It was the end of a long day at school, and eight-year-old Bob was gathering up his books as his classmates ran out. A strident voice yelled, "Watch where you're going!"
Bob looked up and saw his nanny, Mrs. Temple, adjusting her curly blonde wig. She strode toward him and roughly grabbed his wrist.
"Don't manhandle me!" Bob shouted, zipping up his bag.
"Don't speak to me that way, Robert. We have to go home now; Cecil is waiting."
Bob did a double take. "You left Cecil on his own?"
Bob burst into the apartment, where Cecil was tied to a chair in front of the television. "Hi, Bob."
"Mrs. Temple, what have you done?" Bob easily untied his brother, who ran for the bathroom. "I'm telling Mother and Father!"
"They will never believe you over me," the nanny said coldly. "Especially after the time you lost your father's coin collection and told him the apartment was robbed."
Bob scowled and folded his arms. "They'll believe me; enough time has passed."
Mrs. Temple gave him a death glare and went into the kitchen.
Both of Bob and Cecil's parents were busy tonight: their father was working a late shift at the hospital and their mother was at a rehearsal. The nanny and her charges had finished their dinner, and had started on dessert.
"I can't drink chocolate milk, Mrs. Temple!" Cecil whined as she poured it into a glass. "It hurts my tummy!"
Mrs. Temple looked at him so poisonously that he turned away, and Bob decided it was best to just eat the rock-hard cookies without complaint. That was easier said than done.
"Ow!" Bob spat something small and bloody into his napkin. "Mrs. Temple, your cookie made my tooth fall out!"
Mrs. Temple examined the tooth. "No, Robert, this tooth is a baby and it fell out on its own. It looks rather cavitied, too."
"WHAT?!" Bob snatched back the tooth, while Cecil watched it all with a furrowed brow. "I take excellent care of my teeth! You said that just to be spiteful!" He glared down at the tooth, which was indeed a healthy one. This is the last straw.
Late that night, Bob crept into Mrs. Temple's room, glad that the nanny always wore a sleep mask and ear plugs. Her wig was sitting on its stand, and Bob nimbly plucked it off and went back to his and Cecil's room.
Bob carefully opened the window and dangled the wig over the sill.
"They say 'when pigs fly'," he whispered to himself, "but what about 'when wigs fly'?" It was a terrible pun, but Bob couldn't resist. He let go of the wig, and it vanished into the darkness below.
The next morning, Cecil was woken up by the sound of someone shrieking, followed by the sound of a door breaking down. He could hear his father say, with his usual eerie calmness, "Judith, it appears that we've lost another one."
Bob came in, smiling rather like the Grinch, and it scared Cecil a bit. "Bob, what happened?"
"Everything is fine, Cecil," Bob said gently. "Mrs. Temple just had to leave."
"Oh." Cecil thought about this for a moment. "Is she coming back?"
"Probably," said Bob. "She left her things behind." He laughed, a little longer and louder than he'd meant to.
"What's so funny, Bob?" asked Cecil, bringing his brother back to Earth.
Bob cleared his throat. "Excuse me."
He was surprised at how good it felt to take revenge, and only reluctantly made a mental note not to make a habit of it.