You've got wires. Going in. You've got wires. Coming out of your skin. You've got tears, making tracks. I've got tears, that are scared of the facts. Running down corridors, through automatic doors. Got to get to you. Got to see this through. I see hope is here in a plastic box
6th August 2020
"I can't believe we have a newborn" Morgana said. She still had to deliver the placenta, yet at that moment she didn't give a shit if the doctor shoved his hand into her womb and removed the placenta with his fingers. She was covered in god knows what gunk, he still had some of it on him although they wiped quite a lot of it off him.
"Hi sweetie" Merlin cooed. "What do we think? Are you more a Felix or an Alfie?".
"Mummy thinks Alfie" Morgana smiled as she kissed his head.
"I think so too" Merlin agreed. "Felix doesn't suit him".
"Alfie Mordred Emrys it is" Morgana smiled. Merlin burped the baby after he finished feeding, even though he was somewhat covered in baby sick now too, he didn't care. The "new baby smell" was amazing. After half an hour of skin to skin with both Merlin and Morgana, Alfie was taken away to be weighed, he was tiny at 5lb 13oz.
"That's rather good" Dr Aglain remarked. "Especially since he was fetal growth restricted. We're going to monitor is breathing for now, you can still hold him though". Morgana let Merlin hold Alfie while they attached the ECG stickers to him (which he cried during), before he went back to his mama with an oximeter.
"How did we create something so amazing, so perfect" Morgana said.
"We, you know. Did it".
"I can't believe we made absolute perfection through sex" Morgana sighed. "Look at him".
"He's the best" Merlin agreed. "Look at his tiny fingers and his tiny nose. Gosh he's so small!".
"I can't believe he was only five pounds, that's tiny" Morgana exclaimed. "But he's here, he's safe". The oximeter attached to Alfie's foot began to beep and he cried slightly at the sound.
"So he seems to be having difficulty breathing" Dr Aglain said as he held his hands out for him to take the newborn. "So we're going to move him to the NICU".
"What's wrong with him?" Morgana asked.
"His oxygen levels are lower than we expected so we're going to take him to the NICU".
"But ... but he's fine" Morgana stuttered. "Isn't he?".
"He'll just need some extra monitoring".
"If he only needs extra monitoring, why can't he stay here?" Morgana retorted.
"Morgana we need to deliver the placenta now" Lily said. "I'm going to need you to push".
"I don't want to fucking push!" Morgana screeched. "I want my baby!".
"He's not breathing" Dr Aglain said as he and Alice took the newborn.
"What do you mean he's not breathing!" Morgana shouted. "Merlin, go make sure he's okay, Merlin go!". Merlin looked around in shock, Morgana began screaming and thrashing around shaking while Dr Aglain worked on the baby. Her eyes flashed yellow and a high pitched cry filled the delivery suite.
"Blood pressure skyrocketing, mum we're going to move you to the HDU".
"I don't want to go to fucking HDU, I want to see my baby!" Morgana cried. She was still shaking, her eyes repeatedly flashing yellow along with the lights in the room going on and off. "Merlin go see him, go see him now" morgana screeched as she continued to breathe heavily and trash around.
"Morgana we need to deliver the placenta now" Lily said. "I need you to push".
"I fucking am pushing" Morgana screeched as her fists went thrashing in the air.
"Fuck! My nose!" Merlin gasped as blood began to pour out of it.
"Baby's stable but we're going to move him to the NICU".
"Let me see him!" Morgana cried. "Let me see my son". Dr Aglain brought Alfie over, Morgana kissed his forehead and then the baby was moved to the NICU in his cot. "Don't you dare give him formula" Morgana hissed. "I have my colostrum in the freezer".
"Morgana, the placenta's almost out one more push". Morgana pushed the placenta out while Lily yanked the umbilical cord and began shivering.
"Why is it so cold?" Morgana whispered.
"It's boiling" Merlin said. He took his disfigured hand and put it to her sweat drenched forehead. "Babe, you're uh".
"Okay, let's pack up the things then move to the HDU" Sophie said to Alice.
"Can I come?" Merlin asked.
"I'd suggest you head down to A&E to get that all checked out" Lily grimaced. "There'll be others asleep on the ward, visiting hours are over. NICU has no visiting hours but I'd check with Dr Aglain first".
"Merlin, please stay" Morgana whispered. "Please. I won't try to kill you. I promise. I'm sorry".
"Morgana we really need to move you as soon as possible" Sophie said. "Your blood pressure is through the roof, we need to work on getting it down".
"Okay" Morgana cried and took a deep breath. "Okay".
"I love you" Merlin said as he kissed Morgana. "I'm so proud of you and our son. I promise, I'll be back, when are visiting hours?".
"Eight am until ten pm in the high dependency" Lily said. "Okay Merlin, we're going to head off now".
"Bye love" Merlin cried.
"I'll miss you" Morgana cried.
"I will too" Merlin said. "I'll only be downstairs, in A&E getting my hand and nose checked out".
"Are they broken?" Morgana laughed.
"I'll have to go see, okay?" Merlin grinned and kissed her forehead. "Love you".
"I love you too Merlin" Morgana said as he saw him putting his mask on.
"Ouch" Merlin said. His nose continued to bleed, the blood seeping through the mask and dripping onto his scrubs. He looked a bit like a doctor pre-COVID.
"Does it hurt to wear the mask?" Lily asked.
"Like hell" Merlin grimaced.
"I think that qualifies as an exemption" Lily said. "Now go to A&E and get your hand and nose checked out".
Merlin walked out of the delivery suite, turning back to wave to Morgana who was taken to HDU before he exited the women and children's department and made his way to A&E. It was pitch black outside, the stars twinkling. Still boiling hot, a hint of warmth in the air. Merlin checked the time—around two in the morning. He debated whether to phone his parents or get checked out first, after seeing "last seen: 22:55" on whatsapp he decided to go to A&E to get his nose checked out.
"A&E how can I help?" The receptionist said.
"My wife just gave birth, bit my hand and squeezed it so hard it's gone a bit misshapen" Merlin showed his hand off. "And I've had this nosebleed for the past half hour when she punched me".
The receptionist chuckled. "Congratulations. Boy or girl?".
"Boy. We named him Alfie" Merlin smiled. "One of the midwives advised me to come down here".
"I can see why" the receptionist laughed. "Name?".
"Merlin Emrys".
"Address?".
"35 William Jones, NP25 3AE" Merlin replied.
"Take a seat" the receptionist said after putting a wristband on Merlin. "Congratulations on the little one. Not so much on the injuries".
"Thank you" Merlin grinned as he went to sit down. He'd been given a lot of tissues to hold to his nose, not that they stopped the bleeding. A&E was practically a ghost town, much like the rest of the hospital. With it being the middle of the night and in the middle of a pandemic, there weren't many people there. Merlin was seen rather quickly and after being taken to a room and then a bed he was prepped for an x-ray on both his nose and his hand.
"We do see this rather often" the doctor chuckled.
"People ending up with a broken hand and nose due to their wife giving birth?" Merlin chuckled.
"Just the hand part" the doctor laughed. "Hand and broken nose is rather rare".
"I can imagine" Merlin agreed. "Well that's what my wife's like I guess".
"Can I see a picture?" The doctor and nurses asked.
"Of course" Merlin said as he took his phone out and showed them a picture of the three of them. "His name is Alfie, five pounds thirteen ounces".
"Aww, he's tiny" the nurses cooed.
"He's adorable" the doctor said. "Let's get your X-ray done". Merlin's nose was indeed broken, while he thought his eye bags were due to lack of sleep from being awake for no one knows how long, it was actually a side effect of his broken nose. Technically it was only fractured so after having some paracetamol, much to Merlin's relief it was decided that he wouldn't need a splint, although he did have a gauze fitted seeing as it wouldn't stop bleeding that he'd have removed at the head and neck unit in a few days. Merlin's pinky was also fractured, so he was given a splint and had it bandaged up before he was sent on his way.
Patents were allowed to visit the NICU at all times so Merlin walked over to the women and children's department, taking the lift up to the first floor. He walked over to the NICU after running down corridors and through automatic doors, he was quickly let in, being led to Alfie. Alfie was asleep in an incubator, wearing only a nappy a hat and had a tube going into his nose with a light over him.
"He's slightly jaundiced" it was explained to him. Alfie's oxygen levels were returning to normal and it was likely that he'd be able to move to be with Morgana in the morning. After saying bye to his newborn son, Merlin took the stairs down and walked out of the hospital, phoning his parents. It was beginning to get light now, yet at this point it was obvious Merlin wouldn't get any sleep. While leaning against the wall outside the hospital and checking the time—five o'clock, Amhar would be waking up soon enough so he decided to call his parents.
"Merlin?" Hunith said.
"Son, it's five o'clock in the morning!" Balinor exclaimed.
"Mum, dad!" Merlin grinned. "He's here! The baby's here!".
"Son, it's five o'clock in the morning" Balinor repeated.
"That's great son!" Hunith gushed. "How is he?".
"He's in the NICU for breathing problems but he's going to be moved in the morning to be with Morgana".
"Oh no, I hope everything okay" Hunith said.
"It will be" Merlin replied.
"Are you coming home tonight then, son?" Balinor asked.
"Yeah, I'm probably going to get changed and all before heading back here. I did spend a few hours in A&E".
"What happened!" Hunith gasped.
"I fractured my nose so now I'm exempt from a face mask and broke my pinky".
"What exactly happened?" Balinor frowned.
"Morgana gave birth" Merlin deadpanned. "See you in around forty-five". Merlin arrived home just before six, tiptoeing into his house. Hunith and Balinor were sat at the kitchen table with a mug.
"Morgana's not pregnant, I can have coffee" Merlin grinned as his mother passed him a mug.
"I want to know everything" Hunith said. "From start to finish".
"Okay" Merlin smiled. "On Tuesday evening, Morgana had a midwife appointment, first one in person since thirty-seven weeks. Turns out her uterus hadn't grown since then".
Hunith gasped. "What!".
"They said if she didn't go into labour overnight that she'd be induced in the morning, but checked and she was already three centimetres dilated. So we were moved to the midwife led unit. Not much happened, Morgana eventually was ten centimetres at around ten o'clock last night. Baby's heart rate was dipping so she was moved to the delivery suite and he was born at six minutes past midnight ... not breathing".
"Merlin" Balinor said sympathetically.
"He .. he had his cord wrapped around his neck" Merlin gasped as he began to choke on his sobs. "He soon breathed. Morgana and I got to hold him. Then ... after ... around half an hour, his oxygen levels dropped and he stopped breathing, Morgana's blood pressure skyrocketed so she was moved to high dependency, baby started breathing again and I saw him in the NICU and he is perfect".
"Oh Merlin" Hunith said sympathetically. "That sounds really hard".
"It was rather scary towards the end" Merlin said.
"Do you want a hug?" Hunith asked.
"Alfie's in NICU so I think it's best not to" Merlin replied.
"You smell" Balinor remarked.
"Yeah, Morgana puked on me" Merlin chuckled. "I only had one spare top and then that one was puked on, so the midwife gave me scrubs".
"Yeah, I think you ought to take a shower" Hunith agreed. Merlin took a shower and then went downstairs for breakfast when it was closer to seven, dressed in clean clothes. Amhar was sat on his chair drinking his milk when Merlin walked into the kitchen.
"Daddy!" Amhar gasped as he saw Merlin.
"Hey buddy" Merlin said as he picked up Amhar and hugged him. "Do you want to know something?".
"Yeah" Amhar replied.
"Mummy had your baby brother" Merlin exclaimed.
"Baby bruvver here?" Amhar asked.
"He is" Merlin smiled as he brought up a photo. "His name's Alfie, and he was born today".
"Alfie" Amhar said with a smile. "I wike Alfie".
"I'm glad" Merlin smiled. "Soon he'll come home and you can play with him".
"I wove Alfie" Amhar smiled. After staying for breakfast much to Amhar's delight, Merlin took the drive back to the hospital and arrived not too long before eight. Morgana was sat up in her bed eating toast and drinking some coffee.
"Morning" Merlin said as he kissed Morgana.
"I can now drink coffee" Morgana smiled. "Finally".
"That's a relief" Merlin grinned. "We'll need it with the baby".
"We will" Morgana agreed.
"How are you?" Merlin asked.
"I managed to get some sleep in the end but had to wake up to breastfeed" Morgana replied. "They took me down to the NICU to breastfeed Alfie. I'm heading down to see him after breakfast".
"Okay" Merlin replied. "I went to see him last night after I went to A&E".
"How was it?" Morgana smirked.
"You fractured my nose, hence my lack of face mask" Merlin pouted. "And broke my pinky".
"Oh well, your bollocks are safe" Morgana shrugged. "Sorry about that though".
"I have to come back here on Monday to have my gauze removed, seeing as the bleeding wouldn't stop".
"Do you think it was worth it?" Morgana asked.
"What worth what?" Merlin asked as he scratched his head.
"The pain of broken fingers and whatnot for Alfie".
"One hundred percent" Merlin nodded. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat".
Morgana finished her breakfast and then went down to the NICU. While at first she had gone in a wheelchair, she now felt OK to walk as she had Merlin to lean on for support. The rules were that only one parent (per baby) was allowed in the NICU, so Morgana went in so she could feed Alfie. It was also decided that Alfie could move out of the NICU now that his oxygen levels were back to normal, so Merlin and Morgana went back to the high dependency ward wheeling Alfie in the cot. He'd just spent his first night curled up on his own in the incubator even though no one could probably tell, and Morgana was adamant on holding him all the time. Merlin held him whenever she went to the toilet or had a bath, though she sometimes would insist on him going with her so that she could see Alfie, awkwardly having to balance her peri-bottle and "spritz for bits".
"This is great" Morgana sarcastically remarked as she sat down on the toilet holding onto her peri-bottle. "And here I thought having a toddler was well ... gross. As for a newborn".
"I can't believe we're actually doing this" Merlin chuckled as he burped Alfie lightly. "Well, this is the life".
"It sure is" Morgana agreed with a grimace.
"You okay?" Merlin frowned.
"I'd heard the first poo after birth was hard, but fucking hell, this is awful!"
"At least you don't have to mess around with suppositories" Merlin raised an eyebrow.
"Or laxatives. Though I do have to keep a folded up pad between my vagina and my anus to make it hurt less, that's what the midwife said. Fucking hell, it's like giving birth all over again or something".
"Maybe they missed part of the placenta?" Merlin asked. "I mean, they could have".
Morgana looked down to check. "No, they didn't. Fuck that hurts. I need my vagina spray thing it's supposed to help".
"Spritz for bits?" Merlin asked uncertainly as he passed her it.
"Yeah, apparently stops your vagina hurting after you give birth. They do some nipple cream and lanolin for your boobs but I don't want Alfie ingesting that stuff".
"Ingesting it?" Merlin frowned.
"Yeah, I rub it on my nipple, he eats from my nipple. Anyway, I'm getting engorged so I'll head back to the bed and feed him soon".
"You sure? Aren't you still..". Right on cue Alfie began to cry.
"Welcome to the new parent life" Morgana grinned. "Where you can't even shit in peace".
A/N: My brother has this annoying light up toy called "Alfie bear" from when he was a baby, we happened to find it when I was writing this and when he saw Amhar said "I wove Alfie" he couldn't stop laughing cause he thought i was writing about the bear