Who am I? - CH16
The Teacup is Cracking
Disclaimer: TMNT isn't mine and this is just a fanfiction writing. No money is being made on this story.
(TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version and events, the turtles are in their late 20s.)
Warning: It has horror elements.
Rate: T
Drama, family comfort/hurt, and heartache...
Summary: {The beast is among us...}
AUTHORS NOTE: Just to clarify, when it comes to addressing Adam's gender, the brothers address differently. Mikey and Donnie will say she/her when Adam is human, he/him when Adam is a turtle. Leo and Raph will say he/him regardless if Adam is female or male. To them, Adam is referred to as a male using that when addressing Adam. This also will affect the gender choice in the current point of view of the brothers regardless of form, which will determine if Adam will be referred to as he/him or her/she within parts of the story. This will switch back and forth since each tends to take the point of view throughout the storyline. Sorry for the confusion, but I don't believe all four brothers think the same when it comes to Adam's gender. That said, one other thing that will happen is that Raph only, still calls Adam a turtle even when Adam is human as well, this is his mindset and how he perceives Adam.
Tracking through the heavy rain with the rolling thunder on their heels, it felt like hours since they started, yet was less, when they finally arrived. He squinted in dismay at what he discovered to be the correct destination he was leading his family towards, having his high hopes that were crushed in a matter of seconds.
"Is this it?" Leo asked hissing through his teeth, disappointed it wasn't a dryer location or appropriate shelter.
The misleading information giving him another impression of what he would find here wasn't due to the lack of info on the map he was following. He did indeed read it right, the word 'cave', however, he was hoping something more sizable for the large group than this. He would have thought that it being suggested at all this Casey would have thought over such details, factoring them in when labelling safe shelters for them.
The small hole in the side of a sizeable rock appeared to be housed for a bear once upon a time, but long-abandoned since and was damp inside with other issues he kept on noting in his head multiple times in repeat. The outside did have some coverage yet not much with a few low bushes that help camouflage the entrance at certain angles.
"It's not five-star Leo, but we don't have the luxury to head to another location. That storm is almost on top of us, we are all cold and still injured-" Donnie started to explain while the younger two turtles entered taking their packs off and giving the small hole in the rock, that they will be calling home that night a good look over.
"I get it," Leo sighed, "Adam, Mikey you two start setting up, make a fire and get some food cooking, Donnie you can rest inside and instruct where to set up the sleeping arrangements and see if you can try to manage it to keep us warm and dry for the night. Raph, you and I will get some brush to cover up the cave entrance a bit more to stop the wind from entering if it starts to change directions. That should also make it harder for anyone to notice it or our fire. While you're at it, can you make sure our tracks are covered too, so it isn't evident we are here."
"Sure, Leo," Raph answered and veered off to his task leaving Donnie with Mikey who in turn helped the brother to their new humble adobe.
Each went to work; Adam went through his pack that had only wood which the leader had insisted they gathered at the cabin since the weather could prevent them from gathering anything dry enough to use.
Mikey started supper and Donnie instructed Adam where their beds should be placed and set up a makeshift canopy over the sleeping area to avoid any dripping through the night in case the storm didn't let up. It wasn't long after that all the preparation was done and the night sky pitch black was alive with flashing lights and crackling bangs.
"Even Bishop desperate, wouldn't be active during this storm," Leo assured the group taking a seat beside Adam who in turn still wouldn't meet his gaze. The turtle was nervous and Leo knew why, the question was how much would Adam be willing to say and was it wise to push answers?
"Supper will be ready in a couple of minutes," Mikey broke the silence understanding all eyes on Adam wasn't helping his anxiety, especially knowing about how Adam was worried over his Casey's safety.
"Fair enough," Leo nodded, then placed his attention on Adam, "Adam do you care to explain what you mean by Casey, your Casey?"
The turtle shifted uneasily and then stiffened when Raph's hand went on his shoulder, "Take your time kid, we are not pissed off, okay? This is... really messed up and no one is sure what to think of it. We just want to get to know this guy, to know him as you do."
"He... Made me... promise..." Adam sniffled biting his bottom lip.
"Not to tell us about him?" Leo questioned earning a nod.
"Why?" Donnie asked abruptly, having the kid shudder.
"Danger..."
"He is? Or will put us in danger?" Leo asked calmly.
"All..."
"Hey bro, the little dude told me before we got to the cave, he is afraid of Casey getting hurt by Bishop for just mentioning his name and breaking his promise by doing so," Mikey added in to help out.
"Thanks, Mikey." Leo appreciated that information that shed some light over the situation as he thought it over, "So I'm taking it, by telling us who he is, not only puts him in danger with Bishop but us as well?"
There was a nod again from Adam who had his head low, "Casey... said... if Bishop finds who... he is... he can't find the truth..."
{Truth... Of?}
"Truth?" Donnie darted a look towards the shrinking turtle, with a few blinks he then placed his hand on his chin, "So is your Casey looking for the truth... about you? Or something else?" The question had to be asked, knowing this wasn't simply a black and white situation.
Adam let out a breath and shrugged as there was a confused expression on his face, "Both?"
Annoyed by the uncertainty, that he took was genuine, not some ploy, Donnie looked away from the group. "Well, this isn't getting anywhere," he complained, racking his brain on another path of interrogating that could be fruitful.
{Does the beast know? What is truth, what is lies, what is deceptions, illusions of the mind?}
Seeing that Leo was geared up in taking control of the investigation, he jumped in with one more question that was plain as day the obvious conclusion, but wanted Adam to admit it, "Is your Casey from this world or another?"
"Don?" Leo turned his head to his brother who placed a hand up not to interrupt nor change the subject.
"Is your Casey from this world? How long have you known he has been working for Bishop?" he repeated his question adding another, getting a glare from Leo. Regardless if the eldest brother wasn't pleased over how demanding the questions were, he managed to refrain to intervene, for now, seeing Adam trying to answer then avoiding them with silence.
"Another... no... yes... another? I... just remember now..."
"Now?" Donnie tilted his head. Looking at the turtle in the eye before continuing with his second question taking the confusion of another world being a yes, "As in when, since he rescued you and Raph from Bishop or now as in after the car crash?"
"Car Crash," Adam answered, then fiddled with this hand, rubbing them together nervously, "That's bad?"
"Yes and no," Donnie told him and then turned towards Leo, "It depends, but for now you can tell me you forgot about him until recently?"
"Yes..."
"Donnie?" Leo stepped in, wondering why Donnie appeared apprehensive.
"Leo, can we speak in private?" Donnie asked then turned to the others. "Don't worry, it's nothing heinous as it may seem, just a theory. However, I prefer to avoid mentioning around you, Adam, in fear it will influence your memories or place suggestions."
"Is that all?" Raph asked annoyed, showing he was not buying it since he hasn't forgotten what Donnie was suggesting earlier about how Bishop could have implanted ideas and even orders into the turtle for a later date.
"Yes," Donnie put a hand up to Leo to help him to his feet as the two walked away from the warm fire and stopping at the entrance.
Beyond the cave passage, the outer world was nothing more than a black sheet before them.
Leo waited with what little composure he had left, for Donnie's explanation on why he believed this should be told in private witnessing that look in his brother's eyes. The one that he has been growing to dislike and despise, the very one that screamed conspiracies, which were running through his brother's head once again.
"You don't believe him?" Leo said flatly.
"Oh I do, I believe he believes this at least, yet still there are too many questions," Donnie pointed out.
"Are you still on the notion that Bishop is using Adam?" he asked next.
"No, and yes..." Donnie bit his lip seeing his brother trying to read him as a sigh came out, "Yes in the matter of his memories gone, the fact he never remembered this Casey until now, how he didn't recognize him when they got captured-"
"They drugged Adam," Leo reminded him.
"Yes and before that moment? Raph said this guy never wore a helmet so he was easy to recognize."
"What if it was a delayed response? Not surfacing until the crash that could have triggered the memory of his Casey?" Leo suggested as Donnie mumbled under his breath.
"I took that into account, then there is why he doesn't ever mention his brothers, yet called this Casey his brother."
"I noticed that too," Leo turned towards the rain looking at it trying to see the individual drops if that was possible, "Raph sees our Casey as his brother, I would think the same for Adam. Then yes it comes back to what of his other brothers, if he has any did he forget them too? That must be hard, it just shows how fragile his memories are, but I don't think Bishop done anymore then erased them or tried to. Adam is not a puppet Donnie you have to stop seeing him as one."
"Leo I'm not doing this for to be malicious, I'm trying to be careful and approach this logically, taking into account all evidence before me," Donnie hissed, feeling insulted that his brother didn't see why he was doing this, why he out of all of them had to play the damn bad cop, for no one would dare to.
"Donatello, I understand how much you want to get to the bottom of this and not have any more surprises, but don't you think you're taking it a bit too far?"
"Leo, does it not concern you that he doesn't remember his own brothers? For what purpose, why wipe his memory at all? What does it serve to Bishop to have a clean slate than to mold and manipulate that individual for his selfish desires?"
"I don't have the answer Donatello, no one does," Leo threw his arms up.
"Exactly my point!" Donnie growled in return, "Who is to say his lost brothers are not in the same condition ready for orders?"
"What?" the leader blinked at him dumbfounded, "Donnie are you hearing yourself right now?"
"I am hearing myself loud and clear, but are you? Ever since the beginning, you have been so willing to take his side, disregarding everything I say, everything that I have been trying to bring to your attention! I'm starting to wonder who here is the true pupp-" Donnie yelled in frustration, ready to accuse Leo.
"I'm sorry..." Raph's voice came from behind interrupting them both as they turned to tell Raph to stay out of it, yet just coming aware it was Adam, not Raph who still sat at the fire shrugging.
"You two for trying to make this secret are very loud," he suggested with a smirk then pointed to Adam who had his head down.
"Ah crap," Leo could only get out scratching his cheek, "I'm sorry Adam it's just that..."
"I'm sorry I can't remember... I'm sorry...," Adam interrupted starting to cry, with hot tears running, "I'm sorry... I hurt you all... I'm sorry I make you fight...I'm sorry I tried to hurt us..." crying harder Adam shuddered before them as Raph's once smirk faded regretting not stopping the kid from approaching them. "I'm sorry... I didn't tell you about Casey... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
Leo helplessly witnessed the turtle starting to break down repeating how he was sorry, how he made them angry with each other, how it was because of him that Bishop was hunting them and so forth, to even stating they shouldn't have helped him, he was a complete mess with spewing words and raining tears.
It was heartbreaking and Leo placed his arms around Adam to comfort him, "It's okay, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault then Bishop's he should be the only one to be at blame. You did nothing wrong; we do not regret meeting you and being with you, you hear me!"
Sniffling Adam didn't answer yet stop saying sorry as the room was filled with crying, rain and the crackling of the fire. Donnie too didn't say a word hopping forward to go back to the others only to be stopped by Adam's hand that held something to him.
"I'm sorry not to trust you..." the kid whimpered revealing what he was holding out, the purple mask.
Donnie looked towards it with blank unemotional features, "I"
"Trust... me... I... will...trust... you. I will... I will let you... take blood... I will be good... I want you to help us..."
"I will try..." Donnie could only say, that came out colder than anyone wished to hear. He subtly brushed Adam's gesture away not accepting the mask and hopped his way back to the fire, leaving the turtle confused on why he wouldn't take it. He was trying, he wanted to set things right, however, Donnie didn't, and he didn't understand, what did he have to do to make amends?
He knew part of this outcome was over what he had done prior, but he was over it, willing to gain their trust as he knew he would be alone if it wasn't for them, and feared to go back to being lost in the abyss.
"It's just not the right time yet," Leo patted him on the head, giving him his warm smile to ease his mind, "Keep a hold on it until he is ready as well to move forward. Don't let this upset you or discourage you either, we are all tired and that has quite an impact on one's mood," he explained, "Try again later, he doesn't mean to come off cold, he has a lot on his mind."
Nodding slowly Adam shuffled back to the fire away from Donnie, who made sure not to make any eye contact.
In a matter of seconds, Mikey scooped the kid up in his arms and started to tell some funny story about Raph who barked back in protest that he had to be victimized for their pleasure when there were plenty of stories on Leo he could come up with.
With a heavy sigh, Leo cast his gaze at the fainted woods that he could barely make out, wishing things were simpler and easier to manage.
He didn't know what to do, or whom he could confide in for some guidance.
Donnie was one he normally looked towards but right now even though they stop arguing, the flames were still burning with doubt and speculations.
Raph in past experiences prove that he was not an effortless individual to confine with over issues and Mikey though easy to talk to had his own burdens, with his hands full to keep the mood in good spirit, if not there would be more brawls happening.
Were things unravelling of the seems due to lack of training to be a proper leader or was this just how things go regardless of skill set or experience?
Either way the only thing he could do that was in his power and control was to get them home in one piece than from there, he would have to figure out how to stop his family pulling apart to the point where no one will be able to mend it in the end.
{Is trust truly given? Is it real? Or another pawn in the great game... trust... can be shattered with little effort in the eyes of the beast. Trust only oneself... and me...}
TBC