This chapter was hard for me to write. I had how I wanted it planned out. I knew how emotional I wanted it to be. But as I started writing, I let my muse take over and this is what I got.

So please tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Grissom seemed to move on autopilot. He did not remember packing up his things from his office, he did not remember climbing into his car or the drive home. He barely remembered walking into the townhouse that he had shared with Sara for nearly a year. Hank bounded over to his human, nudging his leg for attention. Grissom gave him a small pat on the head as he moved past the boxer and further into the house.

Grissom only made it as far as the couch before he dropped down to sit. The bag he carried made its way to the floor beside his feet. Everything around the townhouse reminded him of her, of the life that they had started to build together. Her books lined the bookcases, mixed in among his own. Her cd collection was stacked on the shelf just above his own. Photos from their few trips together as a couple replaced a few of the insect displays that had moved to his office after she had moved in. One of his favorite photos of them sat in a frame on the table in front of him.

It had been taken on one of their rare weekends off together. He had managed to schedule them two nights off together. He had surprised her with booking a night at a cabin on the North rim of the Grand Canyon. After finishing their shift, they had met at the townhouse and he had packed a bag for the both of them without her noticing. They had spent two days hiking and exploring the Grand Canyon together. No dead bodies. No trick-rolls. No hiding their love.

Grissom reached for the frame. His vision blurring as tears welled once again in the corner of his eyes. He stared at the photo of them. They were facing each other, his hands holding her hips while her hands were resting against his chest. Sara's head titled up just ever so slightly. She was tall for a woman but he was just a fraction faces inches apart. Both were smiling and the love they felt for each other was so evident that it made his heart ache. They hadn't even known someone had captured that moment until later that day when they had returned from a hike. They had been walking back to their cabin when a man come over to them, explained he had been there for work, photographer for a travel magazine and that he couldn't pass up such a wonderful photo opportunity when he had seen them that morning. They had both been a little weary of the stranger but took the photo from him. Once they had seen the photo, they had both grateful someone had taken the photo. It quickly become both of their favorite.

Hank made his way to his humans side. He gave a another nudge at Grissom's leg and whined before looking back to the door. He knew one of his humans was missing. He knew that if one was home, the other should have followed shortly after.

Grissom hung his head, still holding the frame and allowed his shoulders to fall. "She's not coming home." It was barely a whisper but he finally spoke the words out loud. He knew the boxer wouldn't understand what he was saying, he was saying it more for himself than for the dog.

Gilbert Grissom was never one to let his feelings show nor was he good at expressing himself with those he cared about. He had grown up in nearly silence after the passing of his father and was far more comfortable communicating in ASL. He had been teaching Sara how to sign since they started dating. The first time he had told her that he loved her, it had been in ASL. He had been trying for days to speak those three simple words but he couldn't manage to get them out. Signing them had come so naturally to him and in the moment when he had done it, it felt right. He had found her in their office in the middle of night after finding her side of the bed empty. She was up, practicing her ASL. After helping her with a few signs that she couldn't quite get the hang of he asked her to see if she could read. So he had slowly signed I. Love. You. The smile that he got return would forever be burned into his memory. It was the special Sara Sidle smile that she saved only for him.

Hank whined and nudged his owner again, pulling him from his thoughts and memories that seemed like a lifetime ago. Hank looked to the door then back to Grissom with another whine as if he was asking "Where's mom?" Still, not lifting his head, Grissom nudged the dog away.

"She's not coming home. She's never coming back."

And from the first time in years, Gil Grissom allowed himself to give into his emotions. The tears spilled forth as his shoulders shook with his sobbing. The photo he had been holding, falling to the floor as both his hands went to hold his head. The weight of all the missed years with Sara, her kidnapping, and now her leaving hit like a Mac truck. For years he had been too scared to open up to her. To allow the beautiful, younger woman into his world and to love him. And when he finally did, when he finally took that leap, that risk, she crushed his heart.

Sara pulled up to the townhouse, sighing as she saw Grissom's car sitting in the drive. She pulled in to her normal parking space and shut off her own car. She sat for a moment. During her drive, she had thought about what she would say to him, how this conversation would go. Would he even be happy she was there, that she couldn't go through with leaving?

Taking a few deep breaths, Sara did her best to calm herself. She had managed to get through one tough conversation already. The ball was moving and this was the next step she had to take. As if she was moving in slow motion, she got out, grabbing her bag and made her way towards the front door.

Grissom and never heard the door open or the sound of it clicking shut. He didn't hear anyone walking towards him. She froze, just out of his sight. "She's not coming home. She's never coming back." She could hear the pain in his words as the dog moved to lay at his feet, sensing the pain Grissom was in. She watched as his body shook with the force of his pent up emotions. She wasn't the only one breaking. Her own tears sprung back to her eyes and this time, she didn't fight them. She allowed them to spill over, sliding down her cheeks. She did this. He was sitting here, crying and broken because he thought she was gone and never coming home.

Sara slowly moved forward, her bag falling to the floor with a soft thud. Her chocolate eyes never leaving the form sitting a few feet from her.

Letting out the breathe she hadn't realized she was holding, she spoke softly, trying not to completely scare him.

"I couldn't leave."