So, almost a week late. I blame the holidays.
Anyways, shout out to everyone who faved and followed both this fic, HR&B, and my profile. You guys are awesome. If you guys like this make sure to follow to receive email notifications for updates, and leave a review to tell me what you loved, what you hated, etc. I'm open to constructive criticism, with big emphasis on constructive. Just plain criticism or flaming will result in deleting your comment and possible banning depending on the severity of the situation. So please be kind and enjoy this chapter!
Words: 2,235
Posted: 01.04.2022
Truth - Ramin Djawadi
I still thought of that dream for months after it had happened. It had given me some of the closure that I desired, but I had felt somewhat guilty dreaming of another man while I was married and intimate with my husband.
Ravus and I continued with our new routine, spending brief moments together when we could, and retreating to our bedroom in the evenings.
Our couplings became less forced as we grew closer. I would never claim that it was love we shared, it was nothing like I had experienced before. But we found companionship in each other, our nights together providing us with the closeness and intimacy we had both been lacking in our lives.
Despite all this, we still had nothing to show for it. No pregnancy symptoms, no missed periods; hell, not even any signs of miscarriage to prove that I was capable of being pregnant. My nerves couldn't handle much more of this stress, not with the Imperial visit days away.
My stomach rolled at the thought of crossing paths with that slimy chancellor again. Something was wrong about that man, the air he carried with him was dark and unsettling, the same feeling you had when you are alone and feel like someone is watching you.
There was nothing I could do at this point, the Imperial party was scheduled to arrive this afternoon, and with no signs of pregnancy, we were out of time.
My mind was pulled back to the present as Ravus exited the dressing room, his signature uniform coat in his arms as he adjusted his shirt sleeves.
"Do we have a concrete idea of when the envoy is to be arriving at the manor?" I asked, returning my attention to my dressing table mirror.
"Border guards spotted the aircraft passing by half an hour ago, meaning they should arrive within the hour," Ravus replied, pulling on his coat before turning to glance over to where I sat.
I hummed lightly, focusing my attention on the selection of jewelry in front of me. I needed to find the right balance to display my security in my position while also not offending our guests by being overconfident in my power.
After all, the empire was still in control even if their presence was kept to a minimum within the manor and its grounds.
"If you stare at those pins any harder, they might just burst into flames." The blonde comments dryly.
I glanced up into the mirror to smile fondly at my husband's reflection.
"It's not every day that the chancellor of all people visits us. I need to look the part of a princess while also appearing how they want – a powerless princess."
"Everything is a political move with you. Pick a damn hairpin and be done with it, I say." He replied with a role of his dual-colored eyes.
"It's no different than military strategy, only we use words, not weapons." I said, finally settling on a simple jade pin carved in the shape of a lotus flower. It was one of the few pieces I had a chance to help design, from the stone and shape, right down to the small freshwater pearls that dangled down from the base of the jade.
"I have no idea what makes that pin any different from the others, but you do look the part of a humble but well-cared-for princess." The former prince observed, running his gaze over me as I stood carefully.
Waves of vertigo had become the bane of my existence recently, worrying both Luna and Ravus into mother-henning me with reminders to eat and drink frequently to combat the potential low blood sugar that I might be experiencing.
A knock sounded at the door to our dressing room, signaling the entry of a servant. They gave a short bow, eyes directed to the floor as they spoke.
"The imperial party has arrived and been settled into their rooms, your graces."
"Thank you, Catherine. Please have the servants inform them that dinner will be within the next hour or so." I ordered, looking back into the mirror to check over for any imperfections.
"Yes, my lady."
I had instructed the servants to take care of the imperial party without my direct overview, choosing to abscond away with Luna as we waited for Ravus to complete some last-minute duties before dinner.
My stomach was rolling with the thought of facing the chancellor and whatever doctor had been dragged along for the dreaded exam I would experience soon. If it wasn't for the precarious situation we found ourselves in, I would have skipped dinner altogether.
Ravus' appearance from his office did nothing to calm my nerves, as it signaled that it was time to meet the imperial party in the dining hall.
Dinner could have been considered a dull affair if threats weren't being made every two seconds by the imperial party.
The chancellor's comment was what drove me away from the dining hall early, anxiety and fear leading me back to the royal apartments.
"So much depends on an heir being born, your grace. Think of your people, and how much a child would mean to them."
The future of Goryeo depended on my ability to produce a child, a pawn to be molded by the empire into their perfect puppet.
The thought alone made me break into tears as I collapsed against the side of the sofa.
I don't know how long I sat there crying before arms wrapped around me in comfort, pulling my body against a broad chest and simply holding me.
I cried myself to sleep that night, barely aware of Ravus putting me to bed.
The doctor that had traveled with the imperials was as slimy as they come. Decrepit and an air of superiority around him, it was a miracle he hadn't died from his age or his ego.
He settled into the room dedicated for this appointment as if he was the most important person in the world. Dr. Lazarus. Even his name was slimy.
With a brief adjustment of his glasses, he pinned us with his ice-blue gaze.
"High commander, my lady. We will first begin with some questions and then I shall conduct a physical exam on her grace to determine if there are any issues with conception or anything to note." He announced, his words giving no room for arguments.
"Of course, doctor." Ravus stated, giving me a sideways glance.
"Now, these questions will seem invasive, but they are all necessary for us to gain the full picture of the situation." Invasive was putting it lightly.
Thus began the inquisition.
"How consistent would you claim your cycles to be, my lady?"
"Fairly regular, rarely late or early." I responded, choosing to remain detached from the situation as much as I could.
"And how often do you both couple?"
"Often enough." Ravus stated, limiting information much to the doctor's displeasure.
"And how often is 'often enough'?"
Ravus sighed, directing his gaze at the ceiling before answering, "Nearly every night, unless I am detained by work, or my wife is unavailable."
"Is her grace either barring you from her bed or potentially taking contraceptives?"
Okay that crossed a line.
"I beg your pardon?!" I asked, almost rising from my seat of Ravus hadn't been holding me down by the hand.
"A necessary enquiry, your Grace." The doctor stated, as if we were having a casual discussion about the weather.
"Tread carefully, doctor. That is my wife you are speaking to, a princess by her own right." My husband warned, easily coming to my defence.
"Very well, I shall take that as a no." He assumes, typing everything into his tablet before asking the next question.
"Now, is there any evidence of miscarriages, natural or medically induced?"
"You are on very thin ice right now." Ravus hissed equally as offended as I was.
"Could she have a lover that she is seeking out in preference over you?" The doctor pressed on, further trying our patience.
"How could I when I'm surrounded by the spies of your emperor and watched at every turn?" I replied, leaning back, and crossing my arms over my chest as I fixed my brown gaze on the doctor.
I could see the sweat beading on his forehead, clearly thrown off by the united front Ravus and I presented.
"Well, if those answers are true, we'll move onto the examination. High commander, you may leave for this portion of the appointment." The doctor offered, clearly itching to get my husband out of the room and his icy gaze off him.
"If you don't mind, I will stay with my wife if she so desires." Came Ravus' cool reply, much to the doctor's visible displeasure.
"I would appreciate it if you would, husband." I confirmed, choosing to cling tightly to his hand for support in what was to come.
"Very well. I shall wait in the hall while you change into the dressing gown, my lady." The doctor said, practically fleeing the room as I turned to unfold the dressing gown.
It was certainly better than a hospital gown, closer to what I wore over my night gowns than the cotton open-backed gowns found in medical settings.
Ravus wordlessly assisted with the buttons down the back of my dress, his touch delicate as he helped me free from the heavy periwinkle coloured fabric.
Tying the dressing gown around my waist, I sat on the small bed that would serve as the examination table and watched as Ravus fetched the doctor from the hall.
They both returned as anxiety churned in my stomach.
"Alright just going to have a look here to see if everything is in working order."
Ravus graciously came to stand at my side, taking my hand as I laid back and was bared to the decrepit doctor.
"You may feel a small pinch, my lady." Dr. Lazarus warned, the cold metal of the speculum causing me to jolt before the discomfort set in.
It was certainly not a pinch as he cranked open the speculum. The discomfort that bordered on pain was far worse than any pap smear I had received in my previous life.
I sat there, waiting for everything to be over, squeezing Ravus' hand to the point of potentially crushing it.
"Everything appears to be in working order. We'll do some ultrasounds and further bloodwork if needed." The doctor announced, slowly removing the speculum much to my relief.
My relief was short-lived, as I soon realized it would be an internal ultrasound. The pre-existing discomfort that the speculum caused continued.
"Ovaries look good, no scarring on either them or the fallopian tubes. Cervix looks healthy." The doctor muttered more to himself than either of us. He squinted at the small screen, devoting his gaze to one area of the monitor.
"Now what do we have here..." he hummed quietly, shifting closer.
"Is that…" I breathed out lightly, hope filling my chest at the possibility.
"I believe it is. Congratulations commander, my lady. You have a baby on the way." The doctor confirmed, causing me to drop my head back against the pillow in relief.
Ravus squeezed my hand gently, a silent confirmation of his own restrained joy.
"Judging by the size, I'd say you're at about 7-9 weeks along. Not quite out of the danger zone yet, but nearly there." The doctor observed, "Have you been experiencing any symptoms prior to the exam that you have been dismissing recently?"
"Just some nausea and a few instances of vomiting. We thought it was just nerves over planning for the envoy's visit." I said quietly, feeling almost out of breath in my relief.
"She has also been experiencing episodes of vertigo as well." Ravus added, causing me to glare at him slightly as I hadn't wanted to share that bit of information.
"Well, now you have your answer. I'll send word off to Gralea immediately and inform the chancellor of my intention to remain here for the remainder of your pregnancy." The doctor informed us, putting away the equipment and leaving the room quickly.
"Ravus…" I whispered, looking over to him once we had the room to ourselves again.
My husband took a few steps away from my side, his back turned to me.
"Now that our duty is done, you are free to move back to your own rooms. They will allow you the space to prepare for the baby." He said, barely containing the threads of pain that coloured his voice.
I could only look at his back in shock, standing quickly before reaching out to him.
My arms wrapped around his waist as I hugged him from behind, my head not even passing his shoulder.
"Ravus, this is just as much your child as it is mine. I would never stop you from experiencing fatherhood. So please, don't shut me out." I promised and begged him.
"I can't do this without you."
The blonde-haired man slowly turned in my arms to face me, wrapping me up in his own embrace as his lips dropped down to the top of my head.
"Thank you. Thank you, Soo… I won't let you down, I won't fail either of you in this." Ravus whispered into my hair, continuing to hold me delicately as we enjoyed our moment of peace.
SO. Soo is pregnant. Any preference on the sex of baby Fleuret? I'm partial to one but I wanna hear what you guys think and why it should be one or the other. I have a vague outline set that can work for either, I just need to make a decision. So cast your votes on the poll I have up on my profile and if you'd like to argue your reasoning, you may do so in the reviews. I'm open to all opinions. The decision will be made in conjunction with the votes over on ao3 as well, meaning that even though the majority here voted for a boy, the combined votes for a girl on both sites will win. Voting will close January 26 when chapter 12 is published.