Everybody knows my name now, but something bout it still feels strange. Like looking in a mirror trying to steady yourself, and seeing somebody else. And everything is not the same now,it feels like all our lives have changed. Maybe when I'm older it'll all calm down but it's killing me now
24th October 2020
"Today's the day!" Merlin said. They'd be training for the whole half term, beginning on Saturday and hopefully finishing by the beginning of November.
"For what?" Morgana grumbled as she opened one eye to check Alfie. Still feeding.
"Potty training".
"We've had this conversation before" Morgana whined. "I'm booby duty, you're booty duty".
"You saw that on youtube" Merlin scoffed.
"It's true though" Morgana rolled her eyes. "Try having a baby gorge on your nipples, have them cracked and bleeding so you religiously apply lanolin only to end up with too much, have a baby rely on you for every meal and essentially cry unless they have a tit in their mouth".
"Poop duty it is then" Merlin decided.
"I'll help, don't worry" Morgana said. "Once I'm not engorged and he's finished eating". Merlin went to get Amhar, he was sat up in bed making his bat fly across the room.
"Daddy!" Amhar squealed.
"Okay, let's take your nappy off" Merlin said. He lay Amhar down on the floor seeing as he was too big for the changing table now, took the nappy off and told him to sit on the potty, waiting till Morgana came in with Alfie.
"Okay, you're a big boy now Amhar, so we're going to get rid of the nappies".
"And give to baby Alfie?" Amhar asked.
"Yeah, give them to a baby like Alfie" Morgana smiled.
"Bye nappies" Amhar grinned and threw the pack up in the air. "I no need you anymore".
"Well, looks like we have to keep him naked waist down for three days, then we go into leggings and no pants for a week, then pants".
"And then the night training" Morgana grimaced. "Well, let's do this. Hopefully the oh crap method isn't crap". The first few days involved watching Amhar like a hawk and making him sit on the potty every twenty minutes. Naturally, there were accidents that were not fun to clean up, though within a few days Amhar did manage to get the hand of it and know that he had to wee and poo in the potty or toilet. The second stage involved wearing trousers but no pants, they had quite a few pairs of leggings with animals on the bottom that Amhar loved, with the bribery of "we need to keep the animals all clean" working rather well, even with the odd accident here and there, though he was extra careful to keep his favourite leggings with a highland cow and reindeer extra clean.
28th October 2020
Merlin and Morgana went onto the websites of many clothes shops to let Amhar choose his big boy pants, mainly choosing Hey Duggee and Marvel, alongside a sticker chart. He was mainly dry at daytime by the Wednesday, so they began taking him out for longer outings than the usual walk around the block around their house, leaving through the front and arriving in the back. Naturally, Amhar still had the occasional accident but was mostly trained.
"Now that we've almost finished potty training, I'm really fucking bored" Morgana drawled.
"I thought a pandemic would be semi-interesting whenever I heard about it in passing. This, on the other hand is dull as hell".
"We are not going on another walk, it's raining" Morgana muttered.
"What else is there to do, Morgana?" Merlin sighed. "There's only so much CBeebies, Disney plus and Netflix the kid will watch. At work there's either the kids that have used this time to get fit then there's the ones who have sat on their arsed and done hardly anything!".
"I'm sure PE has been fun" Morgana rolled her eyes. "I've got an idea. Okay, let's get all our wellies on once the rain stops and go puddle jumping!".
"Okay, that's the best idea ever" Merlin grinned.
"I think a puddle suit for Amhar, new wellies and some waterproof over trousers would also be useful" Morgana said. "Right, off to find the wellies and my DofE kit". By the time they had found all the kit, the rain had finally stopped and Morgana and Merlin were ready to leave the house.
"Okay, let's see if these boots fit" Morgana said as she grabbed Amhar's Thomas and friends wellies.
"No Thomas!" Amhar scowled.
"Look, they light up!" Morgana said.
"No Thomas!" Amhar said as he threw the welly.
"Amhar" Morgana warned.
"Noooo! Noooo Thomas" Amhar insisted. "No Thomas, no fucking troller, noooo".
"Okay, looks like we're staying in" Morgana sighed as she took Alfie out the pram. "Someone needs new wellies it seems".
"Thomas ones?" Merlin suggested with a smirk.
"Noooo" Amhar cried and threw his boot at Merlin.
"Amhar Tom Emrys" Morgana said as she put her teacher voice/strict mum voice on. "We do not throw things at dad. You will go on time out".
"Don't want to" he pouted.
"Well, tough" Morgana said. "You can stay on the naughty step for two minutes and then have a nap".
"I not tired" Amhar insisted.
"You listen to your parents, Amhar" Morgana whispered in a rather deadly voice.
"Yes mummy" Amhar obeyed and sat on the bottom step with a pout. Morgana was not in the mood for messing around, while usually she'd have the two minute timer while she tidied up the coats and took Alfie out the pram, she decided not to start the timer until after all that had been done. Amhar's sleeping hadn't been the best as of late at night time, so they were more sleep deprived than usual. Normally Amhar would be allowed his bunny and bat to sleep with, though today they were taken away from him and he was shut in his room, no cuddle or anything.
"He is so stubborn" Morgana rolled her eyes as she checked the baby monitor.
"Well we all know where he gets that from" Merlin muttered.
"Well, Alfie's asleep, Amhar's in time out until he falls asleep. What should we do?".
"I know" Merlin whispered. He winked and leant in closer. "Both kids are asleep, we could have some mummy daddy time".
"You mean have sex?" Morgana raised her eyebrow.
"Why not?" Merlin asked, his voice low and seductive.
"No" Morgana said as she flopped on the sofa. "I'm not ready yet".
"I've got an idea" Merlin smirked and grabbed a notepad off the coffee table. "Remember when we were kids and how we used to get toys in our cereal".
"I loved that!" Morgana gasped. "The whole computer room in the house too".
"Now you can take them anywhere" Merlin chuckled. "Those plastic cups with characters on them".
"I had sleeping beauty and belle" Morgana smiled at the memory.
"Mine was Sponge Bob I think. That kids toothpaste".
"With the sparkles and star shape!" Morgana gasped. "I used to think if I used that toothpaste before going to the dentist that I'd have extra sparkly teeth".
"I mean who didn't! My mum hit telling me but I didn't believe her".
"The orange VHS tape was the best" Morgana smirked.
"Oh my god! Rugrats!" Merlin exclaimed. "I loved it, so much".
"It was the best" Morgana agreed.
"What else did you watch and listen to as a kid?".
"Hm let's see" Morgana chuckled. "So we're going back twenty years ... the original Thomas the Tank Engine not this big world adventures shite, the original Teletubbies, art attack".
"Magic roundabout?".
"Oh my god I loved that!" Morgana squealed. "Rolie Polie olie...that's all I can remember from my young childhood. Oh wait, and Peppa pig, well just about, as in it came out when I was ten but we still watched it".
"Who didn't watch peppa" Merlin chuckled. "Now she's just an annoying little shite".
"Apparently she's the kid in that Haunting of Bly Manor!".
"Oh my god!" Merlin gasped. "It is! Bloody Flora or whatever her name is".
"Perfectly splendid" Morgana mocked. "What did you watch".
"Merlin the magical puppy" Merlin admitted. "I mean, as a kid it amused me! The puppy being called Merlin, that I could be a magical puppy".
Morgana laughed. "That's so adorable. I think we made the cut for CBeebies?".
"Just about" Merlin agreed. "Remember fireflies?".
"Owl city!" Morgana gasped. "I'd like to make myself believe".
"That planet earth turns ... slowly" Merlin sang.
"It's hard to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep" Merlin and Morgana joined hands and danced as they sung. "Cause everything is never as it seems". Morgana leant back in Merlin embrace and looked up at him.
"Good grief the macarena was awful" Merlin remarked.
"Ehhh Macarena!" Morgana said as she turn jumped and began doing the macarena. "Remember the original TiK ToK?".
"Oh my god, Kesha! What else was there, that 500 miles?".
"Oh come on, that's a classic" Morgana scoffed.
"I can't believe they put it in the viagra advert" Merlin cringed.
"Just don't" Morgana groaned. "Whole childhood ruined by one stupid advert".
"You're telling me" Merlin agreed. "Those little box things, you know with the spiders".
"The original engagement rings" Morgana laughed. "Oh they were brilliant! I was terrified".
"I can imagine" Merlin agreed. "Did you do Pokemon cards?".
"Duh...I was thrilled when Pokemon go came out".
"I can't believe people died playing Pokemon go" Merlin shook his head. "What were those tiny pets? Y'know, the virtual one".
"My tamagotchi! I named her aurora".
"Mine was Kilgharrah and a dog not a cat...I'm sure you can imagine why".
"Poor pets ... they don't deserve to be terrorised by kids" Morgana grinned.
"I know" Merlin agreed. "That was ... sort of mean".
"Damn, these days we get annoyed with YouTube for not loading straight away, I mean can you even remember the pre-internet times".
"Oh boy" Merlin rolled his eyes. "Now those were painful, waiting for the internet to load".
"At least no one photographed everything" Morgana shrugged.
"True, I never did get the hype with Snapchat or TikTok" Merlin shuddered.
"What about teenage hood?".
"Gossip girl! Blimey I was obsessed with it".
"I can't believe it was Dan".
"You watched gossip girl!" Morgana gasped.
"I did" Merlin smirked. "Well, in passing anyway. Mainly that and smallville".
"Don't tell me you had a TVD stage" Morgana groaned.
"Don't worry, I didn't" Merlin confirmed. "It was better than twilight, but".
"Good grief, no thank you" Morgana rolled her eyes. "Pretty little liars was just crap".
"The ending was weird as hell" Merlin agreed. "Ben 10 was pretty cool".
"I was more of a H20 girl" Morgana shrugged. "Bloody loved it. Emma, Cleo, Ricky...I'm starting Mako mermaids soon, the reboot".
"I've heard there's going to be a gossip girl reboot" Merlin commented.
"Nah, can't be bothered" Morgana shrugged. "Still need to finish fuller house, I watched the original as a kid but haven't finished it".
"Well, we ought to get on with it then" Merlin grinned. "Shame we can't get a support system like that".
"Corona sucks" Morgana rolled her eyes. "Did you watch the original one?".
"Duh" Merlin rolled his eyes. "I was a nineties kid, so of course".
"The temporary MCR phase I had" Morgana chuckled.
"You had an MCR phase?" Merlin gasped.
"And a Fall out boy" Morgana shrugged. "Plus JLS at some point, went to the concerts. Not to mention one direction".
"Baby you light up my world like nobody else" Merlin mock-sung. "The way that you flipped your hair makes me overwhelmed".
"Shut up" Morgana laughed. "Please".
"No" Merlin smirked.
"I've got all the albums too. JLS were meant to reunite this year".
"Bloody coronavirus" Merlin sighed.
"I mean, I enjoyed the time we had together as a family. Cause let's face it, we'll never get that time back again. Not having to entertain people who want to visit the baby, but then".
"Of course it's hard" Merlin completed. "All those deaths and whatnot".
"Of course" Morgana nodded. "Then the mum situation. I've tried to keep myself as distanced from it as possible, I know she's been out of hospital for a while".
"Then there's still the risk. Being clinically vulnerable and all".
"Then if anything were to kick off again I'd probably have to go, take Alfie with me or stop breastfeeding. I'm uncertain about taking him abroad naturally, but then I don't want to stop breastfeeding if the worst comes to the worst".
"Well, luckily we're not in that position as of yet, we can make a decision when it comes to that".
"I suppose" Morgana shrugged. "Remember how we used to have to carry a phone and iPod around".
"Oh my god" Merlin chuckled. "The struggle was real. A razr and MP3 for me".
"When the iPhones and Samsung's came out the whole world changed".
"And now everything is online" Merlin shrugged. "I guess it's good though, especially in the pandemic. Keeps us all close".
"Exactly, it's got its ups and downs. Like life".
"I mean ... it's a pretty shit time now".
"I know I've got you, Alfie, Amhar and all. Though it's scary as hell, and so ... lonely".
"I know" Merlin agreed. "We're not alone but it still feels fucking lonely".
31st October 2020
Morgana scowled at Merlin as he slept then smiled at Alfie as he fed. It was almost three o'clock in the morning, witching hour. Everyone was sleeping except Morgana and Alfie. The whole situation was terrifying. Anything could happen at any minute. Though she knew she wasn't alone, the loneliness was unbearable as she looked around the room. She wanted to dramatically toss but she couldn't seeing as she was co-sleeping and had to remain the c-shaped position around Alfie in order to safely co-sleep. She could barely keep her eyes open, it was too tiring. There was simply no point, it was too bloody tiring. Coronavirus was too scary. Though everything was made worse at three am, so Morgana closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Her heart just wouldn't slow down, as she found herself staring at Alfie once her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, eventually succumbing.
The Halloween of 2020 was due to be spent in lockdown, as many other events of 2020 had been. Though that didn't mean that they wouldn't dress up or go out, while trick or treating wasn't taking place, there was the idea that many people would go for a walk around their local village and bring their own sweets, putting a sweet in their kid's bucket whenever they saw a pumpkin or decorated house. Amhar was dressed in a paw patrol halloween t-shirt with jeans, while Alfie had a bodysuit with a bat and pumpkin that read "my first Halloween".
"Happy Halloween!" Amhar said.
"Okay, we're doing our pumpkin" Morgana smirked. "We have two, one for Alfie and one for you. Do you want daddy to do yours or mummy?".
"Daddy!" Amhar declared.
"Let the best carver win" Morgana smirked. They began by taking off the top and scooping out the filling, Morgana took a photo of Alfie inside the pumpkin which Amhar found hilarious before they went about carving it.
"I want Duggee!" Amhar insisted. "And chase. Marshal. No Thomas".
"I'll see what I can do kiddo" Merlin muttered. Morgana ended up winning the contest, having carved a Harry Potter pumpkin while Merlin just about managed to make a semi-smiling pumpkin. Amhar and Alfie had an afternoon nap as usual while Merlin and Morgana sorted out the Halloween costumes and got the face paint ready.
"I think our costumes this year are rather good, don't you?" Merlin smirked.
"I think so" Morgana agreed. "Let's hope Amhar won't cry at yours".
"Shame they didn't have a hulk adult sized costume" Merlin pouted.
"Now this costume is scary" Morgana smirked. "Well, there's always next year".
"Hopefully Amhar won't cry when he sees me like this next year" Merlin chuckled. At around four thirty, Morgana began getting herself ready while Merlin watched the kids and then changed around.
"Well, what do you say?" Morgana asked as she twirled around. She wore a white blouse with a pencil skirt, had hair hair in two plaits and wore a Slytherin robe.
"If it isn't the sexiest Slytherin mama I've ever seen I don't know who is" Merlin smirked. "Right ... let's get my one done".
"Good luck" Morgana chuckled going down to watch Amhar while Merlin went into the bedroom. He dressed in a white shirt with a black suit, a yellow waistcoat underneath and a large top hat.
"It's a Frankenstein" Morgana smiled as she painted his face green. "You're a monster".
"ROAR!" Amhar shouted in Morgana's face.
"We really need to brush his teeth harder" Morgana muttered.
"Less juice maybe?" Merlin shrugged as he walked into the room.
"Noooooo" Amhar wailed. "The fucking troller".
"No Amhar, it's the fat controller" Morgana corrected.
"The fucking troller?".
"No, the fat controller".
"The fuck troller?" Amhar asked.
"I give up" Morgana muttered.
"Noo fucking troller" Amhar cried.
"Amhar look, it's daddy, see" Merlin said as he picked him up. Amhar scowled at him while morgana put Alfie in his costume, a baby yoda gown with a hat, footlets and gloves he could wear over his snowsuit when they went outside.
"Photo time!" Morgana declared as they leant against the wall in the hallway and took many photos, eventually getting the bucket for Amhar and putting both kids in the double buggy, making their way outside.
"Ooh, pumpkin!" Amhar said.
"One sweet for you" Merlin said as he put it in Amhar's bucket.
"Yay!" Amhar squealed. "I wove Halloween!". After having a nice walk around Monmouth for half an hour, it began to get cold so they headed back for dinner and hot chocolate.
"Oh no, another announcement" Morgana groaned.
"Now is the time to take action because there is no alternative" Boris announced.
"Ah yes, I'm guessing another lockdown" Merlin rolled his eyes.
"From Thursday until the start of December, you must stay at home and may only leave home for specific reasons, including education, for work if you cannot work from home, exercise or recreation with your household, alone or one person from another household, for medical reasons and appointments, escape injury or harm, shop for essentials, or to provide care for vulnerable people or volunteer. Non essential shops, leisure and entertainment shall be closed, though click and collect services can continue".
"So we're in lockdown again" Merlin frowned. "But we can still go to school and walks?".
"Clearly BoJo doesn't give a shit about us teachers" Morgana rolled her eyes. "Though online teaching is shite, at least it's safe".
"Essential shops will remain open so there is no need to stock up".
"At least we won't run out of toilet roll?" Merlin offered.
"Right I'm done" Morgana turned off the TV. "Let's eat bloody dinner. Urgh, another lockdown".
"This ones short, it's barely a lockdown" Merlin said. "Just no shopping".
"At least I'll be able to meet with people for a walk" Morgana sighed. "This is so fucking lonely. I know we have the kids and are married and all, but still".
"It sucks" Merlin sighed.
"Shut up" Morgana snapped. "You get to go to work, see people. You're not stuck at home with a baby attached to your tit all day".