*Repost*

I was surprised by how a lot wanted this to continue. Shishou and Kuzuki sensei are mighty indeed!

On we go, to spread the saga of Mr. Hardboiled!

Something flashed before my eyes, rousing me from my nauseous slumber.

[Emergency Quest: Get 'Gay-ed' by the Demonic Piggy!]

[Escape or survive long enough! Hopefully, you'll not lose your anal virgin to its tusks! Hopefully. LOL.]

[Do you want to admit defeat and get the bestiary CG?] [Y/N]

"...Fuck."

And to think that this was the first thing I saw when I woke up with a splitting headache.

I vaguely recalled what happened.

"Right. Gamer. Gacha. Land of Shadows. In the ROOT. I hate my life."

A low and menacing snort was heard, right behind my back. A putrid breath assaulted my nostrils.

Without turning around, I reached behind and patted its snout. It was wet...and slick.

I didn't know what it was. I didn't want to know.

So, I started running.

The thing squealed and charged.

...

...

By the way, did you know that Diarmuid was skewered by a damn pig?

Yeah, the Irish demigod and first knight of Fionna was run through by the tusk of a demonic boar. Not exactly a flattering death, and definitely not one filled with glory, I know.

You can see that when that fucking boar in question was after your fucking ass like some sex-crazed deviant after a whore.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"...How troubling. (SHUT UP WILL YOU!?)"

A screen popped up beside my face, highlighting a skill that was activated.

[Roleplaying: EX]

[Gamer is unable to act in a way that is unbecoming Kuzuki from the canon timeline when under the observation of others.]

Apparently, a demon pig also counted as others. How fucking gracious of it. The system was all for non-human rights, it seemed.

The only reason I was still alive is due to the fact that we were in a gloomy-ass forest aka obstacle course, albeit one filled with dreary gray fog and infested with wraiths or whatever they are called.

At least the miasma and the ghosts weren't actively trying to end my sorry life. What is wrong with this iron-furred boar anyway? Was it that territorial?!

Another charge from the pig forced me to roll between the roots of several large trees that looked like steel spears thrust together in the shape of a Christmas tree.

The wood exploded outwards and splinters showered down onto my head like a rain of needles. The trees groaned and fell to the ground with an earthshaking crash.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

That only served to make the pig even more outraged.

Shaking its head to get rid of the wood, the pig directed its beady gold eyes at me. An ominous light flared up in its irises as its muscles began to twitch and bulge.

Tendrils of blue lightning ran across the forest floor and ignited the mountains of fallen leaves on the dry soil. The fire grew rapidly and created a raging circle of arcane flame around us.

According to my status, I had no mana. That meant no magic circuits. Which also meant zero resistance against arcane substances.

I was royally fucked.

"...You trapped me in. (Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh sweet mother of Jesus holly tits-)"

Despite my internal panic, the skill did a remarkable job of making me act calm and collected, which was a good thing since intelligent beasts are known to exploit weaknesses in one's mental fortitude.

Seeing no other way out, I took the stance of the Snake, my assassination martial style.

The pig pawed the ground and lowered its snout to the ground. Its beady eyes stared at me, full of fury and hate.

A few seconds of silence passed. None of us moved.

Then, the pig burst forward. It seemed to shrink the space between us as it effortlessly traversed a distance in a fraction of a millisecond. A huge cloud of debris erupted behind its hind legs as its entire body sizzled with white hot currents of electricity -the tusks a mere inch away from my chest.

It was only the knowledge of how straightforward its charge was that saved my life. Timing my fist so that it was situated in the exact middle of the boar's forehead, I let the rest of the boar's momentum do its work.

While it was true that I had no mana whatsoever, the Status sheet I glimpsed earlier suggested that my talent in martial arts was at least one in a million, if not a billion.

[Perfect Breathing: EX]

[The ideal form of breathing and walking techniques that could only be attained by a selected few through gruesome training. On this level, the user is in the realm of those who naturally possess the ability to replicate potent thaumaturgy through simple martial arts.]

In other words, I am capable of reaching the realm of True Magic through Martial Prowess alone.

My breathing was so perfect to the extent that my martial arts itself were elevated to the realm of True Magic, much like a certain farmer who invented a sword art that cut through multi-dimensional plains just to kill a fucking swallow.

One punch. One strike. One move. In one single fluid motion.

My arms ensnared its head in the nanosecond of breathing space I had; one punch to its forehead to staple it to the ground, one strike to its temple to pulverize its brain, and one move to wrap my arm around its neck in a choke hold.

Of course, this came at a very high price.

The first punch burst apart my muscles and destroyed the bones in my hand. The second strike with my elbow resulted in the shredding of my shoulder blade and the snapping of my kneecap. The third grapple resulted in me tearing apart the right side of my organs and destroying the rest of what was still attached to my arm.

I knew that this was a gamble that, if failed, would result in my certain demise. If the fatal injuries didn't get me first, that is.

The pig wobbled on its four legs with its eyes glazed over. If I could hold on, it would at least buy me enough time to make it unconscious. I mustn't let go.

But you see...blood was slippery. Terrifyingly so.

And I had a lot of it gushing from my wounds.

The boar reared its head. My body flew through the air like a ragdoll thrown by a giant. The winds howled in my ears as I soared across the canopy of the dark forest.

I was losing too much blood, and if I were to land in this critical state, it would kill me. Damn it.

Gritting my teeth, I curled into a ball and prepared for impact. I prayed for someone, anyone to help me. I was too young to die. I didn't want to end up as a blob of flesh on the rocks. Not like this...

And suddenly, I was no longer flying. I was gently caught in the arms of someone. It was soft. A woman?

My head was spinning and one of my eyes was closed from the blood. I felt delirious and lightheaded, as if drunk.

Crimson red eyes stared down at me, filled with an emotion unknown. Her lips twitched upwards and revealed her canines which glinted in the moonlight. Her dark purple hair danced in the harsh cold breeze.

"...Beautiful.", I mumbled.

It was the last thing I said before my eyes rolled over, and everything went black.

[Bond Level Unlocked]

Scathach Lv.0➡1/15 (10% till next level)

Scathach loves talented warriors and all that, and our boy has definitely made quite an impression! Poor, poor SI Kuzuki...Oneshota is on the horizon!

Btw, did you know that chastity isn't in the dictionary of Celtic warriors? Marriage? Yeah...the cheating is so commonplace it is funny. Scathach? You do know that she had a sexual relationship with her favorite pupils, including Ferdiad and Cu, don't you? It's in the lore!

Wow...the differences between Greek myths are hilarious! Zeus would fit in well. Poor Kuzuki...lol.

Please review and all that good stuff.

X-kalibuuuur, exhausted.