Vash is confronted with too many thoughts at once, and tries to regain some normalcy.

...xXx...

The day was warm. The sanctuary waters were warm. Emerald scales were warm.

His heart was much warmer.

A dizzying fog had fallen over the leopard merman for the remainder of the day as he crept back to his den. His mind was elsewhere—having swam off on a journey of its own through the cerulean waters, chasing the past afternoon like a spear to prey. Vash startled as his shoulder snagged on his surroundings, sending him tilting sideways, and he idly corrected himself. He couldn't see the shimmering grasses or coral in front of him, enclosing him. Only two bright amethyst eyes as they gazed at him from close by. Too close.

Vash bumped into a clump of coral yet again. Rubbing his forehead, the male sighed for the umpteenth time. He slowed to a stop and sunk into the grass beneath him.

What am I doing?

After he and Roderich managed to untangle themselves they shared a quiet meal together. The waters between them were affectionate and their scales tender as they leaned against each other. Occasionally, Roderich would lean over and press kisses to his shoulder, ear, or cheek. The blond shuddered every time under the touches, and if the brunet got too distracted then Vash would nuzzle into his face to placate him before turning back to their meal.

Time seemed to stretch on forever, it was over too soon, and it was . . . nice.

The spotted male had spied something that ruined the moment, though, and he snuck his hands over the little objects, stealing a few for himself. With the excuse of needing time to think about everything, Vash had swam away after giving Roderich one more kiss. He was grateful the other merman understood.

I'll see you tomorrow.

It was so, so odd how Vash had become accustomed to the purple male's voice in his head, to his melodic words, his constant presence, his gentle caresses. He'd never felt so torn in his whole life.

And looking at the collection of faintly silver pearls in his palm made his soul ache all the more.

On one hand, Vash was drawn towards Roderich almost as much as it seemed the other was to him. He enjoyed spending time with the iridescent male. Roderich was kind and thoughtful, he looked after Lilli, and him, and hadn't asked for anything in return. Vash had been under the assumption that all of those from the Sapphire Caverns pod, outside of Diedrich himself, were callous and ruthless. Much larger than him and just as willing to defend their territory. Not that Vash had ever tried to encroach, unlike a few of them. Roderich had swept away most of those notions with a simple flick of his shimmering tail.

On the other, he wanted to slink back to his cubby and bury himself into the sand.

Vash had been alone for so long now, he'd forgotten what it was like to have a normal conversation with someone else. He had Lilli, yet it wasn't the same. She was young and babbling and oh so precious to him, but it was different.

Vibrant green eyes tracked a small shrimp as it scuttled in front of his nose, little antennae twitching.

His mother had loved to talk. She'd loved to chat with him and tell him memories, sing him songs, act out tall tales of the daring hunts of their ancestors. After years without her, the image of his mother's smile and scales faded the quickest, but not her voice. Most of all he missed her voice. He wished Lilli could have heard her sing.

His favorite tale his mother would tell had always been the one about a young, lonely mermaid named Io. She had held herself against an entire human armada set out to capture their kind. All of the other merfolk had swam deeper and scattered, leaving her alone. They had scorned her bravery, called her cruel names, and yet she stayed on the surface. With only the strength of her voice and will, Io had sung for the ships, loud and imploring them to return home. Her song was so powerful that even the stars had been swayed by her plea, and they gathered every cloud in the sky to create a storm unlike any before. The ships were driven home by mountains of water and gales of wind so fierce that it was said even those below in the depths could hear their howling. Io had returned to her people and was hailed as a hero through the centuries.

Vash loved that story. Like him, Io had no magic, and had been outcast because of it. Despite that, though, she saved the oceans and her people. She did what was right. He would beg his mother to sing him Io's song before he would sleep.

He hadn't told Lilli of Io. He would, some day, once he could bring himself to ever utter a single note from her song again.

Vash wondered if Roderich knew of the tale. Maybe that was something more they could share together.

Too in his own head, Vash startled at the sudden swish of kelp arcing above him. The male pressed himself flush to the grass and ducked his head, ears twitching towards the sound of voices. He didn't dare move; confident in his natural camouflage.

Between the thick strands of kelp and arching branches of pink coral, Vash spied the sight of two merfolk settling themselves in a nearby clearing. Their tails rested against each other, arms holding one another, hair curling through the waters together.

Vash blinked. It was Diedrich and Alexius.

The pair were speaking quietly, and from their intimate positions Vash assumed they were planning to—well, he should probably leave. Once the shock faded over this new discovery, the spotted merman carefully reached out a hand to start creeping away, when he caught waves of their conversation with his sensitive ears.

"You still haven't told him? After all this time?"

Vash stilled at Alexius' somber tone.

"No," Diedrich murmured back, back facing where the leopard male was hiding. "I haven't found the right moment to."

"Asha."

Vash felt his own skin tingle at the tender word. Wow, he really did not know they were mated. Though, he supposed he didn't know much about the other alphas in general. He quieted his racing thoughts and heartbeat as he buried himself in oscillating greenery.

"I know," Diedrich continued, slightly louder than before. "No one thinks he has more right to the truth than I do."

Alexius hummed, and Vash could feel the vibrations several tail lengths away. "Then why haven't you told him?"

There was a long pause. "I can't."

Golden arms tightened around the obsidian-tailed merman. "I could help. We could tell him together. It might soften the blow if he heard it from both of us."

Diedrich slumped, his pelvic fins patting across Alexius' hip. The bright male soothed his darker companion with a long kiss.

Vash's ears burned at the guilt that he should definitely not be here. He reached out to grab a fistful of grass and inched forward with the waving of kelp. As he reached out again, he heard the two break apart, and his entire being froze.

"Roderich will understand."

What? Alexius' words had him sinking into the moss again. Vash looked over to see the other alphas still close, still quiet. He'd never seen Diedrich so . . . small.

"Athala would want her son to know of her," Alexius continued, his many fins laying atop the other. "To speak of her, and sing of her."

Athala? Vash thought. Why does that name sound familiar?

"My sister would be very upset with me otherwise," Diedrich said. He sighed as Alexius hummed once more. "Roderich is going to be upset with me, too."

Vash felt his scales prickle.

"We'll handle it, when the time comes. Together." Alexius nosed into the other male's neck, and they said no more.

Vash waited a brief moment before crawling to the other side of a coral cluster. As soon as he was behind it and out of possible sight, he flicked his tail and was gone.

...xXx…

"What to do, what to do."

Vash paced around the inside of his cubby, mindlessly circling the small space.

He had made sure to place a barrier between himself and the bonds in his mind so Lilli and Roderich couldn't sense his distress—and he was distressed. Dark emerald eyes kept glancing over to where he'd hidden his now collection of pearls, within a small spiral shell he'd found outside and under the pile of discarded fish bones of his meals. The palmful of silver pearls held his current worry. The ones he'd stolen away from Roderich.

His tears.

Vash swallowed a rumble in his throat. They may have resolved their small misunderstanding, but the knowledge that his words had brought the other male to tears ate him up inside. Roderich may have been quick to forgive him, but the leopard merman would make sure to never upset the other like that again. Stars, his heart hurt just thinking about it.

And now there's this, Vash thought to himself, floating to a halt. What am I supposed to do?

Vash didn't know how to react to the new information he'd learned. That Roderich's mother was Diedrich's sister. That the alpha was keeping secrets about his own mother from him. Roderich didn't deserve to be lied to about something so important. He didn't.

But it wasn't his place to say. He didn't even know the reasoning behind the secrecy, or what else there was to tell!

Vash clawed at his hair and growled.

This was all too much to take in—he was overwhelmed. Vash wasn't good at dealing with others. He'd grown up with his mother, and then just Lilli, and had no idea how to handle inner pod conflicts. It wasn't even his pod, yet he was still upset!

Of course I'm worried, he argued inwardly. We're here now, anyways, with them. Vash sighed as another thought jumped him. Are we going to stay? Aren't we planning to return home after that beast disappears?

That seemed unlikely. There was no way to keep the shallows safe from a horror like that. At least, there was no way for him to keep it safe.

With a huff, Vash turned over and flopped into the sand. Staring up at the ceiling of his cubby, the spotted male let his thoughts roam over everything that had happened lately.

Leaving home for the first time. Meeting Roderich after hearing his song. Fighting off the tiger shark. Encountering the rest of the Sapphire Caverns pod. Being left behind in a shipyard. Getting attacked by a monstrosity in the night and having the ship fall on them. Roderich . . .

Vash righted himself and paddled over to the spiral shell. He tipped the pearls into his hand; four silver, one black. Cold.

Roderich.

There was a brief pause before he felt a tingle over their bond. Yes?

Vash slid the pearls back into the shell, careful to hide the shineless one under the cover of tears.

Would you bring Lilli to me tomorrow? Vash asked, already scanning around his small space, measuring the lengths with his tail. I can look after her myself.

A brush of warmth tickled the back of his mind and he shuddered. Of course. Vash let out a breath in relief, then perked up at the other's smooth voice in his head once more. Are you upset with me?

No. No, I'm not. Vash shook his head, then rolled his eyes at himself. I just really miss having her near me. He hesitated, then added, I still need time to process everything that's happened, so you might not see us for a few days. I'm sorry.

Several thoughts too many raced through his mind before Roderich replied. Vash.

Yeah?

You don't need to apologize. The rumble in his mind made his heart race. He could feel it, as if the male were purring right beside him. I understand, darling. Let me know when you're ready. I'm here.

Vash's cheeks burned, and he was thankful the other couldn't see him. Thank you.

Another purr rolled through him then, and it made Vash gasp. He sank into the sand, arms outstretched, belly flat, and he shuddered heavily. It took him a moment too long to realize he was also purring along. The sensation lasted several heartbeats longer, then Vash put up his walls once more, and he was alone. In mind, in body, purring to himself in the cubby.

It was still daytime. The sun was high, high above the sanctuary, its rays still magically warming the safe waters.

Vash poked his head out and looked at the teeming life around him. The abundance of corals and grasses and fish swimming to and fro. The vibrancy reminded him of home.

Home.

He'd made up his mind about one thing, at least.

Spying a translucent little ball resting on the red rock less than an arm length away to his right, Vash reached over and cupped the small jelly-like creature in his hands before ducking back inside. The small orb flickered a faint yellow in the darker interior.

"I could use some light in here," Vash murmured, more to himself than the spirit. He still felt silly, even as he settled the small creature by his shell and bones. The leopard-tailed merman unhooked his silken weave and folded it on the sand as he muttered softly, "More so the company."

As he turned towards the exit the walls of the den suddenly illuminated a gentle yellow. Vash glanced back to see the little wisp beaming at him, its small tendrils dragging its form across the sand until it was resting upon his weave. The odd thing seemed satisfied enough to stay there, shimmering brightly in the corner.

Vash snorted and turned back to the exit.

Sliding outside, the sun-filled waters greeted him warmly. It was still cooler than his shallows, but he supposed he'd get used to it. Vash pulled himself up to the top of the redstone dome and paddled upward to get a better view of his surroundings. The foliage was thick around the sides and back of the cubby, and corals and grass laid mostly between him and the central towers.

Vash was already forming a list in his mind of items he needed to find. The scales along his spine quivered in anticipation. Good. It was good to have a purpose he devised for himself. It was as close to normal he'd felt in some time.

Firstly, he needed to stop purring.

...xXx...

A calm chapter this time around.

Happy MerMay 2020! Stay safe, everyone!