Trigger warning: Psychological and minor mentions of self harm.
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"Nightmares exist outside of logic, and there's little fun to be had in explanations; they're antithetical to the poetry of fear." ― Stephen King
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The Uchiha had left his house earlier that morning, intent on avoiding both his father and his brother despite their concerned efforts.
He was numbed, and couldn't be bothered with their care. He couldn't begin to be bothered with the two of them, either. The latter was a thought that once scared him greatly when he was a few years younger. But as he'd gotten older, as he'd grown emptier, he even stopped caring about that. It was strange he even had the motivation to rouse himself before the crack of dawn and ready himself to leave, quiet as a creeping mouse, before any of his family had even woke up.
Sasuke ironically invested his minimal efforts almost entirely into avoidance behaviors. He was well aware of the unhealthy habit from years of therapy, in particular from the same cognitive behavioral therapy course his father had forced him to attend twice. Fugaku had actually gotten his hopes up the first time, even after the usual string of disappointing events Sasuke led his father and Itachi through likewise. The second time had been more of a punishment, a frustration on Fugaku's part, because Sasuke hadn't deigned to listen to any of the tips.
The past year his father had somewhat given up after hearing the same thing from multiple differing consultants. "You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped," their words taunted Sasuke's head with pierced echoes that scratched at his temples. Rage had fired up in him the last time similar words were exchanged in front of him. They all acted as though he wasn't there, even as they spoke about him whilst he was in the room.
If he passed good graded at school, then his father had no other real reason to talk to him anymore.
But Sasuke paid no heed to Iruka's lesson this day as he'd read the textbook back to front, and found a need for his head to wander to his window outside, separating him from the room, bringing momentary peace. Watching people doting round the car park brought a strange sense of quiet, and eyeing the various happenings stimulated his mind enough to distract him
He counted the passing cars on the main road, and the ones already parked. He first glazed over the brunette mother holding her likely sick child's hand as she helped them in the front seat of a silver four-seater. He took a second to observe a green-coated ant-sized figure sellotaping missing posters to lamp posts. He paused to consider the faraway poster; the writing he couldn't read and the dark brunette's face he couldn't quite see. His eye cursorily brushed over the silver vehicle reversing out a parking spot, skimming over the license plate and the inscribed name of its make-
Honda.
"Class, please turn to page 6-"
"Please, Sasuke."
Sweat trickled down his brow, and his gaze fixed. Sweat gathered into his palms, and he desperately tried not to remember as he dug nails into his wrists for the sharpness to stunt him, but it was fruitless to forget.
The loud bashing of the gyrating gale against the outer beige wall, the world thrashing outside. Shaking, trembling blistered cold hands that clung to a ragged blanket. The dark red stain dried on his jumper that he didn't notice for two days. The world that caved in on his small form, hugging his knees in the corner of a cottage croft, as the wind screeched, screaming at him, suffocating him- weighing down and scratching with claws at his chest. Pain intrinsically shot up through his ribs, crushing him. The front door battering and creaking open and shut, continuously slamming till he had weakly gotten up and turned the rusted handle to click closed.
Sasuke struggled to stand, his knees weak, and through blurred vision, felt himself dully thud against a solid wall. The rotten stench of death fumigated his nostrils like poisoned gas used to spray parasites off plants in pest control. It reminded him of the larvae that feasted on decaying ivory flesh, a cold shivering that crawled up his spine.
"-he's hyperventi-"
"-He's panicking, Uzumaki, step aside!"
Those cold, dead eyes boring in his own, marking his trauma. He could still see it, sense it all, so vividly. The horror scenes normally reserved for his nightmares and sleepless nights were playing out in the day now. Her body cast out in storming rain, bone protruding out her broken graying ankle.
"Dont argue with me."
He should've argued back. He shouldn't have ran inside. He should've done something more.
"Teme, look at me!"
A voice bellowed through his stupor; two hands clung onto his shoulders with vice grip, a determined look in blue eyes forcing him to plant both feet mentally on the ground and his focus to return to his surroundings. Several of his classmates crowded around him, with a fierce-looking Iruka forcibly ushering them back to their seats to quieten them.
As the class once more sat down, whispers carried out across the room and many still glanced in his direction. Iruka sighed, running a stressed hand through his hair, and addressed his student. "Are you alright, Uchiha-san?" Sasuke merely nodded in response, lost in thought. "I think we should send you home. I'll call your father."
Stark numbing realization immediately hit Sasuke's gut.
He was getting worse.
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She fluttered open her eyes and jolted upright with a start, throwing her bed covers off her.
She strained her eyes at the streams of white light fluttering through the slits of her curtains, casting through her window. The pinkette's sleepy mind struggled to comprehend exactly what it was that felt off in that moment, and she scratched at her short messed bobbed locks whilst she tried to figure it out. Usually in the morning, Sakura awoke feeling groggy and cussing to the high heavens.
This day she certainly felt more rested than usual.
"Crap. Crap. No, no, no-"
A panicked glance at her phone shot shudders through her spine, and confirmed her dreaded suspicions. Her lock screen shot up with a white flash at the click of a button, and the digital clock showcasing the time beeped before her eyes a second before she sleepily processed the numbers despite her fighting adrenaline.
10:06am.
Shit.
How could she be so tardy on her second day?!
It wasn't as though her parents could have woken her. Her father worked early, training hard for this new job they moved overseas for. And her mother was just particularly odd, and never seemed to be around in the mornings. Sakura was sure those absences were fully purposeful though, likely so she could avoid school runs.
Which, currently, was great.
She haphazardly flung herself off her lazy ass with little self regard, at least faster than her brain had time to process to balance itself. Blood shot to her head like brain freeze, and she groaned inwardly at the dehydration rush in her frontal lobes. Despite her dizzy regret, she trod on with surprising persistence she'd have given herself a pat on the back for on another occasion. She threw on her uniform, still an odd concept to grasp with her coming from American public school where blazers and knee high socks weren't a legal requirement, with little care for how tidy or un-ironed it appeared.
Haruno Sakura dove her head under the kitchen tap to guzzle away her parched dry throat. She was sure if she even attempted to act the way she was acting in her hurry in front of her Japanese and Asian peers that she would be immediately blacklisted from their backward Victorian-esque society. Still though, she allowed a small huff of accomplishment to swell in her gut when she had been confronted with the difficulty of that different high school world, and at least managed to make one friend.
It was comical how blunt the blonde she had spoken to the day before was considering the geography and polite culture centered in it. To the horror she'd faced during the school day, the ranting idiot mumbling about anti-social kids and detention had brought a breath of fresh air to the walk home the girl was gratified for. Her face paled when she wondered how harsh her punishment would be for being late as she threw her school bag over her shoulder and hoofed it for her dear life.
Her digital clock struck 10:21am as she panted for breath by the school gate. She'd heard of some Japanese schools that closed off their gates to late students altogether and penalized them. Since she was a first time offender, she fully expected it when a teacher walking through campus found her wandering sent her straight to the principal's office.
Tsunade Senju, the woman with dreams of branching out the school to more international waters, was said to be unwaveringly stern. But that sort of thing was to be expected of a Headmistress.
What Sakura didn't expect was the familiar raven-haired boy she had spoken with the day before. She was slightly irked at the sight of him sat on a seat outside the office when remembering his cold dismissal of her. She couldn't help but stiffle a giggle when a comment Naruto had made entered her mind.
His hair was styled like a duck's ass.
Sasuke's eyes shot up when she failed to hide her laugh, and she silently cursed her luck as well as her lack of composure. He grunted in response and cast his gaze away from her direction, as though to make a statement. It felt as though a visible vein popped on her forehead and she didn't bother to hide her retorting glare. She purposely laced venom in with her next words. "I don't know what impression I gave you yesterday to be greeted so harshly, but if you could stop acting like you've got a stick shoved up that far your ass it'd be greatly appreciated-"
"Shut up," he interjected with a cold undertone.
"If you're going to be a dick, at least look me in the eye." She replied, visibly unimpressed.
A heavy exhale escaped him as his shoulders grew rigid with tension, and a chill entered her chest at the sight of his eyes shot up toward her. His eyes were so heavily narrowed, the tension lines in his forehead and brows so prominent, it looked more as though he were in pain and he hardly registered her presence there at all.
The irk in her expression dropped as guilt replaced it. "Sorry, what's-"
"Annoying," he shot his interruption, and cut her off. He rose from his seat and easily towered over her, appearing much more intimidating than he had the day before. She could hardly blink as she stepped back before a draft brushed passed her and he was gone.
"Uchiha-san, you can't just leave the school premises. Your father-" An unfamiliar figure, presumably a teacher, spoke before an earsplitting slam echoed throughout the mostly empty hallway.
She was left stood dumbfounded, gazing back at the now slammed shut front door of the school. Not by the dramatic manner in which Sasuke had taken his exit, or how he was conveniently placed there in the first place like in the beginning chapters of a dumb romance novel. Sakura wasn't even befuddled as to most of the actions he'd made in their one minute of interacting with one another, though it most definitely pleasant.
No, she was left there stood with uncertainty and even a tinge of shock because of how his eyes had shook her. It wasn't the perceived anger in those dark pupils that any student, including her at first, would have seen first on a shallow level. It was how fast they grew empty, like there was almost nothing there at all.
Apart from pain.
And a mountain load of it.
She was brought back from her shuddering reverie by the figure who had called out to Sasuke before. Light platinum locks pulled into a bun, fair skin and hazel beaming eyes entered her vision in the direction of the hallway to distract her. "I'm Senju Tsunade, your headmistress. If you would please enter my office, Haruno-san."
"Ah, sorry, Miss Senju-" She stammered.
"This is not the US, Haruno-san." The woman lectured her. "Please call me Senju-sensei."
And so it seemed another long day was in store.
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"Eh? What do you want to talk about Teme for, Sakura-chan?!" Naruto loudly exclaimed for all around to hear.
A blush that mirrored her strawberry colored bangs flushed over her freckles cheeks as she covered her ears at the unnecessary volume. Rather than pay attention to the subject matter, students around Naruto and Sakura sat at a lunch table seemed to flinch in disgust more so at his brashness. It even took the pinkette some time to adjust to the colorfulness of Naruto's personality
"Naruto, at least cover your mouth! I don't want to see your half-eaten ramen noodles!" A brunette boy cringed with them, yelling at the unabashed blonde, seated just beside them. The whiskered boy had introduced the brown-haired guy to her as Inuzuka Kiba a few mere moments before. While Sakura had been thankful for the offer to join them at lunch, she was sure she had found herself seated with the strongest personalities in the cafeteria.
It took a lot of testosterone to scream that far across a large room when the recipient of the conversation was a chair across from him.
"She's talking about Teme though, Kiba!" Naruto whined.
Kiba grit his teeth in response at that. It seemed the two shared equal irritation at the simple mention of his name. She regretted bringing up Uchiha Sasuke as she couldn't have predicted the outburst. As exaggerated as it was, Sakura wasn't sure what exactly their deal was with the individual. She'd only brought him up because the pained look in his eyes from earlier had left an impression that annoyed her through some of her classes.
She had to admit that part of it might of had to do with how he rejected her offer of friendship her first day there, but she also felt somewhat guilty. Her reaction earlier had perhaps been childish. She'd let Naruto's butthurt rant about Sasuke affect her opinion of him despite not knowing him.
She needed to be less presumptuous.
She had no idea what Uchiha Sasuke's deal was either, after all.
"I'm guessing you heard about that weird meltdown he had this morning, then." Kiba spoke up, a faraway look in his eye.
She blinked. "He had what?"
Kiba grimaced like it was a painful topic. "Do you really know nothing about the bastard? You've never heard the name Uchiha Sasuke?" He asked, his eyebrows narrowed in disbelief. A quick glance to Naruto stooped Sakura further as the blonde was suddenly quiet and staring into the depths of his ramen broth.
"No, I've not." She frowned. "Why would I have heard his name?"
"It doesn't matter," Naruto spoke with a strange sour note in his voice. "He can't be excused for everything cause he had a bad experience when he was a kid!"
"Keep it down, idiot," Kiba shot daggers.
Naruto looked at Sakura with an unreadable expression in cerulean pupils. "It's not up to us to repeat that bastard's business, anyway. It's better you don't know, Sakura-chan. People try to be nice to the asshole and he looks at you like dirt under his feet. That guys not worth it." Naruto said.
"Were you his friend?" Sakura asked, as understanding crossed her features.
"When we were kids," Naruto shrugged in response. "I could care less, Sakura-chan. That was years ago. And I've got you as a friend now!" He suddenly beamed up, grinning from ear to ear in a true Cheshire cat fashion.
"Yeah," Kiba huffed in bitter agreement. "He was always a bastard, though."
"So were you," Naruto smirked.
"Say that again, baka!" Kiba showed his final form as a hothead.
"So. Were. Youuuu." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"That's it, dead last!"
"Says the guy with period warpaint on his cheeks!"
"Says the ass who got drunk and tattoed whis-"
Sakura droned out their retorts, and heaved a small sigh to herself as she figured it would be regularly like that from then on. There was so little estrogen at the table it was stupendously easy to become a wallflower in the midst of their boyish quips aimed at the other. At some points, she found herself laughing along. At others, she was amazed they were high-schoolers.
Still though, through the noise, she found her head wandering back to one question she wasn't bothering to distract herself with.
What the fork was Uchiha Sasuke's deal?!