Steven, we should get you back to the hospital.
Amethyst: HOSPITAL?!
Pearl: HOSPITAL?! When were you in the hospital?!
Connie: You didn't tell them?
"Well, if the Gems give him some time and space, he would've told them when he's ready." Mew said.
(Steven groans, swelling up again. His breath quickens.)
Steven: It wasn't that important, you guys. You're making a big deal out of nothing. Have I done some things wrong? Sure! I trashed the house today. I broke an anvil. What teenager hasn't? Dad and I had a little disagreement. That's practically a rite of passage!
(As Connie and the Gems turn their questioning gazes to him, Greg shrugs.)
Steven: I mean, it would be weird if we didn't, right? And maybe, I've had a not-so-nice thought or two about, like, you know, slamming White Diamond's head through a pillar, but it's not like I actually went through with it! I only actually shattered Jasper!
(Pearl gasps and her eyes widen with shock.)
Amethyst: WHAT?!
(Garnet's jaw drops, Greg and Connie gasp as well.)
"Wait, the Gems never asked Jasper what happened while Steven was on Homeworld? Wow, they really don't care about anyone except themselves and their allies." Mew said.
Connie: You're- you're joking, right?
Steven: Oh, don't worry! I fixed that too! I can fix anything. I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it!
Garnet: Steven...
Steven: *gasps* How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for so long. You have no idea how bad I am.
(While Steven talks, Pearl is shown putting her fist up to her mouth in horror. Amethyst grimaces. Connie's face remains still, frozen in shock.)
Steven: You think I'm so great, and I'm so mature, and I always know what to do, but that's not true! I haven't learned a thing from my problems! They've all just made me worse!
(Greg's face is shown while Steven rants, similar to Connie's. Garnet looks down and grimaces.)
Steven: You think of me as some angel, but I'm not that kid anymore!
"No thanks to the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds dragging Steven in to fix their messes, telling him to stop having his own emotions and problems since they're the only ones who matter, and then they throw Pink under the bus just to make themselves feel better. No wonder Steven has his breakdown, he's finally reached the breaking point that should've happened in 'We're Only Falling Apart'." Mew said.
(A close-up of Steven's scowl is shown.)
Steven: I'm a fraud.
(Steven falls to his hands and knees, letting out a sob. He takes a deep breath.)
Steven: I'm a fraud!
(Steven grabs his head with both hands as his body starts shaking violently.)
Steven: I'm a monster!
(The music crescendos rapidly as massive pink spikes burst out of Steven's back, tearing his shirt. Everyone takes a step back, with plain terror displayed on Greg's face. Cut to black.)
[END]
"So, the penultimate episode, 'I Am My Monster' has the Crystal Gems, the Cluster, and the Diamonds try to prevent CorruptedSteven from causing too much damage. Also, apparently, Steven ended up corrupting due to all of the emotional and mental trauma he's been through.
"However, if that's the case, shouldn't Spinel be corrupted by the point of the movie. However, more research states that Gems end up poofing from too much emotional shock, or emotional trauma, to prevent themselves from corrupting, which doesn't make sense either. If that's the case, shouldn't every Gem that got corrupted end up poofing to prevent the act of corruption?
"Therefore, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I have to go with the logic Garnet gave back in 'Monster Reunion'." Mew said, looking disgusted by what he just said.
Pearl: It's alright Steven. Remember, she's not cracked, she's corrupted, and that's something different, something nearly... impossible to describe.
Garnet: It's sort of like if MC Bear-Bear didn't tear the fabric of his arm, but the fabric of his mind.
"Therefore, Steven ended up corrupting due to his mental health.
"Anyways, while the Cluster is restraining Steven, everyone starts to blame themselves." Mew said.
Pearl: Deep inside this...monster. Steven must be in there, so angry.
"No, you think." Mew snarked.
Amethyst: I knew something was goin' on. I, uh- why didn't I do something?!
"You did, Amethyst. You told him to stop fixing everyone's problems and focus on his." Mew said.
Sapphire: *crying* If we don't get through to him, he'll stay like this forever! *Ruby and Sapphire sob*
(While Ruby and Sapphire cry, Lapis stands nearby watching them. Greg takes a few steps back, a scared and worried look on his face.)
Amethyst: Dude! You should get outta here before you get hurt!
Greg: NO! Every time Gem stuff happens, I run the other way! This is my son! And he's right to be angry because I didn't protect him!
"Greg, I know this is going to sound rude, and I'm going to offend you fanboys, but what could you have done to protect Steven? You're just a normal human, and the Gemkind knows 10 ways to punch you into next Tuesday…in space." Mew said.
"Plus, you did try. Just the Crystal Gems keep ruining everything you do to teach Steven to be wary of the stuff he does with the Gems." Mew said.
Blue Diamond: *tearing up* You didn't protect him from us! *crying* He's like this because of us!
"You're the one who kidnapped Greg, who didn't know who you, nor the Diamonds, are. Heck, I have defended your redemption arc, and this is how you repay me?" Mew said.
Yellow Diamond: *crying* We're the source of Steven's suffering!
"Yes, yes you are. Now let the adults talk, Yellow," Mew said.
Spinel: *crying* *blows nose* This is my fault! *sobs loudly*
White Diamond: *crying* Spinel! Don't be silly! Everyone knows that all of this is because of me!
Spinel: NO, it's because of ME! I tried to wipe his friend's memories so he could die alone on a barren world!
White Diamond: *crying* But that was because you were angry with Pink, and if Pink hurt you, it was because I hurt her! Like I hurt Yellow, and Blue, and Steven, and everyone in the entire universe! *sobbing* This is all my fault!
Mew started laughing. "I'm not laughing because this is funny. I'm laughing because it's ridiculous that the Crewniverse thought this was funny. Not to mention even when finally admitting she's at fault, it's less like she's taking responsibility and more of White just wants everyone to pay attention to her.
"Lucky for me, and unfortunately for you suckers who find this funny, Connie does the smart thing by calling out everyone for still making it about them." Mew said.
Connie: YES, IT IS!
(Everyone turns to see Connie has returned and she jumps onto the beach with Lion.)
Connie: Yes, you hurt him, but this isn't the time to make this all about you! That is not helping! Maybe Steven would care how sad you are because he always puts everyone else's feelings first! But he can't do that for you right now, because he needs us this time! We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven! He's always been there for us, so, *sighs*... How can we be there for him NOW?!
"So they stop him with a hug, which medical professionals actually recommended for someone who is suffering a breakdown. So for all of you who want this fight to continue, you're sick since you all want to make someone who has a mental illness suffer just so you can have a Godzilla movie. Oh, and they also reassure him that they'll stick by him no matter what." Mew said.
(A surprised Steven begins to struggle as Garnet lands and holds her arms tightly over him, giving him a hug.)
Garnet: *calmly* Steven, when I fell apart, you were there for me. I want to be there for you now. I'm here, Steven. I'm here. *hugs closely*
(Steven stops struggling and stands in the hug.)
Lapis: This is working? You hear us? STEVEN! *comes in and hugs him*
(The Diamonds come in for the hug too, with White having an awkward expression. The rest of the Gems and Greg make it in too, with Spinel coming in to tie them all in the hug together with her arms.)
Greg: I'm here, Schtuball! Whatever you need, I'll make it happen! You hear me?!
Peridot: STEVEN! You never gave up on me for some reason I don't understand! I'LL DO THE SAME FOR YOU!
Amethyst: *crying* I know you feel bad! Believe me, I get it! Sometimes it feels like you're never gonna like yourself but... *sniffs* It's possible, man!
Pearl: *tearful* Steven, I know how awful it feels to keep a part of yourself secret! You shouldn't have to hide anything from me!
(Steven grunts, as The Cluster reemerges, holding his hand. Connie appears last, jumping from Lion's portal and lands on his nose. She walks closer, hugging him.)
Connie: *sighs* Steven... you must have been so afraid to show us this side of yourself. But we're not going anywhere. We're all gonna take care of you the same way you take care of us. You know what? I don't have your powers, but... *kisses him*
"So Steven turns back to normal, and finally is allowed to dump his own emotional baggage. On a side note, my co-star did mention how he wanted this to be more than one episode. Not saying he wanted an extended fight, because he's not like those who wanted another Godzilla movie, but with Pinkzilla. But he wanted there to be some destruction, or give CorruptedSteven more powers and abilities than what we see.
"But we've finally reached the finale, 'The Future', where we find out a few months have passed by. In this episode, Steven is leaving Beach City, and saying his farewells to everyone. However, he is upset with the fact that the main Crystal Gems are calm about it. He even talks to Greg, who, once again, shows his parenting skills.
(Steven shuts a suitcase filled with old items and sighs.)
Greg: You alright, Schtu-ball?
Steven: Yeah, it's just-
Greg: Just what?
(Steven puts the suitcase on the floor.)
Steven: Well, I told the Gems I'm leaving but I don't think they're even sad about it.
Greg: Isn't that a good thing?
Steven: I guess I wanted them to be at least a little upset. Is that petty?
Greg: You're allowed to have feelings, even petty ones.
(Greg walks over to Steven and gives him a hug.)
"That was heartwarming. Even more so once Steven gives Greg his gift: the bedroom. Anyways, the day of Steven's departure arrives, and he's about to leave when he notices that the Crystal Gems are still calm about everything," Mew said.
(Steven gets into his car and begins to drive off, watching his friends wave to him in the rear view mirror. As he gets farther and farther from then, he begins to panic, and once they are all out of sight, the car comes to a screeching halt and reverses all the way back to the Gems. Steven appears in the car window with tears going down his cheeks.)
Steven: *tearfully* What's wrong with you guys?! Aren't you sad that I'm leaving?
(Amethyst bursts into tears.)
Amethyst: *crying* Oh man, I can't take this anymore!
(Garnet sprays tears all over her visor as they run down her cheeks.)
Garnet: We were trying to be strong for you.
(Pearl turns her head to face Steven, sobbing sloppily as she's unable to speak.)
Garnet: Pearl agrees.
(Steven jumps out of the car, running over to the Gems.)
Steven: You guys!
(They leap into a group hug and sob together.)
Amethyst: *crying* I was kidding, man! I'm never gonna delete your save files!
Pearl: *crying* Ah, I love that ukulele! I'll never play anything else!
Garnet: I'd be overjoyed to plan your wedding. In fact, I've already planned over 363 versions of it.
Steven: Why didn't you guys just tell me all of this?
Garnet: I'm sorry, Steven. I couldn't resist looking into your future. I peeked. But I saw a possibility that our tears would keep you from leaving.
Amethyst: *crying* We didn't wanna hold you back!
Garnet: But I also saw many paths ahead of you, and we are a part of all of them.
"And this is where the Crystal Gems officially reach their all-time low. Including Amethyst, which sucks given she was one of the highlights for this show. Seriously, you do realize that Steven is still recovering from years of trauma that you guys gave him. And instead of actually showing how far you all come, to the point of giving proper emotions at the proper time, you were okay with setting back his recovery progress all because of one future that you knew wasn't going to happen anyways. Wow, no wonder Steven wants to leave.
"Anyways, the franchise properly ends with Steven driving off into the sunrise. And what do I think of this show?" Mew asked.
"This show was bad. It has a lot of problems. Sure, it has some good moments, but those are few, and they get overshadowed by the bad. Seriously, it's like they can't decide whether to show us the consequences of Steven's adventures, make it a joke, or toss all of those aside to make Steven a murderer who destroyed Pink's legacy.
"But that's not what makes this show bad. No, it's the fact that this was supposed to have the origin to Gemkind. However, Rebecca Sugar decided not to go through with that decision. Either because it means showing Gems that would never be seen again, showing Pink in a positive light and Arceus knows that the Crewniverse is incapable of doing that, or the fact that Steven wouldn't be involved in the backstory, or even a combination of three, we don't know.
"What we do know is that this show was supposed to show Steven's human side and the problems that come with that. Except they still failed at that, since we still continue exploring Steven's Gem half. Heck, only 5 episodes are about Steven's human half, or him trying to be as human as possible, which makes up only ¼ of the show. That leaves the other ¾ of the series still about Steven's Gem side, meaning we were robbed of a possible story arc in favor of a lie!
"But who cares?! Besides the Light trilogy, I'm done with this franchise. And since the Light trilogy are essentially non-canon, since they are never referenced nor are the Prisms and Gems introduced in that game ever seen in the series, then I can make whatever jokes I make, because it's not like the franchise cares about them." Mew ranted before taking a deep breath.
"However, the Light trilogy isn't happening anytime soon, thanks to this review. So, whenever I review it, you'll know. Anyways, this has been the Critical Mew, and I review these stuff so you don't have to. Seriously. Anyways, time to review a The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo fanfic." Mew said, leaving.
Next time: Sleep and Eternity
(Cue instrumental version of theme song)
Credits:
The New Scooby-Doo Mysteries
Steven Universe Future
Steven Universe
Steven Universe: End of an Era
Bobsheaux's Disney's Descendants 3 Review
Far Cry 3
Caddicarus The Depressing World of Bad Crash Bandicoot Games
Caddicarus The Unholy World of Jesus Games
Lindsay Ellis The Case for Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Lindsay Ellis That Time Disney Remade Beauty and the Beast
Robot Chicken
Animat Ice Age Is Back...And Worse Than Ever
Nostalgia Critic Quest For Camelot
Futurama
(A/N: So, as you can tell, I'm not tackling the Light trilogy{which is the last thing of Steven Universe that I'm doing} for awhile. However, I'll get to it before the end of Season 1 of these reviews, as I like to cover all of my bases. Again, hope you like the review, and if you're going to hate it, do it for the quality of it, not my opinions. Anyways, see you all soon.)