Put it in your pocket, watch it move a mountain. Of all the things to be, I choose a kindness and if you gave some to me, I think we'd find ourselves here dancing in the streets. Everyone we'd meet would smile a little daydream, it could be amazing, wouldn't it be wonderful if everybody gave a little love
16th November 2020
As the anniversary was on a Monday, Morgana was given all day alone with Alfie, given Merlin was working and Amhar was at nursery all day.
"What do you think? Shall mama try on her old clothes?" Morgana asked Alfie. He gurgled and grinned showing off his gums. "Okay, mummy will try her old clothes on then. Well, I can't try my jeans, they definitely won't fit. Maybe my old underwear, Dada would like the surprise wouldn't he?". Morgana pulled on one of her old thong's and out on a regular bra as opposed to the maternity and nursing one's she'd lived in for almost a year.
"Well that bra doesn't do me any favours, does it?" Morgana muttered. "Though my boobs look good. That thing only fit's pre-baby boobs though". After going for a walk with Mithian and putting Alfie down in his Moses basket for a nap, Morgana began to start on lunch and dinner. As usual for lunch, she didn't tend to eat much (only a sandwich, without the crusts) though decided she'd eat more at dinner. What Merlin didn't know wouldn't hurt him, as she began to prepare things for dinner, not that she'd actually prepare anything until the later afternoon. Though she did quickly mix together her cheesecake mixture and put it in the fridge, given it needed to set for a while.
"Mummy is bored" Morgana announced. "What shall we do?". Alfie gurgled and Morgana watched a baby yoga and replicated it, likewise with "the baby club", though made sure not to expose him to the TV, continuing to play with toys with him. She set out the wedding clothes for Merlin, put her old wedding dress on and put the clothes from the photoshoot on Amhar's bed. She kept Alfie in a pair of leggings and put a teddy bear jumper on top, he'd finally outgrown all newborn clothes and those from the photoshoot were newborn sized.
"I rather like the clothes you chose for us to wear today" Merlin smirked as he followed Amhar into the living room.
"I think so too" Morgana agreed. "Like my outfit?".
"Of course I do" Merlin rolled his eyes.
"Well, I have some cheese pasta for Amhar and then ... we'll put him to bed".
Merlin raised an eyebrow. "So, anything special today?".
"You'll have to wait and see" Morgana purred. "Now, why don't we make sure the kids are fed, go see Arthur and Gwen then we can have special mummy and daddy time".
"Okay" Merlin grinned. He could barely take his eyes off Morgana as she breastfed Alfie, amazed at the look of love in her eyes as she looked down at the feeding baby and he looked back at her. The amount of love and happiness in the room was overwhelming even with everything happening around them. Morgana had begun to get less anxious, the CBT sessions helping. After Amhar and Alfie had finished eating, the Emrys family went into the car and drove to Camelot. Though it was dark by the time they arrived at the graveyard, it didn't stop them as they put their coats (not in Alfie's case, he stayed in the car seat and already was nice and bundled up!) on in the car and walked up to the graves.
"Arthur would've been so old today" Morgana commented as she looked at her brother's grave.
"Almost the big forty" Merlin said. "Time flies".
"Especially with coronavirus" Morgana agreed. "I can't believe that there was a whole lockdown and pandemic".
"That and now we have our son" Merlin smiled as he rubbed the baby's cheek.
"And now we have Alfie" Morgana echoed. "This year's been pretty hard. No denying that. But I, I think I'm getting better".
"I'm glad".
"He used to look so much like Arthur, now he's changed a lot".
"He looks like a mini Gwen" Merlin agreed. While Amhar as a baby had looked very much like Arthur, blond hair and blue eyed, over time he had changed a slightly. He still highly resembled Arthur though his hair was darker, and had his mother's eyes and face shape.
"I know" Morgana agreed. "He's changed so much".
"He's too much like his parents, it's almost painful if you get what I mean".
"We still love him, all the same". Usually Merlin would put Amhar to bed and read him his story, though today all the family went to the bedroom as they put Amhar to bed then had their dinner at the table by candlelight. Morgana had made some homemade vegetable soup, with buttered bread followed by the cheesecake. Merlin and Morgana's exchanged their gifts and cards—a peridot for Morgana's locket while Merlin had the photo album.
"Aww, look!" Morgana exclaimed as they opened it. "Our wedding photos".
"They're gorgeous" Merlin agreed. "Look at us. Me, you, Amhar".
"Alfie was there too" Morgana added. "We just didn't know at that point".
"We really did get a lot of cute photos from the wedding day" Merlin commented as he flicked the pages.
"I know. Look, there's me finding out we're pregnant, your reaction too".
"This past year has been so good" Merlin said turning more pages. The matching Christmas pyjamas as they sat in front of the tree in Christmas'19. Bringing in the new decade. Memories of staying at home, baby shopping, meeting baby Athena, going to the beach, Morgana's bump becoming progressively larger. Being at the hospital while Morgana was in labour, Merlin being covered in rainbow puke. Alfie being born and the half an hour of bliss before he went to the NICU, Morgana went to HDU and Merlin went to A&E. Merlin standing outside the women's and children's department with his bloody nose, Alfie in the NICU then being fed by Morgana. The first car ride home where they worried over every pothole and bump in the road. Amhar and Alfie meeting for the first time. The newborn photoshoot. 'Meeting' lots of people over zoom. Amhar turning two, Alfie gradually getting bigger over time, Autumn rolling around with lockdown 2.0. Bonfire night. The first year had been jam-packed in the most unexpected way, tough though the best at the same time.
Merlin's card to Morgana read "It's been one year. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. And I've loved every moment".
"Aww this is so cute" Morgana said as she kissed Merlin. "Thank you. This has been the best year of my life too".
"Here's to many more and the memories we'll make" Merlin smiled.
"I'm afraid my card isn't as romantic" Morgana shrugged nonchalantly as she handed merlin to card, which said "Here's a folded piece of paper to celebrate making it to our paper anniversary without needing divorce papers".
"I rather like it" Merlin chuckled and grinned. "I mean ... if you said this two years ago we would've been divorced".
"Within the year" Morgana agreed.
"I'm going to feed Alfie upstairs and get him settled down, I'll let you know when you can come up".
"You mean I have to be patient?" Merlin pouted.
"I'm making Alfie share these" Morgana pointed at her boobs. "I think you'll be fine waiting".
"Okay, that I can wait for" Merlin smirked. Morgana texted him half an hour later and Merlin headed up to the bedroom, knocking twice before entering.
"Hello, Mrs Emrys" Merlin greeted. Morgana was leant on the bed, wearing her old lingerie from pre-pregnancy. The thong fit rather well, her boobs spilled out the bra. Merlin had to stop for a moment as he took her in.
"Mr Emrys" Morgana nodded. "Well, let's get to it then".
"Wait what?" He briefly stuttered as he saw Alfie in the Next2Me. "What's Alfie doing here?".
"He has to sleep in the same room as us until six months old, SIDS protocol" Morgana shrugged. She stood up off the bed, flicked her hair over her shoulder and made her way to Merlin. "Besides, we've had sex when he was in here. Ready, Mr Emrys?".
"As ready as you are" Merlin grinned as his lips crashed onto hers. They quickly made their way onto the bed, lost in each other after having abstained for three months.
"MUMMY!"
Morgana groaned and lay on her back.
"Shut up Amhar" Merlin muttered as he removed the batteries from the baby monitor and threw it on the floor.
"That's better" Morgana raised her eyebrows and arched her back. "Now, where were we?".
"DADDY" Amhar cried from down the hall.
"I'll get it" Merlin muttered as he went down the hall to the nursery while Morgana put the batteries back in the baby monitor. "Now Amhar, daddy wants to spend adult time with mummy so please shut up and go to sleep".
"I peed" Amhar announced. Merlin groaned loudly so Morgana headed over to the nursery to help Merlin with changing the sheets.
"Remember, you're a big boy" Morgana reminded Amhar. "Where do big boys go for a wee?".
"On the potty or toilet" Amhar said.
"Yes, that's right" Morgana said. "So you need to remember to go for wee on the potty, can you see it?".
"There" Amhar pointed in-between the two wardrobes.
"Good boy" Morgana kissed his forehead as she changed his pyjamas. "Now be a good boy and go to sleep". Amhar eagerly agreed, after washing their hands and freshening up Merlin and Morgana made their way back to the bed.
"I need you. So badly" Morgana whispered into Merlin's ear as they kissed.
"Me too" Merlin agreed as he kissed her back. They got on rather well, almost about to have sex when Amhar shouted once more "Mummy!".
"What is it now, Amhar?" Morgana asked as she made her way into the toddlers room with Merlin.
"I do a poo" Amhar said.
"Did you do it in your pants?" Merlin asked as he rubbed his eyes.
"No".
"On the potty?" Morgana asked.
"No, I go on the big toilet" Amhar announced, "And do a poo". Merlin and Morgana glanced at one another, soon hearing a wail down the hall.
"I'll do Alfie, you do Amhar" Morgana muttered as she went back to the bedroom. By the time Merlin had returned, Morgana was crying, makeup streaking her face as she blew her nose.
"What's the matter?" Merlin asked as he put an arm around her.
"It's just ... ever since I had the baby I don't feel as ... you know .. attractive anymore" Morgana sobbed.
"Morgana, you have birth to our son, it's the miracle of life itself" Merlin reminded her. "You carried him in your body for nine months, you nourish him. It's amazing".
"I suppose" Morgana dabbed her tears again. "Fucking hormones".
"You look the same as before, only this time you're like a tiger with the stretch marks".
"I do rather like being a tiger" Morgana smirked as she bit his lip.
18th November 2020
"So" Mithian raised her eyebrows as they walked back home from swimming.
"So?" Morgana frowned.
"How was it?".
"How was what?".
"You know, the anniversary" Mithian hissed.
"Oh my god" Morgana groaned. "We were about to do it, then Amhar wet the bed so we had to go change him. I thought he was fully night trained too".
"Oh" Mithian grimaced.
"Then he needed a poo and he has a potty in his room but he refused to go on the potty and wanted to go on the toilet, Alfie needed feeding and ... well kids are a really big turn off".
"I know" Mithian sighed. "We dumped Athena in the nursery, bloody good time we had. Or would Amhar wake Alfie or vice versa?".
"He's too young to go in the nursery. All sleeps for babies under six months have to be in the same room as mum and dad".
"You had sex with the baby in the room!" Mithian exclaimed loudly attracting a lot of attention. "Sorry people".
"Shut up" Morgana scowled and elbowed her.
"Sorry" Mithian chuckled.
"You should probably read the lullaby trust website more often" Morgana commented. "Sleepyhead and dock-a-tots are unsafe. As is not having baby sleep in the same room at all times, including when you need to go to the toilet".
"I'll bare that in mind" Mithian resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Costa for lunch?".
"Sure" Morgana agreed as someone held the door open for them, saying "thank you".
"Wonder what their Christmas menu's like".
"I miss pumpkin spiced latte's" Morgana pouted. "Starbucks just have crappy Christmas range".
"The s'mores was gross" Mithian commented. "Did you have the flamingo one".
"Oh, that was so good" Morgana said. "I miss that. Looks like they do hot chocolate for the purple one".
"I thought you were allergic to nuts" Mithian frowned. "An after eight and Turkey sandwich for me".
"Only peanuts" Morgana replied. "I'm fine with hazelnuts. Don't know how I'd survive without Nutella".
"I've heard some people with hazelnut allergies eat it and then stab themselves with their Epi-Pen".
"I did that as a teen" Morgana grinned. "Order me the vegan turkey sarnie will ya?".
"Sure, could you grab a highchair for Athena please".
"Mmm, this is good. I never really liked Turkey much but vegetarian Turkey is amazing".
"I eat it at Christmas, and only Christmas" Mithian grinned as she gave Athena some. She grinned and took the turkey piece, putting it in her mouth as she leant to the side of the highchair.
"She's so big now" Morgana commented.
"I know" Mithian sighed. "I can't believe I'm back at work soon. Time flies".
"It really does" Morgana agreed. "The days and weeks are long but the months and years are short".
"That is so true!" Mithian agreed. "You and Merlin getting married, the feud with Morgause".
"So much has happened that it feels like hardly any time has passed but a shit tonne of it at the same time".
"Remember a time without coronavirus?".
"Those were the days" Morgana sighed. "Did you see the John Lewis Christmas advert?".
"It was cute" Mithian said as she chewed her sandwich. "I mean, I expected better now going to lie, but it was way better than the projected idea of kids singing fix you to their grandmas on zoom. I preferred last years. It was cute though".
"I cried at it, again" Morgana muttered and bowed her head. "It was so sweet! The message behind it too".
"A little love goes a long way?" Mithian asked.
"Exactly. It reminds of ... me and Merlin when we got together again".
"You two are the sweetest" Mithian pouted.
"Did you see the pampers premature baby ad? Please tell me you did cry at that one".
"That one, I did" Mithian admitted. "When the little baby smiles at his mummy at the end though".
"It reminds me of when Amhar was born" Morgana briefly smiled at the memory. "That and Alfie being in NICU. Especially when they said about running down corridors and through automatic doors with the midwives, just got me so hard".
"It's the cutest" Mithian agreed. "Though yesterday was world prematurity day".
"Are you watching I'm a celebrity?".
"Oh bloody hell, it is weird! Especially since we live in Wales".
"I just want to know how they do the celebrity cyclone".
"I don't think they will" Mithian frowned. "It's freezing".
"It's the best part of the whole series though!" Morgana protested. Once they finished their hot chocolates and sandwiches, it began to rain as Mithian and Morgana walked back to their respective houses. For once, she actually needed the rain cover on the car seat as opposed to having it there as a caution to stop Alfie getting splashed. She now understood why parents hated using car seats after fiddling with Amhar's straps for ages with rain pouring in the car. It finally stopped raining after three, so while usually Morgana would stay indoors on rainy days, she put Alfie in the ergo embrace, put her coat and waterproof trousers on along with her wellies.
"No Thomas wellies" Amhar insisted with a pout.
"Look, mummy got you new paw patrol wellies" Morgana exclaimed as she bashed them on the floor. "And they light up. Yeah?".
"Okay" Amhar agreed as Morgana put them over his puddle-suit and locked the door up, going out the gate and walking down the path. They passed the fancy houses as they walked down Monk street, Amhar tightly gripping Morgana's hand as they slowly walked along, crossing over and going into the field.
"YAY!" Amhar squealed as he ran ahead in the field. He jumped in the puddles, slipping and sliding as he ran to a big one he noticed in the centre of the field.
"Amhar, no" Morgana warned. He looked behind her as he continued to run, a wave of panic going over his face as he fell to the ground and landed on his bottom. "Amhar Tom" Morgana chuckled. "Look how muddy you are!".
"Mummy!" Amhar wailed as he began to cry. "I all wet". Morgana shook her head and kissed Alfie's forehead. He grinned at her and opened his mouth loudly giggling. "Not funny Awfie" Amhar pouted.
"That's funny isn't it!" Morgana gasped. "Oh my gosh! Look Amhar, Alfie laughed".
"It. Is. Not. Punny" Amhar scowled. Morgana rolled her eyes and took a video of Alfie laughing to show Merlin, alongside Amhar scowling while covered in mud. "You need a bath" Morgana chuckled.
"No bath" Amhar insisted as he stomped his foot.
"Tell you what, you and Alfie can have a bath at the same time, okay" Morgana offered.
Amhar contemplated for a moment. "Okay". As soon as they got home, Morgana stripped Amhar of his wellies and puddle suit. She hung the clothes up in the porch away from the pram collection (they'd get muddy again soon enough!) and took Alfie and Amhar straight upstairs as she began to run the bath, stripping both of them down. She made Amhar go on the toilet first and put Alfie in his angel care support then put both kids in as it ran.
"Lots of bubbles?" Amhar asked. "I want my space pirate bubbles".
"No kiddo, no pirate ones".
"Why" Amhar pouted.
"Cause they're for big boys" Morgana explained. "Alfie's a baby so can't have them. Should we have his baby ducky ones or hungry caterpillar bath wash?".
"Caterpillar" Amhar declared as Morgana squeezed some bubble bath under the running bath tap.
A/N: I've *almost* caught up with real time now, obviously now is end of March and I've just about started on February, though I am finding lockdown 3.0 rather hard to write!