aaahhh. So I had this chapter play out in my head so many different ways. And none of them are what ended up on 'paper'. This is by far the hardest one I've written simple because I redid parts so many times because I didn't feel like that met the expectations for GSR.

To those of you who review, favorite and follow: Thank you. It's what keeps me moving along.

Please, as always, leave a review and let me know what you think. What did I do well on, what needs to be improved on?

Also, sorry for how long this update took to get out. Student teaching is crazy right now.

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

"When I said I was all in, I meant it."

Sara slowly lifted her head, allowing her eyes to lock with his when she heard what he said. She knew he loved her and that even if he wasn't always the greatest at saying how he felt, he found other ways of showing it. Her glossy hazel eyes stayed locked with his crystal blues. It felt like diving into an ocean of emotion. Everything he felt could be seen. It's how she knew at that moment that he would

there to support her. To be the strength she needed to find her way back to herself. That with this man by her side, the darkness that she was currently lost in would not swallow her whole.

Grissom gave her hand a gently yet firm squeeze as they sat in silence for now. He did not want to push her for more. Pushing her right now wouldn't be good for either one of them. It would cause her to close off and withdraw back into herself and for him, he would lose her all together. Over the past eight years, Sara had given him more than enough time. She had always been patient and always there when he needed someone. Now it was his turn to be patient with her.

Sara licked her lips. Her mouth felt like cotton. "I've already seen and spoken to Ecklie." She started again when she felt like her emotions had leveled out enough for her to talk again. Hank had come back over to his humans. He could sense something was wrong with this mom. He laid down at their feet, wanting to be close to them. Having the dog near her seemed to help calm her nerves.

"He's approved three months of paid leave." She started again, recalling her conversation with the director of the lab. She gave a small scoff "He was kind enough to not make me use my PTO or vacation." There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice at using a word kind to describe Ecklie. She never thought she'd use that word with that man in mind. Grissom gave a small chuckle at the thought of Ecklie being kind to anyone other than the sherif but he didn't interrupt Sara with speaking.

Sara looked away from Grissom, looking to their hands still interwind. "I..." She paused. This was harder than she thought it would have been. She was never one to admit that she needed help. She had been abused nearly her whole life. Whether it was at the hands of her parents- the people who were suppose to protect and love her, foster families- the ones who "stepped up" to protect her, or even at the hands of ex-boyfriends. All the past trauma had been buried deep within her, shoved to the corner of her mind and locked away. She did not want pity. She did not want sympathy. And she most certainly did not want to be viewed as weak or broken. She was anything but those things. Yes, all those past experiences helped make her into the woman that she is today, but Sara would never let that define her. Nor did she want to be viewed and treated differently because of the trauma she had endured.

Exhaling slowly, steading her emotions and trying form the words needed, Sara took her free hand and leaned towards her bag that she had dropped by the table. "I need to find help." She pulled the bag closer as she spoke, opening it and taking out the folder she had taken from Ecklie filled with all the information needed to seek out counseling. Looking at the folder, Sara felt a twinge of shame pass over her. She should have been strong enough to heal from this. Nick had healed from his kidnapping. Why was she still stuck in this dark place? Why couldn't she dig herself out like she had so many times before? Picking at the corner of the folder with her nail, Sara kept her eyes on it as she continued.

"I need to find someone on this list."

Grissom looked at the folder that was now in her lap. "We'll do it together." He spoke, squeezing her hand again. "You're not alone in this, Darlin'."

Sara looked back, her red rimmed, blood shot eyes meeting his. Grissom could see and feel how spent she was. Reaching for the folder, he gently picked it up and moved it from her lap to the bedside table. Upon placing the folder down, he stood slowly, still holding her hand, never breaking that connect.

"We will go through the paperwork in the morning. How about we draw you a bath, a cup of tea and rest?" He gave her a small smirk, gently pulling her to her feet.

Sara did not protest. She wasn't even sure how she was still able to move. She gave a small nod as her lover lead them from the living area down the stairs towards the kitchen and back up another set of stairs to their bedroom. Once in the safety of their room, Grissom dropped her hand, breaking their connection for the first time since he had realized she had come back to him.

He disappeared into the en suite bathroom. For a few seconds, there was just silence but then she heard the sound of the water running. Grissom knew just how hot to set the water for her. This wasn't the first time that he had drawn her a bath after a long or hard day. As the water filled the tub, he decided to add just a hint of her favorite lavender oil to help calm her. As the tub filled, Grissom made his way back to the bedroom. He saw Sara still standing by the bed, her head down.

How did I not see how much she was hurting before?

Moving slowly, he reached out and touched her shoulder. "Come on, Dear." He spoke in a hushed, gentle voice so he didn't startle her. Grissom moved the woman he loved towards the bathroom. Stopping her in front of the tub, he stood behind her, reaching for the hem of her shirt. Grissom undressed Sara slowly and with tender care. Sara went through the motions, allowing him to remove her shirt and jeans before her undergarments. Neither Sara stepped into the warm water with the help of Grissom. He held on to her forearm with one hand and the other at the small of her back.

He watched her for a moment. He may not be the best at voicing his emotions and thoughts but he was a master at showing them in small gestures like this.

"I'm going to make you some tea." He kept his voice soft before walking from the room back to the kitchen.

Filling the kettle and turning on the gas range, he leaned against the counter, palms flat on the counter top and head hung. "How did I not see her pain sooner?" He spoke to himself as Hank came over. He had sensed something was off and had stayed away until now. The pup gave a soft whine and nudged the leg of his human dad.

Grissom moved his gaze to the boxer, giving a small yet sad smile. "Did I have my nose too far down my microscope again to notice that she needed me?" The boxer titled his head, as if the answer to that question was obvious.

As the kettle whistled, Grissom removed two mugs from the cabinet and poured the steaming water into them, adding camellia tea to each, hoping between the bath and the tea, Sara would be able to get a little rest.

Carrying both mugs back to the bathroom, he walked in "Tea's..." He stopped when he saw that she was crying. He's heart broke all over again.

Setting the tea down, he moved as fast as his aging body would allow. "Honey." Going over to her, not giving a second thought to his dry clothes. His only thought was to comfort her. Kneeling beside the tub, he put his arms around her shoulders.

The tea was cold and forgotten near the sink. As Sara calmed down, Grissom pulled back slightly, reaching for a clean towel to wrap around her slim frame.

"I'm sorry." Sara's voice sounded so broken, not like her normally strong and confident self.

Shaking his head, Grissom helped her stand, shaking his head slightly and he said "I should be the one saying sorry to you, Darlin'" He wrapped the towel around her and guided her out of the bedroom and over to the bed. Sitting her on the edge of the bed, he moved over to chest of drawers to take out the UCLA shirt that she liked to sleep in.

Moving back to the bed, Grissom helped her dress in the shirt and pulled back the covers on her side. Holding them up for her to slide in. Once she was settled into their bed, Grissom kicked off his own shoes and slipped in beside her. He didn't care that he was still in his work clothes or that his shirt was wet from the bath. Shifting to his side to face her, he opened his arms in hope that she would accept the invention to be held.

Sara moved into his warmth. She always like the warmth that his body provided. Nestling into his side, she put her head on his bicep and closing her eyes.

"Sleep. You're safe. I won't leave." His words were soft whispers, lowering his head down to kiss the top of her head as he kept her close. And in the morning, we will start your healing.