Bob never thought he would miss being able to wiggle his toes, but he did. Webbing had grown between them, a likely result of giving himself a bit of duck DNA. He'd learned an important lesson: never clown around with the natural way of things. He realized that one of the stitches on his face had come loose, and he hurriedly fixed it before his current cellmate could wake up and see.

That was his previous lesson: never mutilate yourself as part of a plan to get revenge on someone. That one should have gone without saying for most people, but Bob was, most of the time, proud to say that he wasn't most people.

Bob's numerous defeats had taught him many things, a lot of which should have been simple common sense:

Don't ever give wine to a child, not even in places where it's legal for them to drink, and especially not to a Simpson child, because alcohol and Simpsons don't mix.

When you throw away the remote to your shock bracelet, make sure it doesn't land in a birds' nest.

Never use a plane from 1903 for a kamikaze mission.

Do not rig an election that you would have likely won anyway.

Do not write death threats in your own blood, never hide under a car with Homer Simpson behind the wheel, and especially avoid giving your enemy a chance to stall for time.

Avoid being filmed at all costs, because your enemy might be observant enough to notice details that don't add up.

Before impersonating someone, make sure to remember or research important details about them, especially things that they would never do.

Never, ever, EVER doubt the intelligence of a child.

The last one was the most important. The goal of Sideshow Bob's Cavalcade of Whimsy was to be an entertaining show that would not talk down to the children in the audience, but Bob had been rather condescending towards Bart when they first met in the dressing room, barely taking notice of the boy or his sisters. If he'd only known then...and now, Bob was trapped in a never-ending cycle of revenge attempts and arrests, and for the most part, remained completely alone. His attempts to be good, or at least have some companionship, had resulted in two more, considerably more painful lessons:

Never trust Krusty to keep you hidden when he's in debt and there's a generous reward for your capture.

Never trust a brother who has hated you for a decade.

Never get your family involved with evil schemes. They may be smart enough to realize that staying by your side just isn't worth risking the consequences if the scheme fails.

Bob could feel his sanity suffer with each defeat and each betrayal. But someday he'd be free of this, whether by his own death or Bart's.