A Girl's Second Best Friend
Please note I do note condone the use of guns. This is just... really weird humor. And also Jade.
I guess I'm a bit of a funny story
A girl who grew up in such isolation
But when this game starts to get gory
You can count me in for some devastation
They say that a dog is man's best friend
And I guess my dog was mine
But there's a second one on which I can depend
And for now it works just fine!
A good old-fashioned rifle - it's a girl's second-best friend!
My weapon always seems to have a few bullets to lend!
I'm a good shot in a pinch and always have some lead to spend...
So come on, grab your gun, we've got some impish flesh to rend!
These imps are getting way too fast
I really hope that's not my fault..
But our mistakes are in the past
And I'll bring these minions to a halt
No matter how long it might take!
Now grab some ammunition...
And trudge through snow and downy flake -
It's family tradition!
A good old-fashioned rifle - it's all a young girl could need!
Remember, in the end of the world, the armed ones always lead!
The monsters get no mercy - not that they would ever plead...
'Cause I'm a trained sharpshooter, and I've never lacked in speed!
I think my ammo's all run out
How is that even a thing?
I turn my back and set about
To start replenishing
But there is nothing here to find
I guess I'll have to go
Back to my home and soon remind
Myself to fix this problem, though...
A good old-fashioned rifle - it's all a girl could ask for!
A death-game on an icy world just means I need it more!
And when your shells are scattered about and your trigger finger's sore...
Just trick it out with alchemy and add forbidden lore!
JADE (Spoken): Actually, that's a terrible idea! Just... keep the grimoire out of it, okay! But cue balls are good! Anyway...
A good old-fashioned rifle - it's a girl's second-best friend!
A gift for generations, and a legacy that never ends!
A simple deadly gift on which I can always depend!
For a rifle is a girl's...
Second...
Best...
Frieeeeeeend!
THIS IS STUPID