[May 2020, Hell]

While Alastor got Husk and Nifty caught up, the others cautiously approached the generous intruder.

Angel Dust investigated first, after zeroing in on the woman's dress. The back bore a distinctive red shape, which looked slightly more like two mirrored hearts joined at the tips than a traditional hourglass, but the symbol was clear, as was her general flamboyance. It annoyed Angel that people rarely realized he dressed colorfully to advertise that he was poisonous, when he'd easily recognize it in someone else. Another spider demon? "Mornin'!"

The woman turned gracefully without an ounce of surprise. "Good morning! Care for some breakfast? Or brunch, I suppose." She scanned the area. At least, he thought she did. The button eyes were unexpected. "I made a lot of food. Thought there were more of you."

"There are, somewhere. Most'a the folks here have erratic schedules or work night shift, like me. I'm headin' to bed, so this is actually my dinner."

"Wonderful, pancakes will put you down for sure. What kind of work do you do so late?"

Angel was mildly offended by the lack of recognition. Maybe she was new? "Angel Dust, ma'am. Hell's number one porn star?"

Terri stared blankly over an extended pause, glad her button eyes couldn't betray the full judgmental body scan she gave. She supposed having six hands was good for something in the porn industry, and at least this stick figure had them to make up for what else was missing. "Interesting." She motioned again toward the table. "Go on." As Angel piled food on a plate, she took a seat next to him. "Work in a lot of snuff porn?"

While this wasn't unusual conversation for Angel, it wasn't the small talk he'd expected from a woman with the sweet voice and prim style of an immaculate 50s housewife. "Uh, not that much," he chuckled. "Why?"

"Oh, I see. Well, I just assumed that you-" She motioned at her own head. "-after, um…"

Angel laughed after connecting the dots. "Ah! Nah. No head-eating." Terri, secretly a huge fan of snuff porn, hummed and tried puzzling out why anyone would watch, then.

Lulled into a sense of security by Angel's success, Charlie and Vaggie entered the kitchen. "Morning!" Charlie greeted her warmly. "Are you a customer, or someone's guest?"

"I'm visiting your friend." Terri knew Charlie knew which one. "Any idea when he may be joining us?"

"I'm sure soon. How do you know him?" Alastor had never had a visitor before, and Charlie couldn't help being curious.

"Family," Terri said vaguely, earning a nervous swallow from Vaggie, who recognized the woman immediately as the one depicted by the doll she'd rescued. It made the situation even more tense and her view of Alastor even more sour. He did that to family?

"You didn't have to go to this trouble-" Charlie began, but Terri waved her off.

"I quite enjoy doing this. Coffee?"

They hadn't remembered the mugs being there, yet suddenly she was pouring coffee into each one. As she poured some creamer, a second unusual sign caught Vaggie's one good eye. When she'd first fallen to Hell, the first few years had been hard. Overpopulation took a toll on the work force and job availability, and two of the underpaid, menial jobs she remembered working were one as a fake carnival fortune teller and another as a barista. Perhaps this was why Vagatha noticed the strange shape forming as the creamer diffused in her coffee. It looked an awful lot like a hand- an ominous, grasping hand.

Vaggie was distracted from this vision when the mysterious woman called out, "Darling! You're just in time for brunch!"

Of course. Terri pretended nothing was amiss, and he was expected to follow suit. Alastor approached with feigned nonchalance as the enemy spread her arms. It was a game of chicken for the ages. As Terri got progressively closer, Al accepted that there would be an air hug or an air kiss. Instead, he was bombarded by a light, breezy, but full-on hug and kiss on the cheek, more alarming than ever after witnessing her shark-like smile moments ago. Why wouldn't he have expected her to go full throttle? Love-bombing had always been her shtick. For a split second, his whole body felt as though it were being burned, or his brain had been stabbed with a cow brand. By the grace of Satan, he was able to continue with an even voice and straight face. "So good to see you, Aunt Terri!"

That removed context while being 'true,' she'd grant him that. She launched straight into banter. "Sorry it took me so long to get here. I had to take a detour to kill a hipster."

"Oh? What did this unlucky soul do?"

"Didn't say 'please' or 'thank you' even once and ate an entire rotisserie chicken with her hands, in front of me."

"Ew."

"With a milkshake!"

"What?"

"I know!"

"And, ah…" Alastor air-boxed her body with his hands. "Whose is... this?"

"Mel Jones," Terri offered cryptically.

"Decided to hang onto this one, did you?"

"Have you seen her?" Terri spun around once. "Then again, maybe it's my inner beauty that polishes it up. She was really a drab, mousy-looking thing in person."

Alastor tried performing politeness even while feeling like he could spit. "You look lovely, Terese." He motioned up and down at her ensemble. "This is nice."

"I am a big fan of the 50s and 60s style."

"Yes, you were very...active around then, weren't you? Didn't you try to get into the hotel business yourself?"

Terri smirked back. That he'd deduced her involvement in the Bates Motel fiasco only confirmed he hadn't stopped thinking of her. "Won't you introduce me to the others?"

"...Everyone, this is my Aunt Terri. Aunt Terri, my business partner, Charlie."

Charlie went in for a handshake, innocently delighted that Al had a family member visiting. "Great to meet you!"

Terri delicately looked back and forth between the two with a tinge of hope. Charlie giggled, waved a hand to the side in the universal 'nah' signal, and pointed at Vaggie. If looks could kill, Alastor's would have. "Ah, haha. No." He pointed in the same direction as Charlie. "Her partner, Vagatha."

Vaggie had played innocent ever since suffering a secret heart attack upon witnessing Terri in the kitchen, but after hearing the words 'Aunt Terri,' she cycled through shades of red, green, and everything in between. The moth managed a wave and stiff smile. "Lovely to meet you, but I have an appointment. May I excuse myself?"

"Awww, but I made this for you!" Terri gushed, making intense eye contact with Vaggie for a moment before clarifying, "For everyone."

Vagatha rapidly came to terms with the fact that she'd inserted herself in a quicksand pit of drama as Alastor made similarly intense eye contact from behind Terri. Defeated, she slumped back into her chair. "It's not that important. Thanks for breakfast!"

"Lot of food," Alastor remarked as they dug in. He and Terri marked the two heads of the table, nonverbally competing for dominance. "How many were you expecting?'

"Mostly I expected-" She wiggled her fingers. "-little nieces and nephews running around getting themselves hungry."

Alastor's smile was a tired, nearly straight line. "Here?"

"In my defense. I didn't expect you to be living in a hotel room at a rehab center."

"To be clear…I work here. And there aren't any."

"Any?"

"Children."

Terri calculated in silent frustration. "How many years has it been?" Yup, there it was. Terri had absolutely hoped there would be some children handy to hold for ransom. Or just because...well...that was what she'd always wanted from him- to continue this bloodline she'd apparently grown so fond of.

"You know very well that I never intended to have any," Alastor reminded her with a subtle note of victory in his voice.

Terri shrugged. "In my defense, I thought in nearly a century you'd've had one accident."

Angel snorted orange juice out of his nose in pained laughter. "Angel!" Nifty exclaimed, looking woefully at the tablecloth she'd have to de-stain.

"Mo-mmmight you dial it back a little?" Al said calmly, all while dwelling furiously on the fact that he was being mocked. She was still bitter that she'd picked the broken toy brokentoybrokentoyBROKEN-

"Ugh. These are jokes. I'm being playful, Bu-" She hack-hammed. "-boy. (Sorry, went down the wrong pipe.)" Terri took a sip of mimosa. "So what's your problem with children anyway?"

"They're loud and want things from you."

Terri leaned forward in her chair and whispered playfully, "I had no idea," earning stifled laughs from the others. "I didn't realize they all start out wanting to be talk show hosts. Or do you just mean regular loud?" She shot him a sassy, yet surprisingly warm look. It only lasted a moment, but threw Al off, delaying the realization that she'd established herself not as 'family' who had 'adopted' him in adulthood but someone who'd known him as a child and possibly raised him.

The brief warmth in her body language wasn't entirely faked. Terri retained a straight face, internally drowning in turmoil. She'd been so sure of what she wanted when she came here, but watching him banter with that insidious yet adorable grin, she couldn't help but see the little boy she'd gone mad over behind the adult's face.

Husker- already completely wrecked at the beginning of the day and downing his second mimosa- interrupted, blowing all semblance of secrecy. "Al, you better not've been pitchin' a fit callin' in reinforcements just cuz your Ma showed up to heckle you about grandkids."

Al was struck silent by rage. Terri paused briefly, then gave a hearty laugh. "Well, he's always been melodramatic," she said, neither confirming nor disputing the 'Ma.' "He's always made a fuss over simple things, even as a child."

Innocently conversational, Nifty said, "Oh, he still does. Boss gave himself a whole case of the vapors the other day cuz he caught Angel cooking eggs in the microwave."

Terri kept hammering home the idea that she'd raised him, so Alastor decided to throw her off kilter by dropping the façade entirely, without warning. "I was abducted by a demon. As I understand it, that's a fairly unusual childhood experience worth being dramatic about."

The troupe fell uncomfortably silent. Many reared in hostile family environments are familiar with the indignity of being trapped at a dining table while their family members loudly make a scene over a meal. Everyone living at the hotel was. Now they resigned themselves to reliving this while Al and his aunt or mother figure hashed it out.

"Adopted," Terri corrected, habitually tapping one finger like a metronome on the table, filling the air with an unspoken 'you ungrateful brat.'

"Nonono." Alastor wagged his finger chidingly. "The word you're looking for is abducted. Please explain what you believe the key difference is," he requested, perching his chin on folded hands and batting his eyes as if expecting to be entertained.

Deadpan, Terri replied, "Both of your parents were already dead. I usually have to kill them first." Alastor blinked twice, then burst into knee-slapping laughter.

Charlie whispered to Vaggie, "Does...does he believe it's a joke? Has he just numbed himself to it? …Or…" She gritted her teeth with anxiety at the worst possibility. "Could he actually think it's funny?"

"How's Pluto doing?" Al continued without explaining what precisely was so funny. "Or has he run out of lives by now?"

"Your cat's dead. I ate it," Terri chirped, grinning pleasantly. Husk scooted his chair just a little bit further away.

In a baby-talk voice, Al mock-praised, "Darling! You actively hunted something instead of waiting for something to crawl in front of you!" Canned applause sounded from the radio as Terri huffed. "For someone who hates cats, she does seem to love when other people drop dead things in front of her while she sits around and does nothing," Al explained to the others, knowing his deliberate mischaracterization of her attempt at being energy-efficient would boil her blood. "In fact…" He rose from his seat and pushed an unhappy Husk and Nifty toward Terri with his shadow appendages as he followed close behind them. "Since you've historically treated the concept of 'child' and 'servant' interchangeably, I thought these might make suitable offerings."

Husk and Nifty made indignant sound effects as they were pushed like human shields in front of the very menace they'd been warned about. Nifty was more baffled and wounded than Husk before realizing her boss was fake-signaling that they were unimportant to him, hoping Terri might overlook them.

Terri regarded the sneering cat demon and turned to Al with a shrug. "Okay, I'll give you this- that's funny. That's a funny gag gift."

"I do know you so well. ...Are you sure this fuzzy bundle of joy wouldn't grow on you?"

Terri huffed, "Who wants something that will only acknowledge you when it suits it, bites you if you try to pet it, and still has the gall to expect you to feed it and pay it respect? At least dogs are loyal and affectionate."

"Who wants some needy, slobbering thing around jumping on you and sniffing you and making the shrillest noise in creation any time you leave the room for two seconds? Cats are independent and have some genuine class. They don't just pretend to be on their best behavior while an audience is watching to win a dime-bin 'best in show' ribbon," Alastor retorted. He could not refrain from allowing a stock cat war cry of 'Mrrrowww! Hisssss!' to burst out of the radio. This sent Husk face down into his own palm, helplessly guffawing. Getting Husker to laugh was the only way to make it more gratifying. This was the best Alastor had felt in the last two days.

Nifty scurried back to the safety of her seat, where she whispered to Charlie, "I don't think this is really about animals."

Charlie, as intrigued as she was appalled, puzzled over the interaction. The banter was hostile and wry, but the barbs indicated deep personal knowledge of one another. And there was something else. Despite the prickly vibes of hostility, flitting through both Al and Terri's nonverbals was the manner of two children who'd had no suitable playmate in a very long time.

As fun as the 'best in show' line was to deliver, Alastor grew sick of the game. "Enough shenanigans, Terese. Why are you here?"

She laughed lightly, but the edges of her sweet voice dripped acid. "I obviously came to make amends, but because you have the emotional capacity of a toaster and decided to act like nothing significant was happening, I've been forced to wait around and do this stupid monkey dance. Kindly don't lecture me about mind games."

"You were planning to do the same thing," Al scoffed. "This was always your signature move. And don't think I believe for a second that's why you're here."

"Why else would I have turned up?" She smiled at him innocently, daring him to dredge up the whole sordid affair over brunch in front of his colleagues and customers.

Charlie gently interjected, "Al, if she says she's here to make things right, at least briefly give her an opportunity to prove she's telling the truth."

"You'll soon see, Charlie, that I'll owe her something for this so-called selfless act of 'forgiveness.' Which means it's not forgiveness at all."

"If you're not interested, fine," Terri said, waving both hands in front of her in a disgusted, dismissive wave. "Anyway, that's what I came here to do, but it's not why I'll be staying." She turned her attention to Charlie. "Your service interests me."

"Oh?" said the princess, not expecting this turn of events.

"A very interesting line of work for you to go into, isn't it, young lady?" Terri remarked, motioning clearly at the Morningstar family portrait in the hall, as elated by Alastor's exceptionally convenient living situation as she'd been when she first discovered it. "I'd love to hear the backstory."

Yes, indeed, he was correct, Al thought bitterly. This psychopath planned to target Charlie, possibly as an indirect path to her father. Terese had always fancied herself a queen, and if she could manipulate the king of all Daddy issues, she may worm her way into de facto royal-hood. She'd have to jump through complicated hoops, but Terri could indeed jump through flaming hoops, barbed wire, and snapping gators if need be to win her 'best in show' ribbon. She was a horrible person, but she was gifted.

"I'm happy to help!" Charlie said, excited and sincere, but casting surreptitious glances at Alastor to gauge how much drama this would cause.

"What's your success rate so far?" Terri asked. Alastor wasn't sure if Charlie could tell, but he knew the princess was being mocked.

"Well, um. We're just starting up. So I guess it's still...in...beta testing?"

"In that case, do I get a free trial period?"

"It is free." At Terri's raised eyebrow, Charlie clarified, "We have...external funding."

Terri restrained herself from betraying her amusement over this ivory tower girl with her silly nonprofit funded by her daddy. "If that's the case, I'm happy to be your lab rat."

Alastor was onto something in his suspicions, but there were additional, unrelated layers of complexity to Terri's interest in the Happy Hotel. Charlotte Morningstar was exactly the type of princess Terri had always hoped would wander into one of her stories. There was a second cultural revolution reflected in fairy tales that she had been looking forward to for years, filled with more redeemable antagonist characters, or at least more sympathetic, relatable ones. Charlie was the poster child for this new philosophy- she believed in forgiveness, and that people were complex, not simply good or evil. Terri admitted it was emotionally moving, but more importantly, it meant that even if she accomplished no additional gain via connection to Charlotte Morningstar, the unusually caring young lady could provide excellent food security all by herself.

Alastor couldn't stop this, for the time being, but he'd keep an eye on Terri. This would probably become a game of who could drive the other one out first, but if so, good luck to her- Alastor had been known to withstand some pretty hostile conditions. Terri produced an 'ugh' of exasperation as Alastor produced a blank scroll. "If that's truly the case, I'm sure we can settle something to keep things civil. I realize it's not my right to force her to go if she's here to use a service," he said, with a skeptical smirk.

"See that? Everything's legal-ese with this boy. Has to define everything and put everyone in a box. Totally emotionally inflexible. I don't know why I tell myself I can reach him. Someone like that just can't respond to love," Terri complained.

"I believe you're how I learned this lesson, ma'am. Charlie," Al warned, "you can't accept anything from this woman without making her sign something, or at least shake on it. No favors, big or small. Nothing. Not help with the garden. Not a ride to the grocery store. Not even chocolate chip cookies. She remembers every single thing you take from her so she can guilt trip you with it when she wants something back. Or make you question yourself after she stabs you in the back, since she's always been so kind. "

Terri looked meaningfully at Charlie while twirling her finger near her head in the 'crazy' signal. "Is that bullet bothering you?" she asked Alastor, pointing at the X on his forehead as if that were the clear culprit behind his 'paranoia.' "I may be able to remove it."

"You fiddled with my brain quite enough when I was a child. No, thank you."

Terri tossed up her hands. "He won't let anyone help him!" At Charlie: "Is there paperwork I should be filling out, that isn't drafted by him?"

"Oh, yes. Vaggie can help you." Vagatha screamed internally as her girlfriend mouthed, 'Would you?' and pointed at Alastor, indicating she wanted to speak with him alone.

Vaggie resigned herself to this fate. "Sure thing. Come with me, ma'am."

As the two women departed, Alastor locked eyes with Charlie. "You're really going to let Vagatha check her in?"

"Don't get upset. I wanted to talk to you alone. Plus that food was amazing. I kind of want more of it. Hehe."

Alastor looked uncharacteristically unamused and glared over Charlie's shoulder at the others. They each piled on one more helping (they'd at least enjoy the food, after suffering through that) and silently scattered.

"Yes, before you ask, that is my-" Al looked like he wished a bolt of lightning would strike him and end his suffering. "-mother. I understand if you're surprised."

"Oh… I assure you, we all believe it," Charlie joked well-meaningly. The resemblance was undeniable.

For once Alastor looked genuinely taken-aback. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

Charlie waited for the stone face to crack and the 'Haha, you believed me! You know I'm not that sensitive!' to make its appearance as usual…but it didn't. "Oh, um… I was just…" She coughed. "Nothing, it means nothing."

"She's not my birth mother," Alastor took care to emphasize. "But she raised me from the time I was...seven? Or so? You can't avoid picking up certain mannerisms, I suppose," he acknowledged, in response to the princess's insinuation.

As far as Charlie could tell from her limited observations alone, the well ran deeper than that, but now was hardly the time to comment. This raised so many other questions. "I'm confused. You've only said such kind things about your mother."

"As you would," Al responded, "if your mother made a habit out of hexing people to sing her praises." Al remained convinced that none of the fond memories or compliments he intermittently paid Terri in conversation came naturally. "Or if she might be listening at any moment."

Those bizarre responses only raised more questions, but Charlie kept the conversation from derailing. "Do you think she's really here to reconcile?"

A low growl emitted from the radio speaker as Al said, "Doubtful."

"But...what else could she want?"

Alastor was unwilling to reveal more information yet. He knew what would happen once the details of the box and voodoo doll came out. They'd all assume he'd passed the event horizon, that there was nothing she could've done to deserve it, and they'd be on the witch's side in no time. He wanted time to prepare. Alastor also wasn't sure how Terri would react if he directly told the princess she might be interested in some political ploy. He played along for now, though it sickened him to say, "I suppose it's possible."

"Was it really an...abduction?" Charlie asked with concern. The princess was such an empathetic soul that she was willing to work with anyone, but she wanted to know how despicable an individual she was dealing with, so she could mentally prepare.

"No. I went willingly," Alastor admitted begrudgingly. "But only because I was deceived. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. I am not proud."

"...I really hope you two can work it out, Al." Charlie sympathized, given her own distant-bordering-on-estranged family relationships. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I do not. I'll just stay out of her way."

[X]

In the intake office, Terri nodded at Vaggie and broke the silence. "Thank you. For letting me out."

The hairs on Vaggie's neck prickled. 'There's two of them now,' she thought woefully. 'Sweet seventh ring, what'll I do with two of them?' "You're welcome."

Terri chuckled. "I see my son has made another enemy. He never could play nice with other children."

"I didn't do this to sabotage him, specifically," Vaggie made sure to clarify. "I did it out of concern for you."

"And thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. But it's fine to say you don't trust him. You shouldn't. Why does he claim to be here? My son would never co-found a rehab facility. I'll bet you he's out there right now telling your girlfriend that I'm his evidence for knowing people can't change." She snorted. "He appeared after it got started, didn't he? After someone else had made the down payments? Why does he claim to be interested?"

"He said he wants to 'watch the scum of the earth repeatedly trip and fall into the fiery pit of failure?'"

"Mmmn. Oh my. That's some projection!" Terri cackled.

"It is definitely complete bullshit, one way or another, but I can't tell yet what his real plan is."

"I can assure you his intentions aren't as pure as wanting to perform charity work or as reductive as wanting a good sustainable source of entertainment. This may be as simple as him wanting to slither his weasley little way into your girl's business. Even if he doesn't admit it to himself." Terri whisper-hissed, "He's not very self-aware."

"Get involved with the business for its own sake? Why?"

"Even if he doubts it, he wants to see if your business succeeds. Because if it does, it will be-" Terri whistled. "-a huge accomplishment. Very impressive. Will lead to instant fame and adoration for the originators. In this case, including himself."

Confused, Vaggie attempted to play devil's advocate. "Heeee already seems pretty successful."

Terri corrected her, "Not exactly. See, he's never had anything of his own. Not even now...he has power only because of his association with me. Why do you think he hates that pinstriped moth-zapper so much? For no reason other than that he's successful. Simple as that." Vaggie was overwhelmed enough by the course the day had taken that she failed to wonder how Terri knew this information. "And when he tries to develop something of his own, it always seems to fail. I feel for him there, I really do. But if he ever does want anything of his own, he can't continue this pattern of trying to seize upon other peoples' success! He's done it before, you know."

"How so?"

"I developed a locally beloved brand of moonshine once. I started the venture because I knew he was bored and wanted something to help out with. Of course, he acted like the whole thing was his own idea. And then he tried to make nice with that woman from the bootlegger family who ran some of the speakeasies."

"...Are you talking about Mimzy?"

"Miriam? Mmn hmmn. Yes, we sold to them. And he started courting her in a cringe-ily transparent attempt to inherit her family business, and everything that came with it. It was a family with a lot of influence. I have to say, I'm seeing a lot of big red flags here, dear," Terri added, referring to the Morningstars.

"You don't seriously believe-" She paused, recalling Alastor's arrival, and paled in the cheeks. "Uhhhh... Well, even if it were true, that would never get off the ground. Anyway, don't you think he has plenty of viable opportunities elsewhere to pull this scheme?"

"Not with the royal family."

"And what makes you think we'd fall for this, especially if you claim he's a blundering dunce?"

Terri wagged a finger. "Oh, I'm just joking at his expense, but I don't underestimate him. Notice how he prances about flailing like a Muppet and enunciating everything as if he's forgotten he's no longer a faceless broadcaster? As if he hasn't noticed that people have stopped performing in large amphitheaters? He wants you to think he's a bad actor. He wants you to think he's a bad actor because in fact he's a good actor. I raised him to be sly, and I suppose I got what was coming to me."

"I appreciate your concern," Vaggie said, but many things about Terri's tale didn't hold up. Why would Alastor have been bored, if he was already involved in radio? Why would he be interacting with Mimzy to this day, if he'd viewed her as a means to an end? But some points seemed viable. She'd keep it in mind. "Thanks for the info."

"My pleasure."

Vaggie found herself profoundly uncomfortable with Terri's button eyes. They made the woman even harder to read than her infamously inscrutable son. But gut feelings weren't always right, she reminded herself. All the facts thus far pointed to Terri being the victim here. The woman had seemed to indicate that she did something worth making amends over at brunch. But surely Alastor had overreacted in casting that binding spell? Vaggie knew who she was dealing with…right?

[X]

After brunch, things settled down on the surface but remained tense all day. Vaggie wasn't very interactive- she seemed uneasy about something and showed no desire to talk about it. Nifty seemed more preoccupied with killing the rodents than usual. By late afternoon, Charlie found Alastor and Terri sitting on opposite ends of the living room, one silently knitting, the other reading, pretending to ignore each other but seeming as though they were subtly warring over the space. When Terri offered to make dinner, Alastor's deer ear ticked. When Charlie first refused, but, after repeated needling, graciously accepted, it ticked again.

Particularly since she didn't seem to be hurtling toward wrathful vengeance or a political coup in the immediate future, Al hoped to last a while before cracking. But it was grueling watching her pretend to be an eccentric old diva who just wanted to cavort in flamboyant costumes, chat pleasantly, and knit, when he knew she was a dangerous, conscience-less schemer. (Ironic canned laughter.) It especially burned Alastor when he caught her looking at him with those unreadable eyes.

As a full day passed, Charlie was frustrated that Terri transparently used her hotel's amenities while refusing to engage in therapy at all. (That afternoon, Terri had lounged poolside, cucumbers over her buttons. "They heat up in the sun," she'd jerk-splained when asked why. "I've been in the dark 90 years. I need vitamin D.") However, the princess saw something very different when she noticed Terri watching Alastor. Charlie suspected that in her mind's eye, Terri still saw a hyperactive little boy running around. She observed that the woman's smile would warm up just the faintest bit in response to Alastor's laugh.

Terri would've been chagrined to know Charlie was reading her like a book. The memory of child Alastor haunted her. She thought she might be willing to actually make amends if he showed interest, and only partly because of fond memories. Alastor was absolutely correct- meeting the princess had launched her into scheming mode by default. And of all the people here, Alastor was second only to Charlie in sheer usefulness for winning the prize the witch with the goddess complex desired- a populous country filled with people who detested God, aka potential 'worshippers.'

Terri decided to kill two birds with one stone. She'd get to know the troupe and surely attract Alastor's attention once she spent too long around whoever he was most fond of. Then perhaps he'd talk to her, and she could fawn or threaten depending on how he reacted. Clearly he found the princess ridiculous, and he and the moth despised one another. Only a few more. Process of elimination.

"So how long has he kept you trapped?" Terri asked Husker as he served her a drink of her own moonshine, probably believing he was sabotaging her. Husk glowered. "No need to be secretive. I know how he works. You can't leave, can you?"

"If you're trying something, know I've been told you wouldn't be any more pleasant to work with."

Terri snickered. Her question was answered- that was all she cared about. "I'll let it be, Fluffy."

Husker seethed quietly as Terri proceeded to talk his ear off. She told him how years had been added to her life, such was her glee hearing humans were complaining about a few months of isolation and calculated the statistical improbability of murder hornets migrating from Japan to North America (almost nonexistent- wasn't that hilarious?!). She opined about game strategy, statistics, genetics, chaos theory, baryon asymmetry, Maxwell's demon, and all other sorts of lofty nonsense. "Lady, I hate to tell you this, but no one cares about any of that," Husker groaned after a gulp of whiskey, as he struggled to competitively match her. It perturbed him that she was now almost three shots into neat moonshine and still coherent. "I've been through some ranting in my time. Although usually I can sort of understand it."

"Well, excuse me. Normally I can't discuss anything beyond the level of the average 12-year-old, at best. Let me have my fun."

Aha! Even though she was putting away that moonshine like it was a wine cooler, Terri was finally starting to get tipsy and slip up. Hmmn, Husker thought. He would have to take Alastor's claim a bit more seriously.

Terri noticed her lengthy interaction with Husker earned her some side eye from Alastor, but no action.

"Off to cause mischief?" Terri called to Angel Dust on a separate occasion, knitting in front of the fireplace as he left for work in the evening.

Angel clicked his tongue and finger-gunned. "You got it."

"Did you always work in this business? Or did you used to handle different kinds of guns?" Terri asked curiously.

Angel froze, chuckled uneasily, and squinted. "Why're you asking?"

"Good at reading body language," she answered with an innocent smile. "Why not go back to that? You liked it better, didn't you?"

"...Financial reasons."

"As long as you're satisfied," Terri said, seeming to vaguely insinuate that there might be something she could do about it if he wasn't. "Have a good night at work. Stay safe."

No reaction from Alastor indicating concern for this one's safety. Sheesh, the poor spider... He seemed friendly enough to Alastor, after all.

On yet another occasion, Terri observed with interest as Nifty tried getting another tenant named Baxter to acknowledge her, to no avail. "Don't be down, sweetie," Terri told her. "There's no reason for anyone to reject you. You just need help finding the right person. Luckily, I'm a seasoned matchmaker."

Nifty knew she should be hesitant around this woman, but she ached for companionship. "Yeah?"

Terri smiled sweetly. "I'd love to help." She produced...a post it note with a phone number and an address on it? Terri's super-processor-like mind was capable of searching Hell's entire phone book. "Track this boy down. He's perfect. His name's Norman."

"Charlie has been discouraging me from the…um…stalking."

"No, no, he'll love it. You'll have a blast stalking each other all around the city. You'll give him a challenge!" Hopefully it would distract the elf for a while, since she seemed awfully close to Alastor.

While memorizing the heck out of the number and address, Nifty asked, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Isn't the princess keen on us doing good deeds and helping each other?"

This was finally enough to draw Alastor in. Hmmn. So her radar still worked after all- he did care about this one. "What are you up to with my employee, Terese?" he asked once Nifty had departed.

Terri disregarded the query entirely. "Hello to you, too, darling. Care to explain why I'm jumping through hoops for your attention after you so enthusiastically freed me?"

"That was Nifty and Vagatha's error-"

"You were holding that doll," Terri interrupted. Alastor caught his ears folding back and quickly righted them. "Which surprised me, because you were too stubborn to loose me even to avoid being mauled and shot." They both silently remembered 1933.

"How could I possibly have let you out then?"

"I believe the strongest barrier keeping me from getting out was that you wanted me in. If you hadn't, I think I could've broken free. Adrenaline rush. Parents lifting cars off children and all that."

Ha! Alastor was certain the sound of his death was like comedy hour for her. The trooper mercifully shot him once Al clearly wouldn't have survived the mauling. Imagine the atrociousness of the damage for a hardened officer who'd just caught a known serial killer to act so humanely- there was Terese's aesthetic for entertainment. It was his, too, Al acknowledged, but not when it came to family. "Spare me your melodrama!" the deer demon jeered. "You'd have cheered on the police dogs, then trapped my soul before I could get away. It wouldn't be the first time you let me take a beating to bring me to your side."

The noises became funny eventually, but not that day. As she'd done with the radio, Terese managed to influence the outside world due to the box's proximity to the scene. Accessing as much information as possible, she'd waited until the trooper shifted to the ideal position and malfunctioned the pistol. "Wha-?! Couldn't have done that if I'd tried!" he'd exclaimed over peacefully-dead Alastor, whose forehead bore a perfect dead-center bullet hole, as the dogs continued mercilessly ripping.

"Believe what you will," Terri said tersely, keeping this to herself. "My point is, you must have been quite shaken by something." Maybe she could use it against him.

"A heaping helping of your moonshine, handed to me by someone who didn't know better, after a very uncomfortable day." He wouldn't confess that he'd run into Bert, and that when Al had seen Bert last, she'd been the only person available for comfort, so drunk Al had repeated the pattern.

"That's all it took?" She hummed, feeling her suspicions were confirmed. "I've wondered how I survived your little trap. But after watching you cuddle that doll-" She tapped one button eye. "-I think it's partly because you still love me."

"Is that all you want me to say? I have no qualms about lying. I do it all the time," Alastor retorted quickly, swallowing a lump in his throat.

Ugh. Fine. Maybe he'd bite eventually, but for now, she'd stick with the intimidation plan. Terri noticed Al's lazy eye drifting- a sign of anxiety- as his good eye fleetingly glanced at Nifty, who was now chatting with Husker. Clearly he needed that one for support. She launched into a new conversation to help her steer toward the topic: "I must say, that radio show of yours became much more interesting as time went on. I actually began listening regularly." She'd always listened regularly, but she was proud, liked to make others constantly work for her approval, even if she secretly loved them to pieces already. Alastor scoffed, but she went on to ask pointedly, "Got hungry, did you?"

"What's that?"

"You spent an awful lot of time reporting on your own murders. Dropping subtle hints, even. Now, I know you're as pompous as they come, but proud as you are of yourself, you have more common sense than that. You would only have done that for recognition because you needed to, not just because you wanted to. Regret taking from me now?"

"Would have been a nice thing to warn me about," Alastor noted irately of the toxic side effect of the supernatural abilities he had inherited. He had not understood quite how literally she had needed fear or respect to sustain herself until it was too late.

"At least now you see my side. Not so fun, is it? Being hungry all the time? I guess you thought it should have magically become easy for me because of the 'power of love'? Or because mothers are perfect?"

"I can control it around people I think don't deserve to be hurt."

"Hmmn…. Now that sounds like a line that could shift arbitrarily at any moment. I like how you did that. In any case...you're only dealing with a fraction. Plus-" She smirked. "-I see Mr. Ethically Superior found a long-term candidate of his own to leech off of."

"I don't know what you're referring to."

Terri pointed across the room at Nifty. "That. She adores you."

"I think that's an exaggeration. We are friendly."

"That is the most precious, devoted kid sister figure I've ever seen. You've done well."

"That is my employee."

"Is that what you're calling them? The same person who disparaged me for having the puppet servants enslaves conscious people?"

"They are not slaves."

"So they can find employment elsewhere whenever they want to?"

"They are indentured servants." Terri gasped with laughter. "At least they understood what they were agreeing to! They got it all in writing," Al argued.

"And I'm sure it was all spelled out clear as day. No manipulative language. Nothing too broad. No fine print? Youuu think you're so much better than me, but you're no less slippery. You just use a piece of paper as a prop to make yourself seem more professional and trustworthy. Plus you're boring."

"Boring?"

"Completely inflexible. No artistry to it. No risk. All good games involve risk." Seeing his facial expression remain largely unchanged, she hummed curiously, got right up in his face as he resisted the urge to flinch, moved her pointer finger to his eye and...tapped it. "Aha! Glass!" She quietly applauded. "Very good! But how are you doing this?" she asked, miming his broad, impenetrable grin. "I'd love for you to teach me this trick. I have such difficulty getting their smiles to stay on."

This almost cracked Alastor, but he realized too late that that was part of the point. His thumb had automatically moved slightly downward on the surface of his cane, and although he couldn't tell the specific direction of her gaze because of the button eyes, he felt certain that she had tracked the motion.

Able to see things that others could not, Terri could tell that there were...dials on the cane. Interesting. She decided to run some tests. "You know… I've decided I like her. I think I'd like to take you up on that offer you made at brunch the other day." Alastor's thumb hovered over a dial impatiently. "You can replace her easily, can't you? Quite boy crazy, isn't she?"

Prevented from using the dial by her gaze, Alastor hissed through gritted teeth in fury, "Don't you try to turn her into your breeding cow."

"Oooh!" Terri offered more quiet applause. "Another fun toy you have there! What would happen if I did ask for her? What would you give to keep her?"

"Oh, no, no, no." She had taught him well. "What do I get in exchange for her?"

"Darling." Terr smiled like a shark. "I think you know we're playing a different game, now." Al could not quickly conjure a witty retort. Terri's nose twitched as she sniffed the delightful scent of intimidation. "What would you give to keep her? I know you want to."

Al redirected, "What are your intentions for her? And Charlie?"

"Charlie? Please. You don't care about that girl."

"I wouldn't wish you on anyone."

"Interesting remark, because I think-" Terri pointed her elbow at the Morningstar family portrait. "-you walked in here, took one look at that thing, and 'Other Father'ed the crap out of her to make a political connection. Sounds like I taught you some pretty good life skills. Where's my thank you?"

"We are not alike," Al asserted, trying to contain his outrage.

"So you do care about her? Geez, I guess you weren't joking back when you used to pester me about how you wanted a little sister. Do you go around collecting them?"

"Can't you take Husk?!" Al hissed in exasperation.

"What would I want with your shitty Bert replacement?"

A flash of embarrassment crossed Alastor's face as he was harshly called out.

"I never understood your attachment to him... He was only cruel to you."

That was an oversimplification. "He may not have deteriorated quite so completely if it weren't for your interference," Alastor accused, referring to knowledge he had gained before locking Terri up.

"That's probably why he stayed so long. If he hadn't been chained to the armchair, bottle in hand, he'd have disappeared shortly after his wife died." She wondered if she'd hit too hard for a moment, as her son ground his heel angrily into the ground strikingly like her. But she was here to humiliate and intimidate, correct? So she hit harder. "Oh, don't play dumb. You've figured this out. That's why you keep the replacement hammered all the time. So he won't escape."

Alastor had nothing to say, feeling as though he were looking up at Terri from six feet deep in a pit of rage and embarrassment.

Terri was pleased to see her verbal venom had done its job. "You've built a little family and want them to respect you? Let's test it out. To keep the girl, all I want from you is to admit that you'd be powerless without me." She knew this would inevitably raise questions of how the power was obtained, and so did Alastor.

"I can guess what you want Charlie for. What use would you have for Nifty?"

Terri's foot tapped slowly. She refused to answer. Alastor remembered what she had noted about him 'finding one to leech off of.' Perhaps she thought it would be fun to starve him out so he'd be forced to relinquish his power to get rid of the side effects. She was right about the radio program- he'd needed recognition due to the way her horrible power had warped him. Just as he needed others' respect or fear now. And Nifty provided quite a lot of that. Plus, she was...pleasant. He'd rather she not come to harm. Alastor held out his hand, cringing, wishing he didn't have to subject himself to this. "I do that and you don't target her? Even if she shows interest, you'll decline her?"

"Fine." Alastor had slipped up in his verbiage. As far as Terri was concerned, she was now promising only that she would not attempt to take Nifty for herself or influence her directly, not that she'd never find some less direct way to steer Nifty away from Alastor.

"This is all you want... for now?"

Terri was amused they were on the same page, but not surprised. "For now." She looked at him smugly but with a strange wistfulness. She'd prompt him one more time. "You know, I miss our games. You could apologize and maybe-" she began.

"I have no regrets," Al interrupted her severely.

Terri scowled. She couldn't decide which possibility she would like less- that he knew exactly how horrible what he did was and truly didn't care, or that he didn't and she might be tempted into forgiving him if he showed remorse upon learning the facts. She held off providing details for now, deciding that she would investigate later. As much as she hated continuing to make his blasted deals, she knew she'd have to force him to cooperate somehow. Terri shook his hand and waited for the green glow. "She's safe. Now go be a good boy and tell the truth."

[X]

"We need to talk. About...that woman."

As she was ushered into the business office by her colleague, Charlie rolled her eyes. She had been waiting for this. "What's the complaint?"

"You don't sound like you're going into this with a serious attitude."

"Weird criticism coming from you."

"I'm not just raising this out of personal distaste-"

Charlie almost snorted.

"I'm raising it because I'm positive that woman is not here to use a service."

"I doubt anybody really is at first, Al. I'm not as naïve as you think. I get that to a certain degree I'm gonna need to sell her on it."

"I mean she's likely to cause trouble. Not simple inconvenience. Real threats. Possibly for the fun of it, but I suspect there's a goal. Or, more likely, a few parallel contingency plans. She's disorganized, but she can make it work to her advantage if it makes it harder to guess what she wants."

The door was wide open. The edge of her mouth twitching, Charlie slowly removed from her jacket pocket and raised her '#projection' therapy flashcard. Al was not amused. "Al, I've got to say, I'm not seeing a big cause for concern. You're describing literally anyone else down here. What makes her unique?"

Al found himself grinding his teeth. "This is not the same."

"You sure? Because I'm seeing a lot of parallels here. Truthfully, I think," Charlie sing-songed, "that you two don't get along because you're too much alike!" Charlie's amusement was able to persist only because of how skilled Alastor was at maintaining a poker face, and how little information he'd revealed during their earlier conversation.

"We're not comparable."

"How's that?"

"She's worse than a dealmaker." This caught Charlie's attention. Her facial expression contained some legitimate interest now. Alastor continued. "There are dealmakers, like me. We make propositions, often with fine print. It may be misleading, but in the end the choice to accept is left to the other person. If they're impulsive or overly trusting or have bad reasoning skills, that's their own problem. That is not identical to this. This person can occasionally be wrangled into making a deal, but she prefers to play games. She plays games with people who don't know they're playing. She does favors that aren't invited and then coerces the recipient into paying her back."

Charlie followed why this woman's alleged strategy was a bit worse than garden-variety deal-making. But she also saw red flags stemming from Alastor's strikingly out-of-character decision to straightforwardly malign her. Unaware of all facts, Charlie couldn't help but view the sabotage as one-sided and distasteful. "So...say...acting like you're doing 'charity work,' for example? Making offers of help and very dramatically not forcing a formal deal in order to seem cooperative?"

The tension escalated. "Princess."

"Al, come on. You literally claim peoples' souls."

"Ah ah ah!" Alastor exclaimed with a wag of his finger. "Technically no! I claim their servitude. They could construct other deals to free themselves. And do you see any effect on Nifty or Husk's personality or free will in everyday life?" Charlie offered a frowning nod. "This creature," Alastor continued, with strong bitterness, "does literally claim souls. She disrupts your senses, dilutes your sensibilities, enslaves your emotions, takes as much control of your psychology as possible. Debases you for her own gain or simply her amusement. I people-watch for amusement. Sometimes I throw some fuel on pre-existing fires. She lights fires herself. She cracks whips, makes people perform like circus animals. You need to eject her. Now!" Al snapped forcefully, becoming aware only at the very end of his tirade how well he'd winded himself.

This finally drew Charlie's ire. "You know very well that's against everything I stand for."

"Charlie-"

"Honestly, this behavior is really unflattering. I'm surprised at you. I know you can be more tasteful."

A few zaps of radio interference shot dizziness through him. Terri's intentions were coming to fruition. Charlie clearly wouldn't be moved until the barest honesty was laid before her. For the first time, Alastor hated her, for just a second. Then he met her eyes, even though it was uncomfortable, to say, "She's here to hurt us, Charlie. There's nothing else she can possibly gain. ...And she can do it, too."

Behind the motionless face and the steady voice, Charlie spotted something in her business partner's eyes"You're... afraid of her," she ventured carefully.

"She'd like to believe that. She's here to try to intimidate me."

"Why?"

"You don't need to know that, but I guarantee nothing but unnecessary conflict will come from having her around."

"Maybe if you tell me I'll understand better."

Explaining the full details to Charlie would further complicate matters, so he found a single point to focus on. Kill two birds with one stone- placate Charlie and Terri at the same time. "My power comes from her. ...All of it." That felt like being gut punched. Wait, wait. "Actually... I rescind that," he said with a small note of victory in his voice. "Some of the voodoo I learned myself. And since I last saw her, I've supplemented it." That felt just a little bit better, and it was true.

Charlie squinted. "Al… Be honest… Did she give it to you, or did you take off with it?"

"We made a deal. And I honored my parts, but she dishonored hers, repeatedly. That's likely how I ended up with so much power. Every time she broke major promises, I earned more. Even though I did everything she wanted. I always gave her whatever she wanted-" He fake-coughed and kept himself from flying off the tracks. Composed again, he finished, "I did not cheat that woman. I worked for what I have now."

There was less radio effect overlaid on Alastor's voice than usual. Charlie thought he might be sincere. "You're suggesting she wants it back? Is that it? She's threatening you?" Stubborn silence. "Do you need me to arbitrate? Do you want me to inform her she's not to talk to you?"

If anything, this seemed to make Al much, much more aggravated. "That would be exactly what she wanted. She wants to make me look weak."

"You're not weak if you have a valid reason to be afr-" Shadowy tentacles twisted up the wall before she finished the offending word. Charlie grew frustrated. Did he want her help or not?! "Look. I'm not ejecting anyone from the premises without a reason. You either need to be clearer about why you're concerned, or you need to give it up, keep your distance, and let me know if she actively harasses you." After a long pause, she asked, "What did you do?"

"Excuse me?"

"You won't tell me about the conflict, so I have to ask if you have a role you won't admit to. Did you provoke her?" Charlie just wanted the whole story, in the spirit of fairness, but she sounded more accusatory than she intended.

Al's teeth gritted into a smile as stiff as the one he wore in combat. "If anything, Princess, I was understanding for a long time. If you want to admonish me for anything...it should be for being naïve. I may jab at you all in good fun, but I know it's not that you're foolish, it's that you're patient. But I have faith that you will learn eventually." Alastor swiveled on his heel and left the office before he could betray any more annoyance. But then, an afterthought. "And Charlie!"

Charlie had already begun to return to the dining room but stopped.

Al turned. They stood apart with a few yards of hallway between them as he delivered incomprehensible advice in a completely no-nonsense tone. Al raised one finger- "Keep an eye on your girl"- and a second finger- "for sin's sake, try not to start singing" - and a third- "and-!" His radio speaker interrupted and finished for him with a blaring, 'Whatever they offer you don't feed the plants!'