This chapter came out longer than I intended, but I really wanted to have it end on an optimistic note

As time passed, it seemed that the ever looming certainty that Jacky would have to inevitably return to St. Canard Penitentiary to finish the rest of his sentence (including any new charges tacked on after the incident at Whiffle Boy Entertainment) was beginning to become increasingly distressing to Jacky as he became aware that the likelihood of going home anytime soon was seeming like nothing more than a fever dream.

So much so, that the anxiety was clearly beginning to affect him, and maybe it was because she'd seen that happen before, but Claire found that very unnerving to say the least.

Jacky did not handle stress very well, and while he knew it was silly to expect accommodations to be made every single time he reached a particularly difficult situation, he simply did not handle stress very well, and compounding it all was not unlike pushing on a wall made of wet sand. Something was bound to fall apart.

He insisted that he was coming down with something like a cold, and did not agree when all the regular physical exams proved otherwise.

"I really am!" He persisted, sniffling for what must have been the twelfth time during the examination. "Why isn't anyone listening? I'm getting sick! My eyes are itchy, my throat hurts, I keep coughing, and my head feels sore!"

"Mr. QuackerJack, what you seem to be experiencing is nasal allergies because of ragweed, we can easily remedy that for you."

"I think I've got a fever." He whined pitifully.

"Mr. QuackerJack, your symptoms are allergies and may be psychosomatic as well."

"Psycho-what?"

"You've gotten yourself so worked up over the idea that your body is physically replicating the symptoms of sickness, when it's likely the contrary."

"But, what if I actually am sick?"

"Then we'll take care of that. But aside from allergies and possibly some wracked nerves, you're perfectly fine, Mr. QuackerJack."

"I don't feel fine!"

"Alright, Mr. QuackerJack, if you insist, we could run the exam again. But I'm very sure the results will be very much the same."

"Your machine is wrong, then."

"Perhaps it would help if you let us finish the physical, and then we can move on to accommodating your emotional health more properly? Is there anything we can do to make this any easier on you?" The patience was audibly wearing thin.

There was a pause, before Claire was the one to speak up, but she spoke to Jacky instead.

"I'm going to be perfectly honest with you; you're really being difficult right now. I'm sure you're don't really mean to, but whatever has you in a bad mood is really not helping this. What's got you worked up, maybe we can do something for that?"

It was clear that Jacky honestly hadn't thought about how he was actually hindering the exam with his belligerence, and the statement seemed to come as a genuine surprise to him. He blinked and slowly dropped his gaze to the floor before mumbling an apology and a comment of feeling very jittery.

"I'm sure once we finish here, you'll feel better if we step outside."

"... It is nice out. But if it is allergies messing with me, I don't know if I should be outside. But I like outside..." Jacky muttered with a tone of agitation.

The second exam went well enough, with the only thing to note was his blood pressure being somewhat elevated that he had to have it taken yet again after he was instructed to take a few deep calming controlled breaths. He was surprised that about five minutes later, a shallow plastic cup had been handed to him, containing a single, pink caplet.

"... I've already had-"

"It's an antihistamine, Mr. QuackerJack, it should help alleviate your allergy symptoms for a few hours."

"... Won't those sort of pills make me feel all sleepy?"

"Some may be more resistant to the side effects than others, but it will certainly ease away the peskier symptoms."

Jacky stared at the cup shrewdly, appearing to be weighing all sides of the pros and cons with himself, frowning slightly as his eyes darted back and forth between the sides of the cup.

"... I don't know if I'm comfortable with that, wouldn't it react to what's already in my system?"

"I assure you, the necessary checks and cross referencing has been done to be absolutely certain it will not react with your system in any way it shouldn't."

Jacky continued to stare at the cup in his hand, giving it a few lazy shakes to roll the content around to make it rattle against the plastic.

Do you really think it wise to gulp down more pills around here, Jacky? That little internal voice drifted across his mind as a mild state of unease bubbled to the surface. The voice sounded as anxious as he felt, but he'd come to recognize that as internal paranoia giving itself a voice.

"... Most certainly without any doubt whatsoever, that this is totally safe?" Jacky tried to push that inner voice aside for a second to think properly. "I don't want to be sick."

"Ultimately, it's up to you, Mr. QuackerJack. The antihistamine is a voluntary option, you're not required to take it if you don't want to. It may offer temporary relief for your nasal ailments, at the very least."

The inner voice continued to spout off negative concerns with no real weight to the claims, seemingly fueled by unfounded panic.

Don't do it, don't do it, you don't know for sure what it'll do to you!

Jacky dumped the single pill in the cup in his mouth and downed it with a juice box he'd been given earlier in the first exam. The inner voice shouted back more frantic observations, and he merely told it to please calm down before it caused him to have another anxiety attack. It shouted back that it refused to be silent, but Jacky honestly lost interest partway through the rant. That little voice was being irrational from fear of the unknown, but acknowledging that would just feed into that paranoia.

"... I don't think it's working, my face is still a little itchy."

"You just took the pill, it hasn't had time to even work."

That, or they gave you a placebo.

That made an uncomfortable twinge spread through his spine. Placebos. Placebos were part of this whole mess. Who was behind that, who did that to him, why did they do that..?

It wasn't really important now, to be honest. What could he possibly be able to do to change that now, it's done and over with.

The weird sensation continued to linger in his spine, and he must have given off the impression of feeling uncomfortable, as Claire had carefully placed a stabilizing hand on his back. His feathers bristled involuntarily at the gentle touch, and he leaned sideways into her to accept the gesture.

"... Just a little tired…" He mumbled when she asked if he was alright. "... Of course, that's nothing new…"

"Do you want to lie down for a bit when we're done here?"

"No, I'm fine, I'll be fine." He waved a hand half-heartedly between them, quite obviously a reflexive action.

"You sure? I don't mind."

"... I'll manage."

"You'll do more than just that; if you need to take a little you-time, then by all means, take a little you-time."

There was something about that tone of voice that made Jacky feel like he really had no say otherwise. Not so much dominating, as it was more like the you-need-to-take-care-of-yourself tone that didn't leave much room for debate.

He blinked and looked at her with the sort of expression that said just that.

"... Well, that much sounds like I'll have to take that suggestion, don't it?" He said with a weak laugh to his voice. "At the very least, I'd like to spend some time in the courtyard today, it's nice outside, and the leaves are so colorful right now."

Jacky had gotten to be quite fond of a particular bench under a nice tree with a thick canopy of leaves, and it seemed to be his favorite place to go on a day that had nice weather. It made sense; it was in a quiet, contained area, shaded, and well tended to, like a private little park. It seemed to help him forget for a little while that he was still residing at the hospital.

The downside was that the access entry way to the courtyard was about three floors down and on the adjacent wing of the hospital grounds, so, even with the elevator, it was at least a ten minute walk. That's not much an issue for an able bodied individual, but Jacky didn't always feel up to a twenty minute round-trip walk, with or without stairs. Rather, he very much enjoyed the idea, it was just that he had occasionally had "bad days" that put a damper on the idea. He did not like the "bad days", as it usually consisted of him feeling overall just crummy and lacking the desire to do much other than hide in his room to keep his nerves in check.

Hopefully, today was not a "bad day". The last time he'd attempted the venture, he'd been stricken with a sudden bout of full-body weariness that left him feeling drained. The queasy little ache in his stomach that had resulted from the disorienting sensation just seemed to be an insult to injury, as he had to spend the rest of the afternoon in bed until it went away. It all just frustrated him so much to the point of wanting to pluck feathers out of his tired head.

"You feeling up for the walk today, Jacky?"

"I think so. It'd be nice to spend some time outside, the sun's out."

"Well, don't forget that the temperature is dropping these days. I'll try to bring a sweater for you next time I'm here, it'd be terrible if you got sick from the weather. Do you remember what size you wear?"

There was a long pause, as Jacky seemed to be thinking genuinely hard about the answer before he shrugged.

"... I don't know, I can't remember the last time I went clothes shopping."

Of course. She should have known. She was going to have to make an educated guess.

Within fifteen minutes, they would find themselves out in the courtyard on this otherwise lovely early autumn afternoon. He was looking upwards at the gold and crimson leaves in the overhanging canopy above the bench, eyes darting back and forth as if trying to either count them, or find the best looking leaf in the bunch.

Claire couldn't tell what he was thinking about while looking at the leaves, honestly. She did, however, notice that his posture wasn't as relaxed as it usually was whenever they made it to the bench outside. His fingers drummed the wood anxiously as he kicked his feet idly, and his back had yet to ease away from the stiff, upright position he'd held it in once they had sat down. He was very tense in his frame, and he seemed to be whispering something to himself under his breath that sounded like he was debating something internally.

"Jacky?"

He blinked and turned his attention to Claire, and she found herself relieved that he stared at her with a clear gaze.

"... Yeah?"

"You're a little on edge, is everything alright?"

He blinked again and dropped his eyes to the wood seat of the bench, and realized that his fingers had stopped drumming and was currently gripping the seat edge with a very tight squeeze, bending themselves backwards against the joints from the force. He let go and chuckled nervously as he wiggled them to get some of the tension out.

"... Sorry, I was just, um…" He wrung his hands and his smile faltered as he took a deep breath and launched into a hyperactive toned explanation as to what was on his mind. "Yuh-Y'know, I don't really want to see those tapes, but I should. I have to, but I don't want to. But, I don't know what to do about it, because I don't want to watch them by myself, but I don't really want you to see anything bad if there's more footage like that one that really freaked me out, but, but, but then if it does freak me out again, then you won't know what it was that did that and then-"

"Jacky, I'm sorry to interrupt you for a moment, but breathe."

He hadn't seemed to realize that he wasn't pausing in his rapid stream of words, and the squawky, breathless tone he had gained in the last stretch had honestly concerned Claire more than what he was worried about her seeing on the tapes.

A sharp intake of air, and a desperate attempt to control his breathing ensued, and the resulting loss of composure followed. He failed miserably at hiding his face, and worse so at controlling the tremor settling in his frame.

"... I hate this, I hate this so much, I can't do anything without losing my nerve, I'm an absolute mess…" He grumbled under his breath, winding his fingers into the fabric of his shirt anxiously. "... Have to be told how to breathe, can't do anything right…"

Claire gently pulled him towards her and pried his hand from his shirt.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Jacky."

"I can't help it, I'm right, I can't-!"

He was close enough to her now that Claire quickly wrapped her arms around his chest and pulled him across the distance between the two of them on the bench, to where he was now leaning on her.

He squirmed with an uncomfortable groan.

"Claire, please, I am not in the mood to be silly or whatever is happening here…"

"Just take a breath and enjoy the leaves right now, they're not going to be this way for long, you just need a moment to just breathe."

"I've been breathing."

"No, I mean let's make this moment a good memory, let's just enjoy sitting outside like this, autumn days aren't always this nice." She said. "I know you've got a lot on your mind right now."

"... The leaves are nice." He said quietly, nodding. "... I don't want to watch the tapes, but if I don't, I won't know what's on the rest of them…"

"... It's really up to you, Jacky. I can't tell you if you should or shouldn't."

"I know, but I hate making hard choices. And the last time I watched them, I lost my mind again…"

"Well, I mean, I think anyone would if they saw videos of themselves doing things they didn't remember at all."

"... You know what, that's actually a very good point. Still was freaking me out, though." He nodded before rubbing his head with the heel of his hand. "... Claire, be honest, how did you feel when you saw that one tape where I'd… you know, the one that really messed with me..? The really clear one where I went full crazy on the Crimebot? Didn't that bother you to see me do that..?"

"I was actually more concerned about you having a crisis, than what exactly was on the tape."

"... Oh." Jacky said quietly, dropping his head a little. "... I don't really remember what happened between seeing that and realizing that I was trying to get rid of the rest of the tapes in the bathroom. Aside from screaming, of course. So much screaming."

"There wasn't really much to acknowledge outside of what you obviously know."

"... I don't like that tape. I don't like either of them, but that one in particular, I don't like."

"As I said; I won't make you watch them, you have to decide what you want to do yourself."

Jacky shifted uncomfortably as it was clear that the thought of having to decide such a thing was causing anxiety to settle in his gut again like soured milk. He grimaced and gave a feeble noise to indicate that he absolutely hated having to deal with the thought of witnessing whatever else kind of horror lay within the confines of the video tapes.

"... I don't want to, but I have to." He reiterated, sighing. "I really don't want to, but if I don't, I won't really know what all the fuss is about with making me see it."

"What if we ease into it? Maybe not watch them all at once and give yourself some time to decompress so you don't feel so overwhelmed?"

There was a pause again, and some more thought on his part before he said quietly: "... That could work, I guess."

However, that plan had to be postponed as Jacky had developed a stomachache the following day (likely from anxiety), and he didn't feel much like doing anything other than try to sleep it off. It was also a weekday, so that meant that Claire would not be able to visit him until the evening, as she still had to be at work during the day.

Weekdays did not hinder Darkwing Duck, however.

"... Don't you have a day job or something? I'm not in the mood to do anything." Jacky grunted, pulling the blanket over his head. "... Come back later…"

"I'm just dropping off another tape."

"Another-? I haven't even watched the rest of the others yet!" Jacky snapped, sitting up quickly and immediately regretted it as he felt a chill run through him from the sudden change in orientation. He grit his teeth and said in a forced calm tone: "... Is it really necessary to watch all of them..?"

"Look, we are running short on time, before you know it, it's going to be time to review your case, and something is going to have to be done about that."

"And just what am I supposed to do about that? I still don't remember anything about any of that, and if you think watching these tapes is going to change that, then let me remind you that it sure didn't work well the last time we tried that!"

"But at the very least, you need to be aware of what may be talked about."

"It doesn't do me a bit of good if I can't remember any of it!" Jacky shouted a bit more angrily than he'd intended, but to be fair, he was getting frustrated with Darkwing's persistence. "Do you understand that watching them doesn't help much if I can't remember what I was thinking at the time or what was said? I know I have to watch them, but they might as well be subtitled in the language of another planet, because I can't explain anything about it. I'm going to watch them, but that's it, I can't tell you anything about what was happening then!"

"Have you-?"

"I swear, Darkwing, if you so much as suggest that I'm not trying hard enough, I will hit this call button and have you dragged out of this room while I watch." Jacky said, hovering his hand over the controls. "I am not in the mood for banter right now, either do what you planned on doing here or get out. I am not feeling it today."

"... Okay, fair enough." Darkwing mumbled before taking a breath and audibly exhaling. "So, how are you holding up?"

"Are you trying to just make conversation or are you asking because you actually care about the answer?"

"Look, Claire asked me to help you, and I am trying, okay?"

"Well, I'll just be sure to tell her that, then. Just go away for now, I'm tired." Jacky waved a hand at him in a weary shooing gesture.

"Well, then, just be sure to watch that tape as well. There's no specific placement for it, but I suppose you could save it for last, or get it over with as soon as you want, whatever you feel like."

"... Oh, geeze, what exactly is on that tape?" Why do you have to say it like that?"

"You're going to have to watch it for yourself."

"Again with the-! Darkwing, do you enjoy tormenting me in this way?" Jacky said in exasperation. "Why must you insist on dragging this out? Why can't you just tell me what happened? What could it possibly be that you can't just say it?"

"I did tell you. And you attacked me."

There was a pause from Jacky, a lightly heaved sigh, and a rubbing of fingers along his temples.

"... Darkwing, please, please understand that I do not-! Cannot! I cannot believe such a ridiculous idea!"

"Your former boss is me from another universe, you've been digitally transferred to a video game, and you've time traveled. That is the one unbelievable thing that you can't wrap your head around?"

"At least I've seen the other things happen! I didn't see any of that, I don't remember anything about that night, and there is no way that Mr-!" There was an abrupt halt in his speech, as if Jacky had hit a verbal brick wall.

Darkwing watched him blink in absolute confusion as his eyes widened and moved to stare at his pillow, where it was known that he kept the doll under. It was clear that he still did not remember anything about that night, but the thought that crossed his mind was probably in the right direction.

"... He hasn't said a word since I've been here…" Jacky said quietly, continuing to blink, perhaps more than he should be. He gave his head a small shake and pressed a hand to it while looking at Darkwing helplessly. "... I can't get him to talk, I don't know why, he just won't say anything, I can't talk to him…"

The subject of Mr. Banana Brain's sentience was such a volatile thing. One couldn't be completely sure if Jacky would be rational about it, or if he did genuinely believe at that precise moment that the doll was indeed alive. The fact that he was still recovering from a very nasty concussion made this a sensitive type of discussion, and one to be handled with absolute care, especially if he was already upset. He just didn't function well under pressure, and he was clearly beginning to be increasingly distressed.

"... Well, you've been having some issues with your creative output because of the knock to your head, that's probably just one of the… Um… okay, maybe that didn't sound like what I was trying to get at…" Darkwing had started to say before he was very much aware about the apprehensive look Jacky now had. "What I meant was-"

"What if I never make something ever again! I spent my entire adult life perfecting my craft! If I can't create things, what am I going to do, Darkwing! I can't be a toy maker if I can't make toys work!" Jacky was on the verge of tears now, face flushed a reddish color and his voice a hoarse tone. He inhaled sharply and collapsed on the bed in a shuddering heap. "I'm trying, I really am trying! But I just can't make him talk!"

"And no one said that you weren't trying." Darkwing said over the tearful gasping that was escaping Jacky. There was a pause as he tried to think of a way to calm down the terribly distraught Duck before they had another "situation" at hand. He felt this was an outrageous to something he thought was trivial, but Darkwing made sure to not forget that Jacky was not a very rational individual to begin with, even before the head injury.

Darkwing watched him roll over and bury his head in the blankets miserably. He hovered a hand over the toymaker's back before awkwardly patting it in a weak attempt to offer comfort.

"... What in the world are you doing..?" Jacky mumbled wearily, not lifting his head.

"... I'm trying to be supportive."

"... You're not very good at it."

"Well, gee, thanks for that."

"You're too stiff, you can't be tense when you do that, it shows that you don't know what you're doing, and that doesn't help if whoever you're doing it for can tell that you don't have control of the situation. It doesn't feel stable." Jacky said in a quiet voice, peering over the mound of blanket piled in front of his face.

"... Since when are you an expert at comfort?"

"I'm not. I just know what helps me feel better. Claire does it way better than you."

"I take it you're feeling better, then?"

"Not really, nope. The looming existential terrors and anxiety of my predicament still plagues the corners of my mind like a ghost of a febrile nightmare." The stunned silence that followed that statement was met with a snort by him as he clarified in an oddly calm voice and an empty sort of grin: "My nerves are shot to heck and I don't think I've been properly relaxed for a solid two weeks now. I'm an absolute emotional wreck. I've probably cried at least four times this week already. I am really not handling this very well and I don't know why I'm telling you this, to be quite honest, but I suppose excess chatter is a clear sign of stress and boy, am I stressed."

"... You do look a little peaked, now that you mention it."

"Is it that obvious..?"

"Well, a little preening probably couldn't hurt."

"... I have been feeling a little under the weather all morning, if that helps explain it." Jacky said in a quiet voice, grimacing to himself. "... I'm probably just worrying myself sick."

"Have you told anyone about that?"

"What? Why?"

"You're in a healing environment." Darkwing said as if that was an obvious answer.

"I'm here for a brain injury, not to bog down the system with every single inconvenience I have."

"If you're worrying yourself to the point of physical distress, then this is most certainly related to your brain, and all the more reason to tell someone."

"Excuse me, are you my therapist? Where do you get off telling me what I need to do around here, you can't even tell me what's on those tapes, do you really think that I'm going to listen to your health tips?" Jacky snapped back, starting to get irritable again. He was sitting up once again, and stared at Darkwing with a glare set in his features.

"Telling you what's on the tapes is a risk for compromising your retained memory. Suggesting that you speak up over an internal crisis is me expressing concern for your well-being."

"And why do you care so much about that now, of all times? All those years, and you just played along like everyone else. What happened?" Jacky scoffed.

Darkwing didn't immediately respond to that, and Jacky wasn't sure if it was more frustrating than it was unsettling or the other way around. He was starting to feel ill at the idea of all possible reasons, each rapid thought and consideration getting more and more distressing as his anxiety bubbled to the surface again.

Darkwing seemed to have noticed that, as he flashed a somewhat alarmed expression before saying: "Jacky, I am serious right now, are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"... Darkwing, be honest…" There was a mumble from Jacky as he shook his head and pressed a hand to the side of it. "... On the rest of the tapes, do I… Did I hurt anyone..?"

"Honestly? Yes." Darkwing said rather bluntly.

There was a rather long silence from Jacky before he spoke in a quieter tone, sounding as though his throat had constricted painfully.

"... Was it Claire..?"

"No."

It was odd to see such a mix of relief and apprehension on his face, but it was there as a dawning look of horror slowly overtook it again.

"... Is it someone I know..?"

"You know I can't tell you anything that would-"

"Just tell me 'yes' or 'no'!" Jacky shouted, perhaps louder than expected, as Darkwing actually flinched.

"I don't think I should tell you anything until we're absolutely sure you're in a state that can handle the answer." He said truthfully, realizing he was in a tough spot right now. "You said so yourself that you weren't feeling well today."

"That does nothing to calm me down!" Jacky continued to speak in a raised tone of voice, sounding as agitated as he'd been for the entirety of the visit.

"I swear, I really think you need to take a breath or something, you look like you're going to lose it right now, and I am not getting punched in the face again." Despite the tense energy in the room between them, Darkwing still managed to keep his voice level in all the chaos, which the same could not be said about the other one in the conversation.

"I've been trying to calm down, what in the heck do you think I've been trying to do! I can't just calm down!" Jacky howled in misery, catching some of his head feathers in panicked handfuls. "Who did I hurt, Darkwing? It's someone I know, isn't it!"

"QuackerJack, you need to stop before you do something that you're going to regret later."

"Oh, like anything could possibly be worse than the unknown right now!" It honestly infuriated Jacky that Darkwing still kept his voice at such a baseline tone, as if all this shouting wasn't getting even the slightest reaction. Jacky wanted to rage and scream at him, and Darkwing wasn't doing him the decency of partaking in that activity with him. "Darkwing, I don't know the answer to that! I don't remember anything about what I did! You can't just say something like that and expect me to let it go!"

"Look, I'm just here to drop off that tape, I don't have to stick around here if you're wanting to pick a fight with me." Darkwing said, not appearing to be fazed by the confrontational attitude. "If you can at least try to settle down, I'd be more than happy to answer what I can, but I am not going to be responsible for another mishap in this building because we are both on thin ice as far as any one-on-one time goes."

Jacky stared at him while taking several deep, controlled breaths, winding his fingers into the fabric of the blanket he was sitting on. His feathers bristled along his shoulders as he continued to breathe in and out through his teeth. His body was starting to shake.

Darkwing had expected him to explode in anger and continue to shout and rant, but instead, he was caught somewhat off guard when Jacky inhaled sharply and burst into tears. Not just crying, but the sort of loud wailing that one might mistake for the cries of a dying animal. He fell over sideways and let go of the blanket to bury his face in his hands again, curling up in a shuddering ball of ruffled feathers. He continued to sob and Darkwing decided that this was perhaps the fourth most depressing noise he could recall applying that description to.

"... Alright, come on, I might have been a bit harsh a moment ago, but I'm just trying to follow the rules here. You don't have to-"

The wailing got louder and seemingly more miserable. Darkwing wasn't quite sure if that was his fault or not.

"Okay." He said, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "I'll just wait it out, then."

Jacky finally petered out after about a solid ten minutes (which was honestly a bit impressive as to how long he kept that momentum), and he simply laid on his side, arms folded as he stared at the foot of the bed. Darkwing waited before stepping into view and reaching out with the videotape in his hand.

Jacky's tired expression soured further at the sight of the tape.

"... Don't I have enough to watch already?"

"Maybe so, but this one isn't so much an anthology of surveillance videos as it's more a selection of videos I think you might find interesting."

"... What's on it?"

"A selection of videos I think you might find interesting."

"... I don't know why I expected a straight answer." Jacky gave a disgruntled mumble. He sat up and rubbed at one of his eyes with the palm of his hand. "Is this one of those things I should watch with someone, or..?"

"Whatever you want to do."

"Now, I hate making decisions, Darkwing, my brain is tired, have a little sympathy for an ailing mind, why don't you?"

"Sooner or later, you're going to have to make a decision."

"Fine. You're going to watch it with me."

"Oh, really?" Darkwing stifled a small laugh.

"Yeah. I want you to see the exact turmoil you are putting me in by piling another tape in that box. You are going to watch me watch the tape."

"Okay. Fair enough." Darkwing agreed reasonably, knowing it's the least he could do. "Just set the time, and-"

"Oh, you're not leaving." Jacky said in a nearly uncharacteristically calm voice. "You're going to be here when Claire comes back."

"... But, it's a school day."

"And?"

"And it's afternoon."

"I don't see why any of that's relevant."

"... Of course you don't. I'll be right back, I have to make a non-relevant phone call."

"Jacky, are you absolutely sure you want to do this right now?"

Claire was being cautious, as she had not forgotten the time Jacky tried to marathon the tapes, or rather, the only time thus far that he'd made an attempt to do so. And, judging from his check-up results for the day (particularly his stress levels and state of agitation, as well as complaints of feeling under the weather earlier in the day), she was not totally confident that he'd be able to emotionally handle an entire tape of assorted events he was adamant that he could not remember.

"I have to watch these eventually, Claire." Jacky said, however, he did not sound as confident as he was trying to come off as. "It really doesn't matter if I want to or not, it has to be done…"

Claire looked at Darkwing with a look of mild exasperation and gestured for him to step into hearing range of a softer speaking voice.

"... What exactly is on this particular tape?" She said, trying to keep the air free of any vocal tones that could upset Jacky further (as she was well aware that he was agitated earlier in the day). "I know you're trying to help, but you need to run this sort of thing by me for another opinion before you just dump this on him."

"I'll be honest, it's a selection of harder to find surveillance videos with some restored audio, and I think it might help him at least better understand what happened."

"You can't just force him to remember what happened, we've been over this."

"I'm not trying to force anything." Darkwing said. "But he should at least see these."

"That is not your decision to make."

"You can't keep shielding him."

She would have responded to that if not for Jacky's voice cutting into the conversation.

"I can hear both of you, by the way. And I said I was going to watch them." He stared at them, glancing back and forth at either one. "I want to do this. We agreed on it."

They were right. She knew they were right, but she hadn't forgotten his reaction to that one specific tape from the last real attempt to watch any, and the fact that Darkwing had added a newly, unannounced tape to the box without any real indication of its contents was a concern to her. She had no idea how to prepare or what to expect, much like with the other tapes, but Darkwing's vague description did not help in the slightest. What he deemed as a perfectly acceptable selection of video feed was likely him overestimating Jacky's ability to handle seeing it. Darkwing didn't seem to fully understand that Jacky was not as resilient as before, and Jacky also seemed to share that mindset.

And this was all making it very hard for her to keep the peace between them.

"I know we agreed on it, but Jacky, are you sure you don't want to wait until you're not as on edge?" She said gently, knowing that regardless, it would be difficult to sway his decision.

Of course, Jacky was set in his choice, and nothing would change that.

Oh, you stubborn Duck, you.

She wasn't sure what to expect with the contents of that particular tape. Claire had tried her best to track Jacky's activities during that chunk of time that he had no memory of at all, but, of course, he wasn't easy to find on the rare chance that she'd found something more substantial than a newspaper clipping or a footnote in the evening news. If these were in fact surveillance video sightings, she had to wonder what he'd had to have been up to at the time the footage were taken.

"Now, thanks to the modern wonders of easy access to security equipment in wholesale and for civilian daily use, I was able to locate some footage that just wasn't considered newsworthy, or at least wasn't relevant enough to the coverage to be reported on." Darkwing said, as if explaining any of that was going to lessen the potential blow this could have. "Unfortunately, thanks to Jacky's insistence that we'll be doing this right now instead of a more reasonable date, and I am locked into this obligation, I do not have the proper viewing equipment available on hand, which means we'll be using the wall mounted television in the corner that is not as comfortably near a comfortable seating area, because someone is impatient and insists that I have to be here for this at this exact moment."

"Oh, give it a rest, will ya, Darkwing, you think I'm enjoying this at all? Because I'm not." Jacky shot back, having sensed the underlying sarcasm quite easily. "Just get this over with so I can have the rest of the day in peace."

It took a few minutes to set up the tape player, mostly because Darkwing had to stand on a chair to reach the machine in the wall mount, and Claire wasn't going to let Jacky try despite his insistence that he could (not when his center of gravity was questionable, and she wasn't going to risk him slipping off the chair). Darkwing's video compilation skills left something to be desired. Not that either one of them could do any better, but surely he could have done something about the jarring static overlay and transitions.

The first video feed to queue up appeared to be from a camera that was positioned in the back alley of a building in one of the main districts in St. Canard, if the dumpster and trash bins among slightly moist cardboard boxes lining a wall perpendicular to the camera view was any indication.

Claire looked at Jacky carefully, wondering to herself if anything on the screen was going to trigger a reaction in him at any given moment. Thankfully, she was somewhat relieved to see that his face bore no recognition at the setting of the footage. So far, so good; this meant that Jacky wasn't in immediate distress.

If anything, he looked confused.

"... What is that, what is this? That's an alley, but why are you showing me this?" He looked at Darkwing before turning his attention back to the screen. "... What's a camera doing there anyway..?"

Clearly, Jacky wasn't much aware that it was commonplace nowadays that businesses tend to have surveillance at back access doors. Darkwing debated internally if it was wise to tell him that that particular feed ironically belonged to a video game retail shop, and decided that it wasn't really relevant.

There was a sharp inhale from Jacky when slightly grainy video on the screen finally showed movement, and it was clear that he definitely recognized the figure on the screen as himself. If not for the serious nature of this event, it might have been comical to note that he was wearing that inexplicably inconspicuous trenchcoat and wide brim hat over his iconic jester costume, seemingly unnoticed by passersby as he stepped into the alley, holding something in his closed hand that he seemed to be so hyperfocused on not dropping, at least until he made the motion to let it go before it seemed to spontaneously sprout into a particular plant mutant, and it was at that moment Claire recognized the odd looking being as someone she had seen with Jacky that time she had stumbled upon a scene unfolding during her search for her missing boyfriend.

It then occurred to her that this could very well be an angled overhead video feed of that exact event, and she had no idea that they had even been filmed.

"Bushroot!" Jacky shouted, not so much sounding surprised as it was more like he had reacted to seeing a familiar face in the video. He sputtered and gawked, looking dumbfounded. "What-! What did-! What is-! Where did you find this! What is this! What is happening here!"

The body language between the two on the tape was clear: Bushroot was not pleased with QuackerJack, and QuackerJack was far too jovial than was really appropriate for the situation. The chatter they exchanged was difficult to understand due to the murmur of civilian life outside the alleyway drowned out most of it except for when QuackerJack raised his voice, and to be honest, his spoken word was far louder than Bushroot's soft speaking tone, so that was understandable on its own.

However, it was a little startling when Bushroot's voice sounded off suddenly, quite flustered: "... You mulched me! Of all the ways to do it, you had to pick the most unnecessarily violent-!"

"It got you out, didn't it?" Was the response, sounding as though the idea of reducing one to shreds wasn't bothersome to him at all.

Jacky continued to watch the screen with an unreadable expression as the exchange of words resumed. He audibly grimaced when on the video feed, his playfully unhinged demeanor had changed and he leapt at Bushroot in a rage as a defensive tangle of vines sprung up to stop his hands just inches from the plant Duck's neck, screaming in fury as he hurled threats at him, like how he was going to rip the petals off Bushroot's head for saying "that name", as he tried again and again to strangle him.

The tape footage was suddenly fast-forwarded, which seemed to jar Jacky out of his trance as he looked at Claire, then at Darkwing, who was holding the remote and looking a bit sheepish about the content matter.

"... Um, this goes on like that for the next ten minutes, it's honestly a bit impressive how you kept the momentum during the outburst, but-"

"I DIDN'T DO THAT!" Jacky shouted over him suddenly, pointing at the screen in a panicked manner. "I DON'T REMEMBER, SO I CAN'T HAVE DONE IT! THAT'S HOW IT WORKS, RIGHT?"

"... Jacky." Claire said gently, realizing he was definitely having an emotional reaction to the tape footage. She moved closer to him and carefully put a hand on his cheek, trying to get him to look in her direction. "Jacky, do you want us to pause the tape?"

"I didn't-! That's not-! I would never-!" Jacky continued to stammer, seeming as if he hadn't heard the question at all. "Claire, please, you know I wouldn't-! I-! No!" He shoved her hand away, stomped his foot on the last word, and continued to do so as he balled his fists and repeated the word in an increasingly distressed tone. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"... Pause the tape, he's having a meltdown." Claire said swiftly, hurrying to the large window to pull the shades closed. "We can't really talk to him right now, he can hear us, but he's not hearing us, we can try, but keep it simple. He has to come out of it on his own, pause the tape, it'll help if we can reduce the sensory feedback for him, you read the packet, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Pause the tape, this is just like that episode he had at the house." She said again, rummaging around for Jacky's plush pal to give him a comfort item, and was somewhat surprised to see that he wasn't stored under the pillow as he usually was. "... Jacky, sweetie, do you remember where you put Mr. Banana Brain?"

He was still standing in the same spot, very tense, hands at his sides, fingers twitching tirelessly, audibly huffing through his teeth. He didn't immediately respond, so she tried again, keeping her gentle tone of voice. He blinked slowly a few times, and eased his breathing, still staring ahead with a vacant look to his eyes.

"... Turn the tape back on…" He mumbled, shaking his head, reaching his hands up to his head feathers and burying his fingers in them. "... Turn it back on… we're not done watching…"

"Jacky, no. You're done with that for now, you need to-"

"No! We're not done! We are not done!" Jacky screamed suddenly, gripping his fingers tightly around the feathers on his head and yanking roughly, absolutely hysterical now. "We're not done! Put the tape back on! We're not done! I have to watch it, I have to know!"

"And you're going to, Jacky. But, you are not in a good state of mind right now, and you need to let yourself rest." Claire instinctively reached for his hands and tried to pry his fingers off his feathers, as he had managed to pull a few of them from his head already. She paused suddenly, then carefully pulled back some of the feathers around his face, as if looking at something under them. "... Jacky, you're very pale, are you alright?"

Of course, such an observation was often difficult due to the fact that many Ducks had white feathers to begin with, but it was clear that she'd seen that the skin under his feathers had lost a noticeable amount of color. Jacky was still staring distantly, and Claire wondered if he had even heard her at all.

"Jacky, do you want to sit down?" She said, sounding even more concerned than she had just a minute ago. He shuddered, and still didn't respond to her. "Jacky? Jacky, talk to me. Are you alright? Do you need anything?"

At that exact moment, his eyes went wide and he pulled his hands from hers to shakily point at the now paused screen of the mounted television with a strangled whimper.

"Jacky, it's alright, we stopped the tape. You don't have to watch any more of it toda-"

"Claire, I remember that one."

It took her a moment to really register what Jacky had said. She had continued speaking before she stopped in mid sentence and blinked before looking at him

"... J-Jacky?"

"I-I… I don't remember anything else during that, but that one, that one I remember…" He said quietly, still pointing at the screen, jaw clenched as he tried to keep his composure. "... You were there…"

Claire exchanged a look with Darkwing, who was standing several feet away awkwardly, holding the VCR remote in both hands. Then Claire looked at the television screen and instantly recognized that this was indeed a tape of the exact event she had suspected all along. The screen was paused, and the single frame it was of had shown an angled overhead view of Jacky in the process of reaching for a fire escape ladder as Claire reached for him.

"... I don't remember anything else, but… I think I remember this… you were there, and I was scared… I remember just this, and not anything around it, before or after. I remember just this. I remember the ladder and the dumpster, but nothing else." He said, looking at the screen as if it was going to disappear the moment he took his eyes off of it. "... Ladder falling, loud noise, why am I so sad…"

"Jacky, do you want to sit down?" Claire was more concerned at the moment about how unsteady he seemed on his feet than to have really let it sink in entirely that he did indeed remember something. She was going to get him to settle down before she really completely responded to the revelation. She grabbed the hand that was not pointing at the screen and tugged it gently to get his attention. "Come on, there's a chair right over here, let's get you more comfortable."

"... I don't remember anything else, just that…" He mumbled helplessly, looking not at all pleased with this development whatsoever. He followed her to the chair with shuffling feet and shook his head. "... It doesn't do anything for me, it doesn't mean anything, it's useless, I don't know what it means…"

"But, Jacky, you remembered something. For the first time in half a year, you remembered something that you didn't before."

"I don't want to remember anything about that, I just wanted to know what happened!" Jacky said loudly, yanking his hand free and burying his face as he sat down. "I don't want this, I don't want to remember what terrible things I did, I just wanted to know what happened!"

"QuackerJack-" Darkwing started to say, deciding to finally break his stunned silence, but he was swiftly cut off.

"No! You do not speak to me right now!" Jacky snapped at him, his voice managing to reverberate quite effectively in the room, really nailing in how livid he was at the Masked Mallard. "This is your fault! This is all your fault! You harass me constantly, you refuse to answer simple questions, nearly every one of your visits has resulted in my misery, you constantly push these tapes on me, do you get a kick out of watching me suffer! Why are you even here? Why do you insist on being here so much? You can build my case without me, I don't care, I do not care what you do now, I am sick of not having a moments' peace with you around, I didn't even want to do this today, and you kept badgering me on watching this specific tape! Are you happy now? You got what you wanted!"

Maybe it was the fact that the mounted television was so high up in the corner, but Darkwing's subdued reaction and meek expression certainly made him look smaller than usual. Even his cape hung behind him in an unusually timid fashion, and he just stood there, holding the VCR remote.

"Well?" Jacky did not seem satisfied with the silent response, and Claire seemed too stunned by his flared temper to properly reprimand him for being out of line, though, honestly, she had to agree that his frustration was certainly valid. After all, Darkwing had indeed been relentless these past few weeks, not to mention the prior incidents that seemed to always end with Jacky very upset. "Answer me! Are you happy now?"

"No."

Maybe he didn't expect such a calm answer at all, but Jacky's rage instantly halved the moment Darkwing did not return the furious energy back at him.

"... What do you mean 'No'?" He said, blinking and sounding more confused than anything else. He looked at Claire as if he expected her to explain it to him, as if he may have missed some context or had simply not paid any attention to what surely would have explained why Darkwing did not yell back at him this time. "You're supposed to yell back at me, I just threw an entire rant at you, doesn't that make you the slightest bit angry back?"

"No, you're absolutely right: This is my fault." Darkwing said calmly, holding up the remote and hitting a button, which made the video feed speed up, causing the visuals flash by too quickly to really register anything in the memory. Too fast to really know what was happening, almost at a nauseating pace, Jacky thought to himself. "It's my fault you fell through a window. I should have talked you down sooner."

Darkwing glanced up at the screen and hit the play button.

Jacky stared at the screen, still confused before it was suddenly clear to him that the footage was of a figure laying amongst broken glass on the pavement. It was nighttime, angled security footage, much like the other videoes, but there was a noticeable lack of noise compared to the rest. At least until Darkwing's voice cut into the tape, announcing his usual rhetoric before he seemed to realize the figure on the ground was not responding to him, and put a hand on his shoulder to give it a careful shake.

"... Hey, QuackerJack… Can you hear me..?"

"Shut it off!"

This was not spoken by Jacky.

Confused once more, Jacky tore his eyes from screen and was absolutely gobsmacked to see Claire actively trying to wrestle the remote from Darkwing's hands, who seemed just as taken aback at this.

"He doesn't need to see this! He's not ready, you don't know what you're doing to him!" She was shouting, reaching for the remote, which Darkwing had a deathgrip on, mostly because he had no idea what else to do. "I am not losing him again! You have no right to show him this when he wasn't ready!"

Jacky wasn't quite sure if he could ever recall witnessing Claire losing her cool like that before, and it absolutely stunned him to the point that he legitimately did not know how to respond.

"Claire!" He managed once he found his voice. "Stop! It's not that bad, I'm fine, really! I'm just a little bit ang-!"

It happened rather quickly, and looking back, he might have considered the possibility that Claire simply didn't realize that she was acting irrationally, and of course, Jacky understood that particular concept. She did not realize what she was doing exactly until the dust cleared and it really sunk in.

He had reached for her, and she slapped him across the face.

Jacky did not make a noise. Quite honestly, he was left speechless. He didn't even cry out in shock. He just stared sidewise at her, holding a hand to his cheek, head turned slightly from the slap.

Claire managed to pull the remote from Darkwing's hands, pop open the back, take out the batteries and lob them across the room so the remote was rendered useless for the time being. She looked up and froze when she realized something had happened.

Jacky was still staring mutely. He was never this silent unless something was wrong.

Her palm stung a bit, and it was very obvious to her what she'd done.

She'd hit him.

Jacky's reaction to this was honestly very strange. He didn't utter a single sound as he calmly turned around, picked up the two television remote batteries, walked to Darkwing to drop them in his hands, and then, still calmly, Jacky walked past Claire without so much as looking at her, opened the door to the room, stepped out and walked down the hall towards the stairwell.

Claire followed after him, as he walked down one flight of stairs, holding the rail for stability, and stepped across the yellow themed floor, and sat on the bench next to a directory.

"... Jacky…"

"... Ms. Mustela is on the yellow floor."

"Jacky, I really shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay to not be okay."

"Jacky, you know I didn't mean it."

"Her shift is almost over, we can wait right here."

"Jacky, please, I'm so sorry."

"I'm not mad, Claire, I'm upset. Not at you, but that this has been ignored for this long."

"... I don't think I get what you mean."

"Claire, answer me honestly: Have you had any outlet for any of this? You've been dealing with me being here for more than half the year, and I don't think I recall you once mentioning what you've been doing for yourself." Jacky was staring ahead, looking out the large window across from the bench, where you could see the reds and oranges of the autumn colors. "I know I have a bit of a bad memory as of late, but I really don't remember you doing something for yourself, it's always about me, and that's not healthy."

"... Well, I worry about you."

"I know. And I worry about you." Jacky heaved a sigh and finally looked at her. "I know I'm not the easiest to deal with sometimes, but I'm not totally helpless. It's okay to let me have a little conflict sometimes; I have to relearn how to handle things myself, you know?"

"But… No one else is-"

"I know. I don't really have much else besides you to defend me. You're really all I've got right now."

"... So, what do we do now?" Claire said, feeling guilty and defeated.

"Sit with me. We'll wait for Ms. Mustela together, and we'll get you a session set up. There's probably a lot you want to talk about without worrying about what I might think about. I trust Ms. Mustela."

Claire paused before nodding in agreement, taking a seat beside him on the bench, feet together, hands on her knees, back straight, also staring out the window across from them.

A hand found it's way around her shoulder and a careful tug caused her to lean into him as he put his arm around her.

"... I didn't mean to hit you."

"I know." Jacky said reassuringly before snorting a small laugh. "Honestly, with all the chaos happening, I was sure it was going to be Darkwing who was going to be the one who got hit. And I thought I was going to be the one who'd do it. I was this close, really, he's been getting on my nerves all day. You really surprised me."

"I really shouldn't have done that. That's not okay."

"It's okay to not be okay with things not being okay. But you can't pretend to be okay when you're not okay. I understand. It's been tough on all of us. I definitely don't make it easy." He put his head on hers. "... I'm sorry."

There was a bit of a silence between them before Claire finally said: "... The leaves are nice today."

"They are, aren't they?"