For Heidi

.:.

Which One?

The slamming of the door made the laundry that he was folding drop out of Jonesy's hands, the alarm quickly straightening the bend in his back without the aid of his hand fitting into its center. As he listened to the boots slap the floorboards, he had a feeling the ache that had already settled in place would soon be forgotten. Moving to the bedroom doorway, he leaned his head through, his eyes latching onto a rigid body that was gripping a rifle tight while a long set of fingers reached for a box of shells to fill it.

His steps were slow, but once Jonesy came to his side, he placed both hands against the chair at the table closest to him. Jonesy lifted his head but he couldn't find the bitter blue, for the eyes were only focused on the task of loading the rifle. "You look like you're aiming to shoot somebody with that thing."

"I am." The reply was hard and it produced a chill down a weathered spine.

"Who?"

"I don't know his name."

The quake was still prominent, but Jonesy felt a touch of relief in the response, even if it would only last a moment. If asked, Jonesy would have admitted that he was afraid the answer would have been Slim's partner's name. But then as quickly as that thought was dismissed a new one was created. Jonesy left the dinner table and this time taking his longest stride, he went to the window to peer out. He saw the one horse, but the hitching post was absent of the others.

"Wait a minute. You left here with two more by your side. Where's Andy and Jess?"

"A man has them," Slim answered with the kind of coldness not usually felt coming off of his breath.

"The man you're aiming to shoot?"

"That's right." The rifle was secured of its final bullet, an additional handful going into his pocket and then the boots were pounding again, taking him back through the door.

It would have been another slam if he hadn't caught the door in its violent swing. "Slim!"

"I can't take the time to explain," Slim said during his walk to his horse, the rifle staying in his clasp even as he became fitted into the saddle. "Every second counts."

He nodded, understanding the urgency, but he couldn't let Slim ride off without a pearl to go with him. "I know you have to go. Just be careful when you line those sights up that another doesn't get focused on you first."

Jonesy liked having the final word, but this time it made him cringe. Slim's silence meant that he was making no promises, which left the last refrain a haunting question. Before this day was ended, would one of the family be a dead man?

.:.

Slim reined up, the skid of hooves against the ground and the dust that curled like a miniature storm firmly declared the speed that he had taken his mount until now. Looking down, he waited for the dirt to return to its normal position and found the tracks. He was at the place. Of course Slim wouldn't have needed the marks on the ground as a reminder. His mind had been hammering through the memories, and by the ache from his temples to the back of his skull, someone must have been using a real hammer. Held in the hand of a man he didn't know, but was willing to kill.

Slim couldn't see the pair of horses that were running in fear when he was last in this place. He could only assume that Jess' mount and the one Andy had chosen to ride were standing along the creek close by, perhaps just around the bend. Most assuredly, the man didn't need them. All he wanted was a hostage to get him through the territory unscathed. He had chosen Andy, but because Jess had been closer than Slim at the time of Andy's holler, the man had taken two. But since a clear passage had only the need of one, Slim wouldn't know where that would leave his partner. And as he knew Jess as well as his own brother, Slim expected more than one knock against his skull had happened by now.

The first had come when the man threatened to put a bullet in Jess' back if Slim took one step further. He dropped his weapons into the stream as instructed and started to pull away, but a balled fist wanted to find flesh and when Jess made the attempt, a gun butt crashed hard into his hair. Slim had watched the scene for only a minute longer, the man giving Jess an unmerciful toss into the rear end of a wagon and then at gunpoint, Andy was placed in the driver's seat. From that moment forward, Slim entertained the same thought: Save Andy and Jess, whatever the cost.

Slim didn't like to think of what side of advantage he was sitting on, but there was one favored thing. The man couldn't travel that fast in these parts. The road was too precarious to push the team of horses to the extreme and as Slim returned to the place of capture he looked at the tracks with anticipation of catching up with them soon. And then the unnamed assailant would catch what was waiting inside of his rifle. Maybe more than one.

He shifted his gaze briefly at the western sky. Dusk was what, an hour away, two would be pushing it, but it meant certain stoppage, but not for Slim. Not until he caught up, even if he had to take his mount through the darkness all the way to the midnight hour. The willingness might have been there, but Slim knew that the time wouldn't stretch that long, especially when he encouraged his horse to pound the roadway with a fervency only felt when someone loved was in danger. It should be right around the corner.

The scent was what caught him first, coming from a small dip nestled in the high terrain. Slim's near silent command to a pair of attentive ears brought a skid in the dust and with a simple toss of the reins over a nearby branch, Slim was on his feet, a boulder soon to be underneath his belly. Inching forward, Slim saw the smoke's curl before the rest of the campsite came into view, and then when he saw the upright body, the rifle was fully ahead of him.

It was him, all right. Slim hadn't received the clearest view of the man, but he would recognize that kind of enemy anywhere. The target established, Slim made a slight shift against the cool stone to see the ground below him, searching for what nestled close to his heart and when he found the first, that very heart leapt into his throat. Blood shouldn't have been what stood out the most, but it was, and it was all over Andy's face, pouring from a gash at his hairline. And by the stillness of the small body, he was unconscious. But Jess? He couldn't find the familiar outline and his pulse started to run wild.

Slim hadn't found him discarded anywhere on the trail so he must be somewhere. He wanted to scream his partner's name and hear the quick return, but to keep the bullets inside the guns on both sides, Slim remained in silence. He made a quick dart backward, briefly making the camp invisible to crawl from one boulder to another, and from a different vantage point, more of the clearing was opened up. He saw a patch of blue and Slim's mouth began to part, because it wasn't just a patch of blue, but a mass of blood. Jess? He had to raise his head higher for a fuller picture. Dear God. That was Jess. Bent, perhaps broken in multiple places and tied with more than one loop, he looked close to stepping through death's door if he hadn't already put one boot over the threshold.

The rifle had no control to rise on its own, but it seemed that it had, as Slim's hand brought the barrel to a point before his brain could even catch up with what he was doing. He had a bead on the man, a precise, deadly aim, but suddenly movement below diverted Slim's attention. Unfortunately it shifted the outlaw's position too. He could feel grateful that he knew Jess was alive, the groan reaching as far as Slim's sharp ears as Jess separated from the barrier of darkness, but if the unnamed man took too many steps that way, Slim's position could be easily spotted. He didn't dare move, although the finger was beyond the itching stage to be pulled, but even that slight adjustment could make the wrong eyes find him. Slim held his breath as the steps crunched the ground directly beneath him, but it wasn't enough.

Emptying his holster to point the iron at Jess' back, the man's stubble-lined chin raised to connect with Slim's frame. "Stay where you are or he gets it!"

"Looks like he's already got some of it," Slim answered, his voice making Jess stir more, but arousal hadn't touched the younger head yet. "Or should I say both of them."

"The kid's was an accident," he said, giving a single bob toward Andy. Slim couldn't bring enough confidence to his surface to believe his tale, but then the gun tapped the air toward Jess. "This one asked for everything he got."

That Slim believed. He took a short breath, pulling his eyes away from Jess' crumpled position to lock with evil's darkest gaze. "Either way, they aren't in good enough shape for what you have in mind. I'll make you a deal. You take me in their place and I'll toss my guns aside, ride with you willingly until you make it to where you're going."

"No, no." The head shake continued well after the negative response came out of his mouth. "You might have a trick up your sleeve. I'll stick with what I've got. Less worrisome that way since I already know that they're not going to squabble none. But you do have a point. Both hostages are a bit rough around the edges. I'll tell you what, I'll give you one. The other goes with me until I'm safely out of the territory."

One. He could have one. But which one? He looked at his brother, the face pale like paper with the stark contrast of his blood marring the sheet. Should there really be a debate? It had to be Andy. All the way. But all it took was another glance at Jess, back under darkness' merciful door, and he had to pause to wonder. How could he leave Jess behind when his life was closer to death's line? Slim didn't think his heart could pound any harder inside of his skull than how it felt at the moment. He knew what he had to do.

"What's it going to be?" The taunt sizzled up to him and burned his cheeks.

"All right," Slim answered, the sudden dryness in his throat making his voice rattle, or was that because his limbs started to quiver now that his choice had been made? "Give me the boy."

"Lose your guns and come down slow."

They landed with a clatter, the pistol getting a hard enough drop against the boulder's surface that it slid down its side where it was swallowed in the brush. Kicking the rifle further behind him, Slim left the stone with a hop, and the rest of the trek into the campsite was done with short steps, his hands needed for more than one support until he reached flatter soil. Andy's still frame too close to not make it all the way, the gun's point didn't move away from Jess' back as Slim lowered his hands to grip Andy's arms.

"Andy?" There was no response, not even a simple groan, but there was breath. It was certain in the movements of his chest and Slim's own heaved with relief.

"You've got him. Now get," he commanded, his mouth twitching into a smile as he could read Slim's expression of hatred, but the place he had him backed into, the threat could only be given through that scathing look, nothing further.

Slim picked up his limp brother and took a step in reverse, his eyes darting ahead of an invisible trail to where he had left his horse. He couldn't go back the way he had dropped with Andy in his arms, which left the only route out was to put his stride directly beside Jess. His pounding pulse should have gone to a new extreme, but it was tapering some. Coming close was far from being easier, but at least this way, he could relay a message to his partner's shrouded ears. Even though it could only be short.

"I'm sorry, Pard." Slim's throat hitched as he concluded with a sniff of his nose. It didn't matter how much it burned behind his eyes, through his nose, down his throat and all the way into his gut, he wouldn't allow a tear.

Andy couldn't see or even understand what was happening, yet Slim tucked the pale face closer to his shoulder, an extra shield as Jess' body was passed. When the last view of him behind his slanted eyes was gone, Slim's backbone grew to its straightest, his walk away from the site firm, his every boot fall hard with his emotions.

"I'll be back," Slim promised at his horse's side. It was too far for the outlaw to hear, and if Jess was still out cold, then there would be nothing positive to tickle his partner's ears, yet still he voiced the vow. He might have been stripped of his guns for a second time that day, but his arsenal at home wasn't yet exhausted. He only had to get Andy to Jonesy, then prepare for an early dawn's return for Jess.

It was impossible to put his mount into anything more than a walk. The pace was a grueling hit to Slim's heart that had partially stayed behind by Jess' battered side, but because the other half was beating against a small frame that shared the same blood that pumped inside of it, he couldn't increase the speed by even the smallest notch. This made what was pounding the ground from beyond the bend in the road appear to be barreling at him even faster.

There was a group of men, ten was his quick count, and they were in a steady aim for the camp where he had just come from. A posse of that magnitude would be an answer to his every prayer. A smile crept into Slim's face but what had seen a quick birth made an even quicker death when every hoof was stilled. There wasn't a single star among them.

"Who are you?" Slim asked the apparent leader.

"Name's Maynard. You?"

"Sherman," Slim answered, but he could tell by the glare that there was no point in giving him more than a nod with his handle. "What's your business?"

"Aiming to kill a man. Been trailing him for two days and by the looks of these tracks, I finally caught up."

At least they had something in common, but Slim refrained from showing the shared emotion with a nod. "He got a name?"

"Piper. Don't know the first and it doesn't matter. He gunned down my sister and brother-in-law. Today he's going to die."

Slim figured the man had to be running from something more than a holdup, but now that he knew specifics, it didn't make his insides feel any better. This man, with several more behind him, were only pursuing for revenge, not for law's version of justice. But then Slim was struck with a reality that came close to bringing truth's hand to slap his face. He wasn't much different. The only difference would have been the hesitation to pull the trigger. With Slim, it was long enough for Piper to discover his presence. With Maynard, the bullet's release would be instantaneous.

"It's a good thing you're more than clear," Maynard continued with a nod to the place that Slim could still see behind his blinking eyelids. "When we're finished over there, if anyone's with Piper, then he's going to be just as dead as he is."

At the last breath out of Maynard's mouth, the group started to churn the road into dust, leaving Slim in its wake and the man's words to catch up with him. They wrapped around his brain before the dirt could settle back onto the ground. Jess was with Piper!

"Wait!" Slim's shout sprung forward with the rapid twist of his horse leaping into motion, but not a single head turned back to look at him, but one did bend in his direction.

"Slim?"

"Andy." Slim's voice didn't have much more elevation than Andy's had produced, but the louder groan from the boy made him pull up on the reins, his eyes forced to draw away from the advancing men. "Are you all right?"

"My head," Andy answered, a pair of fingers trying to trail through the blood line. "I tried to stop him from hurting Jess, but I tripped and hit my head."

Slim gave a slight nod. Piper had said it was an accident, but whether or not he really believed the man meant nothing now. As Andy's movement brought the drip to a more rapid fall off of his forehead, Slim put a handkerchief against the gash and immediately winced as an even worse cringe distorted Andy's face.

"Slim, I don't feel so good."

"Take it easy, Andy, I'll get you ho..." but how could he complete the promise when Jess was about to be...

He had never startled so much by the sound of a gunshot in his life. And the second and the third had the same effect. The rest came in such a flurry that it was impossible to count. Jess. There would be no escaping that amount of firing. Slim's head bowed low as he hugged his brother to his chest, the air in his lungs forgotten until it screamed with the need of a fresh draft. He breathed it in through shaking lips but the tightness was growing worse. There wasn't a single drop of blood released, but by the pain that throttled his entire being, every bullet fired must have somehow entered into Slim's flesh.

"Slim?" Andy's soft cry was a pierce to his soul. The sound of ten horses fleeing into the dusk was another. "What is it?"

"Come on Andy," Slim said, the first swallow doing nothing to release the thickness in his throat. The second did nothing either. "I'll take you home."

.:.

With a hand with more wrinkles than what he dared count turning the knob, the door creaked open and his feet found a portion of the porch, and with a similar whine, the door was closed again. Turning toward the empty chair and the one that was filled beside it, Jonesy recognized the sound and its familiarity hit him roughly in the chest. Slim was mourning. It wasn't the type where a body was spread out over a gravesite, weeping their hearts out through tears, but it had its own prominent ring. Slim's breaths were heavy, like the hand that was gripping the sidearm at his hip, but where that touch through fingertips was solid, his wide shoulders shook.

It was so soft, it could have been the droplet that slipped through Jonesy's lashes. "Slim."

He didn't look up, but the acknowledgement of the older man's presence was given with a simple nod, and what flowed out of his lips, although whispered, was nothing less than torture. "I had to leave him behind, Jonesy."

"It was the hardest thing ever, but you did what you had to, Slim."

"I know. I know. But I left my best friend there to die."

The question had been there since the brothers returned without the partner, but it was only now that it was taken out of his mouth. "So Jess is dead?"

Slim's voice cracking as he tried to respond was enough, but sensing the need for more, Slim's head nodded only once, and then he whispered a rough, "yes."

A hand connected to Slim's shoulder and gave a squeeze, but Jonesy wished he could have been holding the man like he had done on another horrible night, when a beloved mother was buried. "Oh Slim, I'm so sorry."

"I had to make a choice. Save my brother, or save Jess. I knew what Jess would've said if we had time to discuss it. So I got Andy out of there, just to let Jess die."

"Does Andy know?" Jonesy watched Slim's head shake.

"Not yet. I know I have to tell him. But I can't. Not tonight."

"Morning."

He didn't know which version of the word Jonesy meant, dawn or grief, but Slim nodded. It would be both anyway. "Morning."

"His body?"

Slim's hand wobbled as it spread across the front of his shirt and gave a short rub. "I'll ride over there early and bring him here to lay to rest."

Jonesy nodded, his eyes naturally moving to where the two gravestones stood in place. "Your pa and ma will watch over him."

"Someone has to. I certainly didn't."

"Don't beat yourself, Slim. It's not healthy for you or for that boy in there."

"It's no use, Jonesy. I haven't stopped pounding my flesh since I walked away from him. I don't expect it will ever stop."

"Time has a way of easing the pain," Jonesy said, his mouth parting to share more, but not with Slim's steady head shake in front of him.

"No, not this time. A part of me died tonight, Jonesy. A body can't come back from that."

"I suppose so." Jonesy's hand dropped back to his side to give a thumb's point to the house. "You gonna come to bed?"

"Not yet," Slim answered, and then brought both hands in a tight clasp to rest against his mouth. It couldn't stop their trembling, yet he kept them there to stifle what was threatening to come out.

"Well, I'll leave the light on for you," Jonesy said, turning the knob once more to go inside, his lips quietly working a phrase he thought he would be the only one to hear. "This place certainly isn't going to be the same without him."

It certainly wasn't.

Slim leaned his head back, the partial view of the night sky showing a sprinkle of stars, but instead of the brightest, he focused on the one that seemed the farthest away. That was how dim the house was going to be now. Without Jess.

"This place certainly isn't going to be the same without you," Slim whispered the repeat. But where Jonesy had left that as his finishing line, Slim's was only the beginning. "The way you'd barrel into the room, sometimes hot under the collar or exploding with excited energy stronger than Andy's, either way it was lit with contagious fire. Then there's the way you could be spitting mad and burst with laughter in almost the same breath. You ride like there's someone always nipping at your tail, fight like it was always your most skillful battle and win and never gloat at its finish. You could make me mad enough to kick you off the place or make me want to knock my fist alongside your skull, but then I'd be the first one to make sure you'd make it back home again. Oh Pard, why'd you have to go to a place where I couldn't bring you back? Dear God, can't you let me take a step into whichever side opened up for him just to say goodbye? He wouldn't have wanted to say it, but I..."

Clop. Clop. Clop.

His head lifted, the tears over his eyes blurring the scene that was already limited by the late hour, yet he recognized the familiar approach. Must be Jess' mount. After the brutal attack on his soul, Slim had neglected to find the two horses that had left with his earlier that day and let them rest in their stalls. By the sound it was only one making the return, but that made sense. Jess' horse was more experienced than the one Andy had ridden out on, and instinct would have told Jess' faithful companion to go home when his master didn't come for him. There was a hard rock in Slim's throat. The horse's master would never come for him again.

Clop. Cloppity-clop.

It was more persistent now, taking a quicker push off of the hill. More eager that home was fully in the animal's sight and Slim stood, his steps off of the porch going toward the incoming horse. Since Jonesy had left the lamp burning, the glow through the window radiated far enough that the path to the corral was lit, and there Slim paused, the horse close enough now that he could hear more than its hooves striking dirt, but the air whooshing through his nose.

"Over here," Slim said, and as he reached a hand out toward the star as it came into focus, Slim slid his fingers into the bridle, but as a large head lowered, Slim's eyes jumped farther back.

Someone was in the saddle and that someone was about to fall to the ground.

If Slim had ever wondered what getting struck by lightning felt like, it was this. "Jess!"

Slim caught the upper half of his body before the ground could seize the entire frame, his gape wide enough that the horse could have jumped through. Jess wasn't just alive, but he was conscious, the blue bright enough to see even with the smallest ray of light shining on them.

"Jess, you're alive! But I thought you'd been..."

"Plowed under?" A corner of Jess' mouth made an upward curl. "Yeah, it came kinda close."

"You're hurt awful bad, Jess, let me get you in the house."

"Not just yet, Slim," Jess said, his gloved hand working across his face to land on his hair. "Gimme a minute so I won't feel so dizzy and then I'll get up and walk myself in."

"Always got to be the most stubborn in the bunch, don't you?"

"Ever since I was born."

It had to be said, and there was no better time for it than now. "I had to leave you behind, Jess. I'm sorry. I..."

"Don't you apologize to me," Jess snapped, and a smile stretched across Slim's face at the melodious sound of his temper. "You saved Andy, that's all that mattered. I reckon I had enough left in me to save myself."

"But how? Maynard and his men. They wouldn't have left a body breathing the way they were shooting to kill."

"They didn't. Piper got it real fast. He might have been the devil's close cousin, but no one deserves to be peppered that many times. After they were done, they rode out faster than they'd come in."

"So they didn't even see you?"

"Yeah, they saw me," Jess answered, the confusion on Slim's face loud enough that he was quick to continue. "I came to just as they were riding up and Piper walked over to me, you know, threatening to shoot my head clean off, but Maynard didn't care about me and I reckon Piper knew it too. As soon as he saw who was in the lead, Piper started running. Once they were through with him, they never looked back."

"You look like you can barely stand, Jess. How'd you make it out of there?"

"I was able to get outta the rope by loosening the knot on the wagon. I didn't figure my backend would stay where I put it if I took the wagon home. That reminds me Slim, one of us is gonna have to take care of that team and Piper's body."

"I'll take care of it in the morning. So how'd you manage then?"

"It took more than one stumble, but I found my horse and started for home. It's a good thing he knows the way better than I do."

"I think we all know which way is home. Sometimes it's just more challenging to get there." He saw Jess' nod take on the hue of a smile and then Slim's hand gripped Jess' arm. "You ready to get up now?"

"I reckon." Jess regained his feet, but he wouldn't have been able to take a step if there wasn't a source of strength by his side. "Slim. You thought I was dead, huh?"

"I did."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"The way it musta made you feel inside. I know that pain, all too well."

"I know you do, Pard. My loss might've only been for a few hours, but I doubt I can shuck it off right away. Hurts too deep."

"Yeah, that kind's one you never get over, Slim. You just learn to live with it."

"Speaking of learning to live with something, I guess I get to learn to live with you all over again."

Jess made the abrupt stop right off the porch step. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, the noises of all the fighting, outbursts, gunshots, things like that."

"Dad-gum, Slim, I oughta..."

"You didn't let me finish." Slim pushed the rising fist down to Jess' side. "And I wouldn't have it any other way, because it's you and all of that noise that makes this family complete."

"Aw, Slim, I wouldn't go that far."

"I already did," Slim said, giving his boot a firm tap on the porch to alert the pair that was on the inside before his lips could utter it. "Come on, there's a couple of others that need to see that you're home. Jonesy! Andy! Guess who's here?"

Slim took a step backward as the hugs and backslapping was going on, his eyes feeling another dose of mist, but this time, these tears were only there to wash the grieving ones away.

.:.

This was Heidi's idea and I thought once the first few lines were written, it was going to be easy. Hah. This one took me an entire month to write, whereas the other "chapters" were written in as little as one to ten days. I fought with it, reworked it, got mad at it some more, and almost gave up on it. But it finally got itself figured out. I do a lot of walking this time of year, sometimes two or three hours in the evenings and that's often when I get struck with ideas. I don't know how many hours I spent thinking this one out in my head, but nevertheless, thank you Heidi. It might have been a challenge, but like all challenges once accomplished, it was worth it. (At least I hope you all think so!) Much love to you all, Calico