Lester (Apollo)
Still human; thanks for asking
Gods, I hate my life
Headless guys and gals
Not loving the Midwest vibe
Oh, look - a cheese ghost
My last performance
Some old lady drops the mic
And kills everyone
No building should be
A secret from Apollo
Or drop bricks on him
Tell you a story?
Or I could just, like, pass out
And twitch on the couch
Oh, Magic 8 Ball
Epic fails at prophecies
Leo's ear's on fire
I chopped those onions
With my own ex-godly hands
You'd better eat them
Lovebirds arguing
Trouble in Elysium?
I'll just scrub these plates
Of course it's a trap
With her, it's always one
Trappy McTrapface
Scrubbing toilets now
At least there's a great reward
Leftover tofu
Four beheaded dudes
Are too much for one nightmare
Why me? Sob. Sob. Sob.
I sing of taters!
Chili, sweet potato, blue!
Why? Ask my arrow
Fast-food restaurant
My life goal is realized
Any fries with that?
Yeah, we got the skills
Fake hexes and shooting feet
Teach you 'bout pancakes
Drivin' the green train
I'm all like, Choo-choo! Choo-choo!
Can't catch me! - Oh, poop!
Son of a Midas
You, sir, are a stupid-head
Here, have an ostrich
To the Waystation
Meg McCaffrey eats my bread
I cry godly tears
My dear Commodus,
Commode is named after you
Hail, Toilet Caesar
Call me Narcissus
Today I'll be your trainer
I'll also kill you
Pedaling in style
Leg irons are fashionable
Cue the screaming god
Get me a legion
And about six tons of rocks
Need to kill a snake
I wax poetic
On the beauty of sewers
Real short poem. Done
So amaze! Such name!
Sssssarah with five s's is
Still two syllablesssss
Science can be fun
Squirt those toxic chemicals
Anywhere, really
Big birds are evil
They charge me with razor legs
I die and it hurts
I tip my hat to
The excellent elephant
Let's be besties, 'kay?
Destroy me a roof
Bring me wenches with winches
We're so out of here
Belching stinky smoke
What gene pool did you come from?
Wait. What? (Insert scream)
Carrot-peeling god
Tofu stir-fry is good, but
Needs more ìgboyà
Lester, slap yourself
Oh, for just one night without
Looking like a fool
Start with a C chord
Not all the keys, Meg. C does
Not stand for Chaos
Pretty fuzzy cow
So cute, so warm and vicious!
Squee! Can I kill him?
Feeling groovy, I'm
Drowning, freezing, snake surfing
Life is good, Batman!
Meg takes a solo
Scares away her audience
Good job, McCaffrey
Man, I hate my son
A real arrogant jerkwad
Nothing like his dad
Mind your p's and q's
When you are arming bombs or-
SPLAT - trample jelly
Your favorite fruit?
I hope you didn't say grapes
Or apples, or figs
Waystation damaged
Commodus will pay for this
And I don't take cash
During this standoff
No flash photography, please
Oops. My bad. Ha-ha
Shakespeare, don't bring that
Iambic pentameter
Up in my face, yo
Prophecies don't mix with
Tofurky and biscuits
Just give me dessert
Pancakes for the road
Need a guide for your journey?
Check the tomatoes
The words that memory wrought are set to fire,
Ere new moon rises o'er the Devil's Mount.
The challenging lord shall face a challenge dire,
Till bodies fill the Tiber beyond count.
Yet Southward must the sun now trace its course,
Through mazes dark to lands of scorching death
To find the master of the swift white horse
And wrest from him the crossword speaker's breath.
To westward palace must the Lester go;
Demeter's daughter finds her ancient roots.
The coven guide alone the way does know,
To walk the path in thine own enemy's boots.
When three are known and Tiber reached alive,
'Tis only then Apollo starts to jive.