Who am I? - CH17
The Elephant in the Room
Disclaimer: TMNT isn't mine and this is just a fanfiction writing. No money is being made on this story.
(TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version and events, the turtles are in their late 20s.)
Warning: It has horror elements.
Rate: T
Drama, family comfort/hurt, and heartache...
Summary: Now let's discuss the Elephant in the room. What can they do?
Through the brush and between the leaves was a white wall, a wall created by pouring rain.
The cold rushing wind blew it sideways and luckily with the cave's entrance direction, it wasn't in its path.
Raph sat there with one eye peeking out since he was assigned to being the watch turtle for a quarter of the night.
Thus far, as they figured, Bishop nor any sign of life hasn't been spotted and with luck, the storm will rage on during the day too, with it clearing by nightfall when they are ready to continue their journey to the sub. How things were in their favour that appeared to be the case, how much of that was wishful thinking, no one challenged it.
With the events that prior unfolded, everyone had their dinner, talk a bit, which was a light conversation, not daring to allow it to reflect on any subject matter that was based on the present.
Donnie for the most part was in his own little world handing off the chit chat between his three brothers and Adam, who mostly just nodded then was vocal.
It wasn't so bad regardless that the tension could be cut with a knife, even so, everyone tried their best not to dwell on the problematic topics, not like the train wreck was any worse than it already was.
"Wish it would stop raining, or at least tone down a dial," Leo said softly behind him, "Not saying I want Bishop to have leeway, but It would be less damp and drafty in here."
"Well, we can't have everything perfect Fearless," Raph shrugged, having his brother sit beside him.
"True," Leo stretched then looked over his shoulder, "At least two of them appeared to be comfortable," he snickered, hinting to him to take a gander behind him.
The response was a sigh in surrender, then he turned his head only to shudder, bolting back a look at his older brother who was grinning.
"Don't you dare," Raph growled in warning, watching Leo point to himself innocently.
"Me?"
"Yes, you, don't you dare think you can use that on me, no one will believe you it was me!"
The leader's smile grew brightly as he shrugged, then placed his hands out to ease the disturbed brother, "Don't worry I will not blackmail you for Adam's actions, I'm not Mikey... though you have to admit it does bring back memories."
"Sure," Raph sourly muttered looking back towards the rain.
"You two used to be that close when we were kids. Can't count how many times Mikey would crawl into your bed for protection from the monsters," Leo air quoted monster, being it was the dark, not some phantoms lurking in the night. Mikey had a vivid imagination and would psych himself to the point he would rush to Raph's room in search of shelter. Though grown up that never actually changed... it is now Donnie's bed that he runs to since Raph made it clear years ago that wasn't happening anymore.
"Well, if they are comfortable then I'm not complaining, just don't try to twist it was me and not him," Raph warned him again, receiving a nod in compliance.
"Agree, I think Adam feels safer being close to someone... being on the topic over feelings..."
"What is it Leo," he asked dryly knowing this was coming. The leader has been tiptoeing all night in an attempt to bring it up as subtle as possible.
"How are you feeling?" Leo questioned, not trying to sound pushy, yet it has been hours since the ordeal with not a single moment to reflect upon it. He needed to know now, having it weighing on his shoulders longer than he was willing to let it be. In a nutshell, he was worried about his brother's well being, including his mental state. It was bad enough things were as it stood, falling apart around them, he had to try to prevent even the little things from escalating and piling up with the rest, facing one issue at a time.
"How do you think I feel?" he tilted his head at him then let out a sigh before crossing his arms. "I'm trying to figure it out, okay. It will take time."
"Fair enough, what of the pain?" he asked next, pleased his brother was at least willing to express that much. Many would disagree that the answer isn't much of one, however, this was Raph and any response was a significant and major achievement when presented.
Another heavy sigh came from him as he shook his head, "Manageable, the drugs we have, been doing the trick but only to a point. Don says they are strong enough to reduce some of the pain, however, for the good shit that would work wonders... will..."
"Right..." Leo bit his bottom lip, "we can't have you high we need you aware," he then agreed, wishing that wasn't the case. At the moment, having Raph either out of commission or medicated to the point that he isn't thinking straight wouldn't be ideal if things got heated fast, their group was in poor condition as it was to fend off any assault.
"Don't want to be high, though I would kill for a cold one right about now..." Raph nodded, then took a good look back to the others, a bit annoyed that Adam and Mikey shared blankets snuggled together for warmth before the fire. As of Donnie, he was singled out, more over his own choice, left alone on his side of the fire and was sound asleep. It wasn't surprising since he was head bobbing during supper showing his fatigue was getting to him.
"So, Leo can we be serious for a moment?" Raph started then wet his lips, slowly set his gaze upon Leo's icy cold eyes which were studying him.
"On what?" the eldest asked, trying to see what was running through Raph's mind, unsure why he would ask such a question, wasn't he always serious?
"You know the elephant in the room?"
"It's not about this Casey is it?"
"Well, do you want it to be?" Raph raised an eyebrow, seeing how fast Leo was to jump to the subject.
"Depending on what you think of the situation, we have already flatly put it that we can't start to miss trusting and make accusations..."
"I think the guy is legit Leo," Raph cut in, to show where he stood. Mikey so far showed he was on the sidelines on the inquiry over whether this Casey could be counted on, Donnie was apprehensive, to say the least, and Leo was giving the guy a chance not like there was anything else he could do.
"Why do you say that?" Leo cant his head, curious over his brother's reasoning.
"Shell..." Raph huffed, "You know, why."
Leo about to respond, raised a finger, then it fell immediately along with his expression on his face that went vanilla, "Seriously, for he let you beat him up, that alone allowed him to earn your trust?"
"Yep," Raph puffed up his chest all proud of himself, "Any man that is stupid enough to let me hand him on a silver platter like that must be a Jones."
"What?" Leo gasped blinking wildly at Raph dumbfounded over the messed-up logic, "What the heck kind of reason is that?"
"A good one!"
"Unbelievable..." Leo mumbled, gawking at his brother before placing his hand on his face, "Remind me later on to never ask for your opinion over anyone that is possibly a sadist, or similar to you in any shape or form..."
"Hey," Raph lightly punched Leo in the arm, "I do have a good sense of character, have you know."
"Oh… sureeee, if you determine one's character based on how much pain a person can endure or willing to do to prove to you... sure..."
"Pff," Raph retorted, looking back at the rain, "So you okay with this guy too so far?"
"I will give him the benefit of the doubt for now, until then I will not fully trust him, but enough to give him leeway to prove to me he can be."
"The kid trusts him, that is for sure and I believe that should be enough," Raph started seeing Leo thinking it over with a nod then he added, "and he could take a good beating too..."
With an eye roll, Leo shook his head, "Sure back to that... Either way, at least we are on the same page, we will find out more once Adam starts remembering."
"Yep... we are on the same page... but... now back to the elephant in the room..." Raph stretched out his arms before him ignoring the look his older brother gave him.
"I thought that was?" Leo confused thought everything was said up to date, regarding over Casey if he should be trusted or not, Adam being trusted and dismissed that he is being used as a weapon from Bishop against them, what more was there?
"Nope, though good to know how you feel about this Casey, I still have questions about him, but later."
Studding him Leo shifted, wondering what it could be, feeling a sudden sickness in the pit of his stomach.
"Shell..." Raph sighed after moments of silence, "Do you really need me to spell it out?" Having no response from his fearless leader, Raph grumbled, "Donnie-Mc-Hyde."
"What of Donatello?" Leo reluctantly dared to ask, knowing now where this might be going.
"What the shell Leo? Come on! You can't be that blind not to see the egghead been acting," Raph snarled.
"He is stressed," Leo suggested getting another growl.
"Stress? Leo that isn't an excuse, shell he is... he is..."
"What?"
"He is..." Raph threw his arms in the air then lowered his voice realizing he was raising it and he didn't want to wake the others up, "He has been acting off, not like him at all. He is irrational, easy to jump to conclusions, he is angry, he is... just not our Donnie lately!"
Placing his hands behind his head he grumbled with a frustrated growl, before continuing, "Okay, I would normally congratulate him for disobeying your orders on any other good day, but the things he has done from the beginning to now... it's not his way," Raph spat disheartened showing his anxiety just bringing that much up. "Donnie has always been the one to say 'Hey guys lets trust this stranger we should give it a chance' not 'fuck it kill it and ask questions later'," he added making Leo blink at him over his examples of how much a difference Donnie was before and now.
"I understand more than anyone," Leo admitted over the little fact that no one knew about the water supply other than him, "That he has been acting off, but like I said it is probably due to stress. We all are and the current situation doesn't help."
"Leo that is just a poor excuse to dismiss it," Raph told him worried, "Shell Leo, I..."
"What do you want me to do, Raphael?" Leo inquired, as the muscle turtle fell short looking wearily towards the entrance lost. He wasn't the only one when it came to Donnie, Leo wasn't sure how to deal with the matter at hand either.
It wasn't like Donnie was hiding how he has been so defiant, using excuses for his behaviour, resorting to methods that were uncharacteristic to get his point across. Sure, lately Leo would admit he has been harder to make any conversation with or compromise when it came to certain subject matters, regardless of his own unfortunate conditions that they had to deal with, the path Donnie has been walking to handle it was alarming.
At times it was like they were not dealing with their Donatello if that made any sense. It was messed up and he was the leader with no Ph.D. in psychology that was needed right now, more than anything.
"I don't know," Raph finally answered, "I just want him to..."
"Start being his old self?" Leo finished, "I understand, I wish he would too, things are spiralling out of control on all ends."
"So then what?" Raph looked for guidance, something that was rare and it scared Leo that Raph would look for it over Donnie in particular.
"Maybe the right solution is that we get him to talk to someone?" Leo suggested.
"Oh sure, we will call a shrink up right away on that Leo," Raph grumbled.
"I'm trying Raph," Leo spat not pleased by the attitude.
A silence rose between them, the rain kept up with the wind howling which it was obvious was the reason that the others haven't intervened in the conversation, being drowned out by the white noise.
A moment after as both just sat there, Raph rubbed the back of his head, "Sorry, Leo. I know you're trying... maybe you're right, someone should talk to him... but not us."
"Who then?" Leo asked, tilting his head towards him.
Raph shrugged, then bit his lip thinking of someone perfect to talk to him that wasn't Master Splinter or Angel, "How about LH, he's still in town right?"
"Oh, right," Leo's eyes lit up just remembering that Leatherhead was still in New York and those two got along very well. If there was anyone that Donnie would be willing to talk to regardless of the type of topic it would be Leatherhead. "That would be a good idea, when we get back I will speak with Leatherhead and see if he can somehow have a talk with Donnie. He might know how to approach him without insulting him, making this more complicated or allowing him to become worse."
"Exactly," Raph nodded quickly, "but until then?"
Leo leaned back, rubbing his lips, then answered.
"We will just have to deal with Donnie, remind him he isn't alone, his opinions do matter and hopefully get him to communicate with us more without pushing him or engaging nor conflicting towards any off responses he might have. We will be home in a day or so, weather and Bishop permitting," Leo sighed unsure himself.
"Huh... I guess we play by ear? Shit, Leo, things are really going south aren't they?"
"Even so... we have been through much since we first emerged from the sewers Raphael, and all those times we always pull through, as long as we stick together," Leo assured him, contemplating if that same philosophy would work still after all these years.
A flash lit up the sky in a magnificent display and with that being his cue, Raph rose from his seat patting Leo on the shoulder. "Getting some sleep, Fearless, your turn on watch," all he said not continuing the conversation.
What was said, was said, now he had to hope nothing else happens and burdens this family further. He had only hope left, they will get home and finally put this shit fest behind them and try to move forward.
There was silence from the group, except for the snoring of bores from Raph who with a drop of a hat was dead to the world.
With the rain, it drowned most of his racket leaving a peaceful silence in a way, not that ringing type, but the type that made one feel at ease.
Leo could meditate in such conditions if he could only focus, or was willing to at that. However, it wasn't the time nor the place for that, he was on duty and had to keep his eyes and other senses peeled for any disturbance beyond the cave's entrance.
He still couldn't see much in regards to details, making out the faint outline of trees not far off.
"If this keeps up, it would be ideal." Leo had mixed feelings over how it was miserable out there, now if it continued during the day and slowed down by dusk that would be perfect, yet the other hand it gave him the chills making him uncomfortable and damper his mood all the more.
Leaning back Leo let out a sigh, eyes narrowed on that tree line, the rain distorted the trunks playing tricks on his mind.
Then he became alarmed for one second, almost jumping out of his shell swearing someone was standing there staring at him. Yet with a blink, it was gone without a trace, so he summed it up as part of his imagination.
"Maybe I should switch soon," he muttered, placing his hand on his forehead, fearing what else he will see dwelling in the dark.
Taking a breath, he rose letting out a stretched then froze seeing there was something far to the right between two tall trees.
It was distorted hard to make out, but it was obviously humanoid.
The dark figure stared at him with a featureless face, long forgotten. Those eyes were strangely familiar, yet at the same time when he tried to visualize the appearance of them, he went blank, as if like it was there but not.
Every time he attempted to comprehend any of the details, other than some figure standing there he couldn't. Some weird reason his brain couldn't grasp its appearance that slip through his fingers when he thought he had it figured out.
The thing stiff and straight didn't move, waiting... What it was waiting for he wasn't entirely sure. In its presents, an overwhelming sensation took root, not of fear, not of worry, not of anything negative, yet loneliness, sadness and those feelings tug at his heartstrings. Those strings, something lingered in the darkness slowly awakening from a dream.
"I hate you, Leo!"
The words like daggers from his nightmare from nights before became reality ringing in his ears, though he swore it didn't come from the figure yet beyond it, an echo of a past.
Then another came, just as haunting as the other that made him quiver, feeling like a youth again. It was powerful that he lost himself wanting to retreat to the others for comfort. Fighting the waves of fear, he didn't cave in confronting it and the figure that was still waiting... waiting for him...
"Shell..." Leo gulped, conflicted by his emotions to make any rational decision. The intruder didn't feel threatening, yet sad. Should he approach it, or awake the others? It was tearing him apart from the inside, then suddenly he stiffened when he heard another voice.
"Don't... go... come... back..." the voice so vivid in his mind, he knew it came from the shadow this time around.
Whose voice it was, was a mystery, one that he deep down thought he should know off hand. The figure shifted and before Leo could reflect on his own actions, he moved out of the cave into the rain towards the individual quickly, making a dead stop a few feet away.
Even this close, he couldn't make the individual details, being blurred by the rain, or was it not the case? Confused, he bit his lip, annoyed at himself for taking this risk and not thinking it over. It was Raph's department to act before thinking, not his.
"Who are you?" Leo asked softer than he anticipated, in his mind's eye he was going to be demanding and show his authority by his body language and tone, instead was acting like he knew the person and was having a friendly conversation with it.
The figure didn't respond, moving slightly side to side. It was peculiar the movement, he could swear the individual was standing still and his body was moving in a wavelike motion, almost as if it wasn't there, a projection, a hologram?
"I said who are-"
"You... have... to... help... him... before... he... becomes... his..." the voice interrupted. It was hollow and staticky like there was a thick wall between them. One thing was for sure Leo got the impression the person was screaming these words, there was fear in the tone, the pronunciation and haste, as if time was growing short.
"Protect who?" Leo asked next, daring to take a step forward, ignoring how suddenly he came aware his body felt colder by the rain that covered every inch of him. His bandana was soaked through drooping down trying to cover his one eye.
"Help... he... wi..." the voice now more distant was failing as the figure started to back away, "can't... let... him... find..."
"Wait! What are you talking about?" Leo reached out as the stranger darted back with impeccable speed leaping farther into the woods.
"You can't just say help him and leave without an explanation or tell me who you are! Why do you feel... Familiar!" Leo demanded, charging forward, chasing the figure that led him deeper into the forest.
No matter how fast he ran he just couldn't catch up to it, it was as if every step he took, it moved two paces from his reach.
"Stop running away," Leo called out jumping over some short bushes that got in the way.
The ground soft under his feet, it took all his skills not to wipe out as his breath became taxing and he felt helpless in reaching the individual that he believed had answers that he been longing for.
A stump now coming up, Leo used his left hand and leaped over it only to find it was more slippery than anticipated, with moss that was slick under his hand throwing his whole body off balance. With a yelp, he fell face first with a splash of muddy water, taking a nice mouth full of soil.
"Gawk!" Leo coughed, trying to clear his airway, exercising slow breaths to avoid swallowing any of the mud at the same time. His face with cake on mud, he wiped it away from his eyes only in vain to find himself alone. The forest around him grew dark as the place became desolate. The figure was long gone and there was no way he would be able to catch up to it, not that he was doing a great job before.
"Shell..." Leo sighed, moving his hands to get some ground to hoist himself up and try not to slip back into the massive puddle.
"This is ridiculous, what was I thinking?" he asked himself, disappointed over his stupidity.
They were being hunted and he was running through the woods yelling at some figment of his imagination, he could only sum it up, like some loon...
"They are going to kill me," he clenched his fists, knowing all too well Raph was going to give him a piece of his mind over this charade, and after they were just talking about Donnie acting oddly and here he goes and does something like this?
"What do I tell them? The truth? Does this have something to do with my-'' Leo started to talk to himself, wanting to hear his voice to feel not so alone, then paused when he felt something odd under his right hand.
"What is this?"
Pulling his hand out of the nasty water he ogled at the object that he found.
"A card?" he questioned, examining it that it was the size of a credit card and made of plastic.
Wiping away some of the muck his heart stopped as he blinked at the photo on the card,
"A... key card?" he trembled, recognizing the logo and company name that was associated with one of Bishop's organizations he ran.
The image was of a woman with short red hair and pure green eyes, most of the information of the individual was worn away with two lone letters of the woman's name left on it, with a hyphen 'O'N', that on its own wasn't what bothered Leo, it was the photo... as he shuddered the name that the face resembled, "Adam?"
TBC