Straight Gate— Not yet! ;)
The day after you said goodbye, all I did was lay in bed and cry. But after one month I started to move on, and after two I felt alright. Then three months in you were off my mind. In month four and five I was living my life, I was better and didn't have to try. Not to think off you till you reached out and said 'remember that night?'
25th April 2021
As Morgana looked around the room, hungry baby latched on her breast she was slightly surprised at not having the room look the same as usual. Though it did look familiar and she smiled as she found her bearings and recognised it as the master bedroom in their new home. They had been exhausted from the move and she and Merlin fell into bed almost instantly, snores emitting from the room around ten minutes later. Usually it'd take Morgana and Merlin half an hour to fall asleep when they were in bed, usually they'd lie in the dark and chat though they ended up going straight to sleep after turning off the lamp.
They'd unpacked lots of things. A lot of the toys, the beds and cot, dining table, dressing table, sofas. Morgana had finally gotten rid of Gwen's old dressing table and went back to using her own one once more. It had been in storage for a couple of years and if Morgana was being honest she did miss it. Though it didn't feel right to have it when living in Arthur and Gwen's place. None of it did. They said time heals and it really did, though it still hurt. Now the majority of things in their new house consisted of most of Merlin and Morgana's own furniture with a few old bits of Arthur and Gwen's.
Though there was still lots to do. Set up the books on the shelves, register with a new GP service, take a look at the schools around the area and decide on which one is the best, decide how many stair gates they needed and where to put them. The new adventure had begun. In a good mix between still tired and well rested, Merlin and Morgana woke up and went to get Amhar before heading down to the kitchen and dining room. Things were now much more spread out, a larger kitchen being optimal for their growing family as well as having some separate space with actual room around the table (it was becoming rather cramped in their old house).
Morgana started on porridge, blending up a teaspoon of oats for Alfie before making his with breast-milk and the rest of theirs with regular milk while Merlin started on Amhar's warm milk and their coffee. They put Amhar on his 'big boy chair' and Alfie in his highchair with nothing but a nappy on (it was a hot day so it didn't matter, plus the baby would get messy often. He usually has a sliced banana for breakfast though as he now approached nine months Morgana and Merlin agreed to introduce more food though weren't fussed as to whether he ate it or not (after all, food before one is just for fun).
After lunch with the help of the toddler they began to unpack, starting with the books in the living room.
"Okay, that's a lot of books!" Merlin raised his eyebrows as Morgana laid out the majority of her classic books and put them in the order she wanted on the shelf.
"I really need to get back to the books" Morgana sighed. "Hypnobirtbing, practical ways to make your birth better. Won't need that until next year" she said halfheartedly as she tossed it to the side. "How to give birth like a feminist. The positive birth book. Labours of love. Pregnancy for men".
"That was rather helpful" Merlin smiled. "The book you wish your parents had read too".
"Read some more of these" Morgana said. "Oh, did i poop during labour? I can't remember".
"Yeah" Merlin said. "It was a pretty wild night".
"It sure was" Morgana agreed. "Though the best. The night we got our son. Mind over mother is great too. Now I need to get some parenting books too. I've already got the food of love breastfeeding one and the Montessori baby. Then there's Gwen's old ones—cookbooks and whatnot then of course oh crap but you can never have enough books".
"This is why I love you" Merlin grinned as he kissed his wife.
"I know" Morgana smirked. "I know".
"What's next?" Merlin asked.
"Family handprints" Morgana decided. They spread an A3 piece of paper on the dining table, painting Merlin's hand dark blue, Amhar's green next to his, Alfie's baby blue in the middle with Amhar and Morgana on the end in purple. They had a lot of the family hand prints and it was lovely to see their growing family over the years.
"The things for the loft?" Merlin suggested.
"We're keeping the spare car seat down in the cupboard under the stairs and likewise with the buggies that can fit, wrapping paper too… hopefully we can install a coat hanging up thing and shoe tray or box should work. Where do you want your tools and whatnot?".
"The study could work, I could lock it all up in a steel cupboard, i think the loft would be better though".
"Okay, then we have all the memory things too. After the kids are asleep?".
"Sounds good" Merlin agreed. "Well, how about we take a walk?".
"Let's go" Morgana agreed. "Amhar can walk. See the primary schools around here".
"Let's go" Merlin agreed. "But first, suncream". They ensured they were all fully covered in sunscreen and had their hats on, baby fully shaded in the buggy with Morgana keeping an eye on him as she pushed him and they made their way down the road. They headed over towards Camelot primary school going around a little before heading home. They spent their afternoon in the garden, the children loving the new swing and slide and the pirate ship as well as going in and out of the little pool.
"I can't believe he's almost three and soon Alfie will be one" Morgana sighed as she rested her head on Merlin's shoulder. They sat cross-legged by the paddling pool with Morgana holding Alfie inside it while Amhar played.
"I know" Merlin agreed. "Almost nine months. Nine months in then nine months out".
"We should do one of those nine months in nine months out photos" Morgana smiled. "Next week. I can't believe it's been nine months since I had to push a baby out of my vagina. Look how big he's getting!".
"He's still tiny" Merlin shrugged as he stroked his cheek. "I'm so proud of you. So, so proud of you. You've done amazingly, my warrior Queen".
"Even through I broke your finger and pooped on the doctor?" Morgana asked with a slight smirk.
"Even then" Merlin smiled as he kissed his wife.
"I can't believe I didn't know!" Morgana exclaimed. "I know it's common and all since baby literally sits on the rectum when you're pushing, though still".
"Things were rather hectic in the end" Merlin shrugged. "Well, what about number three?".
"I want to do the same again" Morgana decided. "Probably. Gas and air, pethidine injections and birthing pools work well for me. Hopefully a shorter labour. In the end when I had to get transferred the pain was so unbearable and I couldn't stop shaking. Though I think I'd be better if I had the pool and the gas and air again".
"Hopefully, though second biological babies arrive quicker I believe?".
"Then it should be fine" Morgana shrugged. "Imagine if we had a third…four kids total. We'd need a seven seater".
"It'd be nice" Merlin agreed. "I mean I'm the one that wants four kids. Of course it's up to you".
"I guess we just have to wait and see what happens" Morgana winked. "Though I'm scared. Scared about getting depressed again. The sleepless nights, I haven't slept through the night since I was pregnant! Probably even before I was pregnant seeing as it was too hot to sleep and pregnancy insomnia. I mean it's easier now—of course it is, though the fourth trimester was hard. So hard. Mentally, physically. And I do want another one though going back to that place".
Merlin took Morgana's hand in his. "Things will be better the next time. We know more about the virus and all, many people have had their vaccines and whatnot".
"I know, but I don't think it's just that. I don't know what it was. It was like one minute I was ecstatic, over the moon at having the baby. No one said it could be this hard. Though at the same time I didn't know I could love so much, be so happy and sad at the same time and worry so much. Though I'm glad that I had you to help me get through".
"Me too" Merlin smiled. "Come here". Morgana lifted Alfie out of the pool and sat him on her lap as she leant into Merlin's embrace.
"I think our old place was haunted. What do you think?" Morgana asked Merlin as they sat on the bedroom floor.
"No" Merlin frowned. "Though I don't generally believe in ghosts. Then again I do after watching a horror film, so it varies. Any reason why?".
"When you" Morgana sighed loudly. "When you were in the hospital, I remember I was awake at around midnight and I felt this sort of presence. As though I wasn't alone. I mean I had Alfie and Amhar in bed at the time so there was that, Amhar woke up and said it looked like 'mama Gwen'".
Merlin gasped.
"What?" Morgana asked with a raised eyebrow.
"So obviously things were very difficult then" Merlin said. "What if … what if Arthur and Gwen are our guardian angels?".
"Guiding us through the hard times" Morgana completed. "I don't know … I mean they could be? Like I searched things up and there were some signs that do indicate it. So they're always with us even though they're not".
"That's so sweet" Merlin smiled. "Watching over us. Making sure we're safe".
1st May 2021
The heatwave had dispersed and in its place was the typical english weather—cold and rainy. It was rather unusual weather with rumours that it would snow soon too even though it was May. Not unexpected in England, though the snow was slightly so seeing as they only had two days of snow in January that year. Though despite the rain they still had to get on with car shopping, fortunately many of the cars would be inside as they had booked a semi-tight schedule in which they'd thoroughly compare the cars and decide which was best. While they had wanted the Peugeot 3008 it might not have worked as they wanted to be able to fit three child seats in the second row as they weren't going to update the car for a few years (likely four or five) and would hopefully have another baby in that time.
"How is it already May!" Morgana exclaimed. "Plus raining".
"We live in England dear, that's expected" Merlin grinned.
"I know, though it's bloody freezing! I was hoping it'd be warmer for our car shopping but apparently not. So, on our shortlist is: Citroen C5 aircross, Citroen C4 spacetourer, Peugeot 3008 and Peugeot 5008".
"So that's four cars to choose from".
"Yeah, it is" Morgana agreed. "So now to compare the hell out of them, compare them and all that stuff. Though we're keeping yours until you get you're allowed to drive again then will reassess the situation".
"To be fair my car does have a lot of memories" Merlin shrugged. "A lot".
"It should take us around half an hour to forty-five to get to avalon" Morgana said as she opened the gate up and they drove out onto the road. "Though that's without the roadworks. They've been pretty bad lately due to the roadworks so I'm hoping the kids fall asleep".
Half way into the journey Amhar had dropped off and Alfie was awake and happily gurgling at himself in the mirror as they listened to the radio through the traffic, Sara Kay's 'Remember that night?' having just come on.
"Obviously we're not getting rid of your car yet" Morgana said. "Though we've generally had so many memories that when we do eventually, I'm really going to miss it".
"Remember that night?" Merlin said.
"Which one?" Morgana asked with a slight smile as she turned the radio down. "There's been many nights between us. Beginning of 2018, that time in August, night of the accident and all that … any particular one?".
"We've already had our discussion about the beginning of 2018. I was thinking of the other one".
We went for a drive, at 2:30 in the morning I kissed you it was pouring. We held each other tight, before the night was over you looked over your shoulder. Oh I was doing fine, you said "Remember that night?".
"Ohh" Morgana said. "That one. Our drive at two-thirty in the morning".
"To McDonald's. Fries and cold glasses of coke. You kissed me it was pouring".
"I mean I was doing fine. I thought I'd been able to accept that things were that way until you reached out and said remember that night" Morgana sighed as her husband put his hand on top of her's on the gearstick.
"How long did it take you?" Merlin asked. "To get over it and accept things the way they were".
"I mean the day after I did lay in bed and cry a lot. Though after one month I started moving on, two months I felt alright. Three months in you were completely gone and with it being summer in month four and five I was living my life".
"Until I reached out asking remember that night" Merlin completed.
"Exactly" Morgana said as she gently pushed his hand off the gearstick so she could change gears, letting him put his hand back on her's afterwards.
"I found it rather good" Merlin commented. "Y'know, like it was our last hurrah".
"I get you" Morgana agreed. "And it was. Though I can't believe you came over randomly without saying anything!".
"I wasn't sleeping and saw you were online so decided may as well go for a drive" Merlin shrugged. "I guess a part of me knew it shouldn't happen as it wasn't right. If you get me, I see where you're coming from".
"But you're too much of a stubborn mule to admit it" Morgana interrupted with a grin. Merlin's cheek's reddened as he nodded.
"Yeah. Exactly that. Though I wanted you, wanted to have you near even though with all the prophecies and the consequences. I suppose in the end we weren't what we thought we were so we didn't make it along".
"Well that's just us" Morgana sighed as she squeezed her husband's hand. "It was tough, but we got there in the end".
"And now here we are shopping for our new family car" Merlin smiled.
"Exactly. Things weren't always smooth but we made it".
"When do you think we get rid of the housewarming cards?" Merlin asked.
"We're keeping them in the loft" Morgana decided. "We managed to buy our first house together so we're keeping it".
"Here's to all the memories we'll have" Merlin toasted with a disposable water bottle.
"Indeed" Morgana agreed as she temporarily held it before getting her eyes back on the road. "Wait … you remember summer 2018".
"How could I not" Merlin chuckled. "It was the weirdest one ever".
"And how we kept bumping into each other with Will and Morgause on our walls. You don't think they planned it, do you?".
"Nahhh" Merlin drawled. "Though … on second thoughts".
"They'd make a cute couple" Morgana shrugged.
"Morgana!" Merlin protested with a grin. "Though I will say, a part of me sees where you're coming from".
A/N: If anyone wants to see the chapter with the night they're talking about it's stages of loathing chapter 6 :)