Roman history is one of my favorite areas of study. Of course, Roman history is quite scandalous, violent, and disturbing. You have been forewarned.

Starring Ancient Rome x OC.

Warning: A bit of Stockholm Syndrome (sorta). Mentions of adultery and domestic issues.

Sabine

Germania tried to ignore the sounds of yelling and objects smashing as he reviewed the reports from the imperial guards under his command – they were his people, forced into service to Rome's emperor after their lands were invaded and colonized (not that he was resentful or anything).

Rome suddenly dashed into the room as a vase smashed into the doorframe, narrowly missing his head, as he shielded himself with his arms. He was pursued by a furious woman. She would have been pretty had her face not been contorted into a hateful snarl, her hazel eyes glinting dangerously. She was normally an elegant figure, dressed in fine clothes and jewelry, her dark hair immaculately tied up beneath a diadem with delicate ringlets framing her fine features. Today, however, she had abandoned her regal and sophisticated bearing in order to vent her rage on Rome for what was likely another indiscretion.

"You bastard!" she screamed, launching another vase at Rome – which he dodged, causing it to smash against a nearby pillar.

"Sabina, uxor amica mea, it meant nothing!" Rome pleaded as the enraged woman continued to hurl abuse and objects at him.

"You call tramping around with that Egyptian whore 'nothing'?!"

Germania pressed his face closer to the scroll as he attempted to ignore the all-too-common domestic dispute taking place in the background. Beside him, he heard Thrace – another reluctant peon of Rome's – give a soft snort of laughter at Rome's unfortunate situation.

"I hate you! Don't you ever touch me again, lecher!"

The angry woman stormed off, heading up the stairs and slamming the door to her private chambers so loudly it echoed throughout the palace. Rome finally crept out from under the table where he'd been seeking refuge and sighed in relief that he was safe…for now. He then collapsed into a chair beside his two unwilling servants and poured himself a goblet of wine from the pitcher on the table.

"Why can that woman not just leave me alone?" Rome said. He then turned to Germania and Thrace, who were staring at him with stony expressions which he ignored. "Never start a marriage with a kidnapping. Both of you promise me that."

The two territories grumbled their agreement at the statement. Then they registered what he'd said and their eyes widened.

"What?" said Germania. "What do you mean your marriage started with a kidnapping?"

"Ita vero, it did," said Rome. "Have I not told you both how I met my dear Sabina?"

Germania replied that, no, Rome had never thought to bring it up with them. Thrace muttered that he honestly didn't care but Rome was now going to tell them, anyway, regardless of if they wanted to know or not. Rome smiled almost fondly and propped his feet up on the table as he launched into his story.

Mid-8th Century B.C.

Romulus glared at the gangly, disheveled youth who represented the new kingdom he'd established out of the dirty collection of tribes in the heart of Latium. Rome gave his leader a sheepish look and tried not to wince as the morning light made his head throb. Rome was flanked on either side by warriors who were propping him up so that he didn't buckle under his own weight.

"I think I can guess where you have been all night, Roma," Romulus said, his scowl deepening. "You reek of cheap alcohol and cheaper women."

"It wasn't my fault, sire," said Rome.

"So, someone forced you to drink yourself half to death and then dragged you to every brothel in the city?"

Rome shifted on his feet under the look Romulus gave him. To think, the human before him was so young and yet he carried himself with a paternalistic air which made the scene resemble an angry father scolding a disobedient son.

"Your reckless behavior is making our kingdom a laughingstock, Roma," Romulus continued. "The other tribes and kingdoms ridicule us enough as it is. You need to stop acting like a child and take some responsibility."

"It's not as easy as you make it sound," Rome retorted defensively. "I spend most of my time alone, working on city plans. And, when I'm not doing that, I'm surrounded by young, single, bored men who talk me into joining them for outings like last night."

"Hmph, I suppose I can concede that point. After all, the wildness I've seen from you seems to be common among my citizens." Romulus began to pace. "It's become an increasing detriment to the stability and future of this kingdom. Too many men are not settled and running households, as they should be by now. There do not appear to be nearly enough families."

"Considering how few respectable women there are in this city, is that so surprising?" Rome said idly. "There are probably twenty unmarried men to every one unmarried woman."

Romulus froze mid-step and he turned to look at Rome in astonished realization.

"Roma, that is it!" he exclaimed.

"What is 'it'?" said Rome in confusion.

"The answer to our problems. We need to get wives."

Rome blinked at his king a few times, glanced over at the equally perplexed guards, and then turned back to Romulus.

"Huh?"

"Jupiter-dammit," Romulus exclaimed as he tossed away another letter from a local tribe refusing to send their daughters to marry 'smelly, crude, and uncivilized Romans.' "That's the twelfth rejection letter this week. You'd think these fools didn't want their daughters married."

"Actually, sire, I'm sure they do want their daughters married," said Rome. "Just not to us. You have to admit we haven't given them a very good impression."

"What do you mean, Roma?"

"Well, you did establish me by committing an act of murder against your own brother over something as stupid as naming rights."

"Would you rather have been named 'Reme,' then?"

"Not to mention what our recent immigrant population looks like," Rome continued, ignoring the question. "Most of our citizens are impoverished younger sons with few prospects, debtors and criminals seeking asylum, foreigners from non-Italian nations, and former slaves. To be honest, I think this is going to be a pointless venture."

"So, you want to give up because a few jumped-up tribes think they are better than we are? I am a son of Mars, and I do not accept this!"

Rome rolled his eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long night's work planning how to win the Roman men some wives. He wasn't particularly optimistic about his own chances for finding a bride. There weren't that many female tribes around, and, of those that did exist, they were mostly kept hidden away by their fathers and brothers. Frankly, Rome did not particularly wish to get married, anyway. He liked his free and unrestricted lifestyle.

Although, it did sound nice, the thought of someone being there when he got home. Someone to take care of him and keep his house in order, considering how, like most young men, Rome hadn't the faintest notion when it came to household management. However, Rome was a bit of a fool when it came to pretty women – he'd seen that woman, Greece, when she came to check on her colonies, but she barely spared Rome a passing glance no matter how he fell over himself trying to get her attention. He'd even tried to write Greece some love poems, as he heard she liked fancy writing and stuff – that is, he tried, until he remembered he was illiterate.

No, Rome did not do well when it came to women – at least, not with women he couldn't pay to enjoy his company.

Rome had never seen a celebration like what Romulus had planned before. Games and races and singing and dancing and copious amounts of food and drink (the very last of which Romulus had forbidden Rome from partaking of). All of this was done, ostensibly, to celebrate the festival of Neptune Equester.

In reality, Romulus had a much more devious motive for throwing this lavish gala and welcoming the large contingents of neighboring tribes, who were always keen to get free food and a show. The most substantial group of visitors were their closest neighbors, the Sabines.

Rome had to appreciate the beauty and elegance of the Sabine women as they walked past him, separated from their male relatives to sit together, set apart from the debauched revelry of the men. Behind him, he heard some of his human associates talking about the women and picking out which ones they liked best. Rome was about to turn and tell them to shut their mouths or they'd ruin the plan when his attention was caught by a figure among the throng of women.

Being a personification, Rome was more attuned to detecting entities like himself. And, as soon as he saw her, with her delicate, dark locks pulled up in a bun and woven with flowers and her glimmering hazel eyes, Rome wanted nothing more than to take her home and buy her nice things. It seemed a crime to him that such a beautiful nation should be garbed in such plain, simple clothing and not given fine linens and golden bracelets. Rome knew, then, what his future would hold and he offered up silent thanks to Venus Genetrix for delivering this gift to him. His heart began to race and his palms became sweaty from anticipation of what he knew was to transpire at this event.

He would have her. It was fate. It was the will of the gods, themselves.

Yes, he would have this tribe for his wife. And he would build an eternal kingdom for her and she would never want for anything. He would place a ring on her finger and a crown upon her head.

He watched her throughout the feast. He wasn't sure if she could feel him watching her, but he wouldn't be surprised if she did. He kept her continuously under his gaze so that he would be ready when Romulus gave the signal. He would not have any misguided humans attempt to make off with his prize.

Time seemed to crawl by at an agonizing pace, but, finally, the men of the visiting tribal parties reached such a point of inebriation that any move to retaliate against the Romans would have been laughable. Rome glanced to where his king sat and saw him smile and rise to his feet.

"My dear friends," he proclaimed. "It has been an honor and a pleasure to have you here with us today. I trust that this day will go down in history as a moment where so many different tribes and peoples were able to come together under the bonds of friendship…and kinship. We Romans may seem different to you, our neighbors, but we are not so strange to you, especially now. I believe it is in our mutual interest that our bonds be tied permanently, and that we shall be, from this day on, one people."

That was the cue. And the formerly amicable and pleasant acknowledgements of Romulus's speech from the visiting men turned to shock, anger, and terror as the Roman men surged upon the area where the women were seated. Rome, himself, felt as if he wore the winged sandals of Mercury as he flew towards the object of his desire. He was deaf to the shrieks of the human girls as they were thrown over the shoulders of their soon-to-be-husbands and carried off into the night while their fathers and brothers staggered about in a vain bid to rescue them.

It was clear the Sabine tribe now knew she was being hunted as she ducked and dodged around the rush and press of the crowd. As poised and graceful as she was, she was also as lithe and fleet as the goddess Diana running through her woodland realm or the Arcadian princess Atalanta racing her would-be suitors from the legends the Greek traders told. But, if she was Atalanta in this moment, then Rome was surely Hippomenes – though he, unfortunately, didn't have any golden apples to throw to distract her and had to rely purely on his own athletic prowess.

There was a peculiar thrill as he caught up to her, having narrowly dodged a punch to the face from one of her men and an attempted tackle from a fellow Roman who had assumed Rome's quarry to be a human woman and wanted to try for her, himself. It was a feeling of triumph and he was nearly drunk on the high of that rush. He caught her in his arms, drawing a furious shout from the little vixen, and hoisted her over his shoulder as his fellows did with their own chosen brides, pointedly ignoring as she kicked and flailed and screamed curses at him.

It amazed Rome how everything seemed to go off without a hitch. He decided he should listen to his king's advice more often.

"Perverted bastard!"

Rome ducked as his bride-to-be flung another vase at his head. This had been going on for about a week since the "carrying off" of the women from the festival. As soon as the Roman men had gotten their desired brides, they'd chucked out the fathers and brothers and bolted the city gates. However, their new Sabine wives were not exactly happy about being abducted and forced into marriage and the Roman husbands-to-be had to learn quickly that wooing respectable women into marrying them was not the same as trying to bed whores in the local brothels.

Considering the fact that the Sabine women shut themselves into separate quarters and refused to come out, let alone permit their abductors to touch them, the Roman men were beginning to grumble about missing the casual and easy affections of the prostitutes.

The only man in Rome who seemed to have had any luck with his bride was Romulus, who had taken a Sabine noblewoman as his wife. Actually, from what Rome had heard, Hersilia had realized fairly quickly what was going to happen at the party and had seized Romulus and carried him off before he could go for another woman – as there was no way a distinguished lady such as herself would settle for anything less than a king and she wasn't going to lose Romulus to, say, the Sabine princess Tatia.

"You had better not touch me," Sabine snarled at Rome as he cowered under a table. "My parents are Umbria and Osca, and they will not stand for this act of abduction! My father will have your head for what you've done and my brothers will hang your carcass from your own city gates!"

"Sweetling," Rome said, trying not to sound pleading. "Nightingale. Amica mea. Please, listen to me."

"Stop calling me pet names, you lout!"

It was into this pleasant scene of domestic bliss that Romulus entered. The king of Rome shot his nation an unamused look, to which Rome could only shrug before having to dodge another vase thrown at his head by the lovely Sabine.

"All is going well, I see," Romulus said in a dry tone.

Sabine rounded on him with a heated glare and pointed at him in accusation.

"You!" she shouted. "This is your doing, bastard spawn of a she-wolf! Return me and my women to our tribe, or so help me-!"

"Charming," Romulus said evenly. He turned back to his nation. "Roma, perhaps it would be best if you step out for a minute and I will have a few words with your…intended."

"I am nobody's intended!" Sabine retorted as Rome took the opportunity to scuttle out of the room.

"My dear lady, I apologize that you and your womenfolk had to be brought here under such circumstances, but it was the result of urgent necessity."

"Necessity?! We were carried off by your savage men and ordered to marry them, whether we wanted to or not! Gods alone know what vile acts of brutality have been inflicted on my poor women."

Romulus did not feel it necessary to mention that actual incidents of sexual assault against the Sabine women were few enough to be practically nonexistent – and the few men who were caught forcing themselves on their new brides were severely punished according to Roman law. While it might have been a reasonable argument against what Sabine had said, Romulus had a feeling it would just have infuriated her even more.

"I assure you, my good woman," Romulus said with a level of patience unexpected from a purported son of the god of war. "You and the women of your tribe shall be well-treated here. I understand we Romans have not had the most pleasant reputation amongst our neighbors, but we are far from the savage brutes you believe us to be."

"I do not care for your excuses," Sabine raged. "I demand that you set us free, at once!"

"I am afraid that is quite impossible for several reasons. Firstly, my men and I have put so much planning and effort into this endeavor and risked so much to ensure the posterity of this city that releasing you and your womenfolk would likely result in a full-scale uprising and likely destroy this city."

"That's your problem, she-wolf's bastard!"

"Secondly," Romulus continued as if she hadn't interrupted. "If I did try to release you all and the inevitable riot takes place, you and your women would still be trapped inside the city as it burned with none of the protection my laws have afforded you all against being forced into your captors' beds."

Sabine paled a bit and remained silent as the weight of the consequences sunk in.

"Lastly," said Romulus. "Even if I did release you and sent you all home to your fathers and brothers, what do you think their reactions would be to receiving women who have been kept in the homes of men they were not married to?"

The dire implications of that last point were very clear to Sabine. While she, herself, would be safe, the matter of family honor was such that many of her women could be put to death on their fathers' mere suspicions that their virginities were compromised by their captors. At the very least, the Sabine girls who had been captured would not have particularly good marriage prospects when they returned home, which might as well be a death sentence for some of the poorer girls who would not have means of financial support when their fathers died.

"But, I propose a solution to this," said Romulus after a lengthy pause as Sabine mentally digested the seriousness of the situation. "I cannot force you or any of the Sabine women to marry the men of this city. That decision lies with you Sabines, alone. But, if you do consent to wed, I promise you and your women all the rights and legal standing of citizens' wives. You shall have control over your own property and a certain degree of civic privileges.

"And, answer me this, Sabine: Would it truly be so terrible for you to be married to Roma? Is he that repulsive to you in appearance, manner, or temperament?"

Sabine thought on the awkward but quite attractive young man who had done nothing but try to make her comfortable and happy since he abducted her and locked her in his house. He wasn't a bad man, really. Brash, insensitive, a shameless skirt-chaser, and a bit of a clueless dolt, certainly, but not the vile, despicable cad she had initially taken him to be. It didn't excuse his behavior – not by any means – and Sabine doubted she would ever forgive him for placing her in this position…still, she couldn't bring herself to outright reject the proposal.

Would it really be so bad being married to Rome? He was a bit rough around the edges and painfully uncultured, but it was nothing a bit of nagging and a few more blunt objects thrown at him couldn't fix. He wasn't even bad-looking, either – definitely a right sight better than a few of the other tribes who had courted Sabine in the past. His reputation with women was disconcerting, but not really out of the ordinary for men of the region.

It grated on Sabine's natural obstinacy to just submit without putting up more resistance, but, honestly, how much of a choice did she really have? Her women would more than likely agree once Romulus spoke to them as he had to her – they simply did not have the same leeway that Sabine, herself, did and would prefer to take their chances with becoming respectable wives and mothers than risking whatever might happen to them back home once tongues started wagging about whether their honor was tainted. Sabine might be able to turn Rome down, but she couldn't just abandon her womenfolk to this strange, new life.

"Take some time to think on it," said Romulus as he turned to leave. "Maybe speak with Roma without throwing objects at his head. He's probably hiding in his garden right now."

Rome was, indeed, in the garden at the heart of the villa. He was sitting on a bench by a little pool of water under the shade of some large, leafy trees.

Sabine had to admit that it was strange seeing her abductor looking so calm and contemplative. There was an unspoken gentleness to the rugged and impetuous youth who had carried her off so unceremoniously. Silently, Sabine sat down beside him on the bench. He tensed for a moment, but, on realizing she wasn't going to hit him over the head with another vase, began to relax again.

"We were never properly introduced," Rome said at last. "I am Gaius Valerius Romanus, the city of Rome. What is your name?"

It was such an innocent question, as if they were two children meeting for the first time and shyly giving their names before playing a game of knucklebones or throwing a ball around.

"I am Clodia Aemilia Sabina," said Sabine. "I am the tribe of the Sabines."

Rome smiled at her in such a guileless, cheerful way that it made something tickle in her stomach. They sat in silence for a while, stealing glances at each other before looking away awkwardly.

"Why me?" Sabine asked. "Why did you take me?"

"Because…" Rome said quietly. "Because I was tired of being alone. Because I saw you and the world stopped moving. Because I knew, in an instant, that I wanted nothing more than to give you everything you could ever want."

As flattering as his words were, Sabine was not going to be won over so easily.

"If we were married," she said. "There would be some conditions which I would expect you to honor."

"Name them," said Rome with obvious eagerness.

"Firstly, you will respect my word in this house. I will oversee the running of all domestic duties and all household slaves and servants must answer to me as they would to you. I will have all the rights and privileges of a domina or I will have nothing to do with either you or this house."

"Agreed."

"Secondly, you will honor my position as your wife. I understand that you have some…habits of indulging in the company of less distinguished women. I doubt you would agree to curbing your proclivities, or else you would end up breaking such a promise if you did, so I will not begrudge you your extramarital activities provided that you never, ever give any other female nation status over me. If I am to be your wife, I will be treated as such and not have my place in this household usurped by someone else."

"That seems more than fair."

"Thirdly, you will keep me in a lifestyle of comfort. I understand that your kingdom is still new and we will have to make some more frugal choices now, but, once your economy is more stabilized and prosperous, I expect to have some luxuries."

"I promise you, my Sabina, you will be arrayed like a queen."

Sabine huffed and tried to stifle the blush spreading across her cheeks.

"Finally," she said, "I want you to begin educating yourself. I refuse to be married to someone who does not intend to better himself and learn things like reading, writing, arts, and sciences. That woman, Greece, has been flaunting her achievements for long enough and I want to be part of something that will outshine her in the intellectual sphere."

Rome actually paused uncertainly on that one. He had always been more of an action-loving man than a scholar. He had respect for those who were educated and relied on them to help his city develop, but he'd never considered edifying himself. Still, if it would make Sabine happy, Rome was willing to give learning a try.

"All right," he said. "For you, and only for you, I'll start studying."

Sabine nodded and the two of them sat in companionable silence as the sun set in the distance, casting a vibrant array of oranges, pinks, and purples across the sky.

"And that is how I wooed my Sabina into becoming my wife," Rome said with an oblivious grin while Germania and Thrace stared at him in abject disbelief. "It all turned out perfectly…until her father and brothers started picking fights with me to try and get her back."

"Let me guess," Germania said dryly. "You 'kicked all their stupid asses and got blind drunk,' right?"

"Yes…sort of…not exactly." Rome rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sabina and all her women marched onto the battlefield and started waving children in everyone's faces, called us all a 'bunch of insensitive, widow-making jackasses,' and made us all put our weapons down. Sabina kept pinching my ear until I signed a peace agreement with her family and apologized and then smacked her brothers around for ransacking Capitoline Hill."

"I see." Germania exchanged a wary glance with Thrace, who just had his usual expression of wanting to beat Rome over the head with a stick. "And your loving marital bond is…as strong as ever?"

Rome pouted and crossed his arms.

"I do not understand why she is so mad," he grumbled. "It's not like I did anything wrong! She said she didn't mind my having dalliances with other women."

"All your Roman women say they don't mind when their husbands are unfaithful," said Germania. "But they do mind. Literally, every woman minds when her husband sleeps around."

"Oh, Germania," Rome said, shaking his head in a pitying way, his tone dripping with condescension. He often did this when Germania expressed his Germanic view of the world, as if Germania was little more than a naïve child – a sentiment which Germania found grating for any number of reasons. "You poor, simple, innocent soul. Men having sex with more than one person is just the natural order of things. It is our way as men to conquer as much as we can, both in land and in lovers."

Germania's face could have been carved from stone and Thrace just looked a bit cross-eyed.

Thrace was no stranger to polyamorous relationships – his people were a bit promiscuous and did not have much in the way of restrictions on sexual expression, and having multiple spouses or sexual partners was not only expected but encouraged – but the way Rome described sex as conquest left him somewhat dazed. Germania, in contrast, found loose sexual behavior to be very distasteful as the various Germanic peoples were largely monogamous and frowned on extramarital activities – Germania was the only one of the personifications from his homeland to have more than one wife, which he only did as he was the equivalent of a high chieftain among his people (he had two wives, Suebi and Teuton, – the latter of whom was dead – and one concubine, the tribe of Veleti).

"Be that as it may," Thrace said after he cleared his thoughts. "Perhaps the domina's anger is not directed at the fact that you had sex with another woman, but at the specific woman you slept with."

Rome tilted his head in confusion.

"I do not follow you," he said.

"He means she's angry that you went to bed with Egypt," said Germania. "Of all the nations, you had to take that woman to bed."

"What's wrong with Egypt?!"

"Have you even paid the least bit of attention to the mess her government is in right now? How about the rising bankruptcy Egypt has been facing?"

"No wonder Sabine is so angry," said Thrace. "She's worried Egypt will get her hooks in you and convince you to put your wife aside in favor of her."

"What?" said Rome. "Don't say such ridiculous things. My wife and I may have our problems, but there's not a chance that I'd ever let anyone take her place. Even someone as attractive as Egypt…or Greece…or Pontus."

Neither Germania nor Thrace looked convinced. While neither of them had met Egypt, they knew of her by reputation; she was an ancient empire twice as old as Greece and was not handling her days of declining power very well. Sabine had barely tolerated Greece's presence in the household, as the woman held no authority outside of tutoring the younger residents of the palace and of being Rome's 'female companion' to events that respectable married women like Sabine wouldn't be caught dead at. Pontus also remained in Sabine's good graces due only to her circumstances – she was a recent addition to the empire as a client kingdom, incredibly bitter about losing to Rome, and kept insisting that Rome couldn't sleep with her because she was a tributary and not a slave and she was already happily married to Bithynia.

But Rome messing around with Egypt was just asking for trouble.

Germania and Thrace said nothing. No matter how hard they tried to dissuade Rome from such a colossally bad idea, the lusty fool would do whatever he wanted without considering how it would affect others. Sabine, it seemed, was the first of Rome's 'romances' doomed by his own selfishness and poor forethought. Germania and Thrace felt sorry for Sabine and the pain Rome would inevitably put her through with his latest dalliance and they only hoped he didn't take it too far.

The last thing this household needed was to be split apart because Rome couldn't keep his toga on.

Author's Note: Yep. Grandpa Rome had a wife that he got via kidnapping. And here's where I start singing the song "Sobbin' Women" from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers which was based on the Roman legend of the "Rape of the Sabine Women" (with 'rape' meaning 'carrying off' not 'sexual assault').

Having Romulus's wife Hersilia be the one to abduct him, rather than the other way around, is just my little creative twist on what happened. Romulus seems to have had the fewest problems sorting out the whole forced marriage deal, considering he instantly conceded to Hersilia when she begged him not to kill the Sabine men when they tried to take the women back and how Hersilia was transformed into a goddess when Romulus ascended to be a god because the goddess Juno was so moved by Hersilia's tears when she thought her husband was dead that she allowed Hersilia to stay with Romulus forever. Romulus was also able to convince the Sabine women to marry their kidnappers by promising them civic and property rights and assuring them that the marriages would only take place with the women's consent.

Romans actually had strict laws against rape, and rapists often met with severe punishment. Of course, these laws only extended to free people. Slaves were not protected against sexual assault, unless the attack was done by someone other than their masters – in which case, it depended on if their masters cared enough to sue for "property damage."

If Rome comes across as a bit of an asshole, bear in mind that his views are actually a watered-down and somewhat less asinine version of the mindset of Roman society (which was heavily focused on men sticking their dicks into just about anything to prove how manly they were – as long as it wasn't someone else's wife or a freeborn boy, which were big no-nos).

For those who don't know, Thrace makes up what is largely modern-day Bulgaria.

The Romans found Germans to be strange as they were not big on loose sexual behavior. Also, the Romans thought it was weird that the Germans didn't really let forty-something-year-old men marry twelve-year-old girls like the rest of the Roman world did – 'shockingly,' the Germans figured it was better to have men and women get married in their late teens to mid-twenties…which thus prompts basically every Mediterranean culture to just stare blankly as the concept fails to register.

We also see hints of a future chapter I'm going to write about Rome's misadventures with Egypt (in other words, how Rome screws up his marriage even more by doing exactly the opposite of what he said he would). Three guesses which Egyptian ruler is going to be responsible for these shenanigans.