Warning: This chapter contains references to coerced sexual relations. We will not be showing the actual act. Merely the prelude and aftermath. Reader discretion is advised. If you want more information, skip to the bottom notes, which will include a summary of what happened.
Last Time in Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged:
Peeta glances down at his feet. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I - I should go."
I feel bad, like I've destroyed his dreams somehow. "I mean, I suppose it wouldn't hurt, doing homework. It's not like I can go hunting, right?"
He gives me a half-hearted smile. "Right."
"Why don't you sit down? I'll make us some tea."
The smile widens, becomes real. "I'd like that."
oOo
Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged
by RoseFyre & FanficAllergy
oOo
Chapter Four: An Offer She Can't Refuse
oOo
"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."
― Vito Corleone (The Godfather)
oOo
"I'll see you at school!" Prim calls to me as she closes the front door. Today's her day to drop Aven off at Hazelle's while I finish taking care of our mother. We take turns with the chores so as not to arouse Hazelle's or the school's suspicions in case one of us is late.
It's how we've managed to stay undiscovered for so long.
Today, I'm trying to feed my mother some of the tesserae mush. She's chewing it mindlessly, her eyes fixed on some point above the door to the bedroom. I wonder what she finds so fascinating.
I miss my mother. She'd been very supportive of both my hunting and who I dated. She even made sure I knew how to prevent pregnancy if I felt tempted to visit the slag heap. I hadn't. I don't want to risk getting pregnant. At least not until I can make sure the child will be provided for and will never have to take out tesserae. Like me until my father got sick. Like I'm trying to do for Prim.
Seeing the woman who used to be so full of life reduced to this shell of a human makes me want to cry. She blamed herself for failing to cure my father, even though there wasn't anything she could do at the end. Black Lung is the most common cause of death in the Seam. But my mother couldn't accept it. It's like I lost two parents when my father died. My mother's body just hasn't caught on yet.
I've just finished forcing another spoonful into her slack mouth when there's a pounding on the front door.
It sounds urgent. Official.
My heart races.
Setting the food down, I make my way to the front door, careful to close the door to the bedroom behind me. I'm glad I did, because I open our front door to reveal a white-clad Peacekeeper with tanned skin and eyes like a cat's. In his hands is a wire snare wrapped around the neck of a frozen rabbit.
My stomach churns.
My eyes drop to his chest, both to hide my fear and to find out his name. I don't know him. He's not a regular at the Hob, and I haven't seen him around town. Most of them know me and don't care about my hunting. They're even some of my best customers. That either means he's new, or he's stationed in the Justice Building. Either way, it's bad news for me.
"How can I help you, Peacekeeper Donaldson?" I ask, careful not to let my voice betray me.
"I was wondering if the owner of this contraption was home."
"Excuse me?" It's better to claim ignorance than admit to a crime. So I'm hoping he's just fishing and isn't looking for anyone specific.
He pushes his way inside, slamming the door behind him and tossing the carcass into the sink. "You heard me." His tone is dark, dangerous.
"I did. I'm just not sure I know who you're looking for."
"That's a likely story." His eyes narrow, taking in the few family photographs we have. He motions to one, and smiles. It isn't a kind smile. "I'm damn sure I'm in the right place. Ain't too many girls with blond hair and pigtails runnin' around the Meadow."
Prim.
The jackhammering in my heart increases. He must've seen Prim. We've been setting snares in the Meadow, but we've been careful to make sure they're well-hidden. Besides, I haven't bothered going since the snow's started. I don't want any tracks to give me away.
I'm guessing Prim wasn't as careful.
"There's lots of girls here with blond hair," I try to bluff. If Prim's discovered, she could face the whipping post or worse.
The Peacekeeper shakes his head. He's not buying it. "Yes, but only one of them is your sister. No use trying to hide it, Katniss," he says my name with a hiss. "I followed her back here last night."
My heart is throbbing. I'm surprised he can't hear it. How does he know my name? I can't ask that. "Why didn't you do anything then?"
"Because I'm not interested in seeing that pretty skin of hers whipped away underneath the lash. In fact, I'd rather see your pretty skin." His eyes rake over my body, taking in my meager curves. I feel like a piece of meat. "I'll pay. Say… my silence about this transgression for an hour or two of your time."
"I'm not for sale," I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Oh please, we both know that's not true. I saw you going to Cray. There's only one reason a girl like you goes to him," he sneers. "Sex." He leers at me, his unnerving yellow eyes darkening with lust. "So, girl, what's it gonna be? You... or your sister?"
I stare at him in horror. He knows I don't have a choice. I can't let Prim be whipped. I can't. She's so young. So small. Twenty five lashes would kill her.
With shaky hands, I reach up and start unbuttoning my shirt.
The man smirks. "I knew you'd make the right choice."
oOo
I stare at the stove, waiting for the pots of water on it to boil. I need a bath. Another one. My third today. I took my first as soon as Donaldson left, enduring icy cold water just to get the stink of his sweat and the smell of his breath off of me. There's no way I'm going school today. I don't want to see anyone. I can't. If anyone asks, I'll just say I was sick.
It wouldn't be far from the truth.
Why won't the water heat? I'm starting to feel the Peacekeeper's hands on me again. Maybe the stove needs more coal. We don't have a lot. But I can spare a few more lumps, I think. I fish out the two smallest chunks. I'm straightening up when there's another knock at the door.
I freeze, the coal dropping to the floor with twin thumps. Is it him? Is he back? I can't move. I'm paralyzed with fear. I can't do that again. Maybe if I don't move, whoever it is will go away.
The person knocks again. This time louder, more insistent.
It has to be him. Or another Peacekeeper. Oh God, Prim! What if they caught her? What if Donaldson caught her? What if he goes after her next?
I can't allow that to happen. I throw open the door, ready to confront whoever's on the other side.
"Katniss!" Peeta exclaims. "You're here!"
I stare at him in shock, my mouth opening and closing like a fish.
He tilts his head, taking in my expression. "What's wrong?"
"No-Nothing," I manage after a false start. "Just not feeling very good. I don't think I'm up for studying today." I try to smile at Peeta to let him know I'm fine. I fail.
"Why weren't you at school?"
I shake my head. "I told you. I'm not feeling good."
He reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder and I flinch away. "Katniss… what's wrong?"
I look around. There aren't many people outside, but there's enough. Most of them are kids coming home from school. I step aside, wordlessly acknowledging that he can come in.
As he steps through the door, I see his eyes darting this way and that, taking in the spilled coal, the water boiling on the stove, the torn shirt on the floor, the overturned chair, the five coins scattered on the table and floor, and the thawed rabbit carcass in the sink. "Katniss, what happened?"
I open my mouth, but I can't speak. I should have picked up all of the evidence. Hidden it away. Burned it. But no, I had to get clean first. Stupid.
"Katniss?" He holds out his hand to me. "Please. Tell me what happened?"
It's the 'please' that does it. That, and the kindness, the concern, I see in his eyes. This time, when I try to speak, I can. The details of Donaldson's assault spill out in a rush.
As I speak, Peeta's ungloved hands clench and unclench slowly, like he's trying to keep himself under control. The tendons in his jaw vibrate in anger. "I'll kill him," he growls when I finish. "I don't care if he's a Peacekeeper. I'm gonna fucking kill him." He stands up, pulling on his gloves as he stalks towards the door.
"No, Peeta, you can't!" I block his path, my hands held up protectively. "You can't say things like that! You'll get in trouble!" Killing a Peacekeeper is a guaranteed death sentence. Peeta can't die for me. I won't let him.
"I don't care!" he thunders, the tendon in his jaw tightening. "No one lays hands on you without your permission. No one! I'm gonna kill him."
"Please, Peeta, don't. This is my fault." I cross my arms over my chest. "I should've known better than to set snares in the Meadow. I should've made sure Prim and I paid more attention."
His eyes snap to me. "What's Prim got to do with this?"
I realize I left out an important detail in my story. "It was Prim's snare. He gave me a choice. Me or my sister. I couldn't bear it if Prim were tortured like that." My eyes dart to Peeta. "Prim can't know. She'd take it too hard. She can't know."
"You've got to tell her something."
"I know," I admit, "but she can't know about the… that. I think it'd break her."
"But what about you?" His voice is tender.
My arms clench tighter. "I'll - I'll be fine."
"No you won't. Katniss…" He hesitates, then continues. "Did he use protection?"
I feel the blood drain from my face. "No. He didn't."
I jump up, running to the cabinet where my mother keeps her stores. I know what I'm looking for. I know what I need. My mother's prescribed it enough times to women who've gone to Peacekeepers, and Prim gave it to me after I went to Cray. Wild carrot seed. I pull out the glass bottle and shakily measure out a teaspoon.
Peeta watches me with concern in his eyes, but I don't have time to explain. I can't have that man's baby. I want to scrub every trace of him from my body. From my mind. I need every part of him gone. I couldn't bear to raise his yellow-eyed bastard.
After I've choked the medicine down and washed away the taste with a cup of mint tea, I turn to Peeta. "Please don't do anything rash."
"Why not? He doesn't deserve to live, Katniss. Not after what he's done to you." His eyes meet mine. "And you can bet he's not going to stop. Men like that never do."
I'm grateful he doesn't bring up my panicked dosing of herbs. I don't want to talk about that with him. With anyone. Better to stick to safer subjects… relatively. "I know," I say, resigned. Peeta's right. Donaldson will do the same thing to other women. For all I know, he already has. "But he's a Peacekeeper. You know what the Capitol would do if he was murdered."
"If they've got any sense, they'd throw a celebration party."
"Peeta," I sigh. "This is serious. If they found out it was you, they'd kill you. I can't have your death on my hands. Not when I owe you so much."
He brushes my words away. "I told you, Katniss, you don't owe me anything."
I reach a shaky hand out to him. "Then don't go after him because you're my friend. I need a friend right now."
Peeta takes it, skimming his thumb over my fingers. "I won't do anything, Katniss. Because you asked. As a friend."
"Thank you." I don't know if I'm thanking him for the friendship, or for being there or, well, everything. I just know that I owe a debt of gratitude to Peeta Mellark.
oOo
When Prim gets home, proudly carrying a chicken, Peeta and I sit down with her to have a talk.
We tell her that a Peacekeeper came by with one of her snares from the Meadow. We don't tell her who the Peacekeeper was or what actually happened, just that they'd given us a warning about poaching inside the fence.
I can see the horror dawning on my sister's face.
"Oh my god!" she says, covering her mouth with one hand. "We're lucky we got off with a warning!"
I struggle to keep control of my face so as not to give anything away. "Right, Prim. We are lucky. I think until the weather clears and we can get into the woods, we stick to what we can catch in our garden." That's a legal gray area. Technically it can be considered poaching since all game belongs to the Capitol. But since it's also considered pest control, most Peacekeepers ignore it.
"And no more sneaking out alone," Peeta adds. "You each need someone to watch your back."
"You're not my father!" Prim snaps, her eyes narrowing to slits.
"No, but Peeta's right. We both need someone to watch our backs. It's not safe out there. Not just from Peacekeepers," I say, stumbling over the words, "but from other predators. We already lost Dad, I don't think I could bear to lose you too."
She scowls petulantly. "You're not my mother."
"Until Mom gets better, you need to do what I say." Oh no, I didn't mean to let that slip. My eyes dart to Peeta, but he doesn't seem to notice what I just said. Thank goodness.
"What if she doesn't get better?" Prim crosses her arms. "What if she dies? Like Dad."
"Then your sister will take care of you," Peeta says.
"And why are you here? You're a merchant! This doesn't concern you! None of this is any of your business!"
Peeta and I share a glance. I've been letting Peeta take more of an active role in this confrontation than I should. I'm glad he's here. I don't think I could face Prim on my own, but my sister's right, he isn't family and this is a family concern. I need to come up with some sort of excuse. "Peeta's a friend."
It's a weak explanation. One Prim doesn't accept. "That doesn't answer my question. Why is he here?" She glares at me, her eyes defiant.
The words slip out, so soft I'm not sure anyone hears them. "Because I need him to be." I flee from the room, leaving the two blonds to stare after me in shock.
oOo
A few days after my assault, Prim turns twelve. The day starts off with an argument. With our hunting activities curtailed because of the weather and the Peacekeepers, Prim is determined to take out tesserae. I'm just as determined that she won't.
"Prim, we don't need it," I tell her. "Between my tesserae and Peeta's, we'll be okay!"
"Are you sure?" Her voice is skeptical. "I don't want you to go to Cray again."
I shiver at the thought of a Peacekeeper's hands touching me. "I don't think that's gonna happen."
"Why not? Something's changed." She narrows her eyes at me. "Is this because of Peeta?"
I seize on the opening she's given me. Anything to keep from talking about Donaldson. "Yes. Kind of. Maybe."
"Do you like Peeta?"
"Of course I like him. He's my friend!"
"It seems awfully sudden," she says, her eyes never leaving my face.
"Peeta's just different. He's special." I don't have to look in the mirror to feel the redness staining my cheeks.
"I was right! You like him!" She bounces a bit, letting a little bit of the innocent girl she still is shine through. But just as suddenly, the innocence is gone. "Are you having sex with him?"
"No! I don't like him that way."
Prim rolls her eyes. "Sure. Right. I bet you wanna kiss him."
"I haven't even thought about it." Of course, now that Prim's brought it up, I wonder what Peeta's lips would feel like. I wonder if they'll be warm and hungry like Gale's were. Or wet and sloppy like my first kiss with Bran Hatfield was. I deliberately keep my mind from both Cray and Donaldson's kisses. If I could, I'd happily forget those memories.
"I bet you're thinking about it now," she teases.
My blush deepens. "It's none of your business!" I snap, struggling to regain control of my expression. "And if you keep acting like a little snot, I'll… I'll…" I cast around for a suitable punishment. "I'll keep the surprise I have for you!"
My sister is enough of a child that the threat of withholding presents makes her instantly contrite. "No, Katniss! I'll be good, I promise! I even promise not to take out tesserae! What'd you get me?"
I smile at her, pleased my gambit worked. "You'll find out at your party."
oOo
Prim's party is, by necessity, small.
My sister, who once was so social, is slowly pulling away from a lot of her friends. Perhaps unsurprisingly, one of her closest friends is Hazelle's son, Rory. The boy doesn't like me much, probably because of his brother. But he doesn't let his animosity toward me get in the way of Prim's party. There are also a few girls from the Seam in attendance. But it's nothing like the large party Prim had for her birthday last year.
I make a stew from the chicken Prim got a few days ago for the feast, and there's a few tesserae griddle cakes with jam for dessert. It isn't much, but it's the best we can do.
Prim asked Peeta to attend, much to my surprise considering how annoyed she seemed at him just a few days ago. He's been a fixture at our house ever since my attack, arriving early each morning to walk Prim and me to school, then making sure we get home safe before returning to the bakery for his shift there. He's also taken to bringing us freshly toasted sweet bread with a smear of butter each morning. I can tell it's days old, yet I still feel uncomfortable accepting it from him. But seeing Prim and Aven's eyes light up at the sweet treat, I don't have the heart to say no.
No one says anything about our mother not being there, although I do see Peeta's eyes regarding me curiously when I set aside a bowl to feed to her later.
"She had a patient," I say, the lie falling from my lips with ease. It's the same lie I've been telling for months.
The kids buy it, but Peeta frowns, and I remember he was there for my argument with Prim and our slip.
After the feast, it's time for presents. My sister bounces in her seat in anticipation. Watching her makes the whole party worth it.
Rory's gift is practical: a spool of wire for Prim's nets. I wonder if he stole it from his big brother's supplies, or if the eleven year old traded for it himself. Prim gets a few ribbons and a couple of handkerchiefs from her other friends. No one has a lot of money for gifts in the Seam, so most things are handmade or hand-me-downs. Peeta's gift goes over especially well: a package of iced sugar cookies with delicately painted flowers on them.
"They're too pretty to eat!" my sister exclaims.
"But then they'll go bad. Don't worry. I made 'em special for you, Prim." He gives her a wide smile and ruffles her hair affectionately. "After all, it's not every day that a girl turns twelve."
My sister blushes at his words. I wonder if all of her talk from earlier is because she has a crush on the handsome baker boy too.
The boy in question reaches into his bag. "Well, I suppose if you can't eat the cookies, then this will just have to do." He pulls out a small frosted cake with paper wrapped around the bottom.
Prim stares at it in shock. "What is it?"
"It's called a cupcake."
She reaches out with one finger and draws it through the frosting, bringing it to her mouth. "Is this chocolate?"
"Yup."
"It tastes like what heaven must taste like." Her voice is breathy. Awestruck.
Peeta smiles at her. "I don't know about that, but I'm pretty sure it comes close. It's all yours, Prim."
"Thank you!"
"Brown noser," I mutter at him.
"Well, they say the way to a pre-teen's heart is through her stomach."
I want to tease him back, but part of me is a little jealous of all the attention he's giving Prim. It's confusing. To distract myself from my feelings, I go into the bedroom and pull out the box I've hidden underneath our mother's bed.
Mom's still the same as ever. Even the noise of the party hasn't stirred her from her daze.
I wish it had.
I rejoin the party, carefully closing the door behind me, and place the box in my sister's hands. "Don't shake it," I warn her.
She gives me a funny look and shakes the box anyway, causing the occupant inside to let out a small cry. Prim's eyes widen and she tears the lid off to reveal a little bedraggled orange kitten with a pink ribbon wrapped around its neck.
"Happy birthday," I say, smiling at my sister.
"A cat?" She says it like she can't quite believe what she's seeing.
"Well, you've always liked animals. And I found this little one pawing through the garbage heap at the Hob."
She tilts her head up to stare at me. "You got me a cat?"
"Um, yeah." I'm nervous. Maybe I should have gotten her something else. "Do you like him?"
Prim lets out a squeal of joy and snuggles the kitten to her cheek. "I love him! Thank you, Katniss! Thank you!"
"So have you thought of a name?" Peeta asks.
Prim studies the kitten for a moment, then nods. "Yup. I'm gonna call him Buttercup."
oOo
The next day, when I step outside, I'm greeted by a horrible smell. I walk around to the garden where Prim and I have set up several snares to find a skunk with wire wrapped around its neck. The thing must have been going after our compost heap. Not that we have much in there to begin with. But there's still a little bit.
I remember Sae's words from earlier, that she'd take pretty much anything I manage to catch. I wonder if she'll take this stinky animal off my hands. It's worth a shot.
Finding the shirt Donaldson ruined, I wrap the skunk up to take to the Hob.
I pull Sae outside, not wanting to befoul the Hob with the dead creature's smell. And I'm sure Sae's customers don't want to know that tomorrow they're going to be eating skunk stew.
We make our trade quickly. I only get two coin for the animal, but it's two more coin than I had before. I'm glad to be rid of the stinky thing, telling Sae she can even keep the shirt. While Prim's and my clothes are starting to look a bit frayed around the edges, I don't even want to look at the thing. Out of desperation, I've started wearing my mother's clothing. It's not really my preferred choice, but they say beggars can't be choosers.
Sae leaves with the skunk, leaving me wondering if I should spend my newly earned coin or save it.
I'm still debating it when someone's hand snakes around my waist, pulling me to him.
"You weren't thinkin' of heading into that illegal establishment, were you?" the voice that haunts my nightmares whispers into my ear.
I freeze. My heart starts to race. "Of course I wasn't, Peacekeeper Donaldson." I don't know how I manage to get the words out without stuttering.
"Good. Because I think there's someplace else I'd rather have you."
"Please, not now. I've got school."
He spins me around, pushing my back against the coal dust covered building. "A cunt like you doesn't need school. The only education you need to receive is on your knees."
He pushes me to the ground, my knees sinking into the cold snow.
"Please, Peacekeeper. Not here. Not now." I'm shivering, and it's not from the cold. I can't believe this is going to happen again. I'd rather be in the Games than here. At least there I could do something to protect myself.
He jerks his knee up into my chin. My tongue gets caught between my teeth. My eyes water in pain and the unmistakable coppery tang of blood fills my mouth.
I don't fight. I don't even beg anymore. I send a thought out to whoever's listening that no one will see my shame. Closing my eyes, I wait for the inevitable. I hear the unmistakable sound of a zipper being drawn and feel something fleshy push against my lips.
"What the hell's going on out here?" The voice is masculine and familiar. I can't quite place it.
The flesh retreats, but not far. I can still smell it. "Go back inside, Freeman," Donaldson snarls.
"Katniss?" This time, the voice is tender.
I open my eyes and see the redheaded Peacekeeper, Darius. A blush surges up my cheeks and several tears manage to slip past my eyelashes. I can't tell what I'm feeling. Some kind of mix of terror, relief, and embarrassment all rolled into one.
Donaldson's hand twitches, curling into a fist.
I flinch away.
Darius witnesses the whole thing. "Damn it, Donaldson!" he yells, striding over and pushing the other man down. "You know this is against the rules."
"This whore and me have an agreement." Donaldson's mouth curls into a sneer. "She wanted it."
"A fifteen year old girl on her knees in the snow in public on a day she's got school? I don't think so."
"Go away." The yellow-eyed man clambers to his feet. "This isn't any of your business."
Darius shoves him back down. "It is my business when you're terrorizing the locals. No wonder you were sent here from Six."
Donaldson spits in his face. "You don't know what you're talking about."
Several other Peacekeepers spill out of the Hob at the raised voices. I shrink back against the wall, trying to disappear. I don't want anyone to witness my shame. It's bad enough that both Peeta and now Darius know. I can't bear for anyone else to find out.
Hoisting my attacker up roughly, Darius pushes him toward the newcomers. "Take this piece of trash to the brig. I'm going to Cray."
"You can't do this," Donaldson protests.
Darius stalks over, grabbing Donaldson's uniform by the throat and jerking the yellow-eyed man so that their noses are almost touching. "That's where you're wrong." His voice is quiet. Deadly. "You're going to pay for this. I'll see to that. Your days as a Peacekeeper are over."
Donaldson tries to lash out at the red haired man, but he's forcibly restrained by his guards. They haul him away toward the barracks, my attacker shouting threats and obscenities until one of them has enough and stuns the man with some kind of electrical weapon.
I watch the whole exchange in disbelief. Peacekeepers saved me from of their own. I can't comprehend it. The enormity of what almost happened again crashes down upon me. I start to shake. All I want to do is run home and lose myself in a hot bath, but I can't even force myself to get to my feet.
Darius approaches me slowly, like you would a wild animal caught in a snare. "Hey," he says, holding his hands up in an unthreatening manner. "You're safe now. He's not gonna hurt you."
"He'll come back," I whisper. Peeta was right. Men like that won't stop.
Darius's sea green eyes harden. "No. He won't, Katniss. I promise. He won't ever hurt you again."
I stare at him in shock, unable to say anything more.
He pulls out a handkerchief and starts dabbing gently at the corner of my mouth. "No one is ever going to hurt you again." His mouth hardens into a thin line. "I won't let them."
oOo
AN:
Written: 11/14/15
Revised: 6/15/16
Revised 2: 7/7/16
Betaread by: Amy & amelinazenitram
Okay. Summary for those people who do not want to read a chapter with these warnings. Basically, what happens is this. A really nasty Peacekeeper (an OC) blackmails Katniss into having sex with him in exchange for not turning in Prim to be whipped (possibly to death) for poaching. Peeta comforts her and they talk to Prim about being more careful. Prim has a birthday and Katniss gives her Buttercup as her present. A few days later, the same nasty Peacekeeper makes a reappearance. He almost forces Katniss to have another go when he's stopped by Darius and a few other Peacekeepers, who haul him off for terrorizing the populace. The chapter ends with Darius being nice, almost chivalric, with Katniss, promising no one will ever hurt her again.
Or, as we say, bad stuff happens and Darius rides to the rescue.
As much as we would love Peeta to be Katniss's knight in shining armor here (or for Katniss to save herself!), there was no way in hell Peeta had the level of power needed to pull it off. And as you might have noticed, Gale is not the third leg of the triangle. You have just been introduced to who is.
Another thing you may have noticed is that this Katniss is different from canon, while Prim is taking on more of a canon Katniss personality. These changes are deliberate, based off of the fact that Katniss got more time with her father and is older and thus able to handle the death and all of the stresses a little bit better, while Prim is left with the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that Katniss had in canon. It's amazing what one little change can do.
Things We Randomized:
- If they caught anything and what they caught.
Thanks for reading, especially considering the difficult nature of this chapter! Let us know what you think!