Last Time in Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged:
After several long seconds, Haymitch begins to speak. "My ma used to save up for months to buy me an orange for New Year's. It was my treat. I had to eat it quickly. If I didn't, my father - the bastard - would take it. I learned that the hard way a couple of years." His voice is distant, as if he's trapped in the past. "Say. I don't suppose you know how to candy orange peels. My ma used to do that. She'd candy them and slip little slivers to me when times were bad. It was our little secret."
"Your ma sounds like a good woman."
Haymitch downs a long pull of white liquor. "She was." He stands up and stumbles up the stairs.
I let out a sigh of relief, then another sigh of resignation as I survey the mess around me. Time to get back to work.
oOo
Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged
by RoseFyre & FanficAllergy
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Chapter Eighteen: Together We Can Do So Much
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"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much."
― Helen Keller
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"Why do we have a goat?" Prim asks as she walks in the door carrying a couple of rabbits and a pheasant.
I don't even look up from the stove where I'm cooking up some of the 'instant' meals that Haymitch had. Our cupboards are now full of expired cans and boxes of food from Haymitch's kitchen. "Because goats give milk."
"Yes. I know. But why do we have a goat?" she repeats, stressing the 'we.'
"Because it makes more sense." I taste the supposedly cheese and noodle dish in front of me and wrinkle my nose. It needs something to cut through the processed sour flavor. "Why trade so much of our tesserae to the goat man for a couple of pints of milk, when we can get the same amount of milk for our table scraps?" I pause in my search through our supply of dried herbs to say, "Plus, once all the snow melts, we can have the goat scrounge in the Meadow."
"I suppose," Prim doesn't sound convinced. "But where did you get the money to buy a goat?"
Time to level with my sister. I turn around to see her reaction. "I got a job."
Her eyes narrow. "Doing what?"
"Being the housekeeper for Haymitch."
She takes that in, then bites her lip. "Do you have to…" she trails off.
"Oh no!" I deny quickly. "That's explicitly spelled out in the contract. No sex. I cook, I clean, I do his shopping, including buying his liquor. But that's it."
A huge smile spreads across my sister's face. "Katniss, that's wonderful! How much is he paying you?"
"Twenty-five coin a week." I'm not going to tell her he probably would have said yes to more. Bad enough I feel the lack; she doesn't need to.
She does the math in her head and comes to the same conclusion I did. "That's more than Dad made!"
"Yep. With both of us hunting and now my income, we should be okay. No more having to go to Cray, or any other Peacekeeper. No more starving." I sling an arm around my little sister. "And you don't have to take out tesserae."
Prim wraps her arms around me and buries her head against my shoulder. I pretend not to notice the shaking or the dampness that spreads across my shirt. The relief has overwhelmed her. It's almost overwhelmed me. But I can't help but feel that we're not out of the Games yet. I don't dare let down my guard. Every time I do, a Gamemaker throws another twist into the Arena. Better to keep my head down and hope their attention is focused elsewhere.
I stroke her back until she calms down and pulls away, but not before catching my hands in hers.
She frowns, then lifts them up to look at them. I know what she sees: rough, reddened hands, some of the fingers wrapped with makeshift bandages from broken glass. It's a sadly familiar sight. "Katniss…"
"I'm okay, little duck." I pull away to go back to the stove. "It's just, Haymitch's house is a mess. You know how bad it was after the attack?"
"Yeah..."
"Multiply that by a hundred."
"No!" she exclaims in disbelief.
"Yeah," I confirm, sniffing several jars of herbs. "It's really that bad. I barely managed to clean out the sink and a couple of the counters before I had to go pick up Aven." I walk over to one of the cupboards and open it. "On the plus side, we have all the unlabeled canned food we can eat."
"From Haymitch?"
"Yeah. No telling if it's still good. For all I know, these have been there for twenty-five years." I grab a pouch labelled 'bacon bits' and tear it open. Maybe that would work.
Prim shudders, eyeing the food. "I'm not eating anything that's older than me."
"Smart." I try to ruffle her hair, but my fingers catch on the strands. I haven't had time to brush her hair out in weeks, and she must not be doing it herself. My heart twinges; our mother used to take such good care of Prim's hair, and mine too. It's just another sign of how much things have changed.
She pulls away. "You skipped school, didn't you?"
I nod.
"You can't keep doing that. If the Peacekeepers catch you, you'll get in trouble. They could find out about Mom."
"They'll have to catch me."
"The teachers will tell." She fiddles with her fingers. "Is Haymitch okay with you still being in school?"
"I haven't talked to him about it," I admit. Then I point out, "There's so much to get done. I can't do it all and go to school too. Besides, school's just a waste of time."
"Well, yeah. Of course. But we still gotta go. What are you going to do?"
I shrug my shoulders and add the bacon bits to the bright orange-y yellow noodle dish. "What I have to."
"It's too bad you can't ask for help. Or pay someone else to help you clean."
Pausing mid stir, I stare at my sister.
She shifts uncomfortably underneath my gaze. "What?"
"Prim, you're a genius!"
"Well, yeah." Her curiosity bubbles up until she blurts out, "What am I a genius about this time?"
"I'm Haymitch's housekeeper. I can hire people. In fact, he wants me to hire a person to do the laundry." I pull the pot off of the heat and wrap my arms around my little sister. "I can hire you!"
"Oh no no no no no. I am not cleaning up that drunk's place. No."
"Then you get to pick up Aven after school."
"But that's supposed to be my time to go out into the woods!" she whines.
I hold my hands out to her, making sure her eyes fix on the bandages. "We all have to make sacrifices, Prim. Please. At least until the house is clean enough that I can have Aven be with me."
After a moment, she says, "Fine. But you owe me."
I walk to my bag and pull out the other orange I bought earlier and toss it to her. "Consider this my payment."
oOo
When I go back to school the next day, the school administrator pulls me aside. "Is everything okay at home?" Mr. Filbert asks, his voice concerned.
"Fine. Why are you asking?"
"You've missed a lot of school lately. More than you should. You haven't been sick, so I'm worried about you."
My mind races. This is just the kind of attention I don't need. I've been diligent about making sure Prim goes to school but to the detriment of my own schooling. I need to give him an excuse and my stock answer of "my mother's been sick" won't work here. Maybe Aven? No. I have to try bluffing. "I have been sick, sir. Nothing too bad or too contagious, at least that's what my mom says. But she didn't want to risk the school if it turned out to be worse."
"What kind of sick?"
I say the first thing that pops into my head. "The kind that leaves you stuck in the outhouse for hours."
The man blanches and backs away. "Ah. Well. Quite considerate of your mother. But please make sure to note that future absences may result in Peacekeeper intervention." The warning is as clear as a bell.
I need to get out of school for good. I need that permit.
oOo
I spend most of the morning making lists and plans of attack for later. By the time lunch rolls around, I'm pretty sure I know what I need to do and what jobs I need to hire people for.
To my disappointment, Peeta isn't sitting with us at lunch. He's back at Nata's table rolling pieces of bread, which tells me that he's not totally comfortable. Part of me wonders why he's still with her. They may have only been dating for a few weeks, but if he's this uncomfortable now, how will it be down the road?
He should just break up with her.
But I don't voice this aloud. It's not my place to say who Peeta can and can't date. Besides, he's not who I need to talk to. Delly and Thom are.
"Katniss!" Delly says brightly as I join them. "I missed you yesterday! I wanted to find out how everything went with Haymitch."
"Good," I say, letting my excitement color my tone. "Really good. He hired me."
She beams. "That's great!"
"Yeah, that's-" I pause, glancing around, then lower my voice, "-that's why I wasn't here yesterday. I had to sign all the papers with Haymitch and try to get started." I lean back and pull out a couple slices of bread from loaves Haymitch had me buy yesterday. "There's a lot to do."
"Well, if you need help…" she starts.
I don't let her finish. "So… that's kind of why I'm here."
"Oh?" Thom asks, speaking up for the first time.
"I do need help. A lot of it. And I can pay, or rather, Haymitch can. But since I'm his housekeeper, it's the same thing."
Thom's eyebrows slide up toward his hairline and he lets out a low whistle. "You're coming up in the world, Katniss."
I wave it away. "I'm still me. And I need help."
"What kind of help?" Thom's voice is a little wary.
I don't blame him; I'd be wary too. "Well, for you, I need help with the yard. Haymitch has got a ton of garbage and trash, and he's got so much space I figured getting a couple of goats, pigs, maybe chickens would go a long way. But they need a place to stay. A manger for the goats and pigs, maybe a chicken coop." I'm thinking aloud, but the more I can come up with, the more likely Thom is willing to accept that this is an actual job and not charity. "Then, once the snow melts, I'm going to want to put in a garden. I could buy everything at the greengrocer, but some things just taste better fresh. Like herbs and tomatoes. You think you'd be able to do that?"
"Maybe. How much would you be willing to pay?"
I don't take offense at his question. We're Seam. "I'll pay ten coin a week, assuming you work twenty hours a week for at least two hours a day."
"Done." Thom doesn't even bother trying to bargain. He knows a good deal when he hears it.
"What do you need me to do?" Delly asks.
"I need help cleaning the place. Same bargain: I'll pay ten coin a week, assuming you're willing to work the same hours as Thom."
"I'll take it." Delly's eyes fill with tears. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"No really," she sniffs; a few tears slip out of her eyes to tumble down her cheeks. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I was going to go take out tesserae this week, but with this I won't have to." She throws her arms around me and starts sobbing into my shoulder.
I freeze. My eyes seek out Thom's and I beg him without words to take his girlfriend off of me.
With a gentleness I didn't know he possessed, Thom gathers Delly into his arms and strokes her hair. "Shh. It's all right now. I've got you. Everything'll be okay." The words are low, not meant for my ears. But I can't help but overhear them anyway.
"Are you all right, Delly?" Peeta's voice comes from behind me.
"I'm fine," she says, her voice muffled by Thom's shoulder. "Better than fine."
"No really, she is," Thom adds. "These are good tears."
Peeta crouches down, confused. "There are good tears?"
"There are if you're a woman."
"Hey!" I say, snapping out of my shock.
"What? It's true," Thom defends himself.
Delly smacks him on the chest. "No it's not. Katniss doesn't cry."
"I have," I say. "But not when I'm happy."
"Well, I'm glad that they're happy tears," Peeta says, his voice still confused. "Why are they happy tears?"
She sniffs and wipes her face off. "Because Katniss offered me a job! And I don't have to take out tesserae!"
Peeta turns and looks at me askance. What's changed? He knows my financial situation. There's no way I could hire Delly myself.
"I got a job," I say as an explanation.
"Oh?" His voice is carefully modulated.
"With Haymitch."
"Oh." And now there's relief. "That's good. Haymitch. Haymitch is good. Congratulations."
"Thanks."
"But I've got something for you." He digs around in his pocket. He pulls out a small pouch and hands it to me. "From Chet. He couldn't give me this any sooner. Sorry."
"No, no, it's good."
"It's only ten coin. He'll get you the rest later."
I close my hands around the pouch. "I trust you, Peeta." I can't help but wonder at the blush that steals up his cheeks. "Thanks."
"So tell me more about this job of yours," he says, sitting down next to me. Across the room, Nata glances at us, then laughs at something one of her friends says, her smile just a bit wooden.
Peeta doesn't even notice.
oOo
I skip school again the next day. I send a note with Prim, forging my mother's signature the best I can, saying that the stomach problems that ailed me the day before came back with a vengeance and I'll be out for the rest of the week. It's not a perfect solution. Technically I'm supposed to have a Peacekeeper sign off on it. But there's no way I'm going to ask Darius or Cray for a note to skip school, let alone anyone else.
I spend the first part of the morning out in the woods setting traps. Prim will check them once she gets out of school, but I want to set as many as I possibly can, since the forest is starting to wake up from its winter slumber.
When I sense it's near lunch and it won't seem out of place if I'm in town, I head to the Justice Building. I need that permit, and with the ten coin Peeta gave me yesterday plus what Prim and I traded for this morning hunting in the woods after we set our snares, I finally have just enough to afford it.
The clerk is the same one that witnessed Haymitch's contract with me. So I know he'll understand why I need this. The man hands over the paperwork and begins his spiel.
I don't really pay attention to it; I'm so engrossed in trying to read the complex language on the paperwork. But a few minutes later he says something that causes me to ask, "Can you repeat that?"
"This permit is only good from June 1st through May 31st each year. It must be renewed on June 1st. No exceptions."
"You mean it's not good for a year from the date of purchase?"
"No exceptions."
"But today's March 13th. That's less than three months!"
"No exceptions."
"Is there a discount?"
"The cost of the permit is one hundred coin, regardless of the date of purchase."
I stare at the clerk, my heart sinking. A hundred coin is a lot of money, especially in the Seam. I can't justify spending that much when I'm going to have to pay it again in less than three months. I have too much else I have to buy. A hundred coin is almost a month's worth of pay.
It's not worth it.
I hand the paperwork back over to the clerk, who takes it with a somewhat smug expression.
"I'll see you June 1st," he says to me.
"Yes. You will," I say with a confidence I don't feel.
Now what am I going to do?
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AN:
Written: 9/7/18
Revised: 9/25/18
More time passes here, but this starts establishing some of the direction we're taking the story from here until the end. It may seem like we're not moving quickly, but trust us, if we moved any faster, it'd feel like plot whiplash. We promise there will be more Peeta in the next chapter, and more cute Everlark moments. Thanks for sticking with us!
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