faintblueivy asked:

First of all, let me tell you that I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR RENRUKI FANWORK! I've read all of your work in two days (except portions of foxes cause I'm not ready to read Byakuya dead) and enjoyed every bit of it!

Just saw the Rukia birthday event and wondered if you would be willing to write something Ichigo and Rukia discussing her feelings about Renji. I mean we have always seen it the other way round in canon.

It could preferably be set on her birthday being celebrated in living world and Orihime and Renji are together fooding away? Because I adore RenHime friendship. Renji genuinely seems like an older brother figure for everyone but Rukia.

It's just something I want to read from your POV.

And it's completely fine if you don't want to write this. And thank you!

I did it almost entirely according to your specifications, except I decided to set it just after the Fullbringer arc instead of Rukia's birthday, just because I feel like this is a very juicy time for Renruki feelings. (This is, in some ways, a companion to Confession is Good for the Soul, a short piece I wrote about Renji's feelings in the days leading up to the Fullbringer arc, and it contains a lot of allusions to my big series, the Heart is a Muscle, including some things that haven't actually happened yet). Hope you like it!

It was strange to be back in a gigai.

It was strange to be back in human clothes, her uncomfortably corporeal nose filling with the overwhelming smell of human food cooking in the next room.

It was not strange to be back in Orihime's apartment. That was just nice.

Ichigo leaned over. "I feel like we should be helping," he hissed into her ear.

"Our job is of the utmost importance," Rukia replied quietly. "We eat the food and critique it, bearing witness to the skill of the cooks."

Ichigo rolled his head around to regard her with half-lidded eyes. "Well, I guess that answers the question of how stuff with Byakuya is going."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rukia sniffed. "My relationship with my brother is perfect."

"It's been a year and a half," Ichigo protested. "How am I supposed to know what's going on with you?" He paused. "But that's cool that you've been getting along."

"A year and a half is a very long time for humans, but it is barely a hiccup in Soul Society," Rukia announced loftily. "I am surprised that you don't yet seem to have a career of any sort, or own any real estate."

"I don't care if you want to pretend you didn't miss me," Ichigo jabbed a finger at her, "but don't pull that crap when Inoue can hear you. She was super excited when she found out you were visiting."

"I never said I didn't miss you," Rukia crossed her arms.

Ichigo snorted. "It's good to see you, too."

Rukia hadn't actually expected she would get to see Ichigo for a while. Lieutenants generally didn't go on routine patrol missions, and leisure passes to the World of the Living had been especially hard to come by since the Winter War ended. It was okay, in Rukia's opinion. Ichigo had his powers back, and he was no longer in danger from those Fullbringer menaces. She could see him sooner or later, and that was good enough for her.

Then, Ichigo unceremoniously interrupted a captain's meeting to demand the return of Ginjou Kugou's body, and Rukia and Renji had both been rather abruptly granted three days of leave each, complete with senkaimon privileges. Captain Ukitake had told Rukia that he had specially wrangled the passes for her so she could go see her friends in the Living World and catch up. Friendship was important, he said, and also she'd been working so hard and doing such a good job, she deserved a break. This would have been much more convincing if Byakuya hadn't tossed Renji's own leave slip on his desk and muttered "The Captain Commander would like you to go make sure that Kurosaki Ichigo isn't still mad at him."

Rukia wasn't entirely sure if Ichigo was mad or not, but if her suspicions were correct, making Orihime happy was still a fast track for getting into Ichigo's good graces. Ichigo wasn't exaggerating about her enthusiasm-they had been in the Living World for all of three hours, and Orihime had somehow organized a mini, three-course dinner party, including pressing Renji into service as her sous chef.

"Oh, NO!" Orihime's devastated voice suddenly rang from the tiny kitchenette, where she must be sitting on Renji's shoulders, because that's the only possible way that both of them could fit in there at the same time.

Ichigo sprang to his feet. "Inoue! What is it? Do you need help? Are you bleeding?"

Rukia rolled her eyes.

Orihime appeared in the doorway, a plastic tub clutched in her hands, her lower lip trembling. "I am out of miso! I should have checked beforehand, but it's miso, how could I possibly have run out?"

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "Can't you substitute something else? Fish…sauce?"

"Feh," Renji scoffed, appearing behind Orihime. "Orihime's making you her very special Grilled Egg and Eggplant sandwiches, and you are telling her to make substitutions."

"Grilled Eggplant and Egg," Orihime corrected cheerfully. "The miso is just for the special dipping sauce, I have some okonomiyaki mayo in the fridge that would probably do."

"Sauce is important!" Renji protested. "Rukia loves sauce!"

"I do love sauce," Rukia murmured.

"We could text Chad? Or Ishida? I'm sure they could pick up some miso on their way over?" Ichigo suggested.

"Well, I sort of need it soon, and Sado-kun is working this afternoon and I think Ishida-kun might be at his father's…" Orihime waffled, clearly trying to make this Not a Big Deal.

"Rukia!" Renji barked, pointing his wooden spoon at her. "You have to go to a Human Grocery Store! They are very confusing, but I know you can do it! I have confidence in you!"

"I'm literally right here," Ichigo pointed out. "Me. A human."

"I would go, but I have to help brine the eggplant!" Renji strode over, holstering his spoon into the string of the apron he was wearing. He had clearly borrowed the apron from Orihime, as it was printed with smiling avocados and about eight inches too short. He grabbed Rukia by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "It will be in the 'Refrigerated Section', which will probably be on the edge of the store, the side or the back. It will come in a little tub. It comes in two kinds, red or white, well, there's also mixed. Orihime! Which one do you need?"

"Oh, I usually buy mixed, but either would do."

"You know how to use human money, right?"

"Of course I know how to use human money, dummy," Rukia replied.

"Right, of course you do. I apologize."

"Also, I know how to use human money," Ichigo loudly interrupted, "also I know where the miso is and also I know where the grocery store is. Come on, Rukia!" He turned back to Orihime and his entire aspect immediately softened. "Don't worry, we'll be back in a flash."

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun, let me give you some money, please!" Orihime begged.

"Nah, you're making dinner, I got it," Ichigo winked at her.

"If you can't find the refrigerated section," Renji said under his breath, glaring at Ichigo out of the corner of his eye, "just walk around until you start to feel cold."

"I'll figure it out," Rukia replied, gently removing his hands from her shoulders. "Go help bribe your eggplants."

"Renji sure is having a normal one," Ichigo commented, as they descended the steps of Orihime's apartment complex. "Or is this just how he is now?"

Rukia sucked her teeth. "He's been a little off this week, to be honest. I think he's just happy to see you."

"Is that what you think?" Ichigo asked, incredulously.

Rukia shrugged noncommittally. It certainly wouldn't be the first time that Renji acted like a buffoon because he got too overwhelmed by his own feelings. At least that's what she'd been telling herself, in order to avoid considering the alternative.

Just a few days before she got the message from Urahara that he wanted to talk to her about Ichigo's powers, Renji had asked her if she'd hold her Saturday open for him. He wanted to take her to dinner, he said. They went to dinner all the time. It was honestly a little out-of-character for him to ask so far ahead of time, but something about it felt different than usual. Of course, they had ended up spending Saturday running around, getting people to put their reiatsu in Urahara's special sword. She tried to bring it up, but Renji had just snorted at her and said this was more important. Rukia had literally been in the middle of composing a reply to his text about rescheduling when Captain Ukitake walked in with her leave orders, and by the time she looked at her phone again, Renji had texted "Never mind, I guess! [laughing face]"

The weirdness probably had nothing to do with that. Rukia hoped the weirdness didn't have anything to do with that.

"I didn't even know he could cook," Ichigo went on, puzzled. "Can he, or is he just blowing smoke?"

"Renji's a great cook," Rukia defended.

"That's so weird," Ichigo frowned. "I would not have guessed that in, like, a million years."

"It's new," Rukia jerked her chin at him. "He had to learn for a deep cover mission we got sent on about a year ago, which, incidentally, is why he's such an expert on Living World grocery retail facilities-"

" 'An expert'," Ichigo echoed.

Rukia ignored him. "Anyway, he's finally got a place with a kitchen, so he kept up with it. Do not tell Byakuya I said this- I know that our chefs are the finest in Soul Society and whatnot, but they do not understand sauces, they will give you, like, a teaspoon of some artistically swirled goo. Renji knows how much sauce goes on a thing, and then he makes about five times that much, because he knows how much sauce I like on a thing."

Ichigo gave her a long, hard look, his eyebrows furrowing together. It occurred to Rukia how much his face had changed in a year and a half. She wouldn't quite call him a man, but certainly he wasn't a child anymore. He had sideburns now.

"What?" she demanded.

"So, you guys are cool, then?" Ichigo asked, his voice strangely guarded.

Rukia wrinkled her nose. "Of course we're cool! How is this a question? I would say we are probably the coolest out of all the Vice-Captains. I got a tattoo, you know. Renji got, like, six tattoos."

Ichigo closed his eyes and puffed out a huge breath. "I honestly forgot what a pain the rear it is to say anything to you. "Are. You. And. Renji. Getting. Along?" he bit off.

"What kind of question is that?" Rukia demanded. "Of course we 'get along'! He my- we're-" Somehow, declaring Renji her best friend (which, of course, he was) seemed strangely infantile, and inadequate to boot. "We're cool," she muttered. "Why would you even ask?"

Ichigo stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Well, you guys didn't talk to each other for, like, ninety years or something, right?"

"It was forty."

"And I know you were all, 'We got the band back together!' and 'Look at our matching capes!' the last time I saw you, but…well…I dunno. I've never broken up with someone for three hundred years before, it seems like it might be a little harder than that to get back together, 'sall."

"It. Was. Forty. And we did not break up." Rukia was silent for a moment. "'Breaking up' implies there was something to break up."

"Oh!"

"'Oh!'? What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I always thought you guys were… what-do-you-call-it? Childhood sweethearts?"

"That is the grossest phrase I have ever heard. I never want to hear you say that again."

"Rukia, I have heard you use at least six phrases grosser than that to describe my closet, which, I may remind you, you profess to love."

"My relationship with your closet is complicated."

"Apparently, your relationship with everyone is complicated, because I definitely had the impression from Renji that you two used to smooch or whatever."

"I never said we hadn't smooched! You can smooch people you aren't in a relationship with! And he told you that? I'm going to take away his matching cape privileges."

"Look, forget I said it! I just assumed it, probably because of the way he alway talks about you! I was confused, okay? It was my mistake. Don't take away the man's cape privileges, it'll break him."

"What do you mean, 'the way he always talks about' me?" Rukia asked in a small voice.

Ichigo's eyes scanned the passing store signs, like he'd forgotten where the grocery store was. "Aw, never mind. Forget I said anything."

"No!" Rukia protested. "What? Is it anything like the way you talk about Orihime?"

Ichigo's head whipped around. "You know what? Probably!"

Rukia's mouth snapped shut.

Ichigo shook his head. "I'm sorry. You two just seem off, and I was worried that, like, something happened. Like you got back together and then broke up again or something."

Rukia studied the sidewalk. "No. Nothing like that happened. And I don't know why Renji is being weird. It's probably for the best that we went out. Orihime can probably talk it out of him. She's really good at that."

Ichigo looked at her again, in that unnerving, thoughtful way. "Look, I know this isn't usually a thing we do, but if you got something you wanna talk out… I mean, I'm not Inoue, but I am your friend. I don't mind listening."

Rukia kicked a pebble. "There's not really anything to talk about. Like I said. Nothing has happened."

"Is that the problem?"

"Maybe."

Ichigo scratched the tip of his nose. "Are you waiting for him to make the first move or something? That doesn't sound very much like you."

Rukia took a deep breath. "You know, I said that nothing had happened, but that's not actually true. So many things have happened! There was the war, you know that part, of course, but I made lieutenant and Brother and I got closer and Renji got his kidou ducts fixed-"

"His what?"

"And Hinamori and I became best enemies and Ikkaku's baby sister joined my squad and we went on a vacation? To the lake?"

"You went on vacation with Ikkaku's sister?"

"No, dummy, I went with Brother and Renji."

"Renji goes on your family vacations now?"

"Yes! And I can't tell you how many text messages I've sent him, or how many bowls of ramen we've eaten or how many times we got drunk on the hill out near the training fields." She sighed. "I do think about… you know… what we could have. Sometimes I want that so bad I can't stand it. But I like what we do have. It seems…greedy to ask for more, when I know all too well what it was like to not have him at all. When I'm not even sure it's what he wants." Rukia felt her cheeks burning. She wasn't sure she'd ever said so much about her feelings for Renji out loud before.

Ichigo scratched at his neck. "Well, first of all, Renji and I trained together in a cave for almost an entire day once, you really get to know a guy's heart that way."

"Yeah, yeah, he tells me this all the time, get on with it," Rukia grumbled.

"And I may not be the smartest person on the topic of romantic feelings and junk, but I do know that he cares for you a lot. If you told him you wanted a relationship and he…didn't, I don't think he'd take away your excessive sauce privileges or stop coming to Kuchiki family board game night or whatever."

"I knoooooow."

"But also, it's like you said: seventeen months in Soul Society is nothing, right? There's no hurry. I'm sure in another eight or nine hundred years, things will sort themselves out on their own."

Ichigo's inability to grasp linear time, aside, this was true. Things had changed so much in the last seventeen months, nearly all for the better, and even more in the eight months before that. Who knew what could happen in the next seventeen months? "Thanks, Ichigo," Rukia snorted. To be honest, she was feeling a little better.

"Or you could go train with him in a secret training ground, preferably while some stakes are high. Then you will know his heart, as I do."

"Oh, shut up. Speaking of which, how's it going with Orihime? Have you smooched her yet?"

"Oh, look, here we are at the grocery store!" Ichigo yelped, his voice going slightly shrill. "What was that about the refrigerator case? It's near the back of the store? Ohhhh, if only I had paid attention to Renji and his great knowledge of grocery stores!"

"I could text him," Rukia offered.

"We're back!" Rukia hollered she pulled off her shoes, Ichigo struggling in the door behind her with all the grocery bags. "I made Ichigo buy you all three kinds of miso, because you deserve them!"

"Oh, Kuchiki-san, you shouldn't have done that!" Orihime said, wiping her hands on her apron and running out to relieve Ichigo of his bags. "Shoot! Abarai-kun, can you flip the nectarines?"

"On it, boss!"

"We also bought you a cotton cheesecake because Rukia thought it looked 'luxurious', and drinks for everyone because I really should have thought to bring something in the first place," Ichigo sputtered.

Rukia quietly slipped one of the tubs of miso from the grocery bag as Ichigo and Orihime blushed and stammered at one another. "Yo," she announced herself, sauntering into the kitchen. "Think fast."

She would not have thrown a tub of miso at just anyone, especially if that someone was currently handling a hot frying pan, but she had high expectations of Renji. He caught it one handed without diverting his attention from the nectarines he was currently sauteing. "Thanks!" he replied cheerfully.

"I feel like they might be a while out there," Rukia noted. "Figured you might want to get on that sauce, so the flavors have time to…" she wiggled her fingers. "Mingle? Is that the word you use?"

"Marry," Renji corrected. "I can't believe you actually pay attention to the crap I say about cooking."

"I am usually very hungry while you are cooking, I have to pay attention to your nerd babble to keep my mind off it."

"Right," he chuckled. "Keep an eye on those nectarines for me, and tell me if the juice starts to bubble again." He started deftly peeling the plastic wrapping off of the miso. Rukia watched appreciatively. Human foodstuff wrappings could be fiendishly difficult to remove. "I do appreciate you and Ichigo running out to the store for us. You joke about the flavors marrying, but you can't substitute for time, y'know?" He grabbed a measuring spoon and plunked a hefty scoop of miso into a bowl that already contained some mysterious substances. He contemplated it for a moment, then added a second scoop. "This is Orihime's recipe," he pointed out, "but I got a feeling it's gonna know your socks off. Worth the wait, for sure."

"You know me," Rukia replied, "I've never been good at waiting. I suppose I'll trust you, though. You're usually right about these things."

the end!