Who am I? - CH13
There is anothers?
Disclaimer: TMNT isn't mine and this is just a fanfiction writing. No money is being made on this story.
(TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version and events, the turtles are in their late 20s.)
Warning: It has horror elements.
Rate: T
Drama, family comfort/hurt, and heartache...
Summary: SThump! Thwack! Thump! SMASH! What did the turtle find?
AUTHORS NOTE: Just to clarify, when it comes to addressing Adam's gender, the brothers address differently. Mikey and Donnie will say she/her when Adam is human, he/him when Adam is a turtle. Leo and Raph will say he/him regardless if Adam is female or male. To them, Adam is referred to as a male using that when addressing Adam. This also will affect the gender choice in the current point of view of the brothers regardless of form, which will determine if Adam will be referred to as he/him or her/she within parts of the story. This will switch back and forth since each tends to take the point of view throughout the storyline. Sorry for the confusion, but I don't believe all four brothers think the same when it comes to Adam's gender. That said, one other thing that will happen is that Raph only, still calls Adam a turtle even when Adam is human as well, this is his mindset and how he perceives Adam.
There was a buzzing in the air, a repetitive sound invading his eardrums, that he could barely make it out from the pounding in his head. He could smell it, something off, something not right. The darkness consumed him and he could barely feel his body, there was a scent of blood… blood…
"Oh god, what was he doing!" Leo panic as he rushed towards the bathroom, eyes widen at the horror before him.
The hanging mirror over the sink was shattered with chips of glass missing and smeared with blood and flesh.
Mikey white as a ghost, was on the ground wrestling Adam for control as there was more blood painted all over the tile floor.
"What does it look like!" the young brother snapped his beak, "Leo help me he is as strong as Raphie!" Mikey ordered as the eldest nodded in compliance coming to his aid.
"Let…. Let…" Adam screamed in a frenzy thrashing his arms around trying to throw the two turtles off him, "I… want …. To… die!"
The word like hot daggers struck the brothers' hearts as they both looked at each other in horror, not believing their ears.
Leo now seeing the turn of events before this moment, he let out a shiver, disappointed in his abilities and was not able to foresee this and stop it before it escalated to this degree.
Adam must have been smashing his head into the mirror resulting in his injuries that he could see clearly, with the gashes on the turtle's face and forehead.
Mikey as he assumed must came in there catching him in the act and tried to stop him resulting to desperately call for help.
"What the shell!?" Raph's voice came from behind.
Not answering him, for it was apparent that there were more important matters, Leo whipped his head towards Raph, "Get me something to bind him, we need to stop him from harming himself, wake up Donnie while you're at it, we need his help!"
"R… right…" Raph stuttered, shuddering at the blood and quickly turned around.
"I…. die… please… die!" Adam kept begging for them to let him finish what he started. What had gotten into him? There was a heavy aroma invading his nostrils, was it smoke? Was he near a fire? His body felt it, warm and burning, not by the lick of flame, yet it was uncomfortable all the same. He tried to move, yet his body wouldn't respond, or was it too slow that he felt like he wasn't making any progress? His eyes were so heavy… so heavy…
"How much does he weigh! Shell!" Mikey complained, now upright trying to attempt to drag Adam out of the bathroom, away from the shattered glass that was on the ground.
The delusional turtle was now coming aware he couldn't get out of their hold attempted to cut his throat with a shard of glass that dug deep into his hand.
If he wasn't on that side of him Mikey wouldn't have caught the action in time, resulting in the death of Adam.
It took all he could to pry the glass from the turtle's hand who howled in protest.
"Fuck off Adam!" Mikey swore, stressed by this and lost his composure in his panic, "We are not going to let you kill yourself, bro!"
Mikey shifted Adam's body up more, arms around the turtle's torso as Adam attempted to pry him off.
"Let let let!" Adam screamed, kicking his legs and somehow managed to root himself, making it more difficult for Mikey to move him and for Leo to grab those legs to aid his brother.
"Never!" Mikey growled, then screamed in pain, feeling teeth against the flesh, as his arm was burning from Adam biting hard on it to force him to let go. "You can bite me all you want Adam I will not let you go!"
He coughed, gasping for air, his arm hurt… it wasn't from the bite? Was he bitten? Maybe? No, there was something else, it hurt, bruised up? Banged up? What was that sound in the distance, or was it closer, there was a smell… of pine? No was it burning wood? No… it was mixed up and he couldn't pinpoint it out… he could smell Raph….
"Raph what took you!" Leo snarled finally catching the flopping legs of Adam holding them tightly as he could.
He was having a hard time keeping his balance with the force of the legs that desperately tried to get free against his plastron. He tried to place them under his armpit yet didn't manage that and was lucky he would admit he got that far as it was.
"Sorry Leo, I forgot we leave zip tags inside the 'Oh shit Adam is going to fucken go crazy' emergency box," Raph retorted getting a nasty glare from Leo.
He brushed it off helping them to get Adam in a more open space with little objects for him to use against them or himself.
"Lay him here, we need to restrain him and calm him down," Leo ordered then looked quickly about seeing no Donnie present. "Where is Donnie anyway?"
"He is coming," Raph insisted, taking over the legs from Leo gently pushing him away and smacking the zip ties in the leader's hands instead.
Leo was in no condition to keep Adam still so he was best to be on leg duty.
"We need him now, I don't know what has gotten into Adam…"
"Die please let me DIE! We can't take it…. We don't want it… Please…. Please… we don't want this!" Adam screamed bloody murder having Raph shutter almost letting go of Adam's legs, as tears formed in his eyes.
The pain Adam was in, he could hear it in his voice, the way he wanted to die…
Why? Why was he in pain?
Oh god, the pain! What was wrong with him, his eye was engulfed in fire, he couldn't see! It was blurred in darkness, as his other wouldn't open. His body hurt all over, he couldn't move… He couldn't move his arm! He could though, smell the potent aroma of gasoline, where was it? Where was he? Then there was a scream, not his… not Adam… who was it?
Adam's screams echoed off the walls as the brothers filled with dread and horror, tried to tie him up, to prevent him from harming himself.
"Hold him still!" Donnie's voice called from behind.
"What you think we are trying to do here Don?" both Leo and Raph answered nastily as the brother came to them with what seemed to be a syringe.
"Donnie isn't that the rest of the…" Leo protested over the action.
"Yes and he needs it," Donnie pointed out, the low dosages have caused him to have a breakdown and go suicidal. This is exactly what I feared would happen, yet not to this level so quickly… He is addicted to it and he is in withdraw that is why he is acting like this!"
"But we will not have enough for…" Leo stated.
"We will go home tonight and I will sedate him if I have to in the lair, keeping him here will only kill him or he will do it before it does!" Donnie said coldly, bluntly pointing out the reality before them all and this wasn't up to debate anymore.
He jerked and had a taste of blood in his mouth, he could hear an assortment of sounds in the background, some he couldn't determine what they were. One was too far off to make heads or tails, yet the ones that were not drowned by a large horn was mumbling and groans. He could barely breathe and his leg felt numb with pain, a mixture that made no sense. What was going on? Where was he? What was he doing? Light flashed in his memory a panic… then darkness…
He let out a groan, shaking from the cold feeling his skin brush against the prickly grass.
His teeth chattered as he moved slightly, feeling his body protest making him cringe.
There was a light blinding him ahead as his eyes fluttered open and he cast his hand up to shield his eyes, yet was dumbfounded seeing the five fingers, human fingers yet knew that wasn't right.
He let another groan shifting his body upwards using his knees that dug into the ground and his hand to get to his feet as he stumbled back and forth feeling drunk, if he knew what that felt, or was it remembered?
Heavy breaths came from him as he squinted forwards unable to take the bright light, so instead, he turned around shocked by the starry night sky overhead, as he slowly looked down at his hands, he was human in the night?
How was that possible?
He shook his head, trying to remember why he was outside drawing a blank, then it hit him the pain, the change, was he now going back to his turtle form?
Why did he change in the first place, just to revert back to the other form, it made no sense.
His mind foggy, it was the same as when he has been given that disgusting drug… the one that Bishop used on him… the one he had no choice but to use.
Taking a breath, he let his body do its thing as he stood there with eyes closed, hearing the odd foreign sounds around him.
Was it a dream? Did he find him? Shaking his head, he patted his cheeks trying to focus, clear the fog. Then the name came to him, Adam… As the name did the images flashback like a tidal wave.
"Things are a bit chaotic and I still think more time down here would prove to be in our favour, so we are going to stay another four days only, no more than that, compared to what I stated earlier today," Leo insisted as he felt like he was falling into a pit of darkness.
He didn't want to stay for it hurt… he was hurting and he couldn't tell them… they were being so nice to him… but it hurt, their body was in flame once again, how was he to continue?
He didn't want her to go through it again… he didn't want to go through it again… they wanted it to end… Was that the answer?
To end it?
It would put 'him' out of danger… after finding 'him'… it was the right thing to do… He thought at least, she… she wanted it to end… he wanted the same…
"Any objections?" Leo inquired as there was none, "Good."Adam left the area lost in thought, lost in confusion as he stumbled away.
Can he live with this?
Can they?
The drug was running out… they need it once again… death by it… death without it… which was worse?
He wondered this as it became late in the night and he lay there in the bed, hearing snoring on one end of the room, feeling his handshake, the beginning of the pain.
There was more to come he knew, more to suffer once again, maybe it was time to end it all? He could hear her too… he… they are one… but none… as he rose from his bed trying to be as quiet as possible leaving the room without alerting them.
He cast his eyes around the room feeling anxious, wanting the drug… as his body shuddered and he felt his throat dry moving towards the bathroom to quench it.
When the light flipped on he saw his broken face in the reflection of the mirror, sick and wrong, it angered him, it made his blood boil and she was hurt too.
In a rage he struck his fist into it, the glass shattered and blood coated his green fist as he stared at it.
"No more….no more…" he chanted letting out a silent scream in his head, "NO MORE!" Losing himself, driven to end it for them he smashed his head into the mirror, then again and again!
Even when he heard the horrifying screams from the Mikeys, he didn't stop, he couldn't! He had to end it for them!
His hand now shaking before him, tears rain down his cheek, was he going to do it?
If Mikeys didn't intervene, was he going to end their life? Yet what life was this?
Clenching his hand, he started to cry, whimpering Leo's name under his breath as reality hit him once more.
Where was Mikey? Wasn't he telling him he would never let him die? Then again where was Leo, weren't they both there holding him down and Raphael too? Didn't he join them, soon later...
"Donnie… gave me the rest…" Adam whipped his head around now understanding what those lights were; they were the headlights of the vehicle as he gasped seeing the wreckage before him.
He was at the bottom of a hill and high above was he figured must be a road. There was a side railing that was bent outwards and car tracks leading to the car before him.
There was another set that reared to his right, yet he couldn't see what the condition of that car was nor what kind, as he focused on the vehicle that was before him. The windshield was laying two feet from him, smashed up and full of blood as he came aware where he stood was more blood, was it from him? Was that why he changed... to heal? Could he do that?
"No," he shook his head not bothering to figure it out, making a step forward, he needed to see them, to see if they are alive.
He could see two airbags employed yet wasn't sure which turtle was behind them.
Rushing towards the driver's side, Adam shuddered, seeing Donnie in the driver's seat head back in his seat with fresh blood on his forehead, yet that wasn't the worst as he made a quick note of what he could see of the others.
Raph on the passenger side in the front had his head forward in the airbag and blood was dripping down onto his lap, as his door was smashed inward. The point of impact Adam assumed, something hit them and force the vehicle to run off the road.
He couldn't tell how bad it was for Raph yet he put his focus quickly on the other turtles, Mikey who at the moment was moaning breathing heavily was sitting behind Raph, and Adam couldn't see any physical injuries yet that didn't mean anything. As for Leo, who was behind Donnie, he appeared to be out cold, head leaning against the window that was cracked yet luckily Leo didn't have a cracked skull as Adam feared of Leo's concussion.
Biting his lip, he desperately looked at the turtles then back up towards the road, someone would be around soon and the car could catch on fire any moment seeing the smoke rising that would lure humans to them.
What was he to do?
Taking a breath, he panicked then slapped his cheeks to focus, as he first went for Leo, figuring he was best to grab the ones that were less injured and move them away from danger before working on the more complicated cases.
Moving towards Leo's door, Adam had to jiggle the handle to get it to unlock and slowly open it, trying not to let Leo fall out.
He moved towards him to hold him there as he undid the seat belt seeing the middle belt was untouched, did they not put a seat belt on him?
Not bothering to question that he gently took Leo with all his strength, a blessing he was a turtle not human for Leo wasn't light, half dragging him, away from the wreckage and placed him down in a patch of clutter-free grass.
Adam placed his hand on Leo's face hearing a moan that put some relief in him as he hesitantly moved away, wanting to stay with Leo yet couldn't, knowing the others need help as well.
Returning to the car, he wished the other car's horn would stop honking as the one they were driving was just as noisy making his head throb.
When he approached the car again, he debated who he would go for next, figuring Mikey was the best of choices crawling in from the open door towards him.
The seat belt tight against the turtle's plastron, he tried to unlock it yet to his dismay, it wouldn't as he curse under his breath. Continuing to fight it knowing it was fruitless, he instead desperately searched about for something to use and to his luck, he spotted the perfect object that would work, seeing Leo's blades on the ground in their holster.
Taking one of them, he unsheathed it, only partway at least since they were too long and he didn't want them fully out and accidentally hit someone with it.
Adam brought the blade up to the seat belt and saw his way through it until it gave way and snapped showing how tight it really was.
When the belt was free from Mikey's body, Mikey suddenly gasped for air as if he was restricted from it by the belts tight hold.
"Okay…" Adam swallowed hard, placing the blade back down where he found it to free his hands as he placed one hand on Mikey's side receiving a scream from Mikey.
Quickly he let go, hands up in horror looking closer to Mikey's side, it was purple, dark purple as he flashed a look at the turtle's face that had beads of sweat.
"Broken…" Adam bit his bottom lip, knowing Mikey had broken ribs or assumed at least.
"Move… You can't stay…" Adam told him reluctantly doing the one thing that would hurt Mikey more, he had to get the turtle out of the car.
As his attempts to do so, all the while Mikey screamed, making Adam cry over that he was hurting Mikey and sadly he had no choice either.
Mikey didn't stop until he was laid down near Leo as he only at that time gave out moans and whimpers.
"Sorry…" Adam whimpered in return kissing Mikey on the head, "Sorry…" he moved back, holding his wrist against his chest, eyes slowly moving towards Mikey's arm that was wrapped up, remembering he bit him. "Sorry…" he said again, then jumped in fright when the other car aways away suddenly burst into flames and the stench of alcohol invaded his nostrils, even at that distance.
"Driver… drunk?" Adam asked, knowing no one would answer him as he shifted away from Leo and Mikey turning his attention back to Donnie and Raph.
He had to get them out of the car too, before it caught on fire with them in it.
Now was the hard part as he was lost who to help next.
Raph's door was so messed up he wouldn't be able to open it, yet Donnie's wasn't in the best condition either and it looked like the steering wheel had caved in and was pressed tightly against Donnie's leg, which was going to be difficult for him to get the turtle unpinned.
How was he to reach Raphael? "Don… first…" Adam told himself to focus on the easier problem before the more complicated, reefing on Donnie's door that wouldn't let go.
"OPEN!" he demanded, mustering all his strength into it as the door creaked and squealed, snapping open finally as Adam stared at Donnie's leg.
There was a shard of metal sticking right into it, he knew it wasn't hitting any vital veins that would make Donnie bleed to death; however, he knew he wasn't fully certain, that is, yet knew he was not to remove it and happy it snapped off from where it came from.
The big issue he could tell was the fact Donnie's leg was pinned between the seat and wheel.
With an attempt to move the wheel off, he failed, unable to budge it and receiving screams from Donnie.
"Need… to move… it…" he told himself looking around then his eyes set on the latch that would open the trunk, it could have something for him to use right?
To his luck, the latch still worked and the trunk popped open as he ran to it and peered inside. It was stocked full of food, blankets, a spare wheel and a crowbar, that was ideal and something else he was happy to see, a first aid kit.
Snatching the crowbar first he went back to Donnie, he could use it to free Donnie then use it on Raph's door to pry it open.
"This will hurt…" Adam warned Donnie gently stroking his cheek, "One... two… three!" he counted, then jerked the crowbar lifting the wheel.
Donnie let out a howl and it took everything in him not to give in as he pulled Donnie out witnessing his greatest fear Donnie's leg started to bleed and it wasn't slowing down, the wheel was cutting off the circulation.
"Shit!" Adam gasped placing Donnie down and grabbing Leo's sword unsheathing it and slashed forward cutting one of the seat belts and wrapped it around Donnie's leg tightly to cut the circulation once more and stopping the bleeding.
Sweat beating down his brow, Adam whimpered wishing someone would wake up, he didn't know what he was doing and he was afraid of messing this up and losing one of them.
"No… doubt…" he encouraged himself wiping the tears from his eyes and continue helping Donnie bringing him to the others.
Back at the car Adam faced Raphael's door in dismay, it was smashed in good, would he even be able to open it with a crowbar?
This would be the job for the jaws of life, not a flimsy metal bar, yet again what other choice did he have?
He couldn't remove Raph from the front, nor move his chair back and remove him from the back seat he had to open this door. "Can do it…" Adam moved forward.
"That will not work," a voice called from behind, startling Adam.
He twirled around in a panic crowbar in hand, ready to strike seeing in his horror one of Bishop's men standing there.
Narrowing his terrified eyes at the human Adam growled as a smile came from the man, who hid half his face with a helmet.
"Good to see you have some fighting spirit left," the human said, as the voice familiar made Adam tilted his head at the man unsure what to do.
"I have the tool to get that Raphael out, but I have to hurry before the boss figures out where you guys are. I have a secure place not far from here where you can hide until tomorrow. That is as much time I can give you until the boss starts making extensive searches of this area."
Adam looked over his shoulder, then snarled when the man had made an attempt to move towards the car, "No!"
"Ah jeez Raphael, don't be like that," the man told him making Adam shudder from the name as he corrected him with a sharp tongue.
"Adam!"
"Adam… I see…" the man repeated with a slight sadness in his voice.
"And no!" he repeated aggressively to defend Raph from one of Bishop's men.
"You're not going to let me near this car, are you? Man you two can be so stubborn at times… fine," the man shook his head, removing his helmet making Adam dropped the crowbar.
"Is that better?"
"Your… you're… dead…"
"No Raphael I'm not… I'm sorry..." the man's lip tightened and eyes not fully falling onto Adam's, instead focus on the car only, "I don't have time to explain, you and they are in danger and we must leave now. That is if you will let me near the car now?"
Slowly Adam nodded, eyes wide and lost, "But… you're dead… Casey Jones…"
"No bro… I'm far from it, but what you should concern yourself with is that Raphael, now let's help him and the others, okay?"
"Okay…" Adam moved as Casey, someone he knew died long ago was alive before him, how was that possible? How did Casey survive the war?
TBC